Why Parkzer refuses to do a blood pact with DougDoug

[@junkeyz]

hearing parkzer start a call with "DOUG WHAT" instead of "hello douglas douglas" is like finding a shiny pokemon

[@Jun-sx9yg]

^^^ What I thought too

[@I_Eated_The_Soap]

It’s like a shiny Pokémon but modded so instead of being 1/8192, it’s 1/32768. It’s possible for someone to find multiple shiny Pokémon in their lives, but this is probably the only time Parkzer will ever say something other than “Hello Douglas Douglas” when entering a call

[@junkeyz]

@@I_Eated_The_Soap i am glad to share this once-in-a-lifetime experience

[@Pharaogon]

what timestamp

[@madann56]

@@Pharaogon12:05

[@hithere9438]

i love how commited parkzer is to being polite that he physically cannot leave the call without express permission

[@itzwizory9556]

he probably made a blood pact for that

[@videomontaggenerator]

Anti-vampire

[@itzwizory9556]

@@videomontaggenerator alucarD

[@brumm0m3ntum94]

he knows that as soon as he leaves call without permission that he’d get another call as soon as he’s used to not being in call

[@mamoon304]

​@@itzwizory9556 he doesn't do blood pacts but pee pacts on the other hand

[@catscratch1112]

It’s funny how professional Parkzer is when taking to Doug about a totally obscure topic such as a “shit pact”.

[@bobbay1562]

What do you mean "obscure"?

[@averagecloud2031]

"Your followers don't live in your excrement"

[@exosteI]

obscure? shit pacts aren't obscure at all, people do them all the time! did you know chris tucker and jackie chan did one?

[@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit]

@@exosteI same with carlson tucker and jackie chan.

[@AndreInfanteInc]

Parkzer was genetically engineered in a lab to be the perfect straight man.

[@itsybitsycherry]

Chat _immediately_ jumping to “YES WE DO” in response to Parkzer’s “your followers don’t live in your excrement” is probably the strangest display of loyalty I’ve ever seen. Never change.

[@Ixarus6713]

Literally anyone: Hyper-illegal comment. Twitch Chat: Goes with it for the bit anyway.

[@digif1008]

What else do you think. When doug is keeping the chat In hes basement and not letting them out

[@stanisawkrzyzaniaktheoviraptor]

That's how they got in the basemnt. Threw the toilet pipes

[@Jimyrt.]

I’m not even a twitch viewer and I’ve made my way into his fecal matter so it’s obviously false

[@icegod4849]

I fucking laughed so hard when Parkzer said “your followers don’t live in your excrement” and then someone in chat said "WE DON'T???"

[@rubberduck8096]

I'm honestly amazed that Parkzer still puts up with all of Doug's shit. Unfortunately not in a literal way.

[@jakko_]

We will never see the day

[@pyguy7]

Underrated comment. this needs likes

[@yerkkoo]

W comment

[@PerfectZeroMusic_]

He quite literally went: Step 1: Fecal transplant Step 2: ??? Step 3: $$$

[@dxtrum]

Step 2: Parkzer

[@I-did-September-11th]

1: Shit Pact 2: ??? 3: end

[@Interestking]

6:35

[@lindseytaylor3793]

it goes without saying that parkzer is pretty desensitized to dougdougs shenanigans, but he seemed genuinely caught off guard and straight up flabbergasted by this one, and i think that is a huge win for doug

[@catfish6415]

finally a win for the underdog

[@EmilAhvenainen]

@@catfish6415 underdoug

[@DegmoGrandfather]

I mean wouldn’t you? Friends calls you and asks if wanna do a shit pact.

[@EmilAhvenainen]

@@DegmoGrandfather If any one my friends called, then yeah. But if I knew that it was dougdoug calling I probaply wouldn't be surprised by anything.

