Why the Narcissist Must Devalue You?

[@beedabee1221]

They’ll destroy themselves trying to destroy you. Stay away! Do not even think you’re able to stand against them. Just uphold your self respect and walk away

[@leeleenaka5323]

So true! I noticed as soon as he started devaluing, he started spiraling out of control in his life. Their judgement becomes very screwed when they enter this phase.

[@annemccarron2281]

Both my mother-in-laws stayed with these abusers. Both my grandparents did as well. How a person can allow a narcissist to abuse them for decades is beyond me. A woman of my grandparents generation divorced her husband before her second child was even born. Divorce was not common then. She told everyone, including her children he died. They knew he did not, but never once confronted their mother about it & let her die thinking they believed their father had died.

[@RichardJamesStayAtHomeDad]

Narcs should just be poly and exist amongst themselves and leave the rest of the world alone

[@rosatrula]

They'll never do that. They don't want us to realise how crap they are by finding something better

[@CandaceShanise]

Narcissist are absolutely the most dizzying, exhausting, and psychologically exasperating beings on the planet. So glad my final divorce hearing is around the corner. 18 years of this crap -- makes a lot more sense now. Wow! Thanks HG for making it all make sense.

[@lkreyche]

Congrats to you, and I hope it goes well. My experience was many years ago, but I have never gotten over it, unfortunately. I hope that you will. I still have so many regrets about the years I wasted with a man who never even thought of me as a separate individual. It just proves that you can wait till the age of 31 to get married and still make a huge mistake. I also recommend the books by Patricia Evans on verbal abuse. She was a pioneer, and her books told my life story with my tormentor. Don't look back, be well.

[@jalex3645]

@@lkreyche sweetie. Don't waste another minute on the past and have no regrets, you now know better and you WILL be better, stronger next time around. I wasted 7 years and wow what a freedom, its unbelievable how much I have accomplished after one day it was clear I just didn't like vanilla any more.

[@lterrey]

18yrs...? I lasted 6mths before I started googling "crazy shit she does"!

[@rawone9158]

All this means my last 11 years was fake. It's so so sad. I love her. That was real. I was real. She was so bad and fake. I'm going Bass fishing. Bass fishing always helps.

[@Benjy1]

fuck her go catch some bass

[@no89lan3]

Same time as me. It's like a nightmare.

[@Bob-zh6dw]

11 years for me too. I knew she was cheating again so I left her while she was at work. She married new supply within 4 months. He was recently divorced and very vulnerable. How pathetic!

[@Dtella55]

Got rid of a BPD/narcissism/psychopathy and a narcissist reeled him in at church...he went through hell and got the same he did to me...after draining my finances and tried to destroy...still stalking me non-stop for 3.6 years breaking into my home and car and stealing...always more around the holidays...stole important documents...clothing and jewelry...possibly undercover bis*xual/DL...now he major hoovering to come back after losing home/business/money/investments...he now has 3 child support and alimony and lost his main job and now a low paying job...

[@real_hello_kitty]

Benjy fuck her means continuing relationship. 😂

[@michaelheflin360]

Try explaining this shit to somebody who hasn’t been through it this is so spot on great video

[@JJ-iq8mi]

I hope Prince Harry is listening 😉

[@debbiebyrum5636]

no one truly understands unless they've lived it; and have listened to H.G. to really hear the harsh reality of who they are!

[@ntombifuthiyika5975]

Most coaches I've listened to say narcissist karma is that they will never know the meaning of true love. I don't think they even crave it. They can't crave what they don't know. It must be karma for us who love freely and receive love to be entangled with a narcissist. I've been entangled with narcissists all my life I'm asking God whether I was created to be used and abused. I put others first and only end up with people who put themselves first too. I have accepted that I will never get love in it's purest form. I just want to heal completely and never be ensnared ever again.

[@ms.x1669]

This resonates with me so much!

[@xoxo-vp7ww]

You’ll be surprised by how much respect you’ll garner by putting yourself first. Putting others first might feel like a noble act, but it’s really a disservice (exhausting) and sets the precedent for an imbalance in the relationship. IMO, self-love is what we’re all seeking because it’s the only love that truly knows our hearts desires. Fill your cup and only give away the overflow that runs over. Stay encouraged and most importantly take great care ...of yourself! 🌻

[@lynncrf]

In order to experience love you need to go for someone different who you wouldn't normally be interested in. It might feel boring because they are not sending roses to your office after the second date, but it's less likely to end up as a narc situation.

