Women Who Hate Women, Men Who Love Them

Female misogyny is outcome of:
1. Masculinization of women (competitiveness, ambition), unigender. Same as male. Gender is no longer a determinant in mental health. We live in a unigender world. Back to hunter-gatherer societies where women hunted with men.
2. Rise in female narcissism and psychopathy: choice of “alpha” male role models (girl boss, future is female, raunch culture).
3. Scarcity of eligible male partners (gender asymmetry owing to disparities in education, earnings, and elevated standards). Many men perceived as effeminate losers.
4. Schizoid atomization, self-sufficiency, negative identity.
5. Intolerance of variance and nonconformity, hierarchy.
6. Identity politics, competitive and performative victimhood.
MeToo is opposite of solidarity: 1. Patronizing-condescending 2. Infested with dark personalities 3. Negative identity (misandry) 4. Coercive.
Three types of masculinities
1. Neo-Traditionalist: The Guardian of Tradition
2. Egalitarian: Partners in Balance
3. Progressive: Pioneers of Gender Equity
LITERATURE
John L. Oliffe, Mary T. Kelly, Nina Gao, Jennifer Mootz, Zac E. Seidler, Simon M. Rice, Neo-traditionalist, egalitarian and progressive masculinities in men's heterosexual intimate partner relationships, Social Science & Medicine, Volume 333, 2023, doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2....
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...

[@blackgoldeneye]

Thank you so much for speaking about this!

[@nadiahassan1195]

This makes me understand this phenomenon better, thank you Sam.

[@TheHSoko]

Thank you for this discussion. I have not heard this anywhere else. Love the points you made.

[@TheMazinoz]

Yes, interesting analysis.

[@helenapayne3414]

Thank you! This makes a lot more sense from what I’ve seen around me.

[@BobKnuth-pi9zn]

All true, very disheartening and not a thing we can do about it. Young men have put their dating life on pause with out any plan or direction. Thanks Professor Vaknin you are amazing.

[@TheMazinoz]

❤Not just men having to deal with narcissistic / psychopathic / anti social females. I have twin sisters in my apartment building like this. Now past counselling and looking at legal remedies. Their behaviour is harassing, lying and abusive but not the level for an AVO. But probably Body Corporate legal action after Adjudication which should be fun. Fortunately for me they have put some things in emails that reveal their personality.

[@asiaolejnik4593]

We are screwed!😅

[@AnaPaulinacom]

There was a book out about "Men who hate Women and the Women who love Them" kind of a Twist lest we also forget Men who HATE Men!

[@tinachristine4573]

I'm listening to the audio book at the moment. Very scary stuff.

[@jabril520001]

Easy solution to all this drama between men and Wo-MAN. Avoid it. Don't date the Wo-MAN Don't marry the Wo-MAN. Wo-MAN should not date or marry men. Greater forces, beyond our control have created the western matrix. Nothing we can do to control it. Best thing to do is hunker down. Be alone. Leave them alone Do your own thing. Get a dog or cat. Be happy and content alone

[@marianneolivierhagg5053]

Thank you ❤

[@MajorCockbern]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@Sadbuttrue-ThatSwedishGirl]

I'm really sorry for your hurt. I understand that it can feel overwhelming. I've been there. All you can do is live your life focus on yourself and do things that you like, or used to like. You can't control what she feels or do. You want her to be someone she is not and she wanted you to be someone you are not but she accepted that you weren't and took off. Do you want to be with a person who doesn't want and accept you as you are?

[@myinquisitiveself]

Are sure it's love and not limerence you're feeling? Constant thoughts would be a red flag for me. Either way, I wish you healing.

[@user-yg4uc5fg4l]

I'll pray for you 🙏🏽 It's going to be okay

[@Gheir-xe4mv]

We need a female vision of positive virtue, a character building ideology and code. One that men can accept and other women can replicate. The modern day woman jesus haha.

[@divisadero8859]

What for?

[@cynthiadidier977]

schizoid here

[@TA-ln8qs]

Pretty much spot on.

[@sunnysmile4642]

So true and so unfortunate!

[@Hannah82271]

BRILLIANT ❤

[@shallowwatersoriginal]

Ah finally someone!

[@shallowwatersoriginal]

There are lots of polarizations and mixes happening like in between Asians and africans they are swaying media to mix them into marriage and family. Both polars are disrespected by this policy but I guess there is money in that.

[@katelynmartinek8389]

The Neo-traditional masculine man would also think “I can’t drink this pink smoothie, it will make me look girly.”

[@footyking2657]

It's a big issue these days. It is in every home. There is enemity between two genders now. It's a very painful situation.

[@christianzelinka2071]

bravo

[@productioninquiries881]

The issue is neo-traditional men who cling to those values but can't fulfill the structural requirements of their own ideals. The cognitive dissonance sets in and here we are.

