WHY WE DO NOT LIKE OUR OWN HAIR

[@lovely1996me]

The day I realized Black/African women are the only ones that say “natural” hair, is when I knew we have a problem. You made some valid points👏🏿👏🏾

[@cecechampion4]

Our hair is not the easiest to maintain at all, and I'm frustrated at times trying to style it. However, the problem is how Nigerian women believe bone straight wig, skin bleaching to have "yellowish" skin color is the standard of beauty. I'm not going to blame men or society because it's still a personal choice. I cringe, everytime I watch the new Nollywood movies because all the women have the same style of straight wig. Here in the states, we wear more natural hairstyles, updo, curly/wavy weave, short hair, locs/twists and braids. I was so shocked when I visited Nigeria the first time, these women had these hideous wigs on in the humid weather. I was constantly bombarded with vendors who wanted to sell organic skincare products and wigs to me.

[@bak3456]

@@cecechampion4it is very easy to maintain. It’s difficult if you want to force it to be like other hair types. If you embrace your hair texture it’s very easy to take care of them

[@cecechampion4]

@@bak3456 You made a great point. I agree.

[@megaidolor]

Wowww, I never thought of it like that

[@mystylishjunk]

When you say it like that, it def makes you 🤔. Growing up Nigerian 🇳🇬 we were never taught to love our own hair texture. I'm ending that cycle with my daughter. I just started my locs journey and can't wait to instill self love into my daughter so that she can accept and embrace everything about herself from head to toe 🥰

[@JanaeJohnson96]

I was EXTREMELY dishonest with myself when it came to why I wore Asian / Brazilian hair weaves. The flat out truth is that I didn't love myself completely. I didn't feel pretty or feminine enough with my natural curls / fro. It CLEARLY went deeper than just "protective style" and "switching it up" I felt inadequate without it. I needed to once and for all accept my blackness and and reject the idea that black women are not good enough because we don't meet the european beauty standard. Now I think natural hair is the most beautiful thing in the world! Not to mention all the love and attention I get! I could not imagine wearing another woman's hair on my head! Hair pieces and wigs that match my natural hair is perfectly fine with me but the moment I'm trying to look like somebody else would disturb my spirit deeply. My black is beautiful and I refuse to braid it down and hide it underneath ANOTHER woman's beauty💗💕✨️✊🏾🌸

[@janea8093]

I feel this too sis. I disguised my insecurity with the whole “protective style” and to make matters worse I have a huge forehead so it added to that but my hair is very long bra length type 4. I’m having my hair transplant this summer to help me wear my hair more. I hate seeing lace on my head.

[@JanaeJohnson96]

@janea8093 I'm so happy for you beautiful!!! I hope that experience gives you the confidence that you've been looking for!!!!💗💗💗

[@ME_333-]

🩷

[@CookwithAgatha]

Everything you said ❤ truth

[@paulalee2345]

Girl Speak! Amen!!!!!! ❤🙌🏽✊🏽

[@mybee123]

The wigs and weaves arent the problem. Women of ALL races wear hair extensions but they wear extensions that match THEIR natural texture. We just need to start doing the same 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@fruitsarelife7073]

Yeah that would definitely be a game changer.

[@rawrrii1020]

exactly🎯

[@ladybird491]

Not good cause we would have so many afro women cutting hair to sale it. No matter the texture it is still some else's hair. 🤣

[@fruitsarelife7073]

@@ladybird491 at least they make money instead of others but natural is obviously best

[@Spanac09]

​@@ladybird491 No one will buy that lol

[@elliaakonjoelle8551]

I am ivorian and I noticed in many nigerian movies that in almost all the scenarios I watched the village girl has cornrow but once she get married with the rich prince wigs everywhere

[@everythingispolitics6526]

😂😂😂 Great observation. Wig = wealth 🤣🤣🤣. What a tragedy

[@goldennkem]

@@everythingispolitics6526 Big Tragedy...

[@theevolvingblackwoman]

I say this all the time.. so to my mind Am thinking is our hair associated with poverty Is that the message they are sending

[@KristenMakoyi]

righttttt

[@africandaughterofthunder8449]

😂😂it's the esther-bleach-ment effect 😥

[@justprecious6677]

All my teenage years in Nigeria I wore weaves even tho I have beautiful curly hair, my mom made me always fix weaves so to look “presentable or classy” but when I moved to Ghana for uni I saw how everyone embraced their hair everywhere and that gave me confidence to start wearing my hair in different styles like twists and it’s been 6 years without a single weave or wig touching my head and it has also saved me a lot of money too ❤

[@TheGrowingChristianLady]

I'm proud of my Ghanaian sisters 🇬🇭

[@I.am.hooked]

​​@@OgechimeI think the most important thing is the intention. If you want to wear weaves or wigs, that's fine. You are wearing it for convenience, not because you hate your beautiful crown. Our type of hair is sometimes hard, when life gives lemons, make lemonades.❤ Here is a tip: You can also try "protective hairstyles". I have been doing it and it really saves a lot of energy. There are many tutorials on KZbin.

[@DrKoko90]

Yes and we’re very comfortable with short hair too. It doesn’t take away from our beauty. I’m proud of you sis! 🇬🇭

[@NileGoddess]

In Kenya women wear natural hair ,locks or low cut.Few wear wigs

[@condesabeatriz9303]

Wow! That's interesting...I guess I'm surprised that that is a thing in Nigeria.

[@katherinedelacruz9876]

“The 0 is their natural hair and the 100 is someone else’s hair.” That’s it right there!!! No further arguments. I’m Dominican been natural for 10 years. ❤

[@memes.1114]

I'm natural 7 Yeats now, but hate doing my hair. I have not gone back to wigs but i sure want to

[@bluebird1694]

@@memes.1114 there are textured and braided wigs. You don't have to give up wigs completely

[@katherinedelacruz9876]

@@memes.1114 it has its struggles but everyone has struggles with their hair. My Asian friend complain their hair is so flat it can’t hold a curl. Some white girls wish their hair was not thin. We need to embrace the good that comes with our features. We’re the only race of women that actively shit on ourselves for other people’s humor. Has to stop 🛑

[@ladybird491]

Do you have 4c? You said your race and culture I notice you didn't say hair type. 🤣

[@katherinedelacruz9876]

@@ladybird491 I mentioned I was Dominican because I’m from a culture that is even more unfriendly to natural hair specially in the 4 range. My hair is 4b with some areas that are 4a. No one in my family knew how to care for natural hair I had to learn on my own and from African American women on you tube. I’m so proud of my hair I would never put on some crusty glue and someone else’s scalp to hide it

[@beautifuldreamer8803]

I went to work one day in my short natural 4C hair (twist out), my African female coworker proceeded to tell me in front of everyone that, I looked better in my wig. With a cheeky smile on her face! (I was not as confident back then, TODAY I would tell her to take her own self hate a shove it up her a**). 🖤 people need to do better! When you see a 🖤 women or girls trying to love her natural; DO NOT discourage her!

[@CookwithAgatha]

I’m so happy these conversations are happening now so that we can heal and the next generation of Afro hair girls can bloom in our full glory ❤

[@Omosurakat]

Nice

[@temychrismusings9501]

👌👌👌

[@mutelarsorhougbe4606]

Amennn💓💓💓

[@fruitsarelife7073]

🌸🌼🌼🌸🌞🌞

[@bak3456]

❤❤❤

[@MissAmeriNegro]

I think kinky curly hair that mimicked our natural texture is fine, it’s just the bone straight/wavy hair with the fake edges to me that scream I hate my hair. Especially when they complain about how their hair isn’t easy to deal with and say tons of negative things about it.

[@OnlyAvianna]

My thoughts are similar

[@damonicadavis4212]

I don't think it is that hard at all. Love being natural.

[@shushangeorge1477]

Maraji, please don't stop being unapologetically honest. I agree with you on every single point you made!

[@pharys]

Male here coming through. Grew up with alot of sisters. I wanna give my perspective. Personally for Nigerian hair in particular there has always been great disdain for hair. As a young boy, my hair was always shaved to bald. Other boys as well had a similar case, Nigerian ofc. Other races never had to shave their head, so Nigerian kids all ended up looking forgettable, while other races got to look unique as the kids were growing. I didnt realise this til I was much older. Theres a reason why boys cry at the barbers when they are little. Eventually as I was growing up, I started growing my hair, and my family members would come to me and tell me it needs to be cut. That cutting it: "Prevents Lice" (I have never had lice), "Keeps it neat", "Is taking care of the hair that God gave me and Taking care of my body." I said to my Mother: "Then why should I cut off what God has given me, if you want me to take care of what God has given me." Today, as I am older, my hairline is going away, I am having some balding patches as well. I never really learned how to take care of my own hair from young. It was cut or grow. Even the small growing I did, I never did anything with. The thought of braiding my hair was always seen as "Black American" and the first step to becoming a delinquent or going to jail. At least I braided part of my hair once and that was a cool experience, but now, my hair cant grow anymore to be able to have any unique styles. I gotta keep it short now at 30. I think for boys, the road Natural hair is shorter than the one for women but I thought I would drop my experience since this post resonated with me. Overall, for both sexes, especially women, I have never found Natural Hair unattractive in my adulthood. In fact, I only like curly hair. I notice that when African women wear wigs, it removes their hairline and takes off the natural shape of their face. I can't see ears or anything. However when I see an African woman with natural hair, nappy or not, all of a sudden I can see the rest of the beauty and the face that was hidden under there and I appreciate it and find it so attractive. So from my perspective, Ladies, please dont be afraid to wear your natural hair. Don't listen to naysayers. Don't listen to men or women who call you out for wearing your own hair. You are not a mistake. No one ever has the right to tell you that your natural hair is a mistake and should be hidden. Alright tim to catch some heat. Lay it on me.

