Why Your Mindset Is RUINING Your Dating Life (AND HOW TO CHANGE IT!) | Courtney Ryan

[@LuisRamirez-ln3cj]

Whenever I meet a new girl, I use this mindset. I'm like, "if things work out, great! If not, I bet she's going to come around when she gets to know be better. And if she doesn't, I have like 5 other girls that want me." However, this approach wouldn't have worked in the past because I wasn't getting much attention from women. I only appeared on their radar after losing weight and making a few grooming changes. Thanks to your advise, I can honestly say I'm a great catch now. And I'm still in the building phase.

[@jonathanengland6525]

GOOD SHIT MAN

[@ricardogalindo8794]

Happened to me too, dropped 75 pounds, got into jiu-jitsu 2 months ago, and I'm traveling and socializing more. I'm getting flirted on more by women, difference is! I don't F'ing care anymore and I don't return the "flirt" back. I'm too into my career purpose, I'm a special ed teacher, and too into trying to progress in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and my physique, I was obese 4 years ago and trying to earn that 6-pack. I want to have the classic martial artist body. LoL I also want to be the first in my family to earn a black belt in a martial arts.

[@dorkga1092]

Great comment and good for you! Making these kinds of changes to your life is not easy and it's awesome that you feel that confident in yourself right now. Keep going!

[@DatGrunt]

I worked from home for about 5 months then came back to work and lost around 150 pounds in a little over 10 months. Went from 320 to 166 pounds. Changed my life around. At first I did it to date again, but about 3-4 months in I stopped caring too. My confidence and self esteem is still kind of low, but I'm just focusing on me right now. But it's crazy how much things have changed. Women flirt with me a lot. Like a lot. It makes me really nervous and uncomfortable especially at work.

[@LuisRamirez-ln3cj]

It's great to see that others have made similar progress! Our hard work and sacrifice is paying off and hopefully you're all having a great time with girls who wouldn't have given you the time of day in the past. But flirting is important... Practice as often as possible. In the past I was afraid of making a fool of myself by saying a bad joke or something stupid, but I have learned that even if I screw up, a girl will forgive and forget almost everything if she's really into me. Be bold and girls will love it.

[@immortalom8556]

“There are no mistakes, only lessons” is what I tell myself whenever I feel like I’ve lost an opportunity. It is only something that helps me improve upon myself in order to do better next time.

[@visaman]

"We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents." Bob Ross

[@DarrenChen]

The quality of the comments and content of Courtney Ryan's videos are staggeringly high!

[@LisaFenton-h7f]

THANK YOU. Very well put & useful!

[@ulisesandrade6060]

Thank you Courtney, after being rejected by a girl who I thought shared the same feelings and ended up ghosting me after the first date, I’ve been trying to forget about her because is not healthy and I need to understand that she did not feel the same for me. I’m working on my goals and mindset

[@CourtneyRyan]

👏🏼👏🏼 you got this

[@garmisra7841]

You can't really tell very much about anyone and how they feel from one date, one kiss, or even one hookup. It takes time to get to know another person. Sorry you got blown off or ghosted, but it happens all the time. But you can dust yourself off and get back out there...there are many people who will enjoy your company, and even some who'll be interested in more.

[@duanebacon9296]

I recently had this happen as well. We will be okay.

[@beautifulspirit7420]

@@MakeMoneyOnlineWithEmma because we can't control our feelings? Only how we respond or what we do (or don't do) with those feelings.

[@beautifulspirit7420]

@@MakeMoneyOnlineWithEmma you may be able to control if you act or doing anything about your feelings but if you feel angry for example, even if you outward demeanor is like the Godfather you still experience anger. Feelings are neutral, they just are a fact of life.

[@efoster1998]

I’ve been struggling with this for awhile now. Thank you for talking about this!

[@CourtneyRyan]

I think it’s something a lot of us struggle with! I know I’ve been there before. It’s my pleasure, thanks for being here! ❤️

[@holygraehl4009]

"If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you will always have less." I really like that quote. Thank You for the video, Courtney!

[@yawhan6828]

Courtney, you’re creating a community that is helpful, understanding, educating, and regardless of women or men, you’re helping us becoming a better human. Thank you

[@CourtneyRyan]

Best compliment ever 🥺 so glad to hear this. Thank you! ❤️

[@dkeith520]

I'm kinda in a scarcity mind set because the kind of girls that I want are not interested in me yet and the girls that are attracted to me currently are red flags. Right now the only thing getting me through this struggle is knowing that it will not always be this way because I'm actively looking to better myself and look for better options. For all the guys out there, don't commit too fast. I made that mistake recently and I ended up losing a girl that was not worth committing to but one I could have still benefited from.