[@philippawallace-dunlop5582]

I truly believe time can heal this too, like scar tissue the memory will become part of the scenery and no longer be the eyesore devastating the whole scene. Wishing you well

[@lena-Ramone]

PUT YOURSELF FIRST ❤❤

[@rozsteelcity1539]

For the love of God...the ice cream analogy just struck me like a bat upside the head 😵 and I can envision how this played out every single damn time throughout my 6.5 years with the narcissist........

[@netrap9937]

Same I didn't watch n can't wut did it explain here? Plz?..

[@glenniirudman4609]

I completely understand now. I’m just a high quality ice cream to a narcissist.🍦

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Just do not melt.

[@gb2556]

ET

[@av1550]

It means they also like napolitain and the other hundreds of flavours. She kept you in the fridge for a rainy day!!

[@lilyasknegt]

I think it also has to do with how their brain is wired: feeling love and bonding in commitment is lacking in a narcs brain, specially one with psychopathy. The other thing is: finding New sexual fuel is a predatory addictive behavior: once you are had, they will inevitably without feeling real love, appriciation or gratitude, have to put u aside, to taste another. They cant admit u were good, the right one, cause they need to be predatory, moving on to New prey

[@explorer0213]

Yes said in cohesive language stead of all the nonsense about ice cream..shows how f@cked their minds are for sure.

[@tomastorasen9164]

This is a female fallacy. Men and women are not wired the same when it comes to sex. Read up on oxytocin released due to intercourse between men and women. Men need to bond to the women on other terms. Sex is just sex to us. It's not a release of bonding hormone that makes us feel deep love and bond.

[@amandab262]

Makes a certain amount of sense. Strawberry ice cream cannot suddenly become chocolate or vanilla or rocky road. All it can be is what it is. And what it is can never satisfy the narcissist. Pay attention folks. You can never satisfy the narcissist. GOSO.

[@TurinTurumba]

It's so sickening, it's repulsive

[@MB-Sparkles]

This is THE. MUST. HEAR. Video!

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Fucking A!

[@ladyvirtue650]

@@hgtudor-theultra I think I'm Falling in Love with you..smiles

[@joannemcevoy4232]

@@hgtudor-theultra I haven't heard that phrase in a while!

[@knoble1985]

I'm an appliance im strawberry ice cream. Whats my voltage tho?

[@icingcake]

Agree!

[@Julieta1078]

This was the missing piece for my puzzle, thank you!

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are. welcome.

[@6870slim]

Please don’t give him too much praise… lol It could be dangerous Lol No seriously thank them for helping but keep them at arms length always

[@marie60790]

Wow, my mind is blown from these dirty secrets. Thank you again for sharing.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

My pleasure!

[@theresefournier3269]

@@hgtudor-theultra Lovely!

[@nightmareappliance]

No matter how many times I listen to your videos HG… I become more and more aware of the narcissist world and perspective and it makes sense. I must have listened to this ten times before and still listen to remind myself of the narc perspective ♥️

[@Zarasha1]

This makes so much sense. Every four months something happens and he cut me off. He was back every four months. Than he was gone again. The thing about him is that when he is around he gives me no air. He wants to be with me 24 hours a day. No wonder he got bored with me. I honestly enjoyed the space I got when we argued and stopped talking for months. He won't even let me sleep. When we stopped talking that was always the best sleep I got. I don't blame narcissist for getting tired of the same person. They too clingy and don't understand giving their partner space. One time he called and I didn't answer back in 30 minutes, and I got discarded for months for that. He didn't even wait for me to explain to him I was helping my son with his homework. I wounded him so he discarded me for months.

[@gillh405]

I didn't realise I had that question until you gave the answer

[@lazuritekitten]

You are my favorite narcissist, and I think what you're doing, exposing the blueprint of the inner workings while obtaining your supply along the way is brilliant. 😋

[@utahcindy4114]

My narc at some point devalued me and then his behavior changed so I dumped him. But I think he wanted me to dump him so he didn't look like the bad guy. What a POS.

