Why Your Anticipation Creates More Anxiety And How To Stop

[@shaydlens]

Man it is the worst. I’ll have something as simple as a dentist appointment and have anxiety about it all day and it’s all I can think about that I have to be somewhere. Every day before work my gut is filled with anxiety and it’s purely about HAVING to be somewhere at a certain time. If I’m choosing to go whenever I have no anxiety.

[@Blondie727]

You’re not alone. I can’t sleep the night before ANY appointment & get filled with dread when I have to be somewhere. Nothing bad happens yet I can’t help it. There are times I even had to cancel my appointment & that’s one of the most defeating feelings.

[@shaydlens]

@@Blondie727 Sorry to hear! Mine isn't from fear, it's purely just the thought of having to be on time for something and knowing I physically have to be there. Or if I work a job with lots of phone calls, I get anxiety of the anticipation of the phone ringing - but I'm completely fine when on the phone.

[@what-di3vb]

i’m glad i’m not alone. the anticipation of knowing you have to show up to something is the absolute worst. there’s nothing worse than an appointment, school or work. it’s the reason i haven’t been able to work yet, knowing i HAVE to show up or there will be an extreme consequence gets to me so badly. being there is another story, it’s amazing compared to the anticipation.

[@vaishnavxd649]

@@what-di3vb Please let me know if you find a fix, It's so hard living like this. I am 17 and have this sh#t and it doesn't allow me to do things that other people consider normal and my family doesn't know what it's like nor have I told them. It's a damn curse like bro how do we get rid of this... I also get that heart sinking feeling every time maybe it's my time to do drugs or have a drinking problem because man.

[@what-di3vb]

@@vaishnavxd649 honestly as a 17 year old too i literally have no advice other than look for help on other ways. don’t go to drugs or alcohol, because they truly don’t help. imagine finding a possible solution but having to spend so much on that solution, keeping up with your tolerances, spending, feeling, body, there’s so much. i’d advice to look for doctors who genuinely care about offering you a new solution that they gave you AFTER listening to everything you have to say. please just don’t go to alcohol or drugs it’s really not good or worth it. life sucks even more when you get addicted.

[@mommabear1471]

I literally just realized that this is my biggest issue.. just listening to your video here literally made everything better for me and probably changed years of terrible habits with anxiety for me.. thank you so much for this ❤

[@CalmlyCoping]

You're welcome! I'm so glad to hear you found my video helpful. ☺

[@georgiaminigoldendoodles]

It feels like I'm going straight down a roller coaster..... That flip feeling that's painful in my belly..... But it's nonstop for weeks.... It's exhausting. I can clearly find logic and calm my mind but the belly flip continues until the situation has resolved...... Anxiety is one of the worst feelings in the world. Residual unused natural fight or flight instincts completely take over any sense of reason.... Once it passes then comes the " hang over period"

[@CalmlyCoping]

I can understand that feeling think you did an excellent job of describing it, Skyla. Anxiety can be really uncomfortable. I think you'll find my episode with 6 easy tips to calm your mind from anxiety helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYi6nainrtypqq8

[@sarahoakes5843]

I really struggle with anticipatory anxiety before travelling anywhere worrying I haven't prepared or forgotten something or not packed enough. Thanks for saying that's okay and offering a few tips

[@f50koenigg]

This crazy, i experience this almost every day. Always anticipating the worst about my future. Its really tiring, as well having a depression doesn't really make any better. I tried to act like normal, but it deep inside Im constantly at war with myself.

[@sadiaahmed9148]

I do overthink in anticipation. My heartbeat increases and so does my stress levels. When I was on Zoloft, such feelings were numbed and I felt more control of the situation and myself too. Now I'm off Zoloft and I miss that control.

[@Mpxyzm2by]

Go back on the Zoloft!

