Why Men Choose The Wrong Women (and How to Fix It)

[@79bull]

Relationships; I spent 20+ years trying and lost well over half of all the income I made. If I said this about any other type of addiction I would be advised to quit immediately. Yet my decision to opt out entirely at this point is considered unusual. 😅

[@john-griffin]

That is an excellent point! I like the way you compare our addiction to women to an addiction to a substance. There’s a lot of similarities.

[@79bull]

@@john-griffinAll the highs and lows. The emptiness and withdrawals when you lose someone. All signs of reliance on something external to exist.

[@AE-yp4kc]

@@john-griffin Addiction or Cat Scratch Fever? 🤣😂 In words of the Philosopher Ted Nugent: "I got it from some kitty next door Well I went and seen the doctor And he gave me the cure I think I got it some more"

[@bobbyjames4300]

@@AE-yp4kc😂

[@anonymissed3611]

Predatory lending.

[@RS-ms1bz]

The issue these days is there are only a few good women to choose from. Men would be smart to not choose a woman at all. Choosing peace and a drama free life should be the objective. Even a good woman is going to bring turmoil and drama into the relationship, just not the insane amount most women possess. Choose wisely gentlemen!!

[@edlepkowicz4478]

Good luck finding a good woman

[@JohnSmithEx]

​I've chosen to be bigamous. I am unceremoniously married to Peace and Tranquility.

[@jacksonripper-mp8dr]

Never get into a contract where the other person is rewarded for breaking it..... And anyways even if you choose a good woman, there's no fixed guarantee that your relationship would be a smooth sailing journey.....

[@MrSimonw58]

Christmas ... ho ho ho

[@AE-yp4kc]

The problem is most woman have been permanently tainted by feminism. They want to be "strong independent women." Some think they want to be married. But, they see marriage as the acquisition of a second "daddy" to hand them money, fulfill all of their wishes, and "make them happy." They have zero interest in a real husband. Simply listen to them. They tell you in a variety of ways. They won't say the quiet part out loud.

[@theien5929]

82. Year old here. The problem most young men have is that they are toooooo focused on sex as a result of their hormonal nature. The most important issue should be that partners share the same lifetime goals and are headed in the same direction--- together.This requires shared moral,religious, economic, social and cultural interests. They must enjoy one another’s company, outside of a sexual relationship.

[@stephanesylvestre7143]

Amen to that😊

[@dacat8171]

You are wrong, because you lost the sxx drive and therefore cannot understand a 20 year old mind. Sxx is what bonds two partners together.

[@watamutha]

That is true, the problem is when women show their best selves and then that disappears after marriage. I vetted my wife for 3 yrs and she was consistent with her answers. After marriage that changed. We’re still married, but a lot more disagreements came up bc she lied about several of them.

[@Enochrry6024]

Great wisdom, many men can't stand the woman outside of sex so compatibility is very important.

[@MX-CO]

@@theien5929 sex is all we want from them. That and stay in shape. That's really it

[@sunset9729]

Depending on someone else for your happiness is your biggest mistake you will ever make.

[@racebannon96]

Finding someone that doesn’t dump every responsibility and chore on you is difficult.

[@TheMiraleah]

That hit home for me

[@dacat8171]

You are wrong. There must be a reason why it takes a woman and a man to form offspring. I hate this self development b/s.

[@BoomChaqaLaqaBoom]

Top Comment. If you're not happy, a woman isn't going to make you happy.

[@John_Wood_]

that generally applies to vvomen

[@davidpbcivil]

I don't blame my ex-wife for problems in our marriage. I blame her for breaking her vows and commitments, for divorcing us and breaking up our children's family. This is the destruction that modern women overwhelmingly choose to cause.

[@SecretMarsupial]

Never married but the devastation and destruction a separation brings after years of dedication is hard to forgive.

[@TheGalacticIndian]

Therefore, in the past, only men could file for divorce. And ladies behaving in this way were punished by stoning🤷‍♂ Someone will say that this is barbaric, but killing one's own child is even worse barbarism, and yet it is legal🤔

[@thebatman8895]

I agree with this. The breaking of the vows is what hurt me the most and took the longest to recover from.

[@andrewpizzino2514]

With a society that encourages them to do so

[@tomallen8296]

@@TheGalacticIndian very well said. I’ve been saying the same thing for a long time. It is one of my vetting questions. Wish you well.

[@drich8806]

36 year old divorced dad. The only kind of relationship I want is one where we both believe in and acknowledge an equal exchange of value. One of the biggest and most painful lies that society tells men is that relationships are all about love and romance, while our female counterparts treat it like a business/investment.

[@TheRoyalWe123]

Yessir

[@busksorensen7709]

I share your thoughts. My business had financial problems and I spent more time in housechore. She cheated me for the second time and filed for a divorce with false accusations of family violence. Now 6 years later I am a happy bachelor without any obligation (I don't have my kid I don't pay. I don't care if I go to jail). It is hard to loose your kid but all the process had made me a very bad person. My dearest uncle died yesterday but after loosing my family I don't care about anything.

[@user-td2lg1fl6h]

Women treat men like men treat jobs

[@WildB06]

@@busksorensen7709 I hear you man... the good thing about not caring anymore is that it is liberating. All the restraints and shackles of life fall away when you no longer care about anything or anyone. That means you can do anything you want.

[@whatsupbudbud]

@@busksorensen7709 Hey man, if it's really your kid, he will care about you. I hope you revisit your decision to not be in his life. Btw, I'm also in the same predicament.

