Why We’re Fated to be Lonely

Loneliness shouldn’t be seen as a strange aberration; it’s a basic feature of life we should make our peace with in good time. If you like our films, take a look at our shop (we ship worldwide): goo.gl/S0FBYd
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FURTHER READING
“There are few more shameful confessions to make than that we are lonely. The basic assumption is that no respectable person could ever feel isolated - unless they had just moved country or been widowed.
Yet in truth, a high degree of loneliness is an inexorable part of being a sensitive, intelligent human. It’s a built-in feature of a complex existence…”
You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: goo.gl/4f21eg
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Jesse Collett
www.jessecollett.co.uk/ #TheSchoolOfLife

[@ligal1092]

It's crazy how we all feel the same and can relate to eachother yet we feel like no one understands...

[@Lynn-ru7rk]

I noticed it with myself.. feeling with the other person is one thing. Putting my empathy in words, so that they get it is another. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's comic.. Yet it is definetely a learnable thing *cheer*

[@abovethelaw4417]

im not sure if we live in the same world but in my world people always insult loners and say hahaha u have no friends like seriously there is nothing wrong with being a loner

[@8BallEyes]

true

[@luismadrid3380]

its called the hedgehog dilema...

[@zzospreyzz55]

This is called depression

[@andysterdam]

"Loneliness is a tax we have to pay to atone for a certain complexity of mind." Bravo. Eminently quotable.

[@moneyAllPowerful]

good quote indeed, although surely there are complex minds out there that are open enough to understand my simple one :)

[@nealkelly9757]

Onderzoek It's BS though...only a minority of the population suffers from chronic loneliness

[@andysterdam]

Neal Kelly I think he's talking about a much deeper sense of loneliness--the existential loneliness we all face, even if we're surrounded by people 24/7.

[@andysterdam]

Szymon W Humility is the beginning of wisdom. I think you're much more complex than you let on my friend. :)

[@nealkelly9757]

The quote is just not true...our large brains are not the direct cause of loneliness, perhaps indirectly because of the social stratification caused by capitalism...but complex minds should be able to find a way to defeat loneliness

[@zain1smith]

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone”

[@ARTDEVGRU247]

Orson welles

[@ARTDEVGRU247]

I really love that quote

[@manellemaiouf7389]

It hits so hard but true at the same time

[@richarthur3069]

The Irish have a saying, “You’re born in pain, live in suffering and die alone! Have a great day.

[@redpanda6497]

@@richarthur3069 So basically we're all deemed to die away with an useless life, alone.. that's motivating..

[@brigittesaint-pe2604]

"I hate these people who deprive me of my loneliness without bringing me company" Irvin David Yalom

[@cameliaa8069]

WOW!

[@kuoinc8604]

Happens every time...

[@loretaben1663]

I have almost lost my life trying to please fake friends who were around me for what they wanted to gain but their hearts were very far from me. I am alone now but at peace and safe.

[@elsaaforges]

What a quote! It could be said by the character of his novel, The Schopenhauer Cure. Lovely.

[@Deelovesthebeat]

loreta ben same Literally almost died just to please others and when I was in the hospital all of my “friends” n even lover never showed up I was in there for a month.. now I’m back to work w very little friends but at peace and very happy .. I’m glad you’re at peace too.

[@Suku919]

"The history of art is the record of people who couldn't find anyone in the vicinity to talk to." _well said_

[@GuilloRamiro]

Beautiful! ❤👍

[@euanelliott3613]

The curse of every artist is to be loved for what you do, but not for who you are.

[@J.A.Hansen]

@@euanelliott3613 Exactly.A few years ago i was reading an interview with the Australien Popsinger Kylie Minogue.And she said》When you on stage you feel like a super women.But when the show is over and you are alone in your hotelroom you feel like the loneliest person in the world...

[@johnandrews1061]

Spin around (like a whirling dervish) clockwise(yang northern hemisphere/yin southern hemisphere) or counterclockwise (yin northern hemisphere/yang southern hemisphere) (torus spinning). Chant any of these mantras 3 times each while facing east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northernhemisphere): "ieouah", "um"(like "from"), "aum" and "om". Sleep with your head placed east, west, north(in the southern hemisphere) or south(in the northern hemisphere). Stare into the flower of life before sleep. Perform the 5 Tibetan rites. Play music at 440hz, 528hz, 432hz, and 396hz.

[@andrewfreiji4647]

@@J.A.Hansen That's how I feel when I work customer service and talk to all my shallow and fake regulars only to go home, lay down and stare at the ceiling.

[@DrWaadAminFitnessNutritionist]

“The irony of loneliness is that we all feel it together” - Rupi Kaur

[@Emit.]

True

[@BantryBai]

Insightful

[@jman30ification]

" Enduring loneliness is almost invariably better than suffering the compromise of false community."

[@eduardochavacano]

which is why Id rather be alone on bdays than be with friends that make feel I had to feign happiness.

[@rosettesionne9139]

True

[@jRex918]

But what would be the idea of a false community? What is a false community? Everybody seems to have different opinions on what would be considered false.

[@rosettesionne9139]

@@jRex918 I think it is simply to be surrounded by people who don't accept you but force you to behave in a way that suits them

[@hudspace]

I believe what he actually said here was “forced community”. Either way, it’s elegantly stated.

[@onlyonemitch5049]

I prefer being alone, then surrounded by lots of people who make me FEEL lonely

[@lucymcnamara4558]

Me too.

[@Jackgritty28]

Never assume you feel isolated, a complex existence, disturbing to society, failure to comply means you remain alone, are you blaming yourself or your environment, conspiracy theory, is it my fault, despite the spite, no one loves anyone, realise that people won't get you, was it out of character, it suggests your lonely ⛔

[@miguelgomes1152]

It's so bad belong to people that make me feel lonely 💀 goddamn

[@goldminutes]

This made me feel a little less lonely.

[@NPJGlobal]

Ashley Nguyen don't be ashamed of it, embrace your loneliness

[@lukefrombk]

NPJ Global ^^^

[@1292liam]

she isnt ashamed

[@esmeraldabandz8652]

Ashley Nguyen same

[@SalekeenNayeem]

hey Ashley, hope you have a wonderful day!

[@ZeroEdge0]

When I’m lonely I sometimes wonder if I’m at peace or just hopelessly lost

[@mr.nobody4994]

That`s impossible. The two are as different as day amd night!

[@Aivottaja]

I know what you mean. Dunno if you believe me or if it matters, but I do. When I'm alone and doing things by myself, something in me sticks something sharp in me. It communicates something like: "You're wasting time. Why aren't you out there trying to meet people? Why aren't you fixing the reasons you're alone? Shouldn't you be doing something more constructive?" And I feel some sort of strange guilt afterwards about all the times I was alone, but which I can remember and even revere. I get bombarded with doubt about whether or not I'm avoiding something, being lazy or choosing the easy way.

[@reebee474]

This is inspiringly insightful

[@Bing4000]

i feel the same, it really sucks

[@JaneDoe-sz9oy]

I feel you, guess I am on the same boat as you are. Especially when I see happy people surrounding by family, and friends I feel like an outcast.

[@Jane-gi9lp]

"We appeard on Earth at a different time" that cuts so deep , because it is so true

[@SoubhagyaSahoo]

Exactly we can never find one who understand us completely and thats make us unique and ALone

[@elfst.]

