World's Funniest Confessions 6

[@demas5334]

“You’ll be having that!” - Charity Goblin It was right there!!!

[@steecheeful]

👹

[@Grimstone666]

this comment is highly underrated

[@xannas.9207]

Ghost writer

[@krisavila7336]

Nice

[@eleonoradimitrova8773]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Imagine your deepest, darkest secret being you order eight wings and a medium pizza to eat in the middle of the night outside!

[@ohitsjustzach]

Or giving your parents money secretly 💀

[@OfficialCorinneGames]

total green flag guys lol

[@tardybloomer]

better than something degen tbh:,))

[@javiartem]

it was cute 😭

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

@@OfficialCorinneGameslol, IK, both of them give of himbo energy!

[@joshkuli3318]

Plot twist: the guys family knows that he is reverse pickpocketing them, and they are just pretending not to because they see the joy it brings him

[@FelonDog]

Just an entire wholesome family. 🥺

[@avopeac6300]

putpocketing is what I call it

[@slei4676]

In the next confession episode: Our son is secretly giving us money but we can't bring ourselves to tell him that we know

[@ktreznin5538]

I was going to say the same! What an adorable family.

[@Py-Py-Py]

They're addicted to it

[@pinkwaferz]

that poor woman.. i really hope she in a better situation now. i can’t imagine my partner not only violating my trust like that but also putting me at risk for an infection or something

[@gua5432]

@@PleasureRevolution-fh4jh I mean, she posted it on Reddit.

[@soloheroina]

yea that one was not funny at all, just actual marital sexual assault

[@JCArules13]

@@gua5432 So? If you were assaulted by your husband in such a gross way, where the fuck would you go? Talking to your parents would be weird as hell, and it'd be difficult to tell your friends that your husband PEED INSIDE YOU!!!! Unless you saying it's fake, in which case, let's not ASSUME that confessions of SEXUAL ASSAULT are fake because women are constantly being accused of lying about being assaulted!!!

[@keirusch9039]

In addition to this being blatant sexual assault, this could leave her with a yeast infection, a bladder infection, bacterial vaginosis, etc. So not only did he assault her, he caused pain and suffering that could potentially land her in the hospital if not caught and treated soon enough.

[@christinepoppy3277]

Yes! I don’t know why people think this isn’t serious. Like other people are not your toilet… Even if someone is having sex with you, absolutely no one assumes that you’re going to pee inside them and it should never be assumed that there is consent for that

[@TheVivaciousNerd]

Yeah, quite disappointing to see this story in a video about the “world funniest” confession. “My husband assaulted me” is not a funny confession imo, its disgusting

[@TheVivaciousNerd]

@@christinepoppy3277 He didn’t even assume consent, she said no beforehand and he still did it

[@chickenfoot2423]

that was my immediate thought too... even plain christian sex can give you a myriad of problems down there, PEEING inside you??? thats gotta be way, way worse.

[@Himbotical]

Bro I haven’t watched the video yet but holy shit what the fuck

[@Bloatedkazoo]

Cody’s ability to keep making goblin callbacks is truly admirable

[@Autizzytati]

Which video did it start from

[@pbrownie4]

I keep referencing the goblin joke and literally nobody in my direct life understands but I’m still like “NYAHAHA ILL BE HAVING THIS”

[@s4di.3]

​@@Autizzytatiim not sure which exactly but its one of the weird confessions videos. A dude confessed that he liked to pretend he was a goblin at home and go around gathering shiny items. Cody turned it into a bit and its just stuck since.

[@goob697]

@@pbrownie4SAME😭😭 the reactions are always funny

[@Seige-dg]

It’s the first weird confessions he did

[@jadeeliss]

that one woman needs to report her husband for sexual assault and leave immediately…. like my jaw hit the floor when she said she already told him not to do it, he is so sick for doing it anyway🤢🤮

[@Vincisomething]

I hope they're not together and he's in jail or has been reported

[@nomoretwitterhandles]

Not only that but it's LEGIT disgusting? She could get a SERIOUS infection from something like that. Infections are no joke; they can cause sepsis and kill you in a matter of days! There's a reason UTIs have to be treated immediately. Like wtf..

[@mainsqueeze5589]

He needs to not be allowed around women if he's gonna be a piece of crap, hopefully he was charged with assault!

[@explosivez1096]

Would that not be grape??? She said no and he still did it, even if they are partners. Because in my eyes SA is when she said no to him grabbing her body in public but he still does it

[@Tiphuhnee]

@@explosivez1096 it's not grape but it's definitely sa

[@smoothjazz4789]

serious whiplash going from "pursue your elderly dreams you could be the next Samuel L Jackson" to "husband pissed in me"

[@Random-sk6hm]

Both are so wholesome 😭

[@Vincisomething]

​@@Random-sk6hmfrom deadbeat child brain reddit mod to straight up assault 😭

[@chocolatedoughnut1305]

Thank god I read the comments bc I’m skipping right over that part Not in front of my salad thank you very much

[@Nicola_Blackwood]

Currently pregnant and it does not take much to make me cry these days, good or bad. Reverse pickpocket guy has me casually sobbing lol

[@jakimann5334]

my partner thinks they have been ordering mcflurries in secret every couple of months since we moved in together, while im asleep. the only problem is that our apartment is pretty small and there isn’t anywhere to hide the garbage, so ive known about this habit since it began. i haven’t said anything about it because im not a huge ice cream enjoyer anyway, and i want to let them keep this incredibly wholesome ‘secret’.