[@ch-of5qg]

Hi, I am afro-latino and I wanted to tell you that you can continue with your natural hair journey. There are treatments like minoxidil and anti-androgens that may work for you. There's a hair transplant as well. Hair loss is treated by dermatologists. Of course you have to find one that knows about afro-textured hair. Saludos desde México :)

[@everythingispolitics6526]

What a thoughtful comment. We appreciate Men with insightful comments/contributions. I concur - our natural hair radiates our beauty in ways that words can't explain.

[@deedee2219]

Absolutely wonderful ❤

[@Isthisjoebiden]

You laid it out so well. My son is Asian and blk. His hair is a strange mix between my curly hair and his dad's straight hair. It grows all over. Guess what? We leave it alone. He says he wants it grown out. Never gonna force him to do anything. If his sisters can have long hair, so can he if he wants to. Thank you.

[@solarlola5953]

What a long comment; I can’t read it lol 😅

[@TreasureForeverOfficial]

What really hurts is when I see the glue and hairspray and the toxic chemicals to hold these wigs in place. Thanks for speaking up about this 🙏🏽

[@Melodyrae751]

It’s crazy as a black woman married to a white man. He has never liked me with wigs or the fake hair. He loves my natural hair. And it’s crazy when black people see me with a braid out or other styles. They look at me side ways because I don’t have a 497 degree buss down lace front frontal plus 397 inch long Brazilian mixed with Chinese hair. But than cry racism. It’s with us. It really starts with us.

[@msjreneful]

What area are you in? Black men and women always compliment my natural hair in its curly state.

[@Melodyrae751]

@@msjreneful born and raised in Canada but in the gta with his majority black and minority population. Black people would be the first to make fun or say my hair isn’t done. Unless they themselves were wearing it naturally most of the time. I’m now in GA , US and I can see most women I see either cover there hair with a bonnet or have it in braids or a wig. And they do sometimes look at me side ways for my hair. I don’t hate wigs or braids or anything. I hate being judged for wearing my hair

[@Sandrinarhonda]

@@Melodyrae751you realize that a lot of us wear wigs because we have a medical condition.

[@didi7366]

Same here , my partner is hispanic he is obsessed with my natural hair and prefers it that way.

[@theempressworld]

It is racism… internalized racism. I just don’t get why that keeps going over everyone’s head. It didn’t come from no where and I’m not saying it isn’t our job to work through that, bc it is. It’s been drilled in our heads since we came out the womb that anything black is bad.

[@bernardacquah3222]

I realized my own people looked at me in a funny way when I wore my natural hair. Someone even asked me at work what was stopping me from relaxing my hair or going to the salon. Our celebs on TV are the champions of this whole wig industry, we can only list a handful of celebs that can proudly rock their own hair.

[@OluchiJoyCreative]

Our celebrities cannot champion natural hair styling because their front hairs are most likely gone and their hairs might be very scanty. WHY? They barely care for their natural hair due to constant heavy wig and weave usage and dependence.

[@caronamala438]

I wear my hair natural and my sister asked me why I don't go to the saloons and get braids like a normal person 😅. Others tell me. "It's ok but it's not jet black it looks unhealthy. Use this and that to dye it black" When will we accept that natural hair is not supposed to be midnight black to be "healthy"

[@orebiyidorcasoluwasemilore1445]

This is my story o, my sister

[@jodiesamie]

Exactly the same here in Paris 😮

[@flakkie6711]

I bought 3 wigs but cannot wear them 😂😂😂. My low hair is perfect!!!!!!!

[@bbianca_tempest]

This was a great message, and very well explained! It’s crazy how wearing wigs has became a new normal for a lot of women who don’t suffer from any balding . I begin wearing wigs at a young age and not proudly either, it was due to hair loss. Our texture of wigs are more expensive than any European texture or look . The prices of wigs have went up ONLY due to what’s trending , which made it difficult for the ones that NEED them .

[@GracefulKnots]

Exactly!!! My daughter has lovely hair and I do try to encourage her to wear her hair out more. My own hair has a lot of issues (balding, thinning etc)as you will see on my channel but I still try to wear it out sometimes cos I cannot continue wearing wigs all my life 😀

[@Lisette121]

Yes. Textured hair isn't cheap

[@bbianca_tempest]

@@Lisette121Tell me about it !😂

[@bbianca_tempest]

@@GracefulKnots I’m the same way with my daughter’s , with the exception of braids of course! I’ll have to check out your channel!

[@louisee782]

​​@@Lisette121 Good straight wigs are not cheap either. Many women pay hundreds to buy them regularly.

[@omadennis580]

I suffered burns from relaxers due to my tender scalp until I entered the university. I studied in Ghana, so when I saw that natural hair is normal over there, I immediately did the big chop and learnt how to maintain it. So since 2011, I went natural, I've not gone back. I have done big chops like three to four times because it grows too long and I just love it at a particular length😂😂 I remember anytime I came back for holidays, it was hard to see a salon or hairdresser that knows how to treat natural hair, I literally had to teach them 😂😂😂 because I won't even allow you to treat my hair some kind of way. At some point I stopped washing my hair in the salon, I wash my hair myself for some years now. I recently did locs, and I've been on locs for more than three years. Love it for me.

[@MarajisWorld]

That’s so true , natural hair is rocked more in Ghana than in Nigeria

[@ayemad]

Even East Africa has a lot more natural hair and it’s great to see a real variety of natural hairstyles. Not sure why west Africa is so high on the wig crack.

[@momomamabaebae]

​@@ayemadit's so painful actually

[@ayemad]

@@momomamabaebae watching Nigerian movies and seeing nothing but 43 inch bussdowns.

[@Daraa727]

Growing up I have never been obsessed with the idea of wigs. I’ve always been fond of natural hair to the point were I thought that something was wrong with me because most black women never wore their natural hair out. Sometimes I would even question whether God made our type of hair to be covered. You would hear our African people say all sorts about our type of hair, they can even liken you to a mad person with your hair out. I’m Ghanaian and Nigerian , I noticed too that Ghanaians tend to embrace their hair texture more which for me is very encouraging. Even now that I’m in the West, the us to be specific, black women in the media tend to be very particular about how their hair is especially when it’s natural. If it’s natural it has to look a certain way. We only appreciate black hair that is type 3 and above. I realized that we tend to look to the world to validate ourselves instead of resting in God’s truth that the way we are made is truly beautiful. We don’t believe it. I know some black women wear wigs to switch up their look or protect their hair but some of the time it is because some of us don’t think our hair is presentable enough or beautiful enough.

[@Daraa727]

Even I am guilty of this sometimes. Although I like to embrace my hair, wearing it out can be sometimes difficult😢

[@thebadkids2320]

@@Daraa727especially difficult when all the other black girls and black women are wearing straight hair.

[@idfkwtr]

​@@Daraa727understandable, considering all the negative outlook people have on natural hair, ive seen so many stories of black women going out in their natural hair and being asked when they are gonna 'get it done'.. as if its not already done and beautiful..

[@keiara8867]

Thank you for having this conversation. It’s important for us 4c girls to love and care for our hair. Not only take care of it but never feel like it’s something wrong with our hair. Embrace it.

[@kiwij7705]

From an American pov, seeing non black ppl wear black hairstyles is problematic because when black people do embrace their natural hair and wear natural styles they are discriminated against and marginalized. California, my state, had to pass the Crown Act a couple of years to attempt to remedy this. Natural hair can lead less jobs opportunity and exclusion from spaces that thrive in anti blackness (clubs, bars, events). Seeing children being sent home because they’re wearing braids and it being called an unnatural hair style or seeing young men get their dreads cut in order to compete in a sport is blatant overt racism. If black ppl hair was embraced I wouldn’t mind other races wearing the styles , but if black ppl can’t even wear their own styles then no one else should either. I don’t care if they find it trendy, edgy, different or if they genuinely just like it. Not too mention the amount of black fishing and disregard of black women in this social media IG era. I can count the number of times when I know of non black ppl saying the most racist things about black ppl and then go to vacation to a predominantly Black Country and get their hair braided in the same style they would otherwise call ghetto on a black American. If there’s truly only one race , then no one should be able to wear these styles or everyone should be able to. Or at very least respect ppls cultural norms.

[@chisomo8088]

thank you! I really wish she pointed this out. I'm Nigerian and even I know this. Black Americans started wearing wigs due to discrimination, popularized it, and it moved from the west to Africa. Its not as black and white as this video presents it to be. Even some corporate environments in Nigeria are not very accepting of natural hairs in certain situations. This is a result of westernization for us and discriminations for black americans.

[@melissalouidor4302]

Well said! Thank you!

[@chinweaniche-hall3895]

I totally agree with what you're saying. As a 7yr naturalista, I find that wigs help me as a protective style. If I had to pull and tug at my hair every day, my natural hair would be nowhere as healthy or long as it is. I am a headband wig girl. The hairdresser thing is so true. However, some hairdressers are catching on by offering to take down your braids, wash and blow dry your hair before doing your hair for you. You just have to find the right one.

[@DLTT8]

Letting other races wear black hair styles would bring more acceptance though. If the majority have been conforming to “white” hair styles, then having more people wear and enjoy black hair styles would make it the new norm. Most who want to do this do appreciate black beauty so it would help with fighting against the prejudice of black hair more than anything.

[@VeeEnyi]

@@chinweaniche-hall3895 that's a fair point but you could argue that the cornrows under your wig is the protective style. The wig is just to cover the cornrows because some people feel it makes them look more presentable

[@Greatboldness]

You’re making good sense! Profiting of our insecurity is so real and Especially when you said if you feed yourself other hair textures when you see yours, you won’t be pleased, the same is true if you constantly define your natural hair until it looks like a texture you don’t have and you also are displeased with your hair in its true state. Great video!