It’s so funny how we are a lot of people who can understand each other bc maybe we have similar stories but probably we will never meet

[@AL-kj8zo]

What's even "funnier" is that if you met in real life you might not enjoy each others company at all because you'll fight over the right to represent the thoughts which you both share.

[@bikosankara7417]

@@AL-kj8zo 💯... I think there won't even be a connection if we met. If does happen we meet, our relationship has to be spontaneous.

[@genocyber0101]

Never say never .. ✌☺

[@hayathussain4177]

Yeah

[@Jide-bq9yf]

Tell me about it . But at least we’ve a glimpsed a community , no matter how widely it might be dispersed .

[@nara5058]

Anybody who came here to watch this, including me. I just wanna tell you it's okay. I feel scared too.

[@garxia5960]

park chanyeol is a giant baby fight me we are all we have, yet we keep killing each other and poisoning our home 😔

[@Kid_Legend_4_Life]

Park Chanyeol im scared ill live a long life

[@unruhigematerialflut]

Hey! Nice to meet you!

[@unknownsleepyhead1999]

I was scared i'm the only one...

[@applesewer2684]

Aww this is such a sweet comment. Nearly made me cry

[@mazieferreira7757]

I'll take loneliness over fakeness every time.

[@dogets1]

u nd i should be friends... This is the exact quality i look for in a friend.. And i believe u and i share the same quality..

[@bramo4587]

Mazie Ferreira Well, everyone is at least a bit fake. Right?

[@bramo4587]

i SkyWalKing Jesus bro, chill out.

[@christpilled2460]

i SkyWalKing what the actual fuck

[@donscott923]

Mazie Ferreira me too..

[@theringmaster3684]

For some reason I’ve always had a premonition of me dying old and lonely. I don’t fear it, I am ready to accept it if it is my fate.

[@bikosankara7417]

Don't be afraid likeminded, Immanuel kant was never married when died alone at the age 80.

[@organicfarm5524]

I fear the loss of consciousness, not particularly death but ultimately it is the same thing.

[@jaynestag95]

Deaths ok and at least you get a sleep and a long lie in. 😊

[@EmeraldView]

When I was younger I assumed I would die old. Now that I'm older I'm hoping I don't have to endure this life much longer

[@johnhulsker9123]

I'm there now, in a remote mountain location, it's likely that no one will claim my body and I will end in the county incinerator,

[@MartinBluck]

"It's better to be healthy and alone than sick with someone else." - Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil)

[@phillmeup9517]

Female Dr. Phil?

[@julianjulezstanleyredding5333]

Very true and I am alone currently and in better shape physically and financially than I ever was whilst with a badly matched partner. But have you ever met a woman youd be happy to die with than spend your life without her?

[@julianjulezstanleyredding5333]

@Eric Grijalva I'm so sorry for your loss . My girlfriend who Iived with had heavy depression and took an overdose one night whilst i was away , she was found literally moments before my return, too late though . That was 1993 and i haven't been fully right since . I just had to adapt and get by as best as i could . We wouldve got married, i know that now as I've never met anyone I've been so right with as we were together. Sad tragic story . All the best , I hope you find some peace and happiness.

[@ramichahin2]

I highly disagree with the premise that we are alone. I am not alone, I have God Himself, all of His Holy Angels and The Church with me, you do not know the comfort found in Him, knowing that you are not nor will ever be alone or forsaken because that's who He IS. seek Him while He Is Near beloved. seek Him while He can be found, you are NOT alone.

[@julianjulezstanleyredding5333]

@@ramichahin2 thanks and I wholly agree, as I too believe in God. I'm a Christian, however I'm a very open minded Christian that a lot of Christians would probably, hypocritically judge . But I do believe in God and Jesus i have way too much reason to believe . But i have to keep an open mind . I'll never turn away from christianity but i entertain others interpretations .

[@PRL2204]

"Enduring loneliness is almost invariably better than suffering the compromises of forced community. Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding on to a sincere ambitious view of what companionship must--and could--be." Wow. So true.

[@lyvsix]

Jeremy Signorelli yeo, these words suddenly made me feel so good. I thought I was too picky with friendships but this way the few I have are really intense and interesting.

[@boxinghighlight7061]

Jeremy Signorelli fuck that

[@boxinghighlight7061]

Jeremy Signorelli try being lonely your whole life not by choice

[@acchaladka]

Julio Sanchez yes. The answer this video is giving, is, try art. Goethe felt the same, surrounded by friends.

[@omni42]

Until you can't, anymore.

[@ichorous7434]

"I'm lonely, but everyone is lonely so I know at least I'm not alone"-Eyedea

[@360.Tapestry]

RIP

[@servantrose]

there is definitely a difference bt feeling lonely and being alone without people around or interacting with you.

[@grim3016]

He had some of the most beautifully dark poetry I've ever heard, loved his work.

[@libraryofthelabyrinth]

thats deep

[@ichorous7434]

SBR Grim Right? It's a shame that he had to leave so early. R.Eye.P

[@anilthapa651]

At first you are lonely and then you slowly start enjoying your own company,than gradually you realize that it's blissful to be alone rather than a curse.

[@loretaben1663]

Absolutely

[@lori6954]

Or you're in denial. We need human connection as living beings. I believe we need to feel connected and this comes from a very introverted and detached person.

[@lori6954]

@Ari Jappendi We are pack animals, we need to be amongst our kind to survive. All throughout evolution humans and their ancestors needed a pack. For food, for social interaction, for reproduction; it's what kept them and keeps us alive. Buddhist monks can achieve "peace" as you call it but i do not believe it is ideal or true. I believe they learn to trick themselves into thinking they live in peace which works very well, not going to doubt that but it isn't true.

[@matheusfrota95]

I think the problem is the social game that rules our society with great influence today. I mean, if a person is pure and want something positive, most of the time the person will conflicted with social "rules" that are stupid... Media and all this crap alienates people... Too much materialism, I don't know... I really think if a person can be alone and don't engage in destructive addictions, is very positive.

[@matheusfrota95]

Just to be clear : I'm completely in favor of a true companionship. I'm not a " companionship" hater at all. Cheers everyone !

[@strawwberryyy]

The stigmatization of loneliness makes it all worse but I'm glad we've gotten out of it slowly

[@cosmiccelebrations3282]

“The history of art is the record of people who couldn’t find anyone in the vicinity to talk to” ♥️

[@sarahconnorh4609]

Not really sure of this one :') but if that can make you feel better why not

[@carmichaelmoritz8662]

@@sarahconnorh4609 its my belief that most comments come from bots

[@sarahconnorh4609]

@@carmichaelmoritz8662 I'm not one. + I've studied history of art in France and i don't make it like "woaw such a great personnality such a great human" we are all the same, morons xD

[@timothylines3867]

here[sex pistols]they gotcha covered.

[@tsyasemakun6123]

Based on my experience this is true. Even a person who once mattered everything to me is not someone I could easily talk to. They may appreciate art without knowing the feelings behind it.

[@danacampbell1958]

Why do we talk about the weather? Sometimes it's all we have in common.

[@icanolliehaha]

Dana Campbell never thought about it that way, such a beautiful thinking of senseless small talk

[@Laz651]

And that I guess is the meaningful intercourse we have in a world of often, meaningless hyped up jargon that constantly bombard our thinking through facebook, etc.

[@danacampbell1958]

Very thoughtful and good responses. It's windy here today and a bit cool. How's your weather?

[@thoughtsandquestions317]

its very sunny and tropical with a slight breeze, despite the fact it is the middle of autumn, but that is typical of being near the equator

[@KB-jz7tk]

that's a very deep and insightful thought!

