Why Women Decided to Call Off Their Engagement | TikTok Compilation

[@EverydayGworl]

Just because he’s a good guy doesn’t mean he was/is the guy for you 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@gianninal5455]

Yep, exactly why I'm currently pursuing divorce. He's a good person and he's good to me but not necessarily good for me.

[@beautyandbrains1695]

I never thought about it that way.

[@EverydayGworl]

@@beautyandbrains1695 me either… until I experienced it first hand

[@Faithandseekerofchrist]

I went on a date with a nice guy and everything looked good on paper but I was just not attracted to him and they were just some parts of his personality that showed some concerns for me where he didn't have a backbone and couldn't make decisions on his own on where he wants to go and the thought of kissing him grossed me out. I feel like if I would have dated him and even married him, I felt like I would have to constantly tell him things about himself that he should already know and teach him how to be a man. Me and him didn't want to sit in the arcade restaurant because we weren't hungry but he said he didn't want to make the waitress job harder because we wanted drinks and even though that was sweet, we wasted all that money on food we didn't even want which was mediocre at best and overpriced when we could have went to the food court at the mall because it is attached to the mall.... it tasted way better and it was cheaper and we could just go there for drinks. The waitress was being extremely disrespectful towards me and he just let her talk to me the way she was talking to me and he never mentioned it afterwards. At that point I knew it was a done deal and I just wanted to go home because that was a complete turn off.... we almost went on a third date but I told them that I just couldn't go through with it and he respected it. The other nice guy was my friend since High School and we lost contact because I went to different schools and then he found me on Facebook. It was genuinely happy because I wanted to be friends but then he confessed and I turned him down and that should have been the end of our friendship but stupid me decided to give him a second chance as friends and he agreed. A year later he convinced me that it would be a good idea for us to date and another mistake that I made was hanging out with him alone which probably gave him mixed signals even though I wasn't really still into him and I didn't want to date because I wanted to be single. I said he is a nice guy and that there will be no one else because I'm done with dating apps and I don't want to be 30 years old and still single even though I know it is what I needed due to many reasons. I gave him a chance and then either later on that night or the next day he told me that he loved me and that was scary and I couldn't say it back because I didn't love him. Then he started acting weird by getting mad if I didn't answer him right away and asking me uncomfortable questions and making remarks that made me feel uncomfortable by making it seem like I was a prize that he won. Then I got sick and injured where I had to go on medical leave and then he was asking me to go an hour away to go see him where he lives on a uber when I couldn't even take care of myself and he knew this but he said he wanted for us to spend Christmas together with his family and I would have to explain to him that I'm not in any physical shape to do that when my mom is my caregiver! He didn't really care and it went out one ear and out the other and I was just tired of explaining to him about what was going on and him not getting it. There were also times when he was texting me and it seemed like he was love bombing me and telling me things I wanted to hear but except this time I realized what he was doing and I should have saw it before it even went this far but I thought since I went to high school with him that I could trust him and the truth of the matter is is that trust is earned but it can also be taken! I had enough of it after two to three weeks later I broke it off with him completely and there is no way I'm going to be friends with him again! Of course he tried to contact me many times and it got to the point where I had to block him. The point is that there is a nice guy being nice because he truly wants to be nice but then he lacks that healthy masculinity and then there is a guy pretending to be a nice guy where once he gets what he wants then his mask ends up falling off and you truly see that it was all a motive and nothing about it was genuine even if it meant waiting years to get what he wanted! Today I am single because I am still in no condition to date emotionally and mentally. I was able to go back to work for the first time in 3 months and I realized that there's a difference between a nice guy and a respectable guy and I want a respectable guy with masculinity! But before I get that I have to work on myself and even if it means being single for the rest of my life, I'd rather be single than to be in a relationship where I am constantly unhappy, having intimacy issues because I'm not attracted to him and children having to witness constantly on how unhappy we are because I was that kid one! I'd rather be single than to go through a divorce because I hold marriage with the highest degree but if I'm constantly being disrespected, cheated on and abused then I am going to leave! That is why if I can closely see the signs that I'm not attracted to someone and that they are a nice guy with no spine or a self-proclaimed nice guy who is only nice to you until he gets what he wants then I am going to leave it very fast! I'm not going to be in a relationship with him and I would rather leave now than leave later. If the puzzle doesn't fit then it doesn't fit and trying to force it to fit will end up making you feel even worse just like it made me feel!

[@gorlunion]

@@gianninal5455my current situation with my boyfriend .. but I’m convinced or maybe he convinced me that nobody else is going to care for me truly. They’re only going to want sex or a trophy

[@saffylllama5609]

Never settle ladies, you will be blamed for not choosing better when it fails.

[@PowerJade]

Mic drop....🎤

[@sg5720]

The red flags are so loud in the dating stages and even after engagement stage. Some men are genuine and a lot are not. Women MUST choose the best of the bunch and that means rejecting ALOT of men. Just cause the men are there does not mean they are good quality men to marry and have children. Men are who they are. Women have been shown this time and time again . He is either going to be great or not. Potential in a man is death to women especially when you do not see him working to be a better person. Ladies a man will change when he wants to NOT because you want him to. Ladies NEVER settle. Better to be alone and happy than with a man and miserable. 😊

[@pookiesis1465]

Preach!

[@kaydubya6347]

The gag iis--when the ex was STILL better than that weirdo stranger who is telling you to choose better 😂

[@daniellenelson5300]

Exactly but you also risk being homicide if you reject. If men end up with a crap woman it's not their fault we blame the right person who is to blame

[@racqueldillon3560]

Normalize putting yourselves first, ladies. And doing what you want for you. Men do this all the time and don’t get the same judgement. It’s ok to be a whole human who is unmarried.

[@sg5720]

We need to normalize even thinking about ourselves first cause so many of us don’t and that is by nature design. We are not meant to forget about ourselves but our natural gifts been used against us and they know this. They put themselves first, we can also include ourselves in benefits to as women. Remember ladies, we are fine being alone and in communities with other women. We don’t need to be tied down to a man. Whether we want to believe it or not, men need women more than women need men, and they know this as well. 😌

[@tfkdandsvkc]

​​@@sg5720 women have been indoctrinated its not by nature

[@sarahrobertson634]

​@@sg5720They definitely need us more.

