XFM The Ricky Gervais Show Series 1 Episode 3 - Don't do that mate

The Ricky Gervais Show Broadcast 24th November 2001.
Thanks for all your support, it's a privilege to be able to document these shows for other like-minded people to enjoy.
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Series 4 is here... • All Of Series 4 The Ri...
Rarities, Specials & Compilations are here... • Rarities, Specials & C...

[@yvonnefuellemann9262]

Still listening in 2024…happy new year!

[@ValkyrieDaisy95]

-"Never forget son.." - "I don't REMEMBER dad.." XD!

[@ManMoth]

+Daisy Chambers Hahaha!

[@brownayy]

Take a shot every time Steve says "That's true enough", "Man alive", or "Arbitrary"

[@GT-vo5go]

Dynamite

[@williamsmith666]

We'll "keep you abreast."

[@tomritchie1119]

First time I’ve seen someone comment about that 😂😂😂 I notice “arbitrary” every time

[@michaelreddington658]

Interrrrrrinable

[@whitedragon9731]

Also "swank"

[@Owen-wc1wr]

Ah man, it finally happened. I had my 27th birthday a couple of weeks ago, so I'm now the same age Steve was when he had already written and directed The Office.

[@ealo8747]

But still havent reached the age ricky was! He says its no rush

[@carlriggs5413]

Man I am at work listening to this as a now 28 year old and had exactly the same thought as you xD feelsbadman.

[@bryskib9412]

Take solace in the fact that , I assume, that you're not a lanky, goggle-eyed freak 👍

[@christhomas9221]

@@ealo8747nice to see a fellow elliott smith x rsk enjoyer

[@AtnaRecords1]

"There's nobody else who looks like Steve" "That's OUTRAGEOUUUUS!"

[@lackedpuppet9022]

I love how in this episode he's saying 'imagine if they spent that kind of money advertising our show' in regards to posters on the tube, and then later in the series he's telling stories involving the tube posters they ended up with. It shows the evolution.

[@abenhur100]

Noticed that whenever Ricky does a sexy melody it's always "the girl from ipanema"..? It's like his go-to song

[@dannyross8623]

I’ve always noticed that and never understood why. Not the traditional bow chicka bow wow.

[@slipshodsquiggles]

Yeah, he even used the music for a sketch on one of his stand up DVDs. I think because that music was often used in those kind of scenarios on TV.

[@aymonc]

Its cliche sauntery sexy music...

[@whitedragon9731]

@@dannyross8623 That's not traditional. That's retarded.

[@jackmurphy9057]

When Steve mentions the DJs at XFM (15:30) and says "At least two I know of that are smackheads" I'm pretty sure that he's referencing Russell Brand who was working at XFM at the time and was a heroin addict. Just something interesting I found on my eight hundredth listen.

[@KatbotZ]

+Jack Murphy Holy shit.

[@samwebb5329]

That's a good point. Of course they are referencing Claire sturgess as well.

[@lewiscranston881]

Yeah and jokingly Sturgess

[@mattc7191]

+smalla ss Karl mentioned him a few times. He spoke about going to get a facial with Russell

[@phantomspade2242]

that's libelous!

[@bobbyweezer]

I want to hear the anecdote about Steve's dad and a shed.

[@lewiscranston881]

Yeah me tio

[@MinaF99]

From what I can remember the shed story is that at one point in Stephens adolescence his dad panicked about the world ending, something about deciphering the book of revelations, and one night he took Steve out to their shed and showed him that he had been stockpiling food for the apocalypse. Steve told his friend Dan about this and Dan thought it would be a great idea to tell a girl about the world ending and somehow get a blowjob out of if, and it actually worked. Steve obviously thought that it was brilliant and tried it himself which unsurprisingly turned out disastrous.

[@bobbyweezer]

!! thanks!

[@adamfelts5355]

+Mina F were did you hear that at?!?!