[@ilksengermanotta]

My therapist diagnosed me with this . For 2 months I’m having this everyday . First two weeks were the worst I couldn’t even talk because even talking was triggering my anxiety. I couldn’t eat , eating was a trigger too basically everything was a trigger still kind of is but not that extreme .then I went to a therapy and I’m still going it got better and I’m taking antidepressants. But for the last 4 days I’m bad again. I was happy that it was almost over but for 4 days it’s been hard . For 2 months everyday was like hell and still is . There were no reason for this at all it started to happen when I was in the bus trying to make it for a movie . I am always late and I was kind of anxious being late again and I had a panic attack in the bus and ever since then I’m afraid of it it feels like every minute I’m gonna have an anxiety or panic attack so I have it .because it’s been 2 months I learnt to be not afraid from it but physical effects they are draining me . I get dizzy all the time I have reflux I feel nauseous I’m so tired all the time my heart keep racing fast and I have a bad gut feeling everyday . I’m currently trying to move to another country for studies but I will be alone that scares me too. I wish I didn’t have this . My life is like hell. I was supposed to be happy. I worked so hard to be able to study abroad for two years . And I’m wasting my last two months in my bed . I keep canceling plans . I don’t know what am I gonna do at the airport 3 days later . It’s gonna be so hard to leave my parents and my boyfriend. I really tried to go out as much as I can but it happened again and again at this point I’d rather have it at home by myself . I don’t want to ruin my friends night . It’s like hell. I know that my brain is playing a game with me and there’s nothing to worry about I try to remind that to myself everyday when I wake up but it’s keep happing .

[@CreativeCats-qy6yc]

This may be happening to me, cause I had a really bad stomach ache on a car ride recently, and now I’m so scared for car rides. I have to go to a theme park tomorrow, and I am so desperately scared. I actually went on a walk yesterday, and my stomach couldn’t stop shaking. I honestly don’t really know what to do, but I will try your tips.

[@CalmlyCoping]

I'm sorry you are going through that! It's great that you have been able to identify it and I hope you are feeling better. ❤

[@Rasstamouse]

I have had the same thing about 6 years ago I had gallbladder attack in a traffic jam. I was on my own nowhere to go and felt trapped. Its such a hard thing to go through as it affects so many aspects of your life afterwards! I'm alot better than I was. All i can say is you just have to do those journeys and slowly you'll forget. I know its easier said then done but it's the only way I found to slowly overcome it bit by bit. I'm Still not perfect I cant go long distances alone. I can with my wife but no alone. I hope you get over it soon.

[@majorpotato1901]

Just wanted to say thanks. 2 years ago I was large in in charge - This past Tuesday I had the shakes so bad that I couldn't stand. Appreciate you working to help folks out.

[@CalmlyCoping]

You're welcome, thank you for your kind words! You're definitely not alone.

[@icoachp]

The Sunday Scaries! Yes! This was another great listen. Thanks!

[@CalmlyCoping]

Thanks so much James! The Sunday Scaries are definitely no fun!

[@Losercarnist]

It’s is a dull feeling pulling at me. I am constantly months from now sometimes a year from now. I’ll come up with my coworkers not liking me or going to make it hell for me. Etc but it’s usually not the case!!! No events happen. Tranquility deficit on point.

[@CalmlyCoping]

Thanks for sharing your experience, I can definitely understand the feeling. Recognizing those patterns (and realizing they aren't true!) are the first step to changing them so you're on you're way there. ☺

[@centralctbench6843]

I’m going through this now. Had a panic attack quietly when I was with my cousin for no reason and it was dreadful. She had no idea but when I got home I told her why I may have been acting weird. Now, for months I’ve been avoiding hanging out with her in fear it’ll strike again. At first it was just a little anxiety at the thought of hanging out again, now it’s manifested into total dread and fear of even thinking about it. I run different scenarios in my head and all are bad. The thought of making plans and having to follow through I feel like I’ll go crazy just thinking about it now. I feel like I’m going to puke or pass out or freak out just being around her now. And this is only with her and no one else. The fear of another attack when with her is taking over. Ugh!

[@CalmlyCoping]

I'm so sorry to hear that! I think it might help to identify what aspect of the situation is causing this anxiety: is it the fear of what she will think? Is it something about being around her that makes you feel anxious? Is it worrying that this will happen again? Then once you've identified this, journal about it and reflect on the worst-case scenario given what you're afraid of, how likely it actually is, and if the worst does happen, how will you cope with it? I like to use this exercise to help put things in perspective with anxiety. I hope things get better for you in this situation! ❤

[@cassidyv588]

Thank you for these tips!

[@CalmlyCoping]

You're welcome, Cassidy! I'm glad they were helpful for you!

[@cjss-yg2lz]

About to start therapy because I started a relationship with someone I really care about. Ik I have bad anticipatory anxiety and trust issues but I don’t want to let this get in the way which has prevented me pursuing other relationships

[@CalmlyCoping]

That's great that you are taking the step to start therapy! It can really help with decreasing anticipatory anxiety and working through relationship trust issues.