[@LethalLemonLime]

As someone who is black (Nigerian -American) and has lived in Korea for about 8 years. Seeing that type of perm is not common and is generally looked down upon or is just seen as a young kid just trying to be cool or different. My Korean coworker told me how she wanted to get a perm to look like my natural hair but how she can't because of what her family and other people would say especially since she's already old. Also my hair isn't popular here. I get tons of compliments when I wear a type 3 curly wig, but virtually none on my type 4 coily hair. I think that is part of the nuance you're lacking. The people getting braids or perms to emulate our hair are doing it to temporarily be trendy or cool. But we're doing it to fit into beauty standards that unfortunately don't include us at all. If our natural hair or hairstyles like braids someone became part of the beauty standard then it wouldn't make sense to gatekeep. But until them, I'm not going to fault anyone for feeling some type of way when they do it, when we aren't appreciated when we do it/have it.

[@chi2om]

I agree to most of this. Except the appreciation part. We don’t do our hair for others to appreciate. If you like it and how it’s styled, that’s all that matters. I get more compliments on my textured wigs than my natural hair. I still leave my natural hair out the most. If others want to appreciate or not, we shouldn’t care.

[@howtotododo]

I also only wear my natural hair but it’s winter rn and my hair breaks a little so I’m trying out wigs until the weather gets less intense 😭😭I love my hair and I can style it rlly well but damn can’t a girl just want versatility 😂😂

[@kathleenking47]

I'm seeing some asians using thio perm, to make their hair look afro

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

Make our own standards.....that's what we are here for, to lead not follow. My blonde is my own twist to my locks- respect everywhere I go, no matter the country. So it's how do we rock our naurwla in a way that's the height of beauty. It takes time. But we have it. It might mean shaving some designs, putting some ribbons, butterfly, or jewelery, but our crowns are the blueprint

[@mutelarsorhougbe4606]

Mmmm! Fantastic comment!

[@JoyceBabatunde]

If you feel like wearing wigs, go ahead. But when it becomes a crutch for your confidence, then it's your inner woman that needs a glow up. A younger girl once asked me how I am so confident with my hair (Mind you, sometimes I do the bare minimum) and I have "level 6" 4C hair 😅 here in Cameroon we call it "Kuncha Mbanga" (iron sponge) 😂 I told her simply, I decided that I am enough - As I am. There will always be room for improvement (like honestly I'm hopeful I can take better care of it and show out more!) and I'm open to that. But at the core, I am enough. And every woman is. I hope they know that... 🦋 Thankyu Maraji ⚘️

[@jasminsimpson1324]

Well said!

[@VivSees]

Beautifully stated!!! ❤

[@lavieestbelle6068]

You did a great job with this video. You expose the lies we tell ourselves. We don’t like our hair. Yet wigs are problematic !

[@mendingwall3823]

She says wigs are problematic and protective style is an excuse. But then wrapped the video up by saying wigs are beautiful, she will continue to wear them and they are protective. 🤔

[@lovesgonnagetyou]

The over reliance on wigs, weaves and extension has not in the majority of cases been protective of our hair. What percentage black women have as a consequence suffered severe, often irreparable hair damage, including traction alopecia, thinning, bald spots? Our natural hair, in all our textures is beautiful. Time to wake up!

[@farinahmomodu9608]

As someone who’s had microlocs for 4years I’m glad I made that decision. I love my African hair and for me wearing a wig now just feels so weird, so I have fully embraced my hair and one day when I get tired of my locs I rather be on low cut than wear wigs.

[@Busolami-y6c]

something about wigs irks me. so I just switched to locs and slowly fell in love with my hair

[@nikkisovain9429]

Do you have any issues with them popping off from being so thin? I’m thinking about getting them

[@nellymckenna6552]

@@nikkisovain9429 They do not pop off unless u mismage it, especially with the reties

[@nellymckenna6552]

Microlocs were my bestest choice too! I never did wigs nor weaves, just braids..and the thought of undoing them, detangling & washing, choosing a braid & a style, going through the salon pain of blowdry & plaiting--even just doing natural hair routines, eyy..[Doing all that & my hair never passed shoullder length mind you] I had had it! I installed them & loving them 3yrs later. I cannot imagine detangling my hair ever again😂

[@Tanniab09]

Me too. I dont like wigs, i feel like they even have spiritual energy. They cause people to act wierd. Even the eyelashes do this IMO.

[@ebubeirene]

You made a lot of sense. I cut my hair because I was genuinely tired of maintaining it. After some years of accepting how beautiful I looked Bald, I started to remember how good my hair actually was. Over a year now, I'm accepting how different my hair looks- wet, dry, in the morning, frizzy by noon, with conditioner, in cornrows and beauty is still all I see.. 💕❤

[@Lisette121]

This is a very sensitve topic. As a young girl I was teased for having 4c hair by both bw or mxd women. Also, when I wear fake hair I get the most compliments, I get approached more by men. I know as bw we need to embrace our real selves more. Also many of us do it as a means of convenience, but I get how it makes us appear to others.

[@rosam674]

Let me ask a silly question. The men who approach you only when you have a wig on, what do they do when you remove it. Do they leave? Is it worth having them around if they cannot stand your authentic self?

[@Lisette121]

@@rosam674 I just saw your reply. They don't leave, but prefer me to have it on

[@Lisette121]

@@rosam674 and no, it's not worth it to not like me for me

[@Bloooooooooopp]

@@rosam674have you never seen mxn that bash black women for “fake hair” and say they only date natural women?? A LOT of them say this. They also say this about makeup. I don’t wear makeup but I refuse to date a man like this. I’m tired of other black ppl generalizing. We literally cannot get a break as black women. Even from other black women😪😪

[@Bloooooooooopp]

@@rosam674I have long natural hair and don’t wear makeup. Doing it the other way around is still disgusting and bringing us down

[@ShaySunshyne]

14:02 YES! I remember a couple years ago, working on my hair all weekend to get a pretty slick natural bun like yours. I came into work that Monday and another black woman came up to me & said “when are you going to get your hair done?” I was APPALLED 😂 Like ma’am, my hair IS done! Bye!

[@itsjoie3983]

It’s like this lady at church was shocked/confused that I didn’t have a wig on.Mind you, I mostly have my natural hair but she was new so didn’t know this. She generally said it as if I forgot to put clothes on or something😅.

[@ShaySunshyne]

@@itsjoie3983 😂🤣 right! Like ma’am! I look fine! Don’t be policing me with that outdated hair ideology lmaooo

[@paulalee2345]

U should have told her to Go Find Her True Self!

[@27453ehdurbri]

I get this all the time and they never understand when I explain to them

[@tantig5923]

😮 Oh that took a lot of gumption!! I hate to be antisocial but, this is why I drink my water, mind my business, play my Tambu/Salsa/Soca/Frevo music and do my work and Dare anyone to say something like that to me…. Oh no They head gone bad! 🇧🇿🇯🇲

[@elf5435]

I agree with you on a lot of points, though some black people need to realize we can grow our hair without wigs, it’s manmade anyways and our ancestors didn’t wear wigs to grow their hair at all so it makes no sense for some to think wigs is the only way for black hair to thrive!

[@zarario4444]

Growing long hair has a lot to do with genetics.

[@ruthagbas]

My hair is so tough and even with all the moisturizing and conditioning, it’s pretty thick and tough to comb. I used to hate going to salons growing up because I’d have to carry extra money and my own combs (incase my hair broke the salons comb). I sat up one night, took a scissors and cut my hair at night myself (at 8 years old), my mom was so upset but I finally had peace 😂. Growing up, I noticed that even though my hair was tough, my scalp was so tender, so relaxers terrified me and I was forced to go natural with my very thick 4c hair. Then I also noticed that leaving my hair out caused sun damage to my hair where they’d change color so I started to wear wigs, I love that really thick, blow dried hair look and that’s majority of the wigs I have. My natural hair hates being out, just 5 minutes of air drying and it’s tangled and matted even with all the products. Right now, my hair is natural, really long (I get those oohs and ahhs from people when I come to the salon to wash my hair, my hair is 18 inches when blow dried and almost 20 when straightened). I could literally sell those hair growth serums and snag all the customers but the truth is my hair does thrive better when left alone in cornrows and I appreciate that. I think we as Africans should learn what works for us and do it. Classism isn’t the answer.

[@Kingofthenet2]

You said a word girl! Period 🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@emmanuellan.m1294]

😍😍😍wow Are we hair sisters? Unfortunately i didn't know how to manage my hair and relaxed it like 3 years ago. It didn't help, my hair still hard, my scalp is still sensitive. Whenever i go get my hair done i cry. It's so painful plus where i am apparently the water is not good and that has lead to my hair breaking, changing color and being uneven. I trimmed all the dead ends, all my length is gone. It's almost like i cut the half length or more My hair is still relaxed and i want to see if i can learn how to take care of it. If i fail i may just go back to my natural hair with beautiful coil but hard to manage😂 However, i want to give it a try. Any advice for me please 🙏. I love my hair but i just never leart how to love it properly.

[@sucharandomchannel]

Omg, this is my life!

[@true4585]

Your hair is not meant to be combed but finger detangled. Look at a comb. Look at it. It’s clearly designed for straight hair. It’s common sense. I don’t even comb my hair and it’s thriving. I just used a really good deep conditioner. Shampoo (sulfate free but sulfates when it REALLY needs to be cleaned). Shea butter to lock in moisture. And JBCO for oil.

[@WilliamsPinch]

@@true4585what YOU do for your hair is for you. She figured out what works for her.

[@MaryroseMandarin]

Here in the UK, I've noticed since young that most Carribean women, no matter how thin, short or 'unhealthy' their hair is, they will rock their natural hair 24/7 over wearing ANY sort of extensions. I think this is ingrained in them from young by their parents that they should appreciate their natural beauty, how God has made them.

