"Why Happy Men Still Cheat!" - WATCH OUT If He Does These 3 Things! | Laterras R. Whitfield

[@Choosingtoelevate]

I’m not a fan of when people say men are physical creatures. Woman are too. It’s called integrity, discipline, consideration. I don’t think it has to do with gender. I do think society gives men an excuse to indulge sexually

[@blackmadonna6024]

So true. I often find that the concept of “biological wiring” is used as a cop-out of responsibility for men

[@GHO5tMod3]

Yes we women look for certain features as well it’s just we’re taught to have sexual control over ourselves because it’s not praised I don’t want a raggedy looking man.. even if he’s rich I do to an extent want someone I am physically attracted to.

[@GHO5tMod3]

@@blackmadonna6024right

[@Magicisreal66]

Look- who's been running the show for a few thousand years now????? They've been allowed to make the rules and indoctrinat and infected the entire society! And they made every f****** one to (THERE FAVOR)! if this world had more DIVINED MASCULINE/ REAL MEN in it, instead of these cowardice giant maggots with appendages, this world would be worthy to live in-

[@eesynopsis7393]

There are nuances woven into this concept. Women can be physical, but not at the **extent** that men are (generally speaking, variations and exceptions to the rule exist). A quote I really love: "Men love with their eyes, women love with their ears" It doesn't mean women can't also appreciate the physical, it means that the way in which we experience the physical differs. That difference matters! It deserves acknowledgment, because it's going to change the dynamic of the relationship.

[@UpdatedView]

As a married man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Everyone isn’t cut out for marriage regardless of gender. It takes an exceptional person to get married and remain successfully married. The marriage and divorce rate numbers are accurate and it takes a special person to indefinitely pair-bond with another person. I pray for the best outcome for everyone. Honestly, there are some great people out there, but they are not great for marriage. God bless 🙏🏾

[@bee-qc3cd]

💯 agree!

[@SyvilleJosephine]

I love what you said. However I don't think it takes an exceptional person as much as it takes a willing person. Married people have to be willing to sacrifice, to honor, to submit...etc. When there is no longer a willingness that's when the door opens for just about anything to happen, especially cheating. I whole heartedly agree that marriage isn't for everyone. It especially isn't for people who feel that their perfect and won't make any horrific choices ever. Marriage is making yourself exceptionally vulnerable to 1 person on every level. That's one of the most difficult yet beautiful things that anyone can experience. I by no means condone cheating or any other behaviors that could potentially ruin a marriage.

[@keepcreationprocess]

​@@SyvilleJosephineI am afraid you are right....

[@lindiasanders3948]

Amen.You said it.❤❤

[@jayneliberty3429]

I feel really really sorry for your wife.

[@Think_Different-xm1kk]

Men who cheat often struggle with emotional intimacy, insecurity and narcissistic tendencies using infidelity as a coping mechanism while prioritizing short term gratification over relationship consequences.

[@lawandalh2387]

Yep this was my ex

[@kelstar994]

" BAM"! 💯

[@theversatilityofawoman462]

So true!!!!

[@MovieObsessed]

My Goodness!!! Spot on!!!

[@shontaywilliams2484]

Dam you are so right!! Hit the hammer on the nail!!

[@belle5287]

I think his wife didn’t desire him sexually because of his poor character and lack of intimacy i.e ignoring her needs and prioritizing his own, but he got offended and resentful instead of trying to find out why she didn’t desire him and fix it so that they could have a great sex life. Seems like she gave up on him because of something he’s not telling. He wanted to hurt his wife because he felt neglected and he knew the other woman would tell her again. He knew what he was doing. It was calculated. If he wanted to divorce with grace, he should have divorced without cheating. He sounds very dependent on women for fulfillment and purpose. He speaks a lot about his needs his needs his needs

[@TheAllison3331]

Well stated

[@optimisticgirl07]

She told him before marriage it wasn't gonna be very Seggsual

[@Jackie-g2p]

Character respect morals dignity trustworthiness, strength, integrity communication self worth !!!!

[@XTIENNA]

All cheaters speak of.. THIER NEEDS...

[@Scorpio12348]

All cheaters care only about their own selfish needs, they don’t care about you

[@chasity9122]

A person of greed, no discipline, no self control, and no boundaries is a person who cheats

[@monsiebabe2817]

Pereach! Soooo disappointing. He made those promises in the eyes of god and in front of all those people. If he put as much effort into his relationship as he did his lies and cheating she'd have been happy for life!

[@debratownsend5495]

Amen🙏🙏🙏

[@judithwalters9104]

😊

[@carolynmurphy3697]

That's me and I've never cheated

[@butterflies8089]

A person who truly doesn't care for their own self and life cheats.

[@Theperfect_opinion]

I love how the host called him out saying of course she never gave you herself fully, you cheated on her, so trust was broken. He should’ve been earning back her trust and not expecting her to risk destroying her whole heart, mind, and soul with a cheater who couldn’t get his side piece off his mind.

[@SukhamSpa]

💯

[@tdh72]

It speaks to the amount of people who get married but need healing, counseling, maturity and guidance BEFORE they get married.

[@overcomer4060]

Exactly this.

[@Melan-b4]

Exactly. He was still justifying his actions.

[@deserejones8871]

@@Theperfect_opinion Exactly

[@tee_aj]

I was with him until I heard his contradiction about his wife not fighting for the marriage because she never fully opened herself to him. Earlier on, he mentioned how being a husband is the head of the home so isn’t he to blame for the wife never fully opening up? How do you expect your wife to fully open up to you when you cheated on her prior to your marriage? As the husband and the head, how did he lead with vulnerability and trust that made it easier for his wife to truly be vulnerable with him? His wife was smart to never have fully open up to him. Men like him can destroy women.

[@FindingNeli]

True. Women are incubators we make an experience of what you give us. He gave her trust issues and deception she decided to keep her heart guarded as far as she could and keep her body. Why do we stay?😔

[@Blessed19191]

Exactly

[@Mingchan]

100%! In my opinion, I believe he's actually continuing to harm women with this interview. The amount of people who have said thank you for his perspective is beyond crazy to me! I can understand some of his perspectives but (to me) the amount of shift blaming he does is not okay. It's like another way to manipulate women into thinking they're the problem when their man cheats. Also, it seems like another form of trying to get women to sympathize with a broken male perspective. Which, to me, may keep women stuck in a compassion-harm cycle.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@Mingchan YUP

[@Rossi.K]

But then the question is.. Why did she marry him if she wasn't comfortable? Accountability needs to be taken on both sides. She sounds like she wasn't really interested in him and he was seeking validation from other women to feel better. Not a good match

[@rashida7777]

This is so messed up. Women need to protect themselves.

[@MK-wb1vu]

Makes me not even want to be married. As women we go through so much as it is… it’s just safer to stay single unfortunately!

[@user-yup-you-are-human2]

Exactly

[@vkngwmn6636]

Women don't even want to be involved w men now unless their lives are better for it, they're satisfied being alone and not having their peace disturbed by men who haven't had one thought about their emotional needs

[@rashida7777]

@MK-wb1vu There are other men out there who aren't cads. Maybe, not what you are used to. But that could be a good thing. First, have common sense. Speak about your boundaries and what you are expecting. Going over to your exes home alone is never a good idea. Billy Graham wouldn't get in an elevator alone with a woman. These guys are so pampered by the women themselves and think they're prettier than the woman. They can get a great girl and still have no morals or boundaries and sleep with someone else. Then, gaslight you as if it's your fault. There are men around the world who just want a good wife. I would start educating yourself about them post haste... because the pickings are few.

[@hunnyb1308]

I'm starting to believe that men are just " EVIL" point BLANK!!!! We as women, really need to protect our hearts💯💯💯💯💯❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

[@lovely3873]

Cheating is the most painful act a person can do to his spouse. More than a year after we settled the issue of betrayal but still the pain and anger lingers on till now.

[@jacquestreeter]

Same!

[@Sara2016a]

It’s been 14 years for me and I still didn’t get over it. I know that I never will.

[@carolmaz8675]

Anyone who takes back someone who cheats will never be happy they are only trying to delay what will eventually happen . Yu can never really respect a person who cheats and it Chips away . The magic is gone .

[@lienezake3889]

Betrayal of your closest one is trauma,because recovering from it you literally have to glue together broken peaces of yourself and your ability to trust. Unfortunately I loose respect to anyone who cheats. Can't look at this man seriously, because cheaters talk the talk but don't do the walk😅

[@kittykat69791]

Yes it is,

[@karynmartin2141]

He cheated when they dated, so there was no foundation of trust.

