Wink Dink City's Grand Re-Re-Re-opening

[@spoobledorp]

Imagine the mayor of your city is making an announcement and he just starts saying "I'm g- just gonna make a new city, I'm gonna make a brand new city. This one's FUCKED" and then he leaves

[@TheGreatCalsby]

LOL > attends grand opening > says the city is fucked > builds a new city > refuses to elaborate > leaves

[@analyticCioccolata]

4 hours later the new city's gone bankrupt because of fucking roads

[@Byler39]

The entire plot from “Parks and Rec”

[@FENomadtrooper]

Hey, if could be worse. You could have been in that new city that got nuked by a meteor.

[@coffee1080]

@@Byler39 sorry i dont watch poor people entertainment like cable, care to explain it?

[@AbsentIntelligence]

"Excuse me I'd like to refund this bridge." The architect just stares blankly, unsure how they're supposed to react to this statement of complete and utter madness.

[@sbraypaynt]

“You’re contracting us to demolish this bridge and clean up all the debris from the river. And you expected the money you payed for its construction to be refunded…?”

[@NicholasEzclapz]

This made me laugh audibly.

[@Hugsloth]

"it's like tinker toys right, you just un-click the pieces"

[@pixelatedbishop]

Literally crying from laughing

[@Icetea-2000]

You could say that this guy is FUCKED

[@near4462]

Chat not talking out of sulkiness because he wouldn't center the bridge is gold

[@PointsofData]

@The Jerma985 I imagine two thirds didn't care about the bridge, the inherent shitposter in all of us just jumped at the chance to meme hard or die trying

[@crackedemerald4930]

I like to think that entire part of chat is pouting too

[@18754KRS]

@The Jerma985 ＋２

[@boodle399]

Imagine protesting the mayor to straighten and fix a bridge in your city to avoid accidents and increase efficiency only for him to respond by tearing down the bridge and building an even worse one to spite the city

[@SRowntree]

I mean that's sort of what Chris Christie did

[@bakedandsteaked]

Real

[@boodle399]

@@SRowntree please do tell

[@bogmanhimself4656]

and then the city is immediately struck by a meteor as an act of god for the mayor's hubris

[@SRowntree]

@@boodle399 Purely out of spite he shut down a major bridge and took his family to the beach. It was a huge scandal.

[@hooty8703]

Jerma being the lead designer of a city would probably lead to natural disasters occurring more often just to make him mad

[@Clone3A7]

He really WOULD get the SHORT end of the stick

[@snkybrki]

@@Clone3A7 *COMPACT

[@grafikkomputerowy6887]

Bomb pfp

[@raspymode]

Miami

[@gremlinman9724]

God hates jerma as a concept

[@jackmetrro]

I feel bad for the citizens of Wink Dink City. Their mayor comes back for like 15 minutes calls the place a shit hole, demolishes the powerplant and leaves the city powerless.

[@junkmail103]

Local mayor streamer thinks building a bridge and then immediately destroying it is a net zero transaction

[@diogenesfinewines]

"I just want it to be efficient!" -Designs the most inefficient city to ever exist

[@TheAurelianProject]

Fr, all the roads are literally facing away from the highway.

[@snkybrki]

@@TheAurelianProject Efficient in the manner of driving its citizens insane.

[@Uncle_Fatt]

Imagine a magnitude 7 earthquake hitting your city, and instead of coming up with some recovery plan, the mayor just says "But I didn't even do this one!" with mild irritation.

[@BlueSpiceSpace]

I am loving all these golden era Jermstreams, I am looking forward to the video of the one he did at 3am where he started listing the ip addresses of random chatters and looking at their houses on google street view.

[@Psyrus88]

Well that's just fucked. I'd very much like to see this.

[@hmnsdnssx]

LMFAO

[@Blocko_Boi]

Good comment

[@TheSaemiProduction]

Did this actually happen? Or ehm will it happen. It seems reasonable

[@Nathrezim0]

@@TheSaemiProduction Wasn't very reasonable of him to then SWAT the viewers he doxed, but yeah

[@WindowsDevPro]

I like how at once point Jerma literally modeled an entire city after a uterus.

