Why? vs Why Not? (And WHY I don't use WHY in the decluttering process)

Years ago, I had a mindset shift when a conversation with a friend revealed one big difference between how I viewed stuff and my home and the way she viewed stuff and her home. I'm sharing that shift, and how my five step decluttering process helps me finally have an answer to my own question of "Why not?" I also explain why the word "Why?" is harmful when helping others declutter.
Mentioned:
www.aslobcomesclean.com/book
www.aslobcomesclean.com/podcasts
My shirt: amazon.com/shop/aslobcomesclean

[@jameshuxley5531]

These videos are so useful in helping someone with early-stage dementia declutter. "Why do you need this?" questions lead to an overwhelming sense of confusion and loss, whereas "where would you look for this first?" takes us over to the container, and the container makes a decision for us. Thank you!

[@melissaclontz1]

This totally resonated with me. A few years ago, I realized just because something is cool and interesting doesn’t mean I have to acquire it.

[@kimbucha2949]

me too! it's really freeing now looking at things in the store and whatnot, and not buying them. Like enjoying a beautiful sunset or wild flowers, etc.

[@barbkandel777]

Yes! Now I ask myself - where will this live in my home and it usually doesn't come home. Success!

[@Ann.shecopeswithhope]

Yeeesss!

[@ingridcornwell4341]

I learned a long time ago that if I say, “oh, that’s cute!”, it does not mean I want it. And I’ve let my loved ones know that if they hear me say, “oh, that’s cute,” PLEASE DO NOT make a mental note of it as a gift. It’s worked wonderfully! (Now, “Ooo, I really like/love that” is still a problem, but I’m working on it. 😂)

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

Or if its beautiful, or i like it. I don't have to OWN it to enjoy or appreciate it!

[@kathleenj1158]

I've had a struggle for years with my mom hanging onto everything. It wasn't until I watched this video that I realized that she & I are having issues is simply because of me questioning why she wants to keep each item. I'm making her defensive, so she doesn't want to part with things. Thank you, Dana! 😊🙋‍♀️

[@darlenebergantzel1534]

OMG. This helped so much in understanding why my Mom refused to let go of anything when my sister and I were trying to help her declutter her home. We both kept asking ‘why do you need this’ or ‘why do you still have this’. She has duplicates, and sometimes even triplicates, of things, but always had a reason why she needs to have that many. Lesson learned for me.

[@seanagarrow7488]

WHY…have I not thought of this before?!? Helping my father go through years (& years) of paperwork would have me asking him “why” he wanted to keep very old receipts, statements, etc…(like, beyond 10yrs old)…He definitely responded with reasons “why” he wanted to keep it… I did NOT want to debate the validity in his answers (Who was I to do that with him?!?) No way!…That would seem disrespectful & uncaring of me to dispute something he felt had value. Keeping the “why” out of the conversation is brilliant!

[@dianecameron6270]

Dana, not only are you smart and creative - but you are very entertaining. You have such a great sense of humour. You are very funny. I actually Laugh out loud, by myself!

[@Kristemamber81]

I need you to know, you are saving my home and giving me the tools to restore PEACE here. Using your "Better is Good" mantra has changed EVERYTHING. I don't know why, but it was the total key. THANK YOU DANA!!!

[@mspcolman9179]

For me it was ‘You can keep anything; you just can’t keep everything.” Game changer. That and the lids on the Tupperware.

[@tamarapace3036]

"Better is good" my daughter, dil (daughter- n-law) and I love this saying!

[@hannahcrumley3103]

YES! Just telling myself to make it Better has been a game changer for me!

[@EMA616yo]

Wow, I never realized I’m a “why not” person! It really is a hard habit to break to stop bringing things home because they’re cool or pretty or just because I like them. It’s beef for me to stay out of stores, especially thrift stores (which are my favorite!) Now I only go if I have specific item I’m looking for to fill a need. And I usually end up putting some of the cool “why not” items back on the shelf before I check out.

[@glendaw5221]

Because of you I can now enjoy browsing and enjoying pretty things like you would in an art gallery. I don’t need to own everything I admire. I went shopping yesterday. I bought one pretty coffee mug (I had over-decluttered and had none for coffee in the morning), one baby gift, and one earring trinket box to replace one I had decluttered and regretted ($4). That may sound like a spree to some but I have definitely stuck to the one in one out rule. My clutter threshold is extremely low. And I’m still working on clothes. Onward and upward! Thanks Dana.

[@maryb-h980]

Thank you again Dana for being the one Jesus chose to show a 68yr old that her mindset could be changed 👍It's slow but definitely sure! Be blessed mxxx

[@TrinaRaysTrekofLife]

@Mary I love this! God is so good! He used Dana's greatest struggle and turned it into a tool to help her change and grow and to also allow her to break down the steps and be able to teach it to us, so that we can change and grow too!! Thank You Father!🙏 Thank you Dana for being willing to put yourself out there and to be used by God.