[@renphi17]

100 agree

[@nikevabrown6614]

Many relationships involve cheating during the dating phase. Let’s just call a spade a spade.

[@alandopowell7623]

That's a date not wife yet I have dated women who cheated 4x n I for have them

[@christbeliever4407]

THAT IS WHY HIS WIFE NEVER GAVE ALL OF HERSELF AND RIGHTFULLY SO!

[@soleilwhitton6397]

Perfectly said.

[@marie3161]

Cheating is selfish, childish and extremely hurtful. The innocent one suffers.

[@daughtersofdeborah9532]

No one is innocent

[@marie3161]

@@daughtersofdeborah9532 The one who does not cheat. The one who suffers from cheating. The one who gets a STI or STD. That's the innocent one I'm referring too. Who are you talking about?.

[@vashtikelly6837]

NOBODY WOULD SUFFER IF PEOPLE WERE POWERFUL ENUFF TO LEAVE THE CHEATER....

[@intuitivetarotbytamsyn510]

The children suffered the most.

[@intuitivetarotbytamsyn510]

​@@vashtikelly6837how do you know if they are cheating if they were keeping it a secret?

[@laurajones1474]

If he’s willing to risk his wife’s Health & LIFE by cheating.. Evil

[@MindfulSimpleSolutions]

Cheating is a lack of self-love and self-respect. We must do the inner work and continuously walk the path of self-development and spiritual growth to live a harmonious life with one another ✨🙏

[@lainit.mcneal1666]

Not always.......sometimes it's about a lack of trust, communication and intimacy. Not everyone feels guilty for cheating. The path of spiritual growth is wider than simply not cheating.

[@jasmina5566]

I wholeheartedly agree with you. This man is proof that some times good men fall prey to cheating. Personal development should be lifelong ❤

[@calista1280]

Open heartfelt Communication, listening: really hearing and keeping the CONNECTION with one another is the key to longevity... So grateful to have spent 50 years so far, with the Love of my Life! ❤

[@PeaceforLisa]

It’s simply human nature. It’s actually impossible for one person to “stop” temptation to exist for another person. Many gorgeous and successful women and women have been cheated on. Many spiritually minded folks have cheated. It’s because sex and emotional attachments are extremely tempting. When you are in a relationship there will inevitably become times when you become vulnerable to temptation. Any other belief on this subject is pure fairytale fantasy. Then there are some people who just enjoy a variety of sexual partners but due to social pressures (family, religion, economic necessity) get married. I’m an older woman who wants you young women to face the realities of relationships.

[@719kai719]

​@PeaceforLisa I understand what you're saying but that's not everyone's reality. Every man/ woman doesn't cheat. Some do.

[@Toikag]

I do love that he said he wont give her the same level of grace if she had cheated. It is important for women to know this when they are deciding to give men a million chances. If we live by the golden rule of do unto others as you would like them to do unto you the world would be a better place.

[@ingrid5944]

EXACTLY!!!! Thy have high standards when they pretty much are shit, and we, woman of value, accept their mistakes! We should respect ourselves the way they do!

[@krystalgardiner5591]

Right! Also If every woman stopped putting up with it, men wouldn’t have a choice but to stop cheating, period.

[@Emptytopfloor]

I don’t get women like that at all. Ladies who take back cheaters, have you got no self respect? At least respect and protect your own body.

[@ingrid5944]

@@Emptytopfloor a lot of woman are so afraid of not "being loved the way they were loved by their partner" that they refuse to accept and understand that their partner actually doesn't love them, because they cheated in the first place. Woman want to be loved so much that they forget what is REAL love. I know cause I'm a woman and I have accepted a lot of shit just to keep that man by my side. It's actually really sad

[@camisnyder3460]

@@Emptytopfloorlol, I use to say the SAME THING. Guess what?! My husband cheated on me. You do not understand because you’ve never walked in their shoes and hopefully you never will. It’s hard to build a life and a family with someone else only to see it shattered. Cheating hurts everyone involved, especially children.

[@sennaeddiepalmer7791]

"What you practice when you're single is what you carry into your marriage '.❤

[@mazilyahlyde4073]

Amen 🙏🏽

[@emilykendi567]

Exactly

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

This is absolutely true. The patterns are deeply engrained. Humans are usually very undisciplined and are creatures of habit. Deeply engrained good habits, habits of good character, discipline, integrity are so incredibly precious and valuable. But in a society that only values quick sexual transactions, people are not developing the right bricks for building any kind of relationship. They are only building houses of straw. The first breeze will come and blow the house down and they looking baffled as to why that happened. Upgrade your building materials. That will cost you something. Then make sure the person you want to build with, will not tear the house down. This requires a lot of slowing down in regard to intimate relationships. My opinion of course. 🙏🏽

[@mfinol6762]

This 💯

[@271India]

So true!

[@LonjeMarie7]

SOME men cheat because they LACK integrity, and character. It’s also selfish. PERIOD! absolutely. No one is supposed to supply all of our needs that’s draining on a person and it’s not fair to them. Somethings we need to learn to do for ourselves while maintaining integrity if we really care about the person, we’re in the relationship with ladies take notes men can do it 1 billion times and want grace and forgiveness, if we do it once they can’t handle it, we’re the worlds, worst person, etc. quit taking back these cheating ass men, especially men who cheat over and over again

[@Lolas_World1]

Well said.

[@Isuck784]

My ex-husband cheated on me for 8 years, he was one woman at least a week and in the end I cheated on him once and he almost killed me and to this day he continues trying to get revenge on me, he can't get over it. But I believe he is a Narcissist because he has all the characteristics.

[@vivdoolan6846]

I'd love to see the research you did to draw this conclusion. If there's no research....its a massive assumption.

[@Lolas_World1]

@@vivdoolan6846 Some call it experience. Some call it common sense. Your comment wasn't needed. You wasted your time typing it and gaslighting those who have had to deal with infidelity. That's the WHOLE POINT OF THE VIDEO. A man who cheated tells why he cheated. Duh!

[@AKay-nu5xh]

@@Lolas_World1It’s definitely experience and common sense.

[@christinemarie007]

I was married for 16 years, my ex husband cheated on me for 13 years. He was the one that never wanted sex, I have never refused sex. So the lack of sex is not the reason. He had a lacks of confidence and having other women flirting with him made him feel good about himself. He was very handsom and intelligent but he felt like I was more beautiful and more intelligent than he was. He cheated with women that were not intelligent and not too beautiful so he felt superior and good about himself. It was not because his sexual desire was not met.

[@BlessTheLord552]

All facts

[@bettyboop__]

Oh Waw. It always boils down to their own internal struggles

[@CallieKares]

I understand. Ditto! But after a few years of incongruency, I realized it was a pattern and I was outta there!!!

[@KoreaMojo]

I've been there but not married. Just 6 years wasted. I don't think he thought I was better looking than him because he was bodybuilding when we met and I was losing weight but still chubby. However it was like everyone I found out about has less interest in him than me and less of something else I have without having more "things". It always would be they made him feel desired with novelty, they made him feel needed with objective power disparity, they didn't pay him attention so they couldn't catch he wasn't the man he wanted to be know as. Crazy thing, he could have been happier and everything he was pretending to be but he would rather lie, cheat, stress, underachieve based on his goals not mine, etc. He used sex as a control mechanism and a litmus test for what type of woman they will be: a safe tool or a risky plaything. Neither are valuable positions but both are needed to plaster over issues he will not handle and that will continue to undermine him. Anyone like that needs therapy and alone romantically. Although my ex lied to everyone even his family but again if they paid him mind they could catch inconsistencies and also cries for help because that's what he's looking for: love and attention from them beyond the surface.

[@stepp-uppwithnecol4381]

He sounds like a narcissist too, I hate you dealt with someone like that 😒

[@x-2954]

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Metaspyhub@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

[@jessicathompson5362]

It’s ironic that we can’t talk to our partners but we can tell the internet.😂

[@Timewithmabel]

Exactly 😂

[@merleterry7775]

He's letting other people know that he struggled with his insecurities. Which is good but we have to really believe in God and what God says. The word says that He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing.

[@karynmartin2141]

I know right. 🤔

[@dionemubaiwa9017]

Because he repent

[@nerrissarichards]

That part.