[@matthewlong7547]

You'll never guess what their primary trading partner is shaped like

[@waxmeltfan]

Freudian slip

[@WindowsDevPro]

@@waxmeltfan Freudian slopes

[@Ironsharp]

@@WindowsDevPro Freudian Tubes

[@internalizedhappyness9774]

Freudians coke

[@austinjohnson4551]

how does an Ice cube factory "not have enough raw materials" lmao

[@jmmjjmmjjmmj]

global warming

[@quagernag]

@@jmmjjmmjjmmj Woulnd’t that make more water, hence there’s more raw material for making ice cubes?

[@zeldaau1017]

@@quagernag no no, you don't get it, global warming makes the water so hot that it cooks, not making it a "raw" material anymore

[@mellowmelly9258]

@@quagernag no bc then the ice cubes just melt again

[@surroundgatari]

flint, michigan

[@lopamurblamo]

GUYS I GOT SUCKED IN AND HAVE BEEN TRAPPED IN WINK DINK CITY III FOR A YEAR I ONLY JUST GOT ACCESS TO A COMPUTER PLEASE LET ME OUT

[@Minersteev]

shoulda been more careful around wormholes.

[@GermanKerman]

U ok?

[@kylerc7343]

@@GermanKermanhe lived… 😢😢

[@Sweld549]

@@GermanKerman He ran out of money. Some say he's still trapped between toll booths thirty two and thirty three to this day.

[@BallonEEE.]

⁠@@Sweld549he would have ditched the car by now if he didn’t REALLY want to park by the statue of liberty

[@thelegalsystem]

I like how Jerma makes all these assumptions about how complex game systems work and they're almost always wildly incorrect.

[@greenoftreeblackofblue6625]

All he had to do was read the fucking Manual, but Noooo "Am Human I-I'm better than paper writing of a Manual that isn't Human." Like what the fuck Jerma do you not know how books work?

[@firstnamelastname-oy7es]

He does it with simple games too, invents rules out of thin air then follows them to failure. Like insurance fraud in Saints row.

[@snkybrki]

@@firstnamelastname-oy7es Wait what? What did he do in insurance fraud? I didn't even know he played SR

[@genderender]

@@snkybrki he got too skrunk when playing

[@Mystic-Midnight]

I love how the Meteor hit Jerma's golden spot of the city. The fucking Hospital, Fire station, Police Station, both elementary schools and the highschool AND the connector between the other island and the rest of the city

[@Xzeihoranth]

Jerma talks about his school days like he's unearthing long-lost memories or reciting slam poetry.

[@junkdog4138]

I mean, he is 154 years old. They are long-lost memories

[@bogmanhimself4656]

17:22 actual footage of city planners designing portland oregon

[@rinstead5769]

That made me fucking laugh

[@DUKEHadToDoItToEm]

I read this and thought "huh"? Double tapped to fast forward 5 seconds and nearly spit out my drink

[@FloofMother]

It looks like one of those Timelapse’s where the person knows exactly what they’re doing but that is objectively not what is happening

[@thescaredshadow]

Even the meteor was disgusted with Jerma's uncentered bridge.

[@JomasterTheSecond]

how dare Jerma cheat like this. he betrayed my trust and built a community pool with it. what a great streamer he is +2

[@ponponpatapon9670]

he can't manage money for his LIFE. how is he not HOMELESS? +2.

[@UnDedCharger]

Maybe this will finally win him a game award

[@tajkoreddeninthearctic194]

You. You are my opportunity. What is this +2 -2 business and is it exclusive to Jerma

[@JomasterTheSecond]

@@tajkoreddeninthearctic194 There's a post on the Jerma wiki about it (yes, there's a Jerma wiki). I'll quote it here. "+2 and -2 come from when Jerma streamed Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days with Etalyx. They set a timer, and their goal was to beat the game within 4 hours. However, for every good joke they made they got 2 minutes added to the clock, and for every bad joke they made they got 2 minutes taken from the clock. The audience would voice their opinions by typing "+2" or "-2" in the chat. In the end the two streamers were just barely successful, finishing the game with 45 seconds remaining. After this, chat continued to use +2 and -2 to tell Jerma whether any of his jokes were landing or not, becoming something of a meme."

[@EpicButStillPissedOffGamer]

@@tajkoreddeninthearctic194 when he gets a +2, $2 is subtracted from his total debt. -2's are added to the pile. This is not unique to Jerma; but it is a strange way to manage your finacials.

[@PopSusi]

I love Jerma's editors so much, they're super skilled too. Like Jerma reading to build rectangle streets and then cutting to Jerma making rectangle roads on the triangles. Or saying "I don't have enough money for this" and then to him demolishing the roads is so funny to me.