[@mikejames9642]

The major takeaway…. IF, you want a relationship, it is going to be a heck of a LOT of work… and once you get to middle age, your options are limited with no guarantee that you will find the one. Do you want to spend all of your time and money searching and going through a bunch of time wasters, or just be happy single?

[@JediDarkForce]

Dating is for ppl who are max 27yrs old...

[@gtharo]

I’d take being single.

[@gvis8217]

For many men it simply isn't worth it anymore, seriously why even bother ? And before I get all the "uR jUsT cOpInG dEeErrppp" comments, prove me wrong.

[@JediDarkForce]

@@gvis8217 it's all true. In this economy you barely can afford basic necessities and ppl are lucky going on holiday abroad etc. Moreover with today's divorce rates and ppl just being together for the sake of kids or it's cheaper to keep her....better stay single

[@nahord33]

Stay single, keep yourself in shape, lay off the sauce, eat healthy and get your rest and you will find yourself happy that you have all the freedoms you ever want. I have found that living this way has become the best way for me to be happy.

[@Smuggler169]

Great advice.

[@sachawisznia9685]

Agreed!

[@DavidSmith-xr8js]

Just like on Indiana Jones, men choose a woman like they choose which cup is the Holy Grail. The most beautiful one will age you to death quickly! As the old man said, "He chose poorly".

[@john-griffin]

Great analogy!

[@chuck3671]

😂😂😂 Agree 💯

[@kire115]

😄

[@fatgirlboy9341]

but you have no interest drinking from the ugly cup

[@WJohnson1043]

Not if you’re good looking to match. You’ll age to death because of your insecurity, not because of her beauty.

[@Gladwin92]

My ex gf was a young lady from the rurals, i took her out from the rurals since i was working and staying in the urban area, she was the sweetest woman ever, kind, loving and respectful until one day she decided to change on me, she became a monster i have never seen she resented me so much and every little thing i did for her and our child it was never appreciated, thank God 2 years ago i decided to leave the relationship mind you i almost lost my life as she had a knife pointed to my face, i never want to go through that period in my life. Choose wisely or stay single guys.

[@xenobioticslyingeyes6900]

And we think we did something wrong.

[@FreedomTravels720]

If she is female you never trust her...that is what men need to understand 😊

[@nicksundby]

But they quicly figure out what we like and pretend to be that for 2-3 months. Only in month 4 do you start to see the real personality.

[@wordysmith]

So true. I had them pretend to love my hobbies and interests at the start, then turn nasty on it once they get their feet through the door

[@josephskowronski]

Or after the initial sex.

[@dariuszsobkowiak2384]

Up to 24 month. Than even the most persistent is tired of being fake and show their True face.

[@MX-CO]

So true

[@MX-CO]

To be fair, I think a lot of guys are acting for the first 4-7 months also. I don't think you really know someone for a year

[@christopherrobin361]

Basically, 95% of women are like: "I am lazy and shiftless and need someone to pay my massive debts and lifestyle upkeep. At the same time I am also immensely disloyal and will cheat on this person endlessly, and I'll accuse him of YOU KNOW WHAT if he complains. Also I'm not especially bright but I have an enormous ego and need constant praise and validation so I can live in my fantasy land where I'm beautiful, brave, intelligent, and that my naps and Twitter virtue-signaling and Tiktoks where I overshare my personal life are equal work to his 80 hour week at the office." Someone wrote this recently on other site. Well . . .

[@ferney2936]

very good characterisation

[@riaad8589]

That about sums it up...

[@ladybug3380]

Men also live in a delusional state where they want women to look at them as a hero. Both sides are delusional and egotistical.

[@bobbyjames4300]

That’s about right .

[@eric_linden]

Problem: we men don’t like to try on clothes at the clothing store. We want to take them home, then just try them on two weeks from now on the day we decide to wear them. Then, if they don’t fit, we will make a plan to take them back.

[@john-griffin]

That is comically true!

[@Chevelle602]

I try them on at the store but I do everything quickly. I don't shop with women. Ever.

[@Horatio1886build]

@@Chevelle602 that is the most exasperating experience, standing there, looking around, holding your wife’s pocket book, watching the shopping cart get fuller and your debt get bigger

[@iyoserhuns1231]

@@eric_linden how do you now choose a good woman?

[@wread1982]

My buddy married an 18 year old virgin when he was 21. Their parents made them wait till right after she turned 18. Then 6 or 7 years later she cheated with her boss and he found the sexting, she divorced him and took half 😢

[@michellesmith7363]

@@wread1982 being a virgin doesn’t mean as much as some men think. I know a lot of women married young as a virgin and at some point think they missed out and want to try out more guys. Might be nature as men like to sleep with as many women as they can too. In the past they would settle after sowing their wild oats or maybe they would marry and cheat on their wives.

[@janco333]

Losing half at 27 is not that bad

[@bobbyjames4300]

@@janco333and not good .

[@certaindeath7776]

come on, she never had an other. ofc she fantasizes and dreams of it. its human. some people are just too inflexible. there are ways where this could work. there are even places, where couples can go together and have fun with others, and go home together again. if you dont sort such things out and have open communications, it will fall on your head over and over again.