[@LearnGermanwithMarzipanfrau]

You're so right. There are many people that are compatible. If a relationship doesn't work out, we give other people a chance. We'll be in love again.

[@Moshm4n]

"There's no such thing as 'the one'." Thank you. I've been saying this forever. There are no soul-mates, no meant-to-be's or any spooky stuff swirling around in the air playing matchmaker for our benefit. The Aetherlings have nothing better to do than mind control people into falling into each others laps... get out your healing crystals, everyone... right. No. If you don't get off your ass on the couch, "the one" won't bust down your door. They'll just find someone else.

[@visaman]

In theory though marriage is supposed to be "one and done."

[@Moshm4n]

You're right, but the critical issue is you need to already have someone you're getting married to first-there isn't a "future wife" out there for me; they don't exist. It could be anyone for all I know. If I'm on the couch and haven't put myself out there yet, my "future wife" isn't missing out on anything.

[@MrGamerAsian]

I wish I had someone to give me such great pointers growing up like this, A lack of parental figures especially ones who show virtue in their relationships and goals really sucked never too late to make a change though

[@marcopadilla3139]

My struggle is not that I won't find anyone, I haven't even had someone in 29 years 😥😥. Since I was 12 I had wanted to have a girlfriend, I quit seeking for one around 24. Never kissed a girl in my life, it's over.

[@angelica5813]

Nooooo don’t give up!

[@Hugh_Hunt]

Brother, you are simply pitying yourself for what you have not had. Love yourself and women will notice, stop checking them out and start ignoring them. Your energy is pushing them away because your feelings are like poison to your eyes and mouth. Your saying dumb shit or looking with puppy eyes. Maybe... Hope that's helpful brother.

[@frunny1]

I’m also 29 and being single but had some success in last years. Hold on

[@taylorproductions3708]

You gotta be okay with being single bro. Been single for a while myself but Im at a place where I couldn't give a rat's ass about relationships. You need to elevate yourself,better yourself,be one with yourself. Yes there may be lonely nights but dont give up. When you achieve self love you will be able to attract others that are capable of loving you

[@genon2]

You should read the book "Models" from Mark Manson. It totally blew my mind

[@davidcosdesign6785]

"At the end of the day, everything starts with you, and any other relationship can only be as healthy as the relationship with yourself." Very wise words. Back in the day, another saying was "Happiness is NOT getting what you want, but wanting what you have. Keep up the great work.

[@trumpetplyr21]

Great advice, Courtney! I think online dating has blown up this problem of “scarcity mindset”, especially with men. We don’t get nearly as many matches as women do and as a result, that feeling of “oneitis” can easily make an appearance when men do get a match. I think we just have to remind ourselves that online dating is only ONE way to find someone, rather than the ONLY way.

[@beloglavisup2]

And, in reality?

[@freiza79]

Actually, I find your videos encouraging. You put it best in stating that instead of being yourself, being the best version of yourself

[@jcampbell461]

Courtney is the big sister that us guys needed

[@Truekaruminmr]

Facts!

[@Andr3tt16]

Recently I found myself carrying this scarcity mindset, along with a few other traits that weren't helping me at all with dating. But, a few things in doing now to change are deleting dating apps & giving social media a break. Taking time out to learn more about myself, along with new hobbies & catching up on a few old ones. Plan on dating again when I'm ready 😊😊😊 Thanks for the motivation ❤️❤️

[@JohnBrown-ig5nc]

This was definitely eye opening. I never thought about the scarcity mindset applying to so many things but it does

[@adnanerochdi6982]

One of the timeless videos I've come across, that everyone should watch. The one mindset can steer one to a wrong path without their own awareness. So, thanks for enlightening us with this.

[@brandondavis6450]

I just have no desire to date anymore. I'd rather be enjoying my hobbies and spending time with family and friends.

[@guitarchris4775]

This is the biggest lie you tell on yourself, we are men and need women. Of course we can live without women but it sucks. Hookers and escorts are no solution.

[@Romazho]

It's really rare to hear, the "one" doesn't exit. I agree with it. Keep it real!

[@Altairego]

Courtney always seems to drop videos right at the right time, I was literally thinking about this today, I've been improving my mindset and I've got one girl who I've been hanging out with, I was surprised to see that she has a similar mindset, although, I'm not sure if we have a physical attraction and we are just more on friendly terms. Either way we are taking things slow and steady, getting to know each other. However, I was thinking I need to see more girls gravitate to my auric field with the same energy that I am putting out now. Courtney you're like the Female AMS, no lie. GOAT status loading...

[@grecojones]

Though I agree in general. It’s tough if you have some natural limitations. Like living in a small town or advancing in age.