[@deevasquez1171]

Lmao carribean women in the UK are the main ones wearing glued in green, pink and yellow weaves and wigs, dunno what UK you’re living in

[@Coco-uk9tv]

​@@deevasquez1171I have to disagree disagree. Some Carribeans yes, maybe certain women from Jamaica, but generally Carribean women are not into wigs etc. It's been traditional for generations that young Carribean girls were taught how to manage and look after their own hair, and it was also a great feeling for young girls that they could finally look after their hair without mum doing it. I find that many west African girls, especially Nigerians did not grow up with this tradition.

[@MaryroseMandarin]

@@deevasquez1171 Oh interesting, okay well I don’t really see that but I guess it depends where you’re situated. Maybe back in the day it was more common but not so much today…

[@justdoit.86yearsago]

True, I never even saw black school girls wearing wigs or weaves until African people came here in larger numbers.

[@fatugassama1548]

Growing up here and in Sierra Leone you had your hair washed and either done every week. When I came to London I found it strange that my cousins and friends kept their hairstyles for 2 to 4 weeks. Time and money. I have had both relaxed and non-relaxed hair and worn wigs and extensions. For me it's about flexibility.

[@Cry4theSun]

This was a well balanced video about this topic. I only started wearing wigs a few months ago. Some people who decide to stop wearing wigs/weaves say it feels freeing. Ironically for me, WEARING a wig has felt freeing! I spend LESS time doing and stressing about my hair. I no longer have to worry SO much. I have 4c awkward length hair. Been natural for 11 years and have had multiple set backs. I’ve tried and tried and finally caved into experimenting with wigs. So far no regrets. We can love our hair, but we can also be honest about the fact that yes, it DOES take more time to care for and style than other textures (thank you for touching on this. It’s annoying when people act like that isn’t true and accuse you of self hate). There’s no shame in wanting a break from the time and effort it takes. Many of us have busy lives. Plus I find that wearing my hair out too much hinders my hair goals. I want to wear my hair OUT (in fros, puffs). But wearing my hair like that all the time leads to more tangling and breakage. I want to grow long hair. Nothing is wrong with short hair. But everyone has different face shapes and bone structures and with MY face, I find that longer hair (whether kinky or straight) simply looks better on me. It frames my face better. I feel prettier with my wigs as a result. And I’m tired of settling for an awkward length fro. I want to wear what actually LOOKS good on me. And with continual wig wearing whilst taking care of my natural hair, my hair will grow and grow. I look forward to finally seeing real progress with my hair. While wearing a variety of beautiful hairstyles in the meantime.

[@odi320]

The issue with other races wearing our texture is that they don't face the same discrimination and they often appropriate hairstyles. They get to enjoy our cultural styles without carrying the weight of being black. Although I do agree with you that some of the discrimination we face comes from our own. We have to look inward and heal from the years of being taught to hate ourselves.

[@annayosie]

Yet you see black women walking with 60 inch straight/Brazilian hair,wearing hair textures that aren’t ours

[@omariesimms5795]

@@annayosieno one is being discriminated against for having natural Brazilian hair as that is the beauty standard, whereas being black ISNT. They aren’t comparable

[@annayosie]

@@omariesimms5795I’m saying we wouldn’t have this problem if y’all wouldn’t complain but at the same time wear hair in your head that isn’t YOUR TEXTURE,so you look dumb trying to make this argument,most black people don’t even like type 4 hair

[@thebadkids2320]

@@annayosieyou literally read her comment and missed the whole fkn point on purpose… when has silky straight and silky loose wavy hair ever been discriminated against, banned, and hated on? Tell me when?!?!

[@idfkwtr]

but why stop another race from appreciating our hair texture when alot of us dont even appreciate our own😢

[@goldn909]

I feel wearing wigs doesn’t always mean someone doesn’t like their hair. Sometimes they just want a style that they can’t do with their real hair without dyeing it or straightening it. So I think that even if you have natural hair you can still enjoy a wig sometimes. It’s also very trendy.

[@jasminsimpson1324]

Absolutely!

[@gracegeorge7285]

Problem is…that’s all we basically do as BW. We always find an excuse to want to “protect” our own natural hair from the elements and yet never get to wearing out that “protected” hair for the most part. It ultimately leads to neglecting our own natural hair.

[@Shes.peachy27]

I agree, it is also easy to just throw on and go. So many white women wear wigs for the same reason. Me personally, I'm getting more lazy with my hair because I don't feel like being bothered most days because I work so much. My natural hair is beautiful me I just don't feel like dealing with it. I also love variety and get bored quickly

[@Winterraine20]

Exactly, just don’t forget to take care of your hair. I love my hair and go to the salon once a month outside of my routine at home.

[@adouglas2308]

"WE"???!! Please don't speak for me because your comment most definitely doesn't apply to me nor all black women.

[@davinauche3195]

Being a black woman is having to be treated differently while having a different hair style. Also… to be honest with ourselves is for us to understand that it is an issue, it is a business, it is also true that we find different things aesthetically pleasing eg (weddings you’d see wigs, prom, wigs, weddings wigs). While wigs can be protective, it also speaks to a larger issue of texturism. Thanks to different content creators, like Maraji, Chika,Beverly naya, honorable mention Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, we have all these examples. Also our hair has kinks and curls. I for one didn’t start off liking my hair or knowing how to manage my hair, I was transitioning to natural. I think the mistake I made was not appreciating and loving my hair with its shortness, with its texture and gentleness. Now ? I’m in love with my hair it’s a constant struggle to not “slick, and make it malleable “ to adjust to what the hair wants to do. However now there are so many natural hair enthusiasts and influencers that have created different products, techniques and styles to help combat dehydration, etc. also a lot of people due to self hate also view natural hair and unkept, lower class, associates it with poverty. And wigs with wealthy and just appeasing to a higher social class. Lastly… the crown act was passed because people were also discriminated because of their natural hair, and their God given hair. So I still do not stand for cultural appropriation as well.

[@Serenityblu23]

It didn't pass in every state though😢

[@thatssofathia]

It is a social construct and an unfortunate result of many years of ignorance. This video is definitely an important step in the right direction. 👏🏽

[@Thegoddessgenesis]

🌴 I have THICK 4C hair and I decided to LOC it 4 years ago and I have never felt more confident and GORGEOUS in my entire life. You can’t tell me nothing different. It is convenient and definitely less time consuming. I get to literally wake up and GO. Not sure why so many black women are against locing their hair, but I left the struggles of fighting with my hair in the past. A wig could never compare to these locs that hang down my back. And they are STRONG, no breakage. If you have hair loss issues, I understand wearing a wig. But if you can grow your hair, DO IT. Then show it off ♐️💋

[@marissaclayton4889]

This is a well structured essay you are giving us. I’m here wishing my lecturer had given me an assignment on this topic . I will just score 10/10 because of this video

[@chantalsmissingselfawarene7655]

You’re right! I don’t like my own hair. I don’t even wear wigs. But the amount of money and time I have to dedicate to my hair for it just to look OK is insane! I don’t envy others because I deep rooted self hate, I envy because their hair is easy! Omg the amount I would pay to just be able to put my hair in a ponytail and go and he considered socially acceptable .

[@nathalieaveluo]

Same, there have been days that I’ve called out of work or didn’t go to school because my hair wasn’t “done”. I used to simply wish for looser textures because of the convenience. On top of that, product just naturally SITS on my hair creating a weird white cast. It never absorbs into my hair very well. Having type 4 hair is ridiculously unmanageable unless you lock it up, shave it off, or relax it. It just saddens me that we’re the only race with this hair and it’s not fun. It’s easy to break off, get tangled, but it’s hard to manage, comb, style, wash, etc.

[@chocolatte522]

I love your honesty. Frankly I think the whole "protective styling" excuse that's so pervasive is bs escapism because no one wants to be this honest and admit as much at the very least, if not more. As she said, the same with make up, because in all honesty we don't like the way we look without it. If we can start being honest, we can start having an honest nondefensive unguarded conversation, and grow from there.

[@Ese-sl1xl]

We are used to taking care of hair for looser textures that's why. We have watched many cartoons and programs showing how to take care of looser hair so to us it is easier. This is another reason apart from the fact that our hair is more fragile. We wouldn't even have the concept of a ponytail if everybody had 4c hair. Also, we keep trying to put our hair in styles that are not best for our hair@@nathalieaveluo . For example, an afro was easier for me to do in the morning than a bun. Plus looser textures are not that easy to maintain as you think it is. They have to shampoo and condition every day or mostly every 3 days, usually people straighten it because most people don't have pin straight hair and their hair is not as versatile as ours. Everything has advantages and disadvantages

[@thebadkids2320]

All I use is a $5 hair lotion to moisturize it. How are u trying to get it to look? Because many bw pack that hair in products until it’s so weighed down and looks like 2 or 3 type hair

[@ladybird491]

What do you mean okay? Saying that is still self hate.

[@dealex08]

Omg Yas you nailed everything especially the whole us bashing other cultures about wearing our hairstyles and yes I'm so sick of it as well. This was my first time coming across your channel and I just subscribed because you said some amazing points about our culture that needs to be addressed. Thank you, I experienced so much hatred from black women over hair it's insanity.

[@mendingwall3823]

I think she should've mentioned that black women are put down and called ghetto for wearing our natural styles and they had to pass the crown act to stop hair discrimination. Meanwhile when other races wear black styles it is considered cute or edgy. That's probably where the bad feelings come from when other races wear the styles. I don't mind white people wearing braids. I shouldnt be called unprofessional or ghetto if I do the same.

