D&D Stories: "I think of home"

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[@thereprehensible435]

If D&D has taught us anything, it's that fall damage and acid pits can defeat the largest of beasts and constructs.

[@JohnSmith-xm4dk]

in 5e the max fall damage can do is 20d6. Which in my option is kinda low. Seriously if my winged tiefling warlock carries an unconscious dude 2000ft in the air to interrogate him and I drop him it should do a little more damage than 70 points of damage.

[@tapiocapudding7159]

Terminal velocity

[@bigpenny8223]

John Smith that’s 120 damage that’ll kill most like spellcasters probably or just add a D6 for every 10 feet

[@PilliamWilliam]

@@bigpenny8223 120 is if every single dice was a 6. It would average to 70 with equal distribution of all numbers

[@bigpenny8223]

Callum Mc that’s still gonna kill a lot of spellcasters

[@brosephnoonan223]

Man. I remember when Ireland was completely wiped out by that giant robot from the Thor movie.

[@hahhahahahawhhaajsnshshhs3083]

Heimskr, Prophet of Talos i killed you in Skyrim so many times

[@jamescanjuggle]

Ah what, where will I plant my Guinness flavoured potatoes now?

[@hewitttribe5536]

You mean the UK?

[@Jaydee-wd7wr]

Hewitttribe, Eirland, it’s implied it’s just Ireland.

[@CleopatraKing]

@@Jaydee-wd7wr "Èire" is what Ireland was named before latins came and Latinized spellings, so yea its just Èire's(of whom is a godess if i remember correctly) land

[@samtrue3]

A wild god sounds like a God our characters made called kazoolu who could be summoned by playing a kazoo and rolling a Nat 20

[@stroof-is-tired]

I know I'm nine months late, but that is an amazing idea. Holy crap I need to incorporate something like that into my world. Thank you.

[@SLEntropy]

"AND I LOVE TO.......KAAAAAAAZOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

[@rianwalter1064]

As an Irish man I can confirm that every piece of information in this is true

[@Blueturtle1]

Extremely no doubt about it true no lies all truths I swear dude please let my family go - Me, and Irish person

[@InquisitorThomas]

Boggart was actually King of Ireland, he just had a really thick accent.

[@reighfreuden6473]

I was thinking the same thing. Everyone must be so confused

[@Merik2013]

Well, that and naming the bad guy Ozymandias. Some of us only know that name from Watchmen.

[@duckdictator6531]

Merik Lobo bruh Ozymandias is from a sonnet: And on the pedestal, these words appear: “My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”

[@elysia3294]

Inquisitor Thomas waaaait. I know you from ALL the Warhammer Content. Ave Imperator! Oh and btw Ozymandias is also another name for Pharaoh Rames II.

[@TuL2P]

GorumGamer he was real, not just from a poem

[@dragoncorn7391]

Fun fact: it took me forever and a half to realize that I could let my players make a party name

[@NoahAregood]

Speaking of constructs, in the last session I DM'd in my Homebrew World, the party stumbled upon a town where they were holding a democratic election for their President. This town claimed to be their own independent Republic and our Artificer snuck in, rolled a nat 20 on a slight of hand check, and replaced all of the ballots in the ballot box with votes for their new Warforged friend, Mark IV. He then told Mark IV that he now had free will to rule over the town, and through the power of player voting, they decided to rename him "Marx IV." I can tolerate the occasional meme in a serious campaign, but now we have a Marxist Construct in charge of his own independent town-nation-thing. #constructsarepeopletoo

[@goncalocarneiro3043]

"Beep boop, food and jobs for all."

[@hexazalea1793]

So comrades, come rally, For this is the time and place! The international ideal Unites the Warforged race "Beep boop Proletariat liberty"

[@cyborglion4179]

Beep boop we will make sure all are equal

[@aformofmatter8913]

So, now he's a social(ist) construct!

