Why You SHOULD Be a Pushover

Sometimes giving in early is actually the best approach to avoid teaching your child to use tantrums to get what they want. The message here isn't that we should always say yes to every request. But there are times when it's the best answer, even if you don't really want to allow their request.
Following this approach will help you avoid what's known as the "escalation trap", while allowing yourself to feel less pressure without creating long-term behaviour problems.
As always, I hope this helps!
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[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks for watching! I am so excited to share our course Happy Place with you. You can check it out by clicking on this link: brightestbeginning.com/happyplace

[@RESMANTECNOLOGIA]

the course is in spanish?

[@gotglint.]

@@RESMANTECNOLOGIA I’ve seen the video on German… check the little icon in the right corner there you can select the audio language. It‘s an AI KZbin uses, therefore I’d guess the course is in english. Correct me if I’m wrong @emmahubbard

[@nikopolkarhangelsk]

Mother of two here, a tactic that was very successful for me was establishing rules before going to the supermarket. Making a list together, including them in process of shopping etc. Every Time I would tell them we will only buy things from the list and it worked like a charm. If they asked for a cookey all I had to do is say it's not on the list or we didn't agree to buy it this time and they would stop asking. Or if we would just say we are buying only what we need and even if we see something we like we will not get it. They say ok and later on I just remind them they agreed not to get it themselves. Since it is not me saying no but me reminding them they said ok to a rule it worked.

[@LaitoChen]

Finally a fellow tactician. =)

[@JaySwag77]

I need to use this more. My little guy responds so much better when I prep him, when I let him know what to expect beforehand. I think he'd respond well to this.

[@jenniferrush8231]

Another thing i do is say how about we take a picture of it so we can remember it for your birthday wishlist or to put on the list next time. My kids never ask to look at the pictures we have taken but it somehow still really helps. It seems to register with them that i’m listening and it works everytime.

[@staceyross1355]

I'm commenting so I can maybe save this for myself. This is very good advice.

[@dariajacq4769]

I take pictures for myself while online shopping instead of buying immediately. Works really well!

[@amandatyler]

It seems counterintuitive but being consistent and acknowledging your kid's wants (even and especially when you have to say no) is so helpful to preventing or managing tantrums and big emotions. When my toddler (who's almost 2) really wants toy at the store, for example, instead of just saying no and walking away, we talk about it - I acknowledge that he wants the toy, ask him what he likes about it, we talk about it, describe it, maybe compare it to toys he already has, etc. Then we say goodbye to the toy and move on. Yes, it takes longer and no, it doesn't always prevent him from being mad or sad that he can't have it, but it REALLY helps a lot most of the time and it applies to pretty much anything when we're out and about. Acknowledging his feelings and addressing them together really goes a long way.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Exactly! Thanks so much for sharing!

[@raea3588]

I think that's wonderful! Children do have feelings and wants too. When we as adults go into a store we like to look at what we want even if we can't have it right then. I know someone who once worked in the toy section and he said "I feel that the parents who constantly say "No, no, no! Are creating more havoc and harm than the parents who let their children run wild. And neither are teaching their children balance and self control." My mom almost always took us over to the toy section as soon as we got into the store. She loved to look too :) We rarely ever got one but we enjoyed and moved on. Usually at the end of a shopping trip we were allowed to pick out something small at the cash register; a piece of candy or a little pack of crayons. It wasn't presented as a reward but our mom did appreciate that we had been helpful, well behaved and got the job done. She picked out a magazine and we all went home happy with our errand.

[@RevolutionaryYak]

I do the same thing with my 2 year old! He just wants to look and touch the toy, then we put it back and leave happy! Sometimes he has a toy that he REALLY likes, and I've been hiding them for Christmas! I'll occasionally buy him a toy, Maybe once or twice a month. We don't have store tantrums.

[@amandatyler]

@RevolutionaryYak yes thankfully with this method we rarely have meltdowns when we're out and about!

[@amandatyler]

@raea3588 Yes, I completely agree, hearing no all the time must be so frustrating for little ones! We have a parenting rule in our house: before saying no, take a moment to ask *why* we're saying no. Is it because what they want is inconvenient or annoying for us, and we're wanting to say no selfishly? Or are we saying no because we are enforcing a boundary or a safety rule? Just stopping to ask ourselves why as the parents we want to give a certain answer is really helpful!

[@juliafernandez-cuervo9106]

My mum did it very well. She had 8 kids all within 10 years, you can imagine! We were all young together. Before we go to a shop she would tell us, don’t touch anything or ask for anything, if you do we will go straight home (harsh I know) but she kept to her word. I remember her dropping all the shopping once my brother kicked a fuss about wanting something, and straight home we went 😂 she only had to do it once or twice and then never again. As children we also made sure the younger ones behaved because no one wanted to go back home! I’m not saying this is the best way of doing things. She was single mum of 8 (our father past away) so you have to be very strict in this circumstance to not become a pushover. All I am saying is that it worked!!! ❤ and I admire her for it.

[@janvan4424]

I had 4 kids and used this method and it worked great as well

[@chantelled7710]

Respect. (Mum of 3 under 3 who often feels like a single parent- it's hard work!!)

[@shizenkv]

my mum did this- we were allowed to ask but if we started "fussing" we'd just go back home lol

[@pigpjs]

My mom told me.when I was 4 if I didn't stop we'd go home. Imagine my shock when she picked me up out of the grocery cart, left the cart in the aisle, informed an employee where the cart was while apologizing for the extra work, and took me home. Never threw a tantrum in a store again.

[@velvetchiharu]

Powerful parenting 👏🏼 I once saw a woman eating at a cafe with 2 small children, she quietly told one of them “you are almost 2 years old you need start acting like it.” Idk what genre of parenting that is but it happened 8 years ago and she rocked my world 🫣 I turned to my husband stunned like.. we can have expectations?? Of a child less than 2?? Well okay, I did not realize that.

[@sarahmartin1858]

Oooooh my mom did this too!

[@MsChitterchat]

@@velvetchiharuAwful thing to say to a very small child 😢

[@MJFloof]

That’s the move

[@michaelparker2326]

@@MsChitterchatI agree. It’s okay to have some expectations of a child, but it has to be relevant to their age and development level, and you should never tell a child to act their age or compare them to other kids their age, that just damages them and makes them believe that they only get your love and affection when they behave a certain way and meet your expectations. That’ll only set them up for a lifetime of low self-esteem and seeking validation from others.