[@catpokemon2236]

Also the “I’ll turn off infinite money right after this” and cuts to him building more shit

[@Amybnunny]

They do a real good job of capturing the madness of what it's like to watch him live. The only thing that doesn't translate into edits is just how much time he spends on some of this stuff.

[@vincentmoncalamari510]

Jerma: *Builds spaceship launch site* Also Jerma: “Why am I LOSING MONEY??”

[@AWormsPurpose]

Jerma's second new city looks like when you were 10 and tried to invent your own cool logo or symbol

[@kinoko6096]

Holy shit I didn’t know other people did this

[@CityState_of_Valletta]

Pretty fucking good one might I add I’d join his team

[@Patrick.Weightman]

**names NPC "chat"** **NPC proceeds to waste as much of Jerma's time as possible**

[@whynotll83]

Imagine while at a baseball game you look at the big screens and you see a red and black pulsating mass.

[@vvwvwwvwwv]

Funniest shit I've ever seen

[@Brasbu]

LMAO i'm dying ᵒʰ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᵗ ᵖᶦᶜᵏᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ

[@SwizzleDrizzl]

@@Brasbu the idea of The Horror PICKING someone to kill instead of it being random is fucking horrifying

[@sleepCircle]

@@SwizzleDrizzl it has to be sentient in order to figure out how to make everyone laugh. it has to read their thoughts to mirror back something that will trigger that response.

[@gigginoxplayer]

Imagine you’re a road worker and you just see your contracter come in, grab a sharpie in each hand, terrifyingly scribble across the whiteboard before smearing shit on it, and then he goes; “I think we can use this.”

[@Calzilla-yd8qg]

Imagine walking into your town's new amusment park and getting a official text from the city oridence declaring your name is now "chat"

[@riffofthegods]

jerma has never seen a progression system in his life

[@deud.]

jerma's idea of a ritzy high school is one with a McDonald's and Wendy's inside

[@spencykings3182]

fucking obsessed with this assumption. when i think of a ritzy high school my first thought is a high school with fucking mcdonalds and a wendy's in the cafeteria. what? huh? how is that ritzy to you, jeremy? how is your first thought when presented with the concept of "ritzy high school" fast food in the cafeteria? this man is out of his fucking mind

[@dymaxion3988]

It makes sense from a very specific, stereotypical or cartoon-character-like teen mentality. It made me think of a part in one of the diary of a wimpy kid books, where a kid gets dropped off at school mid-day and brings fast food for his lunch, and since greg’s mom is a square who doesn’t get fast food very often, he begs for a fry and is given half of one from the bottom of the bag.

[@FloofMother]

It’s literally just a mall

[@TheMimicBox]

We say Grand Re-Re-Re Opening but to be honest we've had to reopen the city 17 times this month.

[@snaek2594]

Welcome. Welcome to city 17.

[@Rezuaq]

​@@snaek2594 You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our last remaining non-meteorised urban centers.

[@galacsinhajto]

He placed all those roads like he was an alien just getting familiar with the concept of human settlements, and then he had the audacity to tell chat to "look at Google maps". I love this man so much.

[@tokidokiaudiobooks]

The river parting was god leading his chosen people out of a metaphorical egypt

[@itsyaboiguzma]

The center the bridge or we're not talking was a great riot to witness first hand.

[@Livingroomset799Dep]

If we didn’t trust Jerma to build an amusement park what makes him think we trust him to live in a city he designed

[@mangoruby1357]

Oh my god it’s the game grumps let’s play of majoras mask

[@snkybrki]

@@mangoruby1357 I'm sorry, but what the fuck is that pfp?

[@mangoruby1357]

@@snkybrki i would answer you but youtube keeps shadowbanning my comments

[@mangoruby1357]

@@snkybrki Imp Tan original art is by Xiang Wong

[@snkybrki]

@@mangoruby1357 Lol, they don't want the sauce

[@Smitty_Werbluntjaegermanjensen]

Not enough raw materials at the ice cube factory right down the street from a massive lake

[@maksimblya192]

"No that's cheating. That's actually cheating." - Streamer who has been cheating the entire time

[@pyritepanx]

Even though jerma was going to take us into the city against our will, there is no way I am not gonna move to a city called Wink Dink City

[@kyledelabear7091]

20:59 BILLIONAIRE streamer DESPERATELY tries to convince chat he's an AVERAGE JOE

[@G0R3SP1LL]

everytime he makes a road or something it sounds like he’s making the noise and it’s been freaking me the fuck out

[@hoticeparty]

Baked commenter

[@anyalaASMR]

@@hoticeparty 💀💀💀

[@THEGarbageMammal]

At 12:00 my KZbin crashed and the video had the "Problem during playback" screen and I sat there for like 2 minutes thinking this was a really elaborate bit. It wasn't.

