Why You're Still FAILING Life at 30!!!|

Are Singaporeans really going on holiday just to sleep? How has Jared managed to have it all? What the heck is Ikigai?
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00:24 Introduction
01:16 Are Singaporeans really booking holidays just to sleep?
04:10 Why do people go on vacation?
10:50 The importance of separating work and personal life
16:41 Are Singaporeans too kiasu?
19:05 Do we always need to be working towards something?
27:25 When should you stay in your Comfort Zone and when should you branch out?
34:29 Outro
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Cast:
• Jonathan Paul / jonathanpaul.sxw
• Shermane Wong / justshermz
• Denise Oh / ohthedenise
• Alison Tan / alisonaliceally
• Jared Alex Tan / jaredalextan
Behind the Cam:
• Amirul Nashtrie
Edited by:
Krisha Sandhu

[@TheDailyKetchupPodcast]

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[@JCee3223]

To people who will inevitably seek advice from this podcast, just please pace yourselves properly. You don’t need to dig and claw your way to exhaustion and mental fatigue before 30. No you’re not a failure if you haven’t moved out of your parents house by 30. No you’re not a failure if you have less than 50k worth of savings by 30. No you’re not a failure if you haven’t earned 5 digit salary by 30. No you’re not a failure if you’re just a senior executive by 30 earning 5k. No you’re not a failure for not owning a car by 30. No you’re not a failure if you don’t have your own place to stay by 30. Everyone’s story is different. You might not be doing well now but it doesn’t mean you’re set for failure forever.

[@mysticery]

Never resonated so much with someone on the team more than Jared today. I feel happy i find someone i relate to. We need people similar to us around us to know that we dont always need to be the hustling 24/7. Its okay to be where we are if it brings us joy or comfort.

[@xxluapxx]

He knows his enough

[@rayroar1117]

Hi everyone, thank you for this episode! First of all, i want to overturn the belief that if we do nothing, we are stagnating or not improving. Try it. Do nothing. Keep your eyes closed. Don't move too much. Why is it so difficult (in the beginning)? When you close your eyes and do nothing, a lot of stuff comes out. The body starts throwing out emotional rubbish. Some healing (on all levels) starts to happen also. Some of these healing may be uncomfortable. And some of the emotional rubbish being expelled is uncomfortable too. Hence the urge to distract oneself. The throwing of rubbish and the healing is stopped if you are engaged in external activities. In other words, the body pauses its own healing if you are running too quickly in your external life. As you slow down, healing can happen. And no, some of these healing cannot happen during sleep. You need to be conscious for them to happen. ____________________________ And let me say something about improvement. Some of us may think that improvement means learning one more skill or earning one more dollar or doing one more task... But what about Being more joyful? Being more at ease? Being more loving? Even when nothing spectacular is happening? 1% more joyful, 1% more loving, 1% more at ease every day? This is not about being joyful by forcing external things to happen our way. But by improving how we breathe, how and what we eat, and how we move. So that our body functions better and produces more happy hormones. Isn't that worthwhile to improve upon?

[@zNicy]

I kinda like the bowl analogy. I'm someone who prefers my comfort zone and doesn't actively seek things outside of it. But, life tends to throw curveballs, like unexpected opportunities, sudden responsibilities due to tragic events, or meeting a partner who pushes you to new goals. Still, I believe we should be content with what we have because there's no limit to the "bowl" size. Constantly comparing with others can trap us in society's "rat race." Life's short, so do what makes you happy, whether it's small things like traveling, binge watching dramas or playing your favourite games, or big things like making money and chasing after a luxurious lifestyle. As long as you do your best and are responsible for yourself, your loved ones, and family, there's nothing wrong with choosing whichever lifestyle you deem fit.

[@sethryanchin]

Coming from the other side of the spectrum, I'm 26 and still have no idea what fulfills me so I feel I'm just filling my cup with nonsense until I figure that out? Which is why I'm constantly torn in the sense that I agree with John that it would be ideal for me to constantly grow and learn so that I can wholly experience the fullness that life has to offer. But then this overwhelms me because I have no idea what will contribute to that growth, seeing as I have no idea what I want to do with my life so then, I succumb to the idea that the idea of growth is completely arbitrary and I should learn to be content with where I'm at. Not to say that I think the two are mutually exclusive (in that I can't strive for growth and be content at the same time) but there's almost a cognitive dissonance in that I want to grow and be fulfilled but I have no idea how to and so, I'd rather just learn to be fulfilled where I am now? But then my question becomes what is fulfillment because personally, I feel fulfilled when I indulge in media that I love (books/games/film) and not have to work but I grapple with the idea that this may seem too trivial as it doesn't contribute to any personal growth or self-improvement. Hence, does fulfillment only count when it's tied to success or personal and professional growth? Should I strive to figure out a clear life purpose to feel fulfilled, or am I subconsciously conforming to societal standards of success and fulfillment? This is exactly why I look forward to vacations: getaways from the ideas and pressures of what I think my life should look like/what my life currently looks like. My head hurts, too many deep thoughts for a Tuesday morning 🫠

