Working Collaboratively with Parts/Alters in OSDD/DID

[@amberandmarble9219]

This is why the work the CTAD clinic does is vital and life-saving. There is so much misunderstanding and stigma even with other therapists that say they are trauma-informed.

[@karenmatuska3812]

As a therapist, I so appreciate how you are not throwing the other therapist under the bus or telling the client to simply leave their therapist over this. This is one of the many reasons I so respect this channel. Yes, this is a great opportunity for the client to receive clarity about the process and, you didn't mention, a chance for the client to self-advocate rather than avoid, which is also a vital skill in recovering from trauma.

[@thectadclinic]

Absolutely, thats a great point about the self-advocacy, thank you for the reminder!

[@tinaw6111]

An therein lies the problem. Through years of therapy I could never advocate for myself. Never. My parts were too terrified inside me, which meant I was terrified, which meant a part had to take over, and none of my parts had any notion, let alone skill, of self-advocacy. "Talk with your therapist; get clarification," is a good idea. If only. If only we could do it.

[@karenmatuska3812]

@@tinaw6111 So true. It is so intimidating to speak up. It makes a difference to be able to, but it is so difficult to do so. Sometimes it seems like a pipe dream.

[@karenmatuska3812]

I by no means mean to say that therapists are not ultimately responsible for being educated on the needs of their clients. Please hear me on that. You deserve a therapist who is trained (or being trained well) to address parts appropriately and kindly.

[@DIDHatchery]

It’s crazy to say you won’t work with the alter without the host present. Some people don’t even have solid hosts. Some people have a group of alters that act as “the host,” and that group can change. It’s so frustrating that therapists have a fundamental misunderstanding of how DID works. I can’t communicate with most of my alters. I don’t know how to bring them side by side. Some communicate and some do not. It takes therapy to learn how to get alters side by side. It takes time. We’re working on getting alters side by side, but it’s not something a person can consciously do. It just shows a lot of therapists don’t understand DID at all! I appreciate your videos. Thank you so much for teaching on this topic. It’s always informative. 💜 PS-Good luck with your surgery. I hope you heal quickly.

[@mariaz.-k.3546]

Thanks for your great comment. It seems, that this is my problem too...

[@thephoenixsystem6765]

Groupie host squad of the hour reporting for duty, how may I direct your enquiry?

[@DIDHatchery]

⁠@@mariaz.-k.3546Thank you! DID is very complex, and doctors don’t know that much about its complexity.

[@DIDHatchery]

@@thephoenixsystem6765😆 It really can be that way.

[@DragoDrache]

Sadly, I don’t think you misunderstood. A lot of therapists have no clue of how DID works, and even if they do, some try to force their ideas upon it, however illogical they may be. Thanks for the wonderful, easy understandable explanation. It is very much appreciated. You too, please take great care of yourself.

[@theresadutcher4750]

I don't think you misunderstood... over the years I have heard a lot from trauma therapists who were not properly trained in DID treatment. My first one said that she refuses to talk to younger parts completely and then she was surprised that we broke ourselves trying to obey that rule because obeying rules is what we do... some of it comes from people being trained in ego state approaches or mostly schema therapy where there is a high emphasis on the 'healthy adult' part being present at all times to avoid regression and they mix that with DID and DID parts that are quite different in the way they function. When you ask them about parts work they say, yes of course, they are offering parts work....

[@itisdevonly]

Yes, exactly. It's really frustrating to have a therapy where they expect you to already be capable of the thing you need them to help you become capable of... It's just a fundamental failure to understand the condition and how to treat it.

[@leben.lernen]

Huge thank you for the impressive aspects, the insight and for sharing your thoughts.

[@cadoho]

Thank you @theresadutcher4750 and @itisdevonly for the things you wrote. I have had similar experiences. I don´t have DID, but there are parts. My therapist recently suggested it might be partial DID. But I´ve had some problems with other therapists when they told me that my ´healthy adult´ needs to do things, care for littles or whatever. And I tried. But it always felt like there never really was a healthy adult part. The adult part that mostly handled everyday life is more of a persecutor that dissociates from emotions and is totally not capable of doing the emotional caring for littles. And always when I was told that my healthy adult needs to take charge I was so puzzled because I had this exact feeling of: how do you expect me to be able to do the things that I am here for to get help with? If I could function as a healthy adult then I probably would.