[@bettyeames6812]

I loc’d my hair 2 years ago. The best thing is just taking off your sleep bonnet, finger combing your locs and moving on into your day. I think i’m ready to give my wigs away 🎉

[@anjealin259]

I saw a short of a woman installing a wig and her remaining hairline was covered in a red, bumpy rash. It looked painful but she didn't seem to care at all. As I watched her apply a fresh layer of glue (on top of the rash) and the wig, all I could do was pray that she would set the wigs down long enough to let her skin heal. I'm a fan of people doing what works for them and hair can be a great way to express your personality and creativity. However, self love is the best love and balance is key.

[@Serenityblu23]

I watched a youtuber who had some type of infection on her scalp. She went to the er but was wearing a wig the whole time and thru out the whole two videos. Her husband had to wash her natural hair with special shampoo and she screamed because it hurt. Ever video after that she continued to wear wigs. Smh

[@anjealin259]

@@Serenityblu23 oh wow, that’s unfortunate and sad to see

[@sarebear7777]

The protective style excuse is super funny when you think about it because it's not the wig/weave that protects your hair. It's how you take care of the hair underneath that protects it. You're not protecting anything if you don't wash, moisturize, oil, etc, to take care of your hair underneath.

[@IGot7RevtinyArmyStayOnceBlink]

Thank you for saying it! As a natural girlie I learned at an early age my family is not the norm. My family does not wear wigs nor weaves so I grew up seeing my great grandmother, grand mother and her sisters, my mom and her sisters all wearing their natural hair and they all knew how to do it. So for me my sisters and cousins we all were raised to wear and take care of our natural hair. I learned in first grade though that other black people either think our hair is ugly, we are poor or we don’t know how to take care of ourselves. I was shocked and seeing the girls as I grew up cling to their wigs for dare life and always say my hair had to be fake and I need to stop wearing Afro wigs (even getting into a fight because a girl tried to pull my real hair off thinking it was a wig)… I learned wigs and weave are PROBLEMATIC AF! I’m so happy more of us are finally learning to do our hair and I pray for a future where we wear our crowns always with pride and love. My grandmother always said our crowns are the most unique in the world we shouldn’t be hiding it for the comfort of clowns.

[@GeNelly]

Was your hair really long I’m trying to figure how they thought it was a wig

[@queenrudshel]

I'm so happy this is being talked about. "Don't ever feel like your best self while cosplaying someone else's reality." -Rudshel Volcy (me lol)

[@stonerwitch4629]

finally someone admits it. i NEVER bought the “ummmmm it’s just a protective style 🤪” yeah but literally all the time though? natural hair is NOT that fragile to the point that it can’t be touched by the breeze around us bro like you’ll be fine. and it’s either always straight or a curl pattern looser than their natural one. i have 3b/3c hair and when i straighten my hair, it looks as if it’s naturally straight and so i became obsessed at some point with straightening. i know embarrassment of one’s own natural hair when i see it.

[@mendingwall3823]

Is there a time limit on protection? If you have something important, do you protect it once in a while or everyday? Protective styles protects the hair from the damage caused by manipulation, heat, humidity and the natural elements which can cause breakage. Wigs allow people to have a variety of looks while leaving their own hair alone. It is usually a different texture because most women don't want to spend money for the same hair which will bring the same difficulty they already have. Straighter is much easier. People who don't have 4c hair don't know how much of a challenge it is. Natural hair is beautiful, howeve beauty doesnt always come easy. Even the lady in this video doesn't have 4c.

[@stonerwitch4629]

@@mendingwall3823 with something like hair, you ‘protect’ it once a while and then let it breathe for a while as well. if the ‘protection’ is 24/7 masking, then yeah there’s a time limit when it comes to how you truly feel deep down about your hair. daily masking, especially solely with a hair texture foreign to yours = i don’t like it, it is ‘bad’ hair. if it’s beauty, learn to work with it. ancestors did fine. it makes no sense. it’s beauty yet constantly mask it with straight. sometimes things just need to be admitted, many people (and i assume including you) don’t like hearing prejudiced talk about 4c hair being ‘bad hair’ outloud but they live that narrative internally. like in these comments, siding with such narrative by trying to justify daily straight wig usage.

[@amani2222]

The bottom line is we spend too😂much time worrying about what is on our heads and not in our head. Most of us don’t like ourselves and believe that wigs and makeup will make us more beautiful. Not so! Be true to yourself and fake to no one.

[@annholl1603]

The only issue i have with weaves and wigs is: people don’t wear hair that matches their natural texture (straightened or curled). It makes no sense and looks pathetic. FIRST time i ever wore weave, i had 14 years old and it was a straitgh one with a texture today refered to as “kinky straight”. The amount of compliment on my hair was wild! From that point on i understood why. I could easily tell Why people would be enamored with “my” hair way more than they would be with my cousin’s, friends, neighbours… my weave locked like it grew out of my hair, in totality! You see, Paris Hilton wears weaves, a lot of white women do (just take a look at Victoria’s Secret fashion show). The thing is, it “makes sense”, it mimics Their hair. I pray for the Kinky straight, kinky curly, kinky wavy hair to gain traction. BW Will run the world with their beauty! It is so much flattering 🥹 PS. English is not my 1st language ❤

[@thetruesoulofanaquarius9302]

I agree 💯 but for the longest I didn't know they even sold Kinky bundles. Kinky bundles just started getting push within the last few years. I do sew ins and clip in yaki bundles I absolutely love it. ❤

[@thebadkids2320]

I think the silky straight wigs are for non black women with that hair texture. Black women please stop taking their protective hairstyles and wear our own😂😊

[@thebadkids2320]

@@thetruesoulofanaquarius9302I do agree. Most kinky weaves were synthetic. Human has now become popular and easier access now that many are asking for it in that texture

[@Clara_immigration]

I personally just wear wigs because it saves me a lot of time getting ready for work in the morning

[@efeoyakhire6824]

My sister... Sometimes I feel these topics are just over stressed. Like there doesn't have to be a negative side to everything. A lot of people wear wigs because they are convenient. For me I just love braided wigs, they're very convenient and easier to handle compared to weaves. And yes it saves the stress of maintaining your own hair sometimes.. I'm sure it doesn't mean I h8 my own hair 😂. Like can we chill 😅

[@gracenguni3734]

Same and when I have time to do my properly,then I go out with my hair

[@favouratta6047]

​@@efeoyakhire6824exactly like 🤦😄

[@efeoyakhire6824]

@@gracenguni3734 well.. at the end of the day..Maraji is a content creator, it's her job to come up with engaging topics. I guess that's just it.

[@gracenguni3734]

I agree alot she talked about in this video....

[@marquishahunter1]

I think this conversation is missing nuance. Colonialism is a thing. Indoctrination is a thing. We can’t pretend it isn’t. Cultural appropriation is problematic due to the fact that our natural hair was/is literally persecuted & seen as not professional & unkempt etc.

[@chibaby800]

The fact of the matter is, It will always continue because people will always judge you by your appearance. A society that believes black hair looks unkempt, childish, ugly will always remind you and it will always take huge amount of confidence to ignore that. If i hear compliments more when I wear wigs, guess what will be reinforced in my mind? wearing wigs makes me looks better to people. A society where people center their lives around appealing the male gaze too will always have women that will do what gets more attention from their males counterparts. A lot of men can say they like natural hair but only show that they are drawn to the unnatural ones. Things as simple as telling schools girls their hair is unkempt when they don't sleek it down or braid it will keep on reinforcing these behaviors. This is a deep rooted issue and has too many layers to it right from childbirth that makes it a bigger issue than just the "its an insecurity" talk. I think this problem is even worse in countries like the USA where you can have people advising you to wear a wig for a job interview because wearing your natural hair can deny you a job.

[@WhatIShayyy]

Yes to all of this!!! I wore my natural hair (no relaxer) to a recent interview. It went well but I’m so worried that it could effect me getting the job vs. if I would have just worn my wig that looks like a relaxer past the shoulders… this is not my first job but even being in my late 20s I know that natural hair can sometimes make it difficult to get hired.

[@chibaby800]

@@WhatIShayyy That's just crazy, what kind of world is this where you have to be worried about the hair from your head denying you a job? its sad things like this will always reinforce the use of wigs and extensions. Can't expect people to embrace their natural state when its always criticized?

[@WhatIShayyy]

@@chibaby800 unfortunately still over 50% of America view natural hair-Afros as unprofessional. Hopefully one day our natural hair is embraced & uplifted in society. But at the end of the day I am not my hair🤷🏾‍♀️🧠

[@jovanr614]

Thank you for being honest our Type 4C hair is the most difficult to manage. I’m not saying I don’t like my Type 4C hair but the truth is the truth,it is very time consuming. I started my natural hair journey in 2013 with a big chop. My hair now sits below my shoulders. I have never worn wigs or weaves but I will get hair braided at least once a year. Other than that I 2 strand twist, wear Afro, Bantu knots, and updo buns.

[@julianabarbosa8501]

10:53 As a Brazilian I agree, and wigs/weaves are something quite new for us, we use them for fun, It is too hot here to keep a wig for more than a day or 3, we mostly use our hair out, in braids or in an Afro puff

[@CinnamonSanctuary]

Thanks for this video Maraji, you’re touching on a very delicate topic. I wear wigs as a protective style and yes because I don’t think my natural hair looks good on me. It’s thin, frail, has zero body and I honestly don’t feel comfortable wearing it out. I also occasionally wear braids, but because of my fragile hair, I have to be careful and can’t have them too often. It does annoy me when people tell me I should embrace my natural hair, and that’s usually coming from people with thick, luscious hair that lends itself to beautiful styles 😂. Hair is such a complex topic, I think it’s important to not jump to conclusions about black women’s hair choices. When I wear wigs, I do favour the kinky texture though so as close to my natural hair texture as possible. I’m not a fan of the silky straight styles because, well my hair doesn’t look like that. In the same vein, we can criticise people for covering their grays or even wearing braids which require extensions. Why are extensions ok but not wigs, extensions are not natural either but is it better because it’s braided?! Makes no sense to be critical right, because where do you draw the line? Let’s just be understanding of each other’s circumstances.