[@tomlxyz]

Do you know why they do it?

[@jakimann5334]

@@tomlxyz maybe because they’re gluten free they’re more protective over their treats? but really I couldn’t say for sure

[@thombaz]

@@jakimann5334 You have more then one partner at the same time ordering mflurri secretly?

[@jakimann5334]

@@thombaz I have one partner who uses they/them pronouns:) and has since included me in the late night mcflurries

[@milkyard8431]

Ngl I love when you blur out the whole paragraph except the sentence you're reading; my pea brain follows along so well that it makes me depressingly proud of myself

[@mikuenjoyerXD]

Adhd ?

[@FelonDog]

It's nice except when he doesn't finish the entire story and you can't go back and finish it yourself because it's blurred out. DX

[@thesilliestbug.forever]

​@@FelonDog it's not that blurry, I'm still able to read it

[@mellowmorgs]

I like that I can’t read ahead and spoil it for myself!

[@spookeymo]

@@mellowmorgs i wish books were like this

[@littlestrhino]

Years ago we took my cat to the vet and it had to stay there for a few hours before we could pick it up. We came to pick it up and it was extremely aggressive. We asked the vet tech and she said that’s normal, the cat was probably just afraid. I turned around and sitting in the cage on the opposite wall was my cat, purring and waiting patiently. Turns out they “accidentally” tried to give us a cat that was having trouble getting adopted because it was so aggressive.

[@seinfields]

Wild

[@breezybee777]

That is horrible

[@poogissploogis]

Oh man, I would've flipped out on them Karen style, that is pure evil

[@seerum]

@@poogissploogiskaren style wouldn’t CUT it

[@thefool3571]

Omg wtf?

[@coffee_eyed]

The first story with the black cat, I was also wondering how the wife didn’t suspect the cat was different. I hope the original cat did end up finding a loving home. :(

[@valerivalov9834]

But the cat was an asshole, I don't know why we should tolerate things like that. You get a cat feed it shelter it gives it all the treatment and its being an ass all the time. Hell no. Some animals just don't want to be pets, they are for the streets

[@jetskiijr]

@@valerivalov9834you sound miserable lmao. also learn how to use punctuation. that comment was a headache to read

[@livalil]

That’s why I don’t believe it’s real. Every pet has their own mannerisms that their owner is able to tell that from the get go. I would know immediately that’s not my cat, even if it was an exact identical one, which is already impossible to find

[@SamIAmWich]

@@valerivalov9834usually if a cat is this bad there’s a reason. Health, trauma, idk… (Source: have owned and cared for dozens of cats in life, my own and family/friends)

[@coffee_eyed]

@@valerivalov9834 Yeah, but it’s the principle that it’s her cat and she wanted to take care of it. Some animals are meant for different owners and living situations, but it should have been a mutual agreement to rehome it, not this guy going behind his partner’s back. :/

[@xXnostalgicXx]

The whole celebrity hall pass thing is so strange if you think about it for a second. It’s like some people view celebrities as being non human, or more than human. As if you sleeping with a celebrity doesn’t count because they are not a “normal” person. I don’t know, the mentality behind it is just weird.

[@carleesarna4450]

i totally agree but at the same time it’s devastating to hear about a partners “hall pass” bc you know that means (jokingly or not) they would, given the chance, sleep with someone else. that’s why me and my bf never joke like that bc it can just get so messy and i would never cheat on him with ANYONE

[@takeyat8840]

Right? People are saying it only counts with A-list celebrities, as if that makes it any better? It’s insane they’d want to cheat on their partner with a stranger

[@mamamua4644]

I think it’s supposed to be a silly thing and we choose celebrities not because they are above anybody but because they are very unnatainable and that’s what’s light hearted about the hall pass thing. You couldn’t joke about the hall pass thing and say it’s a coworker or a friend for example. So I don’t think it’s that celebrities are above people, rather- unattainable.

[@xXnostalgicXx]

@@mamamua4644 The unattainability is certainly part of it, but I also believe some people think it should be a legitimate exception because it’s a celebrity. My ex told me verbatim “I would totally fuck lil wayne if I had the chance, he’s so fucking sexy”, that’s pretty out of pocket if you ask me. Innocent celebrity crushes is one thing, but there are definitely those who are serious that they would sleep with them if they had the chance. I’ve never been a fan of idolatry or celebrity worship, it has a very negative effect on certain people’s self image and has contributed to the “anything for clout” type mentality.