[@STURNER68]

When my husband and I were dating, he said a man that will cheat while dating, will cheat in marriage.

[@sherriflemming3218]

He's right. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record Cheating Trigulation In Sick Relationships ---Sam Vaknin podcast Never Forgive Infidelity - Sam Vaknin podcast

[@annetteswanson5514]

Thankuuu ‼️ ✌️🪶✨️💫

[@aw2bwealthy]

Absolutely!!

[@tymafoitan5117]

❤

[@jacqui.amelie]

He is right I married at 18 and he cheated on me before marriage and I took him back but I left him 3 years later always doubt in my mind.

[@yebosuwa]

Sorry but he threw me off when he said, it's time for divorce, and she didn't fight for me. You betrayed her by cheating before marriage. Once that trust is broken, you'll never experience her the same again. But she still chose to move forward with you, and you broke her again simply because YOUR needs weren't met. There was nothing for her to fight for. You fought against her, and not for her. There is such a big disconnect in how men and women think.

[@michellemcauley2315]

I agree

[@yef1217]

@@michellemcauley2315

[@tdh72]

You are right, there isn't much room in relationships for either partner to have real issues...

[@tdh72]

I get what you're saying totally. He hurt her, therefore she dealt with him in a reserved fashion. Did she have any responsibility to communicate how his infidelity caused her to limit the amount of herself that he would be able to access?? Or should he have known that she wasn't going to ever be what he needed and just known to not get married in the first place?

[@dorothybeu9281]

Great interview could you believe marriage is so complicated this could make a lot of people think twice about il hop

[@terrifields3014]

Why do men cheat!! Because of poor character!! Part to have a good character is having loyalty and honesty!!

[@HolisticManifesting]

Yep, all the rest is just excuses. We all do what we do because we want to.

[@vashtikelly6837]

FOR A PERSON TO CHEAT THEY HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO CHEAT ON....MEN CHEAT BECUZ THEY WOMEN LET THEM AND STAY...

[@zeeonlineworld]

You said it!

[@aproverbs31woman59]

@@vashtikelly6837are you in this space out of guilt or to protect your industry?

[@vashtikelly6837]

@@aproverbs31woman59 I don't have a reason to feel guilty about performing..... but guess what....I also perform for women as well as couples, so I don't have a reason to feel guilty about what another WOMAN is taking off her man...

[@lesareid9432]

Cheating is the lack of self worth, self respect, inadequacy and being selfish. The person who has to cheat is broken and has a lack of integrity. One who lies can’t be honest; one who betrays can’t be loyal and last but not least, one who is experiencing an inner battle cannot give you peace.

[@TB-fk4qm]

Whewwwwwww this right here!!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@hypocritespuninanna9601]

Well said👈🏾💯👈🏾

[@karinesavard2016]

Agree!! 👍

[@msjw1997]

This is the most intelligent conversation I’ve EVER heard from a man who wasn’t a licensed, very well trained therapist. He is so emotionally aware now because he really learned how to be someone with true integrity. BRAVO!👏 👏 👏 👏 👏This is so difficult for most people.

[@NadineTaylor-z2r]

100% I feel like he has put the work in...

[@Dr.KiaPruittOfficial]

❤

[@princesssnowe4089]

Yap

[@Lolas_World1]

You can still do whatever the guy wants, and he'll still cheat. How long does it take for a man to mature!? It boils down to selfishness. I feel like he's still not taking full accountability. He still seems shady to me. He filed for divorce, but he cheated BEFORE, they even got married!

[@aileenkrauchi6553]

It’s not about maturity. It’s about….me me me. That is a character flaw. Not a intellectual development flaw. Immature people don’t deserve to be held in this category. I am sorry this always bugged me when say this.

[@Lolas_World1]

@aileenkrauchi6553 Its all about maturity. You just contradicted yourself. If you are old enough to work, pay bills, and vote they you are expected to behave with a certain level of maturity. It's called an "arrested development" for a reason. A person fails to behave in an appropriate manner, becoming of their age. That has a lot to do with cheating. The act of cheating is selfish ergo the (me me me mentality).

[@zek280]

​@@Lolas_World1 I've been cheated on I've cheated in return 💔 😭 def me me me

[@dr.christinaND]

yes indeed.

[@Pebbles5064]

Exactly 💯

[@Rose-nw9mg]

The minute a man tells me I need this or I’m going to cheat. It sounds like black mail and regardless he’s most likely a cheater anyway. That type of man is not to be trusted. I had two men tell me this and they both cheated anyway. That just tells me he’s a selfish individual and manipulative. Now I always test a man by asking questions and won’t get into a relationship with him if he has this mentality. I won’t even let him know I’m judging him, I’ll just let him know we’re not compatible for these reasons, A, B, C & D. There’s no compromise after that.

[@samco63]

Exactly. Thing is, when they’re single, they wouldn’t be having sex all that much necessarily anyway. Plus, those definitions change and the goal posts move, to justify their actions.

[@mamo812]

Can you kindly share the questions you test men with.

[@delphinathomas8262]

Different desires when GOD'S IN YOU.

[@ojala5555]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏! Yet people are afraid to ask questions because they are are afraid to get disappointed. - Some prefer to live with illusions rather than the harsh truth.

[@Mingchan]

"This type of man is not to be trusted." Exactly. Even now. Manipulation does not just cease to exist in an individual. It is a part of personality which can be managed but it takes a constant sense of self awareness. So, it's crazy to me that people on here are trusting his words NOW. Especially since, to me, he isn't being accountable for his side of the road.

[@moonsyoungestsun6550]

Based on these comments, I see how denial from women continues when it comes to this topic. The guy is describing what a lot of men go through and how they think when dating and in serious relationships. Instead of bashing and over-analyzing him, why not learn from everything he is saying. No matter how much you don't like it, many men (probably the one you're with right now), think and act like this. They might put on an act in front of you but showing signs of being just like this guy. So take this interview as a gift that might save you some heartache.

[@joshuadavis5503]

💯

[@Mary-1000]

How about you take the comment section as a gift and LEARN to be a man of character.

[@thewordsmith5440]

Yeah because if a woman said she cheated on her boyfriend then got married and cheated on him again and again you would call her a 304.

[@gino6658]

EXACTLY!!

[@Dr.KiaPruittOfficial]

I just wrote the same thing. I agree. Learning so much from him as I usually do. I honor and appreciate his transparency.

[@lyndoraburroughs-robinson5663]

This is what happens to Men who don't have proper father's raising them. So weak and sad in their Manhood. Glad that he finally figured out his problems.

[@Blueocean143]

Good to see the other side.

[@bnb0510]

Or a proper mother that doesn’t accept cheating from her spouse.

[@chrisharper7950]

Oh please….now blame it on the dad???? Good Lord.

[@pkp6791]

Not always true. I know guys who have great , loyal fathers who have led by example. They still cannot be loyal to ANYONE. Cheating is a personality trait and character flaw that doesn't change. It is selfish , toxic and indicative of an emotionally immature and spiritually bankrupt person.

[@Talkswithtee302]

I disagree! Not true

[@JUSTME-se4nm]

He wanted her to say that she did not want to lose him? Coming from a woman who has been cheated on and betrayed, she probably felt she had lost him a while ago. 😮

[@ydnassukyaj9131]

She never really had him to begin with.

[@polly8844]

Very well put. She protected herself by not continuing to give 100%, smart girl. Hopefully, we will do the same if we find ourselves in this position prior to ending the relationship.

[@EmpressQueenB]

She sure didn't@@ydnassukyaj9131

[@qc9329]

She lost him when he cheated on her the first time.