[@sherylgregory466]

Dana, I started watching you recently on the recommendation of Dawn @ The Minimal Mom and I am binge watching all your videos because I'm getting ready to move into a new house and I don't want to bring my habits with me. I have to say of all the decluttering, organizing, minimalist videos I've watched this is the first time I've heard strategy from someone who thinks like I do and it has been transformative!! I love how you do it all with humor so I get to laugh along the way! 😆

[@donnav]

You are absolutely right..I am a “Why” person married to a “Why not” person. The struggle is real

[@sandiwalker7564]

Reading these comments brought me to tears. Dana, you are making such a difference in so many people's lives!

[@lindalong2297]

The not asking why takes away the judge mental tone….I 💖it.

[@jennyjenkins877]

Yes... when asked why and feeling judged, people tend to provide an answer in the form of justifications! If you ask someone why they have something, they'll come up with several reasons to keep it and you actually make it harder for them to declutter it.

[@kimberlyverde1441]

I have become a "why?" person after way too many years of "why not?" Thank you for helping me see that asking my husband and daughter "why?" is making the decluttering process more difficult for them. You have such awesome insights!

[@Keyaqp]

Today marks my 3rd bathroom day. I timed it. 1 hour 2 minutes. I have cleaned my bathroom, my downstairs toilet, I vacuumed from top to bottom and I washed the floor. In an hour and 2 minutes! My house has never been so clean as it has been for 3 straight weeks. Thank you Dana! You taught me a new way of living!

[@jennalacaria3924]

I always thought Dawn (the minimal mom) was super inspired and that I had learned pretty much everything I needed to know about decluttering and then she introduced me to you and you have a whole new set of inspired thoughts/ways for me to glean from. My brain works like yours and I'm so grateful you've figured out your crap and shared your insights with the rest of us. Blessings to you Dana

[@joelandstephanieg3574]

About 4 years ago I had a conversation similar to your "why conversation". We had just ended VBS and a senior citizen in our church was oohing and aahing over all the cute little crafts. She asked me, "They are so cute. What do you do with them?" Me: I throw them away. The shock on her face reminded me that not everyone understands the struggle. That year I had FIVE kids in VBS. There is not space in my house for every cute tissue paper stained glass craft!!

[@randommam58]

The struggle is real! I am an artist by nature and I’ve only recently realized that little completed crafts and decorations are completely useless in my home. I no longer buy projects or materials for things unless they are useful to me or there is a specific spot I’m trying to decorate- not many of those left!. It’s a little sad because I love to craft... but what am I supposed to do with them all when I’m done??

[@VagabondAnne]

Honestly that is one of the reasons I never volunteered for Vacation Bible School at my church. I just could not stand to see all the “Plastic Crap from China” that got paid for, used for maybe a week, and then thrown into the landfill trash. None of it re-used for next year, none of it recycled, all of it thrown into God’s good earth to kill off some perfectly good, God-created wildlife beauty. Instead I volunteered for the arts camp, which was all about re-using and being inventive with our energy instead of consumptive.

[@lindawade9647]

The crafts could have been given to the children to take home, or perhaps to an orphanage where children would have been thrilled to have something pretty. At least given to the Salvation Army or Goodwill, rather than being wasted and in a landfill.

[@joelandstephanieg3574]

@@lindawade9647 Maybe I wasn't clear in my comment. The crafts were already made by my children and brought home from VBS. Their value was in the making; now they were just clutter on a dresser, shelf or in a storage tub. No one else would have wanted them. They definitely were not worth the money or energy for someone to haul to an orphanage. To Dana's point... asking why/why not? It has taken me years (and a flooded basement) to grasp that "because it's pretty, fun, a memory" aren't helpful answers. I have 6 children and at one point in my life had filled an 1,100 sq ft unfinished basement with pretty, fun, memory things. All neatly stored, but useless and forgotten. Dana's videos inspire me to keep peeling back the layers of accumulation, and keep donating what's worth donating, and trash the rest.

[@lindawade9647]

@@joelandstephanieg3574 I thought you were saying they were newly made crafts at a Bible program, when you said VBS. I misunderstood.

[@kathleenhill5838]

Looking so forward to our Salvation Army getting drivers back again and picking up the many things I have on my front porch. It will be a happy day!

[@rechelefields3224]

Wow, this really resonates with me. I need to separate emotion. I am very sentimental and struggle with some things. I am so grateful to you for being so transparent with us! And the humor 🤣 is an added bonus! I am on the road in the decluttering journey. I long to be able to manage my life and home!

