Why Most Modern Marriages Quickly End in Divorce | Divorce & Legal Expert Tebello Motshwane

The home of phenomenal conversations.
ENGINEER YOUR LIFE - EPISODE 110 - Tebello Motshwane (‪@Bellz_motshwane‬ Sister In Law
An in-depth conversation on the state of modern marriages and the intricacies that contribute to the high divorce rate.
Hosted by: Lungelo KM
Cinematography by: Tino Media
Content Production by: Owethu Mhlongo
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[@user-yy9mt6kl3h]

There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.

[@user-sk7kd8vs2w]

I honestly want to find happiness too. I've got a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I really miss her, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different paths, like therapy, to fix things.

[@user-yy9mt6kl3h]

Learning to let someone you love go is always a tough journey, but in my case, I had the wisdom of a spiritual mentor who kept my marriage from crumbling. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

[@user-sk7kd8vs2w]

Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.

[@user-yy9mt6kl3h]

You are Welcome.

[@user-nm9dz7lt3s]

Divorce is never the way out, My husband and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash

[@GeorgeSmith-lm2mh]

amazing, I am kinda in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

[@user-nm9dz7lt3s]

well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@GeorgeSmith-lm2mh]

please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?

[@user-nm9dz7lt3s]

her name is Quelani Eileen Freja, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@user-nm9dz7lt3s]

you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@BlooZulu]

There's an overarching reason for how we are moving as a humanity that makes the idea of marriage redundant. We are insisting on an outdated institution rooted in archaic ideology to still make sense to the people that we have evolved to be. Marriage in and of itself isn't a problem, the fact that we are not defining it within the context of the people that we have become is. People aren't introspective and lack accountability for themselves and their own lives. We still let society tell us who we are and how we should live and we become shocked with relationships and marriages when suddenly there are irreconcilable clashes. Marriage isn't for everyone and there isn't only one way of doing marriage for those who choose to do it.

[@bigthangz5489]

Until she has a flat tyre on her car, or some1 breaks into the house!! all of a sudden, we get strange distress calls from w0men at awkward times, for problems that in fact should be solved by hr husband.

[@busisiwephakathi7793]

Some men cant fix a flat tyre, besides there's insurance for that. Also, break ins happen even when there's a man or men. So your reasons are not sufficient.​@bigthangz5489

[@tshadimlangeni5388]

@busisiwephakathi7793 absolutely correct!! Men also become victims of hijacking like??? Anything can happen to anyone literally!

[@maritawanazw]

@@BlooZulu amen!

[@thobanivitaleous2837]

in short, how would you want marriage to be defined within the modern context?

[@njabulomasina4180]

When women say they have options it's actually a misnomer because those aren't actually 'options.' This is because women are primarily seeking committed relationships from men not physical intimacy. Just because a guy wants to sleep with you it doesn't mean that he's an option for a long-term relationship. Out of the 100 guys who are purportedly options, probably only 5 of them are willing to get into a committed relationship with the prospect of it leading to marriage. But probably all 100 of them want to sleep with you. Women shouldn't conflate the 2, otherwise they'll be up for a rude awakening. On top of that, women's standards are very high. A dude must be 6 ft 4, be filthy rich, look like a fitness model, have a third leg and drive a space coup. Let's be honest, how many of those dudes are willing to settle down if most women want them? They'll obviously play the field and indiscriminately exercise their options. A committed relationship is the furthest thing from their minds. My advice to women is to stick it out in your marriages, because there's nothing out here in these streets for you. The grass is not always greener on the other side. If there's no abuse (physical/emotional), cheating or any kind of seriously toxic behaviour, then stick it out. Bekezel', you'll thank yourself for it.

[@EngineerYLShow]

A perspective on marriage from a person who deals almost daily with the facts and figures surrounding marriage and divorce. Please like & subscribe so that we can grow to be able to facilitate more growth conversations 🏆

[@TheReal_GuguG]

I love how the guest eloquently explained everything and simplified everything... Educational episode ❤

[@kgomotsomakhubedu3189]

Informative, by far my favourite episode ❤️❤️

[@EngineerYLShow]

So glad!

[@menzimsane2680]

Sister in Law is brilliant.

