Will You Ever Be the Same, Healed After Narcissistic Abuse?

Рет қаралды 39,556

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 217

@YBALSTHYYY Ай бұрын

Afterwards you see the world through more open eyes, you realise how many of these monsters walk among us & that they ultimately control the world.

@Mayalalitaa Ай бұрын

Absolute facts it’s actually insane

@margo3073 Ай бұрын

yes.unfortunately.......

@2Kirass 4 күн бұрын

I just say i started pointing at them and is fucking working

@Hearthbed Ай бұрын

Professor Sam Vakinin is one of my favorite external objects 🎁

@CarinaCares Ай бұрын

😂👍

@jenj3299 Ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@annavaporwave Ай бұрын

Idk I'm always alone when I listen to him, to me he's internal 🤣🤣🤣

@ingriddegryse509 Ай бұрын

❤

@deliamariaalandetemanotas4931 Ай бұрын

😂

@carola.dieudonne Ай бұрын

"Many victims of narcissistic abuse have made a pledge to never be with another person again and to remain solitary for the rest of their lives. They have learned that hell is the other person. That sometimes a wrong choice, a wrong mate selection could lead to a togetherness that is a concentration camp." You have done it again... spot on!

@anthonyrab9468 24 күн бұрын

Not only narcissistic, I would say same for hystrionic, bpd or covert narcissist

@questroyal8650 23 күн бұрын

You are right ! Also me I choose to be solitary.In my case loose any trust in females.I know are a lot many genuine females..but I become more awere.

@comadronasmith1209 16 күн бұрын

Omg, perfect analogy. I was living in a concentration camp for 27 years. Now I live alone and will never involve myself romantically again. But I have a lot of loving relationships. It feels like coming back from the dead.

@teresadvorak6145 Ай бұрын

The answer is No, you will never be the same again. Thanks Doc❤❤❤

@chiliart8056 Ай бұрын

Definitly no now when I look at someone thay get chils if thay cross boundery

@wendykasera Ай бұрын

Exactly what is happening to me, spiritual death, i don't feel like myself anymore. Narcs kill your innocence. Your view of humanity changes. And one feels so disintegrated.

@JJOK1818-okthen Ай бұрын

This information should be taught to all children - save some souls 🙌✨

@sysye Ай бұрын

I'm not the same person and I'm so happy I'm nor

@earthrooster1969 Ай бұрын

And to adults...children are not able to truly understand the abuse until much much later

@ariesnarona Ай бұрын

I know I will never be the same again. I am now stronger.

@monikaknapczyk7151 Ай бұрын

The loss of innocence. My own words after the relationship with certain person. Maybe all people feel that kind of relational trauma in similar way.

@magali.bazzano Ай бұрын

It takes time. But there is peace, light, and calmness at the end. Therapists never helped by the way. I had to fix and heal myself. It took years.

@nyxcole9879 Ай бұрын

Same, I'm getting close ❤

@PinkiePi Ай бұрын

The most glaring aspect of my experiences is that every time I listen to content like this from a qualified source like Prof Vaknin, it is like a play-by-play of my experiences, and he describes exactly how I feel and the state I am in. Yet, after 10 years with a covert malignant narcissist, I still doubt myself, blame myself, gaslight myself, make excuses for my ex, etc. This content is extremely valuable and important. Not just for education, but for the validation and vindication of victims of narcissistic abuse. Thank you Prof Vaknin!

@teresadvorak6145 Ай бұрын

I think it comes down to making the decision of what your willing to live with & what your not going to tolerate. In my own case, I've went no contact from those who hurt or destroy me. I never said a word to them about it, I just went no contact & they figure it out after a while. Then you've got to watch out & guard yourself from their retaliation. Every case is individual while being similar to most narcs. I guess 😮 ❤❤❤

@zdziebelko100 Ай бұрын

Thank you Sir. Beautiful and so, so true

@AbiBrown-q9k Ай бұрын

I met this guy at a local coffee shop in early june 2024. He had no boundaries or filters. I was taken back by how vulgar he was at times. He told me he was a busy man. I am a great listener and he was a non-stop talker. He started to be very judgmental me eg: he called me I was controlling, lonely, always right, too sensitive, negative, disliking his friends vain, judgmental, analyzing everything he says, I don't see myself for what I am in a negative light, in denial these are just a few comments. I told him too many times that I did not like his abusive ways. He finally stopped going to the same coffee shop. He was trying to control my mind, voice and thoughts my reality....this has been very scary, confusing experience

@irenahabe2855 Ай бұрын

Confusing and intrusive experience indeed.

