Yes, Nonbinary People Can Medically Transition

[@kimm4615]

A recommendation to the other transmasc enby's out there who either don't have access to T or who would prefer a more slower, subtle transition: Try taking DHEA! It's readily available online and at pharmacies and will cause your body to produce more T by itself. (It technically helps you produce both testosterone and estrogen, so the results lean more toward androgynous features, for those who are looking for that.) I've been taking it for 3 years, starting at 25mg and gradually increasing my dose over time to 100mg per day and I've had great results. Body and (slight) facial hair growth, especially, but also more muscle gain and changes to my body shape. Not so much in terms of voice, sadly, but my voice is higher in pitch anyways so it's hard to tell. It can cause some side effects, so please do your research, but it has helped me to achieve a more androgynous look and I would recommend it for those seeking more hair growth and muscle mass. It's very slow to take effect, though. Be advised. It took years (much like puberty would) to get to the point I'm at, so it will take patience if you decide to go down this road.

[@sassylittleprophet]

I'll need to do my research obviously, but this sounds EXACTLY what I want. I didn't know this was possible! 😭😭😭

[@salvadorjester]

you gave me ''dorian electra - flamboyant'' music video vibe and I love it XD

[@gckinsey]

I love this so much, thank you!!!

[@Oujijoshi]

I just want to mention that just because binary people expect for us to conform to androgyny, doesn't mean that we still can't experience discrimination for being or wanting to be more androgynous either. Because androgyny is very subjective, which creates debates on what constitutes as "true androgyny" vs that being a social construct as well. A major problem that many nonbinary people, including myself, experience is the never ending shaming of also wanting to go "half way" too. As if more specific body modifications and other methods of expression are somehow a bad thing. They don't *actually* want androgynous people existing either, including trans androgynous people. Androgyny is threatening to them, in that the more we obscure our sex and presentation, the more confusing it is for them to force us into their suffocating boxes. I don't really get to see anyone speaking up more about this, including in the trans community where everyone is still just so utterly obsessed with binarizing us. Either as AFAB or AMAB, trans masc or trans fem, and even worse, TME or TMA. There's nothing wrong with talking about trans misogyny, but it's *still* harmful black and white thinking. Plus sex and gendered oppression as a whole is a lot more messier and complex than that. I've always hated this divide as a nonbinary person, but even then, the non stop binarizing from both cis and trans people alike has made me internalize this and inflict it onto other nonbinary people. Our dysphoria and transitions are so erased, that I've actually run into truscum nonbinary communities and seen for myself what this level of erasure could do to us. Usually nonbinary people have a truscum phase by forcing themselves to be binary trans people, but that's unfortunately not always the case... Even though I've never been a part of the truNB community, I do sincerely sympathize with their struggles and I seriously hope for the best that they leave transmedicalism behind them. Because even binary transmeds are divided on duosex and nullsex nonbinary people being in their spaces. I'm technically duosex by their definition, which is how I accidentally learned about that side of the nonbinary community. They might be a minority, but it still concerns me as both a nonbinary and altersex person myself. I don't really see anyone talk about that either, and I think it's a more insidious extension from how much our greater society and communities invalidate nonbinary people. Even though I haven't completed my transition, I'm very, very slowly becoming more comfortable with the androgynizing effects of my body. I was recently talking to another nonbinary person who altho has a different transition path than mine, there are a lot of shared similarities to our transitions too as nonbinary people. I showed her my hormone levels and reflected upon how good it felt knowing I have a balance of both estrogen and testosterone in my body. One of them is slightly above the other, but they almost match as equals. I feel ultimately happier this way, it's even why I don't use the term HRT to describe my microdosing transition because I don't want to replace anything. Even if it's not totally noticeable to other people, it's little affirmations like this that make me look forward to the rest of my transition. 💛🤍💜🖤

[@AdmiralYrrek]

I had to run off to google so many things in your post. Learned a lot more about the community I'm part of as a result. Thank you! Always love learning new words and things.

