YOUR First Dates From HELL (Fan Submissions)

Outro songs: / stupidassbeats
edited by zade:
insta / reallyzade
Jobs: www.notion.so/...
Video Idea / Collaboration Form: forms.gle/2Hnc...

[@maxthunderbolt4355]

competitive glizzy eating on a first date is honestly a power move. Dude got played

[@piss-off-peter2972]

lets be real, the dude played himself. Leaving after seeing your date inhale hotdogs all the way up to FOURTH PLACE; i'd be turned on. they could give you the gluck gluck 50000 AND HE LEFT!!!!

[@rileigh5642]

He is missing out

[@claireful]

I would have married her

[@Silly1336]

And at his favorite glitzy spot. Smh

[@shannonholle4654]

he was probably just embarrassed he could never achieve such an accomplishment

[@streetdreams6700]

The “oooh she thicc” replaying as he’s “watching it back” is so funny

[@sashashanelle]

Literally fckn hilarious 😂😂😂

[@johannareinvald7201]

congrats to cody for learning a new phrase "match my freak"

[@isqqcc]

HES EVOLVED 😰

[@sydahnee157]

Glad I’m not the only one who noticed immediately

[@coldjoints]

I'm crying at the hotdog one "hes kinda matching her freak a little bit"

[@martispartis05]

Kelsey 100% taught him that😭

[@agilbreath.907]

Unc is catching up with the times

[@daphne1754]

cody definitely just learned “match my freak” 😭

[@respectfulgamer7232]

I think you just did, but ok ;p

[@corajohnson7251]

😊

[@nomosisfast]

the huge phone and tiny cody FUCKING KILLED ME

[@BlowAway11]

same xD

[@sunsetlover5987]

Same I love this😂

[@isqqcc]

ZADE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY 😭😭😭

[@naaorima]

They are getting funnier and funnier. Such a dream team

[@k0shmarNevaBroke]

The regular size phone and regular size Cody***

[@kateki8801]

Cody admitting to shitting his pants very recently is such an alpha move

[@Grooveedood]

I think it’s way more common than anyone except Cody is willing to admit

[@rm665]

he's done worse than he hasn't admitted to yet

[@AlyssaPaige16]

Was thinking the same thing 😂 love how comfortable he is with us ✨

[@rm665]

@@AlyssaPaige16 he's especially comfortable if you are significantly younger than him

[@AlyssaPaige16]

@@rm665 ayooo?

[@hayhay4774]

Damn, Zade really revealed how short Cody is with that phone bit. Maybe Cody needs to eat some lunch with us and start bulking

[@Juke47483]

This was funny

[@Squibbins18]

He did a fantastic job… I was dying.😂

[@wolfpacksk3258]

He needs to eat some hot dogs (if hes in the mood for it of course)

[@Kuchhh]

There are enough obese people in the world already, thanks 👌

[@spiffyxo347]

Bulking = height gain 🙂‍↕️👍

[@vb3921]

The fact that she was down to fuck with him after all that 😭😭

[@megand12345]

Seriously 😭

[@jiannadalman8660]

wait which one

[@vb3921]

@@jiannadalman8660 the hamster influencer

[@Walleyedwosaik]

@@megand12345DAMN SHE THICC

[@tylerd.5694]

That's because ooo she thicc

[@kahnabull1694]

I haven’t laughed so hard all day as tiny Cody on a large phone watching TikTok while a hypothetical man coils in pain waiting for an ambulance 10 feet away.

[@BakeXlove11]

Lol the fact that he kept getting smaller and smaller 😂

[@haleyjnewb6933]

“Haven’t stood this long in a while”

[@reecesurette5546]

These are my favorite parts of his videos

[@linooo8137]

im crying laughing at the stool

[@karabeth6280]

@@haleyjnewb6933

[@blastypie]

Love how everyones like “lunch time!” While there are like 3 shit-involved stories, thanks cody

[@courtneylust]

😭😭😭😭true

[@ShroomyD]

Makes the chocolate pudding desert even better 😋

[@sleepybeepymeepy]

AND THERE WAS A TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO

[@RainbowFrog534-cb5yn]

EXACTLY

[@mothman_unsolved3519]

this episode was NOT lunch friendly

[@MAGICC.GAMING]

Its also nsfw

[@444tst]

JUST sat down with my napkin filled with nail chunks

[@lu-annduxbury3181]

Laughing imaging Kelsey hearing Kody's repeated "she thiiiicc" line about the hamster 😂😂