[@aaronhaumesser4283]

I am a "why not???" Person 😂 My husband recently said our house was looking a lot better ❤️ just started this journey in January and that's all the encouragement I need to keep going!

[@deeannmartin924]

It took him until October to notice your work?? I hope this was his most recent encouragement and not his FIRST word of encouragement. Congratulations on your work!💜💜💜

[@Julies-in-a-mood]

@@deeannmartin924 let’s not take Aaron’s comment & spin it into something negative. The fact that he’s appreciative of her efforts is a win.

[@aaronhaumesser4283]

@@deeannmartin924 😂 no, it wasn't the first time he'd noticed, but he has been skeptical because I've tried so many different things in the past. This method actually WORKS ❤️

[@deeannmartin924]

@@Julies-in-a-mood I disagree that my comment is negative, only accurate; since husbands are notorious for NOT noticing and not showing appreciation, I stand by my comment.🙋‍♀️

[@newwife777]

I'm a Why Not person for fabrics and certain book authors, haha!

[@jeanmarie2928]

You shared the extreme difference in thinking when each of us consider acquiring things. Asking the questions in your process enables the person to take responsibility for their possessions. It empowers them to move forward successfully. My most loved people are attracted to ‘shineys’ 🤩 :) many things qualify as wonderful, could/would be useful, very cool. The word why will no longer be asked when helping someone declutter or purchase. Loved the end when you were a ventriloquist (talking through your teeth) cooperating with Reid for editing! 💕🍁🎥🦉

[@conniesoares157]

I am trying to teach a couple of friends your “container concept” because they love to keep buying and having. I am thankful for your talks each week!

[@suzy1676]

Awesome! I've been drowning in the"Why not?" camp for SO long! Your process is a perfect fit to my 🧠 brain! TY

[@thegoatswifetwofour3546]

❤keep 'em coming Dana, love hearing all your reasoning. Thank you.

[@evasilvalayton758]

When I used to shop and shop and shop… I asked myself “why…why not” Thanks to you and Cas I have saved so much money!

[@lindastewart4565]

When family was here this summer, my sister and daughter were the last to leave. The day before, they asked if there was anything I needed help with. So we started going through my closet. I'm not really mobile so my daughter helped me try things on as my sister brought them out. I had gotten rid of the first 20 things I had already set aside. When I started saying yes to things, my sister started asking "WHY". As you said, this caused some problems. Thankfully my daughter stepped in and she let my sister know my answers. It started getting better and going much faster. Asking WHY definitely doesn't help. Thanks for this video.

[@rebeccafrost7419]

This is so great! Also, your container concept has changed my life! Just spent the past 2 weeks decluttering every single day! SO much has left my home and now I’m actually appreciating and loving the spaces in my home instead of complaining about their size!❤️🙏🏻 thank you!

[@kellybearden1571]

I really appreciated how you put it in the context of helping a loved one declutter, because not only am I working on decluttering, I’m also helping my kids declutter, and I need to be mindful of what I’m saying to them as I help them so they feel empowered by the process. Thank you Dana!

[@amma7244]

Your five steps took us the rest of the way with decluttering because it made sense yo both of us. I watch you because of your sass snd your no nonsense approach. I don’t want pinterest worthy i want functionality and easier to clean and find stuff. Love the credits!!!

[@deeannmartin924]

I had to go back and watch the credits because of this comment, so funny! Loved it. Love your sense of humor, Dana.💜💜💜😁

[@alexa574]

YES! I've been on the decluttering train for several years. I'm 58 now and just last year did this finally .and sense to me that I don't need to bring home everything that I liked or cute,,mindblowng!

[@jenbergeron7955]

So valuable. Not only do I know better now how to help someone else, but I understand why I get so bent out of shape when someone helps me. Now I can give a few instructions to my helpers on how to better help make things better rather than upsetting me more. Now I just need to help myself to stop going through the endless self questioning of "why do I have this?" "why did I buy this?" "why did I waste the money on this?" etc.

[@joannafoster3423]

I get it now! I have asked the same why question too many times. My 19 year old (high functioning autistic with a bit of OCD) sees treasure in EVERYTHING! Why gets me nowhere, in fact, he becomes more possessive of those items. My 14 year old daughter is a crafter, needle arts, clay, paint, cross stitch, paper crafts,.... ALL OF IT! Why again gets the why not response. This is so helpful!