[@gckinsey]

"I just want to mention that just because binary people expect for us to conform to androgyny, doesn't mean that we still can't experience discrimination for being or wanting to be more androgynous either." >> YESSSS this is such a good point about androgyny! Even when people expect nonbinary folks to look androgynous, they treat us like crap for it too. It's a truly awful part of living in such a binary-centric society. Also, YES TO THIS: "Because androgyny is very subjective, which creates debates on what constitutes as "true androgyny" vs that being a social construct as well." There is definitely an idea of what constitutes "true" or "ideal" androgyny, and people who don't fit that aesthetic are treated even worse. One of my personal favorite ways to express my gender is by pairing a bold lip color and eyeliner with facial hair (like in this video kzbin.info/www/bejne/rJWkY5ebZ9ecY68)... But even though that's peak androgyny for me personally - I like to call it glamdrogyny - I've learned that many people consider it to be the "wrong kind" of androgyny. I can't tell you how many comments I've had to delete from people telling me that my gender expression makes the whole trans community look bad. 🙄 I know exactly what you mean about how even within trans spaces, there's this weird insistence on binarizing nonbinary people. It's like we can't simply be nonbinary - we have to have *some* connection to the binary, whether it's our assigned gender or something else, before others can make sense of us. It's beyond frustrating. (I even say this as someone who is strongly masculine... I hate how frequently my masculinity gets me lumped in with binary men, or how many people think I have a connection to the binary just because I'm masculine). I can also see how easy it would be to internalize those binarist attitudes, because they're just so pervasive. It takes a lot of work to unlearn them. I didn't realize I was nonbinary until I was almost 30, and I had to unlearn a whole lot of binary programming from my younger years before I could fully accept myself. I'm fascinated by everything you said about nonbinary transmedicalism. I've never encountered that before, so my mind is blown right now - I'm going to have to do some reading about it. (From what you've described here, it sounds like whatever I read will make me just as sad as all the binary transmedicalism I've seen 😔 but even so, I absolutely want to learn more.) I love how your medical transition has been making you more androgynous and more comfortable with yourself as a result! It's really cool that your E and T levels are so close to each other, and that the balance between them feels good. Also, this is such a cool perspective: "I feel ultimately happier this way, it's even why I don't use the term HRT to describe my microdosing transition because I don't want to replace anything." (I've also seen a rise in the use of "gender affirming hormone therapy" over "hormone replacement therapy," which I love because it feels more inclusive.) Thank you SO SO MUCH for checking out this video and leaving such an amazing comment! You've given me so many things to think about. I hope everything continues going well for you. :)

[@Oujijoshi]

@gckinsey wow thank you so much for this comment!! It's so validating hearing other nonbinary people's perspectives on this ❤️ and also validating my gender affirming hormone harmonization too!! I'm genderfluid, so my relationship with gender is very messy, so that reflects upon my transition goals too. Glamdrogyny is so cool!! God, trans exclusionists fucking suck so much ixkjxgdjsk they don't know what they're missing out on expanding on their worldview on genderfuckers like us 😭 With the nonbinary transmedicalism bit, I actually randomly encountered this from an lgbt wiki article about duosex. This was before I found out more common terms like salmacian or altersex, but was super shocked when I found out that it was coined on r/truNB gdkxkndgdkkd I even saw a CW on that wiki page warning people that this along with nullsex are heavily tied to nonbinary transmedicalism. lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Duosex I've only seen it through internalizing binary trans assimilation, but not like this. So I ended up lurking these communities on reddit at one point just to see what they're like, and it is honestly so EXTREMELY depressing. I've seen crazy infighting between binary truscum on the main subreddit supporting them and the other super enbyphobic truscum going their own way, creating their own sub that's even more a toxic exclusionist cesspool hdkkxbzgzk I think what's the most depressing thing about these communities is that most nonbinary people don't know that it's even possible to transition in these ways. And because they're so unique and undertalked about, it becomes really lonely and isolating for these people who feel like nobody understands their own dysphoria. Because there's this pervasive belief that nonbinary people don't transition or stop being nonbinary and transition closer to the gender binary, they're absolutely desperate for validation. And they're seeking this validation from the wrong people who have their own internalized transphobia they need to unpack. I really love Ashton Daniel's videos talking about the trans community's binarizing attitudes. He mentions it's mainly from younger isolated trans people, but I don't think that's always the case. Because it's not just being stuck online that does this, it bleeds in irl spaces as you mentioned too with actual doctors who medically discriminate against us. Or irl queer spaces that treat nonbinary people as women lite gdjmsnzghd There are masculine nonbinary people who've been opening up about their experiences being thrown out for not being feminine enough!! I feel like that's a whole other layer of misconceptions people need to unpack that just because there are nonbinary people who are perceived as women and experience misogyny, it doesn't mean trans mascs or butches can't either. That's not really a femme exclusive experience!! I'm so glad i could provide all this insight for you!! I relate to so much of the things you talked about in this video as I've also experienced this gatekeeping and coercion to be more binary in the medical world too. It is unfortunately something we need to advocate a lot more in terms of what we're seeking in our transitions and insist we're still nonbinary!! There's nothing wrong with going "half way", just like there's nothing wrong with going the expected direction, or choosing not to medically transition at all! It's a bodily autonomy and self determination right whatever works best!