[@derekwallace2278]

Ah ty I'm struggling worried about future can't stop thinking negatively 😢😢😢

[@learner782]

My brother has anxiety...how do i help him to getrid of this....plz help

[@Riu-bw4bl]

I had this so bad i had to get on medication to even be able to think about doing these things to help. This kind of worrying almost ruined my life

[@deesworld7872]

🙏🏿❤️❤️ thank you for the video really helped

[@CalmlyCoping]

You're welcome, Dee! I'm so glad it helped you!

[@Tamtudy]

Interesting thoughts! Thank you. Especially resonating was the topic that more relaxation is needed to battle restlessness and anticipation anxiety. I would like to add a few words that can help others like me: I practice yoga, meditation for months now (I do it for years but its more ON/OFF) and I still struggle with anticipation anxiety(AA), I also go to psychotherapy for a half year now, once a week and both tools are helping me to realize I have AA, and at the same time, it does not help me with AA. So what helps me? Short answer: Thai-box. Long answer: one hour of any demanding physical activity/once a week. I remember the first time, when we finished, I left the building and when walking on the street of our city, it hit me - my mind felt like it was wiped clean like someone hit reset. I felt an incredible lightness of being, my mind was sharp and restlessness was completely gone. So my recommendation to you: in combination with meditation, do something physically hard for you. Something that will tire your mind and your body. Go jog, do thai-box like me, hit the gym. Good luck to you all, sending good vibes

[@CalmlyCoping]

I love that suggestion, thanks so much for sharing! Physical activity can definitely make a big difference in getting out anxious energy and providing you with a positive focus to take your mind off of worries and stressors. I'm so glad that's been helpful for you, Dohnny.

[@FromTheHood2TheWoods]

Every time I have a flight in the morning, I get zero, I mean zero sleep! Thank God for Xanax

[@alexjohnson653]

what i have isnt anything that's coming up it's an action i would never do and it keeps coming up in my mind as a fear as a action of this it is causing me to have ocd where i find reassureance knowing i wont do it or like it and that turns into just right ocd( by that i mean so other thoughts dont pop up while ik the real me) and false meory ocd where it tries to confuse your feelings all of this is cause if anticpatory anxiety i can give an example but this isnt an example that is personal to me (say you have the fear of blowing up a school or something) and you constantly worry about it knowing that's ot the real you and you know that scenario WONT EVER HAPPEN but it's in your mind for a bit but i'm realising myself (stop focusing on the bad focus on the good) cause why would you need to constantly worry about blowing up a school that wont ever happen cause you cant bring yourself to do that so focus on the good. and what would would actually happen

[@timmyn8575]

I get it anytime I know no have plans like a concert coming up or a doctors appt. I end up cancelling the day of and then disappoint people. I never had this until the pandemic hit. I worry what if I can’t sleep the night before and I take sleeping pills. I then lay there all night and then feel drugged that day and can’t function,

[@CalmlyCoping]

I'm sorry to hear that Timmy, it sounds tough, and I know the pandemic triggered mental health struggles for a lot of people. It might help to think about what specifically is making you anxious about these events. You might also find this podcast episode helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/poa8d5J8gsdoiqc

[@noctispark1831]

Thank you!

[@CalmlyCoping]

You're welcome! Thank you for your comment!

[@sifugurusensei]

I've always anxious, but in one day, I'm moving to another state. And ironically I got a date with my co worker and I'm sure if she just like me platonically or in a romantic way.

[@CalmlyCoping]

Sounds like a lot going on at once! Best of luck with your move and your date!

[@user-kg5lq6nd7q]

So was it platonic or romantic?

[@timvonallmne]

i have all these Symptomes, das crazyyy

[@Luigilr]

I struggle because I wait for 31 years

[@assassinskiller503]

Oh my God I have all the symptoms Except panic attack 0_0

[@CalmlyCoping]

You've got this!! Awareness is the first step to making positive changes. ❤️

[@assassinskiller503]

@@CalmlyCoping Thankyou so much for the video🙏

[@jay-arnolarivera301]

i need medication ...

[@CalmlyCoping]

Medication can absolutely be helpful for those who need it. I would suggest going to your general physician or psychiatrist so they can help you and assess if medication will be helpful for you.