[@doifhg]

Mayor jerma freaking out after a meteor wipes out a quarter of his city, and the first statement from his office is bulldoze the bridge and build a bigger bridge

[@memesdotpng466]

17:24 jerma designs his hometown of Boston on a 1:1 scale

[@mayochupenjoyer]

SO REAL

[@scavenqers]

jerma got a victorian understanding of motion

[@zenhendershott7907]

He could have just, like, done a "chill city building stream, let's chat" thing but he decided to have a guilty conscience

[@tbg8365]

The road placement sound just sounds so much like a noise Jerma would make, I thought it was him whenever it played

[@chuckbatmangaming]

Something about him ranting about the spinny circle amusement park rides as incredibly loud animal roaring sound effects play is just surreal

[@Elemtree]

“I shall now save the fish from drowning in this water” 25:45

[@DeSaxofoonVanPeter]

I did not go to a private school, I did not - Jeremiah Elbertson the Fourth, Esq.

[@moshkitteh]

Forget about the roads, Marty. We'll do them later.

[@rhettshanley8712]

2:10 LMAO the ice cube factory doesn’t have enough materials to make ice cubes when it’s literally raining outside 😂

[@11TehDude]

The ice cube factory being "out of raw material" during a thunderstorm is hilarious

[@funnyskeleton47]

wow, pre-peeping horror jerma was super chill

[@muggins2279]

I really enjoy how jerma faithfully recreates the street layout of Pittsburgh PA at 17:28

[@hollyhaft3511]

Streamer gets mad that things are expensive then steals THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FROM MIDDLE CLASS

[@grugthecaveman4565]

Jerma sucks at road laying design because he is only used to the chaotic nightmare of Boston infrastructure.

[@Jeffery-do6ey]

Jerma as the city planner: we can get a refund after a natural disaster, right?

[@wantedwario2621]

I wonder if Jerma has ever even been to a town before

[@orangesilver8]

I like that Jerma doesn't know you can just turn buildings off to stop paying for their upkeep instead of bulldozing it.

[@LordOfDegeneracy]

I've had kidcuisine twice and threw up both times, though I still think I would trust it more than jermas cooking

[@Owen.Fallon]

What possesses you to go back after the first time?

[@LordOfDegeneracy]

@@Owen.Fallon I was a child, hell if I know

[@Vikezor]

INSANE streamer BELIEVES the left-brained-or-right-brained myth

[@captainmartinwalker2848]

CLUELESS streamer doesn’t even know the DIFFERENCE between the two

[@TheAurelianProject]

@@captainmartinwalker2848 He’s so clueless he literally used his right brain to creatively describe how small he thinks his right brain is.

[@Bready_Player_Bun]

Dangerously unstable streamer declares confidently and with pride that he has half a brain.

[@Nada-fj8ij]

Wink Dink city looks like the kind of place to make you want to be homeless

[@stevenscottdubrowski7473]

Jerma: no i dont want to play in boston *proceeds to actually make a city layout as shitty as boston*

[@NintendoProtonChugga]

Glad jerma opened this video about food poisoning safety, I can't think what I'd do without his advice

[@AdamKlownzinger]

Infamous Streamer Reaches New Low, Overcome With Laughter At Structural Devastation of Small American Town

[@jordynensor2081]

i see your comments all the time

[@Jon-Patrick-S]

I dont understand why he designed a city based on a uterus

[@athousandfeethigh]

My public school was a few years after Jerma. By then, we'd replaced every food and food group with Square Pizza.

[@DovahFett]

Jerma playing Cities: Skylines with EUIV and CK2 soundtracks in the background is probably the closest we'll ever get to seeing him play either of those franchises.

[@michael120.]

good

[@NicholasEzclapz]

Sad, would be funny to see chat blow a blood vessel watching him.