[@Linda-9037]

I understand me perfectly...I like me immensely. I enjoy my mind, humor, talents, inquisitiveness, observations and everyday experiences.... I enjoy me.... I also have two dogs to cuddle Life is GRAND..I am, happy, blessed and wouldn't change a thing. I am alone ...but never lonely. I am my own best friend and I am the best friend I have ever had.

[@meghna7863]

That's the best and most positive outlook to have .. Especially if you are alone. But aren't there moments when u are hit with an strong emotion of not being around many people that really understand you and can share your everyday dreams, hopes and miseries ?

[@Linda-9037]

@@meghna7863 Nope...never...honestly...never... Valentine's Day it would be nice to get some flowers and some candy but only nice... not necessary.... if I really want them I buy them... I do have family I spend Christmas with my kids and lots of other times too but I live alone and I love love love love love it

[@Kataharrison6974]

I’m gonna make this a daily affirmation for myself! lol.. everything I feel I should feel but my thinking mind stops me. I am grateful I am me. 😊

[@lilisokay6364]

thank you so much for this video. i have been an introverted, 'lonely' person all my life, but have sadly come accross the road of changing myself for the pleasure of others, fitting in was my main goal. like the end of the video said, being what you might call lonely is better than suffering the compromises of a false community. i have accepted a long time ago i'm lonely, but have just come to the fact that,, it's okay. i prefer being who i am, practically friendless, than hiding behind a mask, and fitting in society's expectations. good luck to everyone out there struggling, and (please) be yourself! the world is a much more interesting place with YOU in it.

[@Grotok]

I am speechless. I've reached reasonably the same conclusion when I was little. I couldn't say it out loud, but I've felt this way my entire life. This video was so motivating for me

[@jessica6608]

Yes! I felt exactly the same way, but everyone tells me I need to reach out to people I don't connect with in shallow relationships... I finally feel just a bit more sane now that I know that there are other people out there who think this way.

[@Grotok]

I ended up hating shallow people until I realized there is no behavior that is right or wrong. If their shallowness comes either from ignorance or is intended (or most probably both), it doesn't matter, it's who they are, the same way I am the way I am. So, Melody Powers, or anyone else reading, don't hate them for trying to give you, what seems to be (and most probably is) bad advice, like I did, but rather thank them or at least be nice. Take the best out of what they tell you and throw away the rest.

[@jessica6608]

I don't believe there is a such thing as a shallow person. Yes, some people may be more deep thinkers than others, most likely from exposure to an environment where deep thinking is encouraged and modeled, but everyone around is a complicated individual with secret complexities that we will likely never realize. Using the word "shallow", I was describing forced relationships and casual acquaintanceship, not the actual people around me.

[@ro734]

Grotok I'm in the sixth grade and none of my classmates are "complex" like me(not trying to brag) but I often get bullied for having different views on stupid topics like roasting. My classmates seem pretty shallow and predictable and I know I'll never fit in because of a lot of the points in this video. I'm so glad I can move back to my original country.

[@Grotok]

You're like a mirror of me 15 years ago lol. Focus on what's important for you while treating them with the same shallow attitude they treat you. You will, at some point, even forget they existed. It's just how school works and noone's doing anything about it, or ever will, for that matter.

[@TheClearLens]

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company" Jean-Paul Sartre

[@aluisious]

Finally a quotation from someone worth quoting.

[@ridethelapras]

Goethe (quoted in the video) is _not_ worth quoting??

[@aristeidislykas7163]

I never thought I would like a quote made by that man.

[@robertall.dawson2002]

We're born alone, we die alone, and somewhere in between there, we live alone.

[@north_star8]

After six years I’m surprised to say but relieved, that this is not the most viewed video on your channel. Which kind of describes the fact that I am unique but not alone in my loneliness. I know I am not like many others and this video is giving me more help than you could know. Thank you ❤

[@Shlooomth]

these videos turn darkness into light

[@RSVikingJohn]

+

[@Isaxus12]

Sometimes darkness can show you the light! Disturbed - The Light

[@Robzabest25]

The light was always in the darkness

[@heribertogaytan5782]

there is no light without darkness

[@Milk_Honey11]

there is no darkness without substance and light. light hits Rick rock creates shadow.

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

If you can not be at peace in your own company then you can't be truly at peace anywhere.

[@geomacstar8653]

How High Can You Fly what if you're dead?

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

mangaka08​ Try face yourself and your problems instead of looking for a way out. Take full responsibility for yourself.

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

Check out a guy called Johnny Berba. Watch his recent videos. He may have some answers for you.

[@cgortz89]

That's why I'm always working on that! It's actually much better for me now than it used to be. I feel much more fine with being lonely and also when away from the computer.

[@Yaorii]

I'm fine when I'm on my own. It's mingling with my other that gets tricky. I'm in that relationship where there is no communication and understanding. Yet they get it from another..

[@Sameoldfitup]

“We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out, just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down with us trapped, locked in it.” ― Tennessee Williams

[@andrewfreiji4647]

Couldn't say it better myself.

[@kingspunkbubble]

Never more lonely than when I’m in a crowd.

[@jacobhiller6731]

Damn. That was profound.

[@theschooloflifetv]

Thanks for watching and commenting Jacob.

[@supermansuperman9066]

JACOB HILLER------ I THINK IT'S PROFOUND AT THE START ,THEN, DOESN'T GO INTO ANY DEPTH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BEING SELFISH ,NOR MORALS REGARDING SELFISH, USING, BAHAVOIR.

[@spookyr]

That is what the rest of The School of Life and Alan Watts lectures are for :-)

[@zacharysass1195]

superman superman------ He speaks of the power of the written word and other mediums to communicate with our "soulmates" through time.... and you want to hear about morals to go deeper into the profound....?

[@zacharysass1195]

Bill Hicks (very explicit comedian, just a heads up), Alan Watts, Terrence Mckenna, this School of Life series... revolutionary, man.

[@donnaryan3162]

Loneliness is so painful. Yet I endure it because I have hope. Hope that one day this feeling will pass and I will stop longing for it to pass because I will be content with myself.

[@touxiong519]

Donna Ryan loneliness is not painful, pain comes from longing for what you can't have. Loneliness is empty and calm, soothing and peaceful.

[@fordgt402]

Just because u see couples are happy outside does not mean they are truly happy, most are fake happiness, you have more time and space to yourselves than most couples do.

[@rahulsinghmawari0536]

@@touxiong519 it's painful if you don't want be alone and have a desire of loved and cared by someone else. But humans are pretty simple, just give them love and attention they will be all yours. Touch someone's emotion good or bad and most probably they will never forget you.

[@aluisious]

Accept that it will never pass. You will die lonely. The little islands where people come into your life are like the beautiful, warm sunny days. Appreciate those times when they come, but don't desperately hang on to that connection any more than you'd hang on to the warm sunny day. You know it will pass and it doesn't crush you when it does.

[@leelachandra1]

@@aluisious Absolutely! You stole the words right outta my mouth “I almost wish we were butterflies and liv'd but three summer days - three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.” - John Keats (poet)

[@minghui5199]

People's words and actions are scary enough as it is. Being alone is better than dealing with other people's hatred

[@judyananda]

the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself ~ Douglas Coupland

[@fredbmurphy]

Interesting comment: seems the universe deliberately wants to always spoil that need, with the worst possible solutions.