[@jazlynsaykwa5485]

Well hello again John and merry Christmas to you and all your followers…… I know a guy that did exactly what you recommend and he figured out what he wanted in a woman and did all kinds of dating to find the right woman for him…… And it paid off I was talking to him one day and he told me that he had met the perfect woman and was very excited about it…… Of course, I congratulated him and wished him the best, but then the next time I saw him his head was down and he was in a terrible depression. When I asked him what happened ?I thought he was so excited about meeting the perfect woman, he said, the problem I ran into was she was looking for the perfect man…

[@racebannon96]

OUCH!

[@parkinglot4956]

So true! 👍

[@MX-CO]

I've dated a couple girls that I would have considered damn near perfect, extremely attractive great personality, fun to be around, great in bed etc, and in those situations, everyone and I mean everyone wants them, and they know It! And it becomes an issue sooner or later and usually sooner than later. I guess if you find yourself in that situation, all you can do is enjoy it while it lasts. But it's very seldom gonna last long.

[@MX-CO]

We just want attractive and willing to have sex regularly they don't even have to love it 😊

[@WildB06]

John's downfall will be his constant encouraging men to look for the right woman. All you're doing is adding salt to the wounds. Even if you find the perfect woman, she will change. It is certain.

[@teramedia7333]

I might know exactly what traits i am seeking in a caterpillar, but it doesnt change the fact that eventually it will becone something entirely different. Stay single, gentlemen.

[@tomallen8296]

I like your analogy.

[@WildB06]

Facts. I cringe when John is always encouraging looking for the right good woman. A good woman today will become a demon tomorrow.

[@TonyHansen-d1y]

In general... Men and women are incompatible.... We think logically and sensibly, while women are emotional and illogical. You would think that it is a good thing because opposites attract. nope.. that only works in magnets. A couple has to be on the same page, think about common goals, and build the relationship together. 9 times out of 10 this will not happen. Unfortunately it is because the Man wants to build and provide for the family, while most of the time the woman only wants what is better for herself.

[@NickVincent-w3e]

For illogical substitute her feeeelings (in the moment). And you’re not wrong

[@janco333]

Men are not as logical as you think

[@ladybug3380]

That’s why I believe we should separate ourselves from each other and only come together for mating purposes. Eventually technology will advance to the point where we won’t need to come together to mate.

[@gvis8217]

It used to work out just ok, until we gave them rights..... biggest mistakes ever

[@BlakesPipes]

As much as I would like to dislike my ex, I see all the problems I made. I put her infront of me along with her kids and even her dog. I lost my purpose and made her and her children ahead of me. I stopped all my hobbies that kept me fit like motorcycling as I sold my bike and I stopped running. I gained weight and became unhappy. Funny, my ex and I never had sex problems, even divorced we continued having sex. But I look back and know not wonder what happened. I lost me, I had made her and her kids my purpose, I put the oxygen bag on them first before I put it on myself. I died inside doing that. But that was what love ment to me, put them as your importance and that woman will never leave me... that was a big mistake. I am back on my own purpose now. I will see if another woman will ever be apart of my life, but I won't make the same mistakes, or at least try to maintain direction.😊

[@Horatio1886build]

No ! No, No, No; don’t do it. Don’t even consider it again. Don’t even toy with the concept of an LTR with one of these things.

[@Job.Well.Done_01]

I get it, it’s tough. Men build, provide, protect, and teach. Unfortunately, before we can teach - we have to learn….. The hard way.

[@BlakesPipes]

@@Horatio1886build trust me, this was my second divorce. i live at the beach and own two motorcycles. i was running but a injury and health issues have me bogged down right now. but 51 and hope to see good direction this year. i am not looking or even want another woman in my life. all they have been to me is time and money wasters and 8 seconds at a time for bliss. other then that, i can save money, time along with enjoy my life each day. if i do not enjoy the day, its my fault. So no need to save me. I do not want a dog right now, but i see in the future if my living contditions change, i might want one. same with a woman, i can see if one lives at her place and i live at mine and we enjoy each others company from time to time, i could see that being a posibility. but i will not put forth energy to lewer one in and have her as my own any longer. maybe just one i wear a condom with every once and a while. its been 4 years on my own, it was almost 25 years since i saw alone. merry christmas sir.

[@stormtraders]

It’s a mechanism you learned from childhood. You become one of the 2 personalities. You can become a people pleaser and lose yourself to gain attention from your parents. Or you become noisy and scream and shout to get your attention from your parents. I too was the first one

[@JediDarkForce]

I'd say that men are deceived by their acting...then bait&switch comes into place and game over 🤔

[@rodrigo100kk]

Yes. 100%

[@kielperry7219]

@@JediDarkForce ….this is the real problem.

[@biggusdickus7089]

People can hide who they really are for the first 90 days of a relationship. My advice? Take a step back and observe while keeping your emotions out of the equation as much as possible.

[@racebannon96]

Excellent point

[@Horatio1886build]

They are very good natural born actors woman are. And they can rationalize away any horrible damaging action they do.

[@suefleming]

Number one : somebody kind-hearted. Considerate. Willing to see your point of view. After this everything will fall into place.

[@john-griffin]

Thanks Sue!

[@antithesespistopheles8112]

That’s exactly how the trap is set.

[@fabianirsara9846]

@@suefleming „willing to see your point of view“ AND being able to see it(!) Just not gonna happen tho 😂

[@matchhunter7012]

If it was that easy 😂

[@olivergo7598]

Me twice I choose the wrong woman. No matter how good you are, provide them better life and security still it does not matter to them. I don’t believe anymore the value of marriage. Before yes, I admired my parents the value of marriage. They stick together no matter what. I’m at my 50’s and enjoy life being single.