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

Of course she felt this way. He literally said after he cheated with that woman, as he left her house, he felt like his marriage TORE APART. And you know what?! It did! He divorced her as soon as he cheated with this woman AFTER MARRIAGE. When you cheat on someone that you are married to, YOU HAVE DIVORCED THEM, because you BROKE THE VOW. Not just to the other person,but you broke the vow you made to GOD. Sometimes I think the resistance of the other partner is not always from THEM. But is from GOD. Because you broke your VOW to Him. There is power in vows and oaths. The Bible says, “do not make a vow IN HASTE”. There are huge consequences in the spiritual realm when you break a vow. That includes breaking promises. So, for men to say they are only in the physical realm, mayday! You are ripe for destruction because your whole spiritual reality is full of darkness and demons when you only focus on the physical realm! You are SPIRIT and ONLY have a body that houses your SPIRIT. If you are DEAD in your spirit, mayday! Breaking vows and oaths will put a label on you in the spirit realm that you are not a person of your word, nor a person of integrity. You lose WEIGHT in the spirit realm. You cheapen yourself. Your word is NOT your bond. Then ppl wonder why ppl don’t trust them. In regard to him cheating before marriage, well his heart was DIVIDED. He talked a lot about his wife not giving him her all, but he has all these soul ties to other women so, he is the one who is really fractured as a person. He has infused his sperm into too many gardens and he is divided in his soul. He can’t give her his all because his percentages are all wrapped up in other women that he doesn’t care about. He may not care about THEM, but there is a yoke there with these other women. A cord between them. This is why just him fantasizing about this other woman “he doesn’t care about” conjured her up in his life! He was making phone calls in the spirit. She probably wasn’t even thinking about him, but he put all his focus and intention on her and then “suddenly” she shows up. Truth is, he never ended that relationship with her and his soul was still KNIT to hers. Even though he did care about her.Doesn’t matter, she has a claim on his soul. His frustration is with himself but it is easy for a man to blame. Remember Adam… all mad at God because of “the WOMAN you gave me.” Really? The woman at least comes clean immediately and says, “I was deceived(I got tricked) this damn snake… but yes, I did eat of the tree.” The man is all pissed off at God. Which is why God had asked him initially, “bruh, where are you?” Because God could see clearly, “you don’t even know what you have done or where you are at. Your moral compass is BROKEN.” If this guy had gotten delivered from the soul ties he had for all those other women, maybe he and his wife could have made it, but he had too many women in their marital bed, and a woman can feel that. She knew she wasn’t the only one in the marriage and perhaps she couldn’t give him 100 percent of herself is because there were too many other percentages in their marriage and there was only room enough for her 75 percent. These are realities.🙏🏽

[@ConversationsWithCarlotta]

They should have never gotten married. Six years of dating and he showed her who he was/is. A cheater.

[@MT-hk9cp]

My question is why did she marry him because he showed you who he was at the time during dating

[@NadineTaylor-z2r]

Yes, Yes and Yes!!! She should have not married him because neither one of them was ready!! Also, part of life is Learning...

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

Major weakness in a lot of us women 😭😭😭 never again. Yep, I’m talking about myself.

[@IamAngelaHodges]

You can't withhold sex from your husband.

[@bnb0510]

I’m in my mid 40’s and the amount of people I know that have or are currently cheating on their spouse’s is insane!

[@christopherjameswright9614]

Dammmmm

[@IAMJEWEL7]

Wow

[@sarahhelmer7902]

I’m happy I’m not married lol

[@Pheneria-dv6zw]

My ex cheated on both wife's but it was red flags and he was divorced twice

[@christopherjameswright9614]

@@sarahhelmer7902 same here I'm staying my ass single. Yes I'll have a women I talk to or kick it with from time to time but marriage isn't worth it nowadays

[@ND-or5so]

Does anyone see how important communication is? You should be talking about everything with your spouse. My husband was too secretive and that's bad because I was willing to talk about everything under the sun. There is only so much I can talk about myself while he's collecting my data. Being secretive is not Ok in a marriage. I said, no more of this and I left.

[@reneebrown9451]

Right I was 7 years with a secretive narcissist. I’m being strong because I’m not sure if he sleeps with men & women

[@zek280]

Me 3 but hubby wanted me to be open

[@polly8844]

My husband was also very secretive. He would listen to me but wouldn't comment. I also left the relationship .

[@polly8844]

​@reneebrown9451 if you wonder whether or not he slept with men, he did. I went through the same thing. Your gut always knows!!!

[@reneebrown9451]

@@polly8844 it’s so sad I’m not sure where these men come from but it’s so many of them.

[@kimberly2934]

To quote Judge Madeline, look deep before you leap. Know the person you're dating before marrying. Don't get married just to say you have a spouse, look at it with long term eyes.

[@Mila-Believer-wife-mamaof3-RN]

He has been cheating on his ex wife even before they were married. And for him to not fight for his marriage whole heartedly after breaking her heart multiple times says a lot! Especially when he expected her to fight for him after everything he put her through. Make it make sense please! Lots of minupulatiom on his end! He has the balls to go in front of millions of people to simply show that he contradicts himself. Oh Lord please have mercy on his soul. Lisa you are an incredible woman for biting your tongue during the times he was trying to make crazy make sense.

[@Mingchan]

This 100%. It doesn't make sense why he left after everything, to me, it was another SELFISH act. This guy seems to be manipulating his audience in selfish forwarding thinking. A wayward should heal themselves but not at the cost of another person. To me, its like he didn't even really try to save his marriage. I think anyone who has been through betrayal can literally smell this out him. I can't believe how many people are following his awful justifications & shift blaming tactics!

[@Mila-Believer-wife-mamaof3-RN]

@@Mingchan right?! Most of those people willing to follow him are more like the people who cheated or trying to find good reasons to cheat, they are trying to justify their cheating. 🫣

[@married2purpose]

Yep. It's crazy that his response to her saying she is glad she never gave her whole self to him or she would have been destroyed... he replied, "and that's why I'm divorcing you." I was mortified. No conscience. No true remorse or humility. He has a vindictive, self centered spirit.

[@Arun71150]

THIS transparency is about cleaning his public image and making money off his shame 11:53

[@tee_aj]

This! I wrote a similar comment how this contradicts his claim of being the head in the relationship. How are you the head but you never led in the way of trust and integrity so that his wife can fully become open to him. He somehow expects the wife to completely give her all when he has never led in showing himself as a safe space. The wife was smart. He sounds so full of it. I actually don’t think he has learned his lessons

[@SonarLegend-gj1yo]

Laterras is fighting sexual perversion. He needs deliverance before ever thinking about getting married again. He believes his sex drive is just high but it's really perversion that entered through insecurities. I hope the women he claims are interested in him proceed with caution.

[@empowermentworshipcenter2132]

Yes, exactly

[@CG-wr4no]

I think the same thing however the way you worded that I'm seeing it at another vantage point. As much as i hate to say this I believe a person is not trustworthy unless they can truly love themselves (healthy self-esteem, self-acceptance, and most importantly self- worth) because if not the forward flow of energy will reverse and the energy will become "perverse" and without the self worth and self confidence in overcoming emotions and inner turmoil it will now become very dysfunctional because the person either isnt able to (doesn't know how, doesn't have enough self awareness, and lacks integrity) or isnt willing to (not worth the effort) it will create many cracks in the foundation, in the walls and the pressure will come out in all sorts of ways. Someone with low self worth will sabotage themselves and their partner. Interesting.. An important part is he went from guilt and shame and it flipped to anger and pride. That was the moment it all changed in this specific scenerio. He didn't deal with the guit and shame and how he got there in the first place (important talks to be had in the relationship) and once she didn't fulfill the story he had in his mind thinking he was going to get scolded (mother issue? Not sure) and she was understanding and considerate about the shower thing. He in an instant flipped to anger/resentment/ rightousness/pride. That IS significant. Undealt shame turns to anger. So even though he no longer had a reason to be ashamed since he didn't process it it turned to anger. And I think also he was angry because the very things he didn't talk to her about that then influenced his decision to do the ky shower he felt unheard and uncared for (similar to how woman can be when we think men should already know whats on our mind so we dont have to say it out loud.) I think he was indignant about her reaction.. as if he thought she was downgrading his inner hostility he was building up towards her that she didn't even know about because he never addressed it. This goes to show how vital being able to talk about things with fair play (there should be communication rules to talking about hot topics so its not a battle field) and self-worth and being able to successfully process uncomfortable emotions is. *Deep sigh*

[@marilynlarson9781]

I agree.

[@mccbern06]

His transparency has helped a lot of women! Listen to a MAN to understand how a man thinks. A woman can't tell me anything about a man except her experiences. I appreciate transparency.

[@joshuadavis5503]

Facts 💯

[@Dr.KiaPruittOfficial]

Absolutely! I appreciate him and his transparency. He's a great teacher and very courageous to share his experience and courage.

[@cutenobi]

This is such a great compliment. Just thinking about a man cheating makes me angry, but you’re right, women should listen.

[@kalimbaayinde25]

What did you learn?

[@juliangena]

​@@kalimbaayinde25I didn't learn anything differently than what I've experienced and learned from friends experiences. It's simply a matter of selfishness

[@phyfoster-Auntie_]

This man needs to apologize to his ex wife and all the women he has hurt! I don’t believe he really understands the depth, hurt, the pain, scars he has left on his ex wife.