[@TianaThompson90s]

Thank you ❤

[@AWholeVibe96]

YES!! Women gotta stop thinking they aren’t a FULL HUMAN unless they’re tied down to a romantic partner smh

[@ameliaah]

If you really want to see who someone is, tell them “No”.

[@lizcollinson2692]

I understand your point, but don't play games. If you are going to do that do it on something less emotional. If their a good person and accepts your answer, you won't be able to pull it back without showing yourself as a game player who doesn't deserve them.

[@ameliaah]

@@lizcollinson2692 there are no games. I’m talking about genuine situations when a “no” is for real. If someone ask for money and you say “no” how they response will show you who they are. If someone ask you on a date and you say “no” How they respond will show you how they really are. One of the girls said she turned down a proposal because she genuinely did not feel right about it. Her “no” showed her who he really was through his response and confirmed how she felt. Hope that clarifies what I meant. 💕

[@tahjjj1488]

This👏🏾!

[@Shay4YourMind81]

Absolutely 💯

[@Tokyo_Drift-k3u]

Girl . True. You see their true colors.

[@EmyN]

Guy refuting the lady saying she didn’t feel connected to her fiancé shows how men are so single minded, have no idea what women want, and frankly why so many of them have little to offer. This isn’t a job interview where you tick boxes, this is a relationship, literally the whole point is to have a connection lol!

[@AniWho268]

Exactly.

[@EmyN]

@@AniWho268 It’s like when they go “but I was so nice to her why didn’t we get together 🥺” it’s not what you do or are, it’s how the relationship is like. They think we are characters in a game that if they say the right things or if they have certain characteristics we will get with them

[@AniWho268]

@@EmyN It just goes to show that they act nice because they want something in return, not because they're genuinely nice people. That's why so many men switch up when they get what they want. If she rejects him, then they blame women for why they're not a "nice guy" anymore. So delusional and illogical.

[@EmyN]

@@AniWho268 That too, oh these dusties… lol

[@namjesus3789]

So true. Men just dont understand

[@1Skorpia]

You can be married and alone. Marriage and children no longer has any status in todays society. Too many people want neither.

[@Iwantallmymoney2024]

This! When any of my friends get engaged, I get scared for them. 😂😂😂😂. I don't know why any women will sign up for that nowadays unless the man is rich. If not is a NO for me

[@galaxyqueen8835]

Rich but also smart with money too

[@timeless6464]

If the man is rich, he can be incredibly abusive and controlling. That's not good either, unless he has true empathy. @@Iwantallmymoney2024

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

​@@Iwantallmymoney2024 I agree. We have to watch our backs with rich men too, plenty of them are neurotic weirdos.

[@lizcollinson2692]

Marriage and kids shouldn't be undertaken for status.

[@StonedHunter]

Not having a genuine connection is perfectly valid. If you aren't attracted to someone you just aren't attracted to them. Relationships are not a damn checklist, that guy calling her stupid for breaking the engagement pisses me right off. The entitlement of thinking that actually loving your partner isn't important.

[@monejohn9973]

Plus he may have confused what D her Man was missing 😅 Me and a few female friends have broken up with guys because they were horrible in the bedroom.And we tried to work it, but some people are untraineable.😅

[@nnolaa]

He thinks that way because men don't love women, they check boxes and that's it.

[@Vee_Davis-wb9wd]

IKR...i never will get behind just wanting to be with someone cause everyone expects u to...if u dont like ur partner or are attracted to them then at that pt thats ur PLATONIC FRIEND lol

[@yltraviole]

If you're going to make a commitment to being with a person for an *entire lifetime* you better have a genuine connection. 100% valid reason to break things off.

[@timeless6464]

I cannot stand that guy. She is within her right to choose and to tell her story.

[@annt7384]

If you don’t have emotional intimacy - which is something to build btw, it doesn’t sustain itself - then you don’t have a relationship. It’s not negotiable. Everybody needs it.

[@moominmay]

💯 I just broke off my 2 year relationship because even though we had fun, the emotional intimacy just wasn’t growing. He couldn’t handle conversations whatsoever of a personal nature and didn’t engage when I tried to open up and bond with him. He was fantastic to be a superficial boyfriend but it eventually got me mentally down that if he was supposed to love me which he said first then why dies he show utter disinterest in such things. He showed no interest in really getting to know me and me him that eventually I fell out of love with him. Lust and looks just aren’t sustainable not by me as a woman anyway. It was gut wrenching decision but deep down the right one I know 😢

[@annt7384]

@@moominmay wow, so sorry to hear that. I mean obviously people have different styles of communicating, but if someone is actively keeping you at a distance, then your relationship is doomed. I get this feeling with some guys that they’re not interested in forming a deeper connection because of fears that will limit their freedom, but in reality it limits their prospects, because they have no experience establishing and sustaining a healthy emotional bond.

[@briana14333]

💯💯💯

[@twobitsandpepper8235]

Or just replace it with friends, books, spirituality, stupid play store games...etc. lol. If he doesn't want to engage in any deep conversations, then there's really no need to have them. Just work on you and find ways to stay busy without him.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

I love that women aren’t settling

[@ZKZKZK818]

No one should settle. Men and women. Lots of women ive dated that were good to me, but not good for me as well. 100% agree.

[@user-wk4uq5bi4n]

"He's a good man Savannah" Then you marry him!

[@Daughter.of.TMH.YAH23]

😂😂😂

[@monejohn9973]

😅I thot she said then you F him 😅

[@lizcollinson2692]

Not if she can't commit for life.

[@hmmmbrilee]

$15,000 for a DEPOSIT on a venue. Nah, weddings are not worth the money they cost. Ain't no way I can justify more than $15k on a single day, whether it's my money or someone else's. The wedding industry is insane.

[@aaunyea4799]

All that money can go to much better, long lasting things. Or even just savings for a rainy day

[@hmmmbrilee]

And that's just a portion of the venue cost. And assuming it's not some all inclusive venue, that won't include a lot of other additional costs. Not the catering, the cake, the photography/videography, the DJ/band, the flowers and other decor, the dance lessons, the dress and the attire of everyone else participating, the limo, gifts for the bride and groom parties, or any other expense made up for the occasion. It's a hard pass for me. 😖

[@candygirl1990]

Waste of money end of.