[@wordysmith]

I am with you, twice bitten and not planning to go back

[@WildB06]

Not just in marriage either. I've chosen poorly dozens of times in the dating scrap market also.

[@wread1982]

My parents had there 55 year anniversary in July, they sleep in separate bedrooms. Dad has always been unhappy, he used to complain that he was a slave providing for us growing up. He’s miserable and he just got diagnosed with Parkinson’s at 75

[@jamesk2556]

The leading cause of divorce is marriage!😂

[@derekfrost6949]

Lol 😂

[@oscarm.1417]

John, the most dangerous women are not those that will seduce you into making a commitment. The most dangerous women are those that check all the trust boxes and end up crossing you at the most vulnerable time of your life.

[@john-griffin]

That’s a great point. I’ve definitely seen that.

[@racebannon96]

We had two young kids and a new mortgage. She announced to me she wasn’t happy and was leaving. Fortunately, we didn’t buy the mansion she wanted. Our new mortgage was based on my income alone. I got custody of our kids in the divorce. She was living a new lifestyle and our kids would interfere with that. Never interrupt your enemy when they are screwing up.

[@filsed]

True!

[@genghischan69]

Since my divorce some months ago, seeing how quickly she's moved on, looking at my own potential "options" (and non-options) on dating apps etc, I've realized that what I want or might want in a woman is something I will never come close to achieving so I'm instead making peace that there's nothing for me out there and I'll focus my life on my child's well-being, my work and various hobbies exclusively

[@WildB06]

That is the correct way to go. The thing that John never covers is how easy it is for women to find another Chad. If she's attractive she will have them lining up round the block. The same is not true for men. John is always encouraging dating and that is his one major flaw. Don't do it, it will only make the pain ten times worse when you get done over again (and again and again) in the dating game. Enjoy your hobbies and freedom.

[@dreamangus1505]

I think in the beginning men mostly go for looks, and it overwhelms everything else. Including getting to really know someone and as you say John getting the man to really analyze what he wants in a partner. Then over time looks fade and they are stuck with a partner they no longer lust after, and who they have nothing in common with. Recipe for disaster. Great video John.

[@clintpot8521]

We don't have honest money so we don't have honest relationships. My problem is that every woman I meet does not respect how hard I have to work to pay for stuff they want. We live in an era where money is printed with no effort to earn it, so women have become out of touch with the value of good hard honestly earned money while meanwhile banks and politicians just print off money and reward media which promotes this destructive social agenda. "Give me control of the money supply, and I can destroy a culture" - One of the Soviet Era Russian leaders. I also think the younger generation does not understand the difference between reality and the internet, which is understandable because they grew up with cell phones in front of their faces since they were babies. "Dating" on the internet is not the same as dating in the real world, yet many women will date endlessly online and then never commit to dating in the real world. This lazy dating approach is really bad for healthy relationships, instead promoting shallow throw away dating where the only real winner is the dating website charging fees to communicate.

[@s1n4m1n]

Easy money allows a lot of bad behaviors to continue. Also I think the vast majority of professional women work in government jobs (schools, bureaucrats ) or government supported jobs (healthcare). I’m interested to see the impact of DOGE.

[@Savvynomad225]

@@s1n4m1nmost jobs are government supported since 2008. After the bailouts, government became industry backstop partner and small businesses are beholden to bigger business directing their choices, and it’s infiltrating all sectors with any sustainable value

[@wordysmith]

Print off money and distribute as welfare to single mothers. Now that really encourages a certain mindset

[@Falconlibrary]

Most young women say they need a man who earns at least $100,000 a year. That's only 17% of men. When they throw in other qualifications (must be over six feet, only 14.5% of the population), only 5%-10% of men are acceptable, and many men earning over $100k a year are already married. This just proves that women have no idea how much things cost and how much men earn, of course. They know nothing about us and make up these fantasy lists in their heads that are written in stone.

[@oaktreeman4369]

< "Dating" on the internet is not the same as dating in the real world> True. Some years ago, my late brother and I did an experiment. We registered onto various matchmaking sites, and took note of the results and the general experience. What we found was that there are three types of women on those sites. The first are those who have no interest in actually meeting anyone. Chatting with various men online is all they're after. The second type will agree to a first date, but that's all. An endless series of first dates which lead nowhere is all they're interested in. The third type are the genuine ones. They're looking for a settled relationship with a good man. But you have to be a little bit psychic to figure out which ones they are.

[@tarekyousuf8699]

The right woman + time is allways the wrong woman. Time separates even steel. Greatings from germany

[@Bunny420ization]

Can you please explain Brother ?

[@mjaybee]

@@Bunny420ization I’ll explain. The woman you date is not the woman you’ve been married to for 5 years, is not the woman who you’ve been married to for 10 years, is not the woman you divorced last month. Stability and women are rarely found together. See menopause and divorce statistics for reference.

[@ladybug3380]

@@Bunny420izationlongterm monogamous relationships aren’t working. It’s not natural.

[@WildB06]

Absolute facts. No matter how much you think she's the one, it will disintegrate with time. Especially if she's hot and has options. Then your turn will be very short

[@tarekyousuf8699]

​@@WildB06You got it.If she has options and there is a bbd (bigger better deal), she will monkeybrench to her next victim. But his time is also limited. Loyality isn,t in there dna.

[@jawi499]

Maybe I’m different. I never ever met one that met my standards. Thumbs up if you are in my group of men.

[@Late60sMusicFan]

OMG, I'm embarrassed to say you described exactly what I did wrong. Fortunately, I never remarried.