[@CourtneyRyan]

It is if you’re viewing them as limitations! 😂

[@GEORGIOARCADE]

A big WORD to this Courtney ✊🏽♥️ I think it all starts with the words that come out of our mouths. One thing i was told recently is what we say is what we become. So let those things be positive. We have to speak as tho we already have we want. Not everyone have it easy and some have to work harder. There's still hope for all of us. I can see what you saying about finding "the one" I believe there's people that fit well with us. We just have to want those people. Thanks for your wisdom and i wish you a great day

[@CourtneyRyan]

👏🏼❤️ you got it!

[@theelvensong4328]

Hi Courtney! I’ve been watching your videos and I want to say thank you. You’re a lifesaver! Having the abundance mindset is very important because it is the right outlook on life. We are created out of abundance. I’m moving towards the abundance mindset and I do use a couple of strategies to help me. First, I have positive self-talk. When I talk to myself, I tell myself that I can do it. I encourage myself and problem-solve optimistically. Second, I practice affirmations and what I believe is true. For example, I tell myself that I am the head and not the tail, that I am above and not beneath. That I am blessed coming in and blessed going out. I tell myself on what God says is true about my life. This is what I believe and I do it in the mornings and on an as-needed basis. And third, as your video covered, I want to be the best version of myself. To invest in myself. Finally, I believe in my life, that there is a guarantee. It’s kind of like having insurance. I tell myself that no matter how bad my life can be, I know that God still loves me, that I have a hope and a future if not in this life then in the next, that I have salvation. These strategies help me in having an abundance mindset.

[@mikeafflerbach8792]

You are so down to earth and straight forward. I really appreciate your videos. Thanks Courtney.

[@Sonnedude]

Seriously the biggest thing for me was focusing on myself and trying to improve myself and become more secure in myself.Once this happen, the women whom I was friend-zoned for over a year asked me out on an “official” date. Now we are married with two daughters. Always strive to be the best you can be!

[@cristoballopez2764]

wow how did you get out of the friend zone?

[@Sonnedude]

@@cristoballopez2764 lost 60 lbs, focused on myself and my life. Matured emotionally, which made me more secure in myself, which she noticed (and was the biggest factor). She felt secure in me now that I was secure in myself. Also I learned to say “no” to her, and be honest about her makeup and the way she dressed and looked. Also I started to dress better myself.

[@cristoballopez2764]

@@Sonnedude Nicely done👏🙌. I guess I need to be more secure for myself and yeah saying no. But she has a boyfriend and I kinda move on.

[@Sonnedude]

@@cristoballopez2764 it’s hard to move on, but once you do and focus on yourself to improve yourself, there’s a possibility she’ll come to you. However that specific relationship ends up, just remember that there’s plenty of other great women out there. Focus on being the best man you can be, and the right women will notice. Good luck to you brother!

[@mamc1986]

I don't think using the term "Friend Zone" is such a good idea. Its going to make more men confused, and most of the time, nobody "gets out of the Friend Zone", because many times more often than not, men cannot tell the difference between lust and love.

[@jjhh320]

Moving from scarcity to abundance was like developing superpowers. My confidence had never felt so genuine. I think one of the simplest things I did was to never say anything even mildly deprecating about myself or my opportunities. Even if there is a beautiful woman who I tell myself in my mind that she's 1000% out of my league, the simplest thing I can do is never say it, never acknowledge it, and treat myself like I'm equal. Even if it doesn't work out, who cares? You approached like a man and held your confidence.

[@JohnDoe-pf6qp]

The vast majority of women find the vast majority of men unattractive. Dating, for most men, is actively wasting time and money trying to convince a woman that doesn't actually want him to settle for him because the guy she actually wants will never commit to her. For average men this is not going to be a fun experience for him. An "abundance" mindset sounds great, but the reality of dating for the average joe is scarcity. You will have very few opportunities, and if that's what you're really trying to get you do need to make the few you get count. I think the better path forward isn't lying to yourself about abundance, it's building a life in way that if you don't find anyone you'll be content. As more and more men are priced out of the sexual marketplace it's going to become imperative for men's psychological health to learn to be happy as singles.

[@WheresWaldo05]

So to break it to you but looks aren't the first thing women look at or go after in a male. Not even the 2nd or 3rd. Sorry to burst your bubble but it's your personality why women don't want you. Has little to do with your looks. #truthhurts

[@JohnDoe-pf6qp]

@@WheresWaldo05 By all data women are more focused on looks than men, and more unrealistic about their standards. Even if that were not the case, oh well.....

[@Yeahbruh200]

For real my guy. Literally 3 women have been interested in me in my life time of 20 fucking years and they were ugly as fuck. If I can't attract hot girls, than I'm not going to get married or laid. I can't be with someone I'm not attracted to, so I'll either wait, or it just won't happen. I really don't care at this point. The guys getting the hot girls aren't the average dudes. So us average or below average guys have to settle with ugly girls, or give up. It really amazed me the girlfriend's I see of people I know. Very unattractive man.