[@user-ue8mp7dt7q]

They got so many other options, if you notice a change and put your foot down, they don't care, they wont do it for you but if you tell them you dislike their sudden change of attitude, they just say oh well ok if tou dont loke it then fk off. They don't give a dam. But they not going to do it first, not if you're part of their pathetic little game. But they can afford to loose a hit or two now problem. They are idiots. Fuel driven idiots. If you stand back and look at them, you will realise it is exactly like a drug addict. They are parting with something to hook them in, but they themselves don't realise this because they are like crack heads, anything for a fix. A crack head doesn't remember robbing a house if he scores and gets high, he only remembers getting high, or even that is vague. Its driven behaviour. Desperate times desperate measures they need that fuel chasing the dragon.

[@mattiematthews9310]

This is truly sick. My God I'm glad i am free.

[@jodeneny2252]

"No one can snatch you out of my hands" Jesus rescues us from evil. Praise be Jesus Christ.

[@disdroid-iq9787]

I just disengage immediately, the devaluation doesn't usually escalate after that.

[@dawnemile4974]

Narcissists seem to have a form of bi-polar disorder. When they are florid, they find a new supply because their senses are elevated and almost anyone they notice appears better than they are. Then they go into their downward spiral and the person slowly loses their brilliance in their eyes. If they start again on their elevated mood, they notice someone else and so the cycle continues.

[@demigaines5644]

I Was In A Toxic Abusive Relationship With An Overt. Narcissistic Person. He Began Breaking Me Down Within 2 Weeks Of The Relationship.. This Person Brutally Abused Me.Months And Years Of The Silent Treatment.He Would Come Around Only 2 Use Me .Back To The Silent treatment Narcissistic Abuse Is Painful .Horrible Lifelong Abuse...

[@Dtella55]

They can keep the mask on until they get what they want from you draining all your finances..mental...physical...lies...deception...master manipulation...gaslighting...

[@msdemeanour]

I hope you escaped this creep.

[@nuwanda3333]

Your voice is so magnetic, it's not fair. I feel like I'm coming back to this channel to reopen old wounds.

[@LaShawndra.Gilbert]

I thought it was just me! It’s like I’m being made fun of! 😢

[@ThePratima89]

It's the truth about these narcissistic people, everyone should have this knowledge.

[@heatherr4825]

Thanks for putting this into words. I knew it must have been something like this... never a moment passed to jump on the negative, but kindness would be routinely ignored. Now I understand why. Thanks, HG. Happy Friday to you 😁

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are welcome.

[@jonathanspencer5078]

The analogy with the ice cream is the best assimilation to behavior I’ve ever heard.

[@appletree6898]

I really felt like he kept attacking me because he was bored, but that seemed so strange that I couldn't accept it. Since he once seemed to care about me, I kept looking for something deeper and some way to help. But I guess my first instinct was actually right.

[@clienttraveler5885]

So easily explained… I’ve finally gotten my life under control now because of HG. So many thanks! 😊

[@joannemcevoy4232]

This makes sense using the ice cream analogy. It pisses me off to hear how all of this comes about. The IPPS gets it the worst of everyone. Why would the narcissist bother to have an IPPS then if he/she is only going to grow bored of them? It is not as though they are going to remain faithful in any circumstance. I am aware that the narcissist needs a principal source to feed off so to speak but knowing that the primary source is essentially doomed at the outset doesn't make it easier to grasp this.

[@anghays123]

IPPS is a part of the facade as well, so...

[@idah3806]

I think this is the best explanation I've heard.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I agree.

[@LisaTravis-m7e]

I was too boring and predictable after 23 yrs. Though I truly loved him, one can only show excessive adoration and extreme attentiveness for so long. I was comfortable in growing old with him, and looking forward to my retirement to have more "fun times"

[@Wb-is8wi]

The „passion“ fruit ice cream - literally 🤣

[@browngirl1425]

Mines did it every four days. I caught on and pulled away asap! The new supply can go through the cycle.

[@utahcindy4114]

Unfortunately he was with someone else the other 3 days. That's how they roll.

[@lynnthibedeau8872]

So true what he is saying. If you really think about it. You could keep doing your loving things. They get bored. Good luck narc. Been done for 3 years. I am not coming back and NEVER WILL.