[@Songe467]

I feel a bit stuck sometimes as genderfluid. There are days I can't stand having breasts and would love to have top surgery but then there are the days where I put on a beautiful dress on and feel on top of the world. Can't win either way.

[@gckinsey]

Yeah, being genderfluid can compound things even more. (I'm genderfluid too, but fortunately it always feels right to have a physically masculine body, no matter whether my gender is in a more masculine or genderqueer place.) For people who experience broader or more distant fluctuations in their gender, it can often feel like there are no good options. I hope that at some point you can figure out the most ideal way to affirm your gender in all its fluid glory!

[@AdmiralYrrek]

"You'll have to pick your battles." This is life. Every interaction. All the damned time. And it is a double-edged sword regardless how you pick. If I decide not to correct someone in one instance, then decide to do so in a different instance, the people around me get confused by my "inconsistent behavior." I have tried to explain to those who have brought this up about the constant calculations that go into a decision to speak up or not, the energy it takes, and how repeatedly having to do this is so very draining, but it does not seem to have clicked. Added to that, the "But why even bother correcting them? They are just trying to be polite!" arguments against self advocacy - or more cutting, the "You want me to accept you, but you won't accept me!" complaints - are additionally draining. It's like a constant fuel leak in the emotional gas tank, punctuated by massive gushes. And people can't see that.

[@gckinsey]

"This is life. Every interaction. All the damned time. And it is a double-edged sword regardless how you pick." >> YEP, the nonbinary/trans struggle in a nutshell right there T-T I've also had people get confused by my "inconsistent behavior" or try to give me (not actually helpful) advice on how to handle those moments. The only thing that is helpful is having plenty of fellow trans and nonbinary friends who deal with the same struggle so we can commiserate over it and feel less alone. But OMG is it tough when you're in those moments. (It also doesn't help that my brain likes to torment me over the battles I don't pick. So then I have to decide which is worse: the awkwardness of speaking up when I don't think it's worth it, or my brain guilt tripping me about being a pushover when I stay silent... LOL RIP) Thank you so much for watching this video and sharing one of the most relatable comments ever!

[@AdmiralYrrek]

@@gckinsey "The only thing that is helpful is having plenty of fellow trans and nonbinary friends who deal with the same struggle so we can commiserate over it and feel less alone." SO. MUCH. I am at the beginnings of that at this point with no IRL transmasc or nonbinary folk. I appreciate my transfem friends and family, and I've got some digital NB & transmasc community (of which your comments feels like a part), but I need to meet some community in the so-called meat space too. Glad my comment resonated with you. Your description of your guilt-tripping brain rehashing things after the fact is also very relatable to me. Thank you, as always, for your videos.

[@gckinsey]

​@@AdmiralYrrek I hope you get a chance to meet some transmasc & nonbinary friends in person (though I'm so happy to be part of your online transmasc/nonbinary community through these comments!) I'm pretty much in the reverse situation - most of my IRL circles lean heavily transmasc, so I'm trying to balance that out by meeting more trans women & transfem enbies in person. If only we could just merge all our people together XD But the IRL connections really do make a difference. What you've described sounds like my experience with the ace community - for the first 2-3 years after I realized I was ace, all my connections to other aces were online. Once I started making ace friends in person, I found it so much easier to embrace and be proud of my orientation. And I was surprised by how much more real the level of support felt.Then the same thing happened when I met a bunch of transmasc & nonbinary folks at my local anime conventions. I wish you all the best of luck in finding that too!

