Will You Date Me? I'm a Voluntary Virgin

A New Movement of Voluntary Virgins has arisen why won't these ladies support the movement. Look at what our society has become.
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[@one7decimal2eight]

The way that he puts words in everyone's mouth is hilarious.

[@daveross1638]

You should see how hilarious he is in his videos when he is putting other things in peoples mouths. but you have to pay $10 a month on only fans for that.

[@01nmuskier]

Did you see the one where he wouldn't let a guy NOT be a nazi? 😅

[@Diddley_Squat]

@@01nmuskier haha, or where the guy wasn't gay

[@01nmuskier]

@@Diddley_Squat oh, that was brutal! 😆

[@mattmcgoo]

Yep - just like professional journalists!

[@Reverandfatdave]

Holy shit, getting someone to even say "Getting Railed" is a total win.

[@Bfolks84]

That was hilarious

[@MisoElEven]

not only that.. she said "I was railed by men that were..you know.."

[@YouGottaShootEmInTheHead]

@@MisoElEven gay?

[@szeltovivarsydroxan9944]

If I got a penny for every woman that didn't want to sleep with me, AOC would want me to get taxed.

[@keychain2115]

weak

[@jurgenparkour9337]

@UCPagBtmM0Cd9c3glLS7eUyg fuck your stupid god

[@ncls.1371]

Well given that there are about 3,5 billion women, and since so little of those even know me, or you, and even less of those would wanna bang you, there'd be a lot of penny's you'd get. So yea I want money

[@Rojomanzana438]

You mean enough money to be considered Middle Class?

[@SJohnTrombley]

If you got a penny for every woman that didn't want to sleep with you, suddenly some of them would want to sleep with you.

[@LaytonObserves]

Shout out to everyone that was so forward about how much they're getting railed

[@godwintalking4724]

@Suddenly spam

[@krismine99]

You mean tuned?

[@monkofmayhem1373]

Lets not forget about those being drilled and pounded, all about inclusivity here!

[@inthefade]

I'm so glad people can talk about smashing and getting tuned.

[@notasian7620]

Getting PIPED getting SLAMMED 🤣🤣 love the calm tone when saying dramatic words lmao

[@poconojimmysfishing]

“For me sex is kind of a dirty word so I choose other words like drilling and smashing” 😂 Ryan’s a man on the street legend

[@somerandomguy9156]

and keeping a straight face 😂 how can he do that 😂

[@notasian7620]

Piping 🤣

[@subdiplomatic]

railing

[@dexterdyall3425]

Quick-witted as hell

[@r0conscious]

Legendary level of trolling

[@dustin3596]

"like the doctor has sex with her for you." That had me burst out laughing at work

[@yoink128ify]

Hahaha #metoo!

[@ggrocketleague9098]

Amen, fully

[@houseofhas9355]

the doctor uses the condom for you and then puts it in your wallet. seems alright to me. lol

[@Galphor]

right? & they didnt even catch it when he said it

[@hotshotx5258]

Dont provoke me to watch that jav again

[@A_Person5280]

Ryan almost cracked when the lady was explaining his joke to him

[@A_Person5280]

@thanks Indeed. kzbin.info/www/bejne/h5eXh3ePZpuffck

[@abe_ismain]

@@A_Person5280 can you give me a time stamp when he almost cracks? Thank you sir!

[@A_Person5280]

@@abe_ismain 1:56

[@snu3877]

@@abe_ismain It's at 2:04, when she says "you're talking about drilling, and smashing.."

[@poiluparadis]

Tuned up is such a great euphemism

[@jainamjain5106]

@Suddenly spam

[@Man-vs-Metal]

It works, but if someone said so and so got tuned up I would take it as they got their ass beat.

[@eleyahwilson7831]

We use, oil change. No oil change without her having an orgasm though. Tune up is funny though

[@chiefdenis]

Yep, she gets tuned up every night

[@fearofchicke]

That’s where the back eyes come from.

[@nuggetsfan231]

"No you can choose between Toby chuck Dave and Me" lmaooo

[@rambojohnj.6117]

How Ryan can non-challantly ask “you enjoy getting tuned-up” without cracking a smile is BEYOND me.

[@adams3903]

imagine seeing your mom answering these questions from ryan. Would be life long trauma.

[@falrus]

Damn! Now I wanna talk to Ryan's mom

[@scallywag1716]

You realize you were born because your parents had sex, right? Why is this so traumatizing? Are you that sheltered?

[@whenpigsfly8178]

@@scallywag1716 The realisation that your parents had sex, is a little different from finding out the details of it. Most people don't want to think about that at all.

[@leulgetachew696]

@@scallywag1716 Nah bro, it's fucking gross. Just thinking about it makes me gag.