[@mwebb3014]

YES!! I am def a “why not” kind of gal, unfortunately. I had not thought about it like that and it makes sense how so much stuff has accumulated in my house over the years. I am not really a shopper but I have always accepted pretty much anything that someone has offered me because I could ALWAYS see the POTENTIAL of pretty much anything. I am learning to be much more intentional about what I bring into my home. I have also donated multiple van loads of things that added nothing to my current life except frustration. This was a fantastic video Dana!! ❤️

[@katiegleaves3792]

YES! though I have always "been a shopper" and find joy in shopping with others who may dread the task, or need help with it (I have lots of introvert friends, or those who suffer with crowds, etc, or lack parental guidance).. But through Dana's videos (and other helpful people like the Minimal Mom, ClutterBug, A to Zen Life, and But First Coffee) I have changed my own mindset, along with my main "shopping buddy". I have had the opportunity to test myself, and for the last 8 months, I have hardly bought anything at all. When one of us sees something we like, I initiate a conversation about it - yes it is cute, or yes I do love it... but neither of us NEEEEEED it - or we don't have the space for it... or it doesn't QUITE fit right... (applying the "if it's not an absolute YES, it's a NO" concept) and someone else may need or love it even more, so the item can stay here at the store for THEM instead. lol. It has been life-changing!

[@dawndenzin1111]

Haha!! You totally cracked me up at the end with your ventriloquist talking thru the teeth! But great video. I am guilty of asking my hubby A LOT “why are you keeping this?” Backfires every time.

[@jennesont4791]

You have an insight into my brain! A lightbulb moment for me was FINALLY realizing that just because something was cute/cool/fun doesn’t mean I need to bring it home!

[@katherinelipari6610]

That second question is really useful for things that I’ve made. Just used it the other day when I came across a rice sock (old sock stuffed with dry rice that one microwaves to warm it) that I made last time I had sprained my knee. Was struggling with question one and realized that I would NEVER look for a rice sock. I have also started using it for other random stuff I’ve crafted where the act of crafting was the only result - just because I or my girls made something useful doesn’t mean we actually remember it to use it.

[@angelasmeltingmoments3334]

I use a rice sock all the time.

[@lauralaforge558]

It's interesting how different all of our brains are. I put items like that near the first-aid stuff. Whenever we have an ache/pain/illness, all of those items are together.

[@katherinelipari6610]

@@lauralaforge558 lol. I was THIS close to putting it in my first aid area too because I was like ‘I SHOULD look there for rice socks’ but I had to be honest with myself that I never think to look for an old one when someone hurts themselves. I just go make another. That ‘would’ instead of ‘should’ really has been a game changer for me.

[@shannonelliott9230]

@@katherinelipari6610 That second question has been hard for me. I really haven't like it. I changed it to "Do I want to keep this?" But actually understand the question better lately; took some time to gel. I was resistant! I may still be, and I may use my, "Do I want this item?" at least part of the time. But I do get it now.

[@macathymac8249]

I felt so much better when I found you and your wonderful explanation (for me) about the "container" concept. I couldn't understand why I had so much clutter and what the problem was with me in not "getting" why I couldn't have it. Your explanation is opening a whole new level of understanding for me - apparently, I have the same mind set about things that you had. Now I can work at decluttering with a more comfortable, understanding attitude. Mind blown!

[@tamarapace3036]

Dana, thank you for mentioning the fact that the whole family might not have the same mindset. My husband is great at "why not". We have provided free rent to boxes of stuff for years! For 25 years we moved from base to base (military) with these boxes. We are retired now and moved into our new home. I opened boxes that had wedding gifts in them! We recieved 4 knife sets. I'm still using the first set (thank you mom and dad) with 3 sets still in packaging! I feel like bashing my head on some days. All that I can do is take control of my personal belongings and hope my husband likes what he sees. He doesn't understand why we would get rid of something that we might need. We do have plenty of storage but...really? Could you do a video that might give us some tips we can use to be helpful (like not asking a question that puts our loved one in a defensive position) in getting our inventory under control? It helps me when you explain the way your mind processes "things". I'm so tired of keeping track of all of our "stuff". Loved the credits! I hope that we get to meet you one day, Reid.

[@Beepbopboop19]

Maybe get minimum containers for SOME stuff and gently set up stations sort of and ask him. "This or this? The Rubbermaid container only holds one." Do that with lots of things. He may get annoyed or just bored of it and let you take over ;)

[@tamarapace3036]

Thank you, Tara! I'll have to decide what my end goal is for my house. I guess I just don't know what my clutter threshold is. We have the space, I am just over too much inventory. It makes my head hurt trying to keep track of everything. When the kids were home and I was younger I must have had a bigger threshold or I was too busy being a mommy.

[@martavillanueva1062]

Ask your pastor if the church have storage for donating to families who lost their homes in a fire..