[@theglobalvagabond3074]

Step 1. She must fill out an "SF86." Step 2. Current Credit Report. Step 3: Complete a list of all medications, current and past. These are non-negotiable. After this, we'll meet for coffee. Wish me luck!

[@tdgdbs1]

SF86 on initial screening for clearance encompasses much more than a credit report and a psychological evaluation. On renewals, some items are omitted; I am a retired Army Nurse and had screened thousands of medical records, everything is taking into consideration on sliding scale include the amount of sick calls, profiles, medications, surgeries, injuries, spouses and children medical history....

[@Midlifer69]

This time last year I’d just split from my ex . Although I initiated the split I was a mess. Today I went for an 8 mile Boxing Day hike on my own . Life is good

[@Smuggler169]

Not only do I learn from the content being presented. But I also enjoy and receive value from the wisdom in the comments. Truly helpful and therapeutic. Thank you.

[@john-griffin]

I appreciate you saying that. Thanks

[@MSMW23]

My ex-wife stated it was my issue I was so broken from her affair because it just showed she could love someone else and I could not handle that fact. She blamed me for it happening as well as i was working too long hours for her and the kids. Funny thing, but after her affair ended because her affair partner died of an overdose, I met someone who was into me. Now I didn't revenge affair, but this new woman sent my ex into a frenzy of jealousy, anger and crying, saying I was being cruel to consider sleeping with her. Thank god she is my ex now and I live in peace alone. Never marrying or cohabitating ever again, peace is everything to a man.

[@john-griffin]

Fascinating story

[@JohnnyRebel1776]

You're right, buddy. When I first started watching you I liked what you were saying but I was irritated that you weren't harder on the women for being snakes. But after listening to this video I now understand why and where you're coming from. Good stuff. I wish I had heard all this 30 years ago.

[@artmeacademywiththesaltyse9537]

In my case, I never casted off trauma from my family of origin. I watched my father try to please an empty narc and it looked at felt normal when I did it for 30 yrs. My mistake going fwd and it repeats unfortunately is that I think women overstepping my boundaries is okay and I’ll just adjust my boundaries. Fatal flaw and my main fix. Thank you for the opportunity to share.

[@Falconlibrary]

My parents were both narcissists who hated each other. To quote Woody Allen: "My parents never divorced, although I begged them to."

[@dannyhansen8780]

Listen to this one a few times gentlemen. It's like changing and life saving advise.

[@stevem7822]

I struggle at 56 about not getting married again. On paper, I seem like a good idea. I am divorced. Am a family law attorney. I meet seemingly wonderful women who… seem like a good idea visually. Then I think of the countless cases I have done, and I shutter. But lately…. I think about John’s commentary about eating cheeseburgers whenever I want. It’s not that I want cheeseburgers everyday, but I do want to make that choice. More importantly, I want to be able to afford cheeseburgers. Divorce thwarts that. I will work on the characteristics list. Here goes a list of things a genie couldn’t even provide!

[@john-griffin]

As an attorney, I bet you have a perspective on those characteristics that most of us don’t have.

[@antithesespistopheles8112]

The absolute worst thing about my life was not having enough knowledge about women. I hate myself for allowing them into my life to perpetuate endless torture and misery. Once you have kids with them it’s all over for you.

[@racebannon96]

It takes a while, but the kids grow into adults. I ended up raising my kids alone. It’s just me and the dog now. I am living in peace and without drama.

[@antithesespistopheles8112]

@ unless you trust one into older age. I’ll be paying child support into my mid 60’s after starting paying for these parasites in my 30’s. Yes, it’s my fault, but that doesn’t make anything different for me.

[@Tacamojoe2]

Married twice too fast. I’m lousy at choosing wives. Lost two homes and paid child support for over 19 years. I would love a good relationship and partner but I am a really bad judge of character. Beware of Gold Diggers and covert narcissists.

[@racebannon96]

It’s not being a bad judge of character, these women in the beginning are on their best behavior and are usually loving. A lot of times their true personality doesn’t come out till years later or when your children are born. When you have kids with them, they know they have you trapped.

[@tomallen8296]

Outstanding material. I wish I had this material when I was younger.

[@BakersfieldGuru]

Sometimes your videos are hard to watch. You’re spot on a lot of things. Just brings back the pain. That’s all.

[@GBU61]

There is only one way to deal with long term relationships. Do not expect them to last. No matter what she says or does, no matter if you are married or living together or friends with benefits. The woman you meet and get to know will no longer be that woman a few years later. You may stick it out or adjust to keep her happy but eventually it runs its course. Modern women do not need men for their survival anymore because society is set up for women to succeed and men to fail. A man can either accept this reality and adjust or find out the hard way.

[@john-griffin]

Good advice

[@AE-yp4kc]

Here's my take: Simply don't get married. Marriage offers men zero, zilch, nada. From a "religious" background, people will say you "need" to get married. No one will force them to keep their vows. If either party can leave, at any time, marriage makes no logical sense.

[@Falconlibrary]

"Do you, (insert woman's name here), take this man (insert name here) in health but not in sickness, in prosperity but not in poverty, until Chad and Tinder do you part?" Hey, at least it's honest vows.

[@AE-yp4kc]

@@Falconlibrary That is good! 😂I'd write: "Do you, (insert woman's name here), take this man's (insert name here) house, savings, 401K, dog, and all other possessions in health but not in sickness, in prosperity but not in poverty, in happiness but not "unhappiness" until you find someone you THINK is better?" 🤣😂

[@gvis8217]

Well put. It's amazing how many men still want to get married, believing their unicorn is different. Many men deserve to get divorce graped.

