Why You Feel Alone While Being In A Relationship | Fearful Avoidant Emotional Needs

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

A lot of times people talk about the need to communicate your needs to your partner. This is 100% right, and I think the person needs to communicate their needs to THEMSELVES first! Some people have pushed their needs down in themselves, it's best to first communicate their needs to themselves. What do you think? :)

[@underthesignofthemoon]

I think it's obvious that you are using this comment section to promote yourself :)

[@vtchevalier]

@@underthesignofthemoon facts, what do you think?

[@stevensantora2976]

1. Lonely or alone-Emotional needs not being met 2. Seeking outside attention outside of the relationship (validation). Boost for connection. Call for communication. 3. Love languages not being met. Love languages-Quality Time, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, 4. Using in direct strategies to get your needs met 5.Not knowing the needs of one another

[@sarahg2161]

When we first went to couples counseling and I brought up being lonely, the counselor basically told me to go meet my needs elsewhere, find more friends and not rely on my partner. How do you know what that balance is of not getting emotional needs met vs relying too much on just one person for "all" your emotional needs?

[@brendab2946]

Expecting something unreasonable with your partner. So i would ask what are you expecting that he/she isn’t doing?

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

I believe there's definitely truth in that. At the same time, we all have a need for love & connection and we're all made to connect with other people. Relying all your needs on another person obviously isn't healthy. At the same time if the other person is avoidant, or just not there, I think we all know that's not a good relationship. What do you think Sarah? :)

[@lizhowarth2398]

I broke up with a partner last week because it had become clear that they were not capable of meeting my needs, namely that I require conversation and exchange of ideas in order to feel close to someone and he just didn't 'chat' ever, about anything. I reached the conclusion to leave because: a) I expressed this need multiple times to him, clearly and verbally (I believe), and he continued to be unable to fulfil it, and b) we went away on a week's holiday together, after being together for a year, and I still could not get him to talk freely. Even away from all our other relationships, our work stresses - he just couldn't give me what I need. I felt lonely the entire trip, sitting in silence with him, or with him hiking ahead of me and leaving me behind. His response was that he didn't know how I feeling, even though I had cried and told him multiple times. I think the key thing here is that I expressed the need clearly, multiple times, and I could tell that he was trying to meet me in the middle, but our love languages and our ways of developing closeness were just totally mismatched. I think this is different to having a strong bond already, but feeling like there's something missing - I have plenty of other friendships and close relationships, and yet mine was a near constant feeling of loneliness when I was with him.

[@monicamonica5924]

@@lizhowarth2398 I guess he is a DA?

[@brendab2946]

@@lizhowarth2398 very strange he was so silent. Id get bored and turned off too. He will never maintain a healthy relationship with a quality girl (like yourself)and every girl will have the same complaints aimed at him I’m sure lol.

[@ometeotlhernandez5786]

#2 hit hard except I was meeting my own needs to try to make myself Believe the issues were within me.

[@LoveBug7828]

What if the feeling of loneliness isn’t with your partner, but with family members and you can’t 100% pinpoint or explain why?

[@jacksonscully2537]

What step could I take to overcome this lonely abandoned feeling? I get it as soon as someone tells me they like me. I start panicking almost instantly.

[@edgelordcutting]

offt when the title is a personal attack 😅 ❤

[@roshalllambert]

this is an interesting topic!good to know root cause of things!

[@daisynell7236]

What if the DA doesn’t have ANY of the 5 love languages? Maybe just barely has the quality time love language, but otherwise is almost entirely emotionally and physically unavailable/distant.

[@flyhigh6499]

I did the attachment test but I got a mix of the 3 types all the same why so

[@georgieeve2026]

You can refine the test results by taking the quiz separately for each type of relationship. E.g., taking the test with the focus of your mother or father, and then again for romantic relationships, work colleagues, Friendships etc.

[@saharaofthedeep]

Me too. I was confused about it at first but I found out later that its because I'm a fearful avoidant. They're in-between the dismissive avoidant and the anxious preoccupied so you might have a lot in common with both of them.

[@JudyKuki]

A lot of time we tried communicating we ended up getting into arguments.

[@melaniedonoghue8103]

I can relate to this .