[@timeless6464]

Exactly. Get that money and put more on top and get yourself a house!

[@CyberSecurityFashionDesigner]

Wedding planner here, yes it is a business but also people want to gather everyone in a room to celebrate love! You don’t have to spend though. People just love to show off 🤭

[@innocentnemesis3519]

I’m hearing a lottttt of these women gaslighting themselves that their gut instinct wasn’t screaming at them not to go through with it. Been there. ALWAYS trust your intuition, people!

[@twobitsandpepper8235]

I'm at that point, my man has been wonderful for the most part but since I stopped working, and broke my arm, I've seen a whole other side of him. Am now after only a few months planning on going back to work cuz he can't handle it on his own, even making $300 more a week than I was and was paying the bills alone for years. He has no ambition or goals or plans for the future and is terrible at budgeting, just wants expensive toys and expensive payments. I can't do this again. I think I may be destined to just be single forever because every man I date seems to be this way. Like no one wants to be debt free and retire and own a home? Or anything? No instead I'll get a brand new truck, classic car, motorcycle, a boat, new game system every time there's a new one and live in my parent's house forever. Thee eff is going on? I don't want to be a sugar mama, I'd rather just be a single mama.

[@astraamarante6233]

@@twobitsandpepper8235 Good for you! Remember to have a good group of friends as a support system and to look out for red flags early on (if you still want to date). It's easy for them to slip up in conversation if you go beyond small talk.

[@Mahy4]

Ladies let’s also accept when someone decides to leave us or break off the engagement. Their rejection could be a blessing in disguise. This definitely goes both ways, if he doesn’t want to be with you, take it as a BIG sign and accept it, move on. ❤

[@yesterdayitrained]

Agree- always have. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you?

[@Rathian03]

Exactly, my best friend is like "I am a fighter, I want to fight for our marriage" after he said he doesn't have feelings for her anymore. GIRL, WHAT IS THERE TO FIGHT FOR!?

[@yesterdayitrained]

@@Rathian03 1000% - nothing is left, move on.

[@astraamarante6233]

@@Rathian03 RIGHT?? I don't understand these people gaslighting themselves into believing that what they're being presented with isn't actually what's happening. Maybe it's an obligation thing, because that can happen. Even at subconscious levels, a person can have the urge to keep going with something they don't want to simply because it feels like a waste to drop it after all the time and effort spent on it.

[@valned3776]

I called off my engagement to a man who said it would be funny if when we had a baby it ripped me to shreds. But it was 2 months before the wedding and I felt trapped. I have the best support system and was told until you sign you’re never past the point of no return. I’m still grateful to this day for that conversation. Ladies it doesn’t and won’t get better. Edit: Thanks for the kind words everyone! Life has been so much better since then, and I haven’t had a second of regret. He was one of those guys that hid his assholeness behind “I’m just joking.” 🙄 The mask started slipping more as the date got closer. I just want to clarify the “point of no return” part of my post. Nuance is hard with text. My family would never have expected me to stay with someone like that just because vows were said. The intended message was that it’s easier to cancel a venue and notify guests, than it is to legally untangle yourself from someone. Past the point of no return referred to how much more complicated things can get once you sign. Hope that helps! Love to the women on here who chose themselves 💕

[@timeless6464]

Good on you for breaking up with him. Why would he say that? That's horrible.

[@alondra2317]

My goodness, what a terrible remark that was. I’m glad you got out!!

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

What a disgusting pos. Glad you got out! 💝

[@yahainHotPink]

😮😮😮 Glad you got away. He was not a supportive man

[@uyensoldier374]

why in the world would someone say that?

[@GodWokeMeUp]

I called off an engagement with a guy... I felt pressured to say yes because he proposed in front of so many people...(Which is really not me at all) He bought a house for us to live in and everything.... But I never moved in because it felt strange. There were things that were just weird and a little off. He was not pushy about being intimate and I was OK with that... He was nice to me and good to my daughter. We were really good friends.... But it was just very platonic. After two years I thought it was odd that he never wanted to touch me. He didn't struggle at all actually, so I thought maybe I was ugly or something. He proposed as kind of a last attempt to prove he loved me I guess... But I ended the relationship. Well, he turned out to be gay. 😂 So that explained a lot... It was really sad because he told me, "I always wanted the picket fence kind of life... With a wife and child... But I am not sexually attracted to women." 😅 Looking back, I kind of feel like an idiot that I didn't see it sooner. I think I was just really lonely and the friendship of a man without the other things was really nice to have...but after 2 years I wanted more. 😂 I ended up meeting my current husband and we've been married for 5 1/2 years now, together for 8. So it's worth waiting!

[@defbaby5427]

Wow ! Good for you not just getting married for for the sake of it. What happened to the gay ex? Are yall still friends??

[@hayaq9991]

“He turned out to be gay”.. oh lord 😂 sorry

[@amaristr]

Loving a man's potential and not seeing who he is showing you was one of the things I had to stop doing.

[@nomenenimipsumloquitur]

It's so aquarius in the 7th house energy.

[@Britney-b1r]

Been there.

[@NoName-oe4gm]

I’m SOO proud Of Women for Finally Choosing Happiness! -We Are NOT OUR Grandma’s. -We Are NOT questioning OUR relationship on Luv -We Are NOT taking the bare minimum. -We Are NOT choosing A Man over OUT Peace of Mind. -We Are NO a longer fallin for society standards. And choosing self. -We Are NOT falling for the dying alone bs. Blessings Ladies 🫶🏾

[@lilycollegemythbusters5532]

These women had to face a difficult decision but bravo for facing accountability for your actions and for facing your inner deep dark truths. It is so incredibly difficult but you did it. Way to go! This is bravery!

[@trockslaw1]

During an argument (while in different cities) both of us in (graduate school) school, him around friends and we’re on the phone…he called me an idiot. ENGAGEMENT OVER. Sent the ring back USPS insured for the ring’s value.