[@ZijnShayatanica]

Yeah, I had quite a bad experience trying to do IFS/Ego State therapy because my therapist & I were unaware that I had some form of complex dissociation... She finally recognized that she's out of her depth & we're working on reducing my anxiety/avoidance enough that I can be transferred to someone who specializes in dissociation. She was a wonderful therapist for C-PTSD, but it's been a confusing ride to hear all of that "parts" language to contend with... What appears to be cognitive dissonance & maladaptive feelings/behaviours? So it muddied the waters when I tried to explain what seemed to be going on when I was instructed to communicate with said parts. I couldn't properly get the message through because the language is the same... It lead to months where I was gaslighting myself - feeling like I was simply misunderstanding the assignment & EVERYONE has parts that function the way mine do. 🫤

[@mariaz.-k.3546]

Dear Dr. Lloyd, another great video, thank you very much. I often have the opposite problem: as soon as I sit down in therapy, I am totally rational and have no access to my inner self. My therapist is wonderful and wants to get in touch with the other people inside me, but as soon as he makes contact, I am so alert that the people inside me disappear and I either dissociate or feel nothing at all.

[@arc6298]

That is a great thing to explore with your therapist! Often times there is some protective part of ourselves that isn’t ready to trust yet. It is good to find out what part of yourself is having these doubts/struggles. Definitely a great way to build trust with your therapy by bringing this up with them! Wishing you all the best!

[@ichi_san]

this is good stuff. its sad that some cant work with dissociation.

[@renn-taylor]

Thanks so much! Today we worked on collaboration in trauma therapy and listening to this helps confirm that we are on the right path 😊

[@parrotdoesasploot2381]

Good luck with your surgery Dr Mike. Hope everything goes smoothly for you

[@Yourfitnesscoachbern]

All the best for your surgery. Thanks for your brilliant work and the fantastic ability to empathize with a DID again and again.

[@autiejedi5857]

Thank you for another great video Mike. Sending love to you and your family during your health journey 💜

[@lilithwhite2982]

This is sooo helpful. Our current works " exclusively with the adult self" and we don't trust her as she really dosnt want to know us. Lilith always spoke to everyone in the systems she worked with. It was all about communication and forming a team. The idea of triangulation makes so much sence. Thankyou as all the current training has never approached working with systems this way. It's been a constant problem I had with trainings ( emdr advanced/ dissociative disorders).

[@kellyschroeder7437]

All the best w your surgery and everything 💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💙👊

[@tactileproduct03]

Thank you for your work and have a fast, full recovery from surgery!

[@imjustjules]

I think some therapists may push away some of our parts because a lot of them we’ve been to have gone through IFS training.. but they haven’t learned how it’s modified for DID. I felt rly validated when reading about a training by Kathy Steele that said parts are going to struggle to unblend and we shouldn’t pressure them to do that. The topic also came up in a IFS provider group I was in, that unblending from parts can also be challenging for autistic + adhd people. Presently I’m reading the workbook on sensorimotor psychotherapy. I absolutely adore this modality. I love that Janina Fisher co-wrote the book and each chapter has a section on how to modify the work for dissociative disorders. It makes us feel included. But we also have grief that this book was published a decade ago and the western therapy field is so behind on their knowledge of treating dissociation. The information is out there. I think it just needs to be made more accessible. And as someone who was a therapist it’s really hard to make time to learn outside of your required CEUs when you’re actually practicing. I didn’t begin learning about DID until my last year of practicing and only was able to expand my knowledge once I had time off from practicing, as well as delving into my lived experience as a system. Anyway thanks as always !! Collaborative care is where it’s at.

[@seans9203]

Good stuff as always - Thank you Dr. Lloyd. Best wishes on your health - cheers from Vancouver , Canada 🍁

[@thectadclinic]

Thank you, too!

[@magphilsilence]

LOVE from Hamburg 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@carlabrown3452]

Dr. Mike thanks so much. ❤️ You are so rational about DID

[@ninac9308]

This was a great video, because it approached the problem in a constructive and thoughtful way, that will open up communication between the therapist and client rather than close it. It was educational, nonjudgmental and a great educational resource for anyone watching.😊

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Thank you

[@janey890]

As a person centred therapist. I would always start to approach working with a ‘new’ part by asking ‘can we’ meaning me and the presenting person, can we hear what the other is saying can we listen? Or, ‘It sounds like they need to be heard’. This was in an effort to allow us to work together. To give the other space to be with us. Sounds a bit like yr triangle Mike.

[@thectadclinic]

That sounds exactly like the sort of thing I’m meaning, great examples!

[@ZanetaW]

Best of luck with your surgery, Dr. Lloyd :)

[@thectadclinic]

Thank you so much!

[@lindadunn8787]

Absolutely! Thank you.😊

[@melissaowens8817]

As always THANK YOU THANK YOU!

[@thectadclinic]

You are so welcome, as always!

