Why 'Letting Go' attracts an Ex (Podcast 818)

Is it true that 'letting go' attracts an ex? Today's podcast will help if you're a dumpee and want to try to get your ex back after a breakup.
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[@Flamey34]

The more i reach my clock limit..the more and more i am letting go of her by keeping myself out of the overanalyze phase as much as possible

[@a.d.b535]

Not a fun trip for sure

[@donovanlemos]

I don't understand why you aren't more prominent in the ex recovery/break up scene, definitely deserved. It's not always about getting an ex back but also focusing on yourself. And also providing realistic, down to earth and honest advice. Thanks for keeping us suffering sane! 👌🏽

[@vincentbos]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Stay positive and remember that the sun always rises after darkness.

[@thatsmysherman]

I'll add my story to this just in case it helps others. These techniques probably work for me since I was technically a rebound. I was with a guy for three months. We were having a really good time. He said he was in love with me and I had slowly fell in love with him. Two weeks before he broke up with me, his ex-fiance reached out. He communicated with me that this happened and told me that he didn't feel anything for him. However, he wasn't true with himself. He still had the feelings and went back to him. I believe they were broken up for three months prior to him getting with me and maybe went no contact. The ex didn't reached out to him until he saw that he was with someone else. So if you're reading this, things could work out with you and your ex. Unfortunately, I dont think him coming back to me is an option. I'll put it into the hands of the universe.

[@manash_pr0]

The hope of her coming back really lessens the pain. I think I should keep this hope if its keeping me alive, if she doesn't come back after a year, Will it hurt again in the same amount?

[@ColdMountainGuy18]

Good question. This month marks a year since my break up. I knew I had to prepare myself for the first "anniversary periods" (e.g, holidays, bdays,etc) so that was tough. But now that they've lapsed, I can recall what I did a yr ago this time (e.g, starting journaling, being still with myself, reading etc). So reframing now is stronger and less vulnerable to emotional cues. There seems to be this "unwritten schema" some female dumpers (heternormative context) follow. "If he wanted to, he would...if a guy really loved you etc..." My observation is that with all genders of dumpees, this is the time for you so sending good energy/reminder that a person's happiness is never dependent on another. It really doesn't mean you loved someone less/less committed if dumpers don't see effort post breakup they initiated.

[@bpoydras1503]

This content is absolutely on point. The only thing I may do a little differently is, I do indeed chase her a bit, after she dumps. I intentionally chase her for about a week, right after getting dumped, in order to make my girl come to expect the extra (post dump) attention, which kind of flatters them a bit, if done right. Only to eventually cut off ALL my attention suddenly and without notice. This gets to women psychologically, as they wind up getting used to all that extra attention, while causing them to wonder, what happened to all that great attention (supply) he was giving to me? Ultimately they will have begun to look for and expect the attention, but it is now GONE, as I go into complete radio silence. This drives their imagination wild with curiosity, causing them to wonder WHY did he give up, where’d he go? lol Women are very curious creatures.

[@user-go8sr5wc8m]

So i want to share this. This is my experience. Me and my ex were together one year i moved to ohio to her small shit racist town to be with her after we met in SC. I got off drugs im getting my life together. I did her jail bid with her mail letters phone calls u know. All her rehab stays where we couldnt see one another only talk and video chat sometimes only for ten minutes a day. Anyway she saved my life about 10 times from drug overdoses around the time we first met a year ago. We met sober and relapsed about a month after we met. The theres more but the point is she broke up with me for another guy and moved in with him seemingly right away. There was alot of love and effection and romance in our relationship. I dont think either one of us has been with anyone like the other. Anyway when she broke upnwith me because of somthing i did back in sc while she was in jail. "Cheating" i did the normal letters gifts etc. She refused to budge said she was happy now he treats her so good blah blah blah. She said im moving in with him. I sent one last email after a week of no contact telling her i wish her well im glad shes happpy now etc. All my efforts pushed her away more. I was so depressed down and out. Anyway i stumbled across these no contact and rbound relationship videos and learned alot. I initiated no contact. I was not going to reach out to her ever again. Then within the last week of me writing this comment, i stubled across manifestation videos the law of attraction and assumption videos. I essentially initiated all of what i learned. Then i talked to a guy about it and he said write you and your girls name in a circle with a heart around it and write these rune symbols i picked the rune symbols that fit our signs after u downloaded the rune app. I wrote a letter saying how sje was feeling about me currently and i basically took the position that we were already back together right now. In real time and affirmed that. I put the letter under my pillow. I had a dream with her in it. She was only there for what seemed thebfirst 5min of the dream. Then the next day came and on the 3rd day mind you she blocked me on everything. On the 3rd day she inboxed me which is lastnight as its 455 am right now Est time. She inboxed me "Hey" i waited a little bit and i said hey whats up. She said i had a bad dream about you are you ok. I said yeah im good how are you. She then started telling me that shes sorry she made a mistake and that no other guy is me and that they arent going to love her like i did and that she misses me soooooo muuuuuch. It was dumb she said she knows nownthst she just cant be leaving me because im her person and were meant to be together and etc etc. She wants to be with me again. She said it took her doing this to see that. Now thr truth is she doesnt have to come back to me because women have options and this guy is better off then me. She said she got with him because she was hurt and wanted to forget but she thinks about me all time. She said she cant wait to show me how much she has been missing me. I digged at her by repeating some of the foolish things she said to me about how good this guy is etc. I apologized for my shortcomings too.. i told her we can tske it slow but she wants to see me. She lives with this guy and says shes 10000 percent sure she doesnt want to be with him hes controlling he cant please her like me and whatever. Anyway im saying that to say what my experience is and that if you want your ex back you gotta apply yourself but never contact them if you guys really had a genuine love one that isnt common amongst the crowds out there its a good chance they are going to see that. But maybe also the laws i put into play also helped. Thsnks for the videos. Cheers.

[@user-go8sr5wc8m]

Also it was about 3 to 4wks from breakup to first contact after I stopped hitting her up finally.