Why narcissists don't like SICK PEOPLE

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@christophervan6966]

In a nutshell: 1. No empathy = no concern. 2. A sick person is of no use to the narcissist. 3. The narcissist detests being inconvenienced.

[@TheMazinoz]

Yes, even sometimes if it's their job!

[@iramsavir5631]

My narc dumped me as soon as I got diagnosed with cancer and shacked up with my replacement within a few months post surgery.

[@TheMazinoz]

@@iramsavir5631 Typical. Be glad they are no longer in your life!

[@shlomimedina3808]

​@@TheMazinozthats can be cause they are sadistic

[@tlotlomatsipa6142]

I experienced a sick narc who came with a mixture of grandiose and victimhood. I did my best to take care of his needs and he would call his family and friends to say I don't care about his health and needs. Also, he'll have discarding moments where he tells me he doesn't need me then come around and want me to do stuff for him. So confusing

[@NarcSurvivor]

If you’re sick, you may need the proper care and attention. Narcissists lack empathy, so they won’t be concerned. Instead, they will just feel like you’re taking the spotlight away from them. They will see your sickness as an inconvenience.

[@Saltine_American]

We already feel like burdens

[@angels3415]

So true 😔

[@KoolT]

​@@Saltine_American I left so I don't I feel ike I'm taking care of me not a SCREAMING rager

[@mitchellesamedy2507]

Yes. They pretend to care and ask how can I help you. Never really help with anything 😂

[@politereminder6284]

I've lived with chronic illness since I was 9, and I grew up in a family full of narcs. As an adult, I am learning to care for myself in defiance of their cruelty. This statement of yours is too true. I woke up to it when I was trying to negotiate with a narcissistic institution head in school who took my request as a competition. While I was explaining my case, she began to explain that _she_ was dying. I asked her, what of? and she had no answer, but she was _sure_ it would happen any day now. All of that just so she could win the suffering contest. 🙄

[@sunnydaye5942]

Nothing lonelier than a relationship with a Narc.

[@jswan312]

So true. You realize you’re just a domestic servant and completely on your own.

[@bobbruce4135]

This describes 99% of relationship in the Far East. The parents teach narcissism to their children (their retirement plan). The children will screw over their spouse to support their parents who never unconditionally love them.

[@VMorgenthaler-yp6yz]

Sunnydaye, you are so wise.

[@warrenbradford2597]

I relate to you, because I feel lonely being in a narcissistic relationship myself. I even told my narcissistic mother that it may be better to alone, because already am alone in this world. She secretly gaslights me and told I will be lonely if I leave her. I still felt lonely being around her as she kept being rude and offensive, no matter what polite and gentle I tried to be with her.😓

[@starrseed2687]

Yup

[@WestCoastProf]

The narcissist will declare that they have a worse illness. The narcissist will always try to one-up me, even in suffering.

[@osmanisildak2448]

that's not true. Narcissists hide when they're sick so no one see them vulnerable.

[@cm1663]

Exactly,I was brought up by a narcissist aunt who made out that the neighbours had it worse,I mean would you believe it😩

[@debbiemerls]

This is my opinion. You can have a cold, they’re dying on pneumonia, you hurt you leg, they’ve dislocated their hip. Jealous of the attention/sympathy the ill person gets, furious that they are not the focus. Of every second of every day…

[@aliciag810]

This! The narcissist thinks sick people pretend for attention, just as they might do. Everything is a competition. And their perfect time to act out victimhood by declaring they will be dead sooner than you, if they are asked for any act of kindness. Maybe only one reason that a narc would ever go no contact on you, is if they are guilt tripping by playing sick or dead! when you are sick or they hear of others' deaths, they show very little emotion or none, or if so, i's playacting. or even anger that it inconvenienced them.

[@elenalatici9568]

Yep.

[@Amanda-cy5il]

It’s really sick when they pretend they are taking care of you in front of other people. They even go around telling everyone how much they do for you when they are doing nothing at all and actually making your life harder.

[@dmcfarlane4976]

Amen!

[@bereal6590]

They act like you should just snap out of it. They don't care how you feel or what's wrong. Total lack of interest

[@SsecicKG]

This is exactly what my ex did and it made me sick to my stomach… his family thought he was taking care of me, luckily they realized it was all a lie.. my mom thought he was, but when she came to visit, she saw the truth, begged me to come back home and she will take care of me, she flat out said my ex is a psychopath and now she knows why I am not getting better.

[@seanrowshandel1680]

Like if you're here because Narcissism Is A Differential Diagnosis

[@cassiebrown9786]

Very, very true, Amanda!

[@melissafreeman7064]

This is why my husband filed for divorce less than two weeks after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He’s just too selfish. Even my 8yo said “Mom, it’s not fair that Dad left you when you needed him most!”

[@noluthandonolwazilushozi94]

I feel you sister… My ex literally broke up with me citing that he couldn’t handle my illness. While of course being a cheater & all round narc ticking all the boxes.

[@adamantiuscloudcat1799]

He did the beat for you. Ypur cancer its probably caused BY HIM and his toxicity.

[@noorgonzalez1076]

2 Corinthians 1:3,4 Revelation 21:3 4 John 5:28 Isaiah 35:5,6 Psalm37:10,11 Psalm 37:29 🙏🏽🕊️❤️

[@noorgonzalez1076]

@@noluthandonolwazilushozi94 💜 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 Psalm 37:10,11 Isaiah 35:5,6 John 5:28 Revelation 21:3,4

[@JohnJKelly-of4dc]

My God....

[@LisaLee__]

Virtual hugs to everyone who is dealing with illnesses and narcissists.

[@laurachiar6086]

A big hug to you, lovely human being! ❤🙏

[@1timeslime971]

Thank you.

[@drina4706]

Hew...I just dodged one a few days ago. Thank the LORD!!!

[@shiny7301]

And to you 🙏♥️

[@robertgoldstein52]

Try having to call these F creatures mother and father ☠️☠️

[@mounaberkia9995]

I remember when i had an accident and the doctors told me that i can't ever do sport again. I Can only walk or swim. The first reaction of my narcissitic ex husband is : i don't need a disabled wife, even thought i wasn't disabled, but that day i understood what it's like to be alone in a relationship so i agreed to divorce. And now i'm happily married to a wonderful person !

[@panoslianos7312]

🙂

[@chantalrodriguez5269]

With all due respect, may I ask why are you still looking up these kind of videos if you already happily remarried? I'm just asking because I'm curious, I'm married to a narcissist right now and I am planning for divorce .

[@mounaberkia9995]

@@chantalrodriguez5269 this is an odd question. So, if i'm happy i can't watch videos about narcissistic people ?!

[@lisaturtle1106]

@@chantalrodriguez5269 she wants to supportive and tell people her story! It’s a good thing❤

[@Dezseray]

❤

[@rubysilver3299]

I got cancer and my narc husband got a girlfriend. Before I found out, he made a big deal to friends and family about how he was helping me in my illness and how he was so scared and sad that I was sick. When I was at my sickest,I could see him looking at me, hoping I’d die. He’s now my ex. Dr. Ramani, you nailed this.

[@michaelhenderson6112]

Fenbendazole, pineapple and garlic in the diet are anticancer supplements. Hope you are well.

[@rubysilver3299]

@@michaelhenderson6112 thank you for the kind suggestions. I’m OK at the moment.

[@abczyx9780]

Sadly, I know the feeling when someone looks at you in pure disgust and hate when you need care and love the most. He’s als an ex now. Which is quite a story, having to go through divorce when in such bad health. Good luck to you Rubysilver!

[@vinista256]

And I’m SURE that the line he used with the new girlfriend was, “I love my wife so much and it’s just tearing me up to see her suffer like this,” and she swooned at what a sensitive, caring person he was. 🙄

[@wasabe591]

❤❤❤❤

[@yellowroses1]

Has anyone else ever experienced this? You're talking to a doctor or other health professional, and they say you may have to go into hospital for treatment. You explain to them that there's no one to help you (eg. to take care of your pets or collect your medication) and they say to you "Oh but there *_must_* be someone!" I find it heartbreaking when that happens. And usually they say it more than once. You realise you are completely alone in the world.

[@janebrown7231]

It's a terrible thing to say to us. We are used to being gaslit by narcissists, and a specialist saying, "But there MUST be somebody there for you!" is another way to gaslight us and make us feel terrible. Another level of that which I have experienced is me explaining that I also have to stay home and look after somebody ELSE. And yes, there's another adult who COULD do it - but he won't. The specialist simply can't comprehend that means I can't go into hospital.

[@yellowroses1]

@@janebrown7231 Absolutely I agree that's it's even more gaslighting. I wish they would train professionals in these issues, it would make so much difference.

[@janebrown7231]

@@yellowroses1 Yes, they really should receive training - and should think before they speak.

[@yellowroses1]

@@janebrown7231 💯

[@saskiadavies111]

Yes! There IS someone! I do have someone I can depend on to harm the animals, sabotage any food I might need, tell people not to come help, watch coldly while I'm on the floor bleeding where my stitches are pulling apart. Absolutely, I've got someone to make sure that no matter how terrifying, scary and painful it already is, they will make me regret getting sick on purpose just to annoy them.

[@gemgirl69]

Sick people often get sympathy, compassion and attention. This is a threat for narcissists.

[@Brownie8986]

They also sometimes end up pretending to be the sick person themselves. I think it's specifically called Munchausen syndrome...think about those awful people who know how people typically respond to sick people and then shave their head to scam their church and GoFundMe lying about having cancer themselves. That is definitely narcissistic behavior

[@corykelley796]

Some narcissists play sick people in real life to get sympathy. And prey on those with energy and kindness to give. No?

[@pennyc11]

​@@corykelley796Yes. They rather play people then do the work themselves. They seriously need attention. But are the last to help.

[@amydrew2907]

Yeah I notice this if their partner is sick all of a sudden they become more sick then their partner.

[@MarkSmith-ho5yc]

​@KetoFattyI agree to a point.I go through the profile and see if there is a high volume of selfies.That usually tells you all you need to know.

[@pennydiebolt5987]

I was so so sick after giving birth when married to my narcissistic ex... I had passed out in the hallway on my way to crawling to the bathroom. When he walked over me when he got up for work looked back and growled "you're pathetic" I'll never forget it! After going to the Dr then hospital we found out I was in complete renal failure....he temporarily changed his tune but couldn't hold on to the facade for long. I have since divorced and live with the love of my life.

[@mayssaqra3311]

😢

[@Dhruv_Dogra]

What a horrible man! Glad you escaped.

[@Csmale]

I'll so sorry he didn't help you.

[@margaretaloucado4308]

I’m divorced 12 years now because the final wake up came after I got out of the hospital with a repeated round of pneumonia and doctors said I (we) had to get rid of the carpet, the dog and remediate the mold… he said ‘why should I do any of that… it doesn’t bother me’. I began packing immediately after 23 years of BS. And I’m happy to say I’m much healthier and happier now😃

[@angelinaesposito3058]

Bravo ! Bravo ! You took Courage Love yourself now . Give Yourself a Abundance of Love EVERY DAY 💜❤💜⚔👑👼

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

We could die and they would not lift a finger.

[@NatalieG427]

@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql No, they wouldn’t but, if you were related to them in any way, they would be trying to see what they could get from all your left belongings. Especially if you had anything of value.

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

@@NatalieG427 they want our stuff! The x narc, within a month of meeting, wanted me to sign over my vehicle. lol

[@aichaaicgq4650]

I bet you are❤

[@jonathanbelanger6574]

They hate when you get sick but as soon as they get sick they think they are entitled to extreme pampering lol

[@detectivemolasses1980]

Yes they sick.

[@marielle99]

True fact

[@baishalideb5565]

exactly

[@AudreyLynn87]

Oh man!! So true!!

[@Lee-y8x]

Exactly 💯

[@genevalawrence801]

The year I left my ex, I found myself one evening at the Walmart with a horrible cough and a fever of 102, buying myself medicine, while my then-spouse who was well and whom I'd asked to help me sat at home on the couch playing with his iPad because "he didn't feel like going out." That experience showed me something important. I started planning my exit.

[@Datb2]

😢

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

I was at home in bed from foot pain. I needed to go to emergency. Instead of taking me, the x narc kicked me out. A couple years later, he landed up being homeless. His next lady kicked him out within a couple days.

[@bioshawna]

Thank goodness you saw the light and got away 😢

[@karlamccullough5319]

I had a similar experience. I was very sick, running a fever, and I couldn't stand up, my head was spinning. I needed water. He came home from work and saw me in bed. I said, "Can you please bring me some water?" He said," Aren't you going to fix dinner?" I said I'm too sick. He left and got on the phone. He called his mother. On the way out the door, he said, "I'm going to my mom's for dinner. " I crawled on my hands and knees to get to the bathroom sink to get water. ~~~~~~~ As bad as that was, my childhood was worse. My narcissistic mother barely kept me alive when I was age 9. I had osteomyelitis and almost died. I couldn't bare weight on my leg, it was too painful. My mother insisted I was faking it and spanked me. I was neglected and told things like, "God was punishing me because I was evil." I am left-handed.