[@jaydamalley3398]

Then...allow them to? By giving them back their fathers? And male teachers and mentors? Holding women equally accountable in family and divorce courts? I could go on..

[@productioninquiries881]

@jaydamalley3398 Who is holding the men who wilfully abandon their children responsible? Responsible parents raise their kids. Most women raise their kids. You're offering a litany of questions while having no answers.

[@jaydamalley3398]

@@productioninquiries881 The answers are in the questions. I thought that was obvious. Men who abandon their families are usually the ones who had no father themselves. It all starts and goes downhill from there. And who's holding them responsible? You mean all those men who are in jail in the US for not being able to pay for the child support and alimony? Or men not even being allowed to see their children, because the mother doesn't want them to, despite still carrying the financial responsibility? What you label 'neo-tradionalism' is simply called reality. "What do men have to do in order to be (personally) responsible". Only to be denied the opportunity.

[@productioninquiries881]

@jaydamalley3398 So every man who's abandoned his child is a fatherless inmate. Got it. Who's gonna hold their fathers accountable? Financially responsible fathers who can't see their children? You must not know what joint custody is. What's 'neo-traditionalism,' have you watched any videos on it lately?

[@jaydamalley3398]

@@productioninquiries881 _"So every man who's abandoned his child is a fatherless inmate. Got It."_ I said *usually.* There will always be bad fathers. There will always be people who had a stable two-parent childhood, who'll go off the rails. And vice versa, people who had a traumatic upbringing that will keep it together and perform. But in general, fatherless homes means a high rise in behavioral problems. And yes, I know what joint-custody is. Family and divorce courts, however, don't seem to value it. Hence part of my first response. Lastly, I said NEO-traditionalism, because YOU said neo-traditionalism. Not non-traditionalism.

[@kellysownytube1599]

Another very thought provoking lecture Professor Vaknin. I have searched your channel for this topic and have not found it. The topic if you could please cover it is the trend ( well at least it seems a trend I have noticed) of straight hetrosexual women that love to have close friendships with homosexual men, and why they prefer these relationships including freindships with other women?

[@danielzlatic3943]

Holy moly…it felt like you were describing me when you defined the archetype of a Neo-traditional masculine man…both the positive and negative aspects of the definition

[@dila01]

Uncle please write a book about this topic 🙏🏽

[@samvaknin]

www.amazon.com/Death-Sex-Demise-Monogamy/dp/1521121206

[@dila01]

@@samvaknin thank you!

[@jabril520001]

American matrix of individualism promotes narricistic tendicies?

[@kai2247]

Is there same kind of men who hate men and women who love them?

[@shannonluck5066]

Dr. Sam, Thank You for your work! What a fantastic lecture 🎉... This explains Women and Men today and the unfortunate gender War... 😢

[@divisadero8859]

It does not, really. It just free pass to half of the population and you like it.

[@user-yq6zm3eu4s]

Where can I find these creatures? 🤔

[@molotovmafia2406]

i´m an anarchist gender abolitionist and pretty much like what the hunter-gatherers had going on in terms of gender. i believe if we lived completely free, with no systems of power and no conditioning into gender roles whatsoever, the difference between the genders would be minimal, although still existing in some spheres. however, i hate what we have going on with society and women themselves somehow getting the worst of masculinity (competitiveness and aggression) and femininity (victim narratives). also, the polarizing and commodified neoliberal gender wars. about the masculinizing part - it's true; as a little girl, most of my heroes or people i wanted to emulate were men or very masculine women. that's what i thought was cool for everyone, just like some of my feminine traits, like being agreeable, were uncool! that's part of the frustrating "not like other girls" trend among younger women. i disagree that psychopathy and narcissism are inherently masculine illnesses. it's just that before women were underdiagnosed and overlooked (and if diagnosed, it was more likely to be with something like hysteria and in later years, bipolar). also it's a fact that women are conditioned to be better at masking their socially unacceptable or toxic traits, expected to be the "moral compass of society" and god knows what, allowing them to go under the radar. for centuries, this mask, designed to appease men and others in authority positions, has been their main defensive mechanism. and in some cases, their chance of getting away with evil deeds...

[@molotovmafia2406]

@@Barox213 yeah, it's pretty prevalent among women.

[@SoniaSonia-qw1zo]

Everybody is allowed their opinion , unbothered

[@Martin.Krischik]

That would include those who disagree with you.

[@yasmeennasir8286]

You just discribed how some women went after Cassie, yet protect men & women like Diddy * or Gloria Alred who is implying Scott Peterson is innocent.. its wild out here

[@hannahcando6496]

OMG IS THIS ABOUT PICK ME GIRLS?????????? IVE BEEN WAITING!!!!!!