[@sarahmitchell9366]

@@tamarapace3036 I have an idea. If you have plenty of storage, is there any way you can just put away the things you don't want to deal with but he doesn't want to get rid of? Make your home useable and accessible for you, and then put the "extras" away for now. Call it a quarantine. But at this point if he's not open to decluttering it out of the house, you might consider the storage space as his container. He can keep whatever fits in there, even if you wouldn't keep it. And then let it be, and let him manage it. If he realizes that he needs some of those things out, help him find a place for it that works. I think you might be trying to take too big and too fast steps for his personality. As someone who matches more closely to him, that's my advice.

[@tamarapace3036]

@@sarahmitchell9366 Thank you so much! I am taking on too much. The container! Oh my gosh 🙃how did I keep forgetting, "the container"!?! The garage and attic...he can have! Funny thing is...he'll cart anything that I ask to to the donations center! I am very grateful that I haven't pushed him to declutter only because I am decluttering. Thank you so much! Everyone!

[@godofthebiblespeaks3188]

Love your thought processes! This makes so much sense and avoids places where people normally get stuck in decision-making.

[@HistorianMom]

Viscera is Latin for “guts,” or intestines. So yes, when you feel something deep in your gut, you are having a “gut reaction,” or a visceral one. “Some men see things as they are and ask why; others dream of things as they could be, and ask, “Why Not?” (George Bernard Shaw) I’m a fellow “why not” person, and I loved this video.

[@kelliefollett1547]

This will help me so much when working with others in the family. Thank you! Also, love the ending of the video and how he left all of it in.

[@Ann.shecopeswithhope]

Clearly Reid inherited the funny gene! Another great video y’all 😆 Also, the why/why not explanation… more gold! You’re an awesome teacher, thank you! Seriously, time spent with you is always well spent 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@MelindaPlainandSimple]

PROGRESS!!! I wouldn't say my declutter-hesitant hubby is a convert yet, but he did voluntarily declutter a couple of things. Yay! How did I get him to do it? Gently and accidentally. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I wanted us to eventually transfer his items from cardboard boxes into the plastic bins I was planning to empty. A few days later, he came home from work while I was decluttering in the garage. I mentioned my goal again and casually pointed out his cardboard boxes, which are collapsing. I mentioned that his stuff will be more protected in the bins. A few days after that, I was decluttering in the garage again and I asked him if he could take a couple of minutes to help me transfer his stuff from one of his boxes into an empty bin. I could tell he enjoyed looking at his things and sharing memories as we moved the stuff over. At one point, without prompting, he told me what something was and said he didn't need it, I could put it with my giveaway stuff. Surprise! I didn't expect that. Then he found something else he didn't need to keep. Small items, but hey, every little bit makes the load lighter. It wasn't long before I sensed it was getting difficult, though. This was new to him, and I didn't want him to feel pressured or to become even more resistant to letting go in the future, so I said, "Just because you're going through stuff, doesn't mean you have to get rid of anything, but just because you own something, doesn't mean you have to keep it either." That seemed to make it a little easier for him to continue and enjoy the process and the memories. He ended up keeping most of the stuff, but the fact that he let go of anything at all was progress. Luckily, everything he kept fit into the bin, so I didn't need to bring up the container concept 😳...baby steps. Thanks, Dana! I'm a "Why not?" girl married to a "Why not?" guy. But now I know to say, "No way!"

[@Ann.shecopeswithhope]

Melinda! I wrote down your quote of what you said to your husband… SO GOOD!!! Thank you. It is so full of grace and kindness. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and share these words 🥰

[@MelindaPlainandSimple]

@@Ann.shecopeswithhope Aww! Thank you for letting me know. 😊 ❤💐

[@MelindaPlainandSimple]

@@Ann.shecopeswithhope BTW...❤"Be" is a verb!

[@tamarapace3036]

Congratulations on the time going down memory lane with your husband! And getting the project done! I wonder...what is your next project plan with your husband?! Inquiring minds want to know.

[@MelindaPlainandSimple]