[@verselines]

There is nothing wrong with being 'stagnant' or not seeking out 'self-improvement'. If someone is content with, for example, 'only' playing games in his free time and remaining in their comfort zone, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if he doesn't harm other people or break the law while doing that. TBH JP halfway through sounded quite insufferable with his stereotypical pro-capitalist takes about how everyone must keep working to improve themselves and imposing his own views on the meaning/significance of life on others. He can knock himself out if he wants to keep pushing himself but please stop judging anyone who doesn't align with that mindset as somehow lesser as a human being or not worthy of existence as he kind of hinted at. Edit: After thinking about it for a while, solely in the context of a podcast, I can kinda appreciate JP playing devil's advocate to push the discussion forward. Still think his views if not moderated can be kinda harmful/toxic though, especially the part where he asked what is the point of someone existing if they don't fit his narrow worldview of how people should live.

[@JCee3223]

Exactly. Some people are stagnant at this particular point of time in life but it doesn’t mean that they’re incapable or lazy. For all we know, these people have been trying their hardest to succeed or make something meaningful career (and/or personal wise) but have been unfruitful. It’s just insane to me that societal expectations have deemed people a failure or loser for not building a successful startup or earning five digits by 31. Read less Forbes 30 under 30 and Fortune magazine please. Insane expectations that lead to burnout and suicidal thoughts.

[@Aoshimaro]

​@@JCee3223 some of Forbes 30 under 30 actually turned out to be fraudulent or liars too.

[@BomBomm12345]

Work smart don’t work just work hard

[@superbiggulpz]

man this comment should be pinned

[@yyyypong5564]

JP I’m with you on this one. I don’t really think he is being toxic just based on this podcast alone and in fact, I think it’s more toxic to throw labels with limited context. Everyone is entitled to their opinions of course. And sometimes we improve not by choice or without noticing it because by simply keeping up with the changes around us we are already improving. Bottom line is that the only competitor in life is yourself and are you happy where you are? :)

[@joeyyyiqi]

Good episode - while my mind is always thinking like JP in terms of self-improvement, I have been living like Jared. I'm a 29 year old female introverted singaporean who has never been in a relationship. Most of my friends are married/ with kids and somehow I have never felt the societal pressure to settle down or find a partner. Work wise I'm contented with where I'm and never felt the need to go out of my comfort zone as I can foresee myself having imposter syndrome if I were to do it long-term. However at times I do have thoughts like "what am I doing in my life?" "should i go out and explore more?" but the thoughts just pass by without any actions taken. Who can resonate?

[@marulian]

I feel that JP has made it in life at 30 with his robust watch collection. JP and Dan please do a review of your watches, would make for a special episode.

[@48maddog]

I'm 25, I dive at whatever interests me, I believe as long as you enjoy the process it's all good. Whether you fail at a startup, succeed at one, whether the end goal was worth it or not, I believe its a one in a lifetime experience to feel that way at the point in life. Living to me is just a accumulation of experience and memories that are yours and yours alone. Whether you are lost in life or found your drive, it's a experience that makes life rich. Keep it real with yourself

[@ReviewMedic]

This has been one of the most enjoyable episodes, IMO at least. So many different views, all speaking with an open mind, all understanding themselves well. This is a definition of a good discussion, where as if you were to have a discussion with someone who has a closed mind, it will definitely turn into an arguments orrrr, y'all will just go back to square one. At the end of the day, everyone here voiced out their thoughts, everyone else accepted it, because this topic has no fixed answer, really enjoyed how y'all have a very understanding synergy when discussing this topic.

[@Inkio01]

As someone who likes my comfort zone and is happy with it... Im being pushed by my job to take a position that requires more from me and that is putting me in the middle of the orange and yellow zones. I am grateful to my mentor for promoting me but it comes with a lot of responsibilities, stress and fear for me. Truthfully, i do not know how to feel but i guess my conclusion would be... I'll just do it to the best of my abilities and see how it goes.

[@evfdurs]

Just do it, you will be surprised at yourself!