[@MinaF99]

+Adam Felts I've been fan of these guys for so long that I am basically an expert on all things related to them and any obscure information about them I've probably absorbed at some point through the years. How I heard the shed story is that long ago Steven told it at a standup show and someone who was at the show wrote out the whole story somewhere deep in the Internet, it's probably still out there if you wanna take the time to find it.

[@hankochai]

Just started listening to the XFM shows in 2021 and am now on Round Two. Thank you, ManMoth!

[@The_HouStoner]

Great to have you

[@perfektdolli]

Oh I’m jealous! I wish I was hearing them for the first/second time. I’ve had them on repeat for about 6 years. Enjoy!! 😍

[@mistervanderveer]

Mammoth! The big hairy cow!

[@justinkline8437]

"I'll give you seven. You can make up the ten."

[@thecurmudgeon3131]

The debut of Stephen's obsession with the word "arbitrary."

[@lobsterairsoft499]

Its interminable

[@tredeuce]

I came to your comment and he spoke the word 3 seconds later.

[@ChimozuFu]

xD

[@WollongongWacko]

Man alive

[@brannon8498]

Its his bread and butter

[@dalemcmahon4130]

Ricky gets away with his obsession of the word libellous because of how much Steve says arbitrary 😂

[@winocarpenter]

Especially since Ricky uses it incorrectly every single time.

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

"Don't do that mate." Fucking Classic title for this one, ManMoth! x

[@ManMoth]

+BigJamook Haha, cheers BigJamook x

[@Asidders]

What's that in reference to?

[@Sheriff_GrimLaw]

@@Asidders Uh. A line in this episode! 🙄

[@tottenham2294]

@@Sheriff_GrimLaw people are fucking stupid I swear 😂

[@josephedwards4325]

"if you let me in you can put in 3 yourself mate".

[@user-yg4vh6pt2u]

20+ years later and I’m still wondering what was up with Steve’s dad and that shed

[@kygodragon4782]

Eipsteins list.

[@GooglyEyedJoe]

31:28 - "What d'you mean their anniversary is on the same day? Of course it's on the same day!" "......Yeah and their birthd...*laughs*" xD

[@Aalborg42]

Ricky sounds thrilled on the prospect of going out with Stephen and his parents

[@DecvsJapan]

Who else started listening when they were younger than Steve and Karl (in the podcasts) and is now older than them lol?

[@ilcorvo9559]

yep. passed Karl last year

[@shecklesmack9563]

Yeahhh still a bit of way's to go before I pass Steve and Karl at the end of the podcasts and about a decade before I reach Ricky's baseline lol.

[@KubbsWickedSoul]

Yes! I remember finding it scary that I’d eventually be older than them while they recorded this. I passed 27 (Steve) quite a few years ago, now. Scary, indeed.

[@geeij]

Still good in 2020. No trio better to listen to imo. Wish they would get back for a final run of podcasts

[@shecklesmack9563]

Wouldn't work, sadly. By the tail end of the podcasts it was already feeling really forced and Karl is way too worldly now. Also, Ricky's a bell end.

[@anandjacob1]

@@shecklesmack9563 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@anandjacob1]

P😊😊

[@rickdonnelly3937]

I'm from 2123 but listening in 2023, weird innit? Thankfully these shows are timeless.

[@maximumbeans9310]

@@rickdonnelly3937have you found yourself riding a bike yet?

[@kd8835]

First listened to these about 5 years ago, non stop! 2020 anyone?

[@teebs2724]

Same here Olgierd. Never get old. Couldn't believe my luck when I discovered them.

[@ste1301]

2019, still legendary

[@SunnyDays00]

When the the last time Man Moth answered a comment?? Appreciate him every day

[@vividhkothari1]

Kar's shyness is showing. You can tell it's the good ol' days. It's adorable.

[@NatalieTallulah]

Smerch's telling of what his Dad got for his Mum's birthday sounds like an episode of Friday Night Dinner 😂

[@NiallSlimDrew]

“He got it from a bloke called Jimmy Dublin” “He sounds like a respectable member of the community” “He was fine! I think he was an Irish gentleman” “You surprise me!”