[@catfish6415]

@@EmilAhvenainen damn you right

[@sokoshinbutsu6925]

Parkzer either takes everything Doug says deathly seriously, or couldn't possibly take him less seriously, and I can't tell which it is

[@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit]

Peak relationship dynamic.

[@danielwalker8133]

It's usually both

[@MFG1243]

I think the answer is yes.

[@kestrelynn]

Whichever ia funnier in the moment

[@The_Geni]

YES

[@GLUBSCHI]

This is the same guy that, in his childhood, screamed "i am the shit king" and proceeded to eat his own poop out of both hands. His brother has confirmed this to be the truth

[@terisian]

Indeed it is! Doug is the Shit King of kings! All hail the Shit King!

[@Ozdical]

Yeah the creator of the Stanley parable confirmed it too

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

​@@OzdicalTwo witnesses is all the proof we need!

[@jakko_]

I even heard this guy named Davey Wreden confirmed it, 3 witnesses!

[@Coercioner]

Pretty sure both of his parents and his sister also heard it, 6 witnesses!

[@Formansbasement]

parkzer would probably do anything for doug as long as it doesn't include bodily fluids, or shooting someone

[@Despedite]

so unreasonable of him smh

[@Ili-v4z]

Or saying "love you" back

[@sugoistalin7809]

He only refused to shoot Doug, I don't think he's made a concrete stance on whether he'd shoot other people.

[@goldjojo]

The two things Doug wants the most, Parkzer refuses to do 😔

[@funk8782]

Parkzer is the true definition of Lawful Neutral. He will do anything for his friend within the bounds of law and reason.

[@bittern4464]

"why do you hate me?" "Pee pact" 10/10 no further remarks

[@EEEEEEEE]

E

[@Halfendymion]

Mom found the pee pact

[@Ceber300]

The simple answer is Parkzer doesn’t have blood while Doug’s blood is a caustic venom

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

That would top my list of "things that I would not expect, but don't surprise me." 😅

[@allieginter8438]

Doug's blood is pure olive oil

[@exosproudmamabear558]

@@allieginter8438 Just pray Marco Pierre White wont find him or he may pour "a lil bit olive oil"

[@-Big_Big]

i like that dougs threshold for a bloodpact is "lets not goto this restaurant for 3 days"

[@lrose5522]

I get it honestly. When the food is THAT good, i need a bloodpact to keep me accountable to not continue eating there every day

[@CreeFalcon-219]

Tbf I mean have your ever had - ?

[@matiaspereyra9392]

how unreasonable can parkzer be

[@EEEEEEEE]

E

[@MrH.09]

@@EEEEEEEE D:

[@cookie_creations2162]

I genuinely love how parkzer is so polite and reasonable, that he doesn't give into a bit And it's so much better

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

It's sort-of like the "straight man" routine in comedy. As you say, it's fantastic.

[@Cinnamowo]

I feel like Jerma isn't that much of a psychopath anymore

[@dxtrum]

Jerma is like the joker, he's crazy and unstable. Doug is like the riddler he's crazy but it's a controlled chaos.

[@mrballisticsquid67]

@@dxtrumAND PARKZER IS BATMAN

[@genzo454]

​@@mrballisticsquid67 No chat, I am not Batman.

[@airl10]

​@@dxtrumBut that means Doug is the Joker and Jerma is Robin

[@AkiBean]

Parkzer is obviously commissioner Gordon since he's clearly a cop.

[@monsoonsheep]

This whole thing had me crying-laughing. Doug really goes into a different persona when talking to Parkzer on stream

[@hashslingingslasher97]

Doug becomes Twitch Chat and Parkzer becomes Doug

[@cowking2870]

​@@hashslingingslasher97 That is the best explanation Ive ever seen. Chat is usually the voice of chaos and anarchy and Doug just gets them under control and is the voice of reason, but when he talks to Parkzer, he immediately becomes chaotic and Parkzer must become the voice of reason, because God knows Chat wont

[@flirkyn1661]

I love how the first reaction of Dougdoug when he read "Shit pact" is to call Parkzer immediately xD That was a wild one

[@marcar9marcar972]

SUIKA

[@CreeFalcon-219]

@@marcar9marcar972suika?