[@kernel-pult]

@@mamamua4644 they admit that they have the intention to cheat under specific circumstances - and have at the very least enjoyed imagining banging someone else. that is so nasty to freely admit to ur partner. doesn't matter that they wont ever get to do it irl, they want to which is just as bad. it's never just a joke. also if someone said like "scarlett johanson is my hall passs!" or some shet, they're not talking about her personality - someone at celeb level hot is very uncommon, they probs don't know another woman that hot irl and if they did, they would wanna bang her too. gotta think of the implications. cheating talk is opening a whole nother kettle of fish that should be kept closed

[@dollhead2848]

for that black cat one, i would honestly go insane if i ever found out, the cat just needed time to adjust to the house. I am a huge cat lover and i would be ripped to shreds if i found out the person i built a life with got rid of my cat when it obviously had some sort of trauma, cats don’t do that for no reason. If he didn’t want to mess with the cat all he had to do was stop going around it, go in the house, put food down, then leave. it probably wouldn’t even approach him if he didn’t go up to it

[@seinfields]

Amen brother

[@devsananimator5554]

right?! like a lot of people don't seem to understand that cats generally take a LONG time to fully acclimate to their environments and to other people. I've had my cat Moss for about a year now and she still is anxious around my dad even though she sees him every day. It sounds like both the boyfriend and the cat's owner weren't being patient enough with them (probably also weren't properly paying attention to the cats needs). I have been around cats my entire life and even the most aggressive ones have become real sweethearts with enough patience, respect and proper care.

[@Manatee4Scale]

@@devsananimator5554and the trauma of being taken and dropped off at a shelter would only worsen their behavior. It’s heartbreaking

[@thsithks]

Ok not condoning what the guy did but you clearly have never dealt with a really really crazy cat. When I was a kid we had a cat that was just insane towards anyone but my mother, she would wait for me to come home from school and attack me if I went near her. Sometimes I would just be sitting there on the couch and she would just pounce at me and scratch the shit out of me. I fed her every day after school… didn’t change a thing. She would be nice for 5 minutes, then return to being psycho. We had her since she was a kitten and nothing bad ever happened to her, she just was crazy jealous and possessive of my mum. We had other cats since then, and I have two of my own now as an adult, and I can still say I kind of agree with getting rid of a cat that is not showing any signs of improving socially or is regularly physically hurting guests/friends. Obviously re-homing is ideal, but in a really dire situation I would consider a shelter.

[@ShroomyD]

How if your cat was a piece of shif

[@Sarah-l8r2w]

The penile implant one was actually incredibly wholesome and it was really great to hear someone who has had such an important and vital part of their life restored to them.

[@Me-vn3gz]

gender affirming care 🫶

[@tomlxyz]

I honestly wouldnt judge anyone if they told me they are happier now because of such a thing

[@vinnhansen]

Cody we get it. Having a baby is expensive. We‘re here to support you

[@Random-sk6hm]

Cody keep giving us your content. We're here to support you

[@stephengarforth2753]

Cody is preggo?

[@shaydayx91x]

They’re not that expensive lol

[@magdalenaj.1390]

He's a millionare

[@vinnhansen]

@@magdalenaj.1390 tell me u dont get a joke without telling me u dont get a joke

[@kimmihashi7316]

planning a little late night pizza scheme and getting a thrill from hiding it is the best confession ever i wish more of them were like that 😭

[@DominiqueRoseASMR]

It's the lack of respect for the wife who owned the black cat for me. Imagine not even respecting your SO enough to be honest with them or talk to them about your concerns and thinking you have a better plan like she's a child. Just phenomenal.

[@tomlxyz]

I think it's made worse that he swapped out a living being. Pets are part of the family. You dont swap out family behind your partners back

[@twoshu8940]

I meaaaaan no one found out except the cat and the cat isn’t telling

[@DominiqueRoseASMR]

@@twoshu8940 again, it's not about whether or not someone finds out. It's the fact that the SO didn't respect their spouse by being honest with them. Actions don't suddenly become okay if no one knows about them. They are, on their own, either good or bad.

[@oliebolie5064]

As someone with a cat, I don’t think it’s real lol. Anyone with a cat knows their faces are all different and you would DEF notice the change

[@AvaF1919]

I know what you mean. I've always had cats and currently have four. They all look different, even if their fur is the same color/length. Imagine coming home and your cat looking slightly different and behaving totally different. Red flags. Another f*cked up aspect to consider though is some people's ability to lie and manipulate. Picture the scenario: you say your cat seems different and the response you get is "you're crazy" or "of course it's your cat!" Sick behavior to do something like that.

[@madisonemily4083]

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. My grandma has two black cats and, though they are both black, they have distinct but subtle features that differentiates them when you look closer. I have two grey cats that are brothers and I can tell them apart by their facial features, though my family has to look for the small white spot that one of them has to typically tell them apart. Even if you could miraculously find the cat’s physical twin, i feel like their behavioral change would be such a giveaway, too.

[@oliebolie5064]

@@madisonemily4083 Right! And at the risk of sounding like a weirdo.. all the cats I’ve had also SMELL different. I can’t explain it but they each had their own signature scent

[@katet8639]

Right? I was thinking the same. I used to have a tuxedo cat that would hang around in the garden. One time, I called my cat to get indoors and three almost identical tuxedo cats were looking straight at me. It was funny to see, because it's like a glitch in the matrix, but I still knew which one was my cat.

[@kyliepuckett]

They had only had it for a little thou

[@kacheekyy]

i'd never forgive a person if they SWAPPED OUT MY CAT?!?!? that's psycho behavior

[@punksandpoodles]

SAME!!! idk why more people arent pissed

[@ElPresidenteMargz]

It’s Always Sunny type behavior 😂

[@Weep_TTV]

Uh having a shit cat, that not trained, is physcho behavior, she brags how she loves the new cat, she would’ve never trained the last one.