@@tamarapace3036 Thanks! I enjoyed just watching him enjoy it. He has several more boxes of stuff in the garage and in the basement to go through, but I have to tread lightly so I don't spook him. My plan is to continue decluttering my own stuff and let his decluttering happen organically, either on his own or just as this box happened. Showing him that I'm keeping my word and I'm not decluttering his stuff is important to his trusting and opening up to the process. I could have just moved his stuff into the bin, slapped a label on it, and told him afterward, but the box was heavy and it was his stuff, so I asked him to help me. I honestly thought we'd just move all of it over and be done with it because he prefers to work alone (maybe because he's an only child). I was genuinely surprised at how it played out. I kept that surprise to myself, let him go at his own pace, and didn't say much. I didn't make a big deal when he let something go, but after he did let the first couple of things go, I listened and watched for cues. Some things, I knew he would want to keep, but other things, I would ask: Do you want to keep that? Sometimes he said 'yes'; sometimes he said 'no'. I never decided for him. I wanted it to be non-threatening, comfortable, and pleasant so maybe he'll do it again. When I sensed it got difficult for him, I let him know it's okay to keep his stuff if he wants to, but I also gave him permission to let it go. He said a quiet 'I know'. I could see a subtle shift and he continued. When we were done, I showed him where to put the bin and thanked him for helping me. I think that's important too. I think he saw it as helping me. He doesn't care about the mess. He doesn't even see it as a mess. But he knows how important it is to me to get things more under control. Plus, knowing he can keep all of his stuff if he chooses to is important. He's just helping me and he's getting a better storage container. I have another empty bin waiting, so fingers crossed he'll be ready for another trip down memory lane today. ❤ If not, I will always cherish the one I got.

[@megfeeley2559]

Do you know how often I ask myself "where would I look first" for something I can't find -- and that question helps me to find it? I am not your most diligent student; I am always testing (I can't seem to declutter my collection of containers!) but your work helps me every day. I have had to stop trying to teach other people your ideas. This why/why not idea gives me the OPTION to say "why?" instead of "why not." Never occurs to me to think of things like a choice. It's like the things have all the power.

[@brightpage1020]

Love her books! Yesterday, we dumped all 9 shelved storage cubbies out on the living room floor. I set a timer for 15 minutes and told my kids (8,4,3) they had that time frame to put all their favorites into a bin (each kid has 3 bins). We did the “15 minute cleanup” and threw out 2 diaper boxes full of junk afterwards. We did save 2 extra bins that can be stored in the boys’ room and rotated out weekly. I want to do this every month now if not every week! It was so freeing and really made the toy corner look lighter and neater! Now we can set the timer every day for a 10-15 minute cleanup (working up to 5 minutes) and it doesn’t allow for questioning - only action - but it’s effective and it gets the kids racing to get it cleaned up. Yay! The timer didn’t allow for

[@brightpage1020]

And it’s doable for their attention spans! And they can accomplish it themselves! And they got to keep their favorites.

[@martavillanueva1062]

Daycares have the Clean Up song. In the song it says 'everybody' .

[@barbaramiller3205]

Very helpful! I’ve been asking the wrong questions to those I’ve been wanting to declutter their stuff.

[@HannahMitchell-Art]

This is 200% me and my decluttering has ground to a halt because I’m still stuck in “why not” mode. Thank you for the reminder that this is not an important question!

[@heidilopez-felix8105]

Wow I’m such a way not person! This is mind opening thank you 😊

[@EmilyHercamp17]

LOVE you Reid! 😊 you're the BEST! 🤣

[@barbkandel777]

This helps me to understand others who struggle with this. Great video, Dana! I LOVE your hair! I'm glad you kept the ending in, Reid. It was funny! My son would have done the same thing. LOL

[@gerrimarion5255]

You have helped me so much!!! This video was spot on for what I just went through when decluttering more. Having no attachment to my stuff is so freeing!!!! I now have a healthier thought process because of you!!! Can't thank you enough!!! Your processes really worked and works for me!!! I so love your scents of humor!!!!

[@cathyc7800]

Love your videos. They’ve made a HUGE change in my life❤️

[@shannonelliott9230]

I loved this one. At first I was just fascinated to see how you were thinking and why "why?" didn't work for you, but then I found myself in this. I realized I want to declutter a lot of things, but I will go through this little mental thing -- which isn't exactly why keep this -- but like you said, "Why not keep this?" And boy can I ever come up with a reason, or three, about instantly. Today I did this with something I really wanted to declutter, and ended up walking away from it, disgusted with myself for my weakness. It was a dollar store item!!! Yikes... Anyway, thank you, again, Dana!

[@LilCraftyNook]

To me, “why” and “why not” rank up there with “Should” and “Shouldn’t “. Judgy words that automatically put us on the defensive.

[@shannonelliott9230]

I get this. I'm sure that's some of my thinking, too. Why shouldn't I keep this?

[@phyllissweetpea4926]

Something that helps me is “ where would I put that?” 99 times out of a 100 I don’t get it.

[@pammorrison1882]

Reid is without a doubt the funniest person on the internet. Love your system, love your talk, but TOTALLY love the end comments by Reid. THANKS!!