[@td2968]

Any relationship in the beginning is a golden period, when people first meet they're on their best behaviour and thats normal but narcs are excessive, narcs know the routine, they know every relationship they enter starts golden but is bound to end thus why they have a harram of supply and monkey branch so they aren't left without fuel. After a few months ( love bombing) the narcs mask starts slipping and their partner starts to see all the little red flags that narcs exhibit. No narc discards good supply, if you are discarded its because you weren't providing good fuel for them, calling them out on their bs, seeing them for who they really are ,exposing them and they fear abandonment so to protect their ego they leave first. Majority of people leave the narc first believe it or not and the ones the narc discards first always seem to be that their partner was either a narc as well or a person with very low self esteem.

[@jasmine8872]

Thank you for sharing, HG. You need every piece of the puzzle to complete the puzzle, and you help with this. May be on opposite sides of the spectrum but if I want to hear it from anyone, black and white; it would be you. Again, thank you for sharing.

[@Vixinaful]

If one asks why the devaluation must happen, you havent understood narcissism at all.

[@helenadamson5542]

Thanks HG, I wish I had known this, 30 years ago. Narcissists the Bain of my life, as it was. Now I’ve done the work, I’m writing a book on the Somatic Narcissist.

[@Peepers2]

Quite nauseating behaviours for sure!

[@lisadeee1343]

This is going to sound really bad but here goes anyway ... I could taste another flavour of ice cream when he kissed me when ex midrange would come home from ‘work’ ... he’s a nasty piece of work 😤

[@Dtella55]

@@angieabernethy573 😂😂🤣🤣

[@violetab3750]

😂

[@BinaBina221]

😢😤😡

[@bluedogfish2]

I guess he got off on that …. Wow

[@stevefulmer6137]

You definitely know your narcissism through and through lol. You break things down so well, interesting, and very accurately. Good work

[@nellsmith9721]

Lol mine went from a supposed family man to a pilled up drugged up raving nightmare with .... yes another flavour ice cream lol ... GOOD !! Thanks HG

[@user-np2ps5nu5r]

😃😃

[@simontough1480]

Absolutely horrifying to hear but it’s necessary in healing...Thanks HG it was good to hear this and answered a lot of questions....I’m glad I discarded before I was......

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are welcome.

[@dot.888]

Love the ice cream~metaphor, makes it very understandable 🎼

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Good to read. Do share the video to assist others.

[@dot.888]

@@hgtudor-theultra I already do. Can’t stand it anymore to hear some channels talk about “Decency” when talking about how the empath’s response and attitude should be no matter what 😡. Harsh & Drastic seems to me way more appropriate.

[@cayotelives]

that explains why distant uncle so piss with me and his family. I cut all their supplies and other other relatives followed. I was first to who wanted equal treatment . hahaha Godspeed. I pretty much hold the throne now. Physically and financially

[@Blondie2.0]

Smh...Narcissist are sick,sick. Where do you come from? What made you? Just pure EVIL

[@infinitetundra]

I have noticed how everyone has left my Lesser Mother and Mid Range Sister. Is this the Fate of a Narcissist?

[@zawadeighiaesthetic3915]

Yes at the end they will be alone starting around 40 years old unless any are handing out money but that interaction has to be short for the person receiving the money or gifts

[@av1550]

Not too sure of that! I’ve seen many with lifelong relationships and some even with the same primary source their entire life.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

@@av1550 yep!!

[@zeezlouiz33]

@@zawadeighiaesthetic3915 What do you mean? Do they come back to these short term sources after they discard them?

[@ms.x1669]

I certainly think so.

[@johnnieking8283]

Thank you HG! This video has help me very much!

[@vmm5163]

Sounds like Narcissists would get the best fuel from other Narcissists if they don't like stable behaviour from a normal partner

[@SpliffyMeister]

They are not keen enough, and would fear being out done by the other narc...would depend in what traits they have lol would be interesting to watch lol

[@JJ-iq8mi]

Too much like hard work.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Yep!

[@adriananeri3288]

Yes, they like minor narcs, are the best suppliers

[@ddseir1443]

Well as a secondary / shelf appliance , I got the long golden period but then got devalued anyway. I think it definitely had to do with my reaction once I realized something’s off. If I had been obedient and stayed on my shelf, I don’t think I was destined for devaluation.