[@LiquidSpiral]

Totally missed that the first few times

[@stephencooper5155]

The way every single link just falls apart cracks me up every time, what a fucking shambles!

[@jolleyolley1204]

It's funny how they actually try to be a normal radio show at this stage

[@RetardPwnage]

5:10 The shed story Info dump below From the Pilkipedia page, for anyone who cares. It was mentioned by Steve in his standup in 2007-2008 and a fan recounts it hazily. Ok so he started off talking about his first girlfriend, and how his Dad's sex advice was not adequate - Milk Milk, Lemonade, Round the corner Chocolate's Made (with actions!). So then he said that one night, him and his parents were watching tv, and his mum went to bed. His Dad then said 'Steve I need to tell you something'. Apparently he thought oh my god, were his parents getting divorced or something (he was 16 at the time). His Dad then said this: 'Steve, I've deciphered the Book of Revelations and it's not good news. Don't tell your Mother, it will only worry her'. Then his Dad took him outside and walked down the garden to the Shed (this is where we clicked it was the shed story believe it or not). His Dad opened the shed and it was packed full, from floor to ceiling, of tin cans, for when the inevitable nuclear bomb blast occurred! Steve then said there were also two packets of Angel Delight. But they weren't the brand ones, they were Tesco Value, so he made some remark about his Dad being stingy or something. He also made a joke about eating it and enjoying the fact it was only 14p or whatever while his tongue was falling out, I can't remember exactly!! He also did a little mime of his Dad whisking up the Angel Delight in a nuclear war situation which was funny. (It veers away from the Shed specifically here) Ok so he said this all really worried him, so he told his friend Dan (Steve Show fans, I'm pretty sure this is THE Dan). He then told us that Dan told a girl that the end of the world was coming, and that he didn't want to die without having had a blow job - and the girl gave him a blow job!! Steve swears this is true by the way. So Steve obviously loving this, thinks its a brilliant way to get a girl. Tells us a story of this girl he liked, trying to ask her out etc, offering to pay to go to an art gallery but actually getting in free with his Blue Peter badge etc! Then eventually he said to this girl 'My mate Dan........' and told her the story, to which she replied 'That's Disgusting!!'. And all Steve's hopes were crushed - he said it's not really what you want to hear when you're hoping for a blow job.

[@craftycraff7938]

Thanks for this!

[@sophiebophiex]

youre a legend

[@kygodragon4782]

Not reading it, too long.

[@shecklesmack9563]

I know I’m not the only one who scrolled to the end expecting a “turns out... little monkey fella” ending 🥴

[@LiquidSpiral]

@@shecklesmack9563 YES

[@DreamClean]

I've been listening since I was about 15 years old and next year I'm going to overtake Steve in age. 27 next year 😭

[@JustinKlineTheComedian]

Congrats!

[@LevWobegon]

That must mean you are 26 now.

[@DreamClean]

@@LevWobegon I just turned 27 at the start of June :(

[@LevWobegon]

@@DreamClean Mate you totally ruined my Carl Joke with the insensitive timing of your birthday!

[@DreamClean]

@Tr3v0r It has been 8 weeks but thanks!!! 🤩👍

[@KatbotZ]

Years later still waiting for that shed story to pop up.

[@Feel_theagi]

Katbot I know another shed story but you may want to brace yourself..........shed seven have split up.....

[@calumspeight8930]

Joe Sarsfield YOU ARE JOKING

[@OfficialFingazMC]

@@Feel_theagi I never knew who shed seven were when they referenced it, but I got interviewed on the radio for a song I did a few years ago and shed seven were interviewed after (they got back together a few years back). Still not a fucking clue who they are/were, I thought they worked in the studio lol!

[@pvthudson5069]

Someone explained it in the comments. It involves end of the world and a blow job. Say no more.

