Steve vs Karl - The Insults

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A compilation of the funniest arguments between Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington from the XFM radio shows and the award winning podcasts
The Ricky Gervais Show 2001 - 2012

[@Ogaitnas900]

Karl suddenly becomes so smart when insulting Steve its amazing, the way he does it is genius hahah

[@benbob9167]

thats because its scripted

[@kh2freek]

It's not scripted, Karl is smart in some ways while dumb in others.

[@kentonroyal4957]

@@benbob9167 You really think that all the XFM shows were scripted?

[@benbob9167]

@@kentonroyal4957 No I dont think so but i do think some times karl kn ows what makes ricky laughs and does it but makes it look like he was saying it innocently and without intent.

[@sully5301]

@@benbob9167 thats kinda his whole bit.... he acts dumb so the others can play off it. its for comedy

[@angusthompson1144]

"I''m not having a go Steve...." - Karl immediately prior to having a go

[@rakadoni8403]

What are you holding ? :P

[@Sexyweirdo96]

"NOW I'm having a go" 😂

[@Lamedvavnik]

Karl is steves kryptonite

[@Bulltardwin]

+Matt Russell Ricky's head squozing is Karl's kryptonite

[@thehammurabichode7994]

sechsunddreißig Karl is a demigod

[@martinpitt8976]

6079SW having head squoze

[@Steven_McCrae]

Squozage

[@dudsteppa]

The squozen one

[@bearwolfable]

I love ricky in the background just laughing

[@miguelsilva9118]

Laughing then saying "play a record" :D

[@een4964]

He is such a shit stirrer.

[@D00NBU66Y]

Literally me and my 2 best friends I relate so much to Ricky on these bickering battles

[@Danny1143]

That voice when Karl says "the only reason you don't go on holiday is cause you have to spend money" 😂😂 and when Ricky goes "OHH AND HE'S COME STRAIGHT BACK" hahaa 😂😜

[@RhapsodyOfHammerfall]

Danny1143 Karl´s very pleased with himself after he said it I´m sure. :D

[@happysquidNET]

Danny1143 I think that's the 'sassiest' I've ever heard Karl.

[@THEGREATMAX]

+happysquidNET Karl can be hard as fuck lol He can somehow say the exact words to cut like a knife lol

[@happysquidNET]

THEGREATMAX Apparently one time he was so blunt with Claire Sturgess (she would fill in for him when he called in sick during the XFM days) that he made her cry and run out of the room. Karl don't give no shits.

[@THEGREATMAX]

happysquidNET Things like that really make me think Karl has aspergers. He can tell when someone is attacking him, but he can't gauge how much damage they'll actually do, so he goes straight for the throat lol

[@VillaBoys123]

It amuses me greatly that for all of Steve's greater intelligence, he can never come up with any decent comebacks.

[@blackie75]

coz he's a fuckin pussy

[@Frelismatic]

Steve has some great comebacks, you just need to listen to more recordings.

[@nickprezzo]

He does. Just not in this video

[@blackie75]

***** no he doesn't, i've seen everything they've ever made and listened to all the podcasts and xfm episodes, his combacks have always been shite. he's not a confrontational, shit stirring type of guy he just acts that way when he's around ricky

[@nickprezzo]

You're not remembering correctly then because I've been watching through the old XFM shows and he does comeback...

[@gromitpesley]

effing and jeffing

[@MrSkinnyWhale]

An' that

[@Hellndegenerates]

@@MrSkinnyWhale Mmmm!

[@devincoleman2870]

By far my favorite thing from his spats with Steve

[@timwideman8824]

“All this effin and jeffin. What is this-channel 4?” -Toast of London

[@robwright1286]

Don't forget Effing and Jeffing part 2.

[@chriskelly9361]

At least once a year I go back to 2002 and listen to the entire podcast. It's just gold, nonstop.

[@folksurvival]

The podcasts began in 2005.

[@solvapydoom8077]

Xfm.

[@jakearmstrong3528]

Love how ricky just plays both sides

[@Meloncholyflower]

That’s what she said

[@Swilson361]

I feel like ricky and steve can dish it out but can't handle it when it happens to them. they take the piss out of karl non stop and he takes it without really bothering. as soon as he starts on ricky or steve they get kind of pissy. still hilarious though.

[@malphunk6426]

+Scott Wilson Because Karl doesn't know how to insult people playfully. He makes it really awkward and tense.