[@gracaatangana526]

I get your point but for me it's all about texture. "Who do you want to look like ?"is always what I think of. I associate braids with my African roots so even with extensions it still reflects "me" the African girl in a way. If you ask people to think of African hair styles they think braids. But when you (always)put on a silky straight wig when there is Yaki and kinky wigs who do you want to look like?(and I am not talking particularly about you, it's just an example of what I have observed) And also why do you want to look like that? Is it just convenient? Aren't there any underlying insecurities? And I do believe that for some people it's actually just convenient but it is not for most, and that is true. I literally had people ask me why I was not wearing wigs, because to them it is the norm and I am the abnormality. And that is what bothers me at times.

[@gracaatangana526]

And sorry if my English is not good, as it is not my first language 😅

[@CinnamonSanctuary]

@@gracaatangana526 Yes, a lot of it is definitely rooted in insecurity, which has been addressed in the video as well. But as Maraji correctly pointed out, in a lot of other cases it is convenience because if you saw underneath some of these straight silky wigs, you'd find a head full of luscious beautiful that has reached that level thanks to the protection that wigs can provide, which takes us to the valid argument of protective styling. Case in point, Cardi B's natural hair goes down to her bum - when straightened it looks exactly like the silky wigs she tends to wear. Do you honestly think she's insecure about her natural hair? I doubt it! There are varied reasons why people choose to wear wigs, some because of confidence issues and others purely out of convenience, some for health reasons etc. Ultimately, it's nobody's place to judge a woman's choice of hair, be it natural, in braids or with a wig. Because when everything has been said and done, at the end of the day, it's just hair!

[@CinnamonSanctuary]

@gracaatangana526 Your English is excellent, I would never have guessed it's not your first language 🙂

[@mayoagamah8022]

I totally understand you and truthfully, it's something I struggle with because I also don't have full hair, although it's long. In this case, I occasionally twist my hair and wear it like dreds or do styles that still look like African hair. Personally, I like wearing wigs as a protective style and to look different from time to time. This doesn't mean I don't love or take care of my hair. I believe everyone should do what works for them and they should have the right motive for doing whatever it is they're doing for their hair

[@digiconvos]

Thank you for this video. I prefer braids to any type of hairstyle on my hair. I never really liked my natural hair cos it was always breaking and falling off when I combed it, and the hairstylists always complained about how full my natural hair was. I started saving to buy expensive wigs cos they looked fancy, and these wigs still fall or shred when I comb them. Now I will just stick to wearing my hair in braids. I can change my braids to different styles when I want and still look cute.

[@blessbkmn]

Do protein treatments on your natural hair and trim them ends!!

[@TiMariee]

I'll agree with you on the Ignorance part. When I was much younger, I could not! handle my hair. Comb could not go through and my mom always struggled and always ad iced me to shave it. But I as I grew older, I started watching videos on hair care and now I have a healthy hair and (my mom sef cannot believe it's the same hair she used to struggle with) lol. Ignorance is a big one.

[@chineloochonma4821]

First of all, I would like to commend your video editing and quality. I'm watching this video while twisting my hair because I'm honestly tired of wigs. Moving abroad really changed my perspective on styling my natural hair. I wear my wigs and I feel like I'm trying to be who I'm not. I style my natural hair and I feel my look is not 'giving' (Maybe with my long wavy hair I will look better). For the first time in my life, I'm trying to understand my hair texture. Our hair being difficult to handle is a mentality we have passed on for generations. The hair texture of white people is also not easy to maintain but guess what? they maintain it. They are used to washing and blow-drying their hair almost every day. Their hair also breaks out a lot but you don't see them wearing wigs. The key to this is to accept your hair and accept it is beautiful and it is your identity as an African woman. P.S Sorry for the long comment 😅

[@Iammijaran]

Thank you maraji, the pressure that comes with owning a bone straight hair is real😂….I have been pressured with fact that I don’t have enough to comfortably afford one without going back home to cry😂

[@antoniaabraham1346]

I spent the entire 2023 on my natural hair. Granted it was a financially motivated move, but it has been very empowering. I was thinking of of wigs lately but cheers to us.

[@tzionahrafaelahadams1387]

My sister,I had that same encounter. Where I was asked why I don't use wigs or synthetics,as if that is the in thing..I tire for us African people. Thanks for this topic.

[@shanicegordon8331]

This might controversial but when black women says natural hair doesn’t suit them - I don’t always jump to the conclusion that it’s self-hate or ridiculous. I always question why black women are always considered hating themselves when similarly to white women that change their hair colour or texture permanently throughout their life time or another certain of their life (mid 20s) onwards, is not considered as hating themselves - they enhance their looks. Think about Marilyn Monroe (brown bushy hair - blonde with looser curls) or Adele (naturally flat ginger hair - now curly blonde). No one has ever said they hate themselves for making that permanent change 🙃.

[@user-sp5ck4fs1n]

I don’t know if you’re being purposely obtuse or if this is genuine corncern bht the answer seems quite obvious. Those changes in those white women can be found in other white women. Many white women can have loose curls or be blonde or both. They can also have brown, blonde, and ginger hair. That isn’t really out of line with their identity as a white women. However most black (monoracial) people don’t have straight hair. And the ones that don’t make up for the ones that don’t. When most black women get wigs they aren’t aiming for a hair color alone they are aiming for a texture. One that usually is drastically different from their natural one. (Especially the 4c girlies) It’s a lot more obvious when a black girl with type 3 or 4 hair is wearing a straight it wavy wig than if a white woman with curly hair wears a straight one. Because which race is more likely to have naturally wavy or straight hair?…exactly. So the assumption of self hate is dumb but the implication of being under the influence of certain beauty standards is obvious. So your point doesn’t really make sense.

[@shanicegordon8331]

@@user-sp5ck4fs1n I didn’t really need a whole historical lesson about different ethnicities and hair. I already know that. You completely missed the point, which was simply - regardless of who historically have what hair texture of whatever race; anyone can make any permeant or temporary changes to themselves if they want. Additionally, it’s unfair that black women are always told or it is insinuated that they hate themselves when they make such changes, when a white women is celebrated for “enhancing”/making similar changes. Also, even if they wore their natural hair out - they are still bashed about the texture (no winning). Yes, your right about white women having those textures and it might not look drastic when it comes to wigs. But black people are also capable of having naturally straight hair too, might not be common but it exist (there are tribes in Africa with naturally straight, blonde or ginger hair). Just because it’s not common in the black race (not that it doesn’t exist), doesn’t mean black women should be limited to style their hair to what is common. Furthermore, I know you mention black women are aiming for texture but I did point out that white women do the same (although I don’t think that black women are doing it for mainly textural reason). From the example, their texture and hair was dramatically changed too. Now that I’ve over explained my point, I hope you get it now. If not - just let people do what they want, especially black women - too much hair policing is happening.

[@user-sp5ck4fs1n]

@@shanicegordon8331 “I didn’t need…” I didn’t answer to or care for what you needed I simply pointed out your comparison was nonsensical. And you still didn’t get it because you ended up repeating points I proved didn’t make sense. I already acknowledged that some black people can have naturally straight hair. However it is a very small percentage. So small to the point where it’s not common. As I’m sure you know. I also said their existence doesn’t really matter on a bigger scale as most black people aren’t like that. So it doesn’t matter. Their existence doesn’t change the fact that straight hair isn’t a COMMON black feature. Simple. My point is bringing that up was commonality. When white women make the changes the new look is still common in terms of their race. Black women having naturally straight hair isn’t “common” globally, not in the sense of it not being possible. I don’t believe black women have to be limited. 4c hair can be very versatile. But most black women have complaints about that hair type and aren’t willing to explore that. Which is their choice. I also don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with black women wearing wigs. However should be more honesty if someone is going to have this conversation without inequivalent comparisons. I’m not arguing against black women and wigs. I’m saying that your complaint lacks nuance and logic.

[@shanicegordon8331]

@@user-sp5ck4fs1n🥱😴

[@samirhopestone6642]

Completely agree with shanice, you've missed the point your just here to argue a point that no one was even talking about. Its been emotional 🫡

[@sweetybyrd65]

I have seen so many women of color wear wigs and weaves that are not taking care of their natural hair underneath. It’s like put it away and forget about it. That’s a good way to have severely damaged hair that is harder to take care of and recover from. I also see these same women with fake lashes, tons of makeup, colored contacts, etc. It’s easy to assume that there is some self hatred going on and that makes me feel sad for them.

[@TT-fn1xb]

Never worn a wig in my life. Never will. I had relaxed hair until about 10 years ago when I did the big chop. It’s been great to rediscover my hair and its natural texture. I love having my hair out. No blow drying or pressing or anything. Just my natural fro. It’s not easy. I’ve had to do a lot of learning and I treat wash day as a self-care day otherwise, I’d rip all the hair on my head out. 😂😂 That said, I think each to their own when it comes to hair. No judgement.

[@PraizUthy]

The confidence I have gotten here in the US with having my locs out even when it’s gone really frizzy ehn! I never got such appreciation back home in Nigeria, people at home will always bash the locs. Maraji has nailed it that it’s their ingrown insecurity. Thankful for self appreciation.

[@thesilentbloomer7976]

Thanks for making this video, very insightful. I stopped wearing wigs because it caused me alot of psychological confusion. I've never been happier!