[@wildlifegardenssydney7492]

@@karlamccullough5319 I am so sorry you really barely survived as a child of an abusive, neglectful and narcissistic mother (me too) Both of your comments are so close to what happened to me. No one can really grasp these unbelievable antisocial ways unless they somehow survived it. I hope you got away and thrived ……xo

[@tinkytinky9914]

I was 6 months pregnant giving birth to my daughter (I ended up losing her) and my husband said..."Why are you doing this now? I have to work". I died that day.

[@clarioncall8449]

I’m so sorry.

[@MarilynCS]

Absolutely unbelievable.

[@danielle6718]

I am sorry. Mine is a scum bag narcissist psychopath!!!! I can relate. My son was birth injured by a hospital and mine was nothing but evil and cruel and left me with all responsibility and I was also dying from retained products

[@danielle6718]

I also had a colon cancer scare right after I gave birth he decided to tell me if I had it don’t get chemo or radiation 😂

[@Stardusted1]

I believe you totally. And no matter how many years go by, the shock and bewilderment from those words, the utter pain you feel, is never forgotten.

[@roxyndra]

The second someone minimizes your illness, write them off. They will only continue to make your struggles about them. Surround yourself with people who truly care. 💙 I learned this the hard way. Still healing.

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

How about if they're doctors?

[@dakoderii4221]

That describes many doctors I have seen. Gaslighting and pills that do not help but cause more problems are all they offer.

[@MaryDunford]

​@@rosemaryclarke2348Get another doctor. Stat.

[@vaska1999]

​@@rosemaryclarke2348 Find another doctor. I had to do that.

[@francesbernard2445]

That is such excellent advice. In addition to that I have made up my mind that the second someone minimizes the illness of someone I love I am going to start limiting my time with them as much as I can too.

[@georgiaclapham9204]

I remember when I was a child, I was not "allowed" to be sick, I had to go to school. One time I was sick at school, a teacher took me home in her car, after getting me a library book (I was about eight). I still remember how kind she was. When I had my first baby in New York City, and my husband was away on a long business trip, my mother came to "help". I remember doing everything while she sat and talked to friends on the phone with her feet up, about how she was "helping her daughter". I remember a cousin coming to take her out for a mani-pedi. At one point, I had to go to the dentist, so my mom had to babysit for a couple of hours. She actually talked to my newborn son about how "mommy was abandoning him"!! The night my husband came home from his trip, was the only night my mom cooked dinner. I remember going out in a heavy snow to buy the ingredients and a bottle of wine. When I returned, she told me I had bought the wrong kind of wine. This was always the way it was. This channel has helped me so much. It really helps to put it in context and to know you are not alone.

[@janebrown7231]

You reminded me about my first baby. At one day old, and at home, both grandmothers arrived (uninvited) to visit, telling the world they were "coming to help". Both were narcissists, vying and competing with each other, and with my husband, also a narcissist. All of them refused to cook dinner and decided I should cook for them all, 24 hours after giving birth. I eventually divorced my husband and mother-in-law, but I looked after my mother until her death. She didn't deserve it - and nor did I deserve all the things she inflicted on me.

[@doreenjohnston7672]

I had a daughter in law like this there now divorced. only time git sick she went to doctor but didn’t want to take the children. remember many times she and I banged heads over it. tells my 17 yr old grandson must go to school missed too may days “ only missed 1 Or 2 but yet takes him out of school to go on a trip to see wolfs for her birthday she has never matured in all the time I have know her all about her my grandson is always walking in deep depression at age of 6 his oldest brother died in accident and he was not allowed to grieve. i think mothers like this should be dealt with harshly.

[@Joyful_Mom_]

My mom never came to help with any of my kids when they were newborn’s. She said it wasn’t her baby smh

[@Lolopug9]

Wow, what a story - it’s awful because you’re at your most vulnerable. Sorry. My ex’s whole family visited hospital when my daughter was born and thought it was funny when she cried at being over-handled. When I got home they’d all left the place a mess, dishes overflowing in the sink. I got called a princess for not wanting to cook a dinner party I had nothing to do with organizing the first night. I ended up cleaning, cooking and then staying up in my room with the baby. My husband called me rude and selfish.

[@candy5742]

This is very hurtful.

[@kathanson584]

When I was a little girl and became sick, my narcissistic mother would fly into a red hot rage. It was impossible for a child to understand that she was incredibly lazy and that I was interfering with whatever she had planned for herself that day or week. So many memories like this. She passed away last February and to be candid, I could not care less.

[@bereal6590]

My father was horrendous when I was sick as a kid and he is no better at 80, and im sick again. He would shout and yell if I'm coughed! It was and nightmare. I barely speak to him unless I'm have to and nd im very ill but he never bothers to and how i am. Instead he tells me about his bad back blah blah blah. 4 vacations a year gardens walks goes out, but oh his back is so bad!

[@mmr4882]

Sorry for your troubles. A lot of people clicking on this video have been through similar parents. Choose God, understanding and humility. God bless.

[@youcantsingdumass]

My mother was the same. If I got sick she’d get so angry to have to warm up a can of chicken noodle soup or bring me a box of tissues. One time I had a stomach virus and threw up. Some of it missed the toilet and got on the floor. She scolded me for messing up her clean bathroom and made me clean it up. I always related to the movie “Mommie Dearest” because it was like watching my childhood. They are truly evil people that should never have children.

[@Renee60722]

I don't know how you could have cared. She drained all that from you.

[@kathanson584]

@@youcantsingdumass Like soup and tissues are actual work - they acted like they just built a stairway to heaven. Shame on your mother for making you clean up - she took the chance of you getting sick on the floor all over again too - I swear they are from another planet. Be well.

[@IgN5P]

When I got seriously ill from a serious auto immune disorder, I finally saw the true face of some people on my life. The disdain even a few family members have is shocking.

[@cassy3758]

Same 🫶🏽🔆 Keep good friends around and pray lots. Keep faith 😊

[@SinderellaScapegoat]

Shaming you for your health issues (which narcissist is partially responsible) saying, "if I had your problem,I would have done something by now" SINISTER

[@Georgian1717]

I’m so sorry.

[@dawnl4133]

This happened to me when I was diagnosed with CVID and required IVIG every 4 weeks for the remainder of my life. I recently had a massive surgery requiring someone to be present as I could not get myself up. My husband couldn’t be bothered to be here after less than two days. I had to endure pain beyond what I thought I could, and get myself up, and get my kids up and fed and to school.

[@loris2525]

I had the same thing happen to me. A woman i worked with said that she wished that she could stay home as much as i did. I told her that i wished that i still made the money that i used to and not have to stress any more and that ifmit were possible, id gladly trade places with her.

[@mandypp5522]

This happened to me when i was pregnant and undiagnosed cancer. Looking back im surprised i survived. He was chasing other women, when I asked why his response was, "what do u expect, look how sick u are". Im 2 months free of him now and my life keeps getting better, daily.

[@paulgoogol2652]

It's sad but makes sense in evolutionary sense for men to look for healthy partners just like women like to have wealthy partners. I'm neither so yay go me. Hope you got better.

[@mandypp5522]

@@paulgoogol2652 yeah I did thanks. I do understand what you are saying in looking for a healthy partner. I don't understand why I got treated like that when I needed help the most, after he already made me his partner. I was stuck in the delusion he created for me for 14 years.

[@LaidleyWyrm]

​@@paulgoogol2652 This claim is so stupid, maybe to low IQ men or women "it makes sense" since that would made sense if we acted as animals, but as conscious human beings we make conscious decisions it's not "evolutionary". Anyways, @mandypp5522 you are strong and I'm glad you are finally free. I like to think that at least one of the good things that come from having to deal with a narcissists is that some of us can now identify them and take our distance.

[@kristie3327]

@@paulgoogol2652yes it makes sense inevolutionaryterms but humans being have a moral compass (and compassion and empathy) that differentiates us from mere animals. Absolutely no excuse for that kind of trash behavior.

[@laetitialogan2017]

Good woman...

[@JustaNobody-j8x]

Narcissists don’t like it when people get sick yet they don’t realize they were the ones who caused them to be sick. They’re always looking to blame others and never take accountability for their own actions.

[@tdevry]

Absolutely.

[@aliceroberts1980]

Actually sometimes my disgusting narcissistic husband thinks it funny that he made me sick makes him feel powerful that kind of monsters these people are

[@june756]

Yes, I used to feel so much stressed sometimes even getting up from bed used to feel like a hurdle and when I used to feel sick he used to tell me how I am being a burden,how I am worrying my parents and him for no reason and that I should listen and follow all the things he said cause he is telling me for my own good.. My relationship wasn't long term it lasted for 1yr yet I can't get over all these till now

[@Survivin2Thrivin]

​@aliceroberts1980 DITTO! I was going to tell my account here but you beat me to it. Yup...there are those that inflict the illness then have NO EMPATHY, COMPASSION or HUMANITY towards us when we're disabled from their malevolence. Very dangerous people. The type to run away from. Stay no contact & gray rock til able to get away. It's 😈.

[@kereokie]

they dont seem to realize things will always be out of their control. and rather than accept that and work with it, they have some sort of narcissistic tantrum and what not.

[@cynthiavining4153]

I've also noticed a narcissist will do something to "top" whatever illness you have. I've noticed this in 2 people before. It seems so insane for someone to create their own drama to cancel your genuine illness, but it happens.

[@toniesedrick691]

Their called cowards.

[@SuperAngelic5]

Yes so true

[@feministmermaid4769]

My ex was ALWAYS sick exactly when I was, developing headaches when I had them, etc etc just to avoid me being the actually-sick one. Anytime I took medicine, he'd take the same.

[@gbdchannel2252]

@@feministmermaid4769 Ditto. They have to beat you at everything.

[@Jinger17]

My Mother-in-law did this. I was sitting in a hospital bed a couple days post delivery with a bladder infection spreading to My kidneys. She called to talk about herself while on a road trip, and to tell Me she also sometimes got back pain. 🙄 That was when I truly knew she was a narcissist.

[@roxanne83]

100% accurate. I was able to see who my husband of 17 years was when I became sick. Such a cruel, vile, heartless person. Divorced him while I was still sick and have been through hell, but I will never look back

[@Georgian1717]

Thank God Angel ❤. You will be ok.

[@changjuihsien]

You’re so brave. And strong.

[@bobbilynnsmith5146]

It's the lack of empathy that just astonishes and hurts.

[@susanlisson7066]

Absolutely!

[@selinaogorman8380]

It does hurt because there lack of empathy won’t help you be close to them and bond and have attachments with you or anyone else they don’t do any of this it so heartbreaking the narcissist you care about won’t care about you the same way or at all.

[@Vashti0825]

It's a gut wrenching wake up call. That was the beginning of the end.

[@IvonLopezArt]

I’m going through this after a stroke with my narcissistic family. They didn’t even come to the hospital or call. I’m left to fend for myself through these trying times and recovery.

[@gertrudewest4535]

When I was 8 years old, my mother heard me coughing in the night and came into my room, sat on the edge of my bed and then administered cough syrup in what seemed like a kind and loving way. As soon as I was done swallowing, she slapped me in the face as hard as she could and said, “That’s for getting sick “. It’s been like that with her all my life. I am one screwed up person when it comes to personal relationships…can’t do it. However, been finding a lot of inner peace since I went no contact 3 years ago. Thanks Dr. Ramani.

[@recoveringsoul755]

OMG!!! I am so sorry. Nobody should be treated like that

[@m.maclellan7147]

Oh my word. I am sorry you were raised by that awful psycho. I truly believe my mother should have been locked up years ago, as well. SO difficult having a Narc as a mother. I also went no contact.

[@Z1nny]

😢 hugs ❤

[@doristorresphd]

Wow, that's awful. Sending you a big virtual hug. 💖

[@almita7624]

It breaks my heart just reading this!😢. May you find healing!! 🙏

[@abby_reviews]

I learned very quickly how narcissists feel about sick people when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 32. At the time I was newly married, raising our two-year-old, and without a car. My family demonstrated to us on no uncertain terms that my cancer was a giant inconvenience. If they ever made the smallest effort to attend to our basic needs, after being begged for help, they would never let us forget how much they had supposedly sacrificed/were sacrificing to do less than the bare minimum. My Mom ridiculed me for kissing my baby early in the morning before surgery because it "might wake her up," and six months following surgery and the beginning of my surviviorship we were not invited to Christmas because picking us up would have, in the words of my grandmother, "inconvenienced my mom.". In many ways, cancer was the best gift the Universe could have given me. It laid bare all the ugly abuse I wasn't able to see before. Christmas 2019 was the beginning of my no contact with my entire family, and I haven't looked back since. Only narcissists could justify treating close family with a life-threatening illness like that. Put it this way: people are kinder to STRANGERS with cancer. My reality is painful but I can't ignore the truth.