[@michellethiesen7972]

When there are big emotions I don't call them tantrums, they're meltdowns and everyone has them sometimes. Tantrums are when it's intentional and calculated. I had both as a child and it's important to me to recognize the difference because I would get in trouble for meltdowns because they mistook them for tantrums. And I remember how hard that was for me.

[@carolynquigley2287]

My 11yr old has meltdowns and my husband thinks he's being disrespectful and yells at him. Now when our 2yr old has meltdowns, my husband claims the 2yr old learned it from the the 11yr old. I wish my husband would listen to child psychology instead of just assuming he knows everything

[@betzyberumen6910]

Omg this is so important thank you for mentioning this I'll definitely remember this thank you!

[@Shahar.Kadosh]

Eating a big meal right before grocery shopping has been very helpful to our family. Less cravings for everyone and more energy to face the challenges ahead of us in the candy isle.

[@EmmaHubbard]

So true!

[@hazeld7216]

More energy 😅 this made me laugh

[@ianbelletti6241]

I've learned from my parents that you just need to stick to your guns. If you say no, then it should stay no. My parents have also done the "Ok. I'll get it but you must behave." Strategy to encourage and reward good behavior. With the cookies, maybe it wasn't essential that the child doesn't have a cookie but that it doesn't spoil dinner. If it's just that you don't want it to spoil dinner, you could pull "OK. I'll get them but you can only have one after dinner. If you misbehave I'm going to put them back." If the child still throws a tantrum then, no matter how tired you are, you need to follow through and put the cookies back.

[@sue7846]

This advice works so so well! My son is almost 3 now and I really lucked out learning this in a child development class - and how important it is not just for avoiding accidentally reinforcing tantrums, but also ensure no means no for very important situations, like a child running ahead of you during a family walk (& you’re no longer in the park but on the sidewalk approaching a busy street). No has to mean no. So we typically say yes to reasonable requests like wearing his rain boots to dinner (why not, who cares really). And if we’re tired and not sure yet if we need to say no, we just say give me a second, and then answer (rather than say no to then say yes when he’s crying). Worse yet I learned the longer you try not to give into their crying/tantrum, but then it gets worse so you give in and say yes, child is more likely to go straight to that out of hand level a tantrum in the future as that’s the behaviour that was rewarded! A friend of my also shared it was so important in her household growing up b/c it helped her and her mom move on with the day, knowing no meant no. When her cousins would come play and would ask to go to the movies and get candy, and my friends’ mom told them no, my friend as a kid knew to move on and find something else fun to do that day. But her cousins kept asking and crying and nagging, to the point my friend as a kid said to them “when my mom says no, she means it, so let’s find something else to do, we’re losing all our time”

[@babahubbi7147]

It's best to have a routine which is never getting a cookie besides Sundays. Or whatever you find appropriate. Child lives in a sense of lack of safety if him getting a cookie always depends on parents decision vs regularly getting unconditional cookie on some day or occasion (depending on what you as a parent find appropriate)- that gives child sense of routine and therefore safety. Getting used to this will surely end in some tantrums in the beginning but it will work

[@melisabatmaz6660]

It's about a cookie. Not about big changing life events. There is nothing unsafe about that. Sometimes no is no and it doesn't need to be in any other way that the child eventually get what it wants. Mind you, we are preparing children to become proper adults in an adult life. They will face so many disappointments and a lot of no in this life. Life is not controlable or that super safe place where everything is settled for them. They need to learn how to cope with that. And it starts with a cookie. Stop pampering children like the world is theirs and the world revolves around them. It's not reality and you get really unpleasant adults from that sort of upbringing.

[@Coden11]

Or just teach them that sometomes the answer is no. Life is not a rigid schedule ans be ok with the fact theyre upset about it. Hard rules over somethinf as simple as a cookie is as controlling as tantruming.

[@babahubbi7147]

@@melisabatmaz6660 yeah that's true also, I just think this routine would work well with a little kid like 2-3 years old, but I do agree that at some point it's important to have discipline and kid needs to get accustomed into being told simply NO as you say. I'm not a fan of pampering personally, there's plenty of occasions to teach a no to a kid outside of candy situation. Getting candy once a week as a rule I also wouldn't considering pampering tbh. The subject of the video was how to avoid tantrums, your method with a harsh NO is fine by me but not necessarily a method to avoid tantrums. I personally don't mind tantrums, I use it as a teaching moment for my kid to show them that this will not lead to anything, but I referred to the video that advices on how to avoid tantrums. My method was not about not saying NO, it's about having a reason why you say NO (cause these are our preestablished rules not because parent wants that)

[@babahubbi7147]

@@Coden11 that is fine by me, but not necessarily the method to avoid tantrums which the video was about

[@youtubecommentator6023]

@melisabatmaz6660 so the original comment wasn't wrong about routine brining safety. Routine 100% brings a child safety. Now whether that routine includes a cookie or not doesn't matter, it's the routine itself that brings safety and security. So perhaps they could be somewhat right in that yeah, a cookie routine could actually be brining the child safety and security. But it's not the cookie doing that it's the routine. So I don't really think there's much reason to hound the original comment since, in a way, what they are saying is correct.

[@mypointofview1111]

Maybe I'm old fashioned but my son only threw a tantrum once when he was around 2 years old in a supermarket when he wanted sweets and i didn't have money for them. He screamed, lay on the floor kicking and punching for all he was worth. I just calmly walked away round to the next aisle. He quickly realised he wasn't getting any attention, stopped crying, sprang up and ran to find me. He was nore concerned he would be lost than having sweets. Needless to say he never did that again

[@diaryofacrankykid7270]

Key points and takeaways on managing child tantrums: Pre-Shop Planning: Establish rules before going shopping, like making a list and agreeing only to buy items on it. This method helps set expectations and reduce demands for unplanned purchases. Acknowledging Desires: When a child wants something, acknowledge their desire by talking about the item, comparing it to things they already have, and then moving on. This approach helps manage their emotions by validating their feelings. Consistent Responses: Be consistent with responses. Say 'yes' to reasonable requests and take a moment to decide before responding to others. This helps children understand the meaning of 'no' and reduces the likelihood of reinforcing tantrums. Understanding No Means No: Teach children that 'no' is final. This understanding helps them accept refusals and move on to other activities without persisting or throwing tantrums. Empathetic Communication: In situations where a child is upset, empathetically communicate with them about their feelings. This can help de-escalate situations and prevent full-blown tantrums. Distinguishing Tantrums from Meltdowns: Recognize the difference between tantrums and emotional meltdowns. Meltdowns may require reassurance and understanding rather than discipline. Calm and Gentle Approach: Remain calm and show empathy while maintaining boundaries. This helps children handle situations better. Offering Alternatives: Instead of flatly denying a request, offer alternatives. For example, suggest different snacks instead of the one being asked for. Routine and Predictability: Establish routines, like having specific days for treats, to give children a sense of security and predictability. Preventing 'Hangry' Situations: Ensure children (and parents) aren't hungry when going out, as being 'hangry' can contribute to tantrums. Carrying snacks like bananas or apples can be helpful. Parental Self-Care: It's also implied that taking care of the parent's own needs is essential in managing children's tantrums effectively.