[@kai2247]

You dont look bad, especially for you age! at all! 😀

[@Pete-uv4bu]

So when are we going to get the talk on misandry?

[@divisadero8859]

Never, because patriarchy... Makes sense, eh?

[@marcolivier1307]

@@divisadero8859 How's that ?

[@divisadero8859]

@@marcolivier1307 That was sarcasm, if that wasn't clear enough.

[@marcolivier1307]

@@divisadero8859 Haha, okay thanks. Well "me too" (to join the sarcasm lol), I so wish Sam Vaknin would make that video, and reading your comment, I thought I was short on catching some interesting argument yet to be developed. (Is there? I'd be interested to read) Thanks for replying.

[@RPMentorTokyoChannel]

Hence the shift from a commitment skepticism bias to the female equivalent of the men's sexual overperception bias: commitment overperception bias. This, I think will play out similarly in that, the more narcissistic they are, the more likely women will be to assume the man is willing to commit to her.

[@TheMazinoz]

Or they get pregnant to guilt them into marriage before the man realises what he is actually getting into, and then there is a child. In case it matters I'm female and observed this a few times.

[@RPMentorTokyoChannel]

@@TheMazinoz I actually made a video no this called The Implications of "You Got Me Pregnant!"

[@ahmad.s5023]

Mr. Sam, how are you? I am from Jordan. I was subjected to narcissistic abuse from a narcissistic wife for twenty years. I summarize my situation with the following pictures and the difference between a healthy relationship and a narcissistic one.

[@ZoltarFTW]

I have many ideas about this topic but I will try to keep it to a few: 1. Women have not fully become men do to the paradox of the women's movement demanding that a) women should be treated equally as men in all ways and b) women require special protection and assistance when dealing with men and a masculine world. Thus, while women expect and are expected to interject themselves into male spaces and male roles, they still do not expect and are not expected to have to stand-up for themselves as men would. Many arguments and disagreements between men always have an underpinning of the potential of physical violence, something that women are not expected to have to engage in (especially against a man) and indeed are actively seeking protection from this, in both public and private life (workplace harassment laws and domestic violence laws, which, while on paper are usually written to be gender-neutral are frankly defacto written with the idea of male perpetrator and female victim at their core in my view). Unfortunately, I think that this ultimately leads to resentment amongst men against women (and perhaps female misogyny) as the supposed equality between the sexes is underscored by the defacto legal and social predisposition to take the woman's side in any conflict between a man and a woman. This would create dissonance for men and an inability to truly, fully see his partner or women in general as fully equal. Ultimately I feel that men and women (or at least their respective movements/ gender-specific ideologies), have entirely different understanding of equality/equity (the later of which I believe to be as practically unobtainable as its proponents seem to continuously move the goal posts , making it seem as if it will never be fully realised, see why there are still many programs to advance women in certain male dominated fields but relatively few programs to advance men in female dominated fields...not that many man seem to show up regardless ). 2a. Woman's empowerment until this point has, in my opinion, been almost entirely dependent on the liberal-democratic-capitalist welfare state/ world order. I remember doing a paper in university trying to determine what a "feminist" state would look like and the closest I could come up with as an example would be Scandinavia (I specifically used Sweden). The most important take away from that paper for me was that the welfare state played a crucial role in women's empowerment ( I remember reading somewhere that upwards of 75% of public sector workers in Sweden were female) and that there were significant handouts to families, most of which either directly went to women or were designed to allow women into the work force (child benefits and public daycare for example). They can accomplish this because they had a high marginal tax that the majority of people were paying into (there were only two or three brackets), and that most of the money was based on income. Thus, it would stand to reason that much of this money came from men's income and that it would be, effectively, redistributed to women, meaning that while technically women were independent from men on an individual level, they were still collectively dependent on men through the medium of the welfare state ( I remember in a video you did with a certain man many years ago, you mentioned that welfare state spending was 9 to 1 in favour of women in some countires. Also, there was a study, I believe in 2020, from New Zealand that suggested when you take into account welfare state spending, including employment in the public sector, women effectively never pay taxes as they receive more over their lifetime than they put into the system). This however is not a set in stone situation, as either a reversal in gender roles (men working in public sector more or staying at home more), or an income source not based on personal income (natural resources, massive trade surpluses, somehow getting corporations and the ultra-rich to actually pay the taxes they probably should be paying) could alleviate this discrepancy between men and women in the population at large. 2b. The deterioration in the global security situation threatens the order that women's empowerment is predicated on. One clear example would have been the Taliban reconquering of Afghanistan post American withdrawal, where in about three weeks they completely undid twenty years of women's advances. The second is the Russian invasion of Ukraine. It is a miracle for the feminist movement that the Ukrainians were so brave and the Russians were so incompetent, for if not European feminism would begin to look down the road to increasing irrelevancy. You had mentioned, Professor Vaknin, that you believe that the world should return to Real Politik in its global affairs. I am afraid that Real Politik has little time for women's emancipation as state self-interest takes precedence over any individual's self interest, ( see that both Russia and China, amongst other mainly right leaning countries are trying to influence women to have many children. States need soldiers and workers for many generations, not just one or two). And while global warming might not be the biggest, closest threat, it will certainly exacerbate the breakdown in the global order. The further this order breakdown, should it occur would put women's emancipation in serious jeopardy, simply because woman's emancipation is simply too intertwined with the liberal global order of the last few decades. 3. Lastly, and this is a bit pedantic, can it really be called a "matriarchy" if there is no femininity that underscores its ideology. If women are "becoming men" ( although as I mentioned previously, I don't think this is fully true) then wouldn't it simply be a different form of patriarchy? Never mind that those who run it are still dependent on the other to sustain them and support the structures in place ( an amusing flip on the feminist concept of women's unpaid labour underpinning the structure of "patriarchy" now that I think about it). Alright, that's enough. If I go any longer this comment will turn into a Master's thesis. Once again, excellent video.