[@zooanimal7578]

Contentment is a whole nother topic for this. I think we can do an episode on this! Like everything in moderation?& how to balance it all

[@vericklol3467]

Absolutely nothing wrong with being contented with where you are in life and what you have. Whatever brings you peace. On the flip side, I strongly agree with JP that we cannot be contented with everything in our life for too long. The fact that anyone can be contented with their mindset/values/principals as a person for prolonged periods of time without wanting to better yourself as a person can also be interpreted as arrogance that they don’t think they have anymore room for improvement. I think what JP speaks of is the ability to be content with where you’ve gotten and yet seeking self improvement to be a better person by 0.001% to 1% everyday. It’s not aiming for some crazy high managerial position everyday. Its having the ambition that what you do today, does justice to your potential in the long run. It’s not about being a pretentious Samaritan every single day. It’s about how to be more compassionate/humble/gracious/kinder/mature person everyday. Case in point, people that float in life, getting a things they never worked for and being contented with their immature man-child mindset. Conversely, someone that navigates life with a plan, being contented with what they’ve achieved and yet strives to better themselves everyday. This episode ties closely to the low/high value women/men episode. Aren’t we doing injustice to ourselves by accepting your self perceived potential ends at wherever you are and thinking that you’ve truly matured just purely from being in own comfort zone. Doesn’t that actually stumps your own ambition/betterment and hence makes one low/mid value? But idk man you do you 🥰

[@nilnil8072]

The key is to pace yourselves.. whether it is work or vacation.. with the concept of FIRE and all the rush to do more.. we may have reach the destination but we forgot about the journey. ..

[@Nahjeep]

Really loved this episode! It kept me engaged the whole session. I used to chiong like crazy, now that I'm older, I've decided to enjoy life as it is. Enjoy the work that I do, the off-work times, the exercises, the weekend chores and cooking. I always felt unfulfilled, or I am not where I want to be. Now I feel relaxed and let the flow bring me wherever it needs to bring me, and it feels so liberating. Best thing is that it has not affected my professional growth in a bit,

[@edwinlim4019]

Actually how does one even think of improving when it already takes so much effort maintaining? It seems our goalpost keeps shifting. Couple decades back the goal was to be a millionaire but now a HDB costs a million. Is it even possible to improve towards a certain goal? Or at this point the best we can do is to play catch up to keep our present lives? And if so, is it actually surprising why people choose to 'give up' or 'settle'? Anyway love the content. Keep up the good work guys. Have yall heard of this thing called 'quiet quitting' or 'bai lan'? Would be interesting to hear your views👍

[@coachshawie]

I completely resonate with Jon, not to be mistaken for Toxic Positivity or Aggressive self improvement drives, but intrinsic draw to explore the new, the unknown possibilities of fun, fulfilment, depth of relationships, WOW experiences and just the feeling of Awe in life. Highlight moments / Peak moments that make u say "Ah, I'm glad im alive to exprience this! So This is what Awe feels like". For me its these highlight moments to look forward to that makes life worth waking up to every day. Of course I recognize many people are in the burnout zone and need to recover before any Awe or self actualization can be explored. People are just in different states of mind, phases of life. Just meet each other where they are.

[@UnbxedToys]

I think people tend to forget that being content with where we are or remaining in our comfort zone can sometimes take as much effort as trying to change, improve or seek new things.

[@user-iw1yb1hc4g]

Kudos to Jon! I resonate with what you say. I try to live daily with self improvement. Even if its 1%. But it does get tiring to grow daily, however its more tiring when I dont see myself improving at all. he won a subscribe

[@mysticery]

Lol “actively seeking to expand their cup size”, “No, my cup just grows naturally”. I would be laughing at that line for days! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@colin-7711]

Some questions to think about for mindsets that goes with the flow: 1. Can you choose to retire? Forced/Choice 2. Have you catered for the risk of illness of yourself/family in terms of income and expense 3. Have you planned for the increasing difficulty of raising a child (optional) 4. Can you ensure that your child has sufficient - strong platform to grow due to how fast the world becomes competitive and stressful 5. Are you sure you can stay competitive for your career with influence from AI In other words, we push ourself when we are younger so that we can achieve more while we have the mental and physical strength. (ie you don’t want to go thru the above when you are 45years old). Thats why we have to be uncomfortable and push, essentially we are preparing for future risk.

[@matcha3454]

this ep was insightful with many good perspectives! i think some people are contented with settling in life while some find purpose in pushing for more -- which is fine as we should all live at our own pace. i think the problem comes in this hustle culture we live in, where there's an unsaid pressure to do well and constantly upgrade in order to feel like you are keeping up with the rest. in the end, everything is a perception. i think yall can def expand more on the topics covered but needless to say, i think i resonate with jp the most as i'm one who is always seeking thrill and challenges to improve myself. i find the most purpose and meaning in my life when i'm learning something new about others or myself, making mistakes or taking risks. i do encourage everyone to have a go at it as it's indefinitely life-changing and my perspective of how i want to live my life changed for the better. but to each their own! and we all have our own definitions of happiness or contentment.