@Kzjonez1 Ай бұрын

It is well known he has NPD thus is not surprising what you experience . Regardless,he know his stuff better than anyone I have come across.

@mialite7959 Ай бұрын

Did you meet Sam Vaknin or just some guy? Your post is very confusing.

@heatherwagar5868 Ай бұрын

Thank you, Professor Vaknin. This breakdown helped me a lot. The narcissist thought he could crush my spirit forever but I’m the best version of myself in spite of him. The family and friends that he tried to isolate me from, remind me daily that I’m lovable. I don’t take anything for granted.

@hopealivealways Ай бұрын

Thank you for the candid discussion on the NAC abuse post-traumatic state. People keep avoiding this discussion and giving uninformed toxic positivity advice. It is not that there is no healing, it is that this abuse changes us, so we have to see healing through a different lens

@teresadvorak6145 Ай бұрын

I've learned alote & healing, since tuning in to all these (how to deal with narc abuse) sites on you tube. I've been learning for 4 years now & have things ever turned around! I'm so grateful for these good Doctors like Sam❤❤❤

@hopealivealways Ай бұрын

@@teresadvorak6145 Wonderful. Let's keep learning and growing.

@brandibernard967 Ай бұрын

Pushed me into my awakening. So in someway I'm appreciative. Thank you for the insight. Going on 3 years of healing.

@edithflood631 Ай бұрын

Going on 29 years of healing. Major insights at year 28. “Changed but okay”, as he says. In this, my actual experience, Mind or God (as one pleases or prefers) will only allow enough insight into the prior (or ongoing) narcissistic experience, as the victim/subject can psychologically withstand at any one time. There are two interesting conjectures to be drawn from this. One, after a major insight or revelation from within, you will feel you are 98% healed. But the missing two percent will hold great significance when it is revealed in the future. It will still rock your world. But you will have a foundation by then (which is why it will be revealed, remember). Two, and this is the shocker. At some deep level, Self, Mind or God *knew* and was aware of everything that was happening to you, every secret of the narcissist, every betrayal, at the time it was happening. At some deep level there was awareness. The task for the higher self was to get you out of the mess with your sanity and wisdom intact. Because the entanglement with (textbook) evil (a totally amoral deceptive being) is a huge potentially fatal problem to resolve and escape from. . Thus, the blinkered blindness and the periodic earth-shaking revelations in the years after you leave the narcissist. But, never forget, at a deep level, all along, you knew. It was a kind of hidden power, if you like. Because for sure the narcissist would have crushed that as well if they could have.

@raegen5618 Ай бұрын

Me too! I hope you’re doing ok.

@brandibernard967 Ай бұрын

@@raegen5618more than I can ever voice! Hope ur well

@brandibernard967 Ай бұрын

@@raegen5618 fabulous

@italiama79 Ай бұрын

Me too! I believe that was the blessing in disguise

@SteveH-u5w Ай бұрын

Two years of the most horrific borderline alcoholic drug addict experience with a younger woman leads me to four days since what I believe to be the final discard following my mirroring her. I’m in court to obtain a non molestation order tomorrow. Videos of her cheating with men in their late 60s but still she denied. triangulating, multiple cheating, physical and verbal abuse discard rate reached every two days , I guess she really is one of the worst kinds of borderlines. Ive found myself again after what seems a living hell where I lost myself. Therapy awaits. This channel helped save my soul. Thank you

@maggiemcdonald3185 Ай бұрын

Was the worst experiance of my life , but has turned out to be the making of me 🎉❤🙏

@demigaines5644 Ай бұрын

Thank you. So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This Im A Victim Of Narcissitic Abuse After Experiencing Emotional And Psychological Abuse Very Horrific. I'm Learning To Love Myself Again And Forgiving Myself. This Person Destroyed My Life My Health My Self Confidence. After Going Through Narcissistic Abuse I Feel Like An Infant Again Learning How To Love Myself And Self Caring. Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal....

@Muppet.master Ай бұрын

I am becoming a lion from the prey it once was . Big love from Manchester UK ❤️🙏❤️🃏

@Muppet.master Ай бұрын

@Fuckthepolice-x6e ❤️🙏

@lieagain Ай бұрын

Early in my recovery. The world feels evil at times.

@earthrooster1969 Ай бұрын

7:05 truly appreciate how you talk about crisis and how we react to it. Like animals playing dead, or using camouflage.. I am going through a similar journey where I am distancing myself from my toxic family, starting to actively dissociate with my childhood trauma (after truly processing it and acknowleding it) and being very stubborn on my journey to stay the course...there is no other way..