[@smidget5843]

+Mal Phunk part of his charm

[@spearofconquest]

In my group of friends we have someone like that who we rip on but once in a while he'll respond with something like "yeah but your girlfriend got ran through when she was 17". That's one if the nicer things he said lol. He comes off the same way as karl, dry and kinda tense.

[@Soda-bd6yf]

+Scott Wilson Seems like they really can't handle any criticism Karl throws at them.

[@acmoneballs422]

+Scott Wilson I dont think Steve gets bothered at all, aside from the fact that Gervais is WAY more of a bother to Karl but Karl picks on Steve more. Gervais is the reason the "looks" topic gets brought up almost every time. It's all part of their shtick. I think, very early on they hit something gold with the 3 personalities clashing and they were smart enough to formulate it, while leaving Karl in the dark most of the time. I'm sure there were off-air discussions about what can and can't be said but when Ricky brings up a certain topic and leads Karl into talking about Steve, Ricky and Steve see it coming and have fun with it but Karl is just kind of oblivious to the setup, which produces comedic gold responses. Listen to when Karl first starts responding, they're much more concerned about not insulting him..after a few episodes they get comfortable. Any reaction can't be taken seriously from Gervais or Merchant because they are kind of "in on the joke". The joke being Karl. Talking to him, winding him up, asking him questions, etc..

[@ragged218]

Ricky's quiet laughing in the background in the first segment makes it so much funnier

[@rainman11985]

I had to look up who 'Muttley' was, perfect reference...

[@LittleLiamful]

''what d'you mean 'lanky co-writer'?'' ''well a don't 'av to say anymore''

[@grantalexander9529]

"Where'd you take her?" "A chippy....a good quality one"

[@moo5360]

'People with glasses look odd without them on.' LOL I know exactly what Karl means. When you see someone you've only known with glasses take them off your not used to it. The same if someone shaves a beard off.

[@leoncrazyman07]

True when I take my glasses off I get different reactions, not "weird" most people say "better looking" which annoys me as I need my glasses to see so I have to look not as nice looking as I could (not that i'm good looking anyway) to be able to see properly, but Karl wasn't insulting Steve, the dead arm which sounded painful was uncalled for.

[@leoncrazyman07]

***** No man mine are bad, can't see anything in front of me without them! EVERYTHING is blurry, but it doesn't matter anymore. People have taken an interest anyways.

[@moo5360]

# sexysenorita Thanks for the near 2 year response.

[@vinny5638]

heres a four year response, youre literally just saying people who change their appearance look like they've changed their appearance. i feel like you and karl would get along great :)

[@toffeeapple4145]

Small eyes. But Steve's pop out also

[@sahibmeah8579]

Karl; "Steve you're a bit tight" Steve; "What, financially you mean?"

[@toffeeapple4145]

He's dissing himself

[@J.L.Media.]

I love this confrontations. When it's Karl vs Steve, Karl always wins. Plus Ricky shit stirring is gold every time.

[@leersay]

I love the dynamic of the trio, it works well and clearly invokes a response in the audience. ricky is quick witted and not afraid to pull punches with jokes, stephen is a fantastic writer and his demeanour is truly unique to him and karl is an original thinker with patience and a less-than-ideal vocabulary. all are bastards all are funny

[@iteration2]

Steve gets flabbergasted because he's the one who's (relatively) nice to Karl. He humors him much more than Ricky, and he's the one that Karl usually digs on. However, I always get the feeling that Steve's outrage is always somewhat self-mocking and in good humor. If anything, it usually seems like Ricky is the one trying to interrupt Karl to make fun of him, and Steve frequently gets Ricky to shut up so Karl can continue.

[@piffflair2624]

You’re spot on, Smerch takes it all in good jest.

[@hannibalburgers477]

How much Steve paid to you. Then again, he is not sort of person who would spend money so he probably used a hook or favour

[@viborgguys1]

Its all just banter

[@gavinxxnirxx]

You're right Steve does a good job of reigning Ricky in to get the balance of Ricky berating Karl to Karl sharing his thoughts right

[@MovieHound17]

I giggle just as much as ricky does when I watch these or the ricky gervais show.....something is amazing about karl.

[@AKABoondock19]

+MovieHound17 rickys reactions are perfect for what he says, too....so damn funny

[@JuliusReedRPGFanboy]

"I genuinely don't remember." Bollocks.

[@SIGHBOY6]

Valentines Day: What are you happier with? The fact that no girls like you enough, or are you happy because you don't have to spend any money on a card for someone?

[@ryan-fd7oh]

"steve have you ever spalashed out on a lady"

[@allyloogs]

Play a record!