[@fridayx1399]

i think it's important to also consider the idea that rest can be productive as well. a quote that i came across would be "choose when to rest yourself before your body chooses it for you"

[@sunnyboi4542]

i think how society functions as a whole requires both the people who find comfort in being where they are and those who are constantly seeking to better themselves. if the world was full of people who are comfortable being where they are, society stagnates/regress while if everyone wants to better themselves, no one would be satisfied i.e. no one would want to take the 9-5 jobs, the boring tasks, the basic things that are inherently still important as the foundation of society. ultimately, there is comfort in the discomfort of stagnation/ feeling like you’re stuck in a cycle bc that is what feels FAMILIAR. that familiarity is what keeps many comfortable with where they are despite knowing that there might be more to life outside. and whether or not we choose to step out of that comfort or not is rly just a matter of our values, and both paths are equally valid as each other

[@user-kc1ts9lp3m]

Great episode! I personally believe that we're our own "enough" and as long as that's what keeps us truly happy - happiness is a feeling that is created within ourselves and by ourselves.

[@evfdurs]

Comparison is the thief of joy so just dont compare yourself to others and you'll find your own happiness and fulfilment in your life, which seems priceless in today's world🙆‍♀️

[@ratedchamp1]

With kids and family , I have no idea how people afford to go abroad to far locations , most people go to Malaysia not only because of the exchange rate but we save on flight money

[@sharilali8240]

I’m grateful for my Malaysian trips:) maybe some people are richer, it’s okay. Life’s still good for me

[@TheMrleeyang]

everything is a choice

[@jefri4176]

Southeast Asia is good enough for holiday. Indonesia and Thailand have many good beaches for relaxing slow holiday. If you want shopping,Bangkok also good enough. But if you can afford more then can try Australia,it's totally different vibe. Go to Perth is near and cheap.

[@darvishabdulalim8043]

I’m with you. I’m 41. I have everything. The world will move with or without me…

[@Natalie-ki6gb]

Interesting conversation! I completely resonated with Jon, and I used to be super puzzled as to how some people do not actively seek to improve, and just want to lead happy lives in their comfort zones. What really expanded my mind was when I read about enneagram types! It is such an amazing tool that explains how differently we all are. It explains why some people constantly desire self improvement, and why some inherently do not and instead feel stressed about it. We’re all wired differently. It doesn’t matter if we don’t fully understand each other, as long as we respect each other & don’t impose your ideals and principles on others.

[@Missy_Ai]

For me, finding my own balance is crucial. Some see climbing up career ladder as successful, while some may deem it as slavery to career. Each to its own, there is no absolute. It’s like there is nothing wrong to love cycling, but if you demand people must love cycling and those who don’t love cycling is unhealthy, then you are wrong. Not everybody in this world must love cycling, and cycling is not the absolute way to exercise. There are people who prefers to swim, skating or mountain climbing.

[@AforAmateur]

There's the time for improvement and the time for relaxation/reward, just like going to the gym you need the rest period after pushing yourself. Also, quality of improvement beats the quantity/consistency of improvement although it's ideal to maximize both. For me I think it's good to take things easy at a sustainable level while enjoying the process of life, and when there really is a need to I will go hard and fast

[@Bucketstar263]

wow I was like Denise in the first few 3 years of my work life. Legit all my accomplishments are something relate to my full time work, I didn't do anything for myself in my own time. NOTHING. Everyday I just work hard in the office, get dinner and reached home exhausted and just fell asleep. Took me a few burnt out to realise it's time to let loose and let go something. Work is just work and the moment I quit, this company won't bat an eye to hire someone else. So I need to bring something out for myself after these years. Started to take walks and try things out with the money I save, learn new stuffs once in a while from last year. Draw again and try to soothing at art fair and weekend market. This kind of things are needed to make you feel more fulfilment and not wasting out in life. Hitting in my late 20s is like learning to pace between resting in comfort zone and try new things out.

[@biogenie]

I am someone who always keep pushing because if you never try you will never know. I follow Jordan Peterson advise quite a bit on this where he mentions that we should struggle like the world depends on us on it. If we just ready to accept comforts that life affords us today, it will be taken away from us. Nonetheless I understand some who might be able to chill and coast through life. But in general, I feel like I need the flavours of life has to offer.