[@xWabbli]

Thank you!

[@MeoCulpa]

The stock footage at 1:44 is simply incredible 😭 so much raw toddler energy and despair.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Our video editor is amazing!

[@vegstacie]

This video is so validating because I had a near-tantrum moment in a store recently that I was mulling over whether or not I handled it correctly. I stayed calm, pulled her to the side and told her that I know she’s upset but explained why things were happening the way they were. She was quite sad about it for a while but didn’t combat me any more.

[@notMattGarska]

It's called parenting and for some reason it seems to be going out of fashion. Maybe not enough planned pregnancies, maybe we're all just too exhausted and broke

[@M13C7]

I think it may also be important for some parents to know that not everything is a tantrum, it can also be a meltdown. Just because you think your child is "conciously" throwing a tantrum, they could also be emotionally overwhelmed. Punishing your child in any way isnt the goal of this video of course, but many still do this because they think a child is conciously and delibatedly crying or being "difficult"; when they may be overwhelmed and need reassurance. I suppose most people watching this are trying to understand their child and have an open eye-to-eye conversation with them. But way too many parents, especially older people, will think any form of crying is a deliberate test of authority from the child. And this isnt correct.

[@heather9130]

Great video! We've been following this advice with my toddler and it's so effective. "No" is a strong word when we use it because my son rarely hears it. My husband says "it's not no, it's yes to other things." "We're not going to have a cookie right now. Would you like an apple or a banana?" Just like Emma says. When he does melt down, we offer a hug and just let him feel his feelings. He usually cries out in a few minutes and then is more open to options. It's helpful to remember that his feelings are very real to him in that moment. He's hurt and upset, not acting out. It helps me to stay calm. Our worst meltdowns right now are about getting dressed in the morning. I offer outfit options and he just says no to me 😅

[@jengiolando4159]

Why doesn’t he pick out his own outfits with input from u?

[@heather9130]

@@jengiolando4159 He doesn't want to get dressed at all, so when I offer clothing the answer is simply no. Whether it's outfits or separates. He likes prints with trucks, dogs, and bright orange, so I'm taking him shopping to pick his own clothes asap! Hopefully that will make him excited to get dressed.

[@paulaplantita8458]

I've read somewhere that they dress up their toddlers in the evening and let them sleep in those clothes so that's one less struggle in the mornings!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks so much for sharing! One tip you could try with the clothes is letting your little one get dressed in their day clothes the night before. This leads to one less change (as for some kids clothing can be irritating to wear) but this can be tricky if your little one is a messy eater and gets breakfast all over their clothes. Also, it might be worth thinking about what clothes he tends to like to wear (for example what material are they made of, are they generally loose or tight etc). As I mentioned for some kids certain clothing can be irritating to wear (think about what you hate wearing - it's like that), so if you can figure out what they tend to like it can make the getting dressed part a little easier.

[@EyeLean5280]

"Yes I'll get them, but the cookie is for after dinner" gets everyone's needs/desires met. My kid never once threw a tantrum.

[@Klb7589]

Because you give the kid what he wants everytime.

[@Corinabs]

Saying no and not giving into tantrums means your kid will find healthier ways to communicate their wants and needs

[@yoshetteyoshi]

I bought a book dated from 1925 full of articles written by women for women. One of the articles was about disciplining children. It explained the concept of redirection and child behavior. It had a quote by Ralph Emerson: “Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” This video is interesting too. Getting rid of conflict before it even starts and remaining calm are super important in successful parenting.

[@eggiesammich]

Yes, i love that you mentioned offering two choices. Not only is it empowering for the child, but it also disrupts their fixation on the thing that they initially asked for, because they now have to think about their decision.

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

My mom had a lot of deficits and, overall, was a pretty bad parent…but she had her moments, and as I learned from all of the support she did bot give, I also learned from the few things she got right. We were out shopping. My younger brother demanded a candy bar. My mom said, “no,” and my brother proceeded to go into a tantrum. My mom then calmly started talking to him. She said, “I know, I know not getting a candy bar is tough. It is hard to go shopping without getting something you see which is not on the list but that you want, isn’t it.? He looked at her, tears in his eyes and agreed. They then discussed how we get the things we need, which is good, and she pointed out all of the things in the cart which he agreed, we need. And then she talked about how sometimes we get the things we want and led him into a conversation about all of the things he had ever gotten for Christmas or his birthday…or things our relatives had given him for no apparent reason other than it was just a gift. There was no actual tantrum that day, just a bit of crying. Of course, she had to repeat this.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks so much for sharing❤️

[@zuvv5866]

Why would you say she’s a bad parent? People these days are so ungrateful

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

@@zuvv5866 i understand. Be thankful that you have the freedom to think this.

[@elpink5424]

@@zuvv5866 So, just because a parent does one thing right that suddenly exempts them from all the bad things they could have done? Is that how you think? She could've beaten them, constantly lied to them, been a drug/alcohol addict, let other people like a step/grandparent abuse them, been a narcissist, favored one child and neglected the others, etc. There are so many cases that come out about child abuse where everyone on the outside thought that it was a "perfect family" until the kids said something that led to CPS getting called. It seems to me that people nowadays are actually so assumptious, arrogant, and entitled. You don't know this person's whole life story based on one KZbin comment. Just because YOUR parents may have been saints, it doesn't mean that EVERYONE'S will be. It would do you good to not assume and stereotype such a large group of people. Having intercourse, getting pregnant, and then pushing out another human, does not suddenly change you into some being that can do no wrong

[@sea1574]

@@elpink5424thank you.

[@madelinevance8954]

There’s a channel called Hey Shayla and she says that one thing she does with her toddlers in play pretend. Like if her little girl asks for a popsicle she says “Okay, here’s a popsicle!” And she gives her a pretend popsicle. And the kid just accepts it.