[@DgardsGaming]

i'm already pretty scared, don't really need more. XD

[@BionAvastar3000]

"It was in its infancy back then" "just conceived" lol I see you

[@Millhouse235]

Older men railed me🤣🤣🤣 *Harvey Winstein has entered the chat*

[@Nboss57]

😂

[@openpage1572]

AISURU.TOKYO/mizumi?[Making-love] 💞 (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over 🍑🍒 KZbin: This is fime Someone: Says "heck" KZbin: Be gone #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

[@kristyhoward6897]

Ryan's conversations with the elderly are the best!

[@Dr.Acula76]

The psychologist on the bench was the best. Talking about crazy women

[@Jangimiau]

"so how often are you getting railed" "Almost every night" "Okay, well, I'm sorry to hear that" 😂

[@MsBleau]

Lies

[@InspectahPatio]

*Tuned

[@leonrobinson8180]

Her husband's a lucky man

[@Whol3NothaL3v3l]

@@MsBleau I said the same thing 😂😂😂😂. What is wrong with people? She should have walked away long before he got to that question.

[@honour_valour]

It's the way he puts words in everyone's mouth. "no, i did not say that" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@N20Joe]

I love when people start to realize and try to un-put his words in their mouth

[@honour_valour]

@@N20Joe after unknowingly going along with it for a while

[@daddygromlegs1044]

These are way too funny. The vulgarity of “getting railed” and getting people to say it IRL is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

[@vishch2441]

Getting tuned every night even after 17 years. What an amazing marriage.

[@Tential1]

The word almost is doing a lot of heavy lifting

[@cbdcheeseburger7659]

“Have you ever considered anything like that?” “No thank you”

[@openpage1572]

AISURU.TOKYO/mizumi?[Making-love] 💞 (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over 🍑🍒 KZbin: This is fime Someone: Says "heck" KZbin: Be gone #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

[@houseofhas9355]

“the doctor has sex with her for you”-Classic, vv

[@TocoaPuffs]

"For me sex is sort of a dirty word so I use other words like 'drilling' or 'smashing'" You nearly broke face, I saw you. So funny.

[@whenpigsfly8178]

"You're really making up stuff as I'm talking" - Heh. 3:36 That was bloody funny and her reaction is great.

[@josephortega6080]

Yea it felt like a 4th wall break

[@freeman7079]

Ryan Long is my spirit animal 🦔

[@openpage1572]

AISURU.TOKYO/mizumi?[Making-love] 💞 (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。18 years and over 🍑🍒 KZbin: This is fime Someone: Says "heck" KZbin: Be gone #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #Интересно #забавно #девушка #смешная #垃圾

[@percyblok6014]

He says it so we don't have to. LULZ

[@NathanicusSmith]

He's so insane off the cuff. A lot of these interviews are better than the skits.

[@pocobull]

I'm actually a member of the brother organization to Voluntary Virgins, the Involuntary Virgins. It's kind of the same, except that we have ten's of thousands of members, and we aren't having sex because women are repulsed by our very existence.

[@Sanglierification]

Try having a sense of humor

[@pocobull]

@@Sanglierification so you took my post as me being completely serious?

[@bengaliinplatforms1268]

The number is a lot higher than that, champ. There is a reason simping has ramped up to 11.

[@pocobull]

@@bengaliinplatforms1268 ya, sorry, I missed the last quarterly reporting meeting. I had to convince my parents to let me live in their basement for a few more years. Oh and by the way, according to Lisa we have to change our slogan to "We may be ugly, but we aren't funny."

[@kingchad3379]

I'm a member of the cousin organization Involuntary Non-Virgins.Yeah, Uncle Jim was a bit of a weirdo

[@fryone]

Growing faster... Right now there's three of us.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 man Ryan you are slaying us all

[@HeWhoComments]

The doctor’s office one killed me lol

[@houseofhas9355]

The doctor uses the condom for you and then puts it in your wallet. vv oath. lol

[@TsukiNaito1]

Your profile pic: No.

[@crazycjk]

3:16 "you're really making up stuff as I'm talking" SHE'S ONTO YOU RYAN!!

[@kwazhims3lf]

3:15 "your really just making up stuff while im talking" holy crap, im dyin here this is too good

[@patrickungaro1447]

“You’re really making up stuff as I’m talking” made me crack up so loud at work

[@dontbestupid6664]

I love the people who are bright enough to call him out “you said that, not me.”

[@cupcakkerares]

“Railed” and “tuned” are the funniest words to use for it lmaoo

[@hawyadoin1175]

The way you don’t crack up at all while doing this kinda makes me think you might be a sociopath. I love it.

[@ImLehwz]

It’s so beautiful that even though you’re completely ironic people still talk like you’re serious.