[@gino6658]

There are MILLIONS of men who are JUST LIKE HE WAS, who cheated etc. He is just being HONEST about it now on a public platform. Some people in the comment section, are Currently getting cheated on in the same exact way right now, but have no idea…..

[@selfcarebeautyandbodyllc]

He has said in his own platform that he apologized to his ex wife!

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

My husband was my best friend, we could talk about all things. We were honest and loved each other,. As someone who is single due to his death. If I ever move forward with someone else, I need to lead with what I want. I want someone trustworthy who wants to talk to me.

[@cynthiaswinton9708]

REPENT THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND.MARRIAGE IS HONORABLE AND THE BED UNDEFILED BUT WHOREMONGERS AND ADULTERERS GOD WILL JUDGE.HEBREWS 13:4.WHOSOEVER CALLS UPON THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS SHALL BE SAVED!

[@I_am_an_OG]

I’m deeply sorry for your loss.

[@kellykirk4244]

Even when he is retelling the story of the girl he would fantasize about, and then going to her home and having an affair…. You can tell he is kind of enjoying the story. And then he’s saying “men can sleep with a woman that means nothing to them and lie to the woman they love to protect them” Nope. That’s not what “men” do. That’s what narcissists do.

[@t1sg]

Well said 👍🏼

[@kalimbaayinde25]

He’s a narcissist.

[@sarahbeee]

Exactly.

[@lulusworld2703]

I would have no respect for a man who cheats and so love would be difficult to be had with a man like that. A man like that would be showing me he is not worthy of me, I would thank him for showing me who he is and move on. I find it baffling that some women stay with men that cheat. They are in fact teaching these men that they will settle for so little, that it makes no difference how they are treated. And as he admitted that if his wife cheated on him, he wouldn't be as understanding and yet he expected the wife to be forgiving towards him. How amazingly selfish. Great conversation Lisa. I enjoyed Laterras' honesty and transparency, but less so the double standards which he seemed to own up to to a certain extent.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Indeed. No respect or trust for infidelity.

[@teascobie6557]

42:23 "I'm glad I never fully gave myself to you because I would have been destroyed." His response to her saying this to him, tells us what she was dealing with. He blamed her for his cheating. He cheated before they were married so she never trusted him fully but still went along with the marriage knowing full well he didn't even like her...let alone love her. She was forgiving and giving him a chance. Had she cheated he would not have taken her back. She is absolutely right. Had she giving him her all she would be in an insane asylum, and he still would have divorced her because studies show when a woman gets sick most men don't stick around...

[@Regina.Clarke]

I can see how you’re saying this, and he could have been better with explaining it. I follow his podcast. The key he was saying is that they didn’t communicate about their needs. Their needs weren’t being met, so the cycle kept going. He lacked clarity and self awareness when he met her and also did hold to his needs when she showed she wasn’t that type. This is a problem many people go through even without cheating. I have been cheated on and it was a horrible experience because the narcissist blamed me for everything when I knew nothing. This example is nowhere near that energy. He has taken accountability but TOTALLY could have been better explaining it in that section which I agree with.

[@tiberiajames5997]

That marriage was doomed from the beginning because God didn't put them together. They put themselves together and sound like they married out of convenience.

[@Mingchan]

@@Regina.Clarke When someone words their accountability as blaming another person for their actions, that isn't being accountable. Instead of saying something like "our communication was bad" it should be "my communication was bad". Using "I" while explaining action/behavior is important in remaining accountable. I think he is still lacking self awareness & clarity because of the phrasing he uses throughout this interview.

[@kpatterson7848]

You caught that too huh?? I wouldn’t touch this guy with a 10-ft pole.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@Regina.Clarke he has a sex addiction/ extremely high libido which NO ONE can satiate & requires actual work

[@ladyk7317]

It's so refreshing to hear an intelligent honest man share his wisdom and experiences 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💋

[@sherranballoons7455]

Yess!!!!

[@enmodelife]

This man is clearly dealing with another struggle (most serial cheating males like this are). You can tell. The woman's mistake was deciding to still marry a cheater. So glad she divorced him, and removed herself from this DL trainwreck waiting to happen.

[@eesynopsis7393]

He divorced **her** ...

[@mycharieamor]

@@eesynopsis7393oh, okay…but she never should have married him in the first place. Please don’t stick up for a dog like this. He was a dog from the beginning!

[@PamelaSofia444]

@@eesynopsis7393so he says !!

[@enmodelife]

​@@eesynopsis7393Ok, thanks for clarifying that. I have edited my post accordingly: "This man is clearly dealing with another struggle (most serial cheating males like this are). You can tell. The woman's mistake was deciding to still marry a cheater. So glad he at least had enough empathy/decency to divorced her, and set her free from this DL trainwreck waiting to happen."

[@ThingsILike12]

@@enmodelifeHe only divorced her to run from his own shame. A very immature thing to do. He divorced her to avoid having to face her pain and flipped it around to him being in pain. He sounds very much like the hot topic word out there today. That other n-word. The DARVO is strong with this one.

[@sunshineyang89]

This triggers me alot.. because the ex would fantasy about other women and would never think of me.. I would wear lingerie, try to be seductive but it was never enough. I will never talk to a drug addict and a porn boy again.

[@Blueocean143]

This is a healed version of that. Take peace of mind to see it exist. Much love

[@DearFutureWifey]

Thanks@@Blueocean143

[@melam9508]

So sorry that happened to you. It sounds like he really objectified you and women in general. We deserve so much better.

[@Mingchan]

@@Blueocean143 This is not a healed man. This is man that is justifying his actions & trying to compartmentalize every move he has made. For the amount of comments you have on here defending him - I bet you're a wayward.

[@christinejones4785]

Yeah the ones that don’t watch porn usually have actual real life sex & the F boys have too many insecurities that’s why they need to believe their sexually so wanted but most of the time they’re just users and abusers

[@ProudlyAfrican]

Cheating is a sign of self hate, self abuse and sadness

[@hopehoward2948]

Amen

[@VeraRK]

Well said👏

[@chiquitadixon8463]

Oh my goodness he’s just realizing after 8 years of divorce it just hit him. Cheating is selfish of a partner to do. I just appreciate this man honesty to speak his growth and truth.😢❤

[@sahirradessessoz]

Exactly 😮

[@indigomanning]

No…. He has spoken on all of these things for years. He has his own platform where he is very transparent and open about his journey.

[@staciacrick3373]

He probably deluded himself thinking since he was the provider, he was entitled to other cheating with other women . He “chased” the attention..narcissistic . Yes, like any drug receiving instant gratification. Lack of integrity, moral compass, entitlement, lack of emotional empathy toward his partner. It’s really not complicated

[@kimhawkes2570]

And he isn't going to be any different in his next marriage.

[@staciacrick3373]

@@kimhawkes2570 Serial cheaters don’t stop cheating

[@iethos]

Yea I was getting narcissist vibes this entire interview.

[@staciacrick3373]

@ I specialize in narcissistic abuse, so I know the language patterns behavior

[@latonyahurst7152]

This interview was so good I recommend that several people watch . He discussed so many things from trauma to being open humble and transparent conversations. He also expressed how you have to show up as who you really are to get what you really want. Don’t show up pretending expecting to change a person or manipulate your way into attempting to make a n individual change for your selfishness.

[@malindarayallen]

This guy's BS about men being "physical beings". He's using a false generalization about men to justify his own behavior. I applaud Lisa's ability to keep a straight face. Also, this guy's wife married him after he cheated on her while they were dating. I'm glad he's recovering, but he still has a long way to go.

[@---wj7zu]

And so is she.

[@karmepresh915]

Yes, that was an uncomfortable statement, but if you continue to watch, he does clarify that it is a selfish male perspective to have.

[@The_Philly_Bruja]

💯

[@malindarayallen]

@@karmepresh915 That's fair. I confess I've had to digest this video in small chunks.

[@kida758]

As a feminine, lgbt, androgynous male...who's a hopeless romantic when it comes to being attracted to masculine men....I COMPLETELY AGREE. It's all a social construct...that masculine men attempt use to their advantage for manipulation...to continue their poor, low-vibrational, "cornsick" behavior. As a male myself-I know for a fact that is not true. Men are not "physical" or "primal" beings...men are completely capable of being committed to one person in a loving, monogamous relationship. Men are completely capable of sexual discipline-in fact they even have much more intense, memorable, better orgasms....only having sex once every week, or other week. While being more productive in every other aspect of life. Speaking as a male who has a prostate(male g spot).