[@guscox9651]

@@allyloogs I love how ricky uses the "play a record" as the _i give up, this is too funny_

[@beetlejuice9320]

Karl ‘I’m not having a go’ pilkington

[@AuzzieArtyst]

Some people get inspirational quotes as tattoos, but I just want Ricky’s cartoon saying “play a record”. Iconic

[@ZValenT]

Shoul've included when Karl called Steve an invalid lol

[@bennytvyt]

i love how Ricky is just fanning the flames lmaooo. Silently orchestrating

[@sansgamingwastaken]

I think people forget that a good chunk of Steve's humor is self deprecation.

[@weeger3930]

He’s self-deprecating when he jokes with Karl because he’s desperate to cover up the fact all of Karl’s insults really hurt him

[@noahmay7708]

@@weeger3930 weird take but ok

[@NateApplicable]

@@weeger3930 His one and only scene in The Office was David Brent insulting his appearance, a scene which Ricky and Stephen would have written together. Steve knows he looks weird and uses it comedically

[@weeger3930]

@@noahmay7708 noah be like "leave steve alone 😭😭😭"

[@weeger3930]

@@NateApplicable there's quite a big difference between something written for a show and something told to you authentically by a terminally honest person (Karl).

[@absurdrhino]

**looks at the comment section** PLAY A RECORD!

[@ScottTetleyy]

I wonder how many hours ive listened or watched these 3's work over the past 8 or so years, it must be about 1/3rd of my time lol

[@redarmy123100]

Amazed how thick most people seem to be about these 3 and how much they miss the point. Steve and Ricky act the way they do as that is how to get the best from Karls personality. If Steve acts "offended", it is because he knows it provokes reactions from the other 2 that improve the show. IF you listen to all the XFM shows you realise Steve is sometimes the funniest and has the best anecdotes of them all.

[@DWOY]

"lanky co-writer" hahaha Karl!

[@TheFrozenSharingan1]

Steve is like the kid in school who thinks he is slgihtly better than anyone else because he got an A in Double-Award science GCSE .

[@SnoreProtection]

Yeah except he got 3 As at A level and went to a top university, worked for the BBC worldservice and co-wrote one of the best sitcoms in recent times.

[@TheFrozenSharingan1]

Simmer down Hazel

[@SnoreProtection]

Dont get lary you jonny hat wearing scruffian.

[@TheFrozenSharingan1]

Hazel ive been through this before with your boy Cloud Strife, he talked too much I comtemplated ended my life, so lets keep things nice and simple like that hero over there from the Atari game 'Adventure' (He's literally just a yellow square!)

[@willruth2465]

Lewis Jones I got an A* in double science

[@marcelltoing8363]

effin and jeffin

[@MihkelMark]

n that

[@sickistartform1]

THE best put-down was : " Steve, you don't go home much, so, in the corner of your eye, did you notice your parents double-taking a look at you ? " HAHAHAHA !!! Brilliance ...

[@guscox9651]

Eyes that pop out of their head.... Steve...

[@MotherGrits]

"i don't want people to know how generous i am" - karl, the most brilliant of all three.

[@TNJX]

Why do people think Steve is getting seriously upset? I honestly can't hear any annoyance at all. Maybe because I know them well enough to know when he's acting affronted for comic effect.

[@garytracy5054]

Your a veryperson... I LOVE Karl.... and Ricki....and Steve is ok..kinda a tagg along but ya hes ok.... I think he owes alot to Ricki tho... I may be wrong.. Karl is absolutely hilarious but did he hurt his career by doing that second travel show? Havnt seen it yet but I was kinda perplexed as to why he did same idea all over again

[@tomimpala]

What about that punch at the end?

[@druidboy76]

DrTheKay Yes. If only all Americans were as good high quality people as the fucking royal family.....

[@coffee5862]

druidboy76 I think a better way of putting it is americans dont really understand british humor, most friendship groups are just taking the piss out of eachother like this. which is probably why People from other countries tend to get defensive over how ricky and steve treat karl. Its just the way people are over here

[@veggie88]

"affronted for comic effect." wow, just fucking wow...

[@StalwartSpartan]

"I was just thinking..." "If there was an infinite number of Steve's?" I peed a bit.

[@maxmichie5934]

Steve: “you don’t need another holiday” Karl: “but the only reason you don’t go on Is because you have to spend money” Game, set and match In difficult times like this, self isolating and all, coming back to listen to these sessions is so refreshing and relaxing

[@folksurvival]

Well you didn't have to isolate yourself.