[@firstsisterJML1330]

Oh yes! I actually said that to my narc... that he was kinder to strangers than he was to me. If I had been a no one calling in to his insurance agency with some sob story, he would have paid my premiums for me. Not for me though!

[@laetitialogan2017]

Dear Lord..thank God you pulled through..certainly an eye opener...

[@jdsciano]

❤️💔❤️

[@AmbientAsc]

This is all true! It makes you realise how they can't even just ask how you are and sit with you. I'm thankful to the strangers that helped me during cancer!

[@pambrown8697]

My mother was one, stop seeing her when I realized...

[@cbsikorski]

My narc ex-husband completely ignored me for 5 days when I was violently ill vomiting non-stop and massive stomach pain. I was a wreck, and he never checked on me. Total eye-opener.

[@Georgian1717]

It will get worse. Leave while you still have strength.

[@TheDonBoomer]

Dad hated me as a kid, got cancer at 24 my mom asked me to move in with them until treatment was done. He didn’t go to 1 appointment and was extremely nasty to me when it was just us 2 in the house. After treatment I moved back out, stopped talking to him and 2 years later my mom left him moved in with me and now has a place of her own. Me and her would watch your videos and everything you say describes my dad… you’re doing the lords work 🙏

[@eveallusion]

I'm sorry. I hope you have a long happy life without him

[@kyliestorm_music]

Yes yr just a inconvenience. Not part of the narrative

[@extra_ice_girl]

I am so happy your mom got out and that you're doing better!

[@GabrielleTollerson]

wow what the hell,what a sorry ass piece of crap!! I hope you're doing ok 😞💔 You deserve so much better!

[@GabrielleTollerson]

@@kyliestorm_musicwhat?

[@LynnsYouTube]

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus and this is absolutely true. Narcissists dismiss chronic diseases, especially things they can't see as much, like autoimmune diseases. And my narcissistic father was a doctor.

[@dvawva5197]

I have rheumatoid arthritis. When I started hurting back in 2018, my family vehemently denied that my pain was real. I don’t know why it mattered to them so much to discredit my experience; but it did.

[@audreydoyle5268]

​@@dvawva5197 because pain and victimhood is "special" to them. They see it as a diminishment of their own personal suffering when others have the human experience of suffering chronic pain too.

[@LynnsYouTube]

@@dvawva5197 I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's really painful. Have you ever wondered if your disease came from being in a family with narcissists? I always felt like that, and then many years later heard about the book, "The Body Keeps the Score," by Bessel Van der kolk.

[@grandmakiller]

@@LynnsKZbinNot sure that’s an appropriate recommendation considering what OP said about their family. A lot of ‘physical illness is caused by trauma’ books like this imply that a change in psychological attitude is what is needed. That’s not helpful for people managing chronic illness like autoimmune illnesses. It’s also not particularly helpful when one is suffering from a chronic illness to trace back the cause from 30 years ago or whenever as that doesn’t reverse a disease and can appear to be blaming the individual for not being g able to cure themselves because they are ‘resistant’ to facing their trauma. Bear in mind many people here will have been gaslighted by their close narcissistic people in this exact way.

[@dampergoldenrod4156]

​@@grandmakillerthere are people working in psychiatry and psychology touting this idiocy that pain is caused by stress or depression . all they are doing is hurting people yet at the same time when people are in physical pain you'll find people out there who will do nothing to help and will not even let a person talk about their pain or disabilities or limitations.

[@racebannon96]

Years ago, my appendix went bad. I ended up in the hospital for emergency surgery. I was stuck in hospital for 3 days because the infection was so bad. My wife got extremely mad at me. I was unable to take care of our kids. She dropped our kids off at some friend's of ours home. When I returned home, she woke me up screaming at me that I don't appreciate anything she does. I got up and threw the pain pills in the garbage. Then I started on cooking lunch for everyone. About a year later, she left us for her boyfriend and demanded a divorce. Her leaving was the best thing that had happened to me. I got the divorce done in 5 months. She would spend the next 8 years retaliating against the kids and me.

[@doobybro1207]

😮😢damn!

[@slicker1070]

She’s a monster 👿 Consider it a blessing that she left!!! I’m so sorry you had to endure that 😢 Narcissistic fools only care about themselves (my ex husband demonstrated this time and time again).

[@duvessaledoux834]

I’m so sorry you went through that. Wishing you the best 💖

[@katherineraquelle1930]

My narcissistic mother caught Covid last year.. and when she was down and out as her adult daughter I refused to take care of her as she was horrible to me during my childhood (2000-2012). When she had Covid my enabling father took care of her and was subject to her abuse too. By the time he caught Covid, my narc mother had recovered and went back to her old nasty ways. I’m leaving her in the nursing home. She threatened to leave me at a shelter when I was 15 in 2010 and then sided with my bullies.

[@rchi3906]

Bro , much respect , u dealt with the devil and won , Ve Con Dios Mi Amigo

[@amybe3]

100% 😢coming from the hospital after giving birth to our daughter, I went straight to bed because I was exhausted after a traumatic birth. First I changed my newborn's diaper lay down with her and started to breastfeed 🤱 and soon enough I was falling asleep when he said to me: “Useless lazy, get up, the bathroom is smelly. Get up and clean it.” bare in mind I was the hospital for four days so he was the one who got it dirty. That's just one example, I went through so much

[@eresunaestrellahermosa]

Oh my God 😢

[@dipakjoshi2341]

O my God 😢

[@mtngirlbunny9290]

Get out of that relationship....not safe!

[@anka2112]

I am so sorry to hear. I have a a bit of similar experience before and after child birth, during the first year after birth or when I was sick or so. It continued later on, but with different forms. I waisted too many year of my life waiting for things to change. It never did, he was no willing to. Once I understood that, I left the relationship. How old is your daughter now? How are you doing? ❤ Send you good energy!

[@shez1270]

I hope you're out of that

[@DominiqueFrancon]

A few years ago I had breast cancer and a mastectomy. I truly believe that the breast cancer was caused by the stress of living with a narcissist. My narc husband drove me to my follow up appointment because I wasn’t allowed to drive yet. I wasn’t healing properly because I wasn’t resting like I should. The doctor told my husband that I wasn’t supposed to be doing housework. I was just supposed to be sitting on the couch watching TV. Of course my husband knew what my restrictions were, but didn’t lift a finger to help.

[@ausredidai4822]

I hope he is gone and leaves you alone ):

[@maryshanley329]

What a terrible situation to find yourself in. It is my offspring who act like this. And I don’t know why.

[@recoveringsoul755]

But if they've got so much as a self induced tummy ache, hangover, any little injury, they'll expect tender loving care from you as if they're all that exists in the universe Its painful, but good that you learned this now. I bet he was attentive INSIDE the hospital . Either to make the staff believe you'd have care when you got home, or to prevent you from telling anyone what really goes on behind closed doors

[@dagmarheinrich269]

​@@maryshanley329 Same Here!

[@northstar5919]

Watch Gabor Mate explaining why people get sick. Very helpful.💜

[@nikkinorton8310]

Oh, this is absolutely an issue! As a nurse, this is what I have observed with narcissistic caregiving: Shaming them for bladder or bowel incontinence Shaming them for falling after repeated requests for toileting Reporting their incontinence to others for the purpose of gaining sympathy, or embarrassing, or making themselves out to be a hero, or as an excuse to put them in a nursing home. If the main goal is money from the sick person they may actively get a POA. They may use fear tactics to get the POA signed. Please don't think a narcissist will take care of you if you're sick. They are going to take advantage of your vulnerability.

[@claireburkus8497]

Amen!!

[@kathleenworkman2038]

10+ years into surviving stage 4 cancer the total discard is becoming final. The process has been brutal.

[@annap9441]

This is awful 😣

[@Lola-mt1ne]

I am also a nurse-retired now.

[@alanwaterworth6464]

precisely this- I´ve witnessed all of this and more with my sister over the last 3.5 years. First with my father dying from cancer during the pandemic, and now my mother. I wish I had known what Narcissism was before we did the POA.

[@JustaNobody-j8x]

A lot of narcissists would also shame you when you are sick by saying stuff along the lines of “I was once more sick than you were and I still pushed myself to work and get the job done.” It’s like they expect us to be immune and superhuman so they can get us to keep doing things for them. They look at sickness as being weak.

[@katherineraquelle1930]

My narc mom did that while I was growing up. EVERYTIME I got sick, she’d always yell saying “Her hair is always too wet.” Or “her body is always too cold.”

[@Crisjola]

Oooof. Yes, I’ve heard that before. I really believe it’s much more just old tendencies from a malignant narc mother (my grandmother) which is just my own mom and I both trying to sort out our behaviors and co-dependency while basically have the evil woman within a stone’s throw of our front door. Also, it’s usually almost like those narc tendencies are walled up somewhere until the stressors on my mom get to be too much and the walls crumble and then I’m expected to have provided far more than the love and support of a daughter-been basically told that because of my father, and the rest of her family, it’s my job to fill those roles because I am not narcissistic like they are. But am in constant pain from some seriously untreated (thanks to a narc _doctor_ ) bone and joint disorders so my own grips on responding in non-aggro ways (not taking the bait) are usually very thin. I usually have to just wait it out, wait for the switch to flip, and then carefully go back and see where we are. It hasn’t remotely helped my self asteeme about not being a burden, especially when I’ve been told I _am_ one unless I fill those other love sources that, at the family level I had _no_ power over because I didn’t _exist_ . But… I’m getting there.

[@angelacahill9460]

Yes. One upmanship.

[@malaikavida]

Yes

[@monongahelacats]

My ex used that phrase on me all the time.

[@kathybrem880]

You are so right!! My husband had zero empathy with each of my cesarean sections. Wanted, you know what, right away when my doctor said a minimum of six weeks! I refused and he was nasty about it. That behavior is exactly how he always behaved!! Lastly, I broke my hip last year and walked around on it for two weeks because he was so ‘helpless’. Even after my doc told me to go to ER, I HAD TO DRIVE MYSELF! Well, he’s gone now and I’m a very happy widow!

[@NicholasBartlett-tx7co]

I never understood why my Mother would pretend I wasn't ill whenever I was sick as a child. Years later when the penny dropped about her narcissism it all became clear.

[@Me-xoxoz]

it just dawned on me right now watching this.

[@Hadtoleave15]

I remember when my sister was in about 1st grade and one morning she told Mom she didn’t feel well. Mom told her to “get on the bus and you’ll feel better!” She got on the bus and threw up. The bus driver was not happy with my mother. She not very empathetic with anyone’s illness and still she was better to have with me than it was to have my narc husband during bc recovery. I didn’t know about narcs at the time of any of those situations.

[@MegaDiva1999]

Same here. She actually resented it. Ofcourse I realise that it's because it took the attention from her

[@RainbowSunshineRain]

Same for me …

[@vv9452]

I actually won an award in grade school for “perfect attendance “. The “joke” in my house was if I was bleeding from my eyeballs, I was “going to school”.

[@donovangray4246]

My ex partner took me to the doctor for my surgery, told everyone how worried they were for me, told everyone how they would wait on me hand and foot and sacrifice anything for my healing to happen. Then we get home and they did nothing for me because, No One was WATCHING what they actually did. It was all for show and the admiration of others who believed they would take care of me. I knew at that point the relationship was a big lie.

[@Earthether]

exaclty

[@michele.mia7741]

That is a difficult place to be. You were alone , I am sorry that this person that you trusted was not worthy of you.

[@GoodnightJLH]

This is exactly what I’ve experienced.

[@catzska]

I feel for you. I made the mistake of telling my Narcissistic Mom I had breast cancer. She blamed me for having breast cancer, shamed me, on the morning of my surgery which she demanded to go with me she decided to eat in front of me knowing full well I was going into surgery and obviously could not eat, she rubbed in my face how her food was so wonderful, she claimed she would take care of me afterwards however did nothing except scream at me and be abusive. This was years ago and before I knew what a Narcissist was. I learned to not share anything with my Mom and I rarely speak to her. She has told me from a young age I ruined her life, she hates me and what a worthless person I am in her opinion. My sister is also a Narcissist and I have no relationship with her either. She was also very abusive to me growing up. Sadly we don’t get a choice of being born into an abusive family. The good news is we do have a choice as to if we want to exclude them from our lives. I realize it is painful and can be challenging. I noticed how much better my life has been without them in my life. The rare times I have spoken to my Mom it triggered me and woke me up to remind myself I don’t deserve this abuse. Nobody does. I am deeply sorry for your experiences. We each deserve better. ❤

[@donovangray4246]

@@catzska thank you 😊

[@acordaro]

Such a painful realization. My ex narc husband left me with our 3 year old toddler to go to Florida for vacation. I knew I didn't feel well, so I didn't go. I was ultimately admitted to the hospital for a collapsed lung, toddler with my mom, alone in the hospital.....and he DID NOT return from his Florida fishing trip until it was over. This was the beginning of the end; the moment when I knew. Thank you for this and all your videos! You've helped tremendously on mine and my daughter's healing path. 💖✨🏹

[@KoolT]

They have the jock brain syndrome and you are a fishing widow. All over the coastline. So sorry.