[@jenniferbranch9047]

I would hate to be his ex-wife, present or future. Her private moments laid bare. He offers her no protection and she can't even defend herself. It's very sad. 😢 It's quite clear that she was not satisfied. Quantity is not quality but quality leads to desire.

[@jenniferbranch9047]

Does he identify as Christian? Does he not know that his body is a temple? To his wife, he was extremely selfish. As the interview goes on, he speaks as if he has evolved, but there's any underlying tone of arrogance... no sincerity.

[@Emptytopfloor]

This is what happens when men choose to prioritize quantity. Too many partners and lots of experiences mean nothing when it comes to quality of intimacy with one.

[@lp9716]

@jenniferbranch9047 thank you!! Plus I'm not for one moment buying the "she meant nothing to me" line. It may not have been love, but she meant something that you cheated with her even prior to marriage. I would hate being his ex wife as well as the ex side chick.

[@teascobie6557]

@@jenniferbranch9047 2 words: Derick Jaxn....talked a great game while living recklessly. Also, a "man of God"🙄

[@PamelaSofia444]

@@jenniferbranch9047agreed. The whole undertone of the interview is full of arrogance and he contradicts himself a few times. Plus, what an earth has a feather chandelier got to do with Lisa’s husband stroking her arm. He was maybe subtly trying to manipulate (seduce) Lisa by planting a seed and vision in her head of sensuality. Once a narc always a narc !!

[@alicialibbey-u8p]

its not the guilt of hurting someone its the guilt of being caught!

[@sewblue187]

Exactly these men don’t care who they are hurting at all, some of this stuff is laughable but I’ll continue to listen and be entertained

[@alicialibbey-u8p]

@@sewblue187 You will not be able to get thru a situation before another bomb drops. But you WILL be expected to give back to the repeat offender 100% of your trust. And you are NOT given the time to grieve. Nor may you question or have any talks about the pattered behavior that you are witnessing as another affair unfolds. You are an annoyance to complain . And they are SICK OF IT!! ...Your drowned sorrows will not be heard. Nor has any an expectation of them ever been fulfilled. But in a panicked state you should give them support as they wait for the STD panel to come back clean. There will be no boundaries placed that will be accepted for the consequences of their actions they WILL NOT stand to partake. You are now the problem and causing them to be limited in their secrecy. Just a heartbreaking aspect of your own stupidity to ride the wave waiting to drowned you. For what its worth you weren't worth the effort. Love is a verb. Love is a doing word. It is NOT a feeling it IS an action. Good Luck out there.

[@greg4712]

I disagree

[@confusedwhynot]

Thank you for having this interview. Toxic Relationships are bad!!! IF YOU START A RELATIONSHIP WITH A LIE YOU CAN BET IT WILL END IN A LIE.

[@TammyReneeCoaching]

Lisa!!!! I’m only 21 minutes in and he is doing such an amazing job telling his story. I have complete pictures of how this all went down. I’m so grateful for his transparency and honesty. Relationships take so much work that I’m not willing to put in. I can control the outcome of my business, but not one woman can control the outcome of putting her heart in another man’s hands. Ok, I need to hear the rest of this interview. Thank you Lisa, for such an amazing guest!

[@warmwelkom]

And I am now looking for the interview with the wife and the other woman and the ex-wife ... 😉

[@moonsyoungestsun6550]

I feel the same way. He is expressing what a lot of men go through, but would never admit. So many of these comments analyzed everything he said and labeled him a bunch of negative things, including how they think he has not changed and is still a cheater. But it does not matter if he's changed or not. The point of this interview is for women to listen, learn and apply what he said as observational tools to use when dating or in a relationship.

[@molesadione9645]

Lisa is so calm and collected. I love her processing and getting the nuggets while refraining from saying too much.😂 We’re all thinking the same things.

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

To me cheating is a deal breaker. But there are many conversations that need to be had. What is okay, what is not okay. For a healthy marriage there has to be so many conversations. I had a healthy marriage, it was amazing.

[@bina913]

@EMuro-wu7uy I agree with you! But, you can have numerous conversions before marriage with your spouse-to-be & they still do the opposite! Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words… men & women lie and can be selfish… having the mature conversations will NOT make one’s marriage immune to adultery!! Both spouses needs to be genuine, unfortunately it can be difficult to tell who has your best interest at heart smh.

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

@@bina913 I agree, I was lucky I had a terrific marriage to my spouse, unfortunately he passed on, and being single again is difficult. I know there are some good men out there, but there are also ones that have a lot of problems. I'm working on myself for now. Before I date again.

[@4nasj]

HAD a healthy marriage??

[@EMuro-wu7uy]

@@4nasj he died.

[@SF-wc1wx]

I wonder how does his ex-wife feel about him sharing the things that happened during their marriage? Is that even more traumatic for her?

[@Heyu7her3]

She tells him she's okay with it, but she doesn't have a great history of being in-tune with herself...

[@ThingsILike12]

I can’t imagine it feels good to her. Maybe she’s just giving him enough rope…

[@4gma59]

His ex contributed to the disconnect.

[@schemainevent]

Something was still missing here for me. I couldn’t push past him and how he showed up. My ears, which are usually open and objective just couldn’t stomach “listening” to this guy.

[@akstylez_ak5037]

She probably feels humiliated. I know I would have. Because this is very personal. Women don’t support other women in situations like this. They are the reason many woman suffer in silence because of the same and blame other women make them feel. It’s like a crab in a barrel situation.

[@RMcGee-uf3me]

He had No Respect for his Woman while Dating. And No Respect for his Wife while Married.

[@AbeniBamidele]

Love how he introduces the other woman as the initiator as he sits in her home...

[@tiffanycalloway5299]

Ha! Of course she was… She knew what he was there for!😬😅

[@Ignite2Transform]

What was he expecting?🙄

[@Daveena1008]

Maybe she planned it all so that she could tempt him to cheat on his wife out of her spite and jealousy. Some women can be very vindictive and will purposely ruin other people's marriages and relationships -- as the saying goes "misery loves company." But he was a fool to allow it, just goes to show how weak he is.

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

Girl, thank you, the disconnect is stunning. Not to mention he had already been conjuring her up for weeks thru his masturbation life. 😣

[@sharipeterson1126]

He put himself in the situation. He didn't need to be in her home in the first place.

[@ulans.3965]

man.. this guys is a huge red flag

[@DLC56]

He is just being honest… which is hard to do. If more men were honest with themselves and their spouse about how they FEEL it might be less adultery

[@Believerfearless]

Facts

[@ET1phonehome]

This video is so powerful in so many different aspect. When he spoke about what the word husband means thats when I felt “EVERYONE” needs to hear this before marriage after during etc. even what he says about sex as a drug, her not communicating. The feather! Please this video is so deep! Thank you for sharing all you did, learned and more ❤❤❤

[@fifilafleur5555]

I’m so grateful to be out of my marriage and 2 relationships since as a divorcé. I don’t miss any of this. Same old $hit…

[@kalimbaayinde25]

Men are men. They think it’s their right to have multiple women.

[@YaGirlDynasty]

Wow. Smh. I hope she’s healing and happy. 🙏🏾 ladies, please leave at the first sign of disrespect/betrayal. As you can see, it’s rarely the first and only time especially when their mindset is “I didn’t mean anything.” Get outta there. ♥️💨

[@samco63]

Yes! And then it gets worse as they then feel justified and blame you even more for their actions

[@wisdomknowledgelover6293]

Yep I was getting to know a guy who would give me scriptures on marriage. He decided to watch porn. If a man does that, he would cheat in marriage.

[@ImJustSayingBTW]

Shonuff. When I stopped calling, texting as much, stoppes responding to texts, I was done. How you talk to me when you're angry says everything.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

This was exactly my Ex-husband… emphasis on EX. He had no idea what intimacy and connection meant and I was scrambling to figure this all out to avoid our relationship ending… then realized he wasn’t. Exactly every single experience he mentions happened in my relationship.

[@sandras2479]

I was married for 17 years to a very difficult man. I kept my vows to God. It never occurred to me to be unfaithful.

[@joyricherson4570]

I definitely considered cheating when I was married. My ex husband thought I didn't cheat because he was so great. He wasn't great at all. The reason I didn't cheat is because my vows to God were more important than my vows to God

[@Igniteyourownpotential]

God isn’t real 😂😂😂 you weren’t keeping vows to an imaginary person my dear. The church made you believe that!