[@leahrenea2709]

I have tried for most of my life to figure out how to have an amazing, beautiful and organized home. My mom's home was always well kept and we never had any clutter. I could never reach her level but I managed to sorta make do. Then eight years ago I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and I have fallen apart. I noticed that my home just kept getting worse because I no longer could pull off the all day cleaning I used to, which meant my clutter got to crazy level. The other reason was because I was no longer moving. I used to move every couple of years and when I did it I would do a massive declutter. Essentially I got rid of everything I owned other than what fit in my vehicle. For me to live in the same home for ten years means ten years of accumulated clutter. When you said that the friend said why, my mind immediately started going......"it's pretty, to play with, to decorate with, to use for a future party"..... So this really resonated with me.

[@juliabohr2059]

Oh, I always ask my spouce, why do you have/want this! And then we fight! And now I know why 🤔 🤪 thank you

[@LoriTaylorSmithGA]

Why? Mind blown. I will ask this with every item coming into my home. On a side note, how very ironic that an ad for Hobby Lobby popped up in the middle of this video. That should be illegal!

[@Horsemom121]

Great video! As I declutter my house, I will remember why not to use 'why' & 'why not'. Thank you!

[@mnmo4bb]

The pinwheel thing, this all made so much sense, I bring too much home. I avoid rummage sales, thrift stores and the dollar store... I buy flossers at the dollar store but I stock up so I go into the store less often! My daughter brought home a baby shower decoration and it could have been thrown at the end of the shower so I told her, this will not last and eventually you will throw it away. If you are ok with that, for enjoying it and then letting go, you can bring it home. Also, THANK YOU for the "better" video... I used to not tackle something knowing I couldn't finish it but instead I've been so much progress knowing and feeling good that it's better. I need a place to take time to settle and see what naturally happens before I can "finish" it but really every area has to keep being decluttered, no area will just stay done as long as stuff is coming and going from the home (talking office areas, storage closets, etc) I don't beat myself up about this anymore!!

[@lkhorvath4]

This is totally me!. I am a crafter and my husband has asked me this question and I have answered in suit "why not?"

[@the.organized.designer]

Live your channel, have read both of your books and am continuously blown away by how you explain things that I do that I never even realized were a thing. You have helped me to realize so many things about myself, find ways to improve them and I am so grateful to have found you!

[@MsDoglover02]

I watch your content for me and education but totally heard my ex-husband in this because he was and came from a family of hoarders. I also think his right brain creative side was similar to yours in thinking of creative what ifs for things like a pinwheel in the garden. Thanks!

[@MelindaPlainandSimple]

😂Love the end pause!

[@deborahwager5883]

Yes! "Why" feels like an accusation. And, as you say, it isn't helpful in whether it needs to be kept or not.

[@GratefulDeb270]

Ty for helping me declutter! I love both of your books and all of your videos! Life changing is such terrific ways! 💝

[@katmoreau8800]

Dana, I love you! You are literally inside my mind and making improvements on me every week! THANK YOU!!! Reid, I love your editing style and sense of humor. Keep ‘em coming! Lol!

[@believewithmrsilly187]

"It's not Harry Potter in here." 😂 Love your channel have enjoyed seeing you progress in your journey. You talk sense girl 💕

[@Samus419]

Yes!! Getting reminded of this from time to time is helpful.

[@tracyclark7560]

wonderfully honest. You've become my best friend because you clean and have a vivacious interesting personality, you've endeared me to you being honest. hugs for motivation!

[@jinglesh1398]

"But it's only a dollar or 2, and it's so cute, I'm sure I can find somewhere to put it!" Now: "Oh that's so cute.........and cheap! Wait, where am I gonna put this? What am I willing to get rid of so that I can buy this? Total 360 in my thought process thanks to you Dana

[@emmcguire94]

Your hair looks great 😍 (as a person with very straight hair I love your curls!!) Also very hard to believe you’re 48! You must have good genes

[@floridanativelh568]

So happy you're posting vids regularly 😉

[@BohemiaGirl331]

you are clever and adorable and fullof wisdom. thank you Dana.

[@cindygrim3060]

I unexpectedly found you a couple of weeks ago and I have to tell you my world and home have changed drastically for the good of course. I bought decluttering at the speed of life. I am watching all you videos and decluttering spaces, my mantra has changed from why can't I organize like everyone else to this is my container and Better really is Good. You speak my language and I finally have guilt free sanity. Thank you

[@kryssygee4814]

Yes long enough 😂 and great thinking! So helpful. Going to watch it again right now.

[@lindamusser7370]

I've finally gotten to this point after years of TMS (Too Much Stuff). Thank you for organizing this.

[@ednarose86]

The ending, hilarious!

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

You are fun to watch! Wishing you every success in your journey 🙂

[@angielovett4159]

That’s great! Makes a lot of sense. I’m like you, I could (and have) justified ‘why?’ I’m also a ‘I may need that (someday). That’s what’s gotten me to my cluttered, overfilled house. I’m so ‘over’ it! Love your 5 steps!