[@violetamethyst1186]

I am so glad you had your mom to help with your daughter and I am so sorry you went through that. 💜

[@heidimartin5070]

I’ve experienced the same thing. Sadly, I alone in this country and I can’t rely on him at all. I’m afraid of his anger and aggression.

[@vivalila123]

That is horrendous! You deserve to be treated so much better! Glad you got rid of him. May you and your daughter find true peace and happiness 💜

[@acordaro]

I am with a wonderful man now. Not a narcissist, addict or bipolar (the Triumvirate of my childhood). I am a generational cycle breaker and I refuse for my daughter to have the same "programming" and to choose unavailable partners. I'm so happy that I'm in and can model a healthy, loving, reciprocal relationship with an amazing partner. Finding my light and loving her unconditionally are some of the greatest gifts! I wish for healing, love and connection for all of us. ✨

[@LinkDID]

My mother abandoned my father when he had lung cancer and when I was taking care of him, she demanded I cook and clean and do everything for her just like I was for my dad who was going through concurrent chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She was and still is so narcissistic that she holds it against me that I paid more attention to my dying father than she got while I was taking care of him while she ran around shopping and cheating on him. She resented both him and me for asking for help 1 day a week. I was living full time with my father, moved into the basement, and took care of him for 8 months before he passed. I can confirm narcissistic people hate the sick and are envious of the care and attention the sick get that detracts from feeding her own bottomless insecurities.

[@margaretd.2490]

How kind of you to be there for your Dad despite your mother's cold heart. I know your Dad was incredibly thankful.

[@clarioncall8449]

You were fortunate to have had that time with your father before he passed.

[@yorocco1]

My family left me to die. Haven’t spoken to any of them in 7 years. I’m grateful that my cousins started to see through it and ask questions. I told the truth. I’m so tired of covering up for those abusers. :(

[@megminor13]

Sounds familiar

[@ra933]

What happend that you nearly died, if you wanna share your story ? I hope you're fine now

[@brendastein404]

I find that statement extremely disturbing ~ hope that you are in a much better place now and have no contact with your abusers… I send Love and Light.❤

[@MC-342]

❤❤❤❤

[@DOSRetroGamer]

Sounds like some serious Hansel and Gretel shit

[@doristorresphd]

When you’re sick, you turn into the biggest inconvenience to a narcissist. Prepare for the unexpected, because the only thing you can be sure to expect from them is little to nothing. 💪🏼 Your advice is spot on, Dr. Ramani.🙏🏼❤️

[@deniseclaeys8295]

When I was diagnosed with 3C breast cancer. I asked my partner to please try to work less so we could spend more time together. Instead, my partner hired our unemployed friend to help, and I was in charge of managing that person. The "helper" had epilepsy, yet it was her job to drive me to appointments. Needless to say, I drove myself to appointments...and learned to live with a flying monkey in my home. Naturally, my partner worked more than ever. I was discarded 5 years later- when it became apparent that I would not die and leave my estate.

[@doristorresphd]

@@deniseclaeys8295 I'm sure that was a terrible experience, but I'm glad to hear you're still going strong and surely you're much better off without the narc. Sending hugs 💖💖

[@deniseclaeys8295]

28 seconds ago @doristorresphd Thank you for your kind comment- and the virtual hug! It took a long time to understand what had happened, and start to recover from it all. It has been a struggle on many levels, but today I am very grateful to be feeling strong. When I backslide, I remind myself what a crazymaking nightmare it would have been to go through covid with my ex. That sets my mind straight every time.

[@doristorresphd]

@@deniseclaeys8295 yes, you got this!! 🙌🏼✨💕

[@realigninglife]

I feel so seen. When I was 12, I separated my shoulder and fractured my elbow in two places. I told my mom I was an excruciating pain and she didn't believe me. The next morning my arm was triple its normal size. On the way to the emergency room she screamed at me that the doctor would be angry with her and why didn't I tell her it was so bad the night before? In the emergency room I remember the doctor getting angry with her and asking her that very question. I'll never forget falling on my sword and telling the doctor that I told my mom "it didn't hurt it all last night." I had to be in bed for 2 weeks with my arm over my head, it was so swollen - it couldn't be casted. The entire time, my mother brought food to me and I can still remember the nastiness in her voice asking me if I was "enjoying being waited on hand and foot" and "didn't it make me happy to see her have to do this." I died that day. I'm 61 and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

[@misspat7555]

I never realized how self-centered my mother was until I ended up trying to raise my son in her house after escaping an abusive marriage. Her lack of concern for his needs any time it conflicted with her convenience forced me to see what I never could when it regarded my own needs. ❤️‍🩹

[@drivethruabortion280]

How did her life turn out?

[@realigninglife]

@@drivethruabortion280 She is very smart and very mean. She has another husband now who enables her. My little brother is the golden child, although I'm sure he must feel more like a captive. It's sad that we grew up with no real parental relationship; it just took me 50 years to realize it before I stopped trying Honestly, an abusive parent withholds their love as a manipulation to get you to do something they want. Even after all that, I worry about her. She's 85. I don't know about everyone, but my child's wish was just for my mother to love me and see me. The healing is understanding that some people don't have the capacity and it can't ever happen.

[@basiltheyorkipoo4303]

​@@realigninglifeim the shame of the family and my brother is golden boy

[@exaudi33]

My alcoholic narcissist mother to a T. Thanks for sharing and glad you survived.

[@ohdarling6657]

i got into a motorcycle acident 2months ago, broke both legs and had an exposed fracture, when my mom came to the hospital to see me the first thing she said was abot how she couldn't be leaving her job to visit me because i wasnt a minor anymore. Now i'm going no contact and she is trying her best to make my younger brothers hate me. abusers will never change.

[@emjaydark2811]

Both legs??!!! Wow. i broke my ankle 18 months ago and I appreciate the challenge you are facing. I hope you have some help from somewhere.

[@ohdarling6657]

@@emjaydark2811 thank you so much from the kind words. My husband and my in laws are my real familly and took great care of me, now it has been 6months already and i am pretty much normal besides the knee pain i get sometimes and how weak my leg muscles became (working on strengtening them!). Things really had been a challange, but it got better, at least it was good for one thing, i always thought my parents "loved me but in their own way" now i have learned that nascisist can only ever love themselfes, and it is unhealthy for us to expect something diferent. I really hope your ankle is better by now and can imagine how much of a challange it was as well, i remember how terrible it was to loose my ankle mobility and to deal with the pain and bloating that ocured. Wishing you all the best

[@treasuretrovel3816]

Hopefully you will be able to enjoy remaining no contact when she becomes older and infirm. Narcs don't tend to accumulate loyal friends who will take care of them so she will no doubt be alone. They make their death bed so let them lie in it alone, bitter and seething with anger.

[@childoflight389]

Wow. Thats cold. Sorry.

[@Natalia-lx6yt]

Sorry to Tell You this but You dont have a mother You have a "birth delivery person "and thats it. Sorry about it and I hope You feel truly loved and internalize it

[@BeachJumper]

I was in a very bad car accident and woke up in the ER screaming, my husband at the time came from work and took one look at me, said "How are you doing kid" and sat down to do his crossword puzzle in the chair next to my bed and didn't say anything further nor look at me. I was bleeding and he was happily doing his puzzle. It was in that moment I realized he had a serious mental problem.

[@lesiapersimmon7547]

Wow 😢

[@puneetkaur13]

It's like not able to feel the extreme pain someone right infront of them is in. Dead soul. 💔 It's a sad state for both parties. The wounded person suffers physical pain & heart pain as they receive the shock of their lives. & the one solving puzzle is unaware that they have something big lacking that makes a human human. Even animals feel it when other animals / humans around them are in pain & need extra care. :(

[@Georgian1717]

Yes. They are not normal. I hope you are healed and free of this man.

[@amcurtis1]

I remember once when I had foot surgery and my wife did nothing to care for me. I cleaned the house before hand, I grocery shopped. I looked after her pets. A few days after surgery I got yelled at for the litter boxes not being clean. Apparently I had wrongly assumed that being on crutches and not weight bearing meant my wife could help with some of the housework. I’m so glad to be free of that now.

[@juliechristianson8009]

Thank God. The horribleness of these people never ceases to amaze

[@camiladancedance1003]

She is horrible

[@allentempleton2429]

The sad thing is that they always control the narrative to make everyone think they are the victim or the hero no matter how sick their partner is while actually doing next to nothing.

[@weylandyutani9622]

Were there no red flags before u married her?

[@allentempleton2429]

@weylandyutani9622 There absolutely were but it was a long time ago and I was a totally ignorant ,over sexed, young man. The signs she showed were fairly minor compared to the monster she became but her mother was a raging narcissist from the day i met her. She hated her mother but eventually turned into her and worse.

[@aewalker59]

I grew up with narcissists in my family. I harbored the same fantasy that somebody would care if I became incapacitated. The time came when I had major surgery on my right foot and was off work for five months. My brother took me to my doctor's appointments, but that was pretty much it. I was on my own and I live alone. My mother started giving me grief for not driving an hour to visit her since I was off work. Apparently, not being able to walk or drive didn't make any difference. My eyes were open to reality during that time. I moved out of state and never looked back. Best move ever.

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

It is sad that it takes something major for our eyes to be opened. I am glad you are better!

[@dontbelongherefromanother]

Narcs lack empathy

[@rebeccav7555]

My narcissistic stepfather took my mother (who had been doing chemotherapy for more than a year) on an international trip. All medical professionals said “You can’t travel! You have no immune system!” but when she told him the doctor said it could kill her, he gave her the silent treatment. She was so afraid of disappointing him that she went. She died of an infection less than a month later. He had a new girlfriend within weeks.

[@Aisha.Ricci005]

People are insane!!!!

[@annarowe8459]

😔🙏💖

[@jemm9663]

How awful😔

[@traceycrawford9938]

I’m so sorry. This is a perfect example of Narcissistic abuse.

[@thandiweluluphiri5]

Wow this is the sickest thing I have read in a while 😢😢😢

[@HomoSeal]

If there's one good thing contracting Crohn's disease did for me, it was helping me to realize that my narcissistic partner was a TERRIBLE person to have in a crisis. It forced me to confront the idea of spending the rest of my life with a man who constantly complained about me being sick, who downplayed my symptoms, complained about all my medications, and doctor's appointments, and the time I had to take off work, and the foods I wasn't able to eat. He hated EVER having to be the strong one in our relationship and saw my illness as a threat to HIS sense of security. So even though I was sick, and taking care of myself was harder than it had ever been before, I broke up with him. Not once - even on my worst day - have I ever been sorry that he's gone.

[@SherryWilson-dk7bo]

Prayers and blessings for you, so happy that you are so strong, keep going ❤🙏🙂

[@atlanticalilly]

You give me courage. Bless u 🙏😊

[@brynne77]

Good for you! Not many people seem to have courage to say no to someone toxic in their life.

[@marcielizabeth7425]

You're amazingly strong! May this condition be healed as you have more peace in your body.

[@RQsuperglue]

I honestly could have written this post. I tell people what a blessing my Crohn's ended up being. 16yrs and 3 kids later, I put in my time. Best decision i ever made was to leave

[@Askalott]

This describes my mom perfectly. I deal with chronic illness, and my mom always acts like I’m exaggerating my debilitating symptoms. She recently got sick with the flu, and in perfect narcissistic fashion, she acted like it was the end of world. She talked about how uncomfortable she was, and how fatiguing it was to simply walk up the stairs. I deal with symptoms like that on a daily basis, but I would never be permitted the same pity party. I have to just suck it up. And this is my own mother. It’s sickening. It’s quite an empty feeling when your own mom doesn’t care that you’re ill.

[@janebrown7231]

That's crap. And very familiar. My son has severe chronic illness, since childhood. His father has never believed his diagnosis. (It's genetic and he won't admit his role in it). He doesn't believe my son has to rest. He even kidnapped him and sent him to boot camp for lazy boys, where his health was put in extreme danger. When that didn't work, he blamed me. I didn't even know where my son was, but somehow my ex thinks I sabotaged his perfect solution. Malignant narcissists are in a world of their own.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

I'm in the same boat. Autoimmune, invisible disability. Narcs are pretty ableist ... they deny you have a disability so they can justify not giving you empathy and care.

[@lordfreerealestate8302]

@@janebrown7231 I'm so sorry that happened. I have chronic illness, too, and a lot of us are mislabeled as "lazy" by ableists.

[@janebrown7231]

@@lordfreerealestate8302 Thank you for your empathy. I too have chronic illness, and I absolutely agree with you. There is no understanding at all of what exhaustion means to us. "Oh right, I'm feeling tired too..." "Get a good night's sleep, you'll be fine in the morning..." 😡 And the worst one for me: "Why can't you book for the concert in 2 weeks' time? What do you mean, you don't know if you will be well? Stop dithering, you just have to commit!" 😡 😡 😡 I bet you've heard all the old clichés, just as I have. Such a low level of understanding in the general population, but also amongst families. 😔

[@nux2k]

MY EVERYDAY LIFE!