[@josephsmith8087]

Noah Aregood beep-bop, you want some food, the deathcamp for you.

[@carlpine8610]

"I am ozzymandius king of kings look upon my works ye mighty and dispair." -Percy Blyshe shelly

[@socratichero6612]

Carl Pine Ozymandias*

[@brosephnoonan223]

*Ozzy Ozbourne

[@firetarrasque4667]

See, what it meant was that all of Ozymandias's works had disappeared. Because everything is forgoten. And

[@CleopatraKing]

þe*

[@purplecc4109]

D and D sounds so much fun if you get a good dm

[@aricinchad5412]

Purple Lamo it really is awesome with a good dm, but the DMs are the key hole and the players are the key, if the players are uninterested you get really in creative and lazy gameplay

[@snowman9631]

It really can be, you should try it. In my world, I have a beholder (a hyper intelligent, very deadly, paranoid floating eyeball of magic) who is an information broker, (he has learned to slightly control his paranoia enough to the point he can meaningfully communicate with other creatures) he uses his vast intellect and magic to acquired knowledge about the world. And the party will have bargain with him in our next session because he is the only creature old enough who can tell them about the 1000 year old lich they are trying to defeat, and I can't wait to see how it goes.

[@dragonjo7550]

If you have other players willing to go with your silly schemes you can have fun anyways. I once made a gaurd go to bed by stacking with another player, using a spell to disguise myself as the top half, and he failed at using his disguise kit to be the bottom half. So a super convincing copy of some really tough gaurd walks out... Until the gaurds looked down and saw a halfling holding up the top half with pants painted on his face. then the halfling fell of the bridge, making a gaurd fall. I grabbed the railing, then jump stabbed the gaurd, finishing him, then picked up the halfling. The remaining gaurd went back to bed. To much shtuff happened and he was tired

[@snowman9631]

DragonJo haha, to tired to deal with this shit XD

[@owlbeardev4388]

I met a traveller from an antique land, Who said-“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand.....

[@Wolfire4]

hella late but love the ozymandias

[@kev_whatev]

Would’ve been neat to have him go “home” back when it was his home, and start a time travel arc

[@morphadomus2385]