[@les5503]

I'm trans/non-binary and I'm on testosterone. I present masculine in a lot of ways in the way I dress and cut my hair. I intend to have top surgery within the next year. I have dysphoria both socially and physically, and unfortunately I have a very feminine body type and am fairly short, so to even be read as physically androgynous I have to do more than some others might. Fortunately the trans-specific healthcare I get has been stellar. Surgeon didn't care that I don't identify as a man when I had my consultation. Where I get my T from, the nurse asked at first whether I wanted full masculinizing effects or a dose meant for milder changes. And when I said I wanted full, there were no doubts or questions, she just believed me. Socially I don't really care if people assume I'm a trans guy because I'd rather them assume that than that I'm a cis woman. Both are incorrect but one is WAY more dysphoria inducing than the other. I use they/them exclusively but I still get she/her'ed all the time in public but honestly I can't say anything because I live in rural Texas and I have too much fear to draw attention to my transness.

[@gckinsey]

It's so great to hear from a fellow trans/nonbinary person on T! Thank you for sharing so much about your experience. Having to do a lot just to get read as androgynous much less masculine is such a real struggle. I fortunately have height on my side at 5'10", but my body developed in a very curvy way that doesn't do me any favors. My hipbones are the one thing that medical transition can't help with, so I've had to get creative with how I dress and use other parts of my body to balance them out. I find it frustrating when people think presenting masculine is easier/lower effort than presenting feminine, just because it doesn't usually involve the same amount of time on hair/makeup... that mindset never takes body shape into account at all. (Transitioning hasn't saved me any time on getting ready to leave the house, LOL... in fact it often takes longer now.) I'm really happy that you've received such excellent gender affirming healthcare! So far mine has involved a mix of super well informed people and others I've had to educate. But fortunately no blatantly transphobic ones (which is better than I'd hoped for TBH!). I hope you continue to get stellar care. "Socially I don't really care if people assume I'm a trans guy because I'd rather them assume that than that I'm a cis woman. Both are incorrect but one is WAY more dysphoria inducing than the other." >> Yeah this is a mood, I'm equally fine with being read as either a man or an enby in public (though the few times I've been read as a cishet man have felt super weird because I'm way too loud and proud about being queer and trans for that XD). And even if people read me as a woman, I don't care as long as they don't call me one to my face. I wish people didn't misgender you all the time in public (though considering that you're in Texas, I can see why you don't say anything... it still sucks that it has to be that way though). I hope that stops happening over time the longer you're on T! Thank you so much again for watching and leaving such an amazing comment, I really appreciate it!

[@les5503]

Huge agree that it’s more effort to present masculine, I cut my own hair for financial reasons and I am seriously looking forward to the day I read androgynous enough to comfortably grow my hair long again because having to break out the shears every few weeks is exhausting lol

[@scotthannan8669]

This idea that male and female are genders AND male and female are also biological sex is what leads to people saying that people who talk about this stuff are nuts. Biological sex is not something that we can change. Gender is entirely a thing in peoples minds, much like race is made up so is gender. When you use the same or almost identical terminology to describe a mostly binary physical property of people, and the same or similar terminology to describe a mental believe, no wonder people are puzzled. It’s not people being intentionally difficult, it is simply a poor use of language. Language is generally supposed to be used communicate ideas not obfuscate ideas. It also often feels as if all of the pseudoscientific explanations for everything our conjure up to place some sort of reality alongside a thing that is actually entirely made up by our minds. Without a doubt people are allowed to hold whatever beliefs they like. And people should be able to take whatever actions they like, provided that they don’t hurt another person. So people should be free too express themselves however they choose. You may disagree with someone getting a tattoo but if they desire a tattoo, then do whatever makes you happy. The problem here is the overzealous people who insist that believing can somehow affect the immutable side of things, even though beliefs generally only affect what’s contained in your mind. People can’t say I am female because I suddenly decided to believe it. But when you mix up biological sex terminology and gender identification terminology as if they are the same thing, then it leads to these silly arguments where the two people debating are not actually debating the same thing.

[@gckinsey]