[@May54321]

Narcissists: 1. Minimize or deny the existence of your serious illness 2. Do not call or ask questions of healthcare providers if you are hospitalized or incapacitated even if they are medical POA ;they don’t care what the medical staff does- which can lead to medical errors, worsening of condition, even death 3. Will not visit you in hospital/care home unless it is public/in front of a group/ on social media Etc 4. Can make medical decisions that hasten an incapacitated person’s demise based on what is best for the narcissist- not the sick person 5. Will fault a chronically ill person for causing their own illness 6. Will focus on self-pleasure activities when the sick person most needs them 7. With multiple narcissists in a family, the sick person becomes the “hot potato” that nobody wants to take responsibility for

[@rosiemcking72]

Spot on!!!

[@infinityexpression5519]

"5. Will fault a chronically ill person for causing their own illness " 100%.... she has born only healthy children... the rest is your fault.

[@janelsimpson1912]

I see you met my family

[@wildlifegardenssydney7492]

So well said/written 🎯every point!

[@sheilajstorms]

This is why my medical directives state that my entire family is FORBIDDEN to receive any of my medical information, visit me in care settings, or make ANY decisions. Only my husband and two best friends are empowered to make decisions. And still I fear some future healthcare professional will cluelessly give them access one day.

[@denisebradford5241]

Years ago I had to have surgery to remove cysts and tumors, which had a chance of being cancerous. No one in my family cared. My dad, a politician, and my mother, had left the country some months before (but still a short plane trip away) and said, during calls, "You're over reacting and worrying too much." I was alone in pre-op surrounded by people with caring families. A reverend stopped in pre-op and comforted me. Luckily, I was not cancerous, but I was told that having children was no longer feasible. Family didn't care.

[@brandyporter1141]

This is exactly what happened when I got cancer. My husband was never really there for me on a day to day basis but I really thought he would be if something like this happened. Instead he raged because I couldn’t work and I ended up going to all of my treatments alone. Everyone explained it away saying he just didn’t know how to handle his emotions about seeing me sick. I couldn’t explain it until I found out about Narcissism. It’s comforting, heartbreaking, and validating when you finally know what’s going on, and that others have experienced this too.

[@michelledargan]

Interesting how so many people are ready to explain away their unkind and unempathetic behaviour, I've experienced similar. All power to you.

[@iramsavir5631]

Same thing happened to me. Not once did he drive me to my appointments. Only reason he dropped me off at the hospital was so he didn't look bad, but he didn't even stick around. He felt inconvenienced because he had a trip scheduled and didn't want to postpone . Heartbreaking. 😢

[@brandyporter1141]

@@iramsavir5631 I’m so sorry

[@alonzomosley7]

Just horrible

[@cbg769]

Well said. ❤

[@burninghair]

Being sick is what ultimately led me to leave my ex after 20 yrs. I almost died twice in 2020, which left me in a very weakened state- frail and my mind a little addled. He looked like a wonderful caregiver in front of the doctors, but behind the scenes he'd rile me up to hysterics, particularly because I was easily confused. He was jealous of the care I received from other people and couldn't stand the fact that I couldn't do what I did before- which was cater to him. The underlying push for me was- I didn't want to die with this man abusing me to my very last breath. I took my dog, my clothes and my computer, leaving everything else behind... started life (almost 50 yrs old) all over again with absolutely nothing. I haven't been this happy, relaxed or free in over 20 years. Healing my mind and spirit before I go.

[@kbc1883]

Well done, YOU!!! That was brave and wise. I am so glad you have been able to create a peaceful life for yourself.

[@felineoverlordservant2419]

My mom always had a limit with how sick I could be before she would snap at me and shame me for being as sick as I was. She would always guilt me for not seeing how bad she was feeling, like I was somehow being selfish by feeling physically worse than her. It’s batshit crazy, is what it was and her self-involved narcissistic shenanigans while my brain was developing are the reason my mind is completely fragmented and a dissociative mess at age 42.

[@maeannengo4908]

I don't think my mom is a narcissist, but what you said reminded me of an incident a few months ago where she got mad at me for not being able to help her with house chores because I was very nauseous and vomitted a lot

[@felineoverlordservant2419]

@@maeannengo4908 Emotional immaturity can also look like narcissistic traits and behaviors. I go back and forth between my mom is a full blown vulnerable narcissist or just emotionally immature and abusive. It really depends on what memories are triggered at the time. My brother on the other hand, there’s no back and forth. He’s a full blown overt vulnerable narcissist, he’s just occasionally covert. He also checks more than a few boxes of a sociopath. My childhood was traumatic from beginning to end.

[@angelinaesposito3058]

You Realize IF You...TRULY want to be Emotionally & Mentally healthy You may Need to permanently! Severe all ties with people like this. ** I have had to severe ties with my family

[@felineoverlordservant2419]

@@angelinaesposito3058 I haven’t cut ties with my mom and step dad but I am complete no contact with my brother. I’ve made my boundaries very clear in that aspect, which they have honored for the last 5 years. I also think my complete apathy has been a sort of stopper for my mom’s emotional abuse. I imagine it’s not rewarding for her to villainize me anymore. Her emotional and psychological abuse comes at a cost she can’t afford and she’s very aware of that, because me being admitted to yet another mental hospital is embarrassing for her, after all. She’s finally terrified of breaking the fragile mind she already broke over the last 42 years.

[@fbxn]

Same here, struggling with a fragmented mind, which broke again into a million pieces after new trauma (forced psychiatric treatment for bipolar disorder and my family feeling relieved that they are the sane ones, whatever anger I expressed all those years was just my mental illness). 10 years later, I ve gone low or no contact with many people, I have returned to healthy old friendships that I had abandoned over the years because I was too busy taking care of a bunch of narcissists, I am gentle to myself, take all the advice I find here on yt (tim fletcher is another great channel) and I finally watch the pieces coming back together!!! We can heal, it s not linear, it gets worse before it gets better, etc etc, but yes we can!! I am 41, it s since last year that I really feel integrating, and it seems to just happen, the more I insist on being protective and kind to myself and staying grounded. I walk my dog and myself everyday, looking at autumn colors, touching leaves and smelling flowers, and whenever I feel like mourning/ crying, I do it. Wishing you the best❤❤❤

[@31Alden]

I was sent to the Emergency Department from my cardiologist’s office and admitted to the hospital after several hours with “Hypertensive Urgency”. As the doctors, nurses, PAs, NPs worked to gradually reduce my massively high blood pressure and do a variety of tests, my husband of nearly 40 years, a Class A malignant narcissist sat in a chair like a lump of coal, unpleasant to the medical personnel and unpleasant with me. (Nothing unusual there). He’s been out of sorts since I’ve been home as I haven’t felt like doing a lot of cooking. (Translation: serving him). Note to anyone who’s bumped up against a narcissist: RUN. GET AWAY FROM THEM AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

[@janicetelfer6211]

🤗 🤗 hugs. I can relate unfortunately. I have congestive heart failure from meds I took for nerve pain from car accident. Not everyone believed me and I just kept getting worse and worse blood pressure. Very scary when you are falling apart mentally and physically too and pain out the roof. And they do nothing....I walked away from that. I won't go near anyone now who is ignorant anymore. Now everyone feels bad because my heart was causing all that pain and I kept going to the doctors wondering wtf was wrong. After 7 years they found it! Now I don't care if I ever talk to them again. No one deserves to be treated this way. I'm sorry you have to go through this too. If you have the strength to walk way u will be alot better for it. I know I was. Hugs 🤗

[@Dinglesmckringles]

This explains so much about my mother's behavior toward my wife after she had a traumatic birth experience. When in front of the extended family, she was a sweet, wonderful person who only wanted to help. But as soon as she stayed with us to help with the baby for a week, she blamed my wife for everything that happened to her, pushed her to go for walks when she was bed bound, and woke her and the baby up repeatedly to complain about being bored, hungry, saw a bug, etc. She seemed genuinely upset that the attention was on my wife and child, and not her. We cut her out of our lives and are much happier for it.

[@ld-mo4uo]

Wow not every guy could see the reality . I am happy for your wifey, she has you ❤

[@tanzy11]

You are an incredible man! I wish my husband could see all of that when I was going through that difficult time when her mom visiting us. May God bless you ❤ You will have a long n happy life with your family ❤

[@NO-ib1ip]

Good for you ! Difficult to do but so important for you and your family.

[@bulletstee9118]

Be careful it's not your wife turning you away from your family just to isolated you .that's what mine did

[@Dinglesmckringles]

@bulletstee9118 don't worry, my family is garbage, so I made a new one. I'm sorry you had to experience that with your wife. Some people see the love we give as an opportunity to abuse us, which is despicable. I hope you find your peace.

[@crystalmiller4463]

Every single time anyone in my house got sick, my mother always "wasn't feeling good either" Just know if u stay THE NARCISSIST WILL NOT CHANGE

[@barbaraedwards5675]

My mom did this too, and continues to do this.

[@jrocks6969]

Least she doesn't beat the sick outta you

[@EmeraldMaverickMuse]

I wonder if there is some misconnection in their brain that makes them almost feel empathy, but instead mistakenly believe they are the one in need.

[@crystalmiller4463]

@@barbaraedwards5675 Dam what an awful human being.

[@happyhealthyblessed]

Now that you say that I remember my mother being the same.

[@cinemaocd1752]

My mother is a covert narcissist for whom her caregiver status is key to her identity. As a teenager her mother had a stroke and needed a lot of care. I get the feeling she wasn't an easy person to live with, but that is from my mother's stories. Since then she has looked after her father, my father and now her current partner through long illnesses. On the surface she is the kindest, most generous caregiver who has sacrificed her whole life to take care of others. If I had not lived with her for 20 years I would buy into the myth, and sometimes even do now, despite having lived through it KNOW what the caregiving amounts to. It amounts to her checking out of every outside commitment because she has the excuse of caregiving. It amounts to her sleeping half the day and watching daytime tv while the sick person waits for help. It amounts to her treating the sick person with the harshest most impatient attitude when she can not avoid helping them. My father and I always stepped in when her father lived with us because it was so hard to hear the way she spoke to him. To make things worse, she goes out of her way to keep the sick person sick longer and more dependent on her. She wouldn't let her father use a cane or mobility aid because that would mean he was handicapped and would need special treatment and she didn't want that. She didn't want to thing about the changes she would need to make to the house. She did the same to my father when he was under her care. I still feel guilt for leaving. Of course it's guilt she instilled in me. My principle concern is for her current partner because she has a tendency to isolate her charges from the outside world. I recently had breast cancer and I did not even tell my mother. I knew she would use it to make herself more grandiose and to drag my name to church so I can be prayed over. I am cancer free and thank god I have a loving partner who looked after me when I was ill.

[@tinagregor638]

Also the daughter of a covert narc. mom. Even now with her having dementia and living with me, she continues to be the martyr with no one appreciating her enough. Everyone at her church believes she is a kind, giving soul who only has love in her heart. If they knew how she manipulates everyone and has no empathy for her own children. I completely understand why you don't tell her about your illness. My conversations with mom are very superficial. I never dared to tell her how my life was actually going because she would use it against me in the future. Even today I cringe when she washes the dishes, as I know I will pay for it later.

[@TheMazinoz]

What is it with people, complete strangers even objecting to people using needed mobility aids, some paid carers are frankly abusive as well, but they can be punished by law.

[@TheMazinoz]

​@@tinagregor638Same. I also inherited the condition from her.

[@sundown6748]

Tina - they all know they see thru her they just play along

[@mikes9959]

At 5 years old, I'd broken my wrist while sleigh riding. Crying, I pulled my sleigh home while the kids who witnessed it laughed at me. I showed my mom, who was a nurse. Her reaction wasn't what a normal person would expect. Instead, it was one of disappointment, as if it was a nuisance to HER. Narcs hate people who are in need, that's for sure.

[@andrewoats]

I’ve never thought of my mother as a narcissist but this rings so true for me. I broke a finger in high school and she refused to take me to the doctor for four days. At age 5 she burned my finger with her cigarette and sent me to school that day with a bandaid on. I always just thought of her as being uncaring and not maternal.

[@deborahcarder4270]

@@andrewoatsI’m going to say it. Your “mother” was a dick. I’m so very sorry you had to deal with such neglect.

[@nikflix8331]

Maybe it just happened at a bad time? Maybe she was having a bad day or even a bad month, year, whatever. Your mother is human, she might have needed a mental break and didn't get the rest she needed. If she was busy working, etc, sometimes its hard to completely process what just happened. Sorry to hear about your situation though. Hopefully you don't hold on to these things too long and forgive people. No one is perfect and maybe look at the circumstances she was in and what she did right.

[@joannaheart8167]

I came home one day with two ankles broken. My mom was disappointed because she would have to take care of me. I was a nuisance. I never felt so lonely and sad in my whole life. I know the feeling...