[@AverageJoe1006]

O really even for 5 years in a row.

[@crystalstar927]

lmao you feel smart got this now??

[@GuilloRamiro]

Its something scary to me, but i find it to be true! Beautiful quote! ❤👍

[@samuelj.s3955]

"Loneliness is the tax we pay to atone for our complexity of mind" this is one of the most profound things I have heard in my life

[@blueeyeswhitedragon9569]

mine was ( we ourselves have become the eater of God's)

[@richardteale3217]

This is brilliant and true …..and I am speaking from experience. One of the best things we can do is to learn to live with ourselves . If we do this we can then look for a partner but also know that if we don’t find the right one -we have built up huge resources in ourself. Far better to live alone and have friends than to be with the wrong person.

[@tonybui9633]

I have a friend group that I hang out with but I always feel like I just observe when they converse and I am not part of it. I was always a chronic introspective guy but I was making myself think my loneliness was a by-product of simply lack of trying. I think I was born to not fit in however biased that may seem. I never seemed to fit in. I always try to compensate but I realize that compensating masks myself. I'm gonna stop that and accept my loneliness. I will still hang out with friends if I want to but there's no need to rush anything. Dying lonely is better than dying next to mannequins.

[@Emit.]

I started a pre Uni program this summer and that encapsulates how I felt. I had a peer group throughout middle/highschool, but only really had one peer I sort of felt connected to and hopefully will stay in touch with past graduation. In the pre Uni program it felt like what you described but even more heightened. The total program went over the course of 3-4 weeks. At first as you'd expect everyone wad isolative in themselves being in a new environment. But as the weeks went by, various groups were being formed, and people were joining group chats, where from my observation caused others anxiety of the possibility of being excluded. Me, and possibly a few other students, didn't form into any groups. It wasn't due to me being anti social, during the program we had to present among the students within the program, which was nearing 200, and I by far had the most engaging, calm, relaxed presence. Everyone knew me, was familiar with me, but I wasn't "friends" with anyone. You'd expect no one to really be friends over the course of 3 weeks, but I guess that sense of being stuck with yourself made people make do with the peers in their proximity. I doubt many of those relationships made will last into the fall, but it was interesting to sort of see. I'm not going to pretend I enjoy being alone, the moments whete classes were over and students went out to eat I ate alone, with students that knew of me periodically coming to me to sit with me. But I also didn't want to join any of the groups that were being formed. From most they were just crowds I did not want to associate with, but I felt like I would compromise on something if I did cave in and join them. I do enjoy being alone, working away at my pc doing work and projects, but being blindsided by how alone you are in settings such as being alone in a cafeteria can sometimes make you question if you're just coping and actually being anti social. I don't think I am but the thought came by a few times during those few weeks

[@Emit.]

Possible that I'm just subconsciously worried about not having individuals I really connect with, rather than feeling like I will have "friends" that go in and out in rotation, as I go through life, which might be partially why I try and push myself in the work I do, to eventually reach a place where more people that I can connect to may populate.

[@Emit.]

Sometimes I causes intrusive thoughts of disgusting when I see someone take action that is obviously(from my POV) compromising themselves, such as some of the students in that summer program I mentioned pushing off essays until the day of, but it helps ground myself when I remember that my frame of mind vs their completely shifts or reality, so they may not even be fully aware of this issue that they will continually run into. Similar to how a person who was relatively athletic for most of their life could look down on someone who grew up to be obese, and eventually lose all their weight. 9 times out of 10 the person who went from obese to fit has a vastly stronger frame of mind compared to the person who already had a predisposition to fitness. If they had been warped into the body of an obese person it is very unlikely they could equip themselves with the framework to overcome it. It's all perspectives that make the difference

[@dong5394]

I wasnt lonely as a kid. Only as an adult. What happened.

[@insanebutnotinsane8042]

You're lucky though, I was lonely my whole damn life. Being the only person in my family, school (and probably town) who stutter can really take a kid down. Lol

[@bubblegum9826]

I think as you grew up, your mind expanded. Point of view formed. As a kid we don't observe, think or contemplate as much. But now as adults we do, which is why we search for companionship with similar thoughts ideas. But we are unable to find the same since everyone else grew up as well and formed different opinions. Idk man, I tried

[@Amy-tl2xe]

Kids are so much better at simply accepting others at face value.

[@tenzinwho2079]

complexity of the mine bro

[@stablestoic1491]

Social programming finished loading

[@SelimxBradley]

You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something. That's what the phones are taking away, is the ability to just sit there. That's being a person. Because underneath everything in your life there is that thing, that empty-forever empty. That knowledge that it's all for nothing and that you're alone. It's down there. And sometimes when things clear away, you're not watching anything, you're in your car, and you start going, 'oh no, here it comes. That I'm alone.' It's starts to visit on you. Just this sadness. Life is tremendously sad, just by being in it... That's why we text and drive. I look around, pretty much 100 percent of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard. - Louis C.K.

[@HoangNguyen-sy1be]

I've watched this interview of Louis CK, he's very true about it. He's great man explaining his philôsophy in a funny and simple way

[@SelimxBradley]

Charziken909 the point completely went over your head.

[@samansh6305]

@Finn.__.M: Not necessarily. Can be Absurdism or Existentialism.

[@OliverCowlishaw]

We're All Thieves Amazing. Love how he talked about this

[@tanktime4573]

We're All Thieves ....... goddammit shut the fuck up!!!! like your Mr or miss perfect.

[@supersonico9364]

They talk about loneliness as something to “endure”, for some of us being alone is a delight! When I’m in a group of people trying to interact with them I feel exhausted it drains me, it literally feels as if I’m diluting as if I’m being washed away it’s an unsettling feeling, in any event I make a real effort to socialize because family is important to me and they’re diehard extroverts, it’s a thing I have to “endure” because I love them.

[@rezvankordi1093]

lucky you

[@LeonaLucky]

Priceless! Surprised that this was made 6 years ago and still so relevant . Thank you to whoever made this video

[@themadhattress5008]

I would say loneliness gets worse as you become more and more intelligent. To the masses who simply cannot understand you, loneliness is quite prominent. How can you connect to people who can't understand you, or even those who don't want to?

[@trashl0rd]

True, but there are lonely idiots, too.

[@kicktheghost2974]

I think intelligent isn't quite the right word, although I'm almost certain that there's a positive correlation between loneliness and intelligence, as well as between intelligence and the actual quality in question. I'm not sure if there's a word for what I'm thinking of, and I'm not inclined to search for it.

[@kicktheghost2974]

FU 2 No, why do you ask? Also: "People don't 'become more and more intelligent'. Also loneliness can't "get worse". It's an absolute. Either you're lonely or you're not." Well, you're using those words very differently than almost everyone else does. People feel emotions with different levels of severity, and people's brains change. "And the problem is that the very intelligent person just can't abide the average idiot. If he could, dumbing his output down for him or her would be simple enough." That's a wild over-simplification of the problem.

[@kicktheghost2974]

FU 2 Yes, I was well aware of the intent behind your question. I was hoping to coax you into being less hostile. As for why I commented: impulse. I had a faint hope that my thoughts would be understood. "People DON'T become more and more intelligent." As I said, you seem to be using the word "intelligent" in an unusual way. What definition are you using? "Loneliness can't get worse. You're either lonely or you're not." Hunger can't get worse. You're either hungry or you're not. "And the 'loneliness' of the intelligent is brought on my themselves, due to their incapacity to handle the puerile babbling of those of average intelligence." What an odd way to approach the issue. How is loneliness "brought on" by the lonely if it stems from their inherent inability?