[@anncermit4273]

it was still still her decision to have that cat and not the boyfriends. you cannot mess with someone else's pet like that.

[@punksandpoodles]

@Weep_TTV doesnt matter the behavior of the cat. its not right to steal that cat from a home that was trying to help it through behavioral problems. all pets take different amounts of time to adjust and learn. if OP wasnt up for it, he should've left his gf. unless its an abuse case, stealing a pet away from someone is cruel.

[@gabirowan6430]

As a dog groomer, I genuinely do get nervous about giving the wrong dog to someone. Its never happened before, but there are so many dogs with the same name that look eerily similar that are booked one after the other and especially if theyre not one of my regulars there will always be a moment of confusion and panic. But I feel like as a pet owner you would notice immediately? No?

[@ryndesu8299]

one time my mom came home from the groomer with a dog that looked like ours but wasn’t and we were all like wtf is wrong with you😂 we figured it out with the groomer and owner and we laugh about it now

[@XOChristianaNicole]

@@ryndesu8299- “WTF is wrong with you??” I’m dying.

[@Royal_Fortune]

Apparently not

[@dead5ever]

I used to work at a doggie daycare and accidentally gave some guy the wrong golden retriever with the same name that looked identical, he hopped right in his car without hesitation bc .. he’s a golden. Owner was so stoned and didn’t notice until we let him know 😂😂😂😂

[@Annabellethedoll666]

I think she must’ve sense something was off but didn’t want to believe her bf would do such a thing

[@badluckbecca812]

I would 100% know the difference in my cat and I would go insane comparing photos of them

[@altec1400]

The fact she didn't notice kinda shows she's not an attentive owner.

[@hsisnothere]

20:43 sleeping with anyone other than your partner without a serious previous discussion is cheating. my partner and i have joked about our hall-passes many times in our 5 years of dating… but why tf would i (a monogamous person in a monogamous relationship) EVER jeopardize our relationship to sleep with someone who wasn’t the person i’ve loved for years? icky.

[@hsisnothere]

it could’ve been the worst breakdown of communication ever or just simply a lack of communicating relationship/partnership goals but like- i just cannot wrap my head around it! if she wanted to be poly or have an open relationship that needed to be discussed in a much more clear cut manor earlier on in the relationship.

[@god2888]

literally. well said. because wtf do you mean? were you not taught what a RELATIONSHIP is? 🤡🤡

[@davidmoore8741]

Partner, well obviously ur gay sooo

[@christuhh]

@@davidmoore8741what?

[@mysticmaidenmagic]

honestly i understand the being addicted to charity thing. once i started making money i would look around and see so many people i’d wanna help out. sometimes it can go to unhealthy extent for myself because i’ll just wanna keep giving ! 😭

[@Random-sk6hm]

You're just addicted to giving 🫦

[@raimarulightning]

It's a sad indictment of the social safety nets in place because so many of us are just hung out to dry

[@hard.g0re]

No, me too, I always say "they need it more" until I give my last dollar, and IIII need to eat w no lunch 😭

[@mysticmaidenmagic]

@@hard.g0re RIGHT!!! people at work used to ask me to buy them food and i’d always lookout for staff instead of myself AAAA, but i’ve been trying to heal my relationship with giving ❤️

[@izzaanimates9041]

@@hard.g0re”eat w no lunch” tf are you eating then?? The air? 😂

[@grimacet3321]

“No-kill” shelter does NOT mean no cats are euthanized. It just means in total, it’s under the threshold to be able to claim that name. If the cat is held for way too long where it’s damaging to their health and mental health, or they start attacking people, it’s likely that cat was still euthanized or moved to another shelter where again they could be euthanized. We can only hope that the cat ended safe with another family; what that guy did was just not okay and validating it because it’s “no-kill” is an uneducated response.

[@blake_mont]

Ok but the cat he adopted also could’ve been killed in a shelter. It’s even Steven

[@sadieyounker923]

I thought the same thing. Unfortunately cats with those types of issues do really poorly in a shelter environment, and can also end up in barn cat programs despite not being feral. One of my current boys had so much fear related aggressive in the shelter that they put him in the feral cat program, but he really has no idea how to hunt or live outside.

[@mollysministuff]

@@blake_mont But the new cat was friendly and well behaved so it had a higher likely hood of being adopted by someone else. The original cat was likely euthanized due to behavior problems even though he already had a owner who was trying to work through the issues. :(

[@JB-cd8eb]

​@@blake_monthe already had a home so it's wrong to kick him out.