[@johnnoeth2191]

You must jack of a lot ..and thats cool

[@johnnoeth2191]

Get your ass to the gym.. throw down and when the results come... you call the shots..

[@rijubhatt8366]

I realized that you are truly proactive towards reaching your life goals. You can perform a clean handstand also. It is displayed in one picture on Instagram. My respect for you has increased.

[@80HD8]

Yes, this is my mindset. It's been 54 years of being told I'm no good and a looser and have no value. Not easy to change that mentality overnight.

[@matthewdunn5229]

Thank you for sharing this. Admittedly, this is something I have struggled with for quite a long time. I remember whenever I would meet someone who was a potential partner, I would usually say to myself that this could be my last chance so I can't afford to mess this up... And then would swiftly proceed to mess it up. LOL. I have matured since then and I'm slowly beginning to unlearn the mindset that I was never good enough. Thanks to these videos, I have made changes in my life and I'm actually going back to school to pursue a new career I am much happier for it now. Thank you again for sharing.

[@isaacting1301]

I'm glad that you admitted to having this mindset, Courtney! I was actually just about to ask if this mindset could apply to women too. Trying to break from a girl who has the scarcity mindset is frustrating.

[@adambusenlehner3689]

I'm 58 and have been a loner my whole life but still find your videos entertaining, Courtney.

[@josephjilek2229]

Being organized and clean starts the abundance mindset. Neatness always counts. My personal challenge.

[@jasonbeyer915]

Hands down you have the greatest voice and descriptive way explaining your magic and connection. You are such clean beaiftul energy.... gongatutations

[@PawPie92]

“It’s out of my hands, but I’m still in control, It’s out of my hands, you can never take away the power of my soul.” - Dr.Disrespect I was just listening to that song and is perfectly describing the video! What a day!

[@antonboludo8886]

Yes, living in scarcity is not good at all. Do not be a scarcity-minded simp who settles because of fear of being alone. It happens far too often. There is nothing lonelier than being with the wrong person. Better solo than in the wrong company.

[@markcoolen]

Totally agreed. There are no perfect people, just different flavors of imperfect ones (who balance you out).

[@TheHornet1fan]

One of the best ,if not THE best video topics ,I have ever heard. This is a concept, I had never considered, and guilty of in several aspects. Not anymore. Thanks you for bringing this up.

[@TheOgreMan]

Before I watch the whole video: I think I know where she’s going with this. End of video: Yes! I was right but so much more. This was actually very helpful for my mental state. I’ve been working on accepting myself for who I am and loving myself for who I’ve become and the great things that I do have, but it is very easy for me to fall back into the scarcity mindset and just feel depressed about what I don’t have. That mainly happens when I’m alone in my room. I try to get out and do stuff with family and friends because they are what make me feel joy

[@kinginfinitygod2077]

Excellent video you’re right I’m still learning things about life and everything that comes with that! I turned 30 last month. That’s what I will work having a abundance mindset think you for your advice and insight.

[@erisunflower]

I’ve been watching your videos recently and I’m blessed to have found your content/channel ! Thank you so much, I’m trying my best to be a better ‘me’ every day. I’m also working hard to achieve my goals, it’s hard but I’m sure it’ll be okay. :) I unfortunately have damaging parents where the roles are swapped (my mom being masculine and step-dad a little too....feminine) and their relationship is just not healthy. I felt like my whole life I needed to be masculine but when really it was just a mask for survival mode but being a young lady, I’m glad I’m starting to find my true feminine self and will continue to do so. Much love to you and thank you ☺️

[@AbhishekPatel-si7uq]

The most realest video I've seen in this genre. Thank you Courtney! I'm sure this will help a lot of people.

[@07wrxtr1]

08:35 - At Bats - Here's the thing. The guys that don't have a lot of 'em over think the few that they do have. If you're in sales, it's a numbers game. More calls = More discussions = More sales. Dating IS verymuch like Sales. If you sound Desperate: YOU NEED TO BUY THIS NOW!!!!!! chances are, that's how you're going to come across and that person will give you the "I need to think about it." So who cares the least usually always wins. Talk less. Let THEM do the talking. You sit there and listen to UNDERSTAND, not to Respond.

[@pviau90]

Thank you for making this Courtney! This is so needed for every guy to put into practice. It’s a life changing concept for sure!

[@Shadowdragon_TV]

Why is your voice so soothing? LOL Love the videos by the way, learned a lot of things from them.

[@noisydrift5903]

U just saved me,you're so. Real,thank You so much,you're a life savior,may You be happy all the way!!!!