[@ismaeljrp1]

yeh, kids are just like us grown ups. You gotta figure out their personality and what works. My kid would throw the pretend popsicle in my face with a look of disgust. But it's cool that it works for someone. We just gotta be open to ideas and at least try them out a few times before moving on to the next idea.... most of the time, the child just matures and grows out of things anyway by the time we approach a working model. Kids change dramatically week to week, month to month.

[@OlgaFyodorova]

That's what I've always done. And what worked best with my daughter was telling her my plans in advance. Like: we're going to the store, and we'll only buy milk and bread, nothing else. That made it easier for her to shop without getting any treats.

[@WhatIsSanity]

This kind of communication only works when it starts from the beginning of a parent or guardians relationship, and said relationship is healthy. Kids already used to the temper tantrum cycle or with serious behavioural issues due to trauma or neurodivergence will not stop their raging until they are too exhausted to continue. Now before we get ahead of ourselves some disclaimers. I'm not saying kids with behavioural trouble are immune to reason and *I am not* advocating for punishment behaviour or retaliation. Children that exhibit extreme behaviour at the drop of a hat and won't heed a word of reason no matter how many times you try need therapy for an underlying issue. For help not to fix them like a broken toy, and a parent struggling to effectively communicate with their children will also benefit from therapy from a psychologist. That is what psychological therapy is all about -teaching us how to have healthy relationships with ourselves and the people around us. That is what the plug for this video should have been, advocating for therapy to be more accessible to struggling parents and children. Instead of trying to make children normal and functioning in a broken world we should repair our broken societies. When parents drag their young children to the shops they are bored and out of their comfort zone so they latch onto whatever engages their dopamine receptors, toys and sweet foods marketed specifically for the young. Parents should if possible include the kid(s) with the planning of the shopping trip so they understand early on the benefits of structure, make day to day living a part of that structure and familiarity rather than something they get caught up in against their will all of a sudden. We can also advocate/lobby for better regulation on advertising to protect children from predatory marketing they are too young to understand and ignore. Hell point it out to them, that's what my dad did. Stop grocery stores from piling bloody chocs and sweets at checkouts and other measures that make having children out in the community safer, healthier and more positively engaging again. There are so many layers to this video and example alone I have issue with. The focus is on the children and how the behaviour stems from them, but it is not entirely the case in reality. A holistic approach to behavioural therapy allows understanding on a broader context and can target not just our own behaviour but that of others and our environment when developing strategies to manage said behaviour. Especially in the case of awareness of how our environment affects us, and what is or isn't in our control. It may seem obvious but actively considering these things helps greatly. Knowledge is power after all and don't we want to empower ourselves and our offspring?

[@anoldranger1575]

When your child keeps asking and you've already said no so many times, it helps to say something like, "Do not ask again. " in a very stern voice, so they know you mean business. Worked for me.

[@sams9181]

This definitely doesn't work for all kids, unfortunately.

[@anoldranger1575]

@@sams9181 Following up with consequences if they disobey is a must.

[@sams9181]

@@anoldranger1575 Doesn't work for all kids either....

[@doctormoobbc]

"disobey" is a strange and specific word to use. They're trying to figure something out and get their needs met. Breaking a boundary isn't disobedience. Telling a child to not ask again, while convenient for the parent, is akin to telling the child to ignore and bottle up what they're feeling. You can still say no, but you can help them understand why you're saying no and work through it together. Empathetic connection, not obedience/disobedience which minimises the fact they're humans too, not pets.

[@laura108]

That example specific - don't go grocery shopping when they're hungry, always give them something to eat and pre-empt that issue. Yes, they will see things they want, and you're just walking around grabbing stuff so why can't they? Involve them in the process, and allow them to choose something! They're little humans just trying to learn how to be humans (that said, I'm currently blessed with a child who's favourite treat to pick in blueberries so I wouldn't say no anyway... although it was tempting when they were $14 for a punnet, I just talked about the price and that he could get 2 punnet of strawberriesor 1 punnet of Blueberries and he was so happy to choose for himself)

[@Cyberdyneskynet]

We have 5 kids and I've said no over and over and over and they cry for a bit I've only had them throw tantrums a couple times, and I left them in the aisle they were having a fit on. They come running trying to find me later lol And I say are you okay? All better now? I also say yes a lot to their little requests like for a cookie 🍪 and that's totally fine w me, unless we absolutely don't have any money. In those cases it's fine: it's a great balance. You give them a treat at the beginning of the shopping and they are in a good mood the rest of the time.

[@paddlefar9175]

Try to think ahead when shopping with Children. Feed them a little bit before you go out or stash a snack for them to eat in the moment hunger hits them. Never buy things from the racks at children’s eye level right by where you pay for your groceries or it will be a constant battle. My brother would emphatically say “ Oh, that’s not for us! I can’t have any of that stuff either!” to his children when they first asked. They seemed to accept that, because the parents never wavered from that explanation.

[@Ayverie4]

Lying to your kids is never the way to go either. "We're only here to buy the things on the list" works just as well. Why do parents make up weird lies that their kids will inevitably find out? Do they think this has no impact on trust?

[@paddlefar9175]

@@Ayverie4 How is, “ it’s not for us” when his family never eats that stuff either? I get your point though and it’s a good point.

[@katemiller5990]

Love this! Kids can handle everything so much better when we show empathy and gentleness along with the boundaries.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Exactly

[@OzoneMe03]

Some kids are easier than others!!! It’s amazing when you get to witness these different behaviours.

[@chmntr]

Thank you! As a mom of a 17-month-old who is now starting to show more feelings, I needed to understand her language more. ❤

[@isabiryefarouk7531]

Thanks Emma. You are helping me alot as a new parent

[@EmmaHubbard]

You're so welcome!

[@bibliophilelady6106]

My son doesn't go to tantrum mode over things he wants, he does it over things he wants to DO, which is everything all by himself. Lately he wants to "hold his own hand" when we leave daycare, as in clasping his hands together rather than holding mine. I end up tossing an angry kid over my shoulder because we are not walking in a parking lot without holding hands. Stay strong, moms and dads!

[@abbyralson]

My 2 year old son thinks holding his own hand is good enough. 😂 He only throws tantrums for the same reason -I’m riding him and he feels like I’m not being fair and letting him do what he wants to do. Usually it’s something like seeing the potty before we leave the store. I build in time everywhere we go so we don’t have to rush and he’s happy.