[@TurinTurumba]

Definitely, once you act outside of the script they've written for U, it's punishment time

[@katimaines4361]

I can’t read HG’s analysis of Narcissistic parents without taking a Xanax. Never made it thru yet.

[@lucyhall526]

I think you are freaking phenomenal! I feel like this is what my syncros were leading up to for the last 2 weeks with my spiritual guides, showing me specific numbers that being a Numerologist, Astrologist, Tarot Reader, being born into a Ancestral family that came over from Northwestern Europe to settle in the several Southern Appalachian States and learn from the Cherokee and the African Voodoo religion, Hoodoo is the magics that was taught. I'm part Cherokee, German, Scottish, and English of course. I was guided here and I know why now! You were meant to do this on YT my friend! I'm going to try and watch as many videos tonight as possible! You know what's up!💫💯💜🌕🌑☝☀😏

[@real_hello_kitty]

Northwest Europe influences ancestry = demon = narcissist.

[@hopeinhumanity.]

I thought of it as a need to change their inner state because boredom appears to be a common feature among them. And like many other addictions, they find a means to get the high to change their state (as opposed to achieving it through healthier means).

[@sk.n.9302]

Excellent explanation.

[@louiseyoung1720]

This makes a lot of sense

[@marykf3325]

Thank you for making this type of behaviour crystal clear. It was an excellent analogy. Your method of making one understand what and why things are happening is invaluable. In one case of a person with narcissistic traits in my family (can't decide if she was truly a narcissist or not) I wish I had found your channel sooner. It would have assisted in keeping my exasperation and other emotions at bay by understanding the behaviour. I may have had a better relationship with her but maybe that is just wishful thinking.

[@Jezebel066]

This is so hurtful. But I know it’s true. I see how little I mean to him now. I always assumed he was reallt a good man underneath it all.. I won’t give him any more strawberry ice cream. I take it. Even tho I was discarded, I take it back now My narc is prob one of the highest on the scales. And one of the best.. everyone adores him. Most of my familt won’t believe me. Besides the one who I confided in throughout marriage.

[@Mrsweetheart81]

When you heal, and learn narcissism, they are almost comical beings and easily manipulated if that’s your thing. Run away and never look back.

[@tammycooper7569]

This is the best one video so far.

[@Rondy0328]

I went on a fruit based diet 30 years ago. I still have a hard time eTing fruit to this day. I totally get this.

[@GMarieBehindTheMask]

People Don't Treat People Like This.

[@Urban_Piggy]

Oh but they do! look at Hollywood! They shouldn’t...but they do....

[@mariascarfone983]

ok. that was THE GROSSEST thing i have ever heard. how inhumane, selfish, purely off the human charts. i need a goddamn shower to get over that!! fuck!

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I know, I feel the same way when someone hugs me. Disgusting, selfish and inhumane.

[@Urban_Piggy]

But aren’t you glad (and cleaner) now that you know?

[@solidcatink]

It was enough to do my head in, and I told him as such. No wonder he disengaged. I was sick and tired of trying to decode him, and got fed up with him too.

[@chrisliv8973]

And why does the narcissist have to push living together so early in the relationship? My ex narc cried and begged and did a sympathy symphony with fake tears and everything trying to manipulate me into moving in with him. I think he must have practiced that little show for at least a week before going for the Oscar nomination. I swear.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

Controle!!

[@corriemitchell6031]

Excellent analogy, explaining exactly what I went through with my ex. My devaluation was long, 32 years together.

[@william3897]

Perfect analogy. Well explained. I shall be in touch with you soon for multiple sessions. I have a task I’m sure you are the perfect coach for it.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I shall await your communication William and look forward to assisting you.

[@6870slim]

Thank you HG You actually comparing OUR fuel the strawberry ICE CREAM GROWN IN GODS GARDEN!! Your DAMN Right!! I know you’re talking about how lower levels see is not YOU.. But still We are ❤

[@psychologycontact9921]

Dear HGT, Loving all this. Thank you. If this has been not covered already (I have not seen all the videos yet, but I will), it would be GREAT to understand why the parent must devalue the child, even as an adult, but esp. as a child. I imagine the reason is completely different to the ice cream analogy. For instance both my N parents (divorced) are relatively isolated, having run off everyone, and so it seems they each have to devalue the child in the desperate attempt for power. This really shows in the desperate old person who is on devalue mode from the outset.