[@zazugee]

as someone who really only get one dating chance IRL per year, i'm glad i didn't fall into this mindset, even if i'm an anxious person but in most cases i noticed the differences between me and the girl and that it won't work and it really didn't either i turn her down or she does, or i push it to the point where i made her dislike me online i had many dates, and i also learned to accept rejecting and rejecting what i don't like the more someone learn to know what they want and how to select others the better

[@RT710.]

Like you said: mindset can ruin your WHOLE LIFE! It’s so important to first be aware of your mindset, and then learn to have control over your mindset & actions. That’s the key to modern life in a tiny nutshell

[@themistoclesnelson2163]

Thank you for introducing me to the scarcity mindset.

[@AHHamid]

what shall i say.. m speechless.. courtney i listen to you and i believe you

[@DominiqueMarsell]

You are absolutely right and correct about this Courtney and applaud you for trying to reinforce the notion of a positive mindset... still, there's a reason why the David Lee Roth version of "I Ain't Got Nobody" has resonated with me since I'm 10 years old.

[@capitalistpig8956]

"Always do your best don't let the pressure make you panic" - Tupac Shakur that guy really inspires me to try my full best in the dating scene seeing that he got lots of women I look up to Pac and I always keep an open mind when it comes to dating women if she doesn't reciprocate anything then I can easily move on knowing that I deserve better and if a girl reciprocates then alright bet I'll give her a shot and see where it goes if we click we continue and if not gotta move on so all in all I thank Tupac and his music for giving me a better mentality nowadays and I'm only 19 years old so I got a longgggg way to go in life so let's make this shit happen and btw Courtney you're the goat when it comes to making dating videos I'm really glad I discovered you a long while back you also changed my life with certain videos and I hope you keep up the amazing content and wishing you lots of luck no doubt you'll get to the top 🐐🙏🏼💯

[@Jarthewolf]

I completely agree that the “One” doesn’t exist. I feel there are multiple people that can be a good fit for you and vice versa, when it comes to the dating world. If you constantly keep trying to find “The One” you will limit your dating so much. Very well said Courtney 👏❤️

[@moonknight4053]

If you think about it this way though, the one you end up dating and then are in talks about having kids with one day, becomes the one lol. I had that epiphany awhile ago, made me nearly faint bro

[@rino7789]

I live by the adage that in this world there are a million things you can have and a million things you cannot have, but guess which one most people work on and obsess over!

[@tangbein]

I´ve found that you need to view dating as a sport. By viewing it as a sport you only become oriented after what works and what doesn´t, and you become better at taking rejection not personal.

[@jakejudy5455]

Mindset is one thing location is another. Sometimes you got to change your environment

[@MasterREB]

All of the great Courtney Ryans out there are taken, that’s why I’m going to be Forever Alone! 😭😭😭 Don’t have this mindset guys. Become a better version of yourself and who knows who you’ll run into. 👍

[@monkeytrollhunter]

This is so wholesome. 2021... I graduated, got a job, lost weight, getting in better shape. My next goal is to develop healthy and productive hobbies that are enjoyable, be nice to myself, and taking care of myself

[@Truekaruminmr]

I was dating a woman recently and I had to turn her down because she smoked too much and wasn't my type. Watching this video again helps me cope with dating. Thank you for making this video Courtney. 🙏🏿

[@vova32123]

Had my vocal coach get me out of that mindset and I bought a car and started living abundantly! 👏

[@jaymedalbeth6962]

I really appreciate your honesty in all of your videos lovely Courtney! Watching from New Zealand ❤️

[@guitarchris4775]

Mindset is based in you personal result, most of man are average and not so attractive. But this is one side of the coin.Sometimes is based in our mind, what we belief and fighting for.We have to belive in ourself and becoming best version of self. Most girl wait to be pick up. Of course look money and status matter. But with some work to our body and personality we get result. The Game is tought. But we had to do this. Great video Cortney !

[@markd2555]

Good video as always. Unfortunately for me scarcity isn't a mindset as much as it is the reality. It's literally years between dates for me.

[@MyLostYouth]

Thanks for telling the truth, she & other females can't begin to comprehend that there could be such a reality for men (years between dates), 'cause for females they can have a date everyday/ any day!

[@markd2555]

Well Im not saying its the definitive overall truth but its definitely mine. I have friends that don't believe that statistic or don't understand how that could possible but there it is. I'm just not attractive to women that way it seems , never have been. It is what is , what can ya do?

[@jonbrown7962]

This brings me back to something I read, “People who spend too much time fantasizing about the wonderful future that awaits them don't have enough gas left in the tank to actually get there.” Whether or not you see yourself lacking or ‘having room to grow’ is a glass half full/empty question. Either way, might be best to just look at what you can do today to take another humble step towards the kind of self improvement you’ve been putting off. So don’t think about what will be, think about what’s next.