[@HopeAbigailDayan]

I wonder if clipping a dog leash to yourself and telling him you need him to help you not get lost in the parking lot would work?

[@beautybread6855]

Little children's feelings are very fickle and change with the wind. They want one thing now, and when not given it, they persist. But when you stand your ground for the wellbeing of the household (I don't want my children personally to feel like they always get what they want, and I also want to limit the number of toys I buy), you are choosing to not let the children take charge. Giving into a child's pleas too often can lead to a worse attitude as they try to pressure you into listening to them 100% of the time. Children are sweet, but they also often want what they want, and it's my choice to try and train my children to find happiness regardless of if they are getting a new toy or yummy food. I want contented children who are already reasoning with themselves, "Is this food or toy a smart choice, or should I consult mommy first and let her weigh in?" If I train my child to be centered around making every desire a reality, I will have a very poorly behaved, selfish, unhealthy child, both physically and spiritually. Absolutely I want to make them feel special and loved, but if my child is publicly, loudly making a power play with me over mere items they want, it's time for me to discipline them and correct their attitude with a loving heart.

[@chantelled7710]

Clearly a fellow Christian with that language aha.

[@vincentbynumbers]

I'm always amazed when these approaches actually work on my almost 2 yr old... alternatives have helped so much. Or even just justifying their want.. and yes, even giving in right away. ❤

[@abbyralson]

It’s treating them like a human and showing them to regulate properly. That’s not a skill many people have, sadly.

[@gabbadd5840]

Most kids have an inner sense of entitlement and wether we say No! or engage in a philosophical review of of their needs and want, until they grow out of their self centered perspective they will throw tantrums . Hence we should choose what feels good to us..

[@XionUnjust]

Thanks Emma. Always a good refresher when our 2 yr 8 month old had big feelings almost everyday. Makes it tough with a two month old as well. Thanks for your vids!

[@1247rimini]

I had strict boundaries with my child and a routine for outings when we went somewhere new she was too shy to test boundaries. I thought I had this parenting stuff sorted until my grand daughter came along wow what a completely different child. I have to console her so much, Award winning actress for sure. I’m instantly exhausted everytime she starts, how do you mum’s find the energy?

[@ptbot3294]

Pick the battle you can win. The bonus is giving in to your child from time to time feels good in itself.

[@oth4ever32]

Thank you Emma! Your videos are a refreshing change from the news. Thank you for offering productive and optimistic strategies while parenting in an ever distressing world

[@EmmaHubbard]

You're most welcome! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying my videos 😀

[@lisadoodle9949]

I discovered your channel just in time when I had my baby girl in August! I've been binge-watching your videos ever since. Thank you for the great content!

[@EmmaHubbard]

I'm glad they've been helpful! Congrats on the arrival of your little one 😀

[@NightOwl222]

Can't wait until my child is three! The twos have been very tantrumy. It's been tough...😢 Comforting sometimes helps from tantrum to develop further.

[@tianamarie989]

Be consistent, dont offer an apple instead of a cookie if you said its too close to dinner. That means it wasnt about how close to dinner it was. Your child will see the inconsistencies.

[@Uncommonsenses]

My daughter understands my ‘no’ is an absolute. She also understands that tantrums have swift and immediate consequences. However she also knows that the instant she gets herself under control I am always ready to forgive and move on. She is in control within parameters that I have set and consistently enforce.

[@peace5647]

This how parents USED to be… especially when there was NO money.

[@mommybreakdown]

I was just saying this yesterday while watching a Supernanny video on KZbin. Great overview, thanks!

[@TheElleification]

Emma... as a new mom. I love you and your channel so much! Thank you for all of this information!

[@ffrreeddyy123456]

My parents didn’t have parents growing up and they were born in the early and mid 50’s, no water electricity, our house, 12 people family in a shack in the country. My parents don’t understand this concept or these concepts and I am trying to learn myself now. I always have but these are the types of things that they need to see to be healthy and hurt their loved ones cuz they think their loved ones are against them for being human and reacting naturally and habitually.

[@erinloi]

Thank you 🤍🤍🤍 I have an 18 month old yes the tantrums began just after 12 months. thank you heaps

[@EmmaHubbard]

You’re welcome 😊

[@lisaphares2286]

It seems this can be avoided by giving your child and yourself a banana or apple and some water before going to shop. Hangry is real and it’s best to plan and have a solution with you.

[@imlivelaffluvvson]

“You’re probably gonna say yes anyway so just say yes right away.” I finally get it now. I had passed this video so many times because the title and the thumbnail looked strange to me to read together. But the idea is that you don’t train them to tantrum because you bypass the first no, haha I can’t believe it. I somehow have trained my girlfriends and family and nephews and cousins and friends to know that when I say “no thank you” you should then save your energy because I won’t even open my mouth a second time if you start repeating yourself. And I’m 25. But parents can’t avoid training their kids to throw tantrum la any other way besides giving in to their requests immediately?

[@TheAndreagza]

It was great to find your channel when I was pregnant with 6-month baby, now 2 years old! You have helped me a lot since she was a little fetus hahaha!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thank you! That's wonderful to hear :)

[@inmate0054]

I’ve learned I can sit there and just where my kid out with no and just wait till they have tired out. That’s one way. But I’ve also learned. A good pop on a bare leg speeds that wear out process quite quickly. Then we can talk. Or another is to some how change his attention to something else which can be very difficult but once that clicks he does what he needs to. I do all of these things

[@poweroflove2932]

Great advice!!!

[@jayfloramusic]

Good one!

[@LenaLovesgoodStories]

I find that really "staying calm" is often very hard for me. I manage almost always to stay calm outside but staying calm inside is much harder, don't you think? What helped me is the realisation that "pretending" doesn't help. you cannot coregulate emotions as long as you are emotional yourself. Children have very good antennas and will see through the pretense. Thus, if we are upset, embarrassed or whatever, we have to find ways to calm ourselves first. My current strategy is leaving the room for a moment and telling myself that my daughter is not screaming at me she is screaming because she is frustrated that she cannot have X and that is not personal and that I am doing really well. That takes about 30 seconds. Then I can go back calmer and be there for her. 😊 The good thing is: if we set an example of managing your own emotions instead of "turning to stone" your child can learn from us that emotions are ok. It can be whatever helps for you - taking breaths, singing a silly song, drinking a glass of water, even stomping your foot 😅. Whatever helps to get calm inside. Additionally, here's something really interesting a coach recently said to me: anger is energy. If a lot of frustration (=energy) has built up in the child, it needs to get out. The only way that the child knows is screaming and kicking etc. However, you could also offer alternative ways like running around in circles or offering your hands for a play wrestling match or even tickle them or whatever. My first thought was "isn't that the same as distracting them from the emotions?". But they said that distracting would be something like "you're angry you can't have X so take a cookie instead". That's what we want to avoid because it doesn't help solving the energy. Finding other ways of venting instead of throwing a tantrum is the opposite of distraction. It's like if you're angry you could go running (energy out) and truly feel better afterwards or eat crisps (distraction) and be more miserable. 😊 Hope it helps some of you. Keep it up. Every parent knows how hard it is. And please don't be ashamed if it happens in public. My experience is that strangers are almost always kind and understanding to us when we're sitting on the floor in the supermarket 😅 the ones judging us are mainly ourselves. ❤