[@xxhshrebyba]

:(

[@astraamarante6233]

Lol, I love that. Many people for some reason don't see insults as a reason to leave someone. If they call you something that is an attack on your person, even in an argument, that means they do not value yooooouuuuu! Why stay with someone that makes you feel less, that shrinks you? The last time I ever called anybody I argued with a name was my sister when I was in my lower teen years. I grew out of that bs.

[@LasBlackUnicrn]

I wish I had the strength to leave and break off our (forced) engagement. I just kept pushing forward because I felt I deserved to be his wife after 10 yrs. We got married and 2 months later I went into the worst depression of my life. It’s like one day the penny dropped and I couldn’t shake the horrible pit in my stomach. I knew marrying him was mistake. I left him and moved back home 4 months after we got married. Our divorced was finalized last yr 3 years later. I never felt so happy and free than I did on that day. Ladies don’t be like me, staying because “it’s been so long” if you are not happy LEAVE!! It’s never too late to start over 💕

[@christinejaykleinhaus]

YES! Back when I left my ex, we had dated for over 7 years and everyone said "You are throwing so many years down the drain". I even thought I should stay because of how much I had sacrificed for the relationship. Now they all say walking away that day was the best decision I ever made. You are NEVER too old to start over.

[@LasBlackUnicrn]

@@christinejaykleinhaus never ever! 💕 the real waste is putting years into someone who will never change and love you properly. Glad you got out

[@MisseverythingNewNew]

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@astraamarante6233]

I hope this helps you, even a little bit. There is a thing called an obligation response where it feels like a massive waste to drop anything that has a lot of effort and time put into it. It doesn't matter what it is, you can have even a subconscious urge to continue something you don't like just because you feel like you need to keep going or you've wasted your life. Always measure the pros and cons, because while your obligation response may say that dropping it is a waste, it may just be more of a waste to continue.

[@lizcollinson2692]

Qualities do not make a relationship, a man can tick all the boxes but if you don't believe you can commit for life, don't get married. They don't have to be perfect, but they have to be right for you.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

My college roommate and her BF ticked the boxes, and they referred to themselves as the “alpha couple” which everyone thought was cringe, but anyway. Something told me that they were full of ish, and one day my roomie told me that they cheated on each other several times, didn’t trust each other, but stayed together because they thought they were soul mates. They broke-up by the end of the year because the BF was caught cheating again. Moral of the story is that looking good on paper is not reflective of reality, and if you think something is off it probably is.

[@murtleturtle4027]

I also broke things off with a wonderful man, just because they're wonderful doesn't mean they can't mess up in areas that would be considered a deal breaker for you and maybe not for someone else, and even if they don't doesn't mean they're meant specifically for you. I do not regret my choice, I have more peace and happiness.

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

He DEMANDED, as in SCREAMED down the phone that I SHOULD take his last name... Boy, bye! Ps: I'm with an incredible man now. Someone who adds value, love, kindness and joy to my life.😊💗🌸

[@monejohn9973]

I know it's not good to test people. But I seriously want to be with a man who's okay with me. If I choose not to take his last name. I just think that's a good sign of somebody who's not controlling plus most modern man want traditional wives or biblical roles yetthey aren't traditional husbands nor do they follow the Bible 😅it's just entitlement,They definitely don't have the money to give you the option to be a stay at home, wife.😅

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

@@monejohn9973 Gurrrrl, all they know of the Bible, is that one part that says something about submission, the rest, the teachings, the principles, the respect for women, they are convenintly and completely oblivious too🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. It's honestly manipulation through religion. Also, you're not testing anybody. See how we've been conditioned to do as they please, regardless of our thoughts and opinions? That's your last name. You don't have to change it if you don't want to. And you can if you choose to do so. Hope you find a good one. One that consistently shows you he loves and respects you through his ACTIONS. Don't listen to what he says. Look at what he does because men reveal their true intentions through their actions. Love and light to you.

[@Rossenfolds]

Changing your name is such a headache full of unnecessary paperwork. Good for you for leaving.

[@astraamarante6233]

@@fruitypopwhickle6806 Yeah, willfully ignorant of the parts where it says that women should be independent and own their own businesses and stuff. And honestly, when you look at it in the proper context, patriarchy wouldn't exist without sin (according to the Bible). No sin, no man in control. Patriarchy is sinful, done.

[@Headveej]

Can we normalize waiting a few months or even a few years to organize the damn wedding after getting engaged ? Like, why the rush ??

[@kellysnyclife663]

Sex probably

[@monejohn9973]

Not a few years that's f00lish af 😅 Most people have already been dating for a few years. They're not gonna wait more to actually get married. Not everybody wants kids out of wedlock.

[@mputuedson1595]

2 years according to Dr Umar Johnson. Personally I won't take a chance.

[@d.c.5033]

Having a wedding shortly after the engagement is not the issue. Engaging with the wrong man is the issue!

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

@@d.c.5033 Yes, but there are times when people are so blinded by their desire for a relationship that they need time for their rose colored glasses to fall off. A 2 year minimum engagement can help with that, and frankly is a better option than finding out x amount of years into the marriage that the person you married isn’t the person you thought they were. In one option you can easily walk away. The other requires divorce, and we all know how messy and expensive that can be. The dating stage only tells you surface level stuff. It’s the engagement stage that starts to reveal the deeper truth, and if you pay attention you can save yourself from a bad marriage.

[@Hale8R]

6:18 “lady he is not WiFi, you are not iPhone. Why are you looking for invisible connection” 😂😂😂

[@greenytaddict]

😆

[@StonedHunter]

It's funny until you realize the entitlement and delusion for men to believe that a deep connection is not a requirement for a successful relationship.

[@hadijakalyegira4107]

😂😂😂😂

[@AniWho268]

@@StonedHunter I didn't think it was funny at all. Men lack understanding in a lot of things, and this is one of them.

[@soupafleye]

@@AniWho268they’re emotionally unintelligent. lack compassion. it’s lame and pathetic

[@Shishu00]

I got engaged 3 times by the same guy. Why did he ask? No clue. 7.5 years of hell and I finally broke it off for good in 2023! ❤ I so hurt sometimes from being lonely and miss him but I know this is what is best and life will always get better

[@cherylmartin1078]

👏👏👏good for you, ladies. Never ever settle.