[@maxmichie5934]

@@folksurvival wasn’t exactly my choice my friend

[@folksurvival]

@@maxmichie5934 it was.

[@maxmichie5934]

@@folksurvival oh yeah? You know me? You know that I went through? Don’t be ignorant

[@folksurvival]

@@maxmichie5934 I never claimed to know you or what you went through during your self-imposed isolation. You're calling others ignorant while you ignore the details of what they wrote. There's no need to lash out at others for your own choices.

[@SkandiaAUS]

I fucking love Ricky struggling to keep it together while Karl makes a point. he knows it'll be good, even if it's just the "ahhhs", " n that's" etc.

[@cruxandcarnage]

People if Steve didn't take offense there would be a boring show

[@sithius99]

This stuff is gold. I really wish Karl hadn't stopped with the Steve insults, it adds a nice balance to the three. Ricky would never get insulted because Karl needs him, like an iron lung.... but Steve insults are pure gold.

[@Moffi9000]

I love how when sometimes Ricky ripping on Karl, Karl instantly goes and insults Steve with his looks and how he will be alone forever or something, because Ricky is his "bread and butter" lol

[@oakabielb5406]

"let's see what you come up with.. at 5-to-1" always gets me

[@gregjordan38]

No matter how down I am this always makes me laugh. Fucking brilliant stuff. Three of them together in this format are ridiculous. Pity it ended

[@FrEeKCuT]

Yeah always cheers me up! Just Ricky's laugh always makes me crack a smile

[@jacquesdeburgo2878]

That thumbnail picture of steve is legit the most flattering photo I've ever seen of him

[@Jonathan-rk4uq]

Hes kinda cute ngl

[@zabaoth]

I just love those little moments when Karl destroys Steve using kid logic. Not because they're particularly hilarious, but because he pretends to be way smarter than he is and falls flat on his face.

[@paulthoresen8241]

missed the men in black one 'he could be your brother'

[@Massiveskinsfan93]

every single thing that comes out of Karl's mouth is just pure gold. Amazing :')

[@muttley9520]

8:50 Merchant plays a bit of reverse psychology trying to get Karl onside.

[@davidstanierartist]

Haha love the last bit "oh that was real! Play a record". :D

[@arthurdeneve6504]

People hate on steve and love Karl bc he's the classic underdog and Steve seems like the uptight, snobby nerd who can dish it out but can't take it. In reality, Steve's quick wit is one of the best parts of the xfm radio shows and goes perfectly well alongside Karl's strange insights. Their arguments are hilarious because Steve's (obvious) intelligence hits a stand still when up against Karl's classic insults and comebacks, however, it's nothing to be taken too seriously. Steve even takes the piss out of himself with the 'column a and column b line here'. Enjoy the arguments, don't hate on anyone in this show - they're all brilliant in their own way

[@Keeper39]

Ricky gervais the ultimate stirrer 😂😂

[@davidandrews3290]

Right, Steve. I'm not having a go, right?

[@edfromchowderheads1312]

Idk why everyone's so pissed, it's just a laugh.

[@reecyclimbs]

I'm not having a go.'

[@jd9171]

my fav one isnt on here.....its the one where Karl has watched "the worlds freaks" hes talking about a woman who can eat with her feet, He says that, he wasn't impressed, because when shes not eating.....she looks normal. He goes on to say that if steve was stood next to her in the program, he'd think he was the freak. and ricky;s laughing hysterically

[@gefaduro8038]

His brain is unbelievable...its like a child, they say hilarious stuff you'd never think of...

[@Qman125]

Whut episode was that?

[@BenjaminBattington]

I swear when you listen closely, when they start a fading into the record after that insult you can hear Steve quietly saying "I'm not in the mood for this today"

[@chaoss610]

Listening to Ricky stir that pot is honestly the best part of all this.

[@brigadierburnsauce]

hahahaha effin' & jeffin'

[@djizzah]

I cant work out how 3 people from the same little country have 3 completely different accents

[@RobertHo987]

+dji zzah Most countries have more than 3 accents

[@mrmcjeff385]

+dji zzah It's because the accents formed before modern transports did in most countries, it probably takes less time to cross america by car now than it did to go from top to bottom of england back then so accents were much more localised

[@theduke3635]

dji zzah are you American? An american who has never left America?

[@tomrowley7260]

It's due to Britain empire owning the whole world

[@whathehellasian]

America has several accents though...