[@deadboyo2773]

Are we japanese goblin?

[@scrungobeepis5443]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Parkzer is the single best addition to the Dougdoug cinematic universe

[@p_ttown1979]

it’s baffling that he’s a real person sometimes. he’s like a GTA-exaggerated version of that straightforward and logical personality type

[@tinytrtle5681]

12:07 omg this is literally the first time I've heard Parkzer answer a call with something other than "hello Douglas-douglas"

[@CreeFalcon-219]

*Dog whawt?!*

[@thatchillasian8924]

I love how I can’t tell which chat members are shocked about the concept of a blood pact, or appalled that Parkzer won’t make a blood pact with Doug.

[@truncatedGrip]

obviously everyone is shocked and appalled that parkzer wont make the blood pact, because making a blood pact to not go to a restaurant for three days is a very normal thing to do and there would be no reason to be shocked about it. or refuse. unless you're parkzer

[@Pepeutra]

"Give me one sec" "It's been 3 million one secs, Doug, can I leave now? It's been a month, I miss my family" "Nonono, hold on, let me read this document"

[@sugoistalin7809]

It sounds to me like Parkzer has something to hide. Almost like... HE DOESN'T HAVE BLOOD!!

[@kirillsniff9133]

or shit 😮

[@saltygibus5746]

Tbh, we haven't seen him and a toilet in the same room at the same time...

[@Blastia2k]

He does drink a lot of water

[@Justin-gi3el]

I was losing brain cells watching this live 😂 So basically, it was the best stream

[@valeriecox9000]

i also saw this live, i havent been the same since

[@mr_koko2070]

I dunno, all streams that doug calls parkzer in are hilarious

[@retronymph]

lost so many brain cells you spelled basically like that

[@Justin-gi3el]

@@retronymph lol. English isn't my first language 😉 I'm trying my best 😄

[@mr.azizsshitposts]

Is there a vod up of this yet?

[@changedlater7707]

Parkzer being formal on every topic has unlimited potential

[@flockfighter]

The facts that these two are friends is my favorite thing about their friendship

[@silly-scribbles-yt]

"you are literally trolling" -Parkzer in every single DougDoug video ever

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

And he's right! Truly, a lawyer to rival Phoenix Wright.

[@exosproudmamabear558]

I think Parkzer is right in this subject. Like the whole concept of blood brothers ,although romantic(I am talking about romantising friendship loyalty rather than sexual love), is weird. And you could have weird shit in your blood hbv,hcv,Hiv,infections,anasplosmosis, CMV,certain parasites etc. that can transmit to other person and you may not have symptoms they could have stay asymptomatic in your body(such as hbv,hcv,hiv and malaria) because your immune system is perfectly fine and dandy to suppress them but other person may not be that lucky. But a shitpact on the other hand....

[@normalhuman9878]

If you think about it, a kiss is a saliva pact

[@exosproudmamabear558]

@@normalhuman9878 It needs to be pact to be pact. You need to promise something to be it a pact like a wedding kiss. You can say this for every shared object ever that represent a promise for example a proposal ring being a diamond pact.

[@Wired_User]

Yeah there’s a reason little kids get HPV vaccines early. They play around with blood and bite eachother and can catch HPV like that.

[@lavender3609]

@@exosproudmamabear558 I'm gonna start calling weddings a saliva pact now

[@exosproudmamabear558]

@@lavender3609 As you should be

[@WlatPziupp]

There's a form of fecal transplant you can do with just a pill, is this a low enough barrier of entry for Parkzer to accept the shit pact?

[@Marcelis]

rohypnol??

[@O2F2]

oh my god thats even worse

[@beoriginal1205]

I'm sorry I'm not taking a shit pill, I'll be doing the pact.