[@Spamboiiboii]

Side note: its NNN guys stay strong we're halfway there

[@Lala_lalacllll]

I love this podcast if I haven't said it yet ❤ I love how the cast is so bold to be transparent. It's not easy to even share this topic among friends as ppl are worried about being judged, they are sharing in public. 1 opinion to share: no one is able to stay the same. We will either move forward or move backward.

[@xuele94]

Im glad there many long comments this ep that i could keep reading it like a storybook. I could relate to every single one's point of view n we can clearly see that generally majority choose to stay in safety zone n r contented. I don't think that's a problem as everyone do have our own goals n satosfaction scale. I would like to say i have always strive to be a over-achiever. Same mindset as jon, when every year i need to learn smth new to be even 1% better at minimal. But i have also when through what jared mentioned, where i tried n tried to be out but constantly not having the entry point. That made me tired n got contempted with where i am understanding that i might have the best boss or a boss that understands or grooms me. But after yrs i have learnt to work w him understanding his style. While working w other leaders i realise my boss might not be the best but there r bigger challenge ahead to work w a ambitious boss without a clear plan or time to support. Tat is where i am even more contempted w where i m. Having the pay grade i dreamt of. Found the love of my life. Having time, leave n money to travel. I think it's fairly ok to be contempted with little things. That makes ur life less stressful n being more acceptive to happiness. I do also agree that not being active in working on improvements does not mean u r stagnant. We naturally grow through experience. Life is short. Time to ur own having to do watever makes u happy means the world. I will not compensate that w a higher pay but no life job. Life is too short. My aunt worked hard for her whole life but had to retire at a younger age due to illness. The gold pot she build w time can't even be used when ur health hits at a low pt. So live ur life happily most importantly. Although i must say those that are rich r those that truly plan n work hard outside of work to grow their pot of gold. I am guilty that i am not in the active position in growing passive income but truly hope to have a higher motivation soon in having future regrets.

[@xfall86]

Eh happy can liao. We live in a weird society where success is defined solely on status and wealth, or the 5Cs. Everyone is different. To me success is having good health and fostering good relationships/social bonds - be it with loved ones or being kind to strangers. I dont give 2 hoots if you or myself have 10mil cash. Money isnt a big deal so long i can put food on the table and pay bills - especially Internet access.

[@leolusanez5378]

Guys I know this is a long shot, but can I ask for your Podcast's intro song and if there's a full version of it? It's really good, along with the rest of your content. :D Thanks for always giving us intelligent conversations.

[@ziadsalam4754]

I've been doing it since 2007. Getting away from my family just to get good proper REM morpheus-Induced m'fin sleep. No other 'sleepings'

[@Leeeeeong]

If you’re constantly seeking out “happiness” “fulfilment” etc., you’ll never feel happy, fulfilled etc. Be contented and grateful, and never compare (easier said than done).

[@disterasd123]

Dr K. has videos on this, which are insightful and helpful for me personally. It ranges from confidence, relationships, purpose, trauma, boundaries and more. it allowed me to realise what I didn't know.

[@oklah55]

I think there are no wrong for choosing to expand to maintain cup size. Important is to respect every individual decision as long as it don't harm others

[@Alphidius]

Most people go through life with their bowl gradually expanding and slowly filling it up again and the cycle repeats itself. There are only a handful that are actively seeking to be the biggest bowl around, I think doing that actually causes Burnouts and Fatigue in life.

[@PAPpopulist163]

She opined that the “exchange rate” for the past few years has increased to “two chickens” instead of “one chicken for a chicken wing”. The so-called subsidies are simply not enough. Their retirement budget has shrunk significantly and they have to take on odd jobs, as and when available, even though physical strength and health is an issue.

[@CrazyPaperSun]

To each his/her own. The way that each person defines what makes them happy is different. Rather than meeting society norms and forcing our perspective on other people, why not get to know the other person more by understanding why doing certain things make them happy? "Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way, you are right." -Henry Ford

[@VivianHoGrey13]

+1

[@MrMasbest]

It all depends on what you want in life. Just don't regret anything when you are coming to the end of it.

[@freakingspider3648]

It is perfectly okay to be where u are. No one can force you to change unless LIFE wants it. The world is forever moving and you are forever moving towards death. You are born, you breath, you die. Everything in between are just moments u experience, be it good or bad. For change is the only constant. IF you have a goal, just work towards it. Once you achieve it just chill and relax. Do not let the opinions of others affect you. You are your own competition. Ignore the illusion/ego of competition with others. It causes a internal conflict in the mind. Which causes stress and anxiety.... When was the last time you looked at a flower, or the sky, or the moon? Its the lack of control over the mind that causes all the phenomenon of life. We blame everyone around us, but we are only the cause. So maybe just breathe and accept every moment. BE it good or BAD. Just breathe and it too shall pass. Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life ~ Eckhart Tolle

[@badmintonlover3000]

Interesting episode and I enjoyed everyone's sharing!