@Guitarmfig 9 күн бұрын

I don't understand how people suffer so much with this I have been through various disengagements and got over them very quickly, within a couple of months, maybe I'm a monster HAHAHAHAHA 😂 Love your channel and your humour Prof

@monikaannakania1869 Ай бұрын

Professor Sam Vaknin, thank you so much for giving me so much hope, right now while I already got into the believe that I will be in this broken pieces for the rest of my life... Thank you so much!!!

@Shanti1777 Ай бұрын

I Love listening and suffering with you. Realized so much through your lessons.

@shreeja08rao Ай бұрын

Sam this is the most important thing I needed in this moment

@StellarHeron Ай бұрын

Sam…I don’t need to tell you this, but you are the best at demystifying the mechanics of narcissistic abuse. So much gratitude for your sharing!

@maryvera123 Ай бұрын

Congratulations, Professor Vaknin, on your new appointment at SEEU! 🎉

@productioninquiry8937 Ай бұрын

I don't want to be. I want to be smarter, better and more aware.

@AmandaPryar Ай бұрын

After the abuse I suffered, I have noticed that I'm stronger and I can spot a narcissist as soon as I ( or they) start to speak; its an eye opener and I now walk away from them with a silent smile and a knowing that they didn't destroy me. I'm nolonger afraid to say NO! . I think it could be that in knowing whose a narcissist I've lost my love for and trust in humanity.

@earthrooster1969 Ай бұрын

Thanks for reminding us Dr Vaknin that one does not have to lose faith in the goodness of humanity after being let down horribly by the narcissist. Love you mentioning that Nature at best or worst is indifferent and we can strive to create our reality by our own investment of ideas, actions, etc...

@JavierMares Ай бұрын

Congratulations on your new appointment, Professor Vaknin!

@summerhall7289 Ай бұрын

Love you, Professor! Keep up your fantastic work, and screw those plagiarizers! Call them ALL out!! (Hi, Minnie! 👋🏻)

@kahtnipp Ай бұрын

I'm so incredibly grateful for you, your knowledge, wisdom and how you share them with us freely like you do. Thank you so much for all that you've shared and all that you've done for the world.

@CherylBriere-gp8bk Ай бұрын

Sam, can people pick up on this victim’s feeling of inner death? You talk about the uncanny valley in the narcissist that signals you’re in the presence of an absence. Is there something similar in the victim? I think many people mistake the victim for the narcissist

@samvaknin Ай бұрын

Yes, there is. This is why some people avoid victims.

@HarryBeats_ Ай бұрын

25:00 “When you have graduated from the narcissistic abuse University, the higher education of the narcissist” 🤣 The curriculum is harrowing Wonderful video, Sam, thank you.

@prittike 4 күн бұрын

Hupty Dumpty - 🤣🥳 Thank you soooo much! I cried through half of the video and at the last sentence - just broke out in laugh! I so much needed this relief.

@alinee1995 Ай бұрын

I am going through it right now and it's so hard

@emmasuo272 Ай бұрын

First of all I wanna hug you so tightly my sister you're not alone yes it feels really really dark but you know it does get better you'll shine like a diamond in the end you'll be a lioness and a resilient person I love you so much and you're not alone in this you're loved this is just a change process go through it and embrace the new version of you more power to you my powerful girl 🫂💛💚🤍

@alinee1995 Ай бұрын

@@emmasuo272 thank you for your kind words

@brandibernard967 Ай бұрын

Sending much love and light 🤍

@Zwiebly Ай бұрын

This is very comprehensive, thanks. I felt the image at the end of the video. ".. broke you into pieces..". This is exactly how I felt. I still feel the urge to contact different people and reaffirm myself but then I feel guilty that I am only seeking validation and that they could see me as weak and that they could be of the same opinion as the person who discarded me and and and

@JuiceLion Ай бұрын

So incredible precise explained. Thank you Dr. Vaknin.🙏🏽

@sillyconenavia Ай бұрын

I bought your book Self Malignant Love, I am still scared to read it. You have been one of my biggest sources of comprehending and defining these creatures. I have been to 3 therapist, great help. They say by time I finish my healing process, I will have less friends & family members and I will be lonelier. King David said Wisdom is more precious than rubies, nothing compares to her, Amen. Thank you for your videos & thank you for coining the terms for us all. I truly your videos, your on point and concise with your explanations. I am 17months away from a 26yr fake & phony marriage. I blew her cover, went no contact, unmasked her and left many of her family with their antennas up in the air. May Elohim always bless you Dr. Vaknin, again thank for everything. Shalom, Servando Navia Jr. Hernandez

@davidroot8196 Ай бұрын

I think this is the best Sam Vaknin video I’ve seen and I’ve watched many of them.