[@jackgurney6961]

:(

[@nahuatl3092]

I would rather Jerma stream literal porn and get banned than stream paradox games

[@snkybrki]

@@nahuatl3092 Granted, I would rather see most streamers stream porn and get banned over most things

[@50bottlesofpinklemonade]

props to jerma for making the only good looking Cities Skyline city ever

[@bigbubble4282]

It's so surreal hearing music from CK2 and EU4 in a Jerma video.

[@PsychoBenches]

17:28 Jerma's rapid descent into madness

[@SapientialPogonophobic]

22:36 someone from the crowd yelling “He got steak” is exactly when the people at his rally would have rioted and Mussolini’d him

[@SpinelessJohn]

Can you imagine living on a roundabout

[@2fortsmostwanted]

No, Jeremy, the reason these games are hard is because you're building with one half of your ADHD brain partially present and everything the other half of your brain does is being controlled by hundreds of people in a mob mentality communicating through single sentences and threats

[@BlueSpiceSpace]

Its a serious mindfuck to here "The CK2 music" in Cities Skylines. I think I am making an epic medieval dynasty then bam, traffic

[@naworshea]

the entire self-reflection at 18:00 fucking gets me

[@Marsupial2]

20:40 our Highschool is literally in a neighborhood

[@bigbeeftomatoes]

jerma is like a modern day mr rogers, but sicker

[@Patrick.Weightman]

"I'll show you how to make money" proceeds to lose all of it to a meteor

[@kamalindsey]

I cried laughing when the meteor hit square in the middle of his city.

[@singledigitdan]

jerma dollhouse part 2 but it’s chat inhabiting a jerma controlled city for a week

[@connorbrown2194]

remember when moses pahted the moses rivah

[@JewishFrog]

Is this Jerma's long lost twin brother? He sounds very similar... It's been so long since Jerma passed away, this guy reminds me of him so much.

[@ba3ty]

Tragic, the horror was too much for him

[@copyrightstrike4666]

I hope he continues the tradition of peeping the horror, the streams are so much more exciting when your life is in mortal danger at all times

[@JewishFrog]

Amen.

[@enashimo]

Is Jerma's long lost twin brother dead?!?? I thought this whole time he's stuck at a basement somewhere still completing the 700,000 games game

[@FrostyFin]

How do they keep electing the same guy who builds a giant mess of a city then bails out?

[@thewheatness]

Gerrymander Andy

[@darkeyeshadows]

I cannot get over how much the sound that plays when you place a structure sounds like the vine boom sound effect. Every time it happens I just imagine it being like the punchline to whatever he says before it and it's playing because he was like 'this looks good' and just made the single worst cities: skylines decision possible

[@GuyMaleMan]

27:30 Jerma confirms what we all knew, that chat is collectively an uneducated adult

[@Beefaroni_Bert]

jerma eating steak-ums for lunch at school makes a lot of sense now

[@amoraobscura]

the steak-ums got to him :(

[@benjaminmorris7159]

private school percival

[@bentenigan573]

Middle age streamer PSYCHOTICALLY defends HORRIFIC building practicies!

[@bashfulwolfo6499]

20:45 The HS I went to was right in the backyards of houses. There’s also houses right next to (like, only separated by a fence) the elementary school I went to.

[@zimeron1]

Wherein Jerma is faced with his own hours upon hours of shitposting in the form of a singular enormous, mandatory toll road made mostly of dirt

[@jamishmcquo7590]

the two town districts battling each other with nukes and shit reminds me of 2fort on tf2

[@cdwell3810]

If you can’t live without that sweet sweet toll booth money then you shouldn’t have it

[@6Metal6militA6]

as a european, its rly funny how much hes focusing on roads and highways

[@hada__02]

America Brain syndrome

[@m3gasn1p3r]

The water travels upwards in jerma's broken world

[@Uber-Mann]

How dare mayor Jerma abandon Wink Dink City and then lie to the residents of Wink Dink City II and tell them the reason he left was because they were "eating each other" 3:14

[@vincenttorrijos9680]

The sheer insanity of his city building makes me REALLY want to see how he handles Dwarf Fortress

[@MsCounterMax]

"DO RECTANGLES" scream people from Chicago

[@VitorsDen]

15:33 his city looks like the diagram of a womans reproductive system

[@catfactsvids]

Here before it was mass-flagged and set to private.

[@ohnesorgen4642]

27:25 "Chat" "Uneducated adult" Checks out

[@TalkingSoup]

the amusement park sounds are fucking auditory hell