[@Lilly_King]

It's a suppository right? There's no way anyone is willing to eat shit on the casual.

[@WlatPziupp]

@@Lilly_King Nope. Down the gullet. But it's just bacteria cultures extracted from the dookie, not a tiny turd stuffed in a capsule

[@deconyus3412]

Parkzer's comedy points were stacked in the Dry Straight Man category and Doug's Cartoon Chaos God of Trickery's class mixes so well with his it really brings out the best of their abilities.

[@ordinaryrat]

Ways to merge talents: "Business Partnerships" - 🤓 "Working Together" - 🤓 SHIT PACT - 🗿

[@jstar3382]

"It would be so much cheaper if we went ass to ass" I don't know if this is worse with or without context

[@placeholderdoe]

It would be artful so doug could do it on stream without breaking TOS

[@EEEEEEEE]

E

[@Otamatone69]

The blood pact, the shit pact, or the pee pact? or all of the above?

[@placeholderdoe]

@@Otamatone69 blood and shit, pee is too far.

[@Otamatone69]

@@placeholderdoe We live in a society.

[@persel_hd]

@@Otamatone69 We live on dirt, eh sorry Earth.

[@AH-uz3fx]

I love how he manipulates him by asking "Are you sure that's a risk you're willing to take?" when he tries to take the less risky option

[@YMandarin]

I love how Parkzer actually stays in the call for so long

[@evansblackparade]

the way doug talks about things like this like they are completely normal is my favorite thing

[@placeholderdoe]

Parkzer pretends to not know Tom Brady but Parkzer and Tom Brady have never been seen in the same room. Parkzer is Tom Brady?

[@EF-kk3vh]

Probably

[@lizardqueen273]

The film "80 For Brady" makes so much more sense with this in mind

[@xaviersavard6343]

Luckily disneyland has a new bloodletting blood pact queue.

[@jasonkeith2832]

Is that the new fastpass? Or is that the price for an annual pass?

[@906robot9]

​@jasonkeith2832 ask Simon, he seems to go there often

[@cyanthrope]

dougdoug's passive insanity is so funny to me, a chatter says something one-off about a blood pact and it turns out he really and genuinely already tried to talk parkzer into one??? Like I thought it was a bit until it was obvious parkzer knew exactly what he meant when he referenced the blood pact idea

[@Gracosef]

I need a Parkzer in my life

[@stigmaoftherose]

I will be your parkzer if you can be my dougdoug.

[@psl109]

​@@stigmaoftherose weewooweewoo

[@mamoon304]

If you become dougdoug for that guy can I be your twitch chat

[@Gracosef]

@@stigmaoftherose 😳😳😳

[@Gracosef]

@@mamoon304 of course

[@showd6229]

It’s so interesting to me, because you can clearly see how different parkzer is from when we first met him, it was like he was never on the internet before, now he sounds like me lol.

[@dxtrum]

"you are literally trolling" I'm both sad and glad he's learning

[@owne6609]

What a fucking amazing video. Please never stop streaming Doug.

[@TeqnifiiToo]

The shit pact is perfect for THE SHIT KING 👑

[@shogoyo788]

I unironically think dougdoug is the side character now. Basically in every stream, the main character is Ai, chat and/or parkzer, etc. while dougdoug is like a DM or something.

[@TheWagonroast]

Forgot about chair

[@Anon13430]

Parkzer is like a 911 operator, he is legally not allowed to hang up

[@grandbean9031]

Doug finally got him. Parkzer entered a call without saying "Hello Douglass Douglass". This is a win even without a blood/shit pact.

[@hobodonut5645]

there's a moment at 1:06 where someone says "this feels like a clips channel moment" Perfect.

[@PhosphorescentSoul]

"Jackie Chan got a shit transplant from Chris Tucker...or was it Tucker Carlson?" 😂

[@Sodlanere]

When are they going to admit their love for each other…

[@CarpetHater]

This is like those romantic anime where it takes over 3 seasons and 20 episodes before they actually become a couple.