[@Driftking859]

@@OfficialFingazMC rumour has it they were very close with oasis before they were famous and they helped Noel with his songwriting if you put the oasis and shed seven logos together they are basically the same

[@SamFroki]

I like how when I clicked on this vid, Ricky's ad for the David Brent movie played.

[@HeatyFrog]

13:36 Clearly Ricky has been told about the last episode getting a complaint upheld

[@3a2a4ve5e]

19:50 don't do that mate

[@LiquidSpiral]

19:22 will forever be my favorite radio moment

[@LiquidSpiral]

The pool rant is my favourite of Ricky’s

[@NatS3703]

13:35 - that's one of my favourite Gervais gems- 'do you want to complain, you..." 😅

[@shecklesmack9563]

LMAO that voice

[@yatub3391]

I have a 5 month break from these and restart them again. They just never get old.

[@jessemiles2426]

...Salem.

[@davidkglevi]

So educational for us who aren't native english speakers. We get to google unexpected words like: "trowel".

[@MattLoftus85]

"He was so scared he ripped a bit of the Alien's face off" classic :)

[@shecklesmack9563]

"Don't do that, mate."

[@thecurmudgeon3131]

I hope you enjoyed that go-kart story folks, ‘cos Ricky will bring that one out about ten more times.

[@pvthudson5069]

You hear half the stuff from his stand up on here somewhere, but he's just testing it out, you have to tell a story a few times to get the flow right. He's not cheating anyone, it's normal procedure.

[@shecklesmack9563]

Much like Steve's "we've arranged to meet back at you" which he still brings up to this day.

[@studkickass513]

@j mula As Ricky says, this is the problem with this world. People now think "my opinion is worth as much as your fact". Because, A) who's funnier is insanely subjective, and B) (I'll play your game) You're just wrong. Fact.

[@jordanramsey2538]

After listening to all of Deadly Sirius, I can confirm it makes about 45 appearances in that podcast too 😂

[@chairmanmeow8388]

@@shecklesmack9563 He did that on would I lie to you. He said he was in trafalgar Square then so either all the times he told that on here he was lying about it being in Bristol or he was half lying on the telly.

[@willreimer5442]

"Beautifully preserved in their memories" That's true enough, Steve.

[@7ali7]

Just realized I've been listening to this for easily 18 years. Mental.

[@L_Martin]

Wow I can’t believe Steve was only 26 or younger in the earlier episodes!! I thought for sure he was like mid to late 30s. Ricky is 14 years older than him, so 40 years old here… It’s so weird this was so long ago and I’m older than Steve was then.

[@kygodragon4782]

He wasn't 26, he was 29, but on his bday he was 28 and a week before he was 27. Not hard to understand.

[@chained_rose]

Lol at Karl saying he is always grateful for gifts. The gameboy comes to mind.

[@Crinkle65]

I agree. It’s as silly as Karl taking offense to Steves mood bringing the show down.

[@WAMSMASHES]

He just instantly thought of the value difference, didn't want to be tucked up 😂

[@alandodd3184]

collected wartime speeches of Winston Churchill. genius. no way are these 15 years old!!

[@jianblundell6038]

I was a baby during season 1

[@mistervanderveer]

Never forget, son.

[@duskfall_777]

Ooh he's done you again Steve! He's done you again!

[@rex8951]

Can't believe these are nearly twenty years old!!!

[@bartman1067]

Ricky definitely knew what Karl meant about Steve being 26 LOL

[@Scallion_D]

Yep!

[@tottenham2294]

I must be stupid can you explain please

[@bartman1067]

@@tottenham2294 are you a coupla benders

[@chester6514]

@@tottenham2294 What Karl basically meant was ‘If Steve just had a birthday, he must be 28. Because if he just turned 27, then he would’ve been 26 last week and he looks too old to have just been 26.’ Ricky knew he meant that and was picking him up on the roundabout way he said it. There’s also the possibility that Ricky genuinely didn’t know what he said because he just wasn’t listening, which happens a fair bit.