[@themadhattress5008]

I'm sorry for the ambiguity behind this comment. Perhaps I should have explained my thinking behind it more thoroughly. I believe there are levels of intellectualism, whether culturally or socially based. And what I meant by "loneliness getting worse" was the depth of how loneliness can affect an individual, or at least how much or often it is perceived. Yes, loneliness can affect anyone, no matter their intelligence, and I realise this. What I was trying to say was that some individuals of "higher" intellect, as it were, may be able to feel the depths of loneliness at a greater scale than what a "layman" might. I'm not saying that I'm a genius or anything. By no means am I saying that. Rather, I myself, am of average intelligence, and yet I still feel as I try to explain myself in topics I am passionate about, few are able to understand me. That is probably my own fault, in that I simply am not conveying the message properly, but I digress. I didn't intend for this comment to sound so one-sided or biased in any sense.

[@idesac]

Embracing loneliness its one of the hardest things to do.

[@genocyber0101]

It is ..but it can be done. .I know I've been doing it ..embrace it don't fear it.. the strength is within us ..💥☺

[@idesac]

@@genocyber0101 after one year i managed to feel in peace with myself, im not in the point i would like to, but im kinda doing it.

[@Fucklesticks]

It's easy, we can adapt to anything

[@solosindicate6000]

Becareful not to get comfortable there. You’ll want death after while

[@noahg.668]

@@solosindicate6000 I know exactly what you mean . I'm going through it now smh

[@lurkzie]

I used to find comfort in loneliness but now I have someone I can share my inner most thoughts with and I've never had so much confidence and appreciation for life Every one needs a person in their life who understands them and can give them constructive feedback

[@eldwinc1546]

Lonely we enter a long and grand tradition, we find ourselves in surprisingly in great company. Enduring loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding onto a sincere, ambitious view of what companionship must and could be. My eyes spilt their blood upon utterance of your beautiful words.

[@TheLivirus]

I find social settings constraining: full of rules, expectations and compromises. I need and enjoy social life like most people, but I have learned that my need for company is unusually small compared to my need for being alone. This is a source of anxiety, because I find it difficult to tell people I want to be alone, partly out of fear that they will interpret it as rejection, and partly out of fear that they will think negatively about me for wanting to be alone.

[@JamieDunbar]

Oh dude, that sucks. I'm very much prefer my alone time, but I've been fortunate to be surrounded by people that usually get that, at least on some level. Not sure if it helps, but I've found there are two extremes on this stuff. There are people who are extremely social and seem to GAIN energy from being around others. Then, there are people like you and me who gather energy whilst alone to be SPENT while being around others. Perhaps try explaining it that way to people? I've found it helps the socialites in my friendship circles better understand where I'm coming from.

[@Fluxquark]

You're definitely an introvert, welcome to the club! :) What helped me deal with my introversion was reading up on it, it made me realise that feeling like this is quite common and there's no need to worry. Actually, being an introvert is great, they can entertain themselves and are usually great listeners (which is becoming an increasingly rare virtue).

[@schroonsjozef]

If you are unhappy with that need, perhaps you don't value being alone as much as you think, or perhaps it's indeed just shame telling you you shouldn't feel that. Investigate further into it and find out what is true for you. Nobody can tell you this. It's your own personal and in some sense beautiful experience. I'd have to disagree with Jamie, I don't think extremes is a great way of looking at things. There's alot of grey area, mostly because people often don't act on the outside according to how they feel on the inside, for example anxious or depressed people. Also, I'd say don't fall into the trap of labelling yourself one way or another. If you're unhappy with being anxious or introverted then that it's possibly not who you truly are. And about the social settings: they are constraining, but they're like that for everyone. Try to let go of resisting this and just go with the flow. I find that helps me a ton. All of what I've said is just out of my personal experience, you shouldn't believe anything that goes against your own experience :)

[@stilts1003]

Jos Schroons OP didnt say they are unhappy. its just the way it is. what they say about needing a lot of alone time is exactly how a introvert is described. you shouldnt make people feel like they should be acting like an extrovert, theres nothing wrong with being an introvert, they usually enjoy smaller closer social environments, and usually less of it. watch the power of introvert, to see how society makes people feel like there is something wrong with being an introvert

[@schroonsjozef]

Stilts Of course there's nothing wrong with being introverted. There's nothing wrong with anything. But, as I said, I speak from personal experience and OP doesn't have to take anything I say seriously. It's just reflective of my own situation. I have social anxiety. When it comes on strong, I am an asocial wreck and I hate talking to anyone at all. When I don't, which has only begun to be the case in the last year or so, I'm super outgoing naturally. I understand why you said I tried to shame him though, but it wasn't my intent and I apologize if it came off that way. What I learned from my experience is that personality is not fixed. It's mostly conditioned by our past. Lots of people act in a way that is not at all who they are on the inside. Could be like that for OP, or couldn't, who am I to know. If you know introvertedness to be the core of what you are, then by all means be it. My own healing only started after I started to see the power of alone time. In my opinion, not being true to yourself is the real problem. What's the power of the introvert, a film? Sounds interesting :)

[@nopretribrapture2318]

Anyone else here rejected by mother, family,churches, work,neighbours, strangers, and so called friends?

[@ravenraven966]

Odd one out and about, yes

[@rogelioaguas2322]

I am rejected by those people considered as "desirable" such as normies.

[@justarandomgirl7994]

Rejected by mother, father and the one I loved.

[@dnfortner563]

ODD-one out n about absolutely. My brothers untimely death started the journey of loneliness for me. My husband died tragically three weeks after my only brother. It’s destroyed my “family” and my mother and father have completely turned their backs on me. It’s very painful to live like this. Hope things get better for you.,

[@dave32566]

@@justarandomgirl7994 me too.

[@The-bi5ry]

“The history of art is the record of people who couldn’t find anyone in the vicinity to talk to” Makes me understand why art has such a soulful place in our lives. Through art we understand our collective loneliness and even enjoy in it’s inevitable existence.

[@shre9]

This definitely makes me feel better. Makes it easier to accept loneliness. Really grateful for this video 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@user-kz3gk1tp7z]

Indeed. Loneliness is the price you have to pay to find your own inner peace. Thank you for the video

[@sammyq2263]

A agreed!

[@maximemichiels]

A nice

[@Freespeech78]

I like being alone..but at the same time have never felt accepted by any group

[@Simon-pl2zi]

Free Speech you are officially accepted into my group

[@leahcimolrac1477]

Si mon The Illuminati?

[@offgrid6369]

That feeling will go away in time,it's why people go to bars and sit in the same spot for hours and waist there money.I isolated myself from from society years ago and I'm pretty happy with one dog and some cats.Simplicity!

[@yukkay7861]

Yup. I have been very independent since pre school age, but at the same time burdened by a vague sting of isolation. Nothing has changed in 30 yrs. Anyways, this is a great video!

[@michaelkarr3457]

I would never belong to any group that would have me as a member.

[@RaceBannonChannel]

This is one of the best things I've watched on KZbin in a while. Rather brilliant.

[@Paulo.1984]

Fantastic! And thanks for keeping me company. Even sadder than never finding your soulmate is to lose one....and ever since, it's me, myself and the cats...