[@joannaheart8167]

​​​​@@nikflix8331narcs don't have bad days, they just put themselves always first. I believe the persons with the broken wrist/finger because narc mothers see kids as nuisance. Mine is exactly the same. I will never forgive her.

[@youve-seen-the-butcher]

When I was 4yrs old, I got the flu, my narcissitic father left me with my grandad who is a convicted child abuser, so that he didn't have to deal with me. When they got back my mother had to convince my father to take me to the hospital where it was found out I had phnumonia and nearly died. He refused to let me see a dr again even though growing up I had a lot of health issue and was just told I was stupid and lazy. Finally when I was 17 and able to make appointments by myself, I went to the drs and was told I had an underactive thyroid and that it should have been diagnosed a very long time ago. He would then make comments all the time like, I don't have to take any pills, as if he was therefore superior than me. He did pretty much the same thing with my brother who has type 1 diebetes and my mother who has rheumatoid arthritis. He tried to leave her in March when she was at her worst and telling me, how am I supposed to live my life without sex? This is just the tip of the iceberg. He shows all the signs of a classic narcissist. I haven't spoken to him since March and I plan on keeping it that way.

[@BUBBLESPOGO]

I'm so sorry for you, brother and mother. How sad. Keep up the boundaries.

[@snowbunz]

Yes! I went through cancer treatment and while I was laying in bed sick, he would shut my bedroom door, when I needed his love and support. I felt so alone.

[@Anita-pi9ip]

I see you and I love you ❤

[@sarahfaith6531]

🌷 I love you too

[@hopeh1095]

Sorry you had to endure that, most times when sick feels alone. God sees it all and He will be their when others walk away.❤️

[@New_Era_077]

Jesus loves you & thank you so much for sharing this 😭 I think I’ve been in denial for a long time. I’ve lost a part of me & I’m so scared but God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear, I keep defending him to others & I get embarrassed and others including my family agree with this too. I honestly hate it. Tbh.

[@teetawn9454]

@@hopeh1095 AMEN to that. Thanks for reminding others that when NO one else cares, God does.

[@NikD215]

As a kid whenever I was sick, I often was made to go to school because she wanted prefect attendance, her rule was I needed to have a fever and be vomiting to warrant staying home. Once I got sick (vomiting) at school and the school called for her to come and get me, she never did, I stayed in the nurse's office for 3.5 hours, vomiting and eventually had to walk home. When I got home my mother made fun of me because I was sick and had vomit on me. When her grandmother was sick, she made me spend my summers taking care of her, alone, I was 13 and 14. As an adult I had surgery and my mother insisted on picking me up and caring for me at her house. The morning of my surgery she made me take an Uber to the hospital, as I was being prepped for surgery, she was blowing up my phone asking me where I was in the hospital, I told her like 6 times, and she was going on and on about how I needed to be understanding about what she was going through because I was having surgery (only a narc). Finally, they took my phone because my blood pressure was going up, after the surgery she dropped me home and left me alone to fend for myself. My uncle was outraged, and my mother's excuse was that I was strong and could handle it. But I know her and had prepared for her to do just that.

[@bree554]

I hope you broke contact with her, it's better for your health.

[@kims1912]

That's awful, I'm so sorry for your loss of a caring mother like you deserved to have. My ex had a narcissistic mother too. She was awful to me, but I saw right through her.

[@wildlifegardenssydney7492]

So sorry you had to deal with and survive the polar opposite of a protective , caring (when your really actually so sick) Mum. I am surprised your school did not grill her over the coals for sending you to school when you were clearly sick (and getting others sick). Anything could have happened to you on the way home…collapsed. This was a red flag the school should have noted and flagged……imagine it being picked up earlier and you having someone to work out a safe exit from home strategy.

[@MarilynCS]

I applaud every single person who’s spoken out in the comments because some days, with all the “knowing” in the world, it still feels too unsafe to talk about; yet, we wouldn’t make any progress in raising the matter if we obeyed that fear. The people who talk about it really deserve a significant level of credit and recognition. We would be nowhere without the first person who spoke out and the next, and the next, and the next…

[@Thatsright561]

Great video. I was dying and my narcissistic family told me I was exaggerating and wanted attention. Once I got the diagnosis they told me they never said those things and I must be schizophrenic. They made false claims in court had me thrown out of my house into a behavioral health place that was happy to get the business. Moved from housing to housing extremely sick luckily finally found a place 4 years later through church. Blessed I survived on disability but they still don’t care.

[@drina4706]

This is horrible! I am so sorry that you went through all of this!!! I hope that you were able to either go "no contact" or do " grey rock" method with them!!!

[@Thatsright561]

@@drina4706 No contact with 3 of the 4 members and grey rock with the other. Focusing on my healing and controlling my thoughts tied to emotions has been the biggest help. We can’t change them but we can change how we react to them. They feed off causing pain and suffering Mostly they are shocked I’m still alive at this point. Haven’t seen my 2 siblings in 7 years, my father about a year ago, my mom maybe once a month and it’s like dealing with a mental patient. One word sums these people up delusional. A guy on here Jeremy Wise had some great videos to. Thank you for your caring comment most people don’t understand or can’t understand the depth of the his illness.

[@laurie9993]

Narcs can be greedy for extra $, sorry you didnt get a savvy power of attorney to help you in court, & keep the house !😢

[@thetrainwreck1469]

Whenever my NPD husband found out someone was sick, he would pretend to be sick for attention. My son pretended to be sick just to see if his dad would catch it, and he did. He said, Mom. I wasn't even sick. I just pretended to be sick. lol

[@violetamethyst1186]

Smart kid! I hope you, your son and loved ones are well and away from that guy.

[@AndreaD-t3l]

My daughter was in a very bad accident I basically had to drag him out of bed to race up the road to the accident site he acted fine while the EMS and cops were there, then he didn’t think she needed to go to the hospital,so we went home as soon as we got home he started getting sick 🙄🙄 threw up so he said, just to pull attention away from our child who was in pain and was mentally having a hard time dealing with what had just happened to her!!

[@lesleyelalami2562]

Sinkhole springs to mind! LOL@@AndreaD-t3l

[@sarahhale-pearson533]

I can relate. Kids of a narc parent, and a ‘normal’ parent get tea sharp, beyond their years, from what they have had to survive. It’s chilling how young they get to be worldly wise.

[@Truthteller1s]

This is something that is not often covered but SOOO true. This was the first thing that clued me in to my narcissist spouse. She got so angry when I had a kidney stone and had to go to the hospital. She thought I was faking so I wouldn't have to take her shopping. She never showed an ounce of sympathy or remorse for falsely accusing me. Irony of all ironies, she is a nurse.

[@mac-ju5ot]

That's just sad I've had a kidney stone passed it in college bathroom.during finals was dying See why I don't date a narc.

[@amarbyrd2520]

People seem to underestimate how many narcissists are in the "health professions"

[@caroleminke6116]

My younger sister is a nurse & a bully ❤️‍🩹 as the daughter of a narc she had a choice but took the low road in life to gain control over others & their $ but funny thing is after stealing with her POA of attorney instead of getting the inheritance she was disinherited! Another narc sister scooped the remainder of the estate right out from under her nose 😂

[@OfSoulAndSin]

My narc (STBX) wife is a nurse too. If I get sick, I’m an inconvenience. When she needs surgery it’s all hands on deck!!

[@mindimcmains]

I broke my ankle one day, and by the time I woke up the next morning, I could not put any weight on it. I told my narcissistic husband that I needed to go to the emergency room. He sneered and said, "It's not that bad. You're overreacting. I hate having to be inconvenienced by you...," etc., etc. He begrudgingly took me to urgent care, and sure enough, my ankle was fractured. He told the nurse--whom he had been flirting with the entire time--"I told her this morning that we'd better come in and get x-rays; it's better to be safe than sorry, and I had to practically drag her in here!" The nurse was like, "Aaawww, what a great husband!" I just looked at him with my jaw on the floor, and he smirked his little Duper's Delight grin and winked at me.

[@WaterBug46]

This one certainly brought a knowing smile. I had a broken ankle. The usual 6 weeks crutches. No load bearing as right on the cusp for surgery. H refused to help. Even laughing at my struggles to get the toilet seat down that he left up. Toilet seats are beneath him. His words. An emergency hysterectomy left me with a serious cancer scare. Stage 4. It was mercifully benign but I still had a long recovery. His words? I took one wife through this and I didn’t sign up for another. His first wife died of ovarian cancer. Anything that puts unwanted pressure on their world will be met with absolute anger and resentment. How dare anyone to possibly get sick and mess their world 😂

[@radhikaradhika1793]

When i was a child,i was sleeping in my mother's room..i was a child with respiratory illness..often get cough and flu..my mum never allowed me to cough at night..she will yell and scold me..i used to control myself from coughing..i used to think i was a burden and my illness was a burden..felt unlovable until one day i went for a camping with other students..i was 12 and was coughing the whole night..i felt so ashamed and was thinking that all the students would have hated me..but to my surprise,the next morning,they came to me and were very concerned about my cough..they had so much of sympathy and empathy for me..that's when i realized that i am not a symbol of shame..my mother couldn't even have basic empathy or sympathy that 12 year old children had..everytime i vomit or get fever,she will yell and punish me..nightmare!😢

[@SJ-yg1bh]

So sad😢

[@TheGhjgjgjgjgjg]

I heard the devil doesn't have much empathy either.........what goes around, comes around

[@TheMazinoz]

I was also shocked when I managed to leave home at how nice other people were. I was not allowed o go out or mix with other kids and rarely saw my parents as they worked weekends.

[@Shanchelle]

You didn’t deserve that, she obviously had some deep issues. I hope you have since then experienced love and compassion and I hope you never feel guilty for being sick ever again. 🙏🏻

[@radhikaradhika1793]

@@Shanchelle Thank you..i healed that emotional wound..and feel more peaceful today...🙏😊

[@innominategamer5511]

About six months ago I accidentally fell down the stairs and injured my knee pretty badly. My narc mom was the only person I could call for help. She came over and decided that my apartment was filthy so I had to sit there in pain for three hours while she cleaned my entire apartment and did my laundry before she would take me to urgent care. She also only brought one crutch. So I had to hobble in pain with one crutch into the urgent care across the parking lot because she insisted on parking in the spot with the best shade. I saw on her phone while we were in the waiting room that she took pics throughout my apartment and sent them to my dad to make fun of how messy I am (I struggle with depression and executive dysfunction and can sometimes be messy). The worst part is that I texted my brother about this hoping he would understand since he lived through the same thing but he just texted my mom right away to tell her what I said about her and called me ungrateful. I wish I knew what it felt like to be loved and cared for.

[@atlanticalilly]

This is horrifying. I'm so sorry that she humiliated you rather than cared for you. You may have other people in your life who care for u deeply, like family. Like they say Friends are just family we get to chose. I am sending you a virtual hug 🤗. You deserve better and I'm confident u can surround yourself with good people and leave this toxic situation behind u.

[@katherineraquelle1930]

Yep I moved back since the pandemic 😷 to see if my whole narcissistic, dysfunctional family had changed. The answer was no. Recently after I recovered from Covid a year ago, my narc mother told my father to take photos of my brother’s room (which used to be my childhood bedroom) and send the pics to him to see how messy his room is while my brother was at work.

[@rhondagray8518]

It is not a replacement for a loving family; but try to find a support group online for your condition that is causing executive dysfunction. FB has many; and one of them will help you feel understood if nothing else.

[@reemafarhat122]

I have that same experience with a narc mother

[@azurea0587]

I'm so sorry you had to through this awful situation with awful, unloving people. Perhaps your brother is narcissistic too. At the very least, he lacks empathy. What a jerk to betray your confidence. Virtual hugs and best wishes to you on your journey.

[@melliehobson8299]

Absolutely. I expected my mother to be present for me in the hospital for an operation. She showed up AFTER I drove myself to the hospital, weak from fasting, and most indicative of all, she wrecked her car the night before the operation in order to avoid full attention to me. She sat playing a free cell game, click, click, clicking next to me while I tried to come out of anesthesia. I never want to die near her. I don't want her to die near me. I have very little feeling left for her at all.

[@cinegrinder250]

Just a couple of years ago, I realized my father is a narcissist . As a child I was prone to frequent colds and flu, I recall the routine visits to the doctor with my mother. And despite getting proper meds, cough usually takes its own time to go away, so the cough used to persist for at least a week. And During these midnight bouts of coughing, my father would unleash his anger on my mother, blaming her for my illnesses and verbally abuse her. I used to feel guilty for letting it happen to my mother and I remember suppressing my cough to spare my mother from his unwarranted outbursts. It took me years to realize that he was never concerned for my well-being but my mother was targeted for his inconvenience.

[@extra_ice_girl]

Are they still married?

[@danielmartin531]

This sounds like my father except he'd beat me for coughing

[@ginadellgrottaglia6897]

My dad couldn't stand burping or vomiting, and he'd beat us if we did it around him. Years later, I realize it was prolly a gagging reflex thing from abuse. That side of the fam is Incest City.