[@martinestarot4703]

2a. Woman's empowerment until this point has, in my opinion, been almost entirely dependent on the liberal-democratic-capitalist welfare state/ world order. I remember doing a paper in university trying to determine what a "feminist" state would look like and the closest I could come up with as an example would be Scandinavia (I specifically used Sweden). The most important take away from that paper for me was that the welfare state played a crucial role in women's empowerment ( I remember reading somewhere that upwards of 75% of public sector workers in Sweden were female) and that there were significant handouts to families, most of which either directly went to women or were designed to allow women into the work force (child benefits and public daycare for example). They can accomplish this because they had a high marginal tax that the majority of people were paying into (there were only two or three brackets), and that most of the money was based on income. Thus, it would stand to reason that much of this money came from men's income and that it would be, effectively, redistributed to women, meaning that while technically women were independent from men on an individual level, they were still collectively dependent on men through the medium of the welfare state ( I remember in a video you did with a certain man many years ago, you mentioned that welfare state spending was 9 to 1 in favour of women in some countires. Also, there was a study, I believe in 2020, from New Zealand that suggested when you take into account welfare state spending, including employment in the public sector, women effectively never pay taxes as they receive more over their lifetime than they put into the system). This however is not a set in stone situation, as either a reversal in gender roles (men working in public sector more or staying at home more), or an income source not based on personal income (natural resources, massive trade surpluses, somehow getting corporations and the ultra-rich to actually pay the taxes they probably should be paying) could alleviate this discrepancy between men and women in the population at large. - idiotic generalizations. I live in East Europe, am 34, have been working since 23, have never gotten any welfare or any special support from the state. Yet, I pay taxes. In over 8 years of full time work, I have only taken 1.5 weeks of medical leave. I know men who have drained the state benefits to a far greater extent than I ever have. I would say these studies are ridiculous, and even if true, they might show general tendencies of behavior and not universal truths. The fact that there are many women depending on state support has nothing to do with feminism, it's about covert communisms, and should be treated as such. Failure to target the real problems just shows men would rather let things go badly in society in order to have the excuse of attacking women's rights, in general.

[@katrionalaurenm]

Too many words, not enough logic 😂

[@ZoltarFTW]

@@martinestarot4703 I should have specified that this was meant in a Western Europe/ Anglosphere context (although lesser in some U.S "red states"). Having said that , when you mention covert communism, I would say that there is a link between Feminism and Socialism/Communism, at least in the way in which the Feminist movement has gone about attempting to gain economic and social empowerment through state action and resources. In Eastern Europe as you mentioned, the post communist collapse and rebuilding has meant that this context has not played out the same, as you attest to. Even so, these areas are usually regarded to as being less gender equal than the West. My ultimate point is that I believe that the Women's movement is more dependent on the state in order to achieve its goals than the other way around. This does not necessarily have to be the case, I suppose it would be possible to target the "real problems" through non-state means, but I am not aware of any examples of this at scale thus far (I don't really count those isolated matriarchal villages and tribes you sometimes hear about, far too small and disconnected from the rest of the world in my opinion).

[@ZoltarFTW]

@@katrionalaurenm Did you have any example where you think my logic is faulty? I'd be happy to hear your counter arguments.

[@ZoltarFTW]

@@martinestarot4703 Also, the New Zealand study I referenced only accounted for New Zealand welfare state spending, not international welfare state spending. Just to clear that up. It may very well be that the reverse situation is true in Eastern Europe and other parts of the world considered to be less "gender equal/equitable", as you have claimed.

[@teeWright-kq7rk]

Woke BS

[@sacrilegeisrealworship409]

Mmmk