[@pattibealer]

Visceral was a great word! Probably because you had to struggle to understand things, you are able to explain them so much better. This is a great concept, and very insightful. Thank you. I'm more of the "why?" person, but after 20 years, and 2 kids, we've accumulated so many things that now I'm becoming a decluttering fool. Thank you!

[@cindimeyers8074]

I LOVE all your lil sayings...has helped me so much in my journey to declutter 25 years of accumulating.

[@cheriek3872]

Every time I listen to one of your videos where you talk about how you used to think I feel like you are describing me to a tee!!

[@paulastamper6225]

I have too much. You have helped me. I’m not done but it is better

[@Sonchiri]

“It’s not Harry Potter here” 😂😂😂 Thanks for all of your wonderful advice ❤️

[@lisaadams4435]

This is my aha moment. Love watching and listening to you. It makes so much sense. I would keep everything because why not.

[@mllata]

Dana, I always love your take and suggestions. Everything you say resonates with me. I’ve read two of your books - Decluttering at the Speed of Life and How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind - which were both awesome, and yet I’m still stuck. I have a hard time letting go of things. I have major container issues, meaning things are overflowing in my home. I don’t have spaces to put things. In fairness, we live in a condominium, and we have inadequate storage space and no garage! But still I know I have major attachment issues. I don’t even get rid of years old receipts because when I come across them they remind me of an event or special time. Last week, I donated a box of my daughter’s toys that I’d been collecting in a box to donate. Even though I knew my daughter didn’t care about the items, I texted her a picture and asked her if these items were okay to donate to our doorman’s 5 year old daughter. My daughter said yes. But when she came home from school, she told me that she had showed the picture of the items I donated to her friend and then that friend said she wants the Monster High pillow that was in the pile. 😳 This has thrown me into a bit of regret and despair for donating it to someone who didn’t know about its existence, as I would would have loved to give it to my daughter’s friend. Her friend is super nice! If I had only known... 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, last year I purchased your class with Dawn the Minimalist Mom and Cassey the Clutter Bug. I didn’t get through the course. 😭 I don’t know what to do but I’m overwhelmed. Do you do consults? I live in NJ. Thanks.

[@ritatharp5238]

Hi Dana! Thank you for sharing. This was definitely "food for thought"!!! I hope it helps me to remember all of this when I start decluttering. 🙏

[@dracofirex]

I resisted a why not. It was cute, so I took a picture of it with my phone. I am slowly but surely undoing years of hoarding. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, but I'm still sickened by what I've done here. I keep telling myself that better is good. If I can't handle another minute of cleaning, I look at what little I have done and declare that it's better. It's getting there!

[@lindastewart4565]

I'm happy to hear that you're saying "better is good." It's helping me also. Keep up the good work at your own pace. 😁👍

[@dracofirex]

@@lindastewart4565 Yes! We will get through it! One of the worst parts for me is trying to forgive myself for letting it get out of hand. I don't think I learned pick-up techniques that worked for me and I got too discouraged and left it alone. Now, it's one piece at a time.

[@lindastewart4565]

@@dracofirex Getting discouraged always gets in my way. I do the same with the guilt and now that I'm not so mobile I always have to wait for help and that's most annoying.

[@tdfulton1]

Our brains are so alike. Thus, that is why I am following your 14 day clean up. I think you, think exactly the right way. I just never understood everyone else. And yes, I can just about multi-use about-EVERYTHING!(atleast 2-3 times). Thankyou, my twin from some other momma! Danielle

[@floridanativelh568]

Love the ending 🤣🤣🤣

[@kch4580]

“This is not Harry Potter here” she says as I had just put down Harry Potter to watch this video lol. And my thought is instantly “why not?!”

[@suzer77539]

I love every video and book from you! This one really was a wow for me! 😮

[@klmac3721]

Brilliant. What a perspective shift. Huge penny dropped here. Thank you so much. ❤

[@jillianguilford5191]

I found that I had 5 first aide kits in various areas of my small apartment. I'm going to keep the best one/put the newest ointments in it and donate the others. I do have a to donate area near my door. My plan is to get a ride and take the stuff to the thrift stores.

[@granitemoss1451]

AH no, I am a SUCKER for cute, funky and unusual. But it's a great point- just because you like it doesn't mean you should own it. I do great with this idea with wall/home decor and kitchen junk and fail fail FAIL when it come to clothing and especially jewelry!

[@Elizabeth-490]

You are so helpful, insightful and honest. And funny! Thank you Dana! You system works!

[@fireflyalley1158]

Thank you so much for this video! Makes complete sense….yet….it never occurred to me NOT to just bring home everything I like.😂 BTW your skin is amazing!😁