[@BostonSmall]

This makes so much sense! My disabled dad spent his entire life catering to his non disabled mom. He got pancreatic cancer. She was FREAKING OUT that he didn’t want to move in with her so she could skip the 5 minute drive to our house. She didn’t want to help, she wanted to be able to deal with him with the “mask off” and no one would know! I didn’t realize that until now! Every time she came over there was this mix of “helping”, making crude remarks about how our house was awful, throwing things we love in the trash, starting fights by getting the wrong items at the store…. She was actually resentful she had to take care of him now that he was dying. Oh my GOD now I have some closure.

[@lisabuchanan6371]

Closure? You must not have suffered any damage. I know for me there is no cure from all the bullying, just plain hate.

[@laetitialogan2017]

Dreadful and shallow of her..

[@janebrown7231]

​@@lisabuchanan6371It's not fair to say that. There are two elements, the damage caused, and how you deal with it. Some people can be severely damaged and still find closure after enough time and healing has gone on. You have no way of determining how much damage someone else sustained. Better to focus on working through your own PTSD and seeking the best outcome for you.

[@KarenH-r5n]

I totally understand your story. My Dad married a woman 20 years younger than him. He was 47, she was 27. As he aged and his health declined she grew angry and resentful. When he lost his job at age 65 he took his well-earned social security AND two separate part time jobs, one at a library and one at a hobby store. A few months later he was diagnosed with serious heart disease requiring open-heart surgery and had to give up his two part-time jobs. His wife became so angry she quit her long-time job because she said, “I’m not going to support any man. I’m going to retire too!” She was 45 years old. Then, he was diagnosed with terminal stage 4 cancer. When he was diagnosed he drove himself to the emergency room vomiting blood. She called me at my work at the end of the day to tell me he took himself to the ER that morning. Her excuse for not driving or even going to the ER while he was because she would miss her daily soap opera TV shows. He drove alone vomiting blood and heard the C word all alone. Her response? “So, he’s a big boy.” She refused to drive him to his chemo treatments that were only 3 miles from their home so I would leave my job during my lunch hour, drive 10 miles to their home to pick him up and drop him off at his oncologist office. I would return after work to take him back home after his treatment. Again, she just couldn’t miss her TV shows. Remember, she is unemployed. During his chemo misery he had multiple trips to the ER for blood transfusions all of which my husband and I took him. On what turned out to be his last chemo visit that I was bringing him back to their house, she literally screamed at him (in front of me), “You’re supposed to be taking care of me! if you were a real man you wouldn’t be putting me through this!” She then turns to me and said, “He puked last treatment and I had to clean it up!” That’s when I brought him home to live with us until he went inpatient Hospice. He was in hospice 5 weeks. She only visited 3 times. During those visits she informed him his beloved little dog did not miss him at all. With each visit she also gathered all the special items I had purchased to cheer up his room including specially magazines (Popular Science, and Railroad hobby) and organic lip balm…all in the garbage! I addressed this with her but she still repeated this with each of her 3 visits. This last vile thing she said to me before he died was, “Everyone thinks this cancer is about him, but it’s NOT! IT’S ABOUT ME!” Then, she held his Ashes hostage not allowing us to hold his military funeral until I tricked her into it 4 months after his death. Even 13 years after his death she now tells all her neighbors how my dad abused her! Total lie! My dad was a very passive gentle human. Even my mother (his 1st wife of 27 years) can vouch.

[@janebrown7231]

@user-lt6te8bd6i that's a deeply distressing story. I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through that. It certainly illustrates that some people are completely unforgivable. Forgiveness would mean nothing to a person like that, except her having an extra hold over you. I hope you are healing, slowly.

[@paulinab.1410]

That was one of the reasons why I left my husband after 23 years of marriage. He left me alone in almost every difficult situation in my life, especially when I was ill. Whether it was a mild cold or a severe flu, I was always on my own. Even with a high fever, he didn’t organize anything for me. We had a toddler, we had a dog. The toddler needed care, and the dog needed to be taken out three times a day. He simply went on business trips. But if someone in the neighborhood had even a minor cold, he was immediately there, as he usually received a lot of praise for it. What a great guy!

[@AndiAndrea]

Yes, I found out the hard way when in early 2020 I was violently ill with a virus. I was suffering from the following: severe weakness and shortness of breath, high blood pressure, heart racing, losing consciousness, blood emitting from my nose during violent sneeze attacks, high fever, bumps and bruises all over me from falling down each time I lost consciousness, and my husband refused to take me to be seen by medical professionals, even after witnessing all of this. I took a Lyft. After I recovered -which took many months- I left him and now we are divorced. NEVER stay with a partner who is annoyed or doesn’t care that you are ill.

[@mrsankennedy]

My sister is a narcissist and a nurse...I could never reconcile that in my mind.

[@jancoley9051]

She went into the profession for money. Not to help people. I bet she us one if those terrible nurses. They are plenty of them. They are there for the paycheck and they do have authority over people. Sometimes they try to rule the doctors. When the doctors aren't around they call the shots. They rule. Protect yourself.

[@sb416]

Most are

[@adelemoreau9354]

welcome to the club! tons of narc doctors there are: I could give you quite a few names. Starting with our dad.

[@exaudi33]

@@adelemoreau9354 Put my father's name at the top of that list.

[@GabrielleTollerson]

⁠@@jancoley9051a majority of them have only went into the profession for money,I have never met one who hasn't,sadly. No doctor,no therapist,no dentist. None 😕

[@realhealing7802]

My sickness was an inconvenience. My toxic family was convinced I was faking. I had pneumonia, but to them, I didn't look sick. You will always have to be what they need or want to be accepted. They have no empathy for sickness.

[@mantleofelijah]

I was with a narcissist and it took me a while to realise this. Since coming out of the relationship I have learned all about it. Thank you for your help in this. When I was with him I kept having terrible pain in my feet (plantar fasciitis) it was crippling at times. This went on for six months. It turned out my fiancé hated that I was in pain. Not because he cared but because it was annoying. He then became very concerned that I would become disabled and this didn’t fit with his view of his life. So he abandoned me right before our wedding day. No warning. It was harsh … but as soon as I was away from him my feet were healed! Instantly I went from almost constant agony to nothing. In retrospect I believe God allowed this pain to extricate me from this toxic relationship. I’m grateful now that I was rescued by my ill health - although I didn’t see it that way at the time. It took me a while to heal from his narcissistic control. God is good and I am now in a very healthy and happy marriage.

[@jospsalm91]

Wow Thank you Father God for that out on a probably heartless man

[@user-dm9kw1pp3y]

I was with someone who dumped me when I had a breast cancer scare, then again when I had lyme, then again when my kid was sick...I stupidly went back to him after each time. But I felt like God was giving me increasingly dire situations until I listened and kicked him out of my life. He quickly married a woman during covid who is 17 years younger than him--he was afraid of getting fat, old, not performing hence his need for a much younger woman. He is self serving and selfish but I didn't realize this degree of narc in him. But I too, felt so much better healthwise being done with him. Life is better on the other side. Glad you are there, too.

[@marthas.4456]

You had a very lucky escape!!!! Plantar fasciitis can be very painful but it can go away without a trace ( just as happened to me too). I believe in your case it was the act of God, he showed you the true colours of your man just before the wedding day. Stories like yours makes me believe in God.

[@mantleofelijah]

@@marthas.4456 it was a lucky escape! I stupidly went back to him a couple of times, just briefly. he kept me dangling on a line. Even after abandoning me a month before our wedding it took longer for my eyes to be completely opened. It amazes me that I couldn’t see it but nice people who are empaths just sometimes find it hard to accept the evil in the world and we try to fix people. God is the only one who can do that and I now have a lot more wisdom. God is so very real and he is the one who healed my heart.

[@ellenhazelton8872]

It was the beginning of the end when my narc husband’s verbal & emotional abuse escalated one day when I was 8 months pregnant…tired, vulnerable & bewildered. It was like scales fell from my eyes. I started planning my exit that same day.

[@susanlamphere9004]

I learnt that sickness was “not allowed”but when I was pregnant I felt sure he would take care of me. He did not, quite the contrary. Fortunately my friends and colleagues helped me and showed more concern for the baby and me than my (ex) husband ever did. In fact, it was through pregnancy, childbirth and my daughter’s early years that I developed the strength and resilience to get out.

[@PEGGYKEEHN]

Sounds just like my story.

[@f.frederickskitty2910]

A narcissist detests weakness and openly despises you for it when illness manifests. My husband shamelessly admitted he was embarrassed to be seen with me when I initially became very sick and was eventually diagnosed with systemic lupus. Recalling his anger because I could no longer work or generate my previously sizable income and the cruelty he was capable of in private away from witnesses still makes my skin crawl. I was totally helpless and at his mercy which he didn't understand the meaning of. It's almost comical how that idea changes when the shoe is on the other foot and they become the sick or weak one. They promise change when they become vulnerable but it evaporates once they recover. Never trust a narcissist because their concern for you only goes as far as what you can do for them. To them you are only a tool to be used and nothing more.

[@FAMILYLLEGOFAMILYLLEGO]

MAO KANANG MGA DAUTAN NGA TAW MAAYU LANG NA UG ABUNDANT KA UG TAN AW NILA NAA SILAY MAPALA NIMO KAI KANANG DAUTAN NGA TAW.....KWRTA ..RAY KATAPAT ANA MOHILOM NANA WANA SILAY GINOO...MAO DILI NA SILA MALOOY UG MAKONSENCYA...WAPOD NA SILAY PAKI UG MAMATAY KA BISAN PAG MAMATAY KA MALIPAY NON NA KAI MAO NAY GUSTO NILAMAHITABO NMO ANG DAUTAN NGA TAW BISAN ASA PANA IBUTANG DAUTAN JUD NA DILI NANA MAWALA NILA KAI MAO NAY NADAK AN NILA..

[@standinginthegap7118]

Well spoken

[@Portia620]

I know that feeling and sorry to hear others go thru this!!!! 🙏😢

[@laya8880]

If you are still married, good luck.

[@marthas.4456]

Are you still married to him??? In that case you have to get away, he sounds like an awful human being. For a narcissist their other half exists only to enhance their own image.

[@Swimininmonet]

My ex caught covid .. I helped take care of him. I later caught it from him & he treated me like I was nasty & disgusting. I was like huh smh

[@samscarletta7433]

Yep.

[@chakahair1]

They are not kind and they lack empathy and they try to make you feel guilty.

[@nikkinorton8310]

Covid was definitely a sign of things to come with any relationship. Did they help, or did they make it worse?

[@Swimininmonet]

@@nikkinorton8310 I wasn’t getting better and I suggested he sleep in a different room… Due to cross contamination. He threw a fit got so aggressive.. I’m sitting there looking bewildered like “Dude” he continuously wanted to have sex.. wanted to be up under me. It was a total nightmare. At that point I knew he had to go!

[@Diana-mu7pc]

The same thing for me. We never lived together and were only really with each other for a short term, but in that time he got Covid like a month into us knowing each other and I got it three months later. When I suggested I got it when we went to Boston on St. Patrick's Day, you know, a crowded city flooded with people and where we went to multiple places, he was like "No you must be wrong because I didn't get it." He told me I only could've gotten it at work, in a room with twelve preschoolers, when I had already started developing cold symptoms. 😂😂 (Don't worry I did wear a mask there, but I thought it was just allergies). I don't even understand why he was so insistent about that, because his immunity to it would've still been up. Catching it twice in three months just isn't that common. He just didn't wanna hear that my sickness might've had anything to do with something we did together even though I wasn't remotely trying to blame him. Then once I started getting seriously sick with Covid, suddenly he was just having the worst crises in his life and had to complain to me about every little thing like it was devastating and showed no care towards me whatsoever. Would send me walls of text all day when I was barely able to lift my head and wanted me to support him emotionally over every single thing. And after I was testing negative, I never really "got better" because I ended up developing an autoimmune disease that I'm still struggling to get professional care for. I told people in my life that I'm simply not well enough to hang out with them like I used to anymore; I wouldn't be leaving the house for anything except work and major events (I had two brothers getting married and having a baby over the summer so I still prioritized those). All my other friends took it well enough. It's not great to hear but they knew not to shame me or make it about themselves. Not him, though! He played the victim, minimized my illness in comparison to alllllll his problems, and discarded me. Now I'm glad that happened when it did, as much as it hurt. Not having to deal with him on a daily basis anymore because I was experiencing his silent treatment... it was a blessing in disguise. Whenever he'd pretend to express care it was so fake. It was like he was pandering to an audience. And whenever he didn't imagine an audience there, that's when he'd be truly nasty to me.

[@DreamsOfFinland]

My family turned up the heat on me when I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My father & mother had made an agreement before I was diagnosed to help me financially when I could no longer work. My father died of ALZ a year later and my mother, brother and sister decided to cancel the agreement - without telling me. I had to take early social security 60% less than I had earned. They did what they could to make my life hell. I lost my home, friends, life & when I found out the 3 of them were in on it, it was too late to go after them legally. Not one person in the entire extended family ever said a kind word to me since, after I took care of my dad and mother, nothing for me. Beware. The first thing to do when diagnosed with dementia is go to a lawyer.