[@kygodragon4782]

​@@chester6514makes no sense at all.

[@RobLate]

Ricky: "Coldplay...I don't think they'll be in the same position next year" XD

[@bensmith5288]

And now they are a laughing stock who no-one takes seriously . Funny how right they were

[@RobLate]

@@bensmith5288 Whether or not you think they're a laughing stock, they're one of the highest grossing bands on earth with a 20 year career so... they weren't really that right.

[@jacksimmons4021]

When was the last time Coldplay made a year-end best album list?

[@RobLate]

@@jacksimmons4021 Invalid question. Point is, Ricky said they wouldn't be around after their first album, which was very wrong. End of.

[@jacksimmons4021]

Rob Late no. he didn’t. he said new bands have an inflated sense of importance because of their being in the public consciousness and so they end up in best of year lists rivalling seminal albums by older bands

[@Elitenuke]

How close is that name to Dwight schute? Hmmmm the American office references before they even happened? 😂😂

[@alandodd3184]

And we go again. 20 years old now these. I've been listening on loop since 2008

[@shecklesmack9563]

Yeah, about 2008 for me as well. I always listen on loop until I've listened so much I know what's coming next, then I take a break until I forget everything and have done that several times over the years.

[@kygodragon4782]

​@@shecklesmack9563What you said makes no sense. How can you know what's coming next if you have took a break and forgot...

[@joaquimmarques4026]

The Moby bit was a gem.

[@j.peterse8106]

when they talked about horizontal stripes on clothing it reminded me of an outtake of Extras where Ricky was wearing a hideous striped T-shirt that showed off his man boobs and said "... lots of people can't get away with horizontal stripes" XD

[@Delios90]

From Dwight Schultz to Dwight Schrute, that's so quick

[@richwatson1985]

He use to go riverside in Bognor. That place is my childhood. I use to go lol all through the summer!

[@karldilkington8802]

Same, typical English family caravan holiday 😂

[@samdarlow784]

My favourite episode

[@Jack-kz9ny]

Excellent

[@crispycronch]

Rockbusters for artist in this episode: Breaking open a spider's dwelling an' that. J. W.

[@specialatk880]

Jimmy Webb

[@crispycronch]

Congratulations +SWG 92! You win some tat! :D

[@teocantsleep4611]

Cake still sounds fresh in 2020.

[@rusheilfrancis264]

14:40 ironic, because thats exactly what they end up doing in every episode later.

[@bruhnorton8306]

This is cool seeing them realize they had the best thing in front of them the whole time..... Karl

[@louierios22]

this is such a good ep loool

[@masonseymour2455]

“Never forget, son”

[@theouter_banks7260]

"She loves coffee Steve"

[@williamsmith666]

"That's real gold! It's an investment! Look at the SHINE ON THAT!"

[@wizardmeats]

​@@williamsmith666 look at the gleam!

[@jimmiadja]

Get the feeling karl really doesn't like Steve at this point.

[@aidanfoley1257]

24th November 2001, mad. 20 years ago man wow

[@a_b897]

6:32 first time Steve calls something ‘arbitrary”

[@HopeVJustice]

"Do you think I should have got it engraved.. ?" :o

[@soniczest1]

6:31 - is there an episode where Stephen Merchant doesn't use the word arbitrary?

[@capnhawkins]

Or "interminable" or "man alive"

[@okaycomp]

32:16 idk why but that always makes me laugh

[@GhettoMonk108]

First 4 mins,, I'm dying. 😂

[@richweindel]

US here...had to google the Davros reference. Ha ha ha

[@karldilkington8802]

Is that from doctor who?

[@reecegazzelli-cornwall]

I would kill to hear the story about Steve’s dads shed

[@TLHS12505]

I will always be resentful to Ricky for bringing it up and cursing me and others to forever wonder what that story was 😂😂😂

[@lilme7052]

google it . He does tell it somewhere​@@TLHS12505

[@alexenglush7027]

5:15 Oh smerch cmon we needed the arbitrary shed anecdote

[@alandodd3184]

back around again.