[@MohammedAli-hl4mr]

That story is obviously fake

[@justnone9809]

first story he took an all black, fully grown cat and dropped it off to a shelter for not liking its personality. that cat more than likely never found another home

[@bobbybobby.bobby365]

@@Me-yf7wwhonestly commit

[@GracefullyHigh]

Sad, some people are just pieces of shit. I would never want to be with someone who took MY pet and got rid of them bc THEY didn't like them. Honestly hope she finds out and gets rid of him

[@Guus115]

At least he didnt dump the cat in a glass-container

[@wawaicedcoffee]

@@Me-yf7wwI think you’re the one offended lmao

[@katyrusso1989]

@@Me-yf7ww so you post a comment diminishing another user for caring about the cat then get offended when people take your comment for what it is? K, troll

[@alexiswood7364]

listening to the secret pizza story as i eat my secret doordash while my bf is at work and i’m off. it literally is the thrill of my week

[@francis_siddhartha]

I feel like only people who have never owned a cat would buy the first story. There's no way he could've found a nearly identical cat that easily, and any owner would recognize even the slightest difference, so it had to be almost twin-level identical for it to work.

[@1cornicon679]

knew it was false when they said the cat responded to the old cat's name. ignoring their human is like every cat's career

[@erasmiatambakis227]

now i have to make lunch... thx cody

[@aquademoney]

its only 10 for me imma just get a snack lmao

[@nuzaarfatima1326]

It's almost 11pm here but ig I'll be having lunch now

[@reendyana533]

i’m eating supper :33

[@raven.o.9953]

i just finished eating so now just doing laundry

[@bigboy6019]

shut up about the lunch SHUT UP ABOUT THE LUNCH

[@grantworstell]

I feel like a hall pass is usually a super unobtainable celebrity that you will probably never even meet. Not a small up and coming artist

[@tubulartom666]

Also, if there’s a chance you’re going to meet them, you might wanna talk to your partner beforehand about the infinitesimal chance that they might wanna bang. I think most partners would be like, “no, don’t have sex with that celebrity. I’m not ok with that.” That guys girlfriend is just a jerk who knew she did something bad and tried to manipulate it to make him look like the one in the wrong.

[@taylorsommers9504]

I think that Cody’s Nightmare music video is so genius even if nobody has ever really seen his videos before and doesn’t understand it’s lore. It still gives off the vibe of the song of being high and strange things happen 😂

[@gdubs14]

I was gonna comment this if someone didn’t!!

[@HotStrange]

Agreed. And I think enough people have seen or know about Cut/Jubilee type videos to get it as well.

[@SirArthurTheGreat]

English tism me: I like how you probably intended “its lore”, and “it’s lore” also works!

[@kayligo]

I don’t know the lore and I loved it.

[@lilymasters2863]

The pizza confession is LITERALLY something my husband has done. We had different days off and he told me he was going to get cat food but secretly got takeout teriyaki. When I came home from work he kept spending extra long in the kitchen every time he went in then eventually confessed and gave me the last few bites. All I had to say was "I'm not mad but next time get me a yakisoba"

[@sainttheresetaylor2054]

why would he lie about it???

[@방탄리사]

My cat took years to get over his trauma and be able to love us. Hes the cuddliest and sweetest cat now who genuinely cares for us. If when he was young he was swapped, he might have never develped and got more traumatized. I am so happy i stuck it out and anyone who wouldnt do that for thr animal they love or said they would care for even, should not have a pet

[@deeplyrooted5214]

Are you sure you didn’t get the swapped cat from the story 🤔

[@carolineburks]

Hall passes are NOT real. Don’t cheat on your partner

[@SirArthurTheGreat]

They are real but only if you’ve discussed the boundaries around them with seriousness, just like how all ethical non-monogamy can work but only if everyone is consenting and understanding of the situation. Clearly, not what happened here, as if she was serious she should’ve clarified beforehand (including things like ‘i a serious, do you want to know if it happens, are you comfortable with us going the whole way or just making out, etc.) rather than just being like ‘i said it so it’s okay’.

[@dank3470]

​@@SirArthurTheGreat rage bait lmao

[@ADRI_a_REAL1]

@@SirArthurTheGreat genius guy, everyone assumes it isnt serious because IF it is, news flash, it means you dont actually love your partner (wanting to cheat on your partner wid someone famous is the same as cheating with anyone else. Its completely irrelevant and if you wanna cheat, youre a bad person. Its like me saying 'dude i really wanna murder this guy, i hate him so much! If i had to murder someone it would be him, hes my murder pass LOL! Funny! Nah its still murder)

[@SirArthurTheGreat]

@@dank3470 …rage bait? I expressed myself real reasonably, so I’m not ‘secretly housing my true thoughts and this is me seeking attention’. I’m not into ENM specifically, but I’ve had hallpasses in the past with partners (i.e. me and my partner were both allowed to lay Ewan McGregor if that magically happened). So if there’s a hallpass that’s more attainable/possible, it’s fine to act on it if you and your partner are in agreement about the parameters. Just as with any relationship, if everyone involved agrees, that’s their prerogative.

[@dominicpirola8240]

​@@dank3470wtf do u mean? Bro was spitting just coz u don't understand Polyamory doesn't mean you're right

[@melolila24]

9:45 Cody totally looks like Peter Pettigrew and I haven't stopped laughing since 💀

[@yerma6149]

THE ACCURACY

[@ellasirna]

i thought the exact same thing lmao

[@brenthatfield1123]

“I didn’t mean to!”