As a random Story, This happened last week and is(so far) the best thing I have done in dnd, and I've just started playing this game a few weeks ago(fourth level human rogue, woo, 5e btw.) So we were in a town that was called phanolin, which was a nice town in all retrospect compared to where we were before. The other rogue in the party found out about a corrupt necromancer family in the town and their manor just so happened to be the most obvious thing in the fucking town, so we snuck into it, using up spells we didn't even need to because the manor was empty and kinda boring, save for one gem my character found when me and the gnome bard snuck up into the upper floors. Turned out the stone was a stone that stole people, not their souls, but the entire person, and then I kinda just talked with the bard about letting them go and just decided against it. So we snuck down a large staircase that eventually lead into ooze that drained you of your sanity slowly, and may I note my character was the only one in the party who could walk through it without being fully submered(We had a halfing, dwarf, and gnome, who we affectionationally called the "Small bois." So because it was so deep, the gnome that was with me had to ride on my shoulders, which was just hilarious to everyone. The dwarf warlock in our party got boots earlier in the campaign that let him jump super high(Lemme just say this entire manor was made of marble and was rather austiantacious to the Unth degree) ontop of the building, found a hatch, and instead of trying to open the hatch like a normal person, he ripped the whole goddamn hatch off and is now using a marble hatch as a permanent shield...I'm not even joking. SO later on the other rogue and warlock go down to the staircase, and the dwarf gets the idea of pushing the goo out of the way with the shield, SO HE STARTS BARRELING FORWARD AT HIGH SPEEDS, the other rogue barely keeping up with him. Soon as the dwarf finds out what the goo does, he attempts to intimidate the insanity.Natural.fucking.20. He just scared off the effects of a purely magical thing with a few angry words. So we eventually get to a large antechamber filled with 30 or so guys in white robes praying to some priest who was chanting some mystical necrostuff. While my character and the bard attempt to come up with a plan(Well I try, he just wants to leave) Our rogue, completely out of the blue goes "I sneak up and stab the priest." We were just all flabbergasted as all hell just broke loose, the priest instantly falling dead and the zombies rising up to attack the other two family members, one of them grabbing at an amulet that breaks and causes the guy to explode into many giblets, while the other one rolls another fucking 20, so he absorbs all the souls and becomes some super necromancer. My rogue(Who was also an arcane trickster) Throws out a critical burning hands that incinerates many of the zombies, including the guy itself, dealing 36 or something damage to him. He was fine. Rogue warlock and bard throw their stuff, brings the total damage up to like 44 or something. Still fine. So I just get the dumbest idea i've had in a while and attempt to steal all the souls of the necromancer into the gem I had picked up earlier, and I shit you not...I rolled the exact number I needed to not explode in a gorey mess. So what happened next is that the gem broke, and all the people inside of it bursted out into hundreds of souls, and seeing how the necromancer was evil, WENT INTO THE PARTY INSTEAD, WHICH GAVE US THE POWER OF NINTH LEVEL MAGES. I healed the entire party up to full health, the warlock used finger of death to destroy the necromancers body itself, but he still kept coming at us as a super vengeful spirit, but the rogue was having NONE of it. Using a dagger he stole from the priest earlier, he conjured up a super magical crossbow and fired the dagger at the spirit, which not only destroyed him, it erased his very existance from the world. And after that we just stopped after I used the remaining power to destroy all necrotic energy in the entire place, and freed the souls. May I note, we did all this at level 3. The campaign is still going on, and that was just a freaking side plot we found while we were searching for what we thought was the main story plot. This is the first campaign I have ever done and I don't think I can do anything to top what just happened there.

[@seant1326]

*_I C A N ' T F A R T I N G B R E A T H E ! ! !_*

[@matthewturner5178]

Lesson of the day: Never get homesick in d&d, you'll either die or waste the DM's valuable resources

[@JScottGaribay]

This is a really genuine, personal video that honors all that TRPGs are meant to be. Thank you.

[@TildaM1994]

Man i wish i could play in one of your campaigns, they sound fun, ridiculous and absolutely amazing. So far all i’ve had done of note is a tiefling cleric that has a barbarian best friend that keeps accidentally killing her and a fire genasi cleric that is a SUUUUUPER fangirl of sir Robert of Kathryn, she even tried to steal a possessed doll because the rogue told her it was from a rare Robert of Kathryn set XD

[@DMKleinArts]

I'mNotCrazy JustALittleWeird they'll get there!

[@raymondgilbert7887]

I am new to the channel, but I can tell you thanks Jacob’s antics made me subscribe, like, and turn on notifications in a heart beat. I’ve been playing for a year now and I’ve been on the hunt for a channel like this since. About D*** time I found it.

[@raymondgilbert7887]

I wrote an overly serious and long comment, sorry >~

[@notmyrealname4363]

Clicking his heels together saying "there's no place like home" :) *--inhuman screeching roars of an entire island of death training their sights solely on him*

[@magiv4205]