[@melissag2472]

Zade had real fun with this one 😭

[@isqqcc]

REAL LMFAO I WAS DYINGGG

[@gabriellaraziah]

for sure😂

[@Timman57]

Just sittin there, 4th place ribbon in hand, hot dogs on your breathe, abandoned and alone, now THATS a rock bottom you can build a house on 😂

[@kayenjee]

😭

[@kamrynkavanagh910]

A napkin full of nail chunks… and now I’m done with lunch

[@Taylor-AnnDDavis]

i wanted to VOMIT

[@tyberiusrex5300]

Ya I’m dipping if someone does that when I’m tryna eat

[@heavenknox]

Good that you stopped there and didn’t get further into the video while still eating like I did 😂

[@catsforlife3540]

@@heavenknoxsame I was barely finishing up when I heard 15:15

[@izekt5172]

@@pinkwitchalley fr what is with his recent videos and shit jokes

[@mikaylamartin3z]

Current bf and I met on tinder and started seeing eachother a few months ago. He lives a couple hours away so we planned out a whole visit for him to drive down and stay with me and all that so we could go on a date. The day of, he tells me he’s on his way and three hours later he still hasn’t updated at all. I think he ghosted me and decide to take a sad little nap but wake up to a picture of his totalled car and a text saying he crashed, did a full roll, and had been desperately searching the side of the road for his phone which was misplaced in the wreck. He got checked out by emergency services and had his car towed to my city where I met him for the first time at the salvage lot. I bought him a big bowl of ramen, he told me about his bruised ribs, and the next day his dad and brother had to come get him and he had to make up some story about why he was in town. To make things worse I was so nervous after dinner I threw up the ramen but it did feel like evened the playing field bc he was a dummy who flipped his car for a girl and I was a dummy who couldn’t hold down food bc she was nervous about a boy

[@carisagraziano2138]

This is great I hope you get married

[@BassFlapper]

Sounds like you were meant for each other

[@ItsJC-gu3jz]

L

[@robertgarcia4627]

im both of yall

[@lane95]

That's amazing that's fucking adorable

[@TheFuzzyBear328]

just sat down with my spoon and lighter

[@oliviaelise3997]

😂😂😂😂

[@jimlahey3919]

The needle and the spoon. Take a trip... to the moon

[@julswtv]

I hope your soup is good and the candles smell nice

[@spidermom69]

This one got me 😂🤣

[@wasimanabtawi5666]

Plastic time!

[@alannahd.7417]

The hot dog story is funnier because I’m imagining that it’s 4 people and she WAS just taking her time 😂 like she had 2 hot dogs max

[@RougeBlisters]

He may be a secret rapper but he is no secret crapper

[@djentlover]

You made me sniff laugh

[@benwolpers8996]

you made me mouth exhale laugh

[@annalee6966]

i audibly giggled

[@ashrdashr]

our little comedian ehh?

[@moniqueprem]

That MLM date is feeling like an always sunny episode

[@joonsantini]

Literally was Mac and Charlie

[@hanniballecter1960]

literally 😭😭

[@blastypie]

I thought u meant the other mlm and was like wait did i miss smth?

[@aalires]

Berries!

[@lindsaydavis6313]

That wad my story 😂 I didn't think he'd actually tell it.

[@deadbino]

tiny cody scrolling thru tiktok with the phone propped up was too good.

[@helenfaith1508]

getting pitched an energy drink scam is probably the best thing that could happen after following a random guy you just met into his basement 😭

[@nat-nv6sv]

i’m so glad you updated i almost starved myself waiting!

[@ktierarichardson4341]

Zade! You outdid yourself. Thank you for making Cody small 🙏 it’s my favorite bit of lore.

[@zimroidmcgee]

Agreed!

[@klaraf.b.9820]

"Who's in the mood for hotdogs" Cody have you ever met a New Yorker

[@danidarkoxo]

Or a Chicagoan

[@MAGICC.GAMING]

Any southerner.

[@Random-sk6hm]

he not american

[@leanneparker6139]

@@MAGICC.GAMINGin tx i never hear ppl craving hot dogs 😭

[@axhleym]

Or Toronto

[@holley9170]

Cody: knows we are eating lunch while watching Also cody: nail chunks, chunks, chunks

[@JumpingGrenades]

turd chunks was a strong follow-up

[@kaylahandford805]

Your confusion over the hotdog thing is baffling.