[@passion8princess261]

Wow H.G , and I thought I was the only one left on the planet that loved "Rum Raisin", not many people do. Lol

[@real_hello_kitty]

I do love rum raisin too. 🍨 😋

[@lc4972]

Never had it, but it sounds really good!

[@philipburdick8160]

The scary part about all of this is she said she was worried about partners experiencing "diminishing returns" and eventually revealing concerns about everything else on the list; being "transactional" , giving the "silent treatment", etc.,etc. The "victim" thinks, well it won't be that way with me...(operating under their "value system"). It's as if the narcissist knows exactly what narcissistic behavior is and they are always on the alert that it not happen to them while exuding the exact behavior they are wary on their "victims" (although perhaps it's better to say "willing participants"?)

[@HELLO-iq5rb]

A truly excellent video. From my perspective, it's your best and answered many questions. Thank you for your excellent work. (Hope you enjoyed that small amount of fuel H G? )

[@6870slim]

I think in my dealing with lower level narcissists I mean full on NPD with (cathera?) or level if you will of the crybaby narcissist will devalue you out of NECESSITY they need to lower your vibration to their level of comfort in order to 1st attain homeostasis with their external and internal environment… and once that’s done they will have you primed to gain fuel to meet their fuel requirements It’s sad 😢 ❤

[@alannarutter5033]

I always wondered whether my psychotic narcissistic sister could do with a psychiatric treatment...Isn't there anything that would be helpful, like a therapy? I had to leave her behind as she would never accept that anything was wrong. In fact, she projected that on me instead.

[@fingerscrossed2453]

I'm sorry to hear about this. Does she want therapy? Has been hospitalised or arrested?

[@rumplestiltskin3028]

You don't get my banana split when you are out eating old waffle cones. This isn't Baskin Robins-You need to earn my flavors.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

I have heard about your banana split you rascal!

[@rumplestiltskin3028]

@@hgtudor-theultra oh HG, you know false flattery will get you nowhere. I haven't served my banana split enough times for word to travel THAT far. Though it IS the best...😏🍌🍧

[@voulapetrakos7508]

Mine too over 40years of marriage to the man I loved and respected I could see how controlling especially over the money never ever helped with our six children he was against me getting some help cleaning the v large house once a month to clean the house .always worked as much ass I could with the business nothing was ever enough for him in 2020after returning from overseas I happened to pick his phone up and told him it was unlocked and it took me to his text five minutes before I walked into the house I couldn’t believe what I was reading it was from our sons marriage ther n law I asked him since when u and she have been friends and talking that’s when he went off like a nut the following day I wouldn’t let it go he was accusing me of sleeping around I couldn’t believe what he was saying I asked him r u crazy and told him no dr can help him he needs to go see our priest for exorcism our marriage was over since four years ago and he didn’t want me also little did I know he has hidden all of the money going through a nasty divorce has turned the grown kids against me they enabled there dad for the money he has and don’t believe dad could cheat dumb asses that’s not the way I raised these kids there’s something there I just can’t pin point it 👎 would ever return to the same life I was living I believed it was good but between me and my husband soon to be ex hopefully 🙏 was not that great I truly believe this started in 2006!!! Hope our lord will give me strength to carry on 🙏

[@lotusflower7597]

Such sick people!

[@laughingwaters8309]

I'm fairly certain my ex is a mid-level range narcissist with borderline traits. He behaves very similarly to Michael on The Office if you know about that show. He's smarter than Michael, but there is a very strong correlation in his demeanor and behaviors. Anyway, he definitely devalued me mostly through the silent treatment and cold as ice indifference/hostility toward me. When I attempted to assert my independence in an effort to break free from co-dependence things escalated into hostility, sabotage and sometimes fits of rage. I almost lost my mind. The one thing I do find a bit odd is I am 95% certain he never had an affair. I'm not naive...there is just absolutely no evidence at all during our 27 year marriage. Is this possible? Do all narcissists cheat?

[@judyjones6304]

He was a skilled liar.

[@kauffrau6764]

Amazing - thank you - now I understand. Very clear analysis.

[@theresacabrera8378]

Well done sir!! Perfectly explained 👏👏👏 tell us more...

[@filsed]

So I was just a tasty ice cream? Happy to make it alive.