[@xuele94]

On travelling, i uds the need to clock as many places as possible due to the exp flight ticket. Over time i have learnt to slow down the pace, its ok to wake up late. It's ok to set just 1 key attraction per day n leave the rest as optional while we choose on the go. Rest is what we need. If we r tired, travelling to 5 diff places a day is a torture n should not be counted as a vacation. U r suppose to relax. Just experiencing living aboard as a citizen at 1 location isnt too bad. Try it n u can decide urself if the chiong style or the go w the flow works better for u. To me its less tiring n more enjoyable having lesser mandatory checkbox. We might not be rich but make it as extra motivation to b bck to the same country exploring places tat was not visited. The nxt round.

[@dchew5552]

agreed throughout the video although im in my mid twenties except im unemployed as ive pituitary gland damaged back when I was sec4 and recently I realised ive amnesia for the past nine years as I shared my stories on social media the accident in how I got hit in the head during pe lesson back in sec4 which I had nosebleed and had coma for two days, recently I remembered that before the accident I was bullied by my classmates, got followed home and lots of nasty pranks. someone pointed out to me that ive vascular dementia and stroke and it was true because after the accident I had leg numbness which slowly became walking while jerking my leg, that why I stopped going to school as I dont have the muscle to stand during morning assembly which my entire class kept yelling at me to stand but I cant. my mom back then went to school for answers, nobody bother her, she looked for my teacher, he didnt bother. recently when I remember the accident, I quickly dm my classmates if she have saw the accident, sadly she didnt but remembered very clearly I had nose bleeding back then and had vascular stroke afterwards she also pointed out to me we looked for help from the wrong person because our teacher was hopeless as she got bullied by the same group of bullies. even current student from the school told me how terrible this teacher was, I initially spoke good words about him, but when I told him I finally remember the accident nine years ago during his lesson through Facebook, he gave me angry face emoji and blocked me. I told my school councillor from back then because she shared the same room w me back in sec3 trip to Malacca, she told me to get help and allowance from family service centre since having the stem to my brain damaged its impossible to work, the counsellor from the family service centre told me there's no such accident back then, saying I'm delusional, and told me to get a job from sgenabled instead but ive mentioned that ive tried several jobs but brain fog happened, anxiety kicked in and I quit. then he spoke to my mom and told her she's mentally ill. people kept telling me on social media to get help, I also felt that I need help. so this was the help I got instead, being called out crazy. I could relate to the sense of being tired. cause the entire past month after tripping from the stairs at the mall, I kept dreaming of the accident happened nine year ago and slowly I was very sure of the entire accident which realised ive nine years of amnesia which only my mom believed.

[@Heck-ed6sr]

I think the direction/mindset of our lives should align with our individual purposes. If purpose is something we set for ourselves, then everyone has the right to choose their path without external imposition. If purpose is something we discover, then whether we get a say on how another should live depends on whether we believe it to be universal or individual. Imposing a purpose on someone else (which is distinct from helping someone achieve their personal goals once we understand them) overlooks the subjective nature of life's purpose and implies that there is an objective universal purpose. In that case, maybe the question to be addressed is who determines this universal purpose, and what is it? Even when assuming there is a universal purpose, the path to achieving it may vary for each individual and it might not be appropriate to insist on a uniform approach or identical steps for everyone. If happiness was the goal, and if different people take pleasure in different things, then each person would have a different path to happiness.

[@whoopeedoopee251]

Love Denise’s bowl theory, it was a great end to the episode :)

[@DenHeart]

Spend long good time and enjoy one location is better than travel many places and visit only the surfaces.

[@garethNP]

Amazed that Jon Paul knows about Sisyphus though the pronunciation :D

[@neowkarting8455]

Hey coming from, Spotify, I think some mics are working and some are not. Hope you all can fix it. Thanks.

[@jiawei0917]

So many people getting defensive over JP’s view on life. But then never realise they’re always chasing the next big thing, next iPhone, next house, next car, next trip, next achievement, next relationship status, child, so on. Even with Jared’s life, he’ll always be chasing the next big game that he wanna play

[@andytanwh]

my headspace is like Jon. very tiring place to be actually.

[@wholesomebread1787]

Release the Gary Neville episode

[@alisahan9053]

Aiyo.. u guys still have it good leh.. wait for another 10 years when you have aging parents and school-going children... and when you're the sandwich filling in the family sandwich... that's when you WILL FEEL REALLY REALLY TIRED! Don't get me wrong... i love your shows and love your discussion topics. It's so real! So keep it up!