[@DERWANGLE]

Smart advocate. I love that she is candid

[@Lindile_Nibe91]

Our world is evolving in so many ways ✨️ This was very informative 👏 👌

[@GracefulYvonne]

Sister In Law, is a brilliant concept!! But theeee woman behind the brand!! Such a phenomenal woman ❤😍😍 Enjoyed this episode, so informative.

[@elvisndlovu1232]

We are here for yet another high quality content 🎉🎉🎉

[@EngineerYLShow]

Gatsheni! Boyabenyathi! 🙌🏿

[@cavisto6832]

27:05 overemphasizing sex can lead to pressure and stress. Societal norms and cultural expectations. Otherwise every person's needs and desires differs.

[@thekarabodiale]

Men are in love, woman are in Business.

[@victorioussisters3307]

That’s fine and the Bible des state that - ‘Men love your wives as Christ loves the church!’ Yes, he must love me! Yes, again we’re doing business here found me with cars, houses and businesses.

[@isoboy1000]

Based on this interview men are getting a wake up call, thats why they now setting up marriage contracts before commiting.

[@zonqoba]

@@victorioussisters3307 the bible doesn't say that

[@MakeArtBae]

So true, like if a family or any business fails and you are married in community of property, the debt collectors can literally take everything you as a family has worked for, even if the debt was accrued by one party...This was lovely to watch!

[@mphihlengmagoro2957]

😂 Bathong Lungelo you did look and sound defeated on the men cheating with men reason. I wonder how many people actually divorce because of sexuality and identity based reasons today but only use the known reasons as motivation hiding the main reason 🤔 🤔

[@EngineerYLShow]

😂😂😂😂

[@mskhumalo5118]

@@mphihlengmagoro2957 it actually happens often actually, quite often.

[@ZolaNgemntu-v8t]

What an enlightning conversation about Modern Marriages 👏👏👏

[@zanelleful]

Awesome episode 🥺👌🏽🤌🏽

[@orefilemalebo4173]

Please lower the chairs the short people dangling their feet shame. Great show you are a great host hands down.

[@kwetsephetla3597]

😂❤

[@EngineerYLShow]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mphihlengmagoro2957]

@@orefilemalebo4173 hahahaha fully supported 😂😂😂

[@Bellz_motshwane]

@@orefilemalebo4173 😂😂 I actually didn’t notice. I’m super short so this is my everyday struggle even in boardrooms. I get excited when I find those adjustable swinging chairs 😂

[@B58luja23]

Divorce is always bad bro unless it’s excusable by Jesus. The reason this happens is because y’all aren’t getting married using the guidelines God Gave you not ar you marrying people who’ve given their life to Jesus as well as yourself. All answers are in the bible ouens.

[@melusigasa1154]

Informative, well executed interview 💯 ukhulile bhuti and ubizelwe kulento.

[@EngineerYLShow]

Thank you my brother. Siphendula ubizo futhi sethemba ukuthi imiyalelo ka Moya Ongcwele sisahamba nayo. I appreciate this recognition a lot!

[@NdumisoMazibuko]

Beautiful episode ❤ So insightful

[@EngineerYLShow]

Thank you Mr Mazibuko sir.

[@gustavmorata]

It was very insightful, but it would be nice if it was based on research rather than just generalisation.

[@Tom_34321]

While the guest has some perspective, she takes part in pre-martial aspects (eg drawing marriage contract) and post-marriage aspect (finalising divorce). A lot of opinions on the actual marriage were incorrect. If it was possible, a person in her field, with actual marriage experience and a sound knowledge of stats (even overseas stats, eg most divorces are actually initiated by women, so the question of men leaving high earning women implies that's a big factor when actually tje high earning woman is the one that feels she "deserves better"), such a guest with that real life experience and deeep chats with fellow married people and a knowledge of stats would have contextualised things much better.

[@Mpho503]

Much agree. Lukewarm responses from guest

[@Mpho503]

Lungelo, I loved how you asked questions. So succint with real life scenarios. I understand what you were getting at...to be a fly on the wall of a lawyers office. I felt the answers were lackluster and a bit disappointing. Maybe you can revisit this chat with her being more prepared. Congratulations on your MBL🎉

[@gugulethu4155]

I was so afraid to mention being disappointed in some of her answers, considering she is married herself but I assumed she just got married therefore didnt have much to share yet.....The platform is overall a great and very insightful

[@user-mh5ww4pk6l]

Thnks for great episode❤❤

[@matumelotaole4745]

Beautiful intelligent lady ❤❤

[@thelaalbertscorner]

Very informative ❤❤❤❤

[@EngineerYLShow]

Glad it was helpful! 🫂

[@Thando_Khumalo]

Enjoyed this episode, this is my new favorite channel now

[@ratibamohale]

A necessary conversation. This was very informative.