[@niclasjohansson5992]

What a great blend of people being offended, being a good sport and being completely sincere in response

[@mesmith2526]

Started getting concerned for Ryan, when the woman started to use logic around 1:50...👀

[@paulyshore1942]

Yeah, she railed him hard.

[@mesmith2526]

@@paulyshore1942 just like a train! 🚂 #ChooChoo

[@azp4793]

@@paulyshore1942 I suppose you could say he was almost railed?

[@AM-jx3zf]

:'D

[@siddharthdhulipala24]

At 2:03 he did smirk for a second

[@JV-tw6lt]

This is gold. 😂😂🤣.. “it’s too important to get tuned”.. 😂

[@ALovelyBunchOfDragonballz]

"Youre not having sex, but the whole conversation is about sex" _"antiracism" has entered the chat_

[@pigpenlordofdirt]

"Were the offers not coming through?" "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...it was voluntary."

[@m.a.118]

The perfect blend of cringe and hilarious.

[@IchNachtLiebe]

You are a cultural icon Ryan. I mean this quite literally: you are a comedy staple of this generation. There are some things I disagree with you on that you've stated in your podcasts but your work in comedy as a person who doesn't buy into the woke mob had more influence in the world than can even be quantified. For the Boys!

[@the_SolLoser]

@John Ron What kind?

[@MZ99698]

“More influence on the world than can even be quantified”…🤣 ok then

[@josuastangl7140]

3:29 "the movement was just in its infancy at the time" Bro I'm dying over here😂😂

[@Zack-bl2gg]

I love the girl talking about traditional values. She gets that sex isn’t a bad thing, it’s just meant and prepared for a specific place and reason, and can be quite beautiful

[@vulthurmir2478]

A rare breed as far as I've seen.

[@TsukiNaito1]

Hard to find a guy (or girl) who thinks like that in my generation. 😩

[@lilfr4nkie]

He is a beast at sliding words into ppls mouth 😂💪

[@il400]

What's the difference between drilling, railing and smashing?

[@faustomadebr]

The intention...

[@whenpigsfly8178]

How tired you are.

[@kristyhoward6897]

2 minutes...

[@infernaldaedra]

Drilling is ass up, railing is that good angle, and smashing is just sex.

[@penske_material]

I'm not sure what the difference is but what matters is that none of them sound as dirty as "sex"

[@jas9239]

His little wry smile around the 2:02 mark when she wasn’t looking at him and then when she looked at him, he went back to stone faced and I watched it like 5 times and laughed so hard every time

[@lamborambo6384]

Give the editor a raise. Why zooming in on the coffee sip was so funny, I do not know... lol

[@zr8914]

lmao love it when he sits down when they start talking real personal

[@memski9565]

I was waiting for him to say - "Laying Pipe" XD

[@atrailerinthewoods]

"You can choose between toby, chuck, Dave and me" lmao

[@Flakester]

"In no way will Toby tune you up." 🤣

[@waynejohnson1786]

“What’s this for?” Missed the opportunity to reply “VICE News”

[@THELASTOFTHEX]

It's the calming music that adds that little something special.

[@joshuaforester]

"you're really making up stuff as I'm talking." -- blonde lady is on to you @Ryan Long! the gig is up.

[@driver1140dg]

yeah he's funny and all but his straight face discipline is rock solid

[@nickg1743]

Dude your so good at keeping your face straight, when the blonde woman said 'no your the one that brought up smashing', 😂 legend

[@jmoletsgo13]

Under no circumstance will Tony tune you up. My God man, how do you come up with these lines on the fly?! Hahahaha!

[@allouttabubblegum1984]

It's almost like Ryan is trying to break a personal record with using terms like: railing, drilling, piping, smashing and the like. 😂

[@FreckleFoxShow]

I feel seen, thank you Ryan for the VV representation❤

[@alias4577-f5q]

The music is so good EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 😂😂

[@person-ie1fe]

That old lady went full therapy

[@forefatherofmankind3305]

03:09 ... She, " you really making up stuff" 🤣🤣🤣

[@Valejandrom]

"Getting railed" 😂 Omg the way he talks to people is outrageous

[@AurumEtAes]

“You’re really making stuff up as I’m talking” This woman knows what’s up

[@drumboarder1]

Bless that woman. I went from tears welling up to laughing, christ what a legend

[@freddiewest3799]

These conversations are just beautiful😅

[@MatthewLoom]

Ryan Long is a special kind of comedic genius.

[@DemsDaBreak]

Im crying from that lady laughing about ryan saying her husband tunes her up

[@BerchCerp]

Almost broke character on this one. Lol. So good.

[@adamleckius]

"I feel like you're just making stuff up when I'm talking" yes maam, yes that is correct

[@blappichulo9015]

Just like her father, her mask has abandoned her nose. A vicious, sad cycle.