I'd like to address a few misconceptions I see here... "This idea that male and female are genders AND male and female are also biological sex is what leads to people saying that people who talk about this stuff are nuts." >> This is why I like to designate between gender and sex in my language (by using man/woman for gender and male/female for sex, for example). But I don't think confusion about language is why people think that trans & nonbinary people are "nuts" - I think that just stems from transphobia. "Biological sex is not something that we can change." >> So what exactly are hormones and surgeries changing if not biological sex? I have been changing mine with testosterone for the past 2 years now. "Gender is entirely a thing in peoples minds, much like race is made up so is gender." >> Gender (and race) may be social constructs, but that doesn't mean they're "entirely a thing in people's minds" or not real. Also, just because something does exist entirely in your mind doesn't make it less real. Everyone's internal sense of gender may be a unique, personal thing that lives in their mind, but it's still just as real as any other aspect of their personality. "When you use the same or almost identical terminology to describe a mostly binary physical property of people, and the same or similar terminology to describe a mental believe, no wonder people are puzzled. It’s not people being intentionally difficult, it is simply a poor use of language. Language is generally supposed to be used communicate ideas not obfuscate ideas." >> I agree that it can be confusing if people use the same terminology to describe both sex and gender when they're two different (but related) concepts. But this terminology stems from an overwhelmingly binary society that has used "sex" and "gender" interchangeably for years. Trans and nonbinary people aren't the ones doing that - most of us are actually trying to deconstruct that language to make it less confusing and more accurate/inclusive. "It also often feels as if all of the pseudoscientific explanations for everything our conjure up to place some sort of reality alongside a thing that is actually entirely made up by our minds." >> I'm not sure what kinds of explanations you're talking about here that are pseudoscientific. There is plenty of scientific data around what constitutes physical sex and how changing it can help alleviate gender dysphoria. If you're talking about the way people explain gender, that's not science or pseudoscience - it's just people sharing their lived experience. "Without a doubt people are allowed to hold whatever beliefs they like. And people should be able to take whatever actions they like, provided that they don’t hurt another person. So people should be free too express themselves however they choose. You may disagree with someone getting a tattoo but if they desire a tattoo, then do whatever makes you happy." >> Yep, agreed with all of this. And your tattoo metaphor is an apt one for transitioning (whether that transition is medical, legal, social, or any/all of the above). "The problem here is the overzealous people who insist that believing can somehow affect the immutable side of things, even though beliefs generally only affect what’s contained in your mind. People can’t say I am female because I suddenly decided to believe it. But when you mix up biological sex terminology and gender identification terminology as if they are the same thing, then it leads to these silly arguments where the two people debating are not actually debating the same thing." >> Like I mentioned previously, it's generally not the trans and nonbinary community who are mixing up sex and gender terms - that stems from the binary society we live in. We're the ones who are trying to help that society understand that sex (your physical characteristics) and gender (who you are inside) are two different things. None of us are saying that simply declaring what our gender is changes our anatomy - we know the difference between sex and gender, and between social and medical transition, very clearly. What we *are* saying is that 1) our physical sex isn't immutable, it changes when we medically transition, and 2) regardless of whether we medically transition or not, we deserve to be respected as the gender we are. I hope that helps clear things up!

[@YuliShowMeLove]

the problem w non-binary identity is alot of the jargon is hijacked from intersex people who are tired of being cannon fodder for the trans debate - would love your thoughts on this

[@gckinsey]

My thoughts in a nutshell are that the trans/nonbinary community and the intersex community are natural allies in the fight for bodily autonomy rights. Sometimes there is literal overlap between the two groups as well (I have several friends who are both intersex and nonbinary, for example). So whenever I see infighting, refusal to listen, or lack of communication/understanding between these communities, I just shake my head. My full thoughts could probably be the subject of a whole other video TBH.

[@Oujijoshi]

There's nothing wrong with being nonbinary or seeking altersex resources, but it *is* true that trans and nonbinary communities can be guilty of this kind of intersexism. I am so sorry that our community is so bad with this, intersex people aren't a "gotcha" to transphobes to prove that we're real. Intersex people don't exist for trans and especially nonbinary validation, because intersex people still continue to face both medical and social discrimination. We absolutely should do better than just pulling the intersex card, we should be advocating for the intersex community too. There are just so many overlapping issues that all of our communities face. There are even intersex trans and nonbinary people who are infinitely more impacted by the overwhelming amounts of anti trans legislation going on right now. Intersex people can have complex relationships with gender too due to their intersexness, like intergender people. We should absolutely show more solidarity for them as well and work alongside them and intersex people of all genders to make up for the damage our community has caused. There is just too much erasure glossing over intersex issues and we don't use our platforms enough to share intersex voices.