[@olivermoore4898]

Karl looks like moby hahaha sick

[@99kellas]

dwight schulze, inspiratation for name of US office character?

[@caskruse7377]

callum kellas wo, schulze also plays a crazy person

[@ineffablemars]

Is it shulze or Schultz? Seems like it would be the latter.

[@RighteousBrother]

@@ineffablemars it's the latter!

[@hankochai]

I still want to hear the story about the shed.

[@lilme7052]

its in the comments somewhere. sorry that's not helpful

[@HamptonFarly]

Where they worry if it’s boring because it feels they are alone

[@sophiebophiex]

THIS IS MY SECOND TIME GETTING WEEZER'ED IN TWO FUCKING EPISODES.

[@shnoogums1]

At least you didn’t have to listen to the whole thing. Just the ending

[@Jack-xy3pm]

he's done ya

[@ieuanmartin7845]

Steve “arbitrary” merchant Steve “cooky and eclectic” merchant Steve “man alive” merchant Steve “Karl were you dropped on your head as a baby, that would explain a lot” merchant Steve “I hate lord of the rings and homeless people” merchant Steve “working class scum smell of chip fat” merchant Any others? (I love Steve btw)

[@lukegill5558]

So want to know what Steve’s ‘shed story’ is!

[@PersonalAccountIndeed]

35:22 what's the song that briefly starts here? (not 4hero by les fleurs but the one beforehand)

[@jobandey]

Island in the Sun by Weezer 🎉

[@user-qh5ex5tl1g]

5:17 we were robbed of another brilliant Smerch anecdote

[@rchaffer]

Dwight Schultz - inspiration for the name Dwight Shrute?

[@Noahhh-fe7ne]

Cmonnn Morning Glory

[@Tanx913]

"Salem"

[@studkickass513]

If anyone knows if Steve ever tells the story of his dad and the shed, please point me to it.

[@CORNISHDUDE]

why are you asking for that rather than reading all the comments to see if someone already has? (clue - they have, lol)

[@scottyg3406]

Play a record.

[@kygodragon4782]

​@@scottyg3406Na I'll just go onto Apple Music.

[@mav3783]

Did anyone ever find out about Steves dad and the shed Ricky mentions @ 5:05

[@basil30]

Read previous comments

[@a_b897]

1:15 the first time Ricky says he doesnt know what Karl meant!

[@Driftking859]

I must have heard that conversation about how Karl mistakes Steve's age and to this day I genuinely have no idea what Karl's point is

[@Scallion_D]

His point is that means Steve was 26 last week which he can't believe because from his POV he didn't look 26 at all but much older.

[@kygodragon4782]

​@@Scallion_DIncorrect, his point was that Steve looked older than 27 but it was his 27th bday today so he must have been 28 but he is 26. Not hard to understand.

[@Scallion_D]

@@kygodragon4782 Nope. Listen to it properly.

[@kygodragon4782]

@@Scallion_D Don't tell me what to do.

[@liamnevilleviolist1809]

29:18 sounds really odd, like there are 4 people in the room... what happened there?

[@fayylmao]

2:12 sort of a... fashion... sort of single

[@benholt2783]

I Wanna Know About “The Shed”

[@QueeferSutherland1]

Scroll up

[@FZmustacheFZ]

Anyone know what the song is at 35:22?

[@tredeuce]

FZmustacheFZ Island In The Sun by Weezer.

[@kygodragon4782]

Darude - Sandstorm

[@stonesoverbones2709]

17:00 Salem lol

[@martytheno1bauer]

After all these years I still don't know the story about the shed

[@iiiaiiin]

were there shows before this series? They seem to have been together for a while, but these are the first few, or have I missed some.

[@ManMoth]

+Eearn Yeah, they started the show a couple of months before this but unfortunately, those shows are missing. There's also Series 0 (check description for a link to it) which is Ricky and Steve's first show.