[@matrices3987]

You can't choose between Evian or ozarka when you are in a desert with no water in sight.

[@MX-CO]

😊

[@AMERICAFIRST54]

I always find what I want when I view the line up at the Bunny Ranch.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Yuk.

[@biggusdickus7089]

😂😂😂

[@nap871]

There's a reason why theguys are called tricks.

[@Oxfordlyons]

Even if you pick the "right girl," you as a man still have very little authority in the relationship, marriage or not, "Chad" or not, if you live in the U.S., you live under a gynocentric social order. It's not completely hopeless, but extremely difficult, and until the laws change in terms of marriage and we collectively start to hold women accountable for their bad behavior, not much will change. Good luck out there.

[@Falconlibrary]

One example is child support. A woman can choose to have the child or delete it, but a man can't opt out of child support (surrendering all parental rights). Women have rights, men have responsibilities. All social welfare programs, including Social Security, are a massive wealth transfer from men to women. I don't see this getting better, ever, which is why I can't recommend marriage for any man.

[@gvis8217]

Marrying *any* woman in the west is just a ticking time bomb. The divorce laws are always on her side, not matter what you do.

[@James-dt7ky]

When you get older the s3x matters less. A good companion is more important.

[@uknowdisman]

I did the next logical step… which was to get married knowing it wasn’t the right step. Now I’m in the middle of a divorce 4 years later in my late 40s

[@HaroldLeeDye]

Men gain wisdom on how women think.

[@SaxSith]

My exwife talked me into a marriage and after 10 years she talked me into a divorce. Go figure 😅happy now

[@dennissherwood9952]

I advised a young man to spend a day at the local family/divorce court should he ever be tempted to marry. To picture himself in front of the Judge getting screwed in a divorce proceeding. Don't take my word for it; see for himself actual cases.

[@riseup902]

I think this strategy is one that us guys need to use when dealing with women that we are dating. We do get caught up in her looks and the sex while ignoring the red flags that she might have. When the looks wear away, you might find the person you are with is not really the type of person you should be with. And definitely take your time. That is something I learned the hard way by marrying someone in 3 months and never want to repeat ever again. There is always a risk when it comes to women and all we can do is minimize it.

[@inkedon3513]

As i enter my 30s im slowly realizing the ideals my grandparents achieved in marriage. Companionship love conversation above all else a loyal trust worthy partner; are things not bred into the minds of young women of today. The entitlement and willingness to bail are the only enforced values. People often say the grass isnt always greener on the other side of the fence but females perpetual curiosity seems to cause them to wonder into the neighbours yard so to speak. Im slowly realizing i may be alone. And that isnt the worst thing. The worst thing is being with someone that makes you feel alone despite their presence.

[@PredatorySquirrel]

Hey Man. You just told my story. Thanks a lot for your work. It definitely helps all men, not only young men.

[@davel7014]

I don't think very many men "shop" for a wife. Instead, they meet a girl who is cute, funny and seems really to like him. He feels happy and sees her as the one. Sadly, it's like buying a car because you like how it looks, without first looking under the hood to see what it's made of.

[@chillikoala]

It's a really good point. Men are generally not fussy, but in this day and age, we really do need to pay more attention, strictly stick to fundamentals, and absolutely reject anything that doesn't meet our standards. So many women in the west these days are laden with behaviours and red flags like mines that will end up destroying the relationship, our finances, our other relationships, and even our health. Regardless though, I wouldn't recommend cohabitation with women, ever. The laws make it too easy for the state and women to steal your assets, even if you're not married and only casually dating. Or to avoid the drama altogether, avoid emotional relationships and stay single.

[@earx23]

Once again such an informative video. I think I may follow your example and do daily walks to clear my mind and reach profound knowledge!

[@dmil843]

Most women will wait to get to know you (sans sex), but she’ll be getting to know someone else at the same time with sex…So, who do you want to be?

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Parallel Provider Assessment.

[@JohnSmithEx]

The first one, who eventually understands the quality of her character and rejects the 304. The other one is getting her pes.

[@riseup902]

If she's found someone better she will more then likely flake on you anyways

[@robcday1]

Gents, just find some hobbies you love and consider getting a loyal, loving, and never-judgmental dog as a companion.

[@maurotolari9215]

The only reason some people are happily married boils down to one thing ,luck everythig else is irrelevant.

[@Jay-bu6cd]

This guy is really smart. I encourage young men to tune into what he is saying. I’m 59 and this guy speaks truth.

[@Earthhasnolove]

My son turns 13 today even though I don't get along with my wife she's amazing with my son and I'm greatful for that

[@earx23]

Relationship satisfaction is like job satisfaction. Only 25% are happy. And maybe that won't even last.

[@TheSnookman]

Am I the only one that cringes now when I see a guy wearing a wedding band?😂

[@matchhunter7012]

Same here!!

[@adrianfrank1758]

There’s a beautiful waterfront park here where I live. Part of it is a large lawn/amphitheater. It’s booked solid for weddings during the summer. Every time I pass by one I have an urge to scream at the poor dumb bastard getting married to run and save himself.

[@ladybug3380]

Some men and women are in healthy relationships.

[@kahvac]

We were told girls are sugar and spice and all things nice.