[@realestatecoach8626]

Good for you!

[@rezpuppy9]

Amen!

[@RoycesRant]

Were you happy? Why get married to a difficult man?

[@felisabrown3886]

Truth be told, she lost him long before they got married

[@joanofarcxxi]

😮 If a man cheated on you, do not forgive him. If he really loved and valued you he never would betray you. Cheating is the ultimate violation of your boundaries, dignity, and self respect. Cheating is bad character. He broke your agreement and tore your heart out. Do not forgive. Do not. He made his choice. Now let him deal with the consequences. Yes, it's hard, but if you stay with him he will continue to make you suffer. You must keep your safety, dignity, honor, and value as a woman. You heard what this narcissist said. According to him, using women to satisfy his ego and entitlement meant nothing. He just cared about his own needs. Did he ever consider her needs? He had cheated before. Red flag! A guy like this is NOT a keeper.

[@glendorahorton9605]

You must forgive him if you are a Christian! You don't have to reconcile yet you must forgive.

[@joanofarcxxi]

@@glendorahorton9605 I am not God, let God forgive. You move on quickly and in time you can forgive if God puts it in your heart to do so. I have learned in my life's journey that when we immediately cut people out of our lives for abusing us, karma takes care of it and we find peace and freedom surprisingly well. It's totally natural and effective to be angry and say "you shall not pass!!!". That anger is what gives the power and the courage to stay clear from fake promises and further harm.

[@lees3117]

Foh with this. Bye

[@stormship1647]

You crazy …!…that’s pride right there….who are you ..or any woman to feel as if if a man is weak or not perfect you gotta leave him…that’s the princess syndrome and is fuelled by narcissism …”I have to have the perfect man cos I’m so wonderful”..!!! Also I think people are way to sexualised ..especially in America…it’s a bondage

[@livingwithdrdenisej]

If you fail to forgive you give the person who wronged you tremendous power over you. If you fail to forgive, you will never heal and this will prevent you from having a successful relationship in the future with anyone else. Forgiveness is not weakness but strength.

[@HolisticManifesting]

This is what lacking accountability looks like. ❤

[@ThingsILike12]

Yes!!!

[@arai6147]

You can call it whatever you want, but this man is speaking honestly.

[@Thechagiplate]

How so? He kept talking about what he did wrong and how he could have done better. That’s being accountable.

[@branner3392]

I’m glad I never really gave myself to you because you would have destroyed me….so true

[@stephaniegrabau7289]

@@Thechagiplatelol thank you for saying it

[@Sheshe661972]

I really do appreciate this man's transparency, and I'm grateful for him doing the work to change his ways (trauma issues).

[@myththelegend1036]

I can say that as a man and married, that I've never cheated, but I've been cheated on.

[@tora6548]

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry that it happened to you. I am woman who has also never cheated but my husband of 14yrs has. Today I found a pair of panties, last Saturday was makeup and lipstick on his jack. I really hurts so bad.

[@Jessica-J.ones.]

​@@tora6548I know it hurts. I'm sorry. Have you talked to him about it?

[@719kai719]

CLEAR AND OPEN COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL FOR IT TO WORK.

[@kalimbaayinde25]

How? Because women communicate way more than men. Even if he communicated with her he still would’ve cheated.

[@brandicollins3511]

Cheaters are definitely liars

[@hopeinhumanity.]

I remember my ex partner saying he felt sick to his stomach at the thought of hurting me. I felt at the time it was selfish for him to feel that way. Listening to this episode helped me to see a different perspective. Thank you.

[@mcurley0612]

Sounds like this marriage failed due to a lot of unspoken expectations. ❤❤❤ Communication is key...

[@kathryncothern3433]

Excellent conversation. Appreciate his 100% honesty and transparency. Being in a relationship involves so many elements to truly have a deep connection. Being together is only the surface level. There is sooooo much deeper stuff that each person needs to be connected with the other. Trust, honesty, safety, security, respect, vulnerability, transparency, integrity, etc. are absolutely pertinent. Each person must work on their own self, their Self Love, in order to bring it to the table....so a healthy relationship can grow. Appreciate this podcast! Thank you. ❤

[@neemajohn4023]

Absolutely... 100%

[@divaflow-lr7zs]

Most definitely 💯

[@zek280]

Love 😘 it

[@Only_phillysophical]

Women are disposable right? You had two women who loved you and you speak about the one you fantasize about and have physical needs for as if she garbage. You cheated with this same woman over and over again, and you’re writing your emotions off for that person and speaking about her like she is nothing but a flesh light. I feel bad for you sir.

[@nobe7745]

I don’t trust this man , he blamed for the cheating he committed he blamed his father and then he blamed his wife !!!!! He is dreadful 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[@cutenobi]

Trauma can be a generational curse.

[@kalimbaayinde25]

Yup. He isn’t healed.

[@nwitbooi8039]

This is and was so helpful to me. Relationship trauma can mess you up. I have been through it, and it totally changed me from being a woman who poured out my soul, moving across the country, leaving a job and my family for someone, to changing my religion for my person to a broken and angry person who is to scared to open her heart again. The only thing that kept me hopeful was God, that somehow and someday I will be ok again. Ready love fully and openly again. I'm so grateful to have watched this video, it is saving alot of relationships, marriages and in some cases LIVES! THANK YOU BOTH. GOD BLESS YOU.

[@staciacrick3373]

“Safe place” with a stripper can also mean he doesn’t have to be held accountable nor have to live up to any expectations. It’s easy because there is no risk of true vulnerability with the bartender or stripper 😊

[@wheathusk2499]

Yup avoidant behavior

[@HolisticManifesting]

It annoys me how stupid women can be.

[@vashtikelly6837]

DEPENDS ON HOW YOU SEE IT...I AM A DANCER AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THE MEN SHOW THIER TRUE NATURE AND WHO THEY REALLY ARE WITH US... THE REASON HE SAID 'SAFE PLACE' IS BECUZ WE ARE ALREADY NAKED AND HE CAN PICK THE WOMAN THAT HE PHYSICALLY DESIRES WITHOUT TRYING TO GET TO KNOW THE DANCER AND SNEAK AROUND WITH HER..HE CAN JUST GO TO THE CLUB, SIT DOWN AND TALK TO HER, AND IF SHE'S A CERTAIN TYPE AND HIS MONEY IS RIGHT, THEN HE CAN SEE HER AFTERWARDS FOR PLEASURE...THEN HE GOES HOME AND HIS WIFE IS NONE THE WISER...

[@staciacrick3373]

What’s with all caps? Anyway, that is easy because it’s not a reciprocal relationship and he is in a power position because he is paying for a service, which takes away true vulnerability. Emotional intimacy is about being vulnerable along with reciprocation, and expectations, not a feeling of superiority and power.

[@vashtikelly6837]

@@staciacrick3373 COMPLETELY AGREE...ALL CAPS IS BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO SEE FINE PRINT....

[@deadlykitten.5908]

It is my belief that information is put on your path for a reason. This video blew me away. So insightful. Thank you. 🙏

[@moonsyoungestsun6550]

I think the same way that you do. I'm not in a relationship, never been married and never wanted to be married, which I knew since I was 12 years old. But I like hearing honesty from men like this and learning from the mistakes of others. So down the line, if someone happens to sweep me off of my feet, and my views on marriage change, at least I can say that I know how to observe what I need to, in order to know if he's someone I want to commit to.

[@pamelabrown2028]

Love the fact that he's being so open, and he obviously knows God now as he refers the tactics of the enemy and the sin !!

[@arlene8284]

❤

[@HolisticManifesting]

I've learned that anybody can say anything.

[@melam9508]

In the beginning he said it was only physical with the other women and that he could care less and later he said it wasn´t just physical but that it was about vulnerability and complained that his wife wasn´t vulnerable enough with him and that he went to the other women to get that type of connection. So what is then? Gaslight much?

[@Mingchan]

100%!!! This guy's story just doesn't add up!!