@ghostqueen2082 Ай бұрын

Another great lecture in The Defense against the Dark Arts 👌

@RhondaLange-w5j Ай бұрын

So brilliant, yet easily explained to the average Joe or Jane.Not a stuffed shirt, even silly at times.Thankyou,. Dr. Vaknin.

@SusanWillans-b9q Ай бұрын

Hi Dr. Vaknin! Great video as usual, but I prefer another outcome. After a life time of narcissistic abuse from our mother and brother, my sister and I have matured to the point where they can’t surprise us, break us any more. Brother maybe got away with stealing our inheritance from our parents estate, but we know how to carry on with our own families and life. He is old and alone, unwell, and I can’t wait to see how he blows himself up again (figuratively of course), and no one left to bail him out.

@SusanWillans-b9q Ай бұрын

Good evening Dr. Vaknin! Greetings from Canada!

@YTistooannoying Ай бұрын

Professor, my husband, over the last two years, has flown off the rails. We have been together 24 years. He started drinking again after 8 years of sobriety and all his lies came down around him. I found out he has been visiting prostitutes for at least the last 10 years. Lying to people about his life. He even started lying about easily provable things and laughing when he was confronted. I have finally ended things with him and... I am happier, but it feels like I have been living with a really, painful noise for the past 24 years and it's suddenly silent. It's really disorienting, and even though it feels good it's uncomfortable. I am also afraid the noise will start up again and I won't be able to stop it. I am afraid. I have cut off all communication, but I'm scared. He is so manipulative I am scared... so scared. I wish he would just leave me alone Edit: I forgot the most important part of my comment. Your videos have helped arm me. I have stopped being the Echo to his Narcissi. Thank you for sharing all of this with us. I listen to Dr. Ramani too, but your way of speaking just gets through to me just right. Thank you

@emmagladstone573 Ай бұрын

Big hug to you. Hang in there. You can see it, that’s the most important step. F$&k him! Stick to your own feelings, beliefs and boundaries. They are right, even when you’re questioning them. Wishing you all the very best.

@olga-g8q8y Ай бұрын

To meet a narcissist it is the best thing what can happen to you if you survive! You”ll never become the same and that’s the best growth you can never ever get from the life :))

@anesasosevic2813 Ай бұрын

@olga Narcissists are the best teachers, but school is pretty difficult. Victims must learn to survive at first, then their task is fight to victory. ❤

@binglopez4919 Ай бұрын

Thank you Dr Sam for the insightful life wisdoms!

@allannielsen5308 Ай бұрын

Thank you Sam Vaknin…very very brilliant explanation 🙏🏼👍✋💯

@Hearthbed Ай бұрын

O kay shoshanim. I say ok shoshanim to myself constantly as I switch from one task/thought to the next 😂 😂😂

@InTheSkyWithLucie Ай бұрын

He has become an introject in your mind! but same lol

@pat_rick01 Ай бұрын

Upon reading Sam's title only, I recalled that last week, I felt like my old self for about 5 seconds and it escaped me. I lost my mental grip. To be myself is going to be very difficult, having been married 46 years in a gradual, ever worsening tornado.

@TeresaLeonard-Gilham-ly6kh 9 күн бұрын

Thank you for this video! Very helpful and hopeful…

@EverahSnow Ай бұрын

Congratulations! 🎉

@mugsybalone2286 Ай бұрын

What about those of us who didn’t choose a narcissistic partner, but were given a narcissistic parent? If you never trusted yourself ever from all the gaslighting, is there a way back to healthy self trust?

@samvaknin Ай бұрын

Yes. Watch the NA Healing playlist.

@211Sevi Ай бұрын

Great organisation of content! Thank you for the encouragement (Knowing that brokenness is fixable and damage can be rendered into valuable lessons and healing is very hopeful!) and the precious advices!!! ❤

@HealandInspire Ай бұрын

You just spoke to me. Been alone 4 years now. Traumatized still. 37 years I gave him. I used to believe it was his PTSD. Until he devalued me for years and then discarded me, did I figure out he is a Covert Narcissist. Thank you…

@elisa9359 Ай бұрын

Many thanks for giving me this decent hope 🙏....God bless you !

@jans724 Ай бұрын

This was a very good and informative talk! Good list of ten points!