[@foodoflove03]

just to be clear people, the pee one is legitimate sexual assault. if you say you are uncomfortable with something related to sex and don’t want it to happen and your partner does it anyways, that is SA. if it’s related to actual penetration (digital, object, whatever) that is r***. during my first serious relationship, my partner did several things to me despite me telling him beforehand that I wasn’t comfortable with it and I didn’t realize till a while after that it was r*** so I just want yall to know, it is a big deal for that to happen and if you’ve dealt with that, I’m sorry. if you’re angry or traumatized, that’s justified.

[@alpacafish1269]

^ ^ Need more peeps to look at this!

[@michellek9465]

yeah im right there with you, I was actually so shocked its just disgusting and after his reaction he would no longer be my husband that's for fcking sure...

[@michellek9465]

@@PleasureRevolution-fh4jh I thought I was healed till I heard this🤮

[@fabulouskelly3438]

it is so incredibly depressing how many ppl aren’t aware of this and don’t realize, and how frequently it happens. thank you for spreading awareness ❤️

[@foodoflove03]

@@PleasureRevolution-fh4jh you’re so right, thank you for the correction. and thank you :) I have, mostly

[@BobbySacamano]

Imagine getting in an argument about something like not remembering your wife's best friend's birthday and then dropping the bomb about the cat.

[@raymccrossan6157]

Im a dog groomer and some lady took home a one year old German shepherd, not her 11 year old one. When she returned it her actual owner came at the same time and was like are you serious? They are not even close. That's why receptionists shouldn't check out dogs. :)

[@MikeJ4196]

Your hall pass is supposed to be someone so famous they are hard to even get close to. Her hall pass was a KZbinr on his first tour that probably hung out with fans for free so that's different and ethical non monogamy needs to be more clearly consented to

[@zebraloverbridget]

She made it clear. The asshole ex boyfriend is the one at fault. If you are unsure about something then just ask about it ffs. that is all it would have taken and yet the ex bf refused to EVER ask about it and then blames her. I hope her next BF is less of a child and isn't afraid of communication or asking questions

[@JaraelMoonsilver]

@@zebraloverbridgetb… because everyone assumes the “hall pass” thing is a joke… why would you ask questions about something you assume is a joke…? She should have clarified, it’s on her.

[@newp0rt]

@@zebraloverbridget wtf is wrong with you? its literally just like common sense that the hall pass thing is a joke. not only that, she went out and did it without telling him, and just told him after the deed was done. she didnt tell him "hey im going to sleep with my hall pass" or whatever. she just did it. AND YOU SIT HERE TALKING ABOUT COMMUNICATION? she literally just went out and banged a small youtuber while having a bf and you blame it on the guy? are you sick in the head?

[@Emmaalindell]

@@JaraelMoonsilverthat comment had to be rage bait bc I don’t believe someone who has that opinion can exist

[@gabbel4103]

@@zebraloverbridget Found the cheater 🤡🤡

[@kmjacque]

About the hallpass thing. I always presumed it was a joke too but this is actually the reason I broke up with my ex gf. We were dating and sort of met in a fan community for a metal band. We were both fangirling for the members of it and she told me, before we even got together that she was friends with one of the members, who was way older than her. I thought that they were just that, friends. But a bit into our relationship they met at a fan meetup and, well, they hooked up. She told me about it all proudly and I was dumbfounded. We'd joked about different members of the group being our "free pass" before but I never took it seriously. We broke things off then but she proceeded to tell the news within the fandom further, until someone eventually leaked it. The musician was fired and, for a while, there were rumours his wife was about to leave him but they stayed together. Anyways, this is how my ex fucked our relationship and this man's career.

[@Random-sk6hm]

No way. This just unlocked a new fear 😃

[@raimarulightning]

You sound pretty dumb in that story, NGL

[@deannaw9128]

That's awful...

[@martophrenia]

feels like the dude fucking his own career

[@martophrenia]

feels like the dude fucked his own career

[@sradhanjalinayak6680]

The first one with the cat is psychopath behaviour

[@barbecuedsimsbaby]

It makes me so sad and angry >:(

[@TheVivaciousNerd]

I think the guy who sexually assaulted his wife and then got mad that she didn’t like it is also a psychopath. Not a very funny confession honestly

[@sainttheresetaylor2054]

@@TheVivaciousNerd yh don't know why he included it in the video

[@alexbc7360]

@15:40 the gunsh*ts at the end of Cody's "roboc0ck" construction had me laughing for absolutely no reason but it was fantastic

[@MMDAMV]

Gunshits?

[@taylor_bscared]

As a person that worked at a Doggy Day Care/Boarding place. The amount of people that would take a dog that kind of looks like theirs is wild.. It almost happened when I was there, but did happen MULTIPLE times at a sister company.

[@nicogoon8359]

this is the first time i don’t have lunch for a cody video and like pavlov’s dog im suddenly starving

[@Paigeypo_]

I really enjoy when Cody turns into a goblin and he can’t control himself so it goes on😂

[@HolyGround777]

Cody in goblin mode makes me giggle

[@blakenator8860]

11:33 The tone of the conversation:💀💀 The background music: 🎶 🎺 🎺 🗣️🗣️

[@nanamajeur1784]

LMFAOOOOOOO how are y’all even thinking about this

[@CryptoTonight9393]

One of my first roommates grew up in a house with a lot of siblings and they kind of had to fend for themselves to get food since their mom would only make like 1 box of hamburger helper to go around to all 7 of the kids. Once he moved out it took him awhile to not snap at other people who reached for food around him when he was in the kitchen and not to eat so much so quickly that he made himself sick.