[@Las3r_Cat]

I just broke up with a woman who I've adored for years a few weeks ago. We only dated for about 8 months or so, but we'd known one another for almost 7 years. I truly appreciate your channel and the way in which it helps me stay grounded though all of this. She may have been one of the mist beautiful women I've ever had the pleasure of talking to, but we're done now and I have to focus on my job and myself.

[@ZoneTelevision]

Finding someone who agrees with or compliments the way you think is exceptionally rare among intelligent people especially as they get older.

[@sahilblayson3801]

Wow, really needed this. Thank you, Courtney!!😗

[@brandonjpj1]

Great advice courtney. I greatly appreciate your feminine perspective on dating for us men. I stopped living my life to date and focused on msyelf and have had good results after escaping the scarcity mindset in re. to women.

[@hetarthkamdar8707]

Courtney, thank you 😊 🙏 I want you to know that you are playing an amazing part in me turning my mindset, my life around ♥ #respect

[@Yeahbruh200]

scarcity mind set is absolute key people. Most women find most men unattractive. Guys date down, and get girls they aren't attracted to. So basically you only have a limited amount of options.

[@ferretapocalypse]

I’m 57. I’ve pretty much given up. I’m not attracted to women my age. And I’m not rich, so……

[@garmisra7841]

It's cool bro just do your own thing Freedom is also something to be valued. you ain't got to discuss or get consensus on anything you want to do Go to Vegas, go to Canada, go golfing, trekking, fishing, learn guitar...

[@masongraham5771]

I love watching your videos. I am 24, and new to the dating scene and listening to your advice really helps. I am working on being a better, happier version of myself. I’ve watched this video a couple of times to remind myself not to have scarcity mindset. Currently working on that. Thank you and keep up the great content!

[@CourtneyRyan]

You got this! So happy you’re here 😊

[@arthurmorgan2906]

"Get busy living or get busy dying" that's goddamn right

[@peterpwn9558]

The selection of women on online dating platforms will shatter any illusions of an abundace mindset pretty quickly. They usually are more...abundant than in their profile pictures, though.

[@calebray4168]

Online dating sucks, I’ve always been heavily disappointed by them, but I’ve always been surprised/impressed at the girls that I talk to irl.

[@peterpwn9558]

​@@calebray4168 So you're now in a long term relationship/married?

[@calebray4168]

@@peterpwn9558 lol no. I didn’t mean that comment as rude, like I’m telling you how things are because “look at how great I am”. Just my experience so far. I still have online dating profiles but I’ve had zero success, look like shit in pictures and have kids so I don’t really have a chance on those apps. Irl people actually find me to be good looking, imagine that’s.

[@peterpwn9558]

@@calebray4168 No, I get that. I feel that same disconnect between online dating and what people tell me. Still single, though. So either they are full of shit or there's no eligible single women around, which brings us back to scarcity.

[@calebray4168]

@@peterpwn9558 we all need to get out more is the problem. Sometimes I won’t go out for a while but then I will, and I’ll have the right attitude and all of a sudden I’ll see there are women everywhere and although I don’t have a ton of successes it just shows you that there IS an abundance of women it just takes more leg work than swiping, which literally takes no leg work.

[@opaman7518]

True. But I'm a GEEZER now. My physical health is poor & getting worse. No positive cash flow. Looks are poor even though I'm dressed well. Been lost from reality since Covid -19. You hit the nail on this one. Your so young yet wise. Take care. Be safe.

[@oscarjohansson4994]

"The're no good women left" I would say there are rarely any good people left at all, sinse we all live in a world where being selfish is the best way to survive. And that makes every generation more selfish, not only by the social contruction, but allso genetic, sinse women are atractive to status and men are atractive to ideal beauty. And people pick parters based of this. And sinse status in a world like this is reached through selfish behavior, that makes those genes easyer to pass on. If we all accept the fact that we all have instincts that makes us without knowing acting like idiots becouse the world is suited for selfish behavior, then we can learn how to not listen to our gut when it comes to partner picking, but to our brain. Becouse our gut do not have a moral thinking. It only thinks of selfish ways to survive. At any cost. Even if it means reprodusing psychopatic behavior.

[@billdestroyerofworlds]

I hope she's not attacking the "this sucks, I need to fix things" mindset, because that mindset is extremely useful.

[@chrisrobinson8040]

Courtney you look very dashing! that top goes very well with your skin tone and the painted nails look excellent! Great advice btw!

[@albertcadiz7000]

Thanks Courtney. Am just working on myself now.