[@fabianirsara9846]

We were also told all men are evil Remember: anything popular is wrong

[@Seer_96]

Excellent advice. Research her before anything.... if it takes years-so be it

[@matchhunter7012]

While you do your research I'll be renting her😂

[@Late60sMusicFan]

About your point #2: "build a strong friendship first"... It's better to say, as you explained >> what is your long-term intention. You are dating to find out if there's a future for both of you. I would suggest, never say you are looking for a friendship with her... because your intention is not a friendship.

[@TK-bm5lm]

Agreed. When he mentioned friendship, I shook my head. Once you establish a friendship with a woman, it becomes awkward to move it to the next level in many cases. If she is friendship material, then break it off until she can be more than that at a later time. Date with intention. Make your goals clear. Don't compromise. "Friendship only" is a compromise that can leave you stuck in a situation you never intended.

[@Late60sMusicFan]

@@TK-bm5lm -- LIke John did say after. Make clear up-front what is your long-term dating intention... so she does NOT put you in the friend zone. And if she does, then don't waste your time.

[@plumeria66]

@@TK-bm5lmActually, women’s attraction to you has nothing to do with whether you are just a friend or not. It doesn’t matter. Attraction is attraction. Speaking as a woman.

[@TK-bm5lm]

@@Late60sMusicFan Then the advice he gave was contradictory.

[@TK-bm5lm]

@@plumeria66 Doesn't matter whether you are a woman in this matter. But thanks for the credentials.

[@fantomas005]

Ευχαριστούμε!

[@john-griffin]

Thank you!

[@mr.goldenproductions_0143]

Hey John! Love your vids man! Could you do a video on how to beat laziness and procrastination ?

[@purplesprigs]

The "right woman" is like getting a perfectly predicted NCAA basketball tournament bracket. Is it mathematically possible? Yes. Will it ever happen? No.

[@Brent-z2s]

A credit check might help because if a woman can control her spending 💰 she can control her other impulses.

[@love19398]

I did not sleep with my wife before marriage as she was a virgin. I chose her because she was a good girl, conservative, religious, traditional etc. The mistake I made was she was not really friends with me. We only dated( long distance relationship) for 6 months before marriage. She acted like she loved me because we both really wanted to get married and I had a good job as a professional person. After 5 years of marriage, there are fundamental problems of poor communication. We are not friends. She is not interested to talk with me, does not want to spend time with me, sexless marriage for over three years now. Absolutely no intimacy..............................

[@MX-CO]

No intimacy no relationship, that Relationship is over buddy

[@anthonylogiudice9215]

@@MX-CO And she's getting her needs met elsewhere.

[@BoomChaqaLaqaBoom]

Career, success, freedom, independence and the protection thereof should be at the top of every man's priority list.

[@salmonruss]

Yet again, you smashed it out of the park, John. Awesome video. Exceptional wisdom. Verified by many /most people’s direct experience…if they’re being honest with themselves on the subject. Thank you for sharing fractals of your lived experiences with others.

[@marcocannon87]

Its an unbelievable feeling to know that being single really is a superpower. Im fulfilled, free, peace, calm, good friendships, no drama, no nagging. Hobbies I pursue with passion. Life is awesome. Single definitely doesnt mean lonely.

[@zetadervish737]

Perhaps social contracts are NOT indefinite projects. Like term-based contracts, time should be delineated or tied to voidable options.

[@fantomas005]

I m 44 and tbh I can hear my words through you Sir. Thank you for your time and sharing.

[@john-griffin]

You are very welcome

[@aminai8581]

Thanks mate. It was a great one.

[@john-griffin]

I’m glad you liked it!

[@georgekibblin9924]

On the idea of waiting until MONTHS have passed good luck! I tried this method, and it didn't work. The women all felt rejected because I didn't make sexual advances within two weeks. As a man, you would think that this would be a logical method, but women aren't logical.

[@john-griffin]

That is funny and sad at the same time

[@vryc]

There is a blueprint, fellas. There really is one. 1) she must have a good relationship with her father 2) what sort of person is her mother... when you first started dating her, now, and going into the future? Women do change. Her mother is the most-likely way your chosen women will be like throughout her life. 3) is she honest? ESPECIALLY when she has no reason to be 4) is she loyal? Only way to really test this is under adverse conditions (i.e. when your health dramatically falls off, your income drops, you lose a job, you suffer loss...) 5) is she more likely to take responsibility or to place blame? Doesn't actually matter what the issue is 6) does she initiate sex? Has she done so CONSISTENTLY over a long(er) relationship? There will be dips due to all sorts of reasons, but an average... what is her proclivity? 7) what skills does she have? Can she bake, cook, clean? These might seem both basic and misogynistic, but they really aren't. There simply BASIC adult skills. Basic. 8) does she maintain herself? Does she maintain her weight? This is "on average". Of course there are times in life where these things will wane. But overall? A women that can't generally control her appearance has much deeper issues. Just like a women who almost exclusively focuses on these things; flag on the field.

[@john-griffin]

Great list

[@RG-cz1tc]

John, while it is ideal to make a list of what one wants in a woman, the challenge is to actually meet women who check these boxes. Online dating is a disaster, if you don't go to bars, that is out, church is usually out, "fix up" dates from friends are to be rejected out of hand. So just think, say you like to golf, and there are women who golf at the course. First, they are in their own leagues, second, if you met one for golf, and some dating, the odds that woman would fit the "list" are small, and so then you move on to the next one, "somewhere". If you strike up a conversation at your gym or the grocery store, today's women are warned that you are a "creep". My point is that just to find the pool of women from which to check the list, is extremely fraught with risk. I think one who meets all the list requirements will just as likely become a problem later, sorry to say. Also, if you find one, putting off intimacy too long becomes awkward and the woman thinks there is something wrong with you. You cannot make intimacy the threshold that commits you to that person, not these days.