[@eesynopsis7393]

He was opening up about the complexity of his personal reasoning for cheating, which is a different thing than how a man perceives sex with the woman he wants above all others, vs just any woman he can have a physical experience with. He was attempting to fill a void, using the physical act of sex. Obviously it's not going to, and lead to him being worse off. This entire video is him going into depth about that

[@Mingchan]

@@eesynopsis7393 How is shift blaming "going into depth"? There's a clear difference between someone explaining 'I am the cause of my failed marriage here are the reasons why' vs 'my wife's lack of sex or caring I masterbated is why I did x,y,z' WORDING IS SO IMPORTANT in when remaining accountable! Instead of saying I'm at fault - he continuously shift blames on her or atempts to justified his lack of morals. This man is not self aware - his therapist did a sh-t job of helping him heal.

[@ThingsILike12]

Gaslight a lot.

[@UnderstandingLimerence]

I am going to ask my husband to listen to this and if he doesn’t it might be over. You covered so much and so clearly. The therapists get so out of the zone, it doesn’t help at all.

[@ojala5555]

This man is full of contradictions. After all his cheatings and confessions, he says he's a Christian guy and expects his future wife to share his "core values"..🤷‍♀️ What a hypocrite😀! He not only deceives women but also himself!

[@SC-li6pf]

I truly believe if you cheat you DO NOT love your partner period !!!!

[@rhondaevans5423]

Reading these comments, let me know that people only hear what they want to hear. All the "He had me at" or "not he have the nerves to say"... He said all he said and explained why he felt like that, why he cheated. And came back and took accountability on his actions... We have to understand he was young and he did things he thought was ok.. Now, as a real man, he knows what to do differently with the next wife... Stop trying to make him look like he's still on some BS.. This man spoke well and made good sense of everything.. It'S CALLED GROWTH..

[@jas_1093]

Well said 💯 I too have noticed when I heard him speak was his growth!! He has given himself grace as he should! Our past can do two things; grow or stay stagnant. I have taken notes of this video to help me in areas I struggle with.

[@NadineTaylor-z2r]

Well said 100% He has GROWN and Mature!!

[@teresacolston7810]

Well said

[@janniebranch1857]

It's called dialogue. And some people are not healed, so they aren't going to speak from a place of growth.

[@lexxie225]

I hear him out, but so many excuses

[@Mingchan]

The amount of shift blaming, excuses, & contradictions are unbelievable.

[@pettynettie5514]

You wanted your ex wife to say "please don't go, I want you to stay..." to a disrespectful, cheating, lying, dirty dog??? Absolutely delusional. I don't even have words for that type of thought process. 😂😂😂😂😂 Let me give you the game sir. She was able to shrug you off so easily because she realized she lost nothing. Kudos on your journey of self discovery though.

[@CynthiaWilkins-mw1im]

This man just loves to hear himself talk.

[@Mingchan]

8 minutes in & I can tell by his facial reactions - the remorse is not there. He talks about not blaming his partner initially (that it was an internal issue) & then goes into how his wife didn't want to have sex or they didn't discuss frequency. That's still shift blaming!!! If he dated his wife for 6 years & cheated during that that time frame too - their foundation was never solid. It's funny to me how he can claim Christian views but be a cheater since the beginning. Pretty hypocritical. When he talked about the other woman - he smiled - almost grinning at the experience. This is what real unremorseful cheaters do. There would be no smiling or grins over past actions. Where is the pain in his story? He talks about shame like it's cloak of defense rather than it being a real & raw thing he did. I feel awful for his wife.

[@Am-mm6iz]

I cheated on my husband and just the other day I was smiling while thinking how I cheated. I am remorseful but I am still human and like the guy said you have to control your thoughts. He's probably telling himself wait this isn't funny.

[@Mingchan]

@@Am-mm6iz As a wayward person it's your responsibility to your spouse to showcase your remorse. Especially while talking about the affair!! Laughing, smiling, etc might be involuntary but when you become aware of it - SAY SOMETHING. Hiding that is just as bad as hiding an affair!!!! This guy never addressed that aspect in this video & it continues throughout the entire episode. It shows me that his guy is completely lacking self awareness.

[@Blueocean143]

We respond to pain with laughter dummy.

[@mattlyles902]

His divorce was 8 years ago. His pain and shame could be gone. But also, smiling doesn’t mean happy, sometimes smiling is just a coping mechanism for the pain and talking through it. It’s now about teaching vs beating himself up still.

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

Somebody who 'reads' the BS on his face and so on. Good observation!

[@Sonictheshorthog]

Cheating is for people who have no self discipline, integrity and lack of discipline. I was once accused of cheating and felt so disrespected. I left him! I was very annoyed and upset but he thought was acting defensive. I would rather leave a person than to cheat.

[@Liz-in8lu]

I was accused of cheating by a man, I was shocked. 1. I would never cheat. 2. What does he think of me then? 3. Is he cheating and that’s why his mind when there?!

[@DarlingEbony]

He likely accused you because that is what he was doing.

[@moonsyoungestsun6550]

Or they chest because they simply settled for the person and never loved or liked them. Sometimes it's just a matter of not actually wanting to be with the person that they are with.

[@andreajames532]

The way that Lisa and Tom talk about each other and their shows soften my heart so much.

[@redbird1336]

This interview made me literally sick to my stomach! This is narcissistic crazy-making at it's finest! Should be titled, "Introduction to Darvo". I don't have to imagine what his ex-wife had to live with. I was married to a narcissistic serial cheater for 12 years. Don't be fooled people, he's not being "transparent" because of an honest desire to take accountability. He's "glorying in his shame" and monetizing it to his advantage. At about 2 minutes into this interview, I started feeling like something was "off" about this man. Then came the circular speaking and contradictions. I've learned the hard way to trust my gut. His ex-wife wanted a relationship that was deeper than just sex. She tried to show him that with the feather incident. He flat out dismissed her attempt to draw him into a vulnerable and deep intimate relationship because he just wanted to get to the "sex". THEN he accuses HER of not being a "safe place"! Of not meeting HIS needs! He first says that the women he cheated with meant nothing to him, that he really only wanted his wife. He claims to have cheated because his wife never fully surrendered her heart to him. Yet, he was fine with casual, non-committal sex. I call b.s., blame-shifting, gaslighting and a WHOLE lot of ego. And the final narcissistic injury was that she didn't want to fight for you. Why would she? Someone that's truly taking accountability would understand the damage they caused and be willing to accept ANY consequences that came as a result. He expected her to "not want to lose him"? Wtf? Did he care about losing her every time he cheated on her? Such hypocrisy. Be careful what you listen to, because this is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

[@lademoiselleketoret6958]

You said a whole mouthful and I believe you are correct. 🥺🙏🏽

[@kalimbaayinde25]

I’m glad it’s a few women who are picking up on this. You are very intelligent and see through this lies. ❤❤❤

[@jeanettesmith1256]

Mannnn you spoke my entire brain.....I'm trying to see him through a lens of love though lol

[@lizzierose007]

I say get out if you're not happy. You will get your Karma one day, and it will be worse. It might not happen right away, but it will.

[@aminatadavis4183]

Love is total freedom, love is not insecurity love is not attachment, love is not jealousy, etc… we can’t own another human being and signing the papers doesn’t going to make things more perfect. No one can never complete us. Compliment and balance is the key to any relationship and for a great life. Namasté 🙏

[@lorifarrell4892]

Thank you for clarifying where I contributed. My break up wasn’t all my man’s fault. The cheating was, but not what lead up to it. Meryl Streep in “It’s Complicated” said it best. Something to the effect of (I didn’t have to acknowledge my failure in the divorce) “Because I didn’t have to when you cheated.” That sticks.

[@oldwoodsquotes3495]

Sorry about that 😢

[@kharab31]

This interview was awesome. He dropped some gems and placed accountability where it needed to be.

[@lightlyric]

This is so right on time. I'm going to share this with my guy friends who have talked about this same struggle.

[@cliffthecoolcat]

It sounds like neither of them were sexually satisfied.. I know what that is like to be disappointed because you are always doing it the way they like it. It gets old and you start to resent your partner when it can only be done their way.

[@teascobie6557]

lots of married unsatisfied women out there

[@cliffthecoolcat]

@@teascobie6557 you ain't kidding. It's the majority of women.

[@tiffanycalloway5299]

I agree. Very unsatisfactory and especially when they present such great demands, for their pleasure.

[@CynthiaHutchinson-c1m]

As a woman who was raised in a Southern Baptist church, it seems that we were taught to submit the husband and put up with whatever he dishes out. Standing up for oneself was not encouraged. I never knew how to stand up for myself. I am still a committed Christian, but I'm finding that now I'm having to completely remake the way I practice my faith. Certain things were just not taught to me.