[@SaraphineTheMer-Queen]

Love this video. What I would love to see normalized is people supporting and accepting one another no matter what their gender (or lack thereof), gender presentation, pronouns, gender identity(ies), whether they transition in every way possible or don't transition whatsoever. Allow people to be themselves, whatever way they decide. It bears repeating for the 10,000th time, but there is no one right way to be trans/nonbinary or to transition. Binary trans people DON'T have to transition at all, and nonbinary people can transition in every conceivable way. And everything in between. I have only socially transitioned. I don't know if it would ever be physically possible to exist in my body the way I want it to be, or that there would ever be any procedures to achieve what I want. So does the lack of that ability mean that I'm somehow less nonbinary? Even when I try to outwardly express my gender in more stereotypically coded ways, I'm still only ever viewed as a binary gendered person (the gender I was assigned at birth), which is the gender that I actually LEAST identify with/as, and it's still difficult to express being a polygender/genderfluid person to the world anyway. Seeing some binary trans people attack nonbinary people and accuse them of using binary trans people's resources because they want to transition is disgusting. Why are you attacking people in your own community when you should be pissed off at the gatekeeping, cishetero sexist/normative medical establishment as well as the right wing, transphobic politicians and voters who are attacking us and stripping away our rights? To also see some trans people gatekeep use of label "trans" is also petty, middle school mean-girl behavior. You don't get to decide who identifies as what or who uses certain labels. Trying to lord your superiority over others in the community by excluding them or bullying them or telling them they're not valid or can't use labels reeks of arrogant insecurity. We're all facing tremendously harrowing issues and this is the hill you want to die on? I've definitely felt like I wasn't allowed to use these labels for myself, like I wasn't "enough" because I wasn't being nonbinary/trans the "right" way and because I got caught up in the thinking that "truly" trans = transition.

[@gckinsey]

YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS! =D "It bears repeating for the 10,000th time, but there is no one right way to be trans/nonbinary or to transition." >> I feel like this should be a sign on the wall of every medical establishment that provides gender affirming healthcare, & a pinned post in every online space for the trans & nonbinary community. The number of people who need this reminder is staggering. "I don't know if it would ever be physically possible to exist in my body the way I want it to be, or that there would ever be any procedures to achieve what I want. So does the lack of that ability mean that I'm somehow less nonbinary?" >> I feel like tons of nonbinary people feel this way, yet not enough of us are talking about it (or we're misunderstood when we try). I actually just had a conversation with a fellow transmasc nonbinary friend about this-much like you've described, his ideal medical transition isn't possible either. The only hormonal change he wants is a deeper voice, so he doesn't think T is worth it... but now he has to deal with people thinking he's a woman just because of how his voice sounds. Of course we're all just as nonbinary regardless of how we transition/outwardly express it. But it sucks that so few people understand that and will just put us into a binary box anyway. Also, this is so real: "it's still difficult to express being a polygender/genderfluid person to the world anyway." I'm genderfluid (moving in a masculine-to-genderqueer space) and the way I like to express that is with a "glam dude" kind of aesthetic. But unless I'm in an explicitly queer space, that usually just gets me perceived as a woman - and even if I present as more of a regular/not glam dude, it's still a crapshoot as to how I'll be gendered. But it's almost always as either a man or a woman and not as the masculine nonbinary/genderfluid person I actually am. I wish there were an easier way for people to convey the full truth of their genderfluidity and not have it perceived so far off the mark. "Seeing some binary trans people attack nonbinary people and accuse them of using binary trans people's resources because they want to transition is disgusting." >> This is a huge pet peeve of mine too. Same with what you mentioned about binary trans folks gatekeeping the trans label. (It took me way too long to claim that label because of said gatekeeping.) Fortunately, I haven't faced these kinds of attitudes from binary trans people in person. But online it's a whole different story. Since I started T, I've gotten downright nasty comments about how I'm "taking away resources from trans people who actually need it," "giving real trans people a bad name," "confusing cis people," "transitioning wrong," etc. Whenever people express those sentiments toward me, it really just makes me feel sad for them. It's so obviously rooted in respectability politics, and they don't seem to realize that someday the leopards will eat their faces too. I hope someday they learn that all segments of the trans (& more broadly queer) community have so much more to gain from being each other's allies than being each other's enemies. Especially in this political climate. Thank you so so much for watching this video and leaving such an incredible comment! You're awesome! :)

[@SaraphineTheMer-Queen]