[@ellenko2684]

These videos are so uplifting for some of us women who feel the pressures of having to get married and settle down at a certain age. Be selfish and wait for the right one! when we're focused on creating the best version of ourselves, the universe will send us the type of man who can give us everything.

[@Fatima-zs3mo]

Dating has no rules. You can leave over somthing minor such as not liking his haircut or extreme if you notice he’s violent. Just be honest to yourself and them. Move on.

[@elizabethallen4353]

"feeling disconnect from myself" -- sooo well said! Yes. Broke up with a man who was pushing for an engagement. Never felt it. So glad I ended it. Happily married for 12 years to my soul mate.

[@Whistlesonthewind]

Blk Americans got everyone saying,” he’s a good man Savannah.” Lmbo

[@fatimahsaamah9859]

There's more to life than engagement and marriage! I really think these women are wonderful for following their instincts. I mean look at what happened to Princess Diana. She was a going to be a queen, but she had no connection with Charles and her life was a train wreck because of it.

[@timeless6464]

She was never going to be a queen. British royalty doesn't work like that. She would've been the Princess married to the Sovereign. She would've never had the power of a sovereign.

[@martymcfly5764]

​@@timeless6464she didn't strike me as the type to even care about any of that. She was an extremely unique individual who was incredibly kind, sensitive and sweet, which is why she never fit in with them. All she ever wanted was some love and attention from her husband and she never got it, which is ultimately what destroyed her. Being queen wouldn't have saved her from her predicament.

[@archervine8064]

@@timeless6464 bit of a correction, You’re right that Diana would never have been a Queen Regnant (the sovereign), but she would have been Queen Consort, not a princess.

[@haute03]

I very much appreciate these women sharing their stories. The last one made me tear up a little. I really needed that word.

[@MissJ619]

Sometimes LOVE just isnt enough. Its not, and we shouldn't be guilted into do anything, bc someone is "nice" or a "good man".

[@porscheh7120]

I broke my engagement off 8 yrs ago! Best decision EVER! Towards the end he became, cold, distant and disrespectful. I didn’t wanna live my life like that! I chose me! 🫶🏾

[@moominmay]

Same my boyfriend wanted me to sell my house and move in together whilst accusing me of cheating and whatnot and sending passive aggressive texts. I was scared to be alone but did the right thing I think by calling it off

[@maggief1851]

❤

[@MB-xv7er]

I mean yeah, if someone breaks off an engagement naturally the other party will be cold distant and disrespectful because their time was wasted intentionally

[@porscheh7120]

@@MB-xv7er those were the reasons as to why I broke it off! Idk how he was afterwards because he got blocked 🤭 And he wasted my time if anything! This was yrs ago and he’s still single and somewhere looking stupid like a lot of these men! 🤣 He tried reaching out last yr via email…and I blocked him from that! 😎

[@madkrakatoa]

As soon as he put the ring in my finger it felt wrong. He didn't want to get engaged because of who we were with each other. He wanted an engagement because by calendar we had been together for 365 days. He had this dating schedule inhis head. 2 weeks dating 3 weeks sex 4 weeks family introduction 6 months holidays together 1st year engagement 2nd year wedding 3rd year baby. I agree with the point of watching them react under stress. Bf used to get canned aggressive,like... fist in a ball or hit a wall ( look more like a kid with a tantrum) Never with me... till I broke of and he grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me...we were in public and no one stepped in. Walking away was the best decision ever

[@maam-yj8ph]

Wow. Dodged a wrecking ball.

[@Faithandseekerofchrist]

Yep I love them are nice guys until they get what they want. If they act fast and they love bomb you right off the bat then usually that not a good sign.... the last nice guy which happened to be my high school friend who I finally accepted to date him after the second time he confessed and then he started love bombing me and telling me he loves me and then when I got injured, I couldn't take care of myself and even had to go on medical leave at work and he still wanted me to take an Uber an hour away to go visit him and spend Christmas together with his family even though I told them what was going on and he just didn't get it so I got fed up and I ghosted him like Casper the ghost. Good thing we only lasted about 2 to 3 weeks until I ghosted him and blocked his number. I wish I was able to tell him but he just turned into a complete person that I just didn't recognize and I figured that it's better to say nothing at all than to say something and have it be against me! I don't want to be with someone that doesn't have any empathy for me and treats me like a prize that he won instead of as a person and then say stuff that he thinks you want to hear but you really don't. I didn't even want to kiss him but I felt like I was obligated to be with him because I didn't want to be a 30 year old and still not married But ultimately I was going through a sickness and injury and he was making my anxiety worse which didn't help my situation. Someone I went to elementary school with dated him and by the time they were done she was so over him and I should have seen that as a red flag. I was under the impression that he still liked her because he talked about her a lot but then he turned his attention on me....

[@DandyXandy36]

I’m so glad that young women are waking up 😊

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

First lady: Absolutely, we always know. Dating in the 20s is the pits... I literally told my first boyfriend, in my 20s, whom i called out for bad behavior, and who was promising to "change", that "nobody changes for another person, you must be self aware enough to want to change for yourself." Next boyfriend too... They both had missing mothers in their lives from an early age and wanted their mothers badly still. I appreciate these stories as they remind us you don't need to follow through with such life changing decisions if you're having to second guess yourself.

[@savageornah7696]

I feel the girl with traveling and see a new side of the person like he can’t handle stress or can’t guide and as a woman you feel unsafe and stressed but he is really amazing but this points are super important

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

As I always say. You have to go through the trenches with someone to see how they really are. Meaning that’s when you really see what someone’s deal breakers are, or how red their red flags are.

[@nenavice9903]

after 3 years together, less than half a year engaged, i told him to leave my house after he caught a hissy fit over a simple request 😂 it was a week before my birthday too! best gift to myself tbh, i waited too long and he proposed on new years eve after i told him to never do it on a holiday. i overlooked a lot of things but will never make that mistake again. go back to your mom! 😂

[@nenavice9903]

this was last year and the hissy fit included calling me out of my name multiple times, yelling, and nearly threatening to fight me 🙃

[@greenytaddict]

Girl you had a zesty one, glad you dropped him.