In the second session me and my friends ever played, our humble party of 3 lvl three misfits had just met a smuggler ring dealing with rare magical items, most of whom were actually pretty chill guys. Their headquarters were in the mountains next to an ominous ruin, which changed its layout every night and was never the same, and they excavated items out of the ruin because strangely, not only the layout, but also the content changed every night. A true gold mine. So naturally, we went there to find out the source of the change and to maybe find treasure. Came into a room with a riddle that took us faaaar too long to solve and long story short, my idiot party members decided it would be a good idea to start to smash the "mirror" behind which we saw a mage taunting us the entire time. I rolled an investigation check just in time to say "Guys stop, this is a terrible ide-" before the mirror broke and out strolled a high level fucking Lich. The only reason he didn't obliterate our entire party right there is because he first spent time enjoying his freedom while we bolted for the door. Well, most of us. Despite rolling great all night, suddenly the dice gods had abandoned me and I couldn't for the life of me get to the fucking door as gravity suddenly started pulling everyone towards the thing and the room became pitch black. Topping off my terrible luck with a natural 1, the Lich speared me with a thousand spears of darkness and I was instantly dead. Preparing to say goodbye to my character, I met a ghost of someone I knew who was probably a reaper or something in disguise, and suddenly woke up in front of the temple, inexplicably alive, but every inch of my body riddled with the scars of holes where the blades had pierced me, so now I look like a piece of swiss cheese. The ground started rumbling, we bolted for HQ and a few hours later a series of very localized earthquakes shook the countryside, starting from the ruin then spreading out, and a giant beam of light erupted into the air about a day long foot journey south of us. A group of smugglers returned to the ruin to find it utterly obliterated, so there goes their income, and I think we just stumbled upon a major plot hook far earlier than the DM intended...

[@ted-3dotmov]

Hey I seriously love your videos so much! Can you do a "how to play a sorcerer"? I'm working on making one right now who will be the healer but I'm okay with that and I want to be sure I'm doing it right. He went around learning a bunch of magic to save his people but I don't know if that'd be sorcerer or wizard. Whichever it'd be, it would be awesome if you could make a "How to" for it.

[@alohadoodlez]

Trey Vidmn that would depend. If they learn through books, wizard. If it's natural talent, sorcerer. If they made a pact with a diety (and are probably evil), warlock. 🙂

[@fleic2262]

I thought this was gonna be an heartwarming story with "I think of home" as a bittersweet quote but no titan lazers

[@ancientreddragon5617]

When he said Azymondias all I thought of was the adorable baby Storm Dragon from The Dragon Prince lmao 😂😂

[@lethaldrew5804]

did anyone else just keep rewinding to the point where he screams NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@crystalthunderheart8895]

A wild god is just the anime noragomi in a nutshell. Nice, we don't see this enough

[@mrgrimgate3646]

I listen to these stories and wish I had a group again.

[@OniNoSweeney]

I had a group of players who, unbeknownst to them, where flying a similar type of airship and were roughly the same number of people and races of the endgame npc villain crew, and when off plot for no discernable reason directly into the ambush 2 combined kingdoms had for the npc's. They went to what they thought was an out if the way location and were jumped by 2 full armies.... losing horribly and being arrested for the atrocities of the npc's they were hunting down. Your tale reminded me of this story as party accidentally arrives at end game content and overwhelming odds. Good times!

[@randomlygeneratedname]

This sounds like that one game I hand an asimar paladin. Who wasn't aware he was an asimar had to collect stuff from the fire plain and held the fire elementals back while the party left, then banished my character and ended up on Mt celestia

[@CLBPRKNS]

This Was The Funniest Story I've Heard!

[@Pugiron]

Such a creative world...

[@johnnii]

A giant construct called a reaper with a compulsion to destroy the world, sounds familiar...

[@Altoriss]

Famous last words "who needs an army"

[@thecuteandwonderfulbrae7500]

I thought the tomato was wolverine

[@mrowoofers101]

This all reminds me of Orks from 40k. Just believe it and it will work. I like it

[@killerspawn6299]

That shirt really brings out the redness in your... face. Beautiful, simply marvelous!

[@SirSolomonAriel]

" A wild god is a god that only exists because so many people believed in it that it became a god." so Warhammer gods then, like Sigmar and the Ruinous pow- WE GOT A HERATIC BOYS, PURGE HIM IN SIGMAR"S NAME!!!

[@chriscliff583]

“Who needs an army” Famous last words

[@thedukeofdank4109]

Jakobthany Redtano here, KZbin's busiest D&D nerd here.