[@SnoreProtection]

waaaait a minute there, why i ortaa

[@richardthelionheart8656]

A fucking chippy I'm dying

[@marioandluigii22]

I'm American and when i first started listening it was sometimes difficult to understand them but now its a lot easier, though sometimes i still have trouble.

[@T0M_X]

I would never insult karl, i feel like he would insult my entire bloodline without even trying to be mean

[@NatS3703]

The best parts of the show are when Karl goes "mm" and when he insults Steve's appearance :')

[@jacoblashway]

These guys are super awesome together but it seems Steve don't like it when the shoe is on the other foot and he's the brunt of the conversation. Get along Karl, give it to the both of them as much as you can lol

[@honeyglamourdancehug]

I've heard these a thousand times, but always watch them again, we Brits like a fight lol I love RSK :)

[@nillas88]

I'm with Karl on the glasses thing. When I'm used to someone wearing glasses, and they take them off, I think they look wierd.

[@BlueMersey96]

Ricky is just sat in the middle shit stirring 🤣

[@rlenclub]

i'm gonna start using "effin and jeffin" in my vocabulary

[@nudgexs]

amazing that most the clips in this came from one fantastic episode !!

[@Pgoddy]

That was real play a record!!!

[@sk0vern]

the transition at 2:27 made me laugh out loud at work

[@Toxic_0_]

Ricky is that friend that is always in the middle egging it on. Every time one of them starts he’s stirring the pot straight away

[@371ewen]

Steve can give, but he defiantly can't take.

[@ozricaurora6943]

371ewen Coming from a Trump supporter 😂

[@connorf4035]

And you defiantly can't spell definitely

[@Melchersson]

Thanks for those kind words! : ) You really know how to adress a person having a shitty hangover day! : )

[@harrisonkfisher563]

Karl Pilkington > Steven merchant

[@PlayrAds]

“Do I need to say anymore?”

[@damienmagaharan5825]

karlos is the boss. Steve is lightweight🚴

[@MsRandomette]

Ricky just stirs it up

[@Wilson-lo3hn]

Eyes that pop out of their head, Steve!

[@nickoakley9205]

rickys laughy at 3.47 hahaha

[@WestOutWay]

I couldn't imagine the show without the 3 of them, but if it HAD to happen and I was like a radio/tv exec who had to make the decision it would certainly be the Wurzel who gets the chop..

[@DrJones20]

..Stephen?

[@johnsof5035]

effen n geffen

[@gavinbishop3367]

Steve gives it all the time with a little giggle and gets personal about Karl's looks when Karl gives it back Steve gets snappy and pissy

[@YouFeudTV]

Steve is great. Love him

[@hardcorejoey88]

they're all mates, insults between mates is one of the best things in the world

[@briankiernan7501]

I agree with Karl on the first issue of not having enough time to edit something. Karl does get so much shit for nothing sometimes.

[@jackstevens2437]

eyes that pop out of their head…steve

[@LAAAAANNNKKK]

love how ricky is just laughing in the background all the time

[@rhysblamey4297]

Karl is one funny mfer 😂😂😂 savage roasting steve

[@Stuffthatsfunny1]

So good when their at each others throats!

[@blakkelure]

Steve is a sensitive child that is on a show to make fun of Carl.. And gets upset over nothing having spend 3 seasons making fun of someone else.

[@ethelredtheunready9503]

Lighten up.

[@SJB9-8]

Karl*

[@MrHenhen5]

blakkelure You haven't had many friends have you? If you think this is honestly bullying, then you're a fucking idiot. They are best friends, that's just how Ricky was brought up. You tease them and tease them until they "bite back" and you get a hilarious reaction from Karl.

[@oSwaps]

Henry Jackson v

[@realdude111]

Henry Jackson+ Tell yourself a lie enough times and you'll believe it.

[@RichardS2777]

Steve is the kid who hides behind the bully, laughing at his jokes.

[@itsybitsy999]

What happened? When Ricky gasped and said "that was real, play a record"?

[@darylring898]

Steve hit Karl in the arm.

[@connorross1]

10:14, the best noise made by Karl ever

[@BrightRomeo]

Ricky's laugh is the funniest thing ever, i laugh only if i hear that sound, sometimes it doesn't matter what he's laughing about..

[@haydenhoodless2055]

Ricky's joke was missed here, splashing out on ladies is fun!

[@imnotgayyy8489]

+Platfoot 😂😂😂👍

[@notagentcooper1247]

That noise Karl makes at the end

[@lucozademan999]

anyone who deosn't find steve funny, should see his satnd up dvd, its amazing, possibly better than ricky's.