[@manuelcalavera7272]

No matter how much you get to know someone, no matter how much you share your life, learn about them, feel as though you are almost the same person, there will always be an infinite gulf between who you think they are, and who they really are. You cannot know someone else. You can only know your perception of them. Your experience of that person flows through the filter of your personality, your experience and memories, your biases and intuitions. You don't know them, you know your conception of them. Subjectivity of experience makes truly knowing another person completely impossible. We are all perfectly isolated souls, completely separate from everyone else, desperately reaching out to convince ourselves we aren't really alone.

[@blaisekwambokah135]

i wish i was able to express myself this fluently...

[@Phantom-ez4zv]

Actually you can know them, if you are able to dissolve your ego and fully attend and feel their space and energy, in a sense when you do that you are connecting to the greater whole of the universe, and the person infront of you talking is actually a part of you. It takes a certain kind of channeled spiritual energy to do that tho, you have to be juiced up with universal divine energy to be able to feel the other person pain, and when it happen its beautiful, you can shed a tear and actually pinpoint and feel their memories, because it actually did happen one time in history, and the history of all mankind is a part of you and me. But again to be able to do that, you really need to be juiced up with a very thick divine energy, or else your ego will take over and filters it.

[@evahdarth4406]

This needs a book... I'd completely be your biggest fan!

[@misst.e.a.187]

Nope, I don't fully accept that view. It's Buddhist conceptualised claptrap. We ARE connected. Sometimes so much so that nothing needs to be said or done; a silence that speaks louder than a 1000 words; a realisation that you're in the right place at the right time, with the right person(s). It's a comfort that needs no effort because it fits. People are always attaching far too much surface value to everything and everyone, and not living their lives simply and with integrity. This is the human problem.

[@qwanathomas735]

I'm looking out of myself and everyone else is looking out of themselves.

[@Kman31ca]

Tried being an extrovert for a long time. Mostly in my younger years. Always felt different than the others I was around. That led me to believe something was wrong with me. After a lot of self examination I just realized and except that I am different. And there's nothing wrong with that. I spend a lot of time alone, but not all the time. Still have family and friends that I enjoy being around. Just I need my time alone. I love reading, and just learning about fascinating stuff. I find I'm a lot happier and content. For me acceptance is the key to living a good life. Societal expectations kind of paint introverts as "Different" to some extent. But I see some ppl who just can't be alone, and are extreme extroverts. World would be a boring place if everyone was the same. As well I have a healthy spiritual life. Alls good.

[@vitalnutrients744]

there is no such thing as lonely. i discovered that it is a PHASE that you have, before you get friend that value honesty over acceptability. want to be my friend? I make honesty == acceptability

[@aluisious]

You're not different. Every asshole says "I'm different." You're the same as very many other people, and you're not special. Just live your life, with yourself, quietly. "I'm different!" is just another ridiculous cry for attention. Just that much more effort being wasted that could be spent on just keeping yourself company without worrying about it.

[@niqi7027]

Although the title of this video seemed bleak, this is one of my favourites from The School of Life. It's reassuring and quite inspiring that to actually focus on the creative outlets that bring us personal fulfillment could lead to more shared connections and a collective understanding that we are all alone, together.

[@toufytaylorsversion8700]

I don't have friends neither a girlfriend.. but thanks jesus I have a great family especially my mother she is my bestfriend and this is the greatest blessing ever .

[@monaoconnell5650]

That blesses her. God bless you.

[@mathematicalninja2756]

@Roy R mind your language kid

[@johnsonkids3058]

Roy R that's rude and stupid!

[@johnsonkids3058]

Thank you for sharing that inspiring message. Bless you!

[@johnsonkids3058]

You're welcome!

[@alextrebek8293]

i'd rather be lonely than be imprisoned in a lousy relationship i can't get out of.

[@petroskefallinos8735]

I am alone but i am not lonely. I have my piano, my cat, my books, i can see the whole cosmos through my telescope and even without all of this i can sit with my eyes closed and meditate for hours... I am alone but not lonely.. :)

[@petroskefallinos8735]

Haha nooo! I kicked that off a year ago! But it was ending in hub :D

[@TheCyberlord09]

That's because you keep yourself distracted. with your piano, your cat and your books. Let go of them for a day. Spend the entire day by yourself with yourself and you will understand that the difference between being alone and being lonely is distraction or lack thereof

[@petroskefallinos8735]

I don't keep myself distracted, I'm not a prisoner, i like it, i am ok even when i don't have these things because i have found my centre. I wont try to make you understand because you wont, and its normal, i just washed the video one more time.. have a nice afternoon . . :)

[@bilawalhussain4534]

Petros Kefallinos 6dvv

[@jpmisterioman]

"That's because you keep yourself distracted. with your piano, your cat and your books. Let go of them for a day" You keep yourself distracted, with others. Let them go of you for a day. It's the same concept, we just adapt to our own conception.

[@jstratten5326]

When I find myself surrounded by people I am secretly wishing I was surrounded by 🐶💛🥰 dogs.

[@animelvr99]

And what if everyone else is thinking the same thing

[@greckendale]

The years of vile, disgusting, arrogant entitled flat ‘mates’ I endured.... I now live alone in blissful solitude.

[@pkamoments4798]

shane parry experiencing this now in college. I hope it gets better

[@simplyme8593]

Same here but it's not so blissful for me 😔

[@MrMakingwavesmedia]

Because its easier than coming to terms with your own shadow apparently.

[@simplyme8593]

@@MrMakingwavesmedia actually the opposite from that.

[@marjorysheba8390]

"Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding on to a sincere, ambitious view of what companionship must and could be."

[@crossing.the.cosmos84]

Marjory Sheba so beautiful

[@thenewlifeofme]

This channel has some great writers I wonder what they have lived through and seen to be so wise

[@leanhanleleanah6929]

que no pare la fie ta don't stop the pary!

[@LaceyJuk]

If you do happen to find someone on exactly the same page of the soul as you, and you lose them, you will feel even lonelier than before.

[@Babak699]

very true , it happened to me and i feel more lonely than ever

[@bcooombs]

I couldn't agree more...🥺

[@Blockheadfun]

Lacey Juk yep. I came here looking to relate to others. Here I am feeling worse than I did before. Fuckin way she goes.

[@shizzle1903]

Lacey Juk Yes. I agree. I never knew that until it happened.

[@sterix_gg]

I wish I couldn't relate to this... but I can : (

[@banerjeekaran]

Sending solidarity to all the lonely souls here.

[@Thelaststrand]

“Loneliness is simply a price we may have to pay for holding on to a sincere ambitious view of what companionship must and could be” perhaps my life summed up in this quote from the video it is very comforting hearing this for the first time. My struggles just being said by another person has done so much for me Thank you ❤️

[@thehardercandy]

I don't think loneliness is the soul source of art. For example dance is art and it doesn't have to be created alone or in loneliness. It can be a collaboration of many people. Plus, some people's minds are more on the logical side and some are more of the creative side. We need both to balance us as a whole.

[@kvega30]

Guy Guest I used to break dance. Although i did learn a lot from the people around me, it seemed as though i was just copying and pasting. It wasn't until i practiced alone, with music that "triggered" an emotion from my past, that i was able to come up with new and explosive growth. Just my two cents doe (:

[@MrSmackdab]

'soul' source is a great double entendre

[@davitm7281]

i think you missed the point, try romantizm, youl see that lonliness is indeed source of an art.

[@davitm7281]

+Seeker i meant genre in art, called romanticizm , not romantic person.