[@Vermbraunt]

Honestly your setting sounds sick

[@benhramiak8781]

I had my first d&d session on Tuesday. Tried to shake the baddies hand and ghe just ran out of the room. Ended up having the most health after a fight, so the party decided that I should be the meat shield of the group. Good times. Also ended up spamming eldritch blast in combat to mixed results.

[@liquidtea9347]

Super weird. I've recently started watching these guys and I start this video off and they introduce themselves as Jacob and Colton (sorry if I spell the names wrong) but my name is Colton and my brother is named Jacob. Friggin sweet.

[@Spinwizard196]

I know right?

[@danielcompton9318]

A construct created to destroy the world, with a fancy name, called a “Reaper”? Jacob, were you playing Mass Effect when you made Ozymandias?

[@ChartreuseDan]

Just realised you've got the limited edition Vollo's guide; my white whale. The envy I feel right now is vast

[@magicalawnmower4764]

I look like a tomato

[@silvercandra4275]

Wild gods? Our's are called the gods of the pantheon of neve tahw The highest ranking god in the entire pantheon is this random hobo named Howard... Everyone loves Howard, but nobody knows why

[@JoshSweetvale]

That's why you don't go to the final boss zone halfway through.

[@leonverris9991]

4:21 RELIZATION!😂😂😂

[@greatsummonerheronnet7192]

Wow there must be a lot of kua-toa in the 4th dimension.

[@thegermanweeaboo1727]

in the campaign im in the GM doesnt write down the story because he remembers it but my friend scott makes characters that are op and completely wreck the story so the gm has to change shit around to make everything work

[@rainingcomplete3018]

The German Weeaboo Maybe you should tell Scott to stop.

[@AnOddHermit]

i was a fighter/necromancer dwarf and i stole and used a wish granting wand to give me the universe's most powerful Necronomicon.. AND OOOHH BOY DID I FUCK UP see, i should have worded the wish better. and i should have said "give me the universe's most powerful Necronomicon under my control with no strings attached" but i didn't. and accidentally switched my Alignment from Chaotic neutral to Chaotic E V I L.... And summoned Cthulhu alongside the book.

[@GuyNamedGray]

Thankfully my party has someone watching over us too. And he happens to look and sound exactly like Elvis Presley.

[@MerryMaddMen]

4:21 to 4:24 THAT YELL THOUGH!!!!!!

[@droman608]

Save the Island as an EPIC quest (lv20+)!

[@williamsexton1389]

I'd kinda like a video explaining Jace the bard who Jacob mentioned and the other picture of the character in some of the past videos

[@Sygorian]

If you got your Wild God inspiration from Berserk, I now have even more mad respect. Great story btw xD

[@alexanderchippel]

Nice Watchmen reference.

[@skylergunn2794]

I'm curious about that giant titan, sounds interesting.

[@genericprofile2381]

Your jacket looks like the bathrobe i'm wearing right now

[@the.wastrel]

As in the poem ozzymandius

[@covert9528]

There's two of them!

[@blockprime3006]

Ozymondias and Iereland sounds like ozymandias and irland

[@darbisd]

Who needs an army?!

[@histori6259]

Colton looks so uncomfortable.

[@topshaggeralfieg9130]

Why does the guy on the left kinda remind me of private Pyle from full metal jacket

[@eamonntee]

You guys need to play a powered by the apocalypse game! They are full of those kind of moments the systems encourages stuff like that to happen all the time!

[@MrWeedy-hh4mg]

He looks nervous

[@Flopmind]

Is everything okay with you guys in this video? It seems a bit less relaxed than your other story videos?

[@avago9141]

nice warhammer 40 k influences with the wild gods

[@clericofchaos1]

So, you called the pc's "immortals". why? if they have any form of immortality then why not just let the guy take on the titan?

[@dgee92]

I'd assume since he had already died once that immortal =/= invincible.