[@JuzNicky]

Hey TDK crew !! Happy long weekend tell Tuesday!

[@matildajin4841]

i think improvement can extend beyond the sense of career/financial success, as what most of the comments are discussing. it can mean continuously striving to be a better partner, child, or friend, and this willingness to self reflect and iteratively improve oneself is a super important trait for a person to have. humans are intrinsically flawed. imagine if a person was set in their ways. they refuse to take constructive criticism because they are comfortable where they are and can’t be bothered to put in the effort to change their behaviour - it’s impossible to get along with these people. they’re lazy in their relationships, and they would never see any character growth. a character quirk you might see in someone at 20 could persist to become a major blocker in life at 60. while i think it’s fair if you have no desire to climb the corporate ladder and earn big bucks, i think that having the self awareness to recognise what your flaws are and being willing to work on them is a super important quality to have in relationships and life. it just makes you a better person in general.

[@MyG-kc2id]

JP needs to understand that each person have different perspective as to how they want to live their lives. To him, he may feel that experience new experiences and learning new things are his meaning of life but that may not apply to other people because they have a different perspective in life. To me, i can spent my entire offday doing activities similar to what a triathlete would do, sounds tiring but i enjoy it alot but for an inactive person, this is crazy and exhausting, and that is fine. At the end of day, it about finding what you want to do in your life and what makes you happy, and everyone needs to respect each other choices.

[@kylieng4617]

Thank U to the great team that putting this together, I think after listening to everyone pov it sounds like we go through live in phases it's like a wave There is times we aim to seek out the best and try to strive to the best of our abilities and that is us peaking but when we peak there is also a slow curve down where we are now tired and we start to take the back seat and be content with where we are at, and this time is where we reflect and we explore and we take time to count our blessings and than slowly live takes a turn and we have to raise to the peak be it internal interest / fulfilled or external forces we go up again. So I think the key here is balance like we don't have to keep pushing pushing and not have time to enjoy . But U also can't enjoy if U are struggling to keep food on the table So I believe it's a balance, there are years where we are achieving big things and than there are years where we are content with where we are at

[@enzokiang]

i need that gary neville episode asap!!

[@VivianHoGrey13]

Go with the flow, and that flow is WaVyyyyy

[@tanweiting9515]

wanted to resttttt so came here but this ep made me more tired 😅

[@zzhi3338]

I am content with this kinda content :)

[@zeenyzee]

For those in the panel who r not married n dun have children yet, i dun think u really understand what tired is

[@PAPpopulist163]

“While they can come up with all the logical arguments to raise this price and that price, but they can’t feel our pain, I am disappointed!” She ended our conversation with a common Chinese expression 针刺不到你身上，你永远不知道有多痛. Literally, if you are not pricked by the needle, you won’t know how painful is the experience.

[@alui5362]

what you guys described - people who want to settle and relax and not think about constant improvement - this is a symptom of a privileged society btw. it's only a privileged mindset that leads a person to think that they actually should no longer fear or need to fear being left behind, not having to worry about getting in trouble as a consequence, whether financially or otherwise. of course then otherwise you wake up one day and get rudely awaken like the hare (in the tortoise and the hare), or.. your life is really that shiok lo. but basically, it's a symptom of privilege. it's up to you how you want to enjoy or leverage that privilege.

[@alui5362]

for the rest of the people who are still chionging... well hopefully the 'content' people don't end up being a burden lah. like when they get being 'pushed' out of their comfort zone in their 40s, 50s, 60s and it's too late to reskill because they've been coasting for their entire career, and now have to raise taxes on the middle class just to take care of them, etc. esp the DINKs, cuz it's not like you can push them to the children to take care of them.

[@alui5362]

oh, would add also, cuz I just took a look at the rest of the comments section - it really is a symptom of a privileged society lor, lol. which is where we're at atm in Singapore society (and it tends to go downhill from here). when you see how prevalent the 'it's okay to be stagnant' thinking is... seriously, you won't hear this from poorer/struggling folk who are hungry af to get ahead. you only hear it from people who are comfortable and feel entitled to that comfort.

[@Aoshimaro]

You thinking such is also because of your privilege. The poor and under-privileged aren't thinking of self-improvement, they're trying to focus on survival first. You only have time to think of improvement when your basic needs are met, not before. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have the same salary or be happy doing the same job. You can choose what you want to be without hurting someone else. What you so choose to be doesn't have to impact someone else, or yourself, self-improvement is more than climbing the career ladder or a bigger pay package.