[@rubberduck8096]

Doug does it all the time. Most of these calls end with "bye Parkzer, love you".

[@sugoistalin7809]

Parkzers just tsundere.

[@Sodlanere]

@@rubberduck8096 but Parkzer never reciprocates

[@idontneedaname318]

​@@Sodlanereheartbreaking, truly

[@Teauma]

Parkzer is Doug's straight man, Doug is chat's straight man. And I guess in some ways, Chat is Parkzer's straight man. That's how it all balances out.

[@ActuallyAthena]

Pokemon

[@breadboygamingwholegrain]

rock paper scissors

[@allieginter8438]

Chat is not anyone's straight anything

[@HarlesCIIAAL]

4 minutes in, i actually cannot believe that there are 10 minutes left in this conversation

[@willwin4744]

I love how it seems Parkzer is ready at all moment to answers a call from DougDoug

[@aubergine1086]

2:08 “if two women scissor while on their periods does that make them blood sisters” i’m so disgusted but i think that’d be true 💔

[@JadeTheIdiot184]

:(

[@scalemerald]

technically period blood isnt normal blood its the uterine wall or something, so maybe menstruation mutuals works better and why the fuck am i debating this idea so much

[@Funkbot_]

@@scalemeraldgo on

[@AeyakS]

Is there such thing as a _um, pact? Seems so likely that it could happen without anyone noticing.

[@Luvilli]

​@@AeyakSfrotting maybe?

[@dweebdraws]

Shoutout to RagingWolf12 in the chat at 3:34 “I’m so glad this won’t be on KZbin” 💀

[@benjaminoechsli1941]

The question is, was Wolf being selfish, or protective? Either way, F.

[@ODISeth]

If this was a sponsored stream this is the best advertisement for Shadow of Doubt

[@iamnot9541]

I just realized that Doug to Parkzer is just like Chat to Doug

[@hexagonalmann7495]

That was probably the most "HUH?" moment I have ever watched live on a DogDog stream. I literally audibly said "HUH?!?!" while watching it so much

[@blazetigerfang7797]

8:00 The fact that Doug actually included the game's Steam store page is fucking hilarious

[@DrKoneko]

We love parkzer and we also potentially feel bad for him

[@__mik__1992]

is this why the shuffler kept telling people to shit in him?

[@redred7702]

These are the kind of friendships that transcend time and space LMAO

[@ValueNetwork]

I love how Doug literally just gave up and let Parkzer take over the conversation half way through. He truly has perfected comedy!

[@castiolare]

I love the dynamic Parkzer and Doug have. This is the kind of friendship I want.

[@ramblingdeviant4855]

The whole “One sec” bit had my lungs HURTING in laughter 😂

[@bubbagamer7275]

I feel like this video was like a mini HBomberGuy video. I checked how much of the video was left, assuming it was going to end soon, and I saw that I was only 4 minutes and 36 seconds into the 14 minute video. The Blood Pact was only the hook; I could never have known the twists that were in store.

[@aH00man]

And now we'll never know if he was going to agree to a pee pact

[@AnotherFunnyLittleGuy]

I don't think I've ever seen Parkzer break character like at 1:35

[@Blubbii88]

Sometimes it's incredible how doug can spin the narritive as if parkzer, the most reasoable people, sounds ridiculous to not do something completely stupid. Thanks parkzer, you bring so many laughs to the videos.

[@boodstain]

Doug is always trying to tell Chat they're out of control or wrong, but then the moment Parkzer is thrown into the equation he'll totally be on board with some random chatter screaming "SHIT PACK!!!" like he's discovered a new periodic element.

[@SpectraVolta]

I swear Doug inflicts mental whiplash and an exhaustion debuff to Parkzer with every conversation they have

[@cyanthrope]

every time parkzer responds to doug's insanity I hear "CAAAAAAAAARL THAT *KILLS* PEOPLE! CAAAARL!"