[@jemeljordan-butler4510]

Reading the comments sections of men’s channels and reading the comments sections of women’s channels has brought me to the conclusion that: They are both just echo chambers. LoL

[@adoseofcourage]

The first and last 22:04 one really hit home. Thank you so much for compiling, posting, and encouraging us with these ❤

[@christinejaykleinhaus]

Dated a guy for over 7 years. we got engaged in October 2011, but everytime I wanted to start planning the wedding he would flip out! He was super toxic and narcissistic, extremely possessive and mean to me every day - I said to him we had to talk because things cannot go on like this he said "there is the door. If you don't like how things are done you can leave." So I did. I left in March 2012 and he was apparently "devastated". Begged me to stay. Turns out, he was cheating on me with a girl in his office. He moved in with her less than a month later. Looking back I can see that he was never planning on marrying me. what a waste of my time. Anyway. Still single today and I have never been happier. Never again will I give all of me to someone who will just trample on me like I am some commodity to be used and abused as they see fit. Never again will someone use me as a doormat. Never again will I serve someone the way I served that man. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I am glad I didn't go back. I really wanted to in the beginning, not knowing any better. Glad I pushed through.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

This reminds me of a story where a lady found her finance cheating in their garage with his co-worker. He moved in with the co-worker right after the lady said she wanted a divorce. I don’t understand why men propose if they have someone on the side.

[@samanthaorologio6866]

Ummmm hello?!?!?! I fucking love this kind of content! I don't tiktok so i dont get to see the crazy shit people post there so this is awesome. And i just looked at the channel, there's TONS OF CONTENT! thank youuuu!

[@fe7260]

I am a Conservative Charismatic Christian. And I grew up as a Conservative Charismatic Christian. When I was younger I received numerous serious offers of 'courtship' from young men in the church communities I was part of, all of whom appeared to be lovely. I declined every one. Fast forward 10 -15 years, I am 41, never married and have no children and regret ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! 😊😊😊 I have seen all of these young men age, many marry and become fathers. I am grateful I did not marry and try to make a life with any of them. Time has proven that some of them were truly lovely, but they eventually found their true wives. Others, as they have aged, have demonstrated we did not after all share the same values.

[@trafficcontrol2420]

What's a charismatic christian?

[@MagnoliaPantherWoman]

What the last woman said, so true. I broke it off with my ex and now my life is 180° different and better. The change he brought to my life was an inch compared to getting the missing half of my life back. Plus he was a total arse after our 1 yr anniversary and never returned to being who he supposedly was. When I ended the relationship, my mind was finally quiet and peaceful again. So yes, what these women said, plus how it's going after the 1 year mark.

[@PrincessHVHHDSSS]

Single life is precious. 🎉 Don't need drama.🕊🌿🌳🌲🌱 Choose wisely. 🕊🌿🌳🌲🌴🍃 I highly recommend SINGLE life! 🕊🌿🌳🌲🍀🌱🌴🍃 😂😅😆 🕊🌿🌳🌲🍀🌱🌴🍃 🕊🌿🌳🌲🍀🌱🌴🍃

[@maggief1851]

I love single life, just waiting for menopause because ovulation make me want to get married tomorrow😂

[@erinfreeman28]

Wow this showed up in my feed in perfect timing. I'm happily married, never had a broken engagement or anything. Just fascinated by the concept and by people and their life stories in general. Recently I was wondering what leads people down the path of chosing to get engaged, and then to break it off. Interesting video!

[@bee-dz5wl]

I've come to the point where I'm ok if I stay single the rest of my life, if I don't find the right man. Ideally I would like to have a family of my own, but I don't want to raise children in a toxic environment. Raising children in healthy environments is way more important than me having kids just to have kids. I haven't came across a man yet that shares the same values I do and I won't settle. I'd rather take my time and focus on myself. Anything forced just ends up collapsing.

[@Balgees24]

I have to agree with last one. I been dumped and cheated on, after years I needed to found me and happy with that. All red flags was there but I wasn't listening to God 😂

[@citizenearth71]

A man who failed basic Math coined the term "the better half". Man-Math: 1+1 = 1 Real Math: 1+1 = 2

[@gle..]

I think you're confused... 1/2+1/2=1 A wife is 1/2 of the union which is why people jokingly introduce them as the better half.

[@citizenearth71]

@@gle.. Marriage shouldn't reduce a person to a fraction of their complete self. That is like a slow, cruel death. Marriage should celebrate two complete people and give them each space to just breathe and grow as individuals. I have that with my husband. I am definitely a better person today because of this than when we first met. He allowed me my own space to grow as a person. And in return, I gave him his. He is perfect as he is - flaws and all - as am I. 1+1 =2

[@VeeKayGreenerGrass]

It's 100+100 = 200 on good days. 80+120 on other days . 150+50 on others. 10+90...

[@mariee3658]

Society makes it seem like we arent real women or we’ll be miserable if we aren’t married or have kids so this is refreshing that women don’t put men on a pedestal anymore. It doesn’t make us less than m, everything is a choice and we get to choose our happiness even if it’s just with ourselves

[@DianaPrinceitiswhatitis]

Not settling, paying attention to any red flags and choose what’s best for you. It will save you from heartache and drama. Don’t get married until you are ready. It’s okay not to be married as well.❤

[@Aster_Risk]

I broke off my first engagement with someone who isn't a bad person. He just wasn't emotionally ready to be married and had a lot of stuff from his childhood he probably needed to work through. We were together from ages 16-20. I'd been done with the relationship for almost a year, but I was too scared to admit it. There was a final incident that caused me to break it off that I won't go into. I ended up getting together with my now husband who was a friend of mine. We've been married for 12 years in July and every year is better than the last. I'm grateful that I didn't stay with someone out of guilt or obligation, because I think that would have also been unkind to my ex.

[@Helloo_oo]

I love the women in this video,, bcuz imagine all you have to show for your life, is an average man, with average children still asking for bare minimums!! 🤷‍♂️ women who don't settle ALWAYS GET BETTER!! And ofcos pple will always trying to hate on that.