[@joonsantini]

Literally, especially in a small town we have so many hot dog stands! I have a favorite and occasionally I crave it

[@cryptiddy]

I think hotdogs aren't as popular in Canada, maybe thats why he has that perspective?

[@kaylahandford805]

I'm from Canada and can see a hotdog cart from my window right now haha

[@cryptiddy]

@@kaylahandford805 what part?

[@soho6435]

nah i thought the same exact thing “people crave hot dogs??”

[@emmamix]

All things considered, an energy drink MLM sales pitch was probably the BEST case scenario of what could've gone down in that basement. Thank god she's safe.

[@femke8036]

I was SO relieved when she revealed it was an MLM in the story at 19:30

[@Matrimonyncheese]

Worst first date: I was a freshman in college and was a social butterfly. Right before Christmas break, I went to a big Christmas light exhibit with some friends. One friend brought another guy. I was friendly and talked to the new guy for 10ish minutes. We find out we were from another state and had lived in the same area. We both were business students and actually had a lot in common. Two months later I get a message from the same guy stating he had free tickets to a play and wanted to know if I wanted to "go with everyone". I assumed everyone meant some of our mutual friends. I went because I could get extra credit for going to the play. Plus, I'd get to see my friends. I end up meeting the guy at the theatre and we go and sit down. We sit right in the middle of this empty row. You know, plenty of room for everyone else. Once seated he asks me the EXACT same questions he asked me two months prior. I spent 10 minutes repeating everything i told him in December while waiting for the other people to come. No one came. Apparently "everyone" was just him. The lights dimed and this guy put his hand on my upper thigh and tried to press me to tell him more interesting things about me. I dont like being touched. Especially by what's practically a stranger. I quickly move my leg as I realized I was on a date. I stayed polite, but as soon as the play was over, I ducked away. Some time later, I run into the guy again and he tried to start the same conversation for a 3rd time. He never bothered to remember a thing about me...

[@SmellMyKnee15]

I’m sorry to hear all of this that guy seems so weird! It gave me the heebie jeebies

[@Jacksxb]

Day 400 of Cody’s editor making him 6 inches tall

[@ZadeINC]

This guy gets it

[@ojtiv]

@@ZadeINC you gotta do it :D

[@ItsJC-gu3jz]

@@ZadeINCpookie zade 😍

[@LiterallySamFisher]

@@ZadeINCthe Goat

[@BaileyPreston-mb3pb]

Cody just learned the phrase "match my freak"

[@MikeGubisch]

just sat down with my asparagus chocolate croissant

[@aidanthompson4328]

Brother no

[@hayhay4774]

That’s quite the combo

[@isqqcc]

Love it! ❤ Love it! ❤ Love it! ❤

[@Bryant19999]

Oddly I can see that being good.

[@MikeGubisch]

@@aidanthompson4328don't knock it till ya try it mate 🤗

[@Lilyibanez]

Can't believe Brad Pitt in his prime has a youtube channel!!

[@melbatoast1985]

Ladies to the resturant check, "You will be having THIS" followed by goblin noises as they finish their Mai Tai.

[@grey_f98]

don't get me wrong I don't think that date with her coworker went well, but it's crazy to me that she acted like having to pay for a man or picking him up from home is like a massively shitty thing of him to do to her (when that's exactly what men have to usually deal with and most men are totally understanding of it)

[@ajmusic4500]

@@grey_f98 think its probably cos he's the one who suggested the date

[@drewbrueske719]

Cody is actually that small Zade just photoshops him big in every video

[@the_nikster1]

Zade's editing skills really popped off in this video. impressive!

[@aliaj4038]

zade making the written segments bigger and bigger is killing me

[@Fleur.dootson]

I’m soaking my acrylics off rn and had difficulty tapping on this video but it had to be done

[@angiegibson6598]

As a Canadian, Cody just doesn’t understand the American desire of hotdogs

[@angelicaravesloot908]

Dine and dash is matching my freak PLEASE🤣🤣🤣

[@michaelsanchez-fouchecourt3199]

Its so fun seeing when cody learns new slang and uses it at every occasion

[@alannahd.7417]

Cody being smaller than the phone killed me 😭 I didn’t even notice

[@savannahayala617]

The way he dismisses the werewolf vampire thing kills me

[@jessicaw410]

Wait, cause this is actually really fucking funny. I’ve never laughed as hard at a video before. Microscopic Cody is my favorite.