[@elin_]

18:18 I wish someone was addicted to reverse pickpocketing me.. Could really need it lol

[@dhaniellemila]

watched brittany this morning while getting ready, now watching cody while eating lunch. life’s great

[@kirbyteeth]

SAME

[@juliacrocker178]

I've never had an original experience

[@JazzTen-]

We all took our hands off the wheel EYES CLOSED

[@melodyb941]

literally me

[@Sarah-l8r2w]

Are they a couple or something?

[@QS_1607]

NEVER stop this series.

[@HollowdTV]

P.S. please keep only highlighting the part he's reading Zade! It makes it so much easier to follow along and stay locked into Cody's perspective on the story!

[@calledmedarling]

seconding this!

[@bookie6884]

I wish it just blurred what it hasn't said yet so I can go back and review if needed.

[@GeorgeSavrille]

Haha Cody's gag about what the husband would look like if caught when eating the pizza was exactly what I had in mind. Too funny. "She hears chewing and thinks it's a raccoon, then opens the back porch door and finds her husband eating like a raccoon."

[@mako_minxie]

If someone swapped out my cat I’m losing my shit, the bond his wife had with her ACTUAL cat is down the drain because of him.

[@bararobberbaron859]

I question if she actually had a bond though if she can't tell. And I can't imagine anybody being a good enough liar that if they found that out they'd be able to hide how they felt about it. So my guess is the story is fake, and if its not, well, the husband is a POS but the wife is also sus.

[@1995killswitch]

The last one definitely had put a lot of thought into it, she knew it was achievable, and she wanted to make sure it wasn't some impossible to reach a lister. She belongs to the streets

[@newp0rt]

yeah thats an easy dip. its a random youtuber that probably did free fan meetups.. listen if she went out and slept with brad pitt sure. thats crazy but she went after something possible. she knew it was possible.

[@FoxoticTV]

That first story could literally be a movie. Imagine a human doing that to one of their loved ones or their own kids, just to be replaced by an identical more well behaved replica 😂

[@jenniferh9612]

Rosemary Kennedy if she wasn’t lobotomized

[@AshleyFromTX]

Sounds like a Black Mirror episode lol

[@niyamitchell6818]

That’s just The Stepford Wives lol

[@FoxoticTV]

@@niyamitchell6818 I know what im watching tn, do yous recc the 74 or 2004 version

[@ShroomyD]

Chill dude it was a piece of shit cat

[@Dogs5000]

Love the pizza n wings secret guy like what a lovely way to fulfill your mischievous tendencies. Harmless n fun. People take notes!!

[@lilitheveningstar633]

cody ur my comfort creator and it brings genuine warmth to my soul when u post lol thank you i love you

[@jacktag9160]

one time my dad went to pick up my dog from the shelter when we got back from a family holiday, they take off the collars and there must have been a mix up with the shelter as they gave him the wrong dog. he of course had no idea and proceeded to bring the dog home, thinking it was weird that she wasn't responding but thinking it must of been because we were on holiday for a month. he proceeded to bring it home to the rest of the family who immediately noticed it was a different breed and he had to take it back

[@Random-sk6hm]

Cody: I wanna be more skittish People with siblings: 👁👄👁

[@andrewweidemeier5810]

Nothing makes me happier than a goblincore throwback

[@cla1ir3s]

Watched this while eating a pub sub. Went 10 minutes over my break to finish because the guy I’m working with always takes 20 more minutes than he’s supposed to. I love u cody ko

[@HelloXiuXiu]

Love your content. Super excited to hear your music!

[@simplementexenia]

It’s one of the funniest videos of yours. I don’t know why I laughed so hard and couldn’t stop. Every minute something broke me into laughing. Don’t remember laughing that hard in a long time. Thank you Cody

[@kaylahannon5469]

Divorce right away for the first one that’s so fucked up he had no right poor kitty

[@TheVivaciousNerd]

and for the guy who assaulted his wife

[@GeorgiannaMiller5]

anytime two people are naked and one of them uses the word adequate, it's a good sign

[@na-ky8ou]

"-What do you think about my boobs? -...adequate."

[@Galacoo]

literally JUST sat down to eat this timing is fucking PERFECT

[@chubpilo]

Me too!! this is actually carzy

[@kevinrichardi1005]

same

[@aquademoney]

i just got back from school after feeling rly unwell n leaving like just an hr after it started and finally got my food and my comfy bed and THIS POPS UP??? maybe there IS a god😭🙏❤️

[@gingerleamcwow435]

​@aquademoney that is definitely one of the best examples of proof that there may, in fact, be a god out there somewhere 😂 Hope you feel better soon!

[@Random-sk6hm]

I just sat down with Greggs chicken tenders, wedges and bakes here in England😩

[@ParkerJaster]

This series needs to go on several more times (especially the goblin reference) "I'll be having one of these"

[@endearmentthedoe1191]

Listen, “No Kill” doesn’t mean animals don’t get euthanized there. Where I used to live there’s a no kill shelter and they’d send animals to the county shelter I worked at to be euthanized.