[@rachelnelson8518]

What do you do with a “high wants/needs” child? My oldest is constantly asking for things throughout the day - “can we bake cookies?” “Can we go to the park?” “Can I paint this?” “Can I have a friend over?” She has a hard time playing independently and seems to always want high-fun activities… it’s exhausting for myself and for anyone caring for her (babysitters and family have commented on how much work she is to keep entertained). If I let her do something fun, and a younger sibling wants to jump in - so I find them a fun activity - she often decides she likes what they’re doing more than the activity I got out (that she asked for) she will immediately go to their activity and take over. If I don’t get out the activity she will POUT and tell me how boring her life is 🤦🏼‍♀️ what. Do. I. Do?! I feel like I’m always clipping her wings but i cannot support painting and parties daily!

[@OzoneMe03]

Video def will be helping me on my new baby. I used the method of explaining things of why I have to say no and although it calmed them down for a while, 5 years into the future, my son is the kind of boy who when I say no, he literally says, “but-- this this and that,” and proceeds to explain to me why he needs it and refuses to take no for an answer. Behold, the most persistent child that will have you pulling your hair, out and debates you on 80% of things. 😢

[@janvan4424]

My 6 year old grandson is like this too

[@dannijohansen7508]

As a primary school teacher I aprove this message 🙂

[@saleenapiano]

I don't have kids, but I've taken care of them. So for whatever it's worth, I have found that toally ignoring the tantrum quiets them down quickly. Just don't respond. Also their attention at that point has been diverted from the issue at hand. If it's a legitimiate request, once they're quiet you can deal with it in a rational manner. Also they will learn very soon that tantrums accomplish nothing. And btw, the parents of those children sometimes said, "I don't know what you're doing, but my child has been asking for you all week." I realized that they probably appreciated having boundaries set

[@That_Awkward_Mum]

I've just hit the 'Subscribe' button on this channel. Really appreciative of all your advice. ❤😊

[@EmmaHubbard]

Awesome! Thank you!

[@michelleamatulle6378]

I use the distract method when she doesn’t stop being persistent and I’m tired. That usually works. Another thing that worked which is similar to this video, is saying to her, I know u want that toy right now but maybe u can earn it. Let’s see if you can xyz this week and maybe I can get it for you. Not sure if that’s ok to do but it calmed her down and I avoided a scene in the store.

[@Darkbillhook]

This doesn’t seem counterintuitive at all. It’s basic communication rules - if someone is upset you validate their emotions and offer empathy, without breaching your own boundaries. Eg if a friend asks you to help them with something and you can’t, you say no and you likely explain why at least briefly. If they get upset, you say sorry they’re upset / validate their feelings and offer comfort…but you hold firm on the no and you don’t keep going over the reasons which ensures the boundary is still in tact. Same for kids 🤷🏼‍♀️ Also keeping calm and validating their feelings teaches them that you still love them when they’re angry and upset which will hopefully make them more likely to come to you with bigger problems in the future.

[@lindalaw5466]

What ever you do, be consistent. If you say no mean no, even if you have to leave the shop and have nothing for dinner.

[@Puppylove82-gv3gm]

The grandparents need to watch this too. My parents just dont give a crap and do whatever they want!

[@zahrab2221]

Hei! I totally understand this strategy and believe it works wonderfully. But I have a question. From what age should I consider applying it? I have a 5 months old and I know him crying means he has a need. But sometimes he wants for example to be carried but I can't do that at that moment. He cries and cries and I finally give in fearing that he might get anxious if I don't. I appreciate your answer ❤️

[@tylerbakeman]

Thought this was a video for teaching kids to be pushovers (I was confused, but what a fun video that would make too)

[@0511Austin]

I try to time our shop for when a snack is ok and my kid knows we get a chocolate milk for the walk home on our shop. If a snack really catches their eye like a cookie, and I don’t want them to eat a whole cookie, unless there’s a really solid reason to say no I say we can get it if we share it. I like supermarket snacks too.

[@gypsymiller3683]

1979 - 4 yr old who had never had a tantrum decided to throw one in the grocery store and would not communicate normally. I picked her up, left the cart in the aisle and walked out of the store. She asked "where are we going? " Me "home". She says "But you didn't buy any food!" Me " That's right. I'm not going to try to shop if you are yelling and crying". She says "I won't do it anymore" Later, she tells me that she saw kids in her preschool act that way and thought she'd try it. She never did it again.

[@muminab9701]

Love your videos! 👍👍👍

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks so much!

[@rzawistowski33]

It's I'mportant do say yes occasionally, not just because you're gonna give in anyway. You can always delay dinner by 30+ minutes to give your child a treat. Will it throw of the evening, maybe, but its a moment for them to get something they asked for, maybe if they've been especially good that day.

[@DutchessForever]

Use the Premack principle! First dinner , than a cookie! It works beautifully!

[@ineedhoez]

I was about to go off!!!!! But yeah... when my nephews ask me for something, I stop and ask myself if I really feel like holding this boundary. If the answer if the answer is no, then I let them slide. I truly believe that r-culture exists because no doesn't mean no. I've been saying that for 15 years. No, is the starting point for negotiation. I create consequences for continuing to ask after being told no. There are consequences for attempting to violate boundaries. The consequences vary, but the worst is a spanking. I've literally never had to physically discipline them. I set out belt on the door as a reminder. Every time they think about asking again, the belt is there to help remind them😂😂😂. Mr. Spanky is a friendly reminder that no means no. I am going to be screwed, if they ever decide to test me. I can't imagine ever actually spanking them. I am soft AF, which is why I have to be so strict.