[@sugarpuddin]

Fascinating! I was not permitted to be sick as a child in a narcissistic family. I would be heavily targeted and shamed for it. I'm in my 60s, a medical doctor, and just recently realized I have banned myself from taking note of my own illness! What an eye opener! To be sure, a toxic childhood leads to life long damage! Realizing it is truly the beginning of healing.

[@TheMazinoz]

Doctors are often "ableist" to themselves!

[@proudatheist2042]

I admire your bravery to admit what you did not know and did not know how to acknowledge.

[@sugarpuddin]

@@proudatheist2042 I am grateful for your kind words. I only now acknowledge my medical troubles and taking steps to resolve them. Wild! I should have known better! These many terrific lectures on narcissism have completely changed my life! I see it everywhere now! I wonder: might it be true that people instinctually reward narcissists with powers and privilege's? I would appreciate your thoughts.

[@wildlifegardenssydney7492]

Interesting question I have often thought about. From a teacher’s perspective the squeaky wheel…..gets fixed……the pushy arrogant parent….gets their child noticed and often their kids model that…….the confrontational parent or boss often gets preferential treatment (out of fear….of antagonising them….of confrontation and violence). Narcissists with “masks on “ really schmooze……”the audience”….and do not follow social rules and norms. A teen to 20’s highly attractive narcissist gets virtually anything they want…..once their manipulative fake script gets them what they want…… they use it over and over for the rest of their lives….in supply…….there is a list of white collar professions high in entitlement and narcissism…….money power and entitlement are all self perpetuating…..In a domestic relationship they do not lift a finger around the house….doing any housework or home maintenance……they are the overeer…….giving their passive controllable “slave” endless tasks. As the male narcissists age they get partners that are so young they could be their granddaughters age. They control their every move. A sex object/in home age care worker/ “wife” all rolled into one. Usually from a very, very poor family from Asia. That is the tip of the iceberg of narcissists preferential treatment. I personally really value the truth tellers, people with humility, content with some aspects of their lives, not always grasping for more and more “full cup concept”. Whistle blowers are insanely strong and incredible people too. People who survived being the child of a narcissistic mother, (like you and I) and are the polar opposite of their narcissistic parent are amazing too. Here your mother denied your sickness and you end up in the medical profession! I feel so thankful for this community ….Understanding the N and their tactics the roles…is life changing. I have had many a ha moments and really honour and understand others with narcissistic mothers and fathers.

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

When I was sick with severe food poisoning and in bed. My narcissist ex picked a fight with me. I was so shocked. Who would even stoop that low? 😢

[@TheMazinoz]

You better believe it. They have no morals and can be unbelievably petty, do anything to appear to be the "top dog" , win at all costs.

[@kathrynhayes1799]

Mine used to stage a fight at dinner time while we were sitting at the table. I was 6.5, got down to 115 ibs, a pale and skinny mess. -So glad those days are over!😊

[@melisentiapheiffer3034]

@kathrynhayes1799 He was one of those men who had a chip on his shoulder.

[@CaprielleLeong]

You have no idea how much your videos have helped me heal. I grew up with a narcissistic mother, and she would literally quarantine us in our rooms when we are sick. Food was put outside of our door. If we ever came downstairs, she would say “No, go back up to your room!” I remember crying and crying for my mom to come snuggle me or comfort me and she never would.

[@brandonhealy7158]

😢😭

[@latenitetubing]

I can’t even imagine crying for my mother to come snuggle or comfort me. That’s a totally foreign idea being raised by narcissists.

[@selvaggio5x]

I had always been the 'fixer', as my partner caused chaos in every area of his life. I eventually, after years of silent suffering was diagnosed with Graves Disease/Fibromyalgia/CFS. He had previously cheated anyway, but this really ramped up in frequency, as I got sicker and sicker. I continued in a state of purgatory for another 10 years, his resentment,gaslighting and lying were so horrid to experience but I didn't want to be alone. I got some therapy (3.5 yrs) and finally found some self worth. His final 'cheat' was his ex wife from 25yrs prior. Yeah, I was finally done. If I carried on he was going to kill me through the stress. If someone is stabbing you in the back, my friend, quit handing them the knife. Peace and love x

[@graceanneocallaghan1638]

I have been suffering with chronic migraine for 3 years and i have learned SO much about the people in my life.

[@olgaperry592]

same here

[@paulmichaelrichardson6582]

I bet you have found out who really cares

[@ktpuss]

Yes! I totally understand, it’s a real eye opener and especially when you realise you’ve always checked in on the same people and made extra effort to meet or message them during their difficult times. Makes my heart so sad and wish I didn’t notice these things, if that makes sense.

[@adelemoreau9354]

me too!! Do you feel like you could share more about it? No help. Migraine is terribly debilitating, it's every week for me... My dad told me: people have migraines and still go to work (no they don't, not when it's every week¨!). He is a Doctor I need to specify...

[@sbon4771]

I had a chronic migraine for 4 years. Really lost faith in people in general. If you’re no longer fun or useful people will drop you so fast.

[@tina-louisephillips787]

When my brother was dieing of cancer my father who is a narc just didn't believe it. And treated him appallingly. I nursed my brother and cared for him on my own for 20 months in the same house as our father. It was not easy.

[@777Pattie]

You were an Angel 😇 to your brother, bless you 💕.

[@a.scribe474]

Karma will see that your narc father suffers later. I believe it. 40 years ago I lived with a controlling narc. When his behaviour escalated, some friends offered to "sort him out". I declined, saying "he'll get his karma". He died 5 years ago, with cancer, alone. I don't ever wish anyone to die that way, but a part of me felt it was justice served.

[@senorita_lake_educates]

❤ my heart is with you.

[@Misyeli]

He always gone whenever I get sick and actually the only reason I get sick because of him. So when he's around I'm being weak, I sick a lot. Now trying to move on. Pray for me guys 🙏 Thank you so much 😊

[@chakahair1]

I am praying for you, I definitely can relate.

[@tdevry]

God bless.

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

😂

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

We do, you are doing a very brave thing; good luck! The silly laughter thing was my phone going mad ok?

[@carriedillmann4455]

I’m praying for you🙏🏻❤️ Get away and stay away and you’ll be amazed at your lack of sickness!!!!!!!!!! NO CONTACT OF ANY KIND !! Peace will find you and sickness will leave you !!!!! I promise !!😀🎉

[@dynamicforce8051]

This is so true! My narcissistic brother will never cancel his holiday trips when someone has an illness or going through a difficulty. He always pretends in front of others how present he is when someone is ill, but actually he speaks to the ill person like they’re a burden and they deserve to be in this condition. He also gets extremely angry when someone is hurting or crying. He’s the most horrible person I’ve ever met in my life. It’s funny how narcs never get sick, they only get more successful with time. May God take him away from our life so we can finally be at peace

[@show_me_your_kitties]

I watched my friends mother marry a man and leave him in less than a year because he started having heart problems. She said she didn't want to have to take care of him in the future. She offered to leave the dog with him for company, then sued him for the dog. She didn't get the dog and made a fool of herself in court.

[@selinaogorman8380]

This is exactly a narcissist I knew did and said she said because she had another boyfriend at the time she told me I don’t think I am going to be with him for to long she said everything all his faults his flaws he has bipolar he has seizures so clearly she meant it she and him are no longer together anymore plus she went back to her first boyfriend they are on and off she only with the first boyfriend because of his benefits like supportive of her financial reasons but it was probably more I doubt it because it’s of security and money she like most narcissistic people they use people for so many reasons if you allow it they will take advantage of you.

[@colleenshea2293]

Its astonishing these people exist but they do and I have known more then a handful up close.

[@TheMazinoz]

​@@selinaogorman8380Oh yes, they want to take everything off you, even if not in romantic relationship. They are so badly done by you know. Guilt trip you, even though in reality they have had better off parents, support and aren't disabled or ill, where you are. One felt entitled to my unit, hard earned money, superannuation etc. WTF! Not involved, met at work. They have no respect for boundaries or you. They truly live in an alternate universe!

[@reneemorgan3144]

They are horrible humans!!! I recall having severe postpartum depression and anemia after the birth of my daughter. (42 yrs ago) I needed help as I had to return to the hospital for several days. She told me stop faking because she needed to get back to her life. This was her first granddaughter I needed help with. Grateful I recovered. Please don't depend on them to help you. They create so much damage in the lives of others, it's not worth the hell and destruction that is caused. And if they are covert, the damage is worse!

[@mahwish_syed_designs]

My narc ex used my cancer to show off to others what a great guy he was supporting me-it came at a price. I was emotionally tortured, triangulated, and he wanted me to postpone my tumor surgery so he could go on a fun trip-he said he needed it. That “good guy” facade was exactly that-a false mask hiding the wolf who cared little for me or my illness.

[@iramsavir5631]

I was in same situation. 😢

[@mahwish_syed_designs]

@@iramsavir5631 OMG I am so sorry! How are you doing now?

[@Esme26433]

This!!!😂 I was down with painful post- birth injuries. Mostly bed ridden. He came in and told me he was going on holiday with his friends because he was stressed.

[@mahwish_syed_designs]

@@Esme26433 I am so sorry! I told him to go but to never come back. He stayed to prove that he was a “nice guy” but tortured me. I mean who makes a girl suffer more while she’s going through chemo?? My cancer was nicer to me than him. Hope you are ok.

[@touchofgrace3217]

My mother, being the vulnerable narcissist, relishes being the victim even if it is largely imaginary. Don’t dare tell her how challenging your day was because she will one-up you in perceived victimhood. She absolutely resents it when someone else actually is a victim (even if it is just being a victim of a cold). I was a sickly kid and the irony is, dealing with a narcissistic mother likely contributed to that. She resented me for being sick and painted herself as a martyr to others.

[@felineoverlordservant2419]

I thought for a second this comment was written by me. When extended family members were aware of how sick you were, I bet she performed the perfect caring mom until she reached her batshit breaking point, then in the privacy of your toxic home, would shame and guilt you for having the nerve to not care about how bad she was feeling. “It’s not all about you! I’ve been feeling awful for weeks and haven’t complained once” (implying that by being honest about how you’re still feeling means you’re complaining).

[@moonchola2815]

This is exactly what happened to me when I was pregnant. In public- so much help. “Don’t lift a finger!” But when we were alone …I was building & moving everything. Thank you for this ❤️

[@OfGhouls]

I told my narcissistic friend that I was in a lot of pain due to my Multiple Sclerosis. I thought he’d understand because, although not the same disease, I felt safe sharing my symptoms with someone I trusted. He looked at me with one of the emptiest yet coldest stares and tells me “at least your disease won’t kill you.” I come to find out later in our friendship that he doesn’t have epilepsy, but I myself wold never make the comparison between two neurological diseases like he did, and make someone feel completely invalidated. The utter lack of empathy while, at the same time, thinking that they were worse off, was what sent me.

[@vaska1999]

Epilepsy doesn't kill people either!

[@biondna7984]

24 years married to a worsening narcissist. 17 years since the divorce, and I'm only beginning to see all the ways our marriage was mostly just a transaction for him. When I almost died in surgery, had to stay in the hospital a couple extra days, and was too weak and tired to shoulder my usual load for several days, he was unresponsive and indifferent to me. My illness was nothing but an inconvenience to him. If I'd died he would've just taken that personally too, as a demonstration of my "irresponsibility" towards him. He is one cold fish, and I'm so glad I had eight wonderful years with my late second husband, to find out what being cared for really feels like.

[@pamelamartin6986]

My mother used to say that my migraines were harder on her than they were on me. I assumed that this was a kind of joke. I now believe that she was serious, that this arose from her narcissism.

[@northstar5919]

Omg they always feel worse.

[@noemisz.6141]

When I was a teen and I had a severe migraine episode once. My mother told me, that I have to pull myself together. What if I gonna have children later and I have to take care of them? ( she is a single parent.) Never took me to specialist, I was feeling really sick, throwing up for a day etc. Till today it hurts.

[@sandywozniak2401]

My narc friend told me .I was having a pity party when I had a migraine. Later I had a partial memory blackout. I'm ok .but the during love bombing.she sat with me at hospital. The coldness and cruelty terrible. No contact now 9 months

[@ckomarec]

The migraines were probably partially caused by the narc moms emotional abuse.

[@pamelamartin6986]

​@@ckomarecLately I've realized this is probably true.

[@gemdre]

About two months after giving birth to my first child, I started experiencing excruciating pain in my side. My then husband, mocked me and told me to stop exaggerating. The next day I couldn't get out of bed. I literally couldn't stand up straight or barely walk. Even then he complained about me. Finally he agreed to get me to the hospital. After asking his parents. At the hospital we were told that my appendix was close to rupturing. He's dead now. Cancer. His long suffering girlfriend took care of him.