[@zonqoba]

I find this conversation unfruitful but an eye opener. If someone says love is not enough in marriage, clearly theres something wrong with you😢love is not a feeling love is a decision you take to love someone everyday im all their weakness unless they were unfaithful in bed. Without love theres no marriage!

[@sinegugumbili]

Yes please to the personal brand content

[@bigthangz5489]

7:53 - Freeze your eggs. But NO ONE TELLS the young w0men how much that costs per month !!! Last timr i checked it was around $50 000 dollars/month. Does a 23 yr old have that amount of money per month.

[@Mpho503]

I don't know anyone who is freezing any eggs. It's expensive

[@kabelontobo303]

Also, the success rate for IVF ranges from 23% -45% as per an article on CapeFertility. So even if you can afford it, it's not as easy as saying I'll freeze my eggs.

[@mphihlengmagoro2957]

Another informative episode.

[@EngineerYLShow]

It’s always a pleasure. Thank you for being a loyal member 🙏🏿

[@AnaMella1X]

Nice video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her...

[@Nancy-i2s]

It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.

[@AnaMella1X]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach her.?

[@Nancy-i2s]

Her name is maurice gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...

[@AnaMella1X]

Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.

[@ntombee1818]

Oh I love it here😍

[@letushilaalina]

Tebello is so amazing 🙏

[@user-wo2wy8rq4h]

excellent topic.Thank u🎉

[@ItumelengThulo-bp9do]

A woman will say anything to get out of marriage or relationship, either she says we abusive, we are broke "we dont have that thing"😂😂

[@vusimngomezulu2500]

Because they don't follow this direction, ephesians 5:22-33.

[@nontobekobiyela2548]

Smart lawyer this one

[@ayandal4744]

informative!

[@andilentuli8261]

Road to 100k

[@zonqoba]

You see this conversation has shown me the danger of taking what God established for His glory and using it for the glory of the flesh and lifestyle. I made a decision in my life never to marry a woman who wants a provider and earthly flashy lifestyle. I need a helper suitable for me, marriage should reflect who Christ is, people marry for wrong reasons there's absolutely nothing wrong with marriage the problem lies with the individuals partaking in it.

[@sifiso3950]

My brother, you said things the way I see them. People today confuse materialism and God's abundance. Women today have all been brainwashed into believing that point of our existence is the pursue of material opulence and most of them don't have the diligence to obtain it themselves and therefor expect a man to give it to them. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in life, you cannot buy a person's love and loyalty. You can give a woman everything and she can still disrespect you and be disloyal, so it is useless to even try. A lot of men have been brainwash into thinking that by spoiling a woman, you gain her love, but in actual fact you are suppose to spoil as way to show appreciation of her love and loyalty. You can never do enough for a woman who does not love you, so don't even try. You will always be under pressure because you know she can always be taken away from you at anytime by someone willing to give her more. As man, for you to be happy, you need peace of mind more than anything. The wrong woman will damage you psychologically and spiritually, thus so many men take their lives today.

[@LethoHali]

Hooked!

[@notv6357]

How many pipes flush juices into their vaginal opening on their way to age 40 and how it impacts their marriage life later?

[@busiperiwinkle6368]

❤❤❤

[@andystar444]

whats the point to marry when there is no love why would i sign🤣 a contract to risk my assets

[@mphihlengmagoro2957]

The traditional reasons for marriage are no longer the deciding factor.. The definition of a marriage has also changed as people explore more different relationships setups. The shame that came with divorce is falling by the way side.

[@user-tm4mv9cu2h]

How do i change from in community to out of community?

[@EngineerYLShow]

please contact Sister in Law. she assists with the process.

[@vuyonkosi209]

Sex and children is more important than Money in a marriage ‼️ If marriage was about money, then every rich man would have 2 or more wives‼️

[@vuyonkosi209]

Why don't women get married to 2 men at the same time if money is more important than sex ⁉️⁉️