[@coolbreeze5683]

Don't be with someone who says they want marriage, kids, a house, etc. right off the bat. They're just looking for a person to be the "fill in the blank" to fulfill those goals for themselves. Be with someone who wants to be with you no matter what. Even if that means you not wanting kids or marriage. Just like the 1st woman said, her husband loves and supports her no matter what she wants to do.

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

There is nothing wrong with wanting marriage and kids, but it’s so so important that if someone wants those things that you also want those things, and you make sure that kids and marriage are something that you both mutually want together because there are men and women who pursue people who want these things, but the other person doesn’t know that they despite having mutual goals they are a place holder. I’ve heard stories from women who went to marriage counseling say that although they wanted marriage and kids, they found out that they were actually a means for their husband to get those things. Their husband just saw them as a place holder, and only pursed them because it was easier to get them on the same page instead of trying to force women who didn’t want these things to want them. Isn’t that wild.

[@gle..]

As a married person, you aren't always going to feel 100% in love all the time. You shouldn't necessarily call something off just because something feels off. The stress of planning a wedding can mess with your emotions as well And just because a man gives you everything you want and does everything you say doesn't mean he's a quality man. Some guys are doormats and don't know how to assert their own feelings and desires.

[@characterchange6793]

I have learned to realize that everyone is just not meant to be together. That's ok.

[@patooter5559]

I’m gonna say it. Trust your gut! Even if he seems perfect, there’s a reason why your gut/intuition is saying no. Your intuition is there to keep you safe. Also guys will leave the perfect woman just bc they didn’t feel anything. They don’t get the same amount of heat women get for the same choice or actions. Don’t feel bad.

[@arusu1806]

Literally babied my ex. I’m so glad it’s over.

[@SableAiolos]

The 6th lady talking about how her ex acted after she repeatedly put off marrying him for 2 years, he finally offers to elope with her and she reveals she isn't going to marry him shocking everyone who knows them... "How he acted afterwards really solidified it for me, I don't wanna be with someone who would talk to me or treat me that way." Like you literally manipulated him, you even claim you were using covid as a crutch, no you were using your relationship as a crutch. Very unethical behavior IMO.

[@yahainHotPink]

So happy for the last 2 ladies. We can be happy single.

[@mariancounsellor]

Respect to these ladies. It's definitely brave to break off an engagement but you don't have to settle for someone who's not the right person for you or you're not compatible with. When you let someone go, you're helping yourself and helping them to find the right person for both of you

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

The woman in the second video doesn't seem to realize that her guy was not a good person. She kept talking about having to keep forgiving him. What good person makes you have to keep having to forgive them over and over, assuming we're not talking about simple, harmless mistakes (like dropping something on the floor) over the course of years?

[@RepentImmediately]

Anybody who's putting $15K down as a venue deposit isn't thinking clearly to begin with.

[@yahainHotPink]

1st lady is lovely and love her story. 💖

[@harlempixie338]

Demonic energy was definitely coming off the man in the black shirt. 🤨

[@bluelrdwscent7340]

I can relate to this l married young to a older man thinking he had 🤬 together he played the part . I found out he had 12 kids after l married him he told me he only had one ( red flag). He cheated a year into marriage didn't find that out until l was ready to leave how he told me because l was leaving him. Happy to report l am no longer with that person. He is locked up for being a pedo yep for messing with someone child and not a high school child no a elementary child. He's in jail now am so happy that he can't do this to another person or child.

[@telise8730]

You guys are all nuts. As someone whose been with my husband for 12 years, there is no such thing as a relationship without compromise and hardships. There is no such thing as being happy all the time, and no perfect guy out there for you. Im not saying you shouldnt prioritize yourself or end things if its really not right, but a successful marriage is not just something that happens...its a learning process and something you have to work at. Dont settle for less than you deserve, but dont fool yourself into giving up something great because its not perfect out of this idea that there's this perfect match out there for you.

[@Faithandseekerofchrist]

It's good that they broke off the engagement because it's better not to be stuck in a marriage with someone that you do not want to be with and it ends up hurting the both of you even though it should have been broken off before it got to him proposing. But then again I know that some people a character until they are getting what they want and then take the mask off or they go into it thinking that they want to get married to this person but then they realized that they do not want to marry this person. But if you know from the start that you do not want to be with this person then it's better off to break off the relationship before it gets to the point of engagement.

[@d.c.5033]

You have to nip things in the bud. No one should be engaging anyone when they know the relationship has important issues unresolved or a disconnection. And you don’t have to accept the engagement if they do propose. We have to stop doing things and wasting time and money on people out of loneliness.

[@yvesarakawagames]

This is the women in healthy relationships. They try to build healthy relationships with the men in their life that don't just push away problems. VS. the "women in healthy relationships who spill the tea" who are mostly just in the honeymoon phase and who never talk about how they actually get through hardship with their partners.

[@kj1227icecap]

Damn, the first lady meant never settle for broke.

[@monicawilson8075]

You can be broke all by yourself!

[@d.c.5033]

But that was God’s will… The new man represented God’s milk 🥛 and honey 🍯 . Don’t hate, congratulate 😂

[@Neesha242]

I think if someone ever doubt being with someone then they aren’t for the person

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

It’s natural to have doubts because marrying someone is a huge commitment and can cause nerves to flair, so doubt in this context is normal. However, doubt is a serious problem when it’s constant and not due to nerves like doubting your BF’s fidelity, if he’s gaslighting you, if he cares about you, if he’s a good person, etc. You’ll get a feeling in your stomach and feel like you’re questioning reality. That’s the doubt that you have to pay extra special attention to. The other doubt is more like pre-commitment jitters, but if the doubt becomes excessive it should be examined further because your subconscious mind could be trying to tell you something.