[@clericofchaos1]

i agree but he did come back. so again, i don't see the problem.

[@ceering99]

Immortal and invincible are not the same thing. Immortal means that you do not age or you age slow enough that your lifespan is beyond normal comprehension. Invincibility is the inability to die.

[@clericofchaos1]

I never claimed he was invincible. they said in the video he was resurrected and immortal does, in fact, mean "exempt from death". I assume they are revived by the gods after death (possibly quite some time after death).

[@Tigercup9]

Alcachaz well typically, invincibility is the inability to be harmed, usually still allowing you to die of age. Cleric of Chaos is correct in that immortality does mean inability to die _at all,_ however there are different versions of immortality, that being the reason for this discussion. Most tales of immortality say you can never die of old age, and still be killed by other means, although some prevent you from dying at all, ever.

[@emdub9679]

Did you ever defeat Ozymandias? Or is it an ongoing story?

[@mimusharlekin9104]

Haha ha ha *eyebrow, eyebrow*

[@pickling2787]

So are most wild gods of kuo toa?

[@noahvian]

I feel like your audio was a little off on this video. I normally watch on my phone when i should be working and can hear the video fine, but i had trouble hearing this one at max volume. Anyway i love y'alls content. Informative and funny, keep it up

[@Lunarity22]

That is amazing!!

[@AceTaxiaGaming]

WATCHMEN!!!!!!!!!

[@BaartMaan1]

So the 4th demension is a mix from cats and nightmare on elm street?

[@forestwizard3663]

So Bogar was the king of Ireland?

[@Lua-nq7fw]

TOMATO!!!!

[@PogMcDog]

4:55, It's excellent that you show enthusiasm but it's really hard to relate with the tale when it's just mentioning small key plot points and events in rapid fire succession and then switching the pace. I didn't enjoy it personally, but seems like others did. ^^

[@gremlinwc8996]

Ire-land. Ireland huh?

[@aquawoelfly]

Ozzy-mondius...... darnit spencer why did you have to go and create a dimensional rift? (See 2018/19 stories released around christmas/new years) Wild god= flying spagetti mosnter. Gotit.

[@patricktaylor9142]

what is that book on the desk right there. the one on the top

[@brunosouza3326]

Volo's guide to monsters, cool cover edition

[@Ghastly_Grinner]

Well you could have just had the thinking of "home" not work because its destroyed so he would have had to think of someplace else problem solved

[@17joren]

Mayyyybe DM shouldn’t be planning a story with the pc like that. No plan survives contact with the players!

[@levicreed1517]

i wanna join one of these games

[@wukongamatics2748]

Wait was Boggart the guy who got revived? No? Ok

[@dartdevious561]

That was a lot of buildup for a six minute video

[@keonebutcher7467]

I wanna play some dnd but my friends don’t read

[@aray8266]

WTF IS THE GUY IN THE BLUE DOING UNDER THE TABLE

[@dragonfist7656]

You mean Ireland?

[@Allbendias]

A new video Reaction; YES!

[@josephsmith8087]

So, are mud and yantazit also apart of this world?

[@brosephnoonan223]

joseph smith No, but Muthugulek the Devastator is.

[@josephsmith8087]

Heimskr, Prophet of Talos what does he do? Read 50 shades of grey to his squirrel?

[@GRAND-ol8cm]

Yo yo yo

[@thedragonflyers6184]

Could you give us the stat block for the construct?

[@tba3625]

Im sorry the island was name ireland?

[@smilingstudios6342]

Hello everyone

[@Itstimorous]

Hi dad

[@Gabriel-qh4yx]

Heheheha *HA.*

[@jonathanhamilton6190]

When’s the next how to play video

[@Nackeroo]

Hey

[@albo__7804]

Like the video if you respect women

[@jackfronz2515]

Albo _ *Wahmen

[@MarvelX42]

It would have been nice if there was no horrid music playing throughout.