[@ntenewe3321]

I love you for being honest, I love my natural hair and I’m a natural hair advocate if I may say so myself but still doesn’t rule out the fact that type 4 hair is the hardest to care for, coupled with the fact not all type 4 textures are the same also some people have extremely soft scalps, I love the fact that people are encouraged to love their natural hair but then don’t make it seem like if a person chooses to wear a wig their taking the continent backwards ejoor 😩

[@favouratta6047]

Exactly this should be pinned you just gave a wonderful point i have type 4 hair so I honestly get it's difficult to maintain plus some of us who naturally don't have good hair no matter who we do/ what we use.

[@Kingofthenet2]

I agree with you 100%

[@taii_chii6782]

It’s not the hardest to care for. We don’t have to wash or straighten your hair daily. Washing your hair can easily take 1-2 hrs, it’s doesn’t have to be super long/stressful

[@JaneDoane]

@@taii_chii6782 exactly ✅💯

[@thefeminineeye]

People do a lot of maintainance for wigs as well so I don't really buy the hard to maintain thing. I think people just think natural hair is not worth the maintainance@@taii_chii6782

[@iamsandycat]

The irony is that when black people wear wigs its self hate, when white people wear braids its appreciation 😂

[@KC-ed1dj]

The numbers of them wanting to wear "our" hair is very few. I don't ever see them in afro wigs and braids walking around. Now, on the other hand...

[@shakirashakira8545]

Even as a person that owns a wig company, I can say you've made some good points. It is nice to see more Black women wearing their natural hair.

[@mayoagamah8022]

Thank you Maraji for this. In 100L (first year in the university), my roommates thought I was deeper life because they met me with my natural hair. I found it so amusing 😂. Like how can you tell I'm deeper life, just cos of my hair.It's really really deep. I'm not entirely against wigs because wigs help when you don't have time to make hair and they really do help me personally with protective styling. I believe what matters is the motive behind wearing the wig and honestly speaking, i know my own motive is right because i loveeeee my hair always✨✨. Also, I'd like to bring the fact that not everyone as long full hair and let's face it, natural hair is prettier when it's full and long and not everyone has that, no matter the hair care you do, because having full hair has a lot to do with your genes and some people don't have the genes for long and full hair. So let's all do what is best for us✨

[@27453ehdurbri]

I am a bigger fan of your because of this post! Thank you for being a voice for this! I hope many other black female celebrities will do the same ❤

[@Frank-Bediko62]

I seen Asian women laughing at blacks for paying for their hair.

[@kimanimargie_]

Thank you for this conversation...I always relaxed my hair coz "it was easy to manage" and it was what people called "presentable" I went natural 7yrs ago and I couldn't take it coz I felt like I had the worst hair texture I have 4b/4c hair and 1 and a half yrs later I ended up relaxing it but I hated how my hair looked,it was easier to manage but it made me feel like I'm not myself so few months later I started my natural hair journey Its been 5yrs now and it took me this while to understand my hair and texture and I fell in love with it even more I wear my hair out in afros,twist outs,bantu knot outs and rocking different hairstyles with my crown and I've never been more confident I think we as black women we need to take time and understand our hair learn about our hair and not follow all the trends happening on social media Just do what works for you. I've never been more proud of myself and my hair and Ladies YOU DON'T NEED EXPENSIVE PRODUCTS TO CARE FOR YOUR HAIR!! All you need is moisture (I use water) and a sealant(any oil or butter) and you're good to go just style it however you want.

[@AdrienneTheStar]

I used to think it was just older people that thought our natural hair was not "cool". Probaby because a lot of people didn't have their hair out when they were younger. But I'm in the university now and I have transitioned to natural (virgin) hair and some of my course mates are telling me to relax my hair. That virgin hair is not fine. That I shouldn’t just put my hair in a neat sleek bun to come for practical exams, I have to do braids to look smart. And I'm like wowwww.

[@fortuneataisi]

Great talk indeed. You're giving Candace Owen's energy. Thank you for talking about this. 😍😍😍

[@bluebird4815]

I will forever rock my mid-back length 4C coils. It is so easy for me to look after coz i have always been natural. Tried relaxer once and my hair threw a whole tantrum. So now, if my afro is not out, i braid it up. Mother nature created us with these coils and kinks for a reason. We need to take so much pride in it.

[@freetherapywithme_]

This video just made me learn to appreciate my natural hair more. Thank you sis❤

[@abimb7226]

Agree with the points in the video. However, my situation is different. I HAVE to wear wigs. I have an autoimmune condition that caused significant hair loss. Like really huge bald patches that can't be hidden. I can't shave my head because there are dents and scars from when I was really sick, so wigs have been my saving grace. What I am now experiencing is people thinking I don't appreciate my natural hair and I have had so many negative comments even if the wig is 'nice'. The depression I have had over losing my hair was so bad, I kind of don't care anymore about the comments. So before anyone criticises about wearing wigs etc, make sure they are not going through something awful like sickness and they actually NEED wigs. As it was scarring alopecia, I have been told my hair will never grow back. It has been 15 years.

[@samueldemide7205]

I like this video particularly because it is well balanced. It is devoid of unnecessary sentiments; looking at the different sides of the argument, seeing the value in them and coming at reasonable conclusion. Well-done Maraji. Well-done.

[@a.aimuan]

17:43 listening to this and imagining girls that would spend money and time maintaining their wigs but their cornrows have been on their hair for weeks, looking dirty and unkept. It would be cute if the same energy was applied on their own hair

[@oluwadolapoolatunji3739]

Yes o, I totally agree with you

[@SanaaJadeCruz]

I agree with most points but imo 4 type hair is only difficult to maintain when you are beating it into submission. Theres alot of square pegging into round holes.

[@Moriountodun]

My best decision aesthetically was cutting my hair a year and half ago. I have a 4c hair and I would colour the tip gold and pack it up in a bun. In fact the bun was my signature and everyone at work knew me with that style. 2021, I was going through a lot at work and maritally. Before I had the time to style and moisturise every morning before work because hubby would drive me to work then. All of a sudden, to beat traffic and use public transport then still work on the hair, make food and make it to the office before 9am got so difficult ….. Besides, I noticed the middle part was stunted because of the default style of packing into a bun. One morning I struggled and I was frustrated almost to tears. And that was it, walked into a unisex salon and I was like cut it off. The female stylists there at the ladies section thought my head was not correct. One month later I walked back and told them to cut it some more. I’m very happy now and there’s no colour I’ve not painted my extremely low cut hair. I’m more focused on skincare now TBH. I enjoyed every bit of this video ❤️

[@damnedifidonut]

Damn I'm also cutting my hair, and I'm happy, but everyone is always telling me to make it because I look ugly in lowcut. But low cut is so easy😭 Also, I hope your marriage is better now, too💕

[@didimarcus277]

The stress in maintaining african hair is on a high level. The pain is extreme let's be honest

[@Timi1111]

I really like your makeup.. so natural.. so skin like.. it really fits your tone. Another thing I think you should talk about is how much makeup black women use. It's a whole lot. It's almost like we can't strip ourselves of all the artificial things and just be beautiful. We feel like what we naturally are is not good enough.. People rarely act movies in their natural melanin skin.. it's crazy.. Relaxers have been proven to cause cancers and makeup products have quite an amount of toxic chemicals in them.. our struggles are real but we should embrace ourselves more and stand for our own standards of beauty. White folks are already doing surgery to have our features so we are truly beautiful. I personally don't really wear wigs. They give me literal headaches. I literally put my hair in cornrows and go out. My hair is also texlaxed.. I relax like twice a year very minimally.. I noticed the longer I deep conditioned for even days.. the easier and more moisturized and curly my hair was.. our hair just really loves and craves moisture.. That's my two cents.

[@kusariworships]

💯!

[@favouratta6047]

Can y'all just let some things be some people actually do love wearing makeup so because you think it's to much then they shouldn't?

[@favouratta6047]

@@c.d4442 yeah i get it I'm not a makeup person myself i can't even remember the last time I wore makeup that's cause i naturally / generally don't like it, but i know some people who do the will put on makeup where ever they're going they love it and they also love themselves without it to.

[@PrincessYonna1]

Idk I see other races use more makeup than black women. Add in Lip fillers, Botox, tans to that. All races of women wear makeup, I’d leave black women alone with that one.

[@meowcat712]

​@@PrincessYonna1that's what I was gonna say. I've seen Latina women and Arab women with POUNDS of makeup

[@Vivi.Machine]

You go sis! Very necessary conversation & beautiful delivery. We have to love ourselves, we have to hold ourselves accountable, because otherwise we will perpetuate the same racism and erasure that we & our ancestors fought to destroy. Love starts with us.

[@senoradelvita]

"Type 4 is the hardest hair to care for" because we have been conditioned to wear relaxed hair and we have access to bone straight wigs. We no longer know how to care for own hair, then we say it's the hardest. (Meanwhile all the hair asks for is moisture/water and oil). I bet none of our great grand mothers would have said that about their hair. It was just their hair, not "type" anything and not the hardest. Another thing is that the standards of beauty and what is considered acceptable as "the corporate/formal look" are very much western. Until the latter changes, African women will continue to look like photocopies of Caucasian women hairwise😂😂😂😂Anyway, the brainwashing continues.

[@christianayusuf1954]

It is the hardest hair to care for. I've never had a relaxed hair and I agree with her... 4c hair is indeed the hardest to care for.

[@JaneDoane]

💯✅ exactly !!! I know I was going to read this here ... Something you don't know/ never learn is not easy, of course Like you say the brainwash continue 😭🫠

[@abioni6092]

I think that comparison is the thief of joy. What is the point of comparing our hair to that of other races? It doesn’t look the same or act the same. It’s like comparing apples and oranges.

[@senoradelvita]

@@abioni6092 Words on Marble: COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY

[@momomamabaebae]

VERY WELL SAID

[@miracledamian]

I'm a natural hair coach and this is so beautiful ❤. You look beautiful too🥰

[@diyallthings]

Imagine we African and black women have been raised to hide our hair, well our men also grew up knowing that that was the norm and some of them are finding it hard to accept the natural hair. Men we are all struggling.