[@CoachDeeFree]

I really enjoyed this ❤

[@mayzitta]

He ended the engagement. I returned the ring. And this happened a year ago already. He and I had a good connection, we loved each other so much. But his mother was completely dependent on him, both mentally and financially. She was already 63, had no money and no place to live but her son's tiny rental apartment. I worked so hard to deal with his mom's situation before marriage, but every time i tried to sort out our finances to see whats really going on, he would get upset and say we make good money already, and things are all going well. Which wasn't true. We both work for a very high paying, stressful job but i knew it wont be enough to take care of his mom for the rest of her life. One day we argued over it again, the same issue, and he finally cut it off. Ever since then, im crying for a year now. He was my best friend. He loved me so much until he was able to hide his financial situation. The pain and terror of being abandoned is unbearable. I feel lost. I hope i can love someone again, but im not someone that falls in love easily, and it's difficult.😢

[@Saint_Medusa]

" why are you looking for invincible connection just take his good qualities" ..... youre looking for a partner not a refrigerator ....it doesnt have to be invincible but you need to know you can grow and connect .....maybe men can just settle for a submissive good looking body but even thats a disservice to both parties

[@byleemalox2265]

Okay the 'Jesus Christ on a motorbike' gentlemen killed me.....Made my day.

[@MrJessietyson]

I’m saying this as genuinely as I can. As a man this is very discouraging

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Wym?

[@vikkidonn]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809most of this is women not knowing what they want till years have past and their partners have decided to marry them. Till death do us part, just to be told their girl just “doesnt feel right”…….. some of these things makes sense but most is really just functional emotionally unstable women who weren’t solid to begin with.

[@elliondecoteau5985]

​@@vikkidonnThis is mostly because having the threat of spending a lifetime with someone makes people open their eyes to the shit thats happening to and around them. Drastic changes like marriage or moving in together forces the rose tinted glasses to fall off and make you see the things you were ignoring before. They didnt wake up and decide the relationship "doesnt feel right" anymore, they simply started paying attention to themselves, their partner and the people around them

[@vikkidonn]

@@elliondecoteau5985 so you’re agreeing with me. “…..ignoring before”… so again it’s functional but emotional unstable women who should have never been in these long term relationships to begin with. For whatever reason they were ignoring things that were always there and just ignoring other things. Meaning they were pretending in order to keep the fantasy going which means they were never really with their partners the entire time.

[@elliondecoteau5985]

@vikkidonn yes im agreeing with you but the way you're framing it pushes a level of blame that doesn't really exist. Love makes people do dumb shit, we have enough examples of that in the world, arbitrarily placing all the blame on someone who just needed a reality check seems counterproductive to me. Sorry if thats not what you meant, it just seems that way to me

[@Taylor-f5s]

Why would I choose to have a miserable life

[@MrsPetal]

No happiness unless you’re both working every day to maintain the happiness, happiness and love and joy are plants of work that you maintain. You don’t take care of your children, they’ll be removed from your custody. One day you can’t just decide I’m not going to be a gf or a wife or a mom.

[@lovelyhope2664]

At first I thought the first woman was bitchy, but as she went on. I understood what she meant...

[@Garcelle1987]

I thought the first lady came across very well And her story, particularly for young black women is incredibly important

[@gailainsley6939]

How are women finding husbands? I’m sooo picky. I’m like yeah… he probably doesn’t exist 😅

[@tiahnarodriguez3809]

Some find husbands. The rest find man babies.

[@gailainsley6939]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 Girl. 😩 some of these stories…I honestly get soo confused about how quick they find them. I’m like… are they just saying ‘yes’ to anyone? 🫠

[@MB-xv7er]

Because these women are attractive. If you don’t have a lot of options it’s usually an indicator you’re older and not cute. But for these women, because of their pretty privilege, they found men and they then hurt those men. Some women hit the wall quicker than others but don’t worry…. Soon these women will hit it too and they won’t have any more men’s hearts to break because men won’t want them anymore

[@pamelaflynn1129]

Some guys are good on paper but there's no Za Za Zoo (SITC reference).

[@KGmeatball]

I knew be cause I had zero motivation to plan the wedding.and I love that kind of thing. It's good though cuz he was cheating afterall

[@stophidinginthedark]

Social media has surely destroyed society. It all comes down to getting something better when they don't realize they're own purpose men. Men stay with a woman who has purpose

[@nonotlikethatxoxo9509]

I did get married... shouldn't have done that. He was a good man, still is a good man as far as I know. Loved his family and all that. He just simply put was not my man. The best guide for me to heal and figure things out was time and the book Eat Pray Love. Not the movie mind you.. the book. I can highly recommend it to others.

[@dreyes397]

The first girl basically wanted a guy to take care of her financially she mostly mentioned money as being the main reason

[@hq200]

And she will find that or stay single.

[@MB-xv7er]

Most women want top men but they won’t get that. This trend of encouraging women not to settle and sabotage relationships is only going to backfire. It’s truly so sad because we already see so many women posting online and admitting that they shouldn’t have ended things with their previous partner once they realize they cannot get better and richer men. It’s an endless cycle

[@GrayTimber]

I shouldn't have had to go down so far in the comments to see someone mention this. Not dropping 1k at a moment's notice? Wanting to go 50/50 on expenses? Those are bad traits? That's just reality for most people these days. This insane pressure for men to be the financial powerhouses in a relationship is why divorce rates are high after a man loses his job

[@kimberlyplatt2382]

Frankly a lot of these ladies did these guys favors.

[@fa_abdi3001]

Look, they are all pretty ladies with multiple options and lots of men. Those who are ugly feel like whatever attention they get they should grab and hold on.

[@karlacortezsotelo412]

Love everything, but...... It is a bad thing to do 50 50?.. I mean that's how supposed to be... Or am I missing something?

[@dicksdrugsanddebutantes9305]

Thats what I thought too, 50/50 is pretty reasonable

[@cynamayavlogs]

Amen sister to the last one 🙌

[@lindaleelaw5277]

Its been said," you'll know".

[@hayaq9991]

Matties makeup is perfect

[@Milyme83]

Omg those eyesbrows 🫣😬

[@MrsPetal]

Moral of this story he got married to someone else and had a child and she’s still single. The smart woman got the man, the bum one still alone being “friends” with herself.

[@cpreality672]

All these men dodged a bullet!! And he thanks you.

[@ms.shiiproperly6777]

😂😂😂😂 he’s not wifi!

[@tagaway6173]

5:20 she ruined her advice by being condescending at the end... 😬 You WERE in a relationship like that.

[@missbeauxbaby]

She was the hardest to listen to for me.

[@mitotakyrah9244]

Demonic energy ke....please stop...If someone's intuition tells them not to get married to someone and she listens bcus deep down she knows why that doesn't mean she is looking for a demonic energy