[@MizriaHex]

I'm a FTM and my daughter just turned 2, she's getting to that stage of "I want everything I can't have" but she's not verbal yet, which has been the biggest struggle in trying to take action during tantrums. If only I could communicate with her so she can listen/respond I feel like your system would work wonders for me! But since she's non-verbal when I try to tell her something like "No you can't take your coat off outside" or "No you can't go outside now, but we can go after lunch" she just doesn't understand what I'm saying. Do you have any tips for dealing with tantrums with non-verbal toddlers?

[@UofTguy]

My 15 mth old had a nasty tantrum this morning that lasted about 30 mins, which is what brought me to this video. Unfortunately, she doesn't understand the verbal reasoning tactics mentioned in the video. I'm not sure how to console her and effectively end the tantrum when I can't reason with her. Any tips for baby tantrums?

[@randomness051]

Make what you are saying simpler. 15 month olds understand basic words

[@amandatyler]

It's so hard when the tantrums start before they can really communicate! When my son was 18 months old he started, and really what helped us was modeling ways to manage those big emotions - I'd sit down next to him and say, "I'm feeling mad, I'm going to take a deep breath" and do so, or I'd get a stuffed animal and talk to it like I'd talk to my son - "What can we do when we feel angry? Let's take a deep breath and count to 4." Just be there for them, model healthy ways to redirect their emotions, and communicate as best you can - they understand a lot more than you think even if they can't speak themselves yet and they learn by watching you! Also, I'm sure you've heard this before but having a routine and offering your young toddler choices when you can ("point to which snack you want," "do you want to wear red or blue shoes today?", "what story should we read?" etc) will really help minimize tantrums - a lot of the time tantrums happen because toddlers feel out of control or unable to express themselves. I hope this helps! I'm not an expert, just a mom to a strong-willed toddler and a former preschool teacher 😅

[@er6730]

Teaching the signs "all done" and "more" really helped reduce tantrums for my toddler before he could talk. Way less frustration, and instead of just screaming he could try to help me know what he was asking for. Also, consider that it might be due to needing a change to the sleeping schedule, as an overtired toddler is a sad and miserable creature.

[@er6730]

Sorry for double dipping here, but just wanted to say that tantrums, especially in toddlers, aren't really a bad thing. They're unpleasant, but not an emergency or a reason to get worried. Just big feelings in a small body that's trying to sort out its functions. Just like in physical rehab after a paralysis, the person learning things like walking or fine motor skills can get mad out of frustration over how hard it is to learn, toddlers are doing that too. I used to be a little bit afraid of a screaming kid, like maybe I was doing something wrong. But often there's nothing to be done except say "you are upset. I will carry you to the living room now. We will read a book. Come." And pick up the flailing creature as gently as possible and remove from the scene. No real need to talk about it, either during or after. In my experience of three kids, the tantrums faded as the words appeared, except in certain situations like leaving the playground, where again it's just the pick up flailing creature as gently as possible and exit strategy. In my experience, there was an increase in tantrums from 1-2, age 3 was a VERY mixed bag full of ☀️🌸🌈 and 🌧️⚡🌩️ without a dull moment, and by age 4 tantrums were rare and extinct by age 6. I tried to set things up so my toddler could do things alone, and teach things like wipe a spill, get a cup and put on a coat (they have to be pretty steady on their feet before doing this, but they LOVE it - I think it's called the Montessori method for coats. It involves a parent setting up the coat on the floor and then the child sticks both arms in and flips it over his head. Great fun, and hugely satisfying for the kid) Mine seemed calmed by feeling like a competent helper. (Of course all the help made things slow and inefficient, but I was playing the long game)

[@yourmichigangarden]

In my opinion it is going to take more than one time for the tantrum time to decrease... This time it is 30 minutes but next time see if you can reduce it down to 29 minutes, then 28 minutes, until the kid is only throwing a fit for 1 minute. This is just an example.

[@nicholasroberts7838]

What's the philosophy on compromise? Something like, "I know you want the cookie, but you still need to eat dinner, what if I get it for you as an after dinner treat?" Would this defuse the tantrum or do you think it would just shift the focus of the child's frustration? Does it come down to "I'm hungry" being the reason they want they cookie or the I'm hungry being the solution to getting it? Are there any tips you have for divining which is which? I'd think it ideal to answer your kids question, and not thwart their problem-solving but I also think it's important not to be dishonest just to get what you want from people. Should you just try and save reasoning with your kids til they get mature enough that going back on some words won't confuse them? "No becauses" sometimes feel like a puzzle to solve and not just a No with extra words tacked on and I think this misunderstanding can cause a lot of friction in the parent-child relationship.

[@janelschorr]

Your content is always super helpful! I didn't realise tantrums can start as early as 14months. Mine has one every time we need to put her into a high chair. Is the strategy different for younger toddlers?

[@EmmaHubbard]

It's the same strategy. It can be helpful to find out why she isn't a fan of the high chair too and see if you can make that transition a little easier. For example, you might need to give a longer warning or let her bring a faviourite toy to have a meal with her (sit beside her while she eats).

[@janelschorr]

@EmmaHubbard Thanks for replying! I try all three in rotation, some meals it works better than other. If it really persists to full blown meltdown I sometimes just hold her and feed her a smoothie type snack so she's atleast getting nutrients in

[@rosemarie6347]

My daughter started 13.months

[@erinhyer2030]

You want to make sure the highchair is a good fit (I think Emma has a video on that important fact.) Kids have a very hard time eating if they are uncomfortable sitting ... for example, an appropriate foot rest so ankles, knees, hips and jaw are at 90 degrees ... that way they can focus on their task ... eating and not have to be 'distracted' or 'annoyed' by their posture. This is true for all kids, but especially younger when they are just getting the muscle strength, stability and endurance to sit up and eat. I'm sure Emma covers this all in her video, just as I have learned working with very young children, too. Best of luck.@@janelschorr

[@user-wr8ky4od2p]

My daughter started to refuse high chair when she was 13 months and we moved her to a booster. She’s 15 months today and really likes the booster chair. Also, when she started to refuse high chair we didn’t force her. She would eat on my husband’s lap (only for couple of days until we got the booster)

[@yanit.863]

Thanks for the input and tips. But I don’t find acknowledging my daughter’s emotions when she’s having a meltdown helps at all. She keeps crying and losing it when I say no, acknowledging her feelings and and trying to hug her and say I’ll be there for her. She’s in complete “lost it” mode and absolutely nothing works to calm her down unless I show a screen or something which I’m refraining from doing. Do you have any other suggestions or tips??