[@ulir6442]

I wore wigs almost my whole life, and convinced my self that it was a "protective style" for me. In reality I used wigs as a crutch. I've always had thick high density type 4 nigerian hair. During the pandemic I big chopped my relaxer and got sisterlocks installed because I wanted to embrace my natural hair. I still wore wigs over my sisterlocks due to the short length but drooled over photos of women with short sisterlocks. 4 months ago my loctitian encouraged me to stop the wigs and embrace my short length. I'm a little over 2.5 years sisterlocked and started wearing my sisterlocks out 100%. I feel so free not having a hot scalp and rocking my thick natural sisterlocks. My hair is finally thriving and gaining length so fast now.

[@KAye633]

Perfect honesty ❤

[@TheSamuelwilliams]

Some black women will go their entire lifetime "protecting their hair", never showing it the light of day. So what exactly are you protecting it for? The afterlife?

[@everythingispolitics6526]

😅😅😅 Solid post

[@lotusblossom223]

Yes

[@koyaharvey-walker3794]

Honestly I have so much respect for my mum because she raised me to love my hair and I have never relaxed it or worn a weave or a wig because I had healthy thick long kinky coily hair 4c. I had enough resilience from her to never consider my self less beautiful with my own hair as it's all I've known and I've been in every social setting with this hair. I strongly disagree with the fact that type 4 hair is hard. It isn't. My wash day is 20 minutes max. I shampoo condition brush in the shower then wrap in a towel, add leave in spray and then a cream and put it in a bun until the next week. The bun takes 3 minutes

[@The_Ola]

This is a whole Powerpoint presentation. I loved every bit of it!

[@PascalineKelechi]

Until I moved to the UK, I didn’t realise how it’s only us Africans that are obsessed with weaves. Other ethnicities and races appreciate our hair, braids and styles. It’s so sad how we don’t appreciate our own hair. I am most insecure when I’m wearing wigs and it never feels like me. I’ll rock my God given hair

[@carenewatie-rv5uo]

I honestly cannot relate to all these stories cos I’m obsessed with black/African hair. Growing up just like Maraji I wasn’t allowed to grow my hair and going to a boarding school made it worse as I kept shaving my hair all through my secondary and high school life. I only started keeping my hair and braided for the first time when I got to the university. It hurt me so bad to keep up so I was advised to relax it(putting certain products that made it softer). I had so much hair and my hair growth was so rapid such that I had to relax or retouch atmost 2-3 after the last time. Naturally I’m not a wigs kinda girl. I only have 1 curly wig I used for graduation and later gave it to my mom cos I barely used it. So I enjoyed braiding my hair or just tying it in a bun cos it was my favorite. Unfortunately years later my long thick relaxed hair got ruined at the hands of these relaxers. My hair started breaking(I have very thick strands), became uneven and getting so brown. I even lost my texture at some point and so I decided never to relax it again. That’s how I started my natural hair journey😍 I’m so obsessed and inlove with our hair, the stress that comes from caring for it, protecting it and styling it. It’s almost a year today since I stopped relaxing my hair and later trimmed the relaxed part above. I’m so grateful I did that cos I love my hair so much(sometimes I take my braids off earlier that I should just to see it and wash it and play with it🙈). I’m still trying to learn a lot about my hair and the right products for it but I’m inlove with the journey. I think I’m between type 4 or 4A hair but very thick so I’m not really sure where I fall(please if your amongst help me with good products I can buy cos presently I only use Cantu and I don’t know what to actually add cos I think my hair needs more) My search engine on IG is filled with different types of black hair cos that’s what I watch and search all the time. It’s so satisfying just watching others love on their hair and care for it so much. I certainly love Maraji’s content, my friends and I follow her every move and post but I personally got attracted to her more cos of how proud she wears hair, styles it and keeps it protected. Thanks so much for this videos and I hope we all picked something positive out of it.

[@TheStamps]

I like wigs and weaves because of protective styling and I like the look of them. I work really hard treating and protecting my hair strands every single month using protective wig styles; it's feels amazing reaching new milestone goals within my hair journey. I'm evening helping to teach others how to care for their afro-kinky hair and wig instillation as well. I do believe that black individuals sometimes can have a bad view of their hair because they may not understand how to care and manage it properly so some may run to wigs and weaves for the wrong reasons. I love this video and the topic. This topic has been ongoing since the1930's! Yes, look it up yall. I just give glory to the King, Jesus Christ who created hair for our enjoyment and creativity:)

[@BeautiDon]

Same here for protective styling and to increase hair growth with lesser manipulation

[@TheStamps]

@@BeautiDon yes girly! It helps a ton 💕🙌🏾

[@BeautiDon]

@@TheStamps it really does! My microlocs are flourishing because of it!

[@d1gitalsonder]

I big chopped not too long ago and have been really struggling! I am mixed race and American and my dad is black and my mom is white. I can definitely see the classism in it too, and live in a very classist state with a large racial wealth gap, and I am not rich. I don't really like the feeling of hair fake hair in my head, it's itchy, uncomfortable, a pain to put on etc. I like using wigs to try different colors without damaging my hair. I hate wearing one as a security blanket in a daily manner. I also question the ethics of how these companies source this hair and it does weigh on me. My hair is growing and I am learning to feel beautiful and feminine even with shorter lengths. It did not help that I have a white mom that never learned to do my hair growing up, and when I would come home crying from being teased at school about it, she would just offer to straighten it (450 no heat protectant and a paddle brush). The next day, everyone at school would tell me how pretty I looked and that I should do that every day. I have pretty course and thick 3c hair, and if this is my experience, I can't even imagine the hell my type 4 sisters have to go through. It's so strange because I love how it looks on any other black, African, or black bi-racial woman but have struggled so much with how I feel about the way it looks on me. Definitely some internal stuff I have to work through. I got a wig that's about 8 inches (looks more like 6 because of the curls), plop on and go, and looks like my natural texture and curl pattern. It is baby steps, but progress for me. My goal is just to throw it in a couple months and have it help me get used to wearing out the shorter lengths. I hope to eventually grow my hair out and loc it, as it would help me to maintain a longer length and resist any temptation to manipulate/damage my hair. My grandma and great grandmother have always encouraged me to wear my natural hair. My great grandmother is the matriarch of my dad's side of the family having migrated north from the south to escape jim crow and sharecropping, and I am lucky to have such a positive black female role model. This video was so refreshing and comforting at the same time! One love

[@samileeable]

Maraji i want to acknowledge all the work you’ve been putting into your videos and starting conversations, nigerians hardly have in a meaningful, honest way. Keep up the great work!!! Edited to say: I'm sure more people will find your video after the natural hair controversy that happened on the podcast and to see that you’ve really given a nice presentation of the problem. Infact, excellent! Tips for anyone struggling with their natural hair: There are TONS of content here on KZbin, follow people with similar hair texture on KZbin and IG. This will allow you to normalize having natural hair and not spend time envying others with the invisible lace wigs or looser textures. Also, space out the time you get protective hairstyles done and experiment with products, and techniques esp if you don't have a social event coming up. Allow yourself time to fall in love with your hair in a safe space, but you HAVE to put in the work. And instead of relying on wigs/weaves all the time, scarves or turbans, are a beautiful cultural adornment we can use for those struggle days.

[@kcourtney6826]

As a Gen X African American who grew up in the 80's and 90's I guess I have a different perspective. I've worn my hair in plaits as a little girl, had it pressed, jheri curls, relaxers, sew in's, my natural hair has been long and I've cut it short (like Nia Long). Personally, I've always been proud of how versatile black women have been when it comes to hairstyling versus other ethnicities. To say it's all "self hate" is subjective , any person who makes hair, clothes, or body image their entire identity has bigger issues, I think most black women enjoy being creative with their hair whether its natural, weave, braids, or color.

[@tosinakinlade9506]

Thank you for talking about this. This is a conversation that needs to be had. You mentioned something that struck me. You said you had to cut your hair when you were younger because your dad thought it was a distraction. I cut my hair throughout secondary school too because I was in boarding school and a lot of boarding schools could not bothered with helping girls get their hair braided, talk less of teaching us how to care for it. This is the reality that many of us faced so honestly, I don't really blame anyone that wears a wig because we were never taught how to care for the hair we have. It is only now in my 30's and having two beautiful girls that I am learning how to care for my hair by learning how to care for their hair. I have learnt so much and I am still learning. And I still wear wigs but I am trying to reduce my dependence on them and I wear my hair out a lot more. I think we all need patience to learn how to love our hair and you will try and learn 1000 things that don't work, but we will also get better.

[@aishageorge3056]

When I realised it was mostly subconscious self hate, I stopped wearing any hairstyles which weren't black. I wear braids, faux locs mostly. But since a Nigerian braider tore out my hairline recently, I got an kinky afro wig until it grows back. Really natural looking, I get compliments all the time. I'll never wear straight or non-black hair texture on my head again. Black and beautiful, society cant convince me otherwise.

[@KC-ed1dj]

Rub organic castor oil in your hair as much as possible. You can use it as a pre-poo oil treatment. Give it time to soak into your hair follicles. It will grow your hair back. It's also great for eyebrows.

[@lesstrashmoreclass]

Our type of hair is “harder to manage” b/c many of us were not taught/conditioned from an early age to care for our hair. Most of us transitioned into embracing our natural hair at a later stage in life. If we can make a conscious effort to equip future generations with the tools and teach them to genuinely love all and every part of ourselves they won’t find it cumbersome.

[@abentertainmentt]

I love this episode so much… we need to talk more about this topic

[@tperrien]

Interesting conversation. I love the international pov. In general, if you can't exist without depending on European-based styles, there is an element of self-hate.