[@FYMCOLLECTIVE]

I got a ad for diarrhea medicine watching this video💀

[@MustacheKat16]

Cody with the phone in the back is some of the best editing ive ever seen

[@CometAlmighty]

***not safe for lunch***

[@EMoneyPoker]

Lunch=ready, cody=ko

[@sappy5143]

she=onika ate=burgers

[@nokulungancongwane6906]

hotel=trivago

[@Yeard491]

Holy fuck the editing is incredible on this one LOL

[@rebeccatenaglia6952]

I don’t even look at the title. I see Cody, I click

[@SmellMyKnee15]

It be like that cuz

[@townieofthenorth]

Real

[@leGalliot]

Just layed down for my colonoscopy. Cody never misses with the timings!

[@lunchladylinda2101]

the sort bits are going so above and beyond now i love it, amazing editing

[@safiyamuhammad9583]

everyone else is enjoying their lunch with cody, i enjoy my breakfast with cody. yes i'm unemployed

[@Momoney-ob6xp]

Literally eating meatball marinara for lunch right now. So thank you for that

[@lindsaydavis6313]

I wad dyeing my hair listening to this and thought the mlm story sounded familiar until i realized that was my dumb story 😂😂 damn near got hair dye in my eye!

[@juliehayden123]

You got 4th place good for you, screw the guy who left

[@I_Am_because_God_Is]

That first date reminded me of the time my (m) cousin 14 at the time and myself 16 at the time were dancing in my room and my knee popped out of place, I fell to the ground and my cousin starts laughing and screaming in my face “ April fools right” over and over again while I was screaming in pain over the loud music, my mom comes running in shuts the music off and I’m still screaming and my cousin is on the floor next to me cry laughing.... until he realized I wasn’t joking and felt horrible. I didn’t even know it was April 1st 😂

[@gabriellaraziah]

goodness 😂

[@spacedino91]

Poor Cody, you know you are getting older when you cannot trust a fart anymore.

[@froydinger]

Everytime Cody tells Zade not to make him small you just know the next video is gonna be microscopic. Well played with that phone bit Z well played

[@Altered_ego]

My friends, remember if someone invites you to their home and you don’t feel comfortable - trust your gut and don’t go inside! There are unfortunately much worse folks out there than MLMarketers

[@guitarstar0101]

Cody telling the story of him shitting his pants is KILLING ME

[@thatoneguy9473]

That MLM story could have gone WAY worse. 😂

[@kayleehillam8245]

IM THE FIRST FUCKING STORY MY LIFE IS MADE NOW THAT CODY KNOWS I EXIST HAHA I LOVE YOU !!!!!

[@mjgray192]

Lmao that one was so good

[@nobitchesandnoriches]

DID YOU GO OUT WITH HIM AGAIN AFTER HE BROKE HIS LEG????

[@imofa4966]

Just whipped out my cinnamon applesauce cup

[@FaithTheZombieWolf]

Omg I love those

[@LilAnnThrax]

My horror story came after the date. I met the guy at the mall, he seemed nice. We ended up at my place watching movies and messing around a little. The next afternoon he sent me a voice memo of him reciting a poem he had written about f*ngering me. I think my body turned inside out of embarrassment listening to it. The only part I vaguely remember is "then you came at my fingertips like a guitar"

[@kayenjee]

🙏🏽

[@itz_grass5890]

That's actually wild

[@nobitchesandnoriches]

WHAT THE FUCK

[@G.i._Jew]

These are all fake cus Cody Ko fans don’t get dates

[@SirPunzalot]

Username checks out

[@grey_f98]

no, just you

[@littlesparrow]

@@SirPunzalothow?

[@tim0735]

Why did we tell him we eat lunch while we watch? Now he takes full advantage and makes so many poop jokes 😭

[@isqqcc]

1:49 CODY HELP 😭😭 THAT WAS SO OUT OF THE BLUE

[@lizbird]

the detail Zade made of highlighting the like button in rainbow when Cody says "hit the like button" is a nice touch

[@vhsextra4042]

Cody finds one current slang *beats it into the pavement *

[@smirnowski]

Imagine watching this video and realize someone is describing a date with you.

[@diongomez4568]

Zade commits to the bit 🔥🔥

[@0Yazz]

Cody I can't emphasize enough how hard I was laughing at this video... I'm in my desk at work CACKLING in this serious BUSINESS office and I cant help it hahaha

[@ChiefVizier]

Not how you use "emphasize".