[@blackwhitespace1113]

I found out that it's pretty hard as a foreign to approach girls sometimes, Can you do a video about it? (Italian in Ireland here, struggled a lot even with perfect English 😞)

[@Kjertinge]

Girls are going to love your accent so you get bonus points right away 😋

[@blackwhitespace1113]

@@Kjertinge it's wrong dude, otherwise at least 1 out of my 10 approaches should have worked out

[@hamzarahman5086]

I really liked this video Courtney! Made me re-assess some of the thought processes I have. Glad I watched!

[@adamhenry1456]

That mindset actually does ruin my dating life. Because of it I never got the chance to date any girls in high school and I just started dating at age 20.

[@adamhenry1456]

@P dot I feel that

[@cindyau542]

You are right, i tend to have this mindset so every night i write on a carnet positive affirmations

[@pap4539]

Some things that help with this in general are meditation, and gratitude lists.

[@jeremiahmorris1852]

It's easy to main the power positivity when you're not constantly being rejected left and right

[@brentboost2879]

Amazing how AMS has changed the lexicon of modern dating.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Does he talk about the abundance mindset? 👏🏼

[@kc270352]

@@CourtneyRyan many times lol

[@brentboost2879]

@@CourtneyRyan All the time. Im not sure if he was the one to actually coin the phrase, but he was certainly the first person I heard use it and that was a couple years ago. I always followed that line of thinking but once there was a term put to it i truly adopted the abundance mindset as my overall attitude. If I crash my car, I'll get another one. If I hate my job, I'll get another one. If my best friend screws me over, I'll get another one. If my girlfriend cheats on me, I'll get another one. If a girl rejects me on an approach, I'll get another one.

[@midjet156productions]

Since I was a baby every single living being I've ever met has literally tried to murder me including my own family members. over the years I've stopped worrying about anything and while it's made dating as well as basic human interaction virtually impossible it has given me the insane kind of confidence to do whatever I want to without any hint of fear. Another thing my bizarre life circumstances has given me is the constant need to improve myself mentally and physically driven by the intense paranoia from a lifetime of near death. After surviving 25 years my thought process is basically "if at some point I meet a girl that doesn't try to kill me, actually likes me, and I too like them alright then but if that doesn't happen well so be it." There's literally nothing that can be done to change the homicidal reaction my existence causes but I just try to move forward and continue living the best I can when I have knives flying at my head or ambulances running me down and so on every single day of my life. I'm not sure if any other average person would have survived 25 years of my life but for whatever reason this is the life I'm supposed to live. When I was born the doctor tried to kill me and every day since if another living being is within 10 feet of me they too try to end my life and once they're far enough away it's as if they don't have memory of doing so.

[@GeneralZeroOfficial]

This is interesting to me. I've though about this a lot before. My question is: What do you do when you know that you'll end up alone? There used to be a point where knowing that hurt, but now it doesn't. For a lot of people scarcity is and will be reality no matter what they do and a lot of people will end up alone. Here's what I do knowing my relationship status won't change: 1. Evaluate what you have to offer and understand that it should take a damn good person to earn being a part of it. 2. Continuously evaluate women you are dating instead of trying to impress them. Beauty is just a facade. 3. Have a "Take It or Leave It" attitude. Reclaim whatever power you have and refuse to give it to others who haven't earned it. 4. Stay true to yourself. Don't let others derail you from your path or who you are as a person. Only let you define who you are. If others expect you to change for them then they are setting themselves up to lose you.

[@mzdroj4776]

Good news, my friend - you "knowing" that you will end up alone is just RACIONALIZATION of your hidden emotions (hidden from you, to be exact). Your brain creates selective look on the world, which corresponds with your emotions, thus you "know" you will end up alone. E.g. you see only people, who really ended up alone, not those who didn't, etc... One other thing is the "deathbed" - if that's the case, then yes, there is a 50:50 chance you will be there without your spouse. My question to you is "is fear of dying alone worth not living those preceeding 40 years in a happy and fulfilled relationship with someone else?". Are you focusing on how "your death will look like" or on "how your entire life could be like"? Dying is necessary, don't bother about it, Living is optional and nobody forces you to actualy "live" - it's totally up to you. I can bet that on a deathbed, you will regret only things you didn't do. Racionalization have also side effect on you internal believes - you believe, you will be alone and it can negativelly impact your dating life - knowing you will end up alone, you are unwilling to commit, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rabbit hole is deeper than one might say... From my personal point of view, I would regret spending my whole life being alone, rather than spending last year of my life alone. From your buller points, you seem to me, that you have good values and potential. Just talk to somebody, work on your limiting believes, learnt helplessness and whatever other is holding you back from living a fulfilling life. One last note - I am happy for you to know, that you are man of value and "it should take a damn good person to earn being a part of it", but don't be full of yourself - you have plenty of vices as well ("we all are full of snakes" as somebody would say), so don't expect somebody to be "perfect" - look for someone who suits you, in good and in bad

[@jappie3143]

Great video! Being a competitive athlete in my youth i always wanted more, until the voices in my head kicked in and fell into a depression. Years later, deep down something kept telling me that i van still do more. More than all the People who cancelled me because i was weird. Now another 2 years later my friends notice the difference, being more confident, happy and laser focused on my goals. Switching that mindset is not easy, but sure they best dicision i ever made.