@@gckinsey I wish those people would realize that it's not "taking away resources", because anyone who needs or wants gender affirming care deserves it, no matter who they are. Instead of attacking other people who need it, they should be fighting for more broad access for all people. I think part of the reason why they attack nonbinary people is because they've been just as indoctrinated by the cissexist/normative binary, and they've experienced transphobia and internalized it and so they figure if they can assimilate perfectly into a binary gendered role and pass completely, they'll be free and they'll be viewed as one of the "Good" trans people. It's the same as gay people who were fighting for marriage equality and would attack and throw other queer people or pansexual, bisexual people, and polyamorous couples under the bus because they weren't performing heteronormativity in their relationships and were "making us look bad". So gay people started making progress and achieved more acceptance and then started saying, "We're the 'right' kind of gay, but those bisexual, pansexual, trans and nonbinary people aren't like US. They're the mentally ill ones who don't deserve rights." Then trans people gained more attention and maybe a little bit of acceptance in places, then started saying, "We're valid as we are, but those nonbinary people are crazy, attention-seeking creeps. They aren't like US." It just keeps perpetuating the same problem onto the minorities underneath them who are the most vulnerable. It's people who are marginalized using other minorities as fodder to attack and hold themselves up as being good enough for the cishet power structures to throw them a morsel of privilege. It's a I got mine, fuck everyone else kind of attitude. Trying to appeal to cishet people and mimic them isn't going to get us anywhere. All it does is get us lip-service from some of them. And it denies who we truly are. This isn't to attack binary trans people who fit into stereotypical molds, or to attack gay couples who fit into heteronormative molds. If that's what you want and who you are, I support that. But many of us don't want that. There are so many ways to be and do things and what many of us are doing is fighting for a liberated world, not just for trans/nonbinary people, but for cis people too. But they don't see that. They don't want to admit that the false gender binary norms hurt all of us, and no one can live up to them because they're arbitrary and unattainable. Instead they want to kill the messengers. Instead of destroying the very systems and beliefs that keep us locked in to suffering, they would rather deny it exists and uphold it. Some of them do this because they realized how powerful these systems are and they want to wield that power over others. And I think this may be another aspect of why binary trans people attack nonbinary people is because they feel like they've achieved a modicum of acceptance or power in cis society, and so after all that struggle they feel threatened by nonbinary people and so they have to attack them to try and maintain their kernel of supposed validity. We deserve equal rights and acceptance as we are, no matter what. The bottom line is we are all human beings and it shouldn't matter who and what we are. This is what they've always done. Oppress people and then throw them one small scrap and watch them destroy each other to try and get it, when we should be destroying the systems that keep us locked in to this way of existing. It's ridiculous, because how many of these politicians and right wing groups are attacking lgbtqia people constantly? They don't care if a gay couple is just like a straight one and are married and raising kids and have good jobs, they don't care if a trans person is just like a binary cis person and looks and acts just like them. They've explicitly expressed their hatred and desire to get rid of us, period. No amount of assimilation or perfect mimicry will save anyone. Infighting just worsens our chances of coming together to fight for all of our rights and ability to live freely.

[@gckinsey]

@@SaraphineTheMer-Queen Everything you're describing here about being one of the "good" trans people (& similarly, the "right" kind of gay people) is respectability politics, and that's a topic I could probably make another video or even a whole series about. (I actually just had to unfollow a few trans creators I really respected because they started leaning into respectability politics and attacking other trans people they saw as "cringy" ...it made me really sad.) I agree so much that trying to appeal to cis people isn't going to get us anywhere. Even the most palatable trans person will still get their face eaten by the leopards in the end. It's much better for us to band together as a community and have each other's backs no matter what. Which is why the "I got mine, fuck everyone else" thing REALLY sucks. It's just crabs in a bucket. And it's the last thing we need when the trans community is the current political scapegoat.

[@ao24764]

Your voice sounds amazing! I'm jealous of your vocal weight

[@gckinsey]

OMG best compliment ever, thank you so much!!!

[@azzyjeffs]

@@gckinseyAgreed - came for the waistcoat, stayed for the voice 🤣

[@gckinsey]

@@azzyjeffs AHHH thank you!

[@Shark_in_a_dinosaur_costume]

Where do genderfluid/bigender people fall in this?

[@gckinsey]

Genderfluid and bigender are identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella (and therefore under the broader trans umbrella). Just like anyone else under those umbrellas, genderfluid and/or bigender people may or may not undergo a medical transition, and if they do, that medical transition could take any form. I'm an example of a genderfluid person (I fluctuate between masculine and genderqueer) who is medically transitioning!