[@0Yazz]

@@ChiefVizier yes it is 👍

[@SpiritKat1]

THE LUNCH BELL

[@alyrock257]

LOL I can't believe Cody just told us he shit himself recently this is amazing content and I can't believe youtube is free

[@griz915]

The editing zade, 10/10

[@ElvenSailor_Main]

Thanks Cody for finally taking your necklace out of ur shirt. We really appreciate it. We see you, we support you, we appreciate you.

[@juliathomas3727]

Mr. Struggle back with another banger fr

[@NoImNotOkay]

The guy with the plaid pants seemed great until he started showing thirst traps. He seemed attentive, he wanted to make sure she ate and that she was okay. Then he just decided to nose dive into hell for funzies

[@annaallred7859]

bro. I literally JUST finished my lunch. I contemplated waiting 10 minutes just for this video

[@rinneston]

Noooo 😭 RIP

[@AmityAlyce]

This one dropped at the perfect 12pm my time. Usually it’s 1pm here and I don’t get to lunch break with you guys but TODAY I still don’t get to lunch break with you guys

[@Kuchhh]

@@AmityAlyceyou wouldn’t be able to anyway _BECAUSE YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET LOL_

[@AmityAlyce]

@@Kuchhh yeah hence my last sentence…

[@Eye_riz]

The edits of Cody being small and being uncomfortably long make it so much funnier 😭

[@ethangillingham401]

lunch time

[@paigemurray9578]

in the bath. mac n cheese. cried all day. needed this

[@zlatomiraboneva5192]

Thanks for the turd chunks extensive commentary Cody! Yes, I was eating.

[@annaliselitchard]

Me too…🫠

[@COPPERHEAD-nl8oi]

PLEASE MAKE THIS A USUAL SERIES!!!

[@Cmrnnn]

cody rambling about never wanting hotdogs is making me really want hotdogs

[@IllestElle]

Editing is so top tier. Mon Dieu 🤯

[@dedzeppelin]

burrito bowl in hand and just finished the recent tmg episode where u mentioned filming this...i am ready.

[@mxttitude]

zade's editing just keeps getting better and better

[@nacarotdino2839]

Glad I watched this right AFTER lunch rather than during

[@ethanciccarello740]

“having your dog paint your shin” had me crawling 😂

[@not_really_naomi]

My worst date story was when I was 16 I had my very first date with the neighbor boy. He showed up and told me to get in the passenger seat of the truck, his friend who would be driving us. Then he proceeded to jump into the bed of the truck leaving me with some guy I'd never seen before and pushing off a pile of trash from my seat. We drove to Chili's and my date jumped out of the truck bed with 2 other friends at this point there's a total of 3 guys that aren't my date on this date. I try to walk towards the Chili's and my date informs me that we're still waiting for some friends to come eventually the car shows up and his friends start pouring out of the car like it's a clown car. By the time we're walking towards the Chili's it's me and 9 guys including my date. They proceed to walk in yell loudly "Welcome to Chili's!" Then run out of the restaurant while t-posing and also ditching me. I follow them out confused and my date explains they were only going to Chili's for the memes and we're actually eating at the BBQ place across the street. I silently eat my dinner disassociating the entire time. At least he paid for my dinner. Eventually it was late so I asked when I'd get to go home. He looked at me puzzled and asked, "Don't you have a ride home?" I explain that no obviously you were my ride here you're also my ride home. He then tells me that he's going to hang out with his bros at the Barnes and Noble and I'm left with no choice but to follow as I wait for my parents to pick me up. There they ran around and pretended to be gorillas obnoxiously fighting and being loud. My parents got there I informed my date and said goodbye to his 8 friends he was disappointed to hear that there wouldn't be a second date.

[@MenverMan]

Kinda sounds like the dude was gay lol

[@faser1rarefindrecords362]

These are my fav type of videos man.. confession types. Way better than the button. Great vid

[@figdestroyer]

If my date entered a glizzy eating contest I would not only stay, I would cheer them on.

[@noelhojnacki2261]

Little Cody with a big phone might be my favorite!!!! The shrinkage has gotten better and better…

[@spellxthief]

holy hell as cody was joking about eating turd chunks, i was thinking "hah, i already finished eating my meatballs and potatoes, jokes on you" and then he mentions meatballs lmao

[@WidderJonesWannabe]

New favorite Cody quote, "A: I'm a secret rapper. B: I shit my pants this morning."