[@Muninn801]

One time my toddler was having a meltdown and I decided to let her work through it instead a trying to redirect her with a distraction. At first she rejected a hug but I stayed calmly firm in my position and after several minutes she finally accepted a hug and then calmed down. Probably took 15min of crying. Be willing for it to take longer. Good luck!

[@BlueChrome74]

I hadn’t thought of giving in to a tantrum, so the thought of giving in earlier is a new thought. Along that vein, would it not be a more beneficial thing in the long run to give an option like, “you can have 1 cookie now, or you can wait and have 2 later” to teach delayed gratification?

[@OlgaFyodorova]

I'd say it's too advanced for a toddler. Just decide, if you feel like you can agree, better agree early. And if it's definitely no, stand your ground.

[@EmilyFainman]

Distract, be calm and point to something else, or let your kid keep the toy in the store and then leave it at the cash. Chances are your child will dump the toy or item an idle or two later. Remember attention spans are real low at that age. If they have a meltdown do not give in or get mad, try and ignore it and move them on with a distraction, rotate a toy, start a song, start playing a game, make a big deal about your surroundings and become the distraction, these all work.

[@PlainsAyu]

My baby is just 14 months and she always screams when she wants something and always gets her will in the end. Should I try to control that at this young age as well or wait? She is too small to understand reason.

[@simonejohn7500]

Hi Emma u made a comment helping me about my baby eating solids in Your last video I tried your tips and recommendations but it still didn’t work am so frustrated all my 11 months wants to do is have his bottle he only eats here and their he’s very healthy and thriving and is gaining weight but he refuses solid an worried 😢

[@behemoth5344]

This works well with cats, too.

[@DZ-eu4pj]

Like I always tell my husband, our baby can do no wrong 😂

[@raleighnoel]

Anyone else notice Emma and that monstera looking so good over the years. Very healthy and glowing!

[@EmmaHubbard]

🥰

[@Oompa_Output]

I don't give in, and when they ask, I make an animated unhappy expression and tell them I don't want to. They now ask before the store. And to this, sometimes I agree on a picked treat..

[@CrimsonEclipse]

The problem with saying yes when I'm exhausted even if it not a big deal with me. It's usually mu husband who has to make a big deal about everything even if it is minor. My husband is totally different and causes my kids kicking and screaming even if I would give the kids a cookie anyway and he also start giving me stress over the issues. Like everyday my husband argue with out toddler and 4 years old over minor things like getting an extra story, getting a cookie. I told him to stop arguing with the kids and he complain that they don't listen to him and how they need to know he is in charge. He also complain the kids only misbehave because I'm around and yet he complain to me about the kids misbehaving when I'm not with them and he was watching them. I don't usually have this much trouble with the kids alone because they usually will do what I say with a cookie bribe. But my husband doesn't want to give them treats because he thinks they will get spoiled and have unhealthy eating habits.

[@Apolinariah]

I hear you. I’m sorry 😞 I know dealing with a partner who has different parenting ideas or non at all is hard. I share these type of videos with my husband. We also attended some free parenting sessions provided by our community. I also try to have chats (or better texts) about my expectations for parenting and what I think is best in a long run, when the emotions are cool. We still butt heads in the heat of the moment, but I do see how slowly he is coming around to the more sensible ideas.

[@Kira-kg4kl]

My mum always used to say yes but you can have it for desert as its nearly dinner, or if it was a toy she'd take a photo and say we will add this to your birthday or Christmas list

[@rincure]

Being calm really works …. I try and remain calm and then try and distract my 2 yr old to something else …. I show him huge ceiling fans and something else …. And he instantly forgets what he was asking for 😊

[@agaagata84]

❤ very wise, I love it, absolutely agree

[@lucaslimal3]

My mother would just smack in the ear and tell me to suck up my crying. Oh God! How I love my Mum!

[@laurabiancadragomir7354]

❤❤❤

[@gemmac2719]

My 11 month keeps swinging the mirror in the hallway. I can tell you knows he is not supposed to. I say no and move him away but he always go back.. what would you suggest? Remove the mirror or persevere?

[@EmmaHubbard]

I would try and tell him what he can do. For example, he can pat the mirror and then model patting or look at the mirror and then direct him to another activity. He should get it with time.

[@sallypalmer1616]

My son (2years) only has tantrums when I want something from him that he does not want. Like putting on clothes, brushing teeth, getting into the stroller to go home. What would be the best way to avoid those kind of tantrums? often I do have to force him and then I have a fullblown meltdown

[@Puppylove82-gv3gm]

Take him off to the side somewhere and ask him if he wants to "talk" about it. I've started doing this with my toddler.

[@masterchief5437]

Or say yes to buying the cookie but you are going to have to wait till after dinner :) teach them logic and patience

[@etaokha4164]

Yesterday night my son couldn't latch on his milk because his nose was blocked , he is 1 and started crying loudly like screaming because he couldn't latch on milk I stayed calm and didn't give in because he kept watching me to react so i tried again to make him latch , he felt frustrated and continued crying I told him we're going for a walk so he calms down. Immediately i put his shoes on and said Lets go , this kid was all bubbles 😂. In my head I was like ( didn't he just threw tantrums to bring the house down? ) But anyway I also think kids get bored indoors alot so i took both to the park that evening

[@rattananuon5516]

My 2 years old son would cry non stop and doesn't accept my hug even pushes me away. It's not easy to do as recommended in the video. 😢

[@igorthelight]

Psychologist needed!

[@marian11235813]

The best is just keeping children outside of a shop and allow to enter when they are 18. Full grown adults usually don't have tantrums for cookies.

[@DOLCEKAY-ny3ig]

Wow you would think this is easy. I always think about how I felt when I was a child and how feeling neglected or unheard spilled into my adulthood. Just give the cookie and make them promise to eat dinner to make them feel special. Who cares if they don’t finish dinner. The kid is hungry now not 30 minutes from now

[@morefiction3264]

I abandoned a full cart, picked up #1 son and carried him out of the store screaming in my ear when he made a tantrum about an expensive toy in Target. He never had another tantrum in the store again.

[@adiviswanath]

What to do if your wife does this?

[@andreasjsn]

Same rule applies. You need to consult her parents and find out why they allowed her to throw tantrums. Also, you need to start wearing the pants and let your no be your no... If all else fails, it's never to late for a spanking.... Well, only if it's legal in your country.

[@Kingatje]

​@@andreasjsn😅