[@numberonecopycat]

Wishing the best for your health! Amazing video❤️

[@heipear]

Have you ever heard that the «main person» isn’t here any more? Like disappeared ages ago, and everything has for a long time been handled by other parts that isn’t the original «main person»? (And then in our case in the middle of a new crisis the most capable part (maybe called ANP?) wasn’t able to do the designated tasks either ( seem normal and coping) and went dormant, and the system is left with younger parts fronting and forced to cope in the chaos while dealing with the trauma they carry… ) Professionally diagnosed with DID and in therapy

[@thectadclinic]

Yes, I have seen this, both when the person ‘disappeared’ in childhood and also for someone else, later in life, and then living just as parts for several years.

[@heipear]

@ thank you for replying. I find all of this very confusing and hard to handle. It was easier for me to do my thing every so often, and when needed help with the littles, when not in charge all of the time. Now when all the adults has been «taken out» it’s just exhausting, even if I only really miss one of them. I have been forced to do loads of boring stuff for some time, and in the beginning I thought it would go back to the normal we know, but I’m still here. It’s impossible to do all the things as expected (there is so many things I do not know how to do) so I have isolated myself (and the system) from the world. Now we only do therapy with our psychiatrist, talk to a nurse that comes to our home and see immediate family.

[@sad_doggo2504]

This is VERY similar to our situation, we have an alter we call the "First," from all the evidence it seems she split the first alters, then they went on to split more, etc. But she is highly traumatized, and went on to become more traumatized the more she interacted with the world, so she prefers to stay very secluded. However, we made contact again with her recently and she's gaining more confidence and mending relationships within the system, which is really all we could ever want for her. **BIG asterisk on "from all the evidence" because we still don't have all the evidence, of course lol

[@Olivbean]

I had a therapist that made me choose which alters I want to keep and the rest should go in a box. And would only work with the host. Was very hard especially when we did trauma work. Made everything worse.

[@ninac9308]

I have a question. I had a stressful week last week and at the end of it I went for an appointment to see a professional who's been supporting me for six years. On my way to the appointment I was hit by a sudden wave of anxiety and dissociation, so I rang ahead to let her know that I was struggling to get there. I explained that I wasn't sure what would happen if I did manage to get there. I rang a second time to say I was outside the building and the professional came out to meet me, but when I saw her I didn't recognise her or know who she was. It felt like someone else was there from inside, but I didn't know who. This was really scary and continued throughout the entire appointment, whilst trying my best to ignore it, because I didn't think she'd understand. I know you are very busy, but I would really appreciate it if you could consider making a video to explain what was happening to me and hopefully enable me and anyone watching, who experiences this, to feel less frightened when it happens. Thank you.

[@thectadclinic]

@@ninac9308 thanks for this, Nina, though sorry to hear about the circumstances! I think it would be a great video to set up, as I think I may have some possible answers!

[@yj-kh5to]

Thank you for another great video!

[@emmalyckajacobsson590]

Thank you for this video! I/we once met the therapist together, and that was very wierd since one part wanted to discuss us and how we understood our presence in the same body, and the other part wanted to talk about her /our clothes and the sweater she prompted to wear, and its colour It felt as having two heads, and that feeling of talking with two heads was NOT pleasant! It must be a challenge for a therapist, to have a session with plenty of parts coming from the same head.. ?

[@lizzieannie1214]

How do you bring the 2 separate parts together?

[@mksparrow5398]

I wish you were in the US...

[@sad_doggo2504]

What would therapy look like if there isn't a part that's out the majority of the time?

[@thectadclinic]

Working with whoever does show up!

[@sad_doggo2504]

​@thectadclinic Thank you, this is a very affirming, refreshing view! 😊

[@MillieMoon2024]

Interesting video! Thank you 😊 Can i ask whether you'd consider doing a similar video for those of us whose parts don't easily show up in therapy, or when they do, there's bleeding of one's thoughts and feelings into the other's part? What i find difficult is being able to communicate overtly with my alters which can be tricky in session.

[@Heidi_et.al.]

So is Triangulation the new term for Co-consciousness or the early stages of it? Or are they something very different?? Thx! ❤️

[@Sieggis]

Ah yeah, I remember the psychotherapist we had who said after a while that he's not a group therapist, refused to acknowledge anyone else than our host and all this after he had claimed that he could deal with what we already had going and understood it all. Our host was just too scared to leave and thought that he knew better, because he's the professional. Like, dude, no. Thankfully she did switch for another because that guy had some serious issues of his own he kept bringing up from his past. Also, just wanna ask but, why this keeps happening? Therapists venting/opening up about their stuff to us? Like, in therapy setting. Like, I don't get it. We don't have the booksmarts to help or skills or whatever. How is that fair and why it happens? I get it with friends and stuff. But like, why open up about like, marital life or like, trauma stuff that has clearly something still unprocessed. Dude, it's just not right, yea? But why it keeps happening? Is it just a human thing?

[@pardalote]

❤