[@alui5362]

aiyoh, don't need to be offended.. and talking about 'privilege' isn't meant to be a slur that you use to sling around and say 'you also what'... you've gotten so upset that you've missed the point. you think poor and under-privileged aren't thinking of self-improvement? only survival? so how do you survive without improving yourself? i'm not talking about what over-privileged people think of in terms of going for french language class, learning muay thai leh. I'm talking about figuring out how to do a better job, get a second job, get a better paying job, hustle, climb the career ladder, all these are part of improving your LIFE, which comes from improving YOURSELF. you don't need to attend a class to improve yourself. also missing the point about choosing to do what you want without hurting someone else. the point is that of course everyone thinks they won't hurt someone else right, that their life is sustainable, right? until it isn't. until you realise shit you're in trouble and can't actually support yourself because circumstances change - your job becomes obsolete at 40 when you had depended on working till you were 60+ (plenty of people going through this in SG btw, go talk to them), your savings aren't enough, your investments went bust, your CPF was mismanaged (all these things we take for granted in a privileged society). then how? oh. aiyah don't worry - govt should raises taxes to take care of the people mah. social spending gao gao. and that's how it happens lo. tough times make strong men, strong men make good times, good times make weak men. it's a cycle of how societies rise and fall. it's simple fact mah. what's there to argue? the fact that you can feel comfortable with being stagnant means you don't think circumstances will change. and you don't think circumstances will change because you're used to it and naively think it can't go away. and haven't realised it's a privilege that we enjoy here in Singapore that can be fleeting (because it wasn't earned - it was inherited). good times breed complacency - the lack of drive, lack of worry, is exactly a symptom of that mah. it's uncomfortable but I'm not ur enemy. reality is reality - can pretend it's not there until it bites you in the ass. @@Aoshimaro

[@user-hl2sk1tp6m]

While you should be grateful where you're at, it would seem somehow arrogant to say that I have achieved everything I wanted to when I'm 30. Having this mindset would cause obstacles for the evolution of the human race. If every one's just settling where they are, no one will strive to improve and achieve more. I'm not necessarily talking about materialistic matters, but say that if you're a videographer, there's always space for improvement. You can't be the best videographer in the world right now, and even the best videographer in the world is constantly improving. Saying that I have a house and a happy wife, so I can take my time to learn what I want to, when I want to, comes from a place of entitlement. Some of us don't have the choice, and we have to constantly go at max speed.

[@blurberryism]

How about job security? Getting complacent this early would undoubtedly get you disqualified in our fast moving world. You don't live alone u know.. especially we talk about AI coming into play. You won't even stay relevant long enough to see full automation.

[@blurberryism]

Oh and u talked about bowls getting bigger when life naturally throws you curve balls.. but human are creature of habits. If you don't get into the habit of progressing step by step, very little of us can take 1 fast ultra curve ball and remain standing. This thinking of "I'll handle better when I need to" is the same thinking as "I'll adult better when I become an adult" and we all know we still suck at adulting and some blamed others that we weren't taught to adult at a young age.. now you're given a chance to improve at a relatively young age! (Think uncles and aunties with young children getting retrenched at 50s)

[@libraries144]

nice HXH shirt sherms

[@armstr8]

Ignorance is a bliss

[@superbiggulpz]

team Jared!

[@kwasc2001]

A-..

[@aurorarun1480]

Can do an episode on NPC? Do you believe there are NPCs in this world etc. Thanks :)

[@loodakris5928]

I thought Lee Kuan Yews biggest worry was if Singaporeans dont have kids they will have to get immigrants to fill the jobs to support the economy.

[@kroop]

algo

[@jaimensy]

please read my comment thank you

[@wjw-ns4sv]

wa i always feel so frustrated when watching an episode with jon paul in. he really feels the need to get his point across, and for people to agree with him. he needs to learn how not to continuous project his views on others. like another viewer pointed out it was "insufferable". this has happened many times already. not great for this podcast. he also needs to understand that many of his views are actually rather narrow minded, he should keep his mind open and can consider broadening it by listening to others or reading more

[@jenn8630]

sg的假期太少了 如果可以多一点假期就太棒了

[@Ben-kh2rh]

Algooooooo

[@marcus2wheels]

Hunter x hunter 😄

[@TheDailyKetchupPodcast]

Killua!!! - Sherms

[@benwong2061]

Algooooooooooooooooooo

[@LH-gz7js]

Don’t like the one on the left

[@alisoneng]

Jared and rest of team, echoing the words of Allie Stuckey, “you’re not enough and that’s okay”. 📖 🫶🏻 Loving these intriguing conversations.. keep them coming pls.

[@eeto_plays]

[@callista6566]

omg i hv rewatched modern fam for an infinite number of times by now. 😭 it brings me sm comfort