[@MartinEsteban23]

Love your voice is very soothing and calmly.

[@davidbigd9047]

Something I want to mention when you give the example of job interviews. Though I’m currently living off my service connected disability, I’m still picky about the job I want. I’d rather have a job which is fulfilling so it doesn’t feel like work. As for dating, after meeting my girlfriend, I did have the scarcity thought since, from my experience, no woman has ever wanted me. Now, I have been contacted by a total of 7 women who turn out to be romantically compatible with me. With my girlfriend, I was going to settle only because I asked very specific questions concerning what I’m looking for and she gave all the answers which made her pass my test.

[@nicholaspowell9309]

Abundance mindset is paramount for overall success

[@CourtneyRyan]

Exactly!

[@יניבהורוביץ]

On paper it sounds good, but I always had a hard time knowing if I was good enough at work and it was always important to me to hear good reviews about my work. And to know someone I always thought what was special about me and why bother her at all

[@aamosjwala5949]

One of the best video which most of the people wanted

[@spce777]

thank you for your time, Courtney

[@ericv5435]

I've had a scarcity mindset my whole life and it's just made me feel miserable. I've never had anything close to a girlfriend and I thought "I'm going to end up alone forever." Now I know that I just don't care to find a girlfriend anymore because it's just not worth it. I have a scarcity mindset about work too. I work as a dishwasher at olive garden and never bother trying to find anything better because I know for a fact I can't do any better than that. I really wish I could do better though since this job will more than likely kill me. The stress from this job has made me borderline suicidal. I really wish I didn't have this scarcity mindset but its so difficult to change if I haven't known anything better.

[@pranavnnair5]

Thanks for sharing. That's a tough situation to be in. I would suggest starting with making small changes to your life by waking up early, working out, and eating healthy. These changes can seem difficult at first but get easier once you gain some momentum and can seriously impact your life in a positive way. Trust me, I started working out many months ago and now I feel much better and more confident with my body. The second biggest thing you can do is start writing down all the problems you currently deal with and taking time to think about ways you can change them and writing down the appropriate steps to do so. You will make mistakes in the process but at least you'll have somewhere to start. I hope you try these steps that I have told you as they can really change your mindset and your current situation.

[@ericv5435]

@@pranavnnair5 it's impossible to have any time going to the gym no more than 1-2 days a week. I usually work 4-close, get home from work between 11:30pm and 1am, I can never get to bed any earlier than 3 or 4 am, so I can't wake up any earlier than noon. If I can't wake up before noon and I work at 4, than there's no time to go to the gym since I have to walk there and back. The only days I can get to the gym are my 2 days off a week.

[@ericv5435]

@@pranavnnair5 also I find it difficult to workout because it's so boring by myself and I just feel tired after I'm done with a workout

[@jleano609]

Dude, I’m sure you already know you have a negative mindset. Every second sentence is CAN’T with you. But I’ll say this, you can WRITE. You clearly have some education and the ability to string a sentence together with good grammar, no spelling mistakes and most importantly clarity. Not everyone can do that. I’ll wager most dishwashers at Olive Garden can’t do that. So that’s value right there. Grab on to that, it’s a real positive and it makes you already far from worthless. Next, take those few hours before end of shift and work out, you don’t have to go to the gym, go for a run. You’ll sleep better, I guarantee. Small changes. Work from there and then think, is Olive Garden the best I can do?

[@R05an]

@@ericv5435 Bro it is not easy, but you got to have a positive mind set. I know few guys who used to work as a kitchen porter in restaurants; now have become chefs, restaurant managers etc. The only difference is they had a positive mind set. Ask if there are any opportunity within the company. Try to maintain good relationship with other people. It is not just about working hard, but working smart and having good relationship skills. A referral is one of the quickest/easiest way to get a new job. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. What is the worst thing that is going to happen? He/she will say no. Brother, be positive and keep trying. A winner is just a loser, who tried one more time.

[@antonboludo8886]

A belief is not a thought that the mind possesses, it is a thought that possesses the mind.

[@BruceJC75]

I was pretty dead set on staying unfulfilled and unhappy, but hey, maybe there’s hope.

[@whereami692]

So lie to yourself? Great advice. For most men scarcity is reality