[@iulian.m.]

the idea that school of life tried to express in my opinion is that art can express many feelings including loneliness happiness....and our complex feelings

[@Elizabetta86]

I can relate to every single word! "You better starve, than eat whatever. And better be alone, than with whoever.” ― Omar Khayyám, Rubaiyat.

[@33Donner77]

As an older adult, I am alone but not lonely. I live in solitude. I attend events, make small talk with the neighbors, and occasionally phone friends and family across the country. I once had an alcoholic squatter living next door (family was evicted, alcoholic brother moved in and later moved into a storage locker). He had over 600 friends on Facebook. He had so many friends!

[@HamadAlammari]

That means all people and media who scared us to death about loneliness are actually shallow, they prevented us from the chance of self development and being better/deep/creative people. We are all victims of the stupid media and shallow society.

[@MissStupidMuffin]

Well said

[@TrollAxeThrower]

Yes, everyone is stupid except you.

[@xetaxetaxeta]

"We are born alone, we die alone so why can't we live alone" -Diogenes

[@IDK-qi2it]

Well if you have a twin then you're not born alone

[@stevedenny3026]

The fucking madlad

[@thomasjardine2108]

Cuz it hurts like shit

[@illuminata8097]

Just because one feels alone does not mean they're lonely. One can be surrounded by so many people and feel the loneliest ever in their life. Feeling alone or lonely has taught me to become my own best friend. It's called solitude. It's the most healing experience ever.

[@SoubhagyaSahoo]

Exactly my friend. We humanity is dealing with this and we as alone is our best friend :)

[@illuminata8097]

Soubhagya Sahoo We need to become our own best friend, cause when you love and accept yourself not only for your strengths, but for your faults and weaknesses, you’ll be able to love and accept everything & everybody around you for who they are.

[@SoubhagyaSahoo]

@@illuminata8097 tats true.. My friend where r u from?

[@illuminata8097]

Soubhagya Sahoo from the states. Where are you from?

[@SoubhagyaSahoo]

@@illuminata8097 am from India.

[@M.3451]

"no one has ever properly understood me. I have never fully understood anyone no one understands anyone else"

[@user-bs4dc9xc6e]

This made me feel more lonely.

[@leanhanleleanah6929]

no

[@svenland6892]

VP me too

[@nadp5541]

No Connect with God!

[@Simon-pl2zi]

V P you're not alone

[@zead9481]

funny how the comment above says otherwise

[@nathaliaarcher4152]

Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way. -Janet Fitch , White Oleander

[@nickssilver]

inspiring

[@liukang85]

Loneliness is not a human condition. That's utter nonsense. Look at indigenous folks or maybe even at countries that haven't been yet totally westernized.

[@nadp5541]

Thank you 🙏🏻 I

[@tanyarawat9700]

@@liukang85 " Look at indigenous folks or maybe even at countries that haven't been yet totally westernized" What do mean by that?

[@jamiewulfyr4607]

I think it means that tribal societies have more interpersonal cohesion & connectivity than industrialised societies.There aren't as many alienating cracks to fall into in a tribal society, although the ultimate existential solitudes of life & death are still unavoidable.

[@SniPeRtHieF]

Phew, feels good to get the weight off my shoulder that I am not the only one who feels lonely

[@tomaskjr6199]

Dear School of life Thank you a thousand times for this video. I have been re-watching this for the last couple of years and it always hit right home. Thank you for everything you do. Kindest regards

[@jacobjacob4139]

Sometimes I think being alone toooo much is bad, but each time I try to go out & I think of the shallow conversations that are going to ensue, I simply meditate, grab a new book & explore new worlds between the covers of my book. Contentment right there, right... there.

[@elizabethhollins5988]

Being alone is not the same as loneliness.

[@leanhanleleanah6929]

@@elizabethhollins5988 difference?

[@elizabethhollins5988]

@@leanhanleleanah6929 @Human Male Hi HM, so "lonliness" is a painful emotion. In contrast, "being alone" just means there are no other people around at present. Sometimes being alone is a relief. Lonliness is never a relief. The vid wasn't about being alone, it was about lonliness, although i do appreciate what jacobjacob said. When i contemplate going out and enduring the pain of meaningless chitchat, i just stay in and watch yt videos instead.

[@Dropthebeatonit]

Best thing about these videos asides from the videos themselves is the comment thread. I never see this kind of insightful high-brow discussion anywhere else on youtube. Feels like a parallel universe. Even when the commentators get angry, they're still intelligent. *School* Of Life getting yet another one up on us. brrrap.

[@michaelneilbayog-ang6175]

I celebrated my new year alone in my room. Read a book and slept. I find solace on the very idea that being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. You just set a certain level of self intimacy that a crowd of people or relatives can’t sustain.

[@Madmen604]

What a good animated clip.!! Excellent dialogue, I can really relate to it, thank you.

[@Najebanski]

Never thought of art being a product of loneliness, that's amazing.

[@risainternet]

dnplk That was one of the best parts for me!

[@quaxk]

that's a stupid premise, art is basic communication, even some species of bird use it to attract mates

[@NRhazelle]

dnplk Or someone who isn't lonely, and is happy with themselves, and want to share their happiness with others... yeah I thought that part was a little BS too lol

[@Charziken909]

dnplk you can make art without being lonely, what this video is saying when youre lonely youre more free to think for yourself and not worry about the pressures of what everyone else might think

[@Najebanski]

Rhazelle Of course not all art stems from loneliness, I suppose I made my comment look like a generalization. I just really like the metaphor of "message in a bottle" art.

[@JoeMoss83]

I never feel lonely. I actually feel like I miss myself after I spend enough time with people. I can only enjoy relationships if I limit how much we see eachother to once a week. Not sure if this is bad, but I tend to dissapoint friends and loved onces for not being available enough.

[@wolf-claw]

You're just introverted. That is ok.

[@Mehdz03]

Joe M I'm pretty much like you. I feel like the closer I get to people, the further the relationship gets. So I tend to stay away from people.

[@JoeMoss83]

Mehdz03 Well I can handle relationships. But after a few months I find myself battling to keep a good amount of time and space to myself.

[@pennymac16]

+Joe M I'm an introvert as well. What I have found, is that I actually start getting repulsive when I feel someone is getting too close to me, even though I would love to be able to share a more intimate relationship. I think it is a fear, deep down, of disappointing the potential partner, so I won't make that a possibility in the first place.

[@ashleyshim2078]

Joe M me too I need my privacy and don't like having someone around 24/7

[@thomtorrez7618]

I choose to be alone but I'm not lonely . I feel lonely only in a crowd .

[@isdenn7]

thats what mac miller said in one of his songs. "Yeah, well, sometimes I get lonely, not when I'm alone But it's more when I'm standin' in crowds that I'm feelin' the most on my own"

[@robertmccluskey4386]

Very thoughtful and engaging, I've enjoyed my sense of aloneness so much more since I recognized the inherent beauty of it.