[@john-griffin]

Great points

[@KristopherStidd]

Thank you for the video John ❤🙏🏿💯

[@john-griffin]

I appreciate that. Thanks for your support

[@TheBlackGlovesOfficial]

The difference is that clothes don't change color, size and fitment after you buy them, other than marginally. Women are shapeshifters. The bait-and-switch is the problem, not the shopping.

[@john-griffin]

That is often true

[@septimir5278]

One of your best videos thus far, useful info for young men (me?) from a grounded perspective

[@shirleygriffin7672]

True happy marriages are rare. Content here.............from the Ozarks in the gym, 57 degrees and ☔ rainy

[@marcoaurelioalmeida1486]

Tuas analogias e metáforas são incríveis, fazem muito sentido. Obrigado.

[@john-griffin]

I'm glad you liked them!

[@Earthhasnolove]

Words of underrated wisdom your channel deserves to bl9w up..

[@edimichaelchannel1162]

Its better to experience and lost than never experiences at all, it is a journey....life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you get.....but in the end its still sweet.

[@929cbr_rr]

The experience of marriage was not sweet at all for me. More like, "very sour tasting". Now then being a divorced fella since 1987, yeah, that's been very sweet.

[@thegraybeard]

Seeing this video rn is incredibly ironic. I've been divorced for a few years and haven't really sought out a relationship. However, a woman has started being very friendly, like way more friendly than "normal". She's a bit on the wild side so the logical side of my brain is saying to avoid her. But, my primal side is saying GO.. GO.. GO.. The problem is, I've just established a new friend's group and she happens to be in it. I'm concerned that if I go out with her and something goes wrong, I'll lose my new friends. Making friends as a 50 yr old white male is no easy task, especially in 2024. :/

[@racebannon96]

No Risk, No Adventure. Warning….this has gotten me in trouble.

[@whatsupbudbud]

Ask yourself this - what are the chances of losing these friends over time without this woman influencing it and what are the chances that this relationship with the woman will be forever? I think there will always be another woman available but friends are for life. Good luck whatever you choose!

[@thegraybeard]

@@whatsupbudbud appreciate the advice my dude. Solid!

[@gregorylatta8159]

The key is to be in charge of your own life regardless of your relationship status. I can say NO when I need to.

[@eunicef1]

I love the floor analogy, John. Have a great festive holiday.

[@vincewhite5087]

On early sociology project studying in the early 80’s, of longtime happy marriages, I told my teacher, nearly all candidates, had grown up together. He pulled down historical studies & showed prior to the mid to late 60’s vast majority of couples grew up together or knew each other a long time. Just meeting a stranger &trying in a few dates before sex (which puts your big head into coma) is recipe for failure. It the old way women do not like anymore. because of romance industry & media etc. all romance is bumping into the perfect Mr Big at the store & fall in love.

[@gvis8217]

... plus dating aps have taken a woman's options into the next stratosphere. She has unlimited options as there's always a better deal waiting around the corner. Add the divorce with no accountability for women and you have recipe for disaster.

[@arturmassa3600]

I dated my wife for 5 years, 28 years married till now, but it was/is not allways easy, and I had to learn how to mantain it peaceful and not boring. It is a never ending battle.

[@NickVincent-w3e]

Basically you’ve turned yourself into her Entertainment Manager.

[@arturmassa3600]

@NickVincent-w3e You are right, that is what a man has to do to keep the marriage for the good of our children. If you do not want kids, do not marry.

[@benscampers1818]

Even in long term marriages all we hear is how difficult it is and how hard the man had to work and sacrifice. No thanks.

[@xenobioticslyingeyes6900]

Nothing worth having is easy why should relationships be any different.

[@arturmassa3600]

@@xenobioticslyingeyes6900 Not true for me; I really can appreciate and be grateful when things are simple and easy. I personally don't try to make life difficult for anyone, so I found it hard to understand why other people, especially those who are supposed to be more supportive and loving, like the wife, are often intentionally cruel to me.

[@dianeneedleman5154]

How true. We all have the same equipment. But BS true objective. And when you support your other to go for the objective and they quit before even starting you find out too late. You have been conned!

[@josephskowronski]

For me, I used positive characteristics like my mom, very even personality and doesn't try to change you. What i don't want is someone like my sister, negative, nagging,phony, and no appetite for sex.

[@parthakhanparthography]

Love your contents!!❤ Very practical and helpful🙂👍

[@charlesclose2420]

To Attorney: So I'm going thru with it! Ok? Attorney: Do you know that Divorce Judgements don't favor men? Do you have any idea what this will cost you? No? About 70k and 1/2 of all you share. Hmmm? And you'll have to pay her legal fees since she hasnt worked for a while. And since she is older, you'll have to support her for a long time! I guess she won the husband marriage risk lottery!:)

[@john-griffin]

Insanity

[@samanthony2950]

People change, there’s no guarantee that the woman will be the same or change for the better. The only way sure way to safeguard yourself is to stay single and don’t co-habitate. The risk of divorce and unhappiness is very high. Just have a look around you.

[@thebachelorsupreme]

3 C’s: No Commitment. No Cohabitation. No Commingling of Funds.