[@Zathren]

God, this is an underated comment. The amount of people who don't cover their nose with the mask genuinely makes me laugh.

[@jennag3226]

Who cares? 😂

[@temporaryaccount5698]

@@jennag3226 why wear it though?

[@jennag3226]

@@temporaryaccount5698 exactly. I dont wear one and im not vaccinated so idc if she wears it over her nose or doesn't.

[@MsBleau]

@@jennag3226 Those are the people that are leading us to slaughter because they don't have the balls to stand up to their slave master. She's only wearing it out of fear of the gove not the flu

[@Dude_McNuggz]

Did anybody else get a random notification for this video? I've never heard of this guy, and I'm not subscribed. No clue why I got a notification for it. haha

[@StevieObieYT]

01:45 "it's funny that because you're not having sex yet your entire conversation has been around sex" 🤣

[@shaunohagan1491]

got a notifictation there, thought someone had left a reply on one of my comments calling me a virgin!

[@cf9844]

This was four minutes of video and 20 minutes of laughter. This guy is seriously the best working right now.

[@rjharper2597]

i never laughed so hard, EVERY video im in tears. thank you.

[@MikeBronson515]

I spit my coffe out at “….because you’re not going to be getting railed, or anything like that?”

[@robertjensen1048]

Drilling. Railing. Tuning. I tune in just to hear him say these words.

[@the_SolLoser]

Oh yeah? So you were tuning yourself up while tuning into this man to ask people about getting tuned? That's so specifically tuned. XD

[@jimmcneal5292]

This video got me in a philosophical discussion with myself about attributing people with high standards to incels or to volcels.

[@ExtendedDelta]

1:30 - People like this lady is so afraid to say anything because she might offend one of the groups we are "forbidden" to say anything they would consider even remotely negative.

[@cx2900]

and she didn't even know how to say the word she thought would keep her out of trouble lol

[@ExtendedDelta]

@@cx2900 Yeah, I noticed that too. They all just repeat what they are told to. Or in this case, try to repeat what they are told.

[@houseofhas9355]

Say it all and offend everyone equally it equals out. lol

[@stub4488]

I have to rewatch....laughing to hard 🤣 😆

[@Courier_Seven]

"its just always about sex for you?.." He hits that so perfectly and left her speechless

[@jimsmith575]

That one woman dressed in black is comedic GOLD !!!!

[@satsingh1985]

The "tuned up" moment is classic

[@visuals2763]

"getting tuned" I'm using this. It's mine now.

[@thisguy1397]

*2:04** -* Ryan almost lost it and Broke Character but quickly took hold of it when she looked back at him. Nice. 😁👌

[@bojaiden5175]

I like tuning to this channel

[@dutchymcsmokeyton2582]

"for me sex is kind of like a dirty word, so i just use words like drilling and smashing." hahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....freaking broke me. i feel like ryan is my soul human. i would love to just sit at the mall and subtly roast people with you.

[@deaddevil7]

I find it so amusing that Ryan is able to say all of this with the biggest pokerface I have ever seen.

[@oliviaguthrie6195]

"He's from the New York chapter of VV's" I FREAKING LOST IT HAHAHA

[@FatManJackson]

I was in the organisation before it was cool.

[@luludee1300]

Same

[@xn85d2]

Toby?

[@FatManJackson]

@@xn85d2 who are you and why do you know my name?

[@suntouch3r]

3:13 "You're really making stuff up as I'm talking. No." :D

[@Aalu-Bhujiya]

I need tuning too 😔

[@themetalhead1463]

I wouldn’t think of touching my partner. We don’t touch. She thinks that I’m disgusted by her which I am as a person. She also thinks that I’m not with anyone else. Sometimes, “I work late.”

[@rofflesvanwagon]

Perfect timing, I'm high as fuck.

[@youtubestudiosucks978]

And i'm drunk

[@paulyshore1942]

Thursday morning and high, that’s what’s up

[@rofflesvanwagon]

@@paulyshore1942 lol yup, my day off so it's my weekend pretty much

[@rofflesvanwagon]

@@youtubestudiosucks978 drinks & bong rips for the boys

[@noskalborg723]

Hello High as Fuck, I'm Noskal Borg. 😂

[@martareitmajer]

I’m a voluntary virgin. Thank you very much everybody for contributing and not smashing me.

[@sastafaisu4025]

Never knew I was part of an organisation I didn't even know of 😳

[@overtblowfish4439]

lmao how did the silver driller not figure you out immediately

[@Ieatpaste23]

I love how he says sex is a bad word to him, but the words he chooses are so much more crude. I love him.

[@whyisblue923taken]

"Tuned Up" Ryan Long merch would sell right now.

[@theondono]

“I’m sorry to hear that”