[@coolguy27]

2 Boys One Pact

[@victorrealm7698]

aint no way..

[@TheLastArbiter]

3:03 you can see the exact moment that Doug questions his life choices which led him to uttering this sentence

[@modulusshift]

Honestly Doug has definitely "one sec"'d most of chat through multiple programming streams lmao

[@Zyodl]

a safer bet would be to do a piss pact instead

[@AamitRudberg]

"I have two words for you:" "why do you hate me?" "PEE PACT"

[@ziebelzubel]

This is my new favourite interaction between them. I love their dynamic so much, we need to protecc Parkzer at all cost (from Doug)

[@BigDogBandit]

Are people actually so young that no one knows what blood brothers are? Why was everyone confused? I thought this was common knowledge?

[@casanovafiems1508]

I know right? I know nothing about media and such and still knew this.

[@fire-blade354]

I love how Doug's community is so deep into being insane at this point that the title of this video implies that Parkzer would need a reason for not doing a blood pact, I mean IT'S A FUCKING BLOOD PACT

[@utelvescaro1998]

This was the wrong video to watch while eating dinner

[@kali_kali_kali_]

At first i was extremely curious whether Parkzer was doing a bit or not with his character but now i'm persuaded that's just how he is and he's awesome for this

[@gavinvisser54]

"ass to ass" is fucking hillarious

[@candycandy2230]

Thank you Luka and Doug. For my starring role as "Dude who knows about shadows of doubt". I look foward to my invation to the live viewing of the shit pact!

[@sirsentry1769]

All I want is a supercut of all interactions between Doug and Parkzer on stream and video

[@OneFloofyBooper]

I love that as soon as Parkzer says that DougDoug's follows don't live in his excrement, everyone in twitch chat unanimously decided that they do in fact live in his excrement

[@wardenActual]

Parkzer is my spirit animal I swear

[@anonymous71207]

He is not your spirit animal nor any kind of animal. Even if he was, you did not ask him permission to become spirit animal pack members.

[@user-sv5kt8qz3v]

humans are animals​@@anonymous71207

[@tournesol99]

@@anonymous71207Wrong, Parkzer is technically an animal, just not a spiritual one.

[@Ezkanohra]

No, we’re scrapping the basement idea. We live in your shit.

[@panickyandy8291]

Dog and Parkzer's friendship is so great, they're my new model for a great friendship

[@camille0826]

They are a perfect example of opposites attract their personalities are like the sun and moon 😂

[@_.Dylan._]

“Your followers don’t live in your excrement” is such a hard line by Parkzer

[@Ace_Maus]

Parkzer is like a demon or genie hating on the person who summoned him who won't ask him for anything but won't end the contract either

[@jltg34]

I used to think Parkzer just had uber autism, but now I also think he's a comedic genius.

[@austinwilburn1772]

God I love Parkzer so much. He is such a comic genius that he doesn’t even realize it.

[@Pokets]

Parkzer is probably my favorite DougDoug character.

[@getektuvzu29]

Not character but a person of gun

[@HunterAllyn]

Parkzer and Doug are the masters of "No, and" comedy

[@LordTreeLP]

13:00 I was expecting doug to tell Parkzer to be quite again because he is on the phone

[@angelofdeath7207]

Shouldve asked about a semen pact or a saliva pact...not...for any...particular reasons

[@kirby_on_stuff]

the semen goes though each others bodies

[@Tralfazz74]

This is exactly the right video to introduce people to Doug with

[@michaelahuss2123]

This had me chortling oh my gosh lol 🤣 Doug and Parkzer have the best friendship ever, even without a blood-pact…or any other type of pact.

[@nagliskisielius3643]

Every time doug calls parkzer i feel genuinly bad for parkzer for how much doug torments him and still being nice.

[@Rizz3n]

I love how this channel became a spinoff channel by now haha