@Riostunning Ай бұрын

Always getting the right topic at the right time, thanks professor ❤

@JacK-qn4zh Ай бұрын

No. You will never fully trust again nor be a victim. After that kind of mental games without any answers...Just find peace within yourself. Once you have that, you just won't wanna again once things are good...or at least I have't. Coming up on 7 years and...I still read all but, When life is good...why mess it up?!

@LolaAileenVanslette Ай бұрын

Being raised by, have extended family, three marriages (one to a sociopath - diagnosed while I was pregnant with my second daughter; once to a covert narcissist), I've learned not to trust ANYONE! After this last relationship with a malignant-vulnerable narcissist, I don't plan on trying again. Apparently, I'm the problem, or I wouldn't keep getting involved with them.

@hollymerriman7189 Ай бұрын

OK, we will never be the same and I’m just going through my healing process thanks to radical acceptance. But maybe we can be better in someways more discerning wiser. Let people earn our trust rather than just giving it away for free. There’s so many comments, I won’t see the reactions to mine butwhat does everyone else think?

@truebalticamber Ай бұрын

Following for 2years, and believe that this video is probably most powerful in recognising toxic with npd person. Cant thank you enough. Had seriuose doubts whatever I am too needy for simple decent kind behavior or it is actual abuse.

@karencoklow3036 21 күн бұрын

I’m so broken emotionally & psychologically honestly, I’m not sure I’ll ever recover. I hope but I don’t see how it’s going to happen. I’m so guarded and vigilant I push everyone away 🖤💔

@kindbudkudos Ай бұрын

Thank you so much. I needed this right now, thabk you prof sam.

@peoplespoet1974 Ай бұрын

Both my parents are, and my ex of 20 tears (a B.P.D.) ...As an 'Aspie'? It caused imposter syndrome which I am recovering from and I battle Cptsd. Being a goth singer from the 80s and 90s, I am also deep into sociology and was in college a few years but still an 'understudy'. ----Great points.

@denverjonah Ай бұрын

Dr Vaknin is a little introject. Love the material … good channel.

@mayracramer1 Ай бұрын

Came at a perfect time this news! Thank you.

@kimwright2538 Ай бұрын

Relationshit that’s what it is. Thank you for truth telling Professor. Everything you speak is exactly how it was. The outcome, I am Healed, Awake but more importantly an educated empath. Be well and love yourself to everyone listening 🙏🏽❤️‍🩹🙏🏽

@fi-jannereijne7445 Ай бұрын

Thank you for this so clear and true reading. It waa yust what happend. Recovering is possible. Very happy now. Its a project indeed. .

@sokoleski Ай бұрын

This was very clear....and very useful 💚

@snowps1 Ай бұрын

I think I would be healed mostly from my narc ex-bf from 20 years ago if it weren't for having a narc SIL in my life. I hate that I have to stay away from my brother and his kids to avoid her as much as possible.

@MarySiney Ай бұрын

Thank you for your kindness 😢

@Lilianapescariu12 Ай бұрын

Someone saw the silhouette from the another room in the left side of video? By the way so much I love this video, greetings from Romania

@BryanJohnson-mn9ed Ай бұрын

I think it's his wife or kid photo bombing his video...😂

@holeef...v2994 Ай бұрын

Yes - 😅😅😅

@freebird968-wg4ye Ай бұрын

Yes. It was very distracting.

@alinajeziorska5959 Ай бұрын

Thank you Prof. Vaknin

@PROMOTIONALSHORTS5784 Ай бұрын

I am new and improved. A shade of ruthless - with humour 😅

@carolina-k9s Ай бұрын

Thank you for your wisdom.

@ronniemitchell1473 Ай бұрын

This was amazing! Thank you for this, it has been so helpful!

@jorjetanojarova6253 Ай бұрын

Yeees absolutely! I’m a brunch now😁 Love to learn from you professor!

@livewires8637 Ай бұрын

Not the same. Now aware of codependent behaviors and able to choose to be toxic or not.

@johncampbell301 Ай бұрын

Your videos have helped me so much🎉 thank you.

@jonmason4791 Ай бұрын

Thank you for a very hopeful message

@Darkpheria Ай бұрын

❤You Are on the One! Gratitude.

@govandahmed1846 Ай бұрын

great lecture Sam. thank you❤

@sabiajahang8660 Ай бұрын

'Hell is other people' is a funny saying because if you read what Sartre ment by it, it is not the other people that are hell. But and I am paraprashing here: 'because we see our own reflection in their eyes'. Only someone as brilliant as Sartre was, could come up with something like this. It is still self-referential in conclusion, no escape from oneself. Hell is not the other people surrounding us, but seeing ourselves back that makes it hell. Just brilliant.