[@bungerchunger5597]

i’ve genuinely had nightmare on repeat and been watching the music video over and over you did so well, both are so well thought out and may I say hard asf. love you sm chody ur so awesome n talented

[@gingerbread846]

It has been MONTHS since the goblin incident and Cody still finds ways to make his way back to it 😂😂

[@chloe78181]

I have unironically been playing the hell out of nightmare. Pure bop

[@dismic3556]

i've been so happy to see this series continue

[@amandacoustille]

Story time from a retired pet groomer about “swapped animals” I started work managing a salon many years ago that had many issues and had basically a complete turn over of staff, prior to me beginning the job. I heard many horror stories about the shop from before my time and there’s one that sticks with me forever. An employee handed out the wrong dog (2 dogs, same name, kinda similar looking. This should not have happened as she could have read the info card and picked the right animal). It was the dog owner’s husband picking up and he didn’t even notice he was given the wrong dog. 20 minutes later, the first dog’s real owner shows up and the employee attempted to pass out the wrong dog again. The owner realized immediately it wasn’t her pet and rightfully became very distraught. They were able to get ahold of the person with the wrong pet, he brought it back and everyone received free grooms for the absolute freak outs that ensued over this situation. In over 10 years in the profession, that’s the only time I’ve ever heard of it happening, but I can’t imagine how freaked out the owners must have been. And they promptly fired that employee. But yeah, double check your pets at pick up, folks! 😅

[@bradleymartinez185]

The goblin callbacks keep me going sometimes i swear

[@S.azzamosbeh]

right on time for my 7pm nap , thank you cody best timing as always

[@annieh.5049]

as some1 who constantly forgets to eat… cody is the perfect reminder for lunch

[@hsmorg3640]

My cat slipped out of the house one winter, and was gone for a couple weeks before she came back, and we luckily saw her when she did.. She's a fluffy tabby, though, so she looks so much like any other cat that would have the same coat.. so we had to do a few things to test her, cause we would know how she would react, to clarify it was actually her.. It also didn't help that she learned how to clean herself better, and became a lot more affectionate once she came back Our other cat is a tortoiseshell short hair, so her patterns are easy to check if she got out

[@amberlozano9061]

The goblin call back had me crying. Because you had me at goblin.😂 “ I’ll be having that” . I’m not joking when I tell you I think about that phrase and people doing goblin core at least once or twice a day. I just think about all the little goblins out there and wondering what is that that they will be having today?🤔 is that enough? Do they need more of that? Are they happy?🤔

[@squishy9007]

Love it when my little Pizza Monster posts at lunch time!

[@ownrc]

bro the pizza goblin part genuinely had me falling on the floor laughing as i warmed up pizza

[@Iampapabean]

Celebrity crush was rumored to be Aries this was posted around the time of his first tour I remember seeing it in line at his concert

[@3amAfterlife]

this was quite the variety of wholesome and depraved confessions

[@thehumancheshirecat]

The wife KNOWS the cat is swapped, she's just milking his silent shame.

[@melsyoutube]

13:40 this is segsooal assawlt!!!! (purposely misspelled phonetically in order to avoid censorship). she already told him NO and he did it anyway, then chastised her for her reaction. DISGUSTING. she needs a divorce and he needs to be punished.

[@hollow_me_out]

This isn't TikTok; you can just say sexual assault.

[@deftoneslover]

u won’t get censored for that on KZbin

[@deftoneslover]

but yes I agree!!!

[@hadeyx]

robocock has my interest peaked

[@gio1884]

im enjoying tf out of my dinner ty cody for uploading just now

[@PanickinSkywalker]

The cat story made me so glad my cats are super unique looking.

[@ElectricShinn]

The celeb crush situation is crazy. Leave that chick

[@l0st888]

It ain't lunch time for me but I'll still watch cody

[@jarredjacob2244]

9:31 I would imagine the dude with the pizzas is supposed to be dieting and his wife will hold him to that hahaha

[@A·c·h·i·l·l·l·e·s·Last·Stand]

I relate to the midnight pizza one so much, once a month I'll order a bunch of take-out and just binge but I only do this on the one day that my partner and I aren't together (because of work). He thinks im having normal dinner but im stuffing myself with take-out. I cant get myself to tell him this. Its my alone time at home to be a fat pig.

[@Noodle787]

No kill shelters (after the cat has been there long enough) gets sent to a kill shelter.

[@grnth1987]

I LOVE YOU CODY

[@barabara9855]

nice pfp

[@rich_granny]

THIS IS THE BEST PART OF TODAY

[@lovemarkin]

I’m so glad there’s another confessions video, these are my favorite as of lately. Happy lunch time everyone 🫶

[@brichilders9117]

11:05 I am 100% certain this commenter is referring to Butterscotch Horseman.

[@sarahhawkins4677]

The same thing was going through my mind

[@jordanleighwheatley]

Omg this reverse pick-pocketing is the cutest thing I've ever heard

[@MadisonAgner]

Nah I made it known that we can joke about hall passes but it could never happen idc who it is. You wouldn’t treat it like it was okay if it happened with a “regular” person. And celebrities are just decorated regular people 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Talentedtadpole]

You could never trust the cat guy.