[@bolivar1789]

1. " Connecting with people" is a very tricky thing really...Sometimes it is easier to feel connected to people when you are NOT around them. For example, after spending 3 hours at a dinner party you may come back home feeling totally depressed, which is of course nobody's fault. But then you may spend a day or two in silence, reading ( mainly dead people) and you may find hope again. I remember Alain saying that when we turn to art, we look for what we don't have. The same with literature of course. That's why it is the best place to look for hope. Otherwise where do you supposed to hear someone saying: " All men will be brothers" ( from "Ode to Joy" ) I hope Schiller really meant it though! And may be Beethoven composed it because he seriously believed in it? I am glad they are both peacefully dead now and don't have to see how it all went afterwards... Looking for hope, consolation or some acceptable dose of delusion, you must also listen to the most beautiful voice of Crete, Nikos Ksilouris, singing these wonderful verses by Ritsos in "Kαι να αδερφέ μου" : "... And so my brother, At last we have learnt how to discuss Quietly, peacefully, plainly. We understand each other now; Nothing more is needed. And tomorrow, I say, Things will be even simpler. We will find the words That carry the same weight In all hearts , On all lips, So that from here on We can tell things as they are". 2. The best metaphor of loneliness for me is Martin Scorsese's excellent dark comedy " After Hours"! The story of that poor guy who wants just one simple thing: " to get home". But nobody understands him! He does trust everyone he encounters, and he tells them his story but they all get him wrong! They all terribly disappoint him. But they are kind people too... They just live in different worlds. Like all of us. It reminds me of these lines by Garcia Lorca: "... and the heart feels like an island in infinity". ( el corazón se siente isla en el infinito ) The challange is to be able to laugh at ourselves, just the way we laugh at the guy in the movie! 3. If you want real, solid consolation though, Aristotle's view on "virtuous friendship" is very helpful. Here is what he says: "........Virtuous friendship, however, is described as complete and the ultimate form of love. This type of friendship happens between few people, is long lasting, and must be between people with a certain moral character. Those involved in virtuous friendships must be able to value loving over being loved and as such, their relationship will be based more around loving the other person and wanting what is good for them." Despite being a very solitary soul and having talked a lot about stillness and silence, Pico Iyer says: " I think to be human really means to be connected". Aristotle's advice sounds like the wisest way to get there, no matter how lonely we all may be.

[@paulirineomontano5074]

Lua Veli Good points outlined here.

[@bolivar1789]

Hey Paul, thank you so much for reading all this! Have a nice weekend:-)

[@intranube]

well, that was... so educational. It reminded me of alain de botton 's consolations of philosophy; what a nice contribution,I love thoughtful people like you. Please,Stay amazing.

[@bolivar1789]

Hello there! Thanks a lot for your time and for such a friendly message:-) Oh,I am so glad you mention that book by Alain, " The Consolations of Philosophy". It is really wonderful. It has helped me enormously. We must recommend it to everybody. I send you my best wishes!

[@bolivar1789]

Oh unfortunately...But thanks a lot for reading and for writing back. All the best! :-)

[@JordanShackelford]

Actually I chose honesty over acceptability and that's partly why everyone hates me.

[@kyvministries]

Yesssssss

[@vitalnutrients744]

well then, can i be your friend? i am also rejected by everyone because i chose honesty over acceptability (i was punished for self defense in school and i stood my ground) never think of loneliness as existing, it is only a stage that you have until you get friend that also value honesty over acceptability

[@tyronepalmer9804]

🤣🤣

[@BrunoOliveira-xn7yr]

@@vitalnutrients744 there are chances that this is not going to happen. This is hope, a "cancer" that perpetuates a behavior that do not have good consequences. But if it does happens, the chances are that you will change a bit to keep this important person, and it is ok if you do.

[@deepserket4390]

Can relate

[@alperensahin9232]

wow my depression has vanished instantly, i tought i had to show this to my friends but ıhmmm nevermind ;)

[@BrandonCCB]

My friends left me for diferent reasons: some got married, others moved far away, some betrayed our friendship and others we had arguments and stopped talking. I don't have any friend to hang out with at the moment if I need to.

[@alperensahin9232]

@@BrandonCCB i experienced some of them but i guess in the end all of us end up alone

[@BrandonCCB]

@@alperensahin9232 i try to make new friends. I am a very outspoken person, experienced and articulated. I do have many connections who live far away, but I miss people who are close to hang out with. I feel as if social media is killing real life relationships somehow.

[@alperensahin9232]

@@BrandonCCB of course social media has some impacts but i dont think that is the main reason, i think life is getting harder day by day and we are alienated, moving away from our nature and ourselves.

[@DTA1313]

Sitting here in tears at how profound and beautiful this is. Thank you thank you thank you for all the fish.

[@555sarin]

We're born alone and die alone.

[@exortus359]

555sarin You can see lots ppl dont understand the logic here which i agree with you. Why detest of being alone? human is already alone from the start to the end!

[@555sarin]

It's no one fault. It's within human nature to be sociable to some extend, and certainly you have to rely on other for help and support from time to time. But beside those time you will be alone again. Wife, kids, parents they will all gone, not nessecary die, one day eventually. To accept fate of loneliness one must accept that nothing will last and all these man-made relationship can easily be destroy like paper. "Die surrounded by family? Nah, only you that die and you will go alone, other are just there to comfort you." Of course, in daily life even I don't think like this, it just bigger picture.

[@dartagnan553]

no, not everyone is born alone.some are born with brothers or sisters.not everyone dies alone.some dies of a heart attack in the middle of a party.

[@ronaldmiller156]

How can you disprove or dispute that? Is it disputable/disprovable/falsifiable?

[@intheotherworld.8713]

555sarin I was conceived, developed and born alongside my fraternal twin brother, lol.

[@gregorcollins]

Reminds me of the Hemingway quote: "Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." Thank you for this one. Speaks to me and I'm sure many very deeply.

[@CatwomanGoddess]

Gregor Collins I feel like this video is just me!

[@veggiebrain1742]

Intelligent people would know that they can control their emotions. Why wouldn't they choose happiness even with all they know of the world? It's simple.

[@patron7526]

Veggie Brain you cant choose happiness, happiness is a feeling, you cant force a feeling

[@KnjazNazrath]

Got bored of forcing myself to be friendly as a teen after growing bored of one night stands and having too many acquaintences instead of actual friends, and I jumped out of the relationship rat race. Met a girl on a whim five years after being volcel. Been together for a decade now. Good times, worth the wait.

[@moozinho8667]

This is undoubtedly, the greatest video I’ve ever seen.

[@blakesilvermark1]

my loneliness comes from lack of romantic relationships ... if you can guess I've had crushes but it doesn't lead to anything.

[@davidpearlactorteacherbizman]

me too

[@JD..........]

I think they raised the microphone volume level! Thank goodness!!

[@TiberiusStorm]

About time they did!

[@sharasahara]

yessss :P

[@user-nf3hh8kn5r]

RIGHT 😂😂

[@gaelvain]

I thought I was alone 😁😁

[@lavishjules1886]

I thought it was because I changed headphones haha.

[@davidblack5527]

This is without a doubt my favorite video from the school of life ☺️!

[@justahumanbeing18]

Thank you!I absolutely agree with you.I’m happy I found a bit of positivity in the video about loneliness,that couldn’t see in other ones:)

[@risainternet]

People can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. And to top it off, lots of people refuse to look inside themselves and figure out who they really are. I'm glad I married my best friend. I may still feel lonely sometimes, but at least we have each other, for now. And thank goodness for loneliness! The bit about art alone makes it worth it...I can't even imagine a world without art. But omg, the last bit, about being lonely rather than having false community...that I totally get. I thought I had found my tribe, until I realized when we spent time together they were more interested in their phones and Facebook than me. I'd rather feel lonely alone than be surrounded by people and feel lonely.

[@kevintrotter5094]

Wow..iv'e felt this way all my life. This guy nailed it. I've always felt more comfortable as an outsider and misfit

[@silviamonz2062]

I haven't but I think I'll start now!