[@brigidosullivan5704]

Fascinating, truly fascinating.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are welcome.

[@brigidosullivan5704]

@@hgtudor-theultra I apologise for my sometimes facetious remarks, I am actually very grateful for what I am learning and once I can I will be availing myself of your paid services which I think will help even more.

[@LordKaydenBreak]

Thanks for doing this HG I just subscribed! Your ice cream analogy makes it so much easier to understand! But if my midrange narc ex ‘liked it’ when I switched from strawberry to triple choc (negative fuel), why did he use the excuse of ‘you creating an argument is tiring me out’ in his manipulative dismissal? If he liked it shouldn’t he had enjoyed me arguing with his bull$h1t pretzel logic? He even called the 2 months I stayed quiet when he broke promises and crossed my boundaries (instead of confronting/asking for accountability as usual) ‘peaceful months’ like he actually enjoyed it?

[@yehmen29]

'Familiarity breeds contempt'. Now that I am a bit more experienced, when a narc love bombs me, I remember that he will eventually turn into 'Dicky' (in The Talented Mr Ripley) and declare me 'boring'. I've had a few narcissist bosses whose PAs (I was one of them) didn't last more than 6 months. In one case, I lasted 1 year, but that was because I was 'extremely difficult to get rid of', as the guy put it with resentment, i.e. I was too good at my job. He was one of the company's directors though (it was a small business) so I couldn't expect any help from the HR guy, as he was that guy's employee, and just counting the years before retirement. Being compared to strawberry ice cream is quite bizarre!

[@nightowl6260]

Bravo, HG!

[@cazhickling8151]

Step-by-step too understanding. Thank you H.G 👤

[@hgtudor-theultra]

You are welcome.

[@davidelliott9378]

Anybody else start laughing when HG starts listing the different flavours. 🤣

[@BethElyonOmegaX]

This about allegiance!

[@SheShe33]

Great analogy!

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Thank you.

[@dabnisbrickey6527]

This makes so much sense. Thank you.

[@heathermixson1265]

Interesting how you use foods....very insightful....my husband of 28 years seems to change his tastes in different foods occasionally, along with diet....and always says, "you KNOW I love that!! Why do you question me??" Duh. Lol....thanks HG!!!!

[@heathermixson1265]

The dead give away is he loves lemon meringue.....but all of a sudden dutch apple is now his favorite....🤣🤣🤣

[@BethElyonOmegaX]

There is an opportunity cost of fuel! Wow!

[@sophie-963]

Brilliant... thank you HG

[@jaredvaughan1665]

Alot of dating coaches teach to stay centered and not allow yourself to spend too much time with the other partner.

[@aslynnecaron3242]

HG this is well defined as all, is it fair to say the narcissists share extreme cases of short attention spans? As far as the shelves go it reminds me of Beehives.

[@hgtudor-theultra]

Well with regard to attention spans....ooh look a soul to eat.

[@real_hello_kitty]

HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist : Ultra yum 😋

[@LordKaydenBreak]

Aslyn, your narc might have co-occuring ADHD, just like my Nex. Its pretty common apparently. HG if you haven’t covered this please do

[@LordKaydenBreak]

Aslyn, your narc might have co-occuring ADHD, just like my Nex. Its pretty common apparently. HG if you haven’t covered this please do

[@April_Patrice]

Devaluation is just an illusion. Do narcissists prefer challenge/negative fuel?

[@Mllascelles1]

No they’d prefer you jump through hoops with positive affirmations *BUT* negativity is still energy as well.

[@Marie-AngeSalden]

A very good video. Thank you!

[@richellescott4308]

You got that right this was funny 😄

[@Urban_Piggy]

When I listened, all I could think was “Obviously, HG is going to get some backlash for being so upfront about how the er “lifestyle” that has chosen him has worked against others.” I don’t think everyone fully appreciates that nobody wakes up one day and decides they’d like to be a narcissist, anymore than these same people wake up wanting to be their toy or their bait. But, it seems you are able to create a better understanding of it all. 🤔

[@TheBeautifullife04]

Thank you so much for this comment. As hurt and angry as I am, I know he did not choose to be a narcissist. He did not choose to be a product of incest then the victim of physical, emotional and mental abuse. I grieved for him and his broken spirit for months while he devalued me, etc. I'm exhausted!