[@Iguessihaveopinions]

Hello, I really enjoyed your video and thought your point of view was quite thoughtful! I do have a few questions though, if you don’t mind answering! Do you think it may be harmful to advocate for people to google what medical procedures they want performed on them? I often hear doctors tell patients not to trust everything they read on google, since it isn’t always safe or accurate. I understand looking into possibilities, but any kind of surgery or medication has risks associated with it that need to be taken into consideration by medical professionals. Over medicalization can be dangerous as well and cause more problems than what someone started with. Additionally, I think a lot of the confusion around non-binary medicalization comes from a concern for the well being of a person. I think it’s a common belief that medically altering your appearance can come from poor self image and mental health. Like how society sees people with a lot of plastic surgery as not being content with themselves they way they are so they medically alter themselves to pretend to be someone else. Could it be better to advocate for people to get into therapy and become more comfortable with the body they already have? So, with all that being said, my big question to you is this. Could advocating for people to search online for what procedures they want to have done cause people to undergo more medicalization than they might need to be happy and thus lead to more suffering overall? Please let me know what you think! Thank you! ❤❤❤

[@gckinsey]

These are some good questions! Here are my responses... "Do you think it may be harmful to advocate for people to google what medical procedures they want performed on them? I often hear doctors tell patients not to trust everything they read on google, since it isn’t always safe or accurate. I understand looking into possibilities, but any kind of surgery or medication has risks associated with it that need to be taken into consideration by medical professionals." >> I think that for anyone considering medical transition, internet searches (whether through Google or another engine) should be the bare minimum. Looking into a variety of sources of information is key. Believing everything you read at the first source you find would be dangerous, but the more sources you consume, the fuller picture you'll get (and the better you'll get at learning to weed out bad/inaccurate information). Then it's important to supplement your internet searches by talking to people who can help you. That includes both healthcare professionals who provide gender affirming care, and other trans/nonbinary people who have experience with the kind of medical transition you're pursuing. So no, I don't think it's harmful to advocate for people to google whatever medical procedures they want, but I do think that googling is just a good starting point. "Over medicalization can be dangerous as well and cause more problems than what someone started with. Additionally, I think a lot of the confusion around non-binary medicalization comes from a concern for the well being of a person. I think it’s a common belief that medically altering your appearance can come from poor self image and mental health. Like how society sees people with a lot of plastic surgery as not being content with themselves they way they are so they medically alter themselves to pretend to be someone else. Could it be better to advocate for people to get into therapy and become more comfortable with the body they already have?" >> There's a name for this kind of therapy, and it's called conversion therapy. There is tons of evidence out there that it doesn't work - and not only that, but it's actively harmful to the people who undergo it. And every major medical association is in agreement that the most effective way to alleviate gender dysphoria is to bring your body into alignment with your mind rather than trying to get your mind to accept your body as it is. "Could advocating for people to search online for what procedures they want to have done cause people to undergo more medicalization than they might need to be happy and thus lead to more suffering overall?" >> I don't think so. Just because you search for information about something doesn't mean you're going to do that thing - it just means you're going to gain a lot more knowledge about it. (And that's good!) Also, I think the biggest thing that leads to more suffering overall for trans & nonbinary people is transphobia. And bigotry like transphobia stems from ignorance. So if society gained more knowledge about us, maybe there wouldn't be so much transphobia floating around. On that note, I want to thank you for watching this video and asking these questions. I hope my answer have helped you learn some new things! :)

[@Iguessihaveopinions]

@@gckinsey thank you for your response! I realize now that it did sound like I was talking about conversion therapy, but that isn’t what I intended. I guess I was thinking that it would be more beneficial for a person to fully understand why they want to transition before they undergo it. I don’t think people should be converted to “being normal” I just think that they shouldn’t be told that transition is the only solution. I personally have benefited from therapy and understanding myself and the traumas that led me to not wanting to be a woman. I ended up realizing that for me, I didn’t need to change my body just the way I thought about it. I realize not everyone will have my experience but I bet a lot of younger girls would. I think encouraging gender nonconformity is more beneficial for people than encouraging gender medicalization. But I do see the benefits of gender surgery for many people who truly do have treatment resistant dysphoria. Thanks again for sharing your experience and point of view! I definitely agree that we need to talk more about this stuff so that people will be less confused about it. ❤️

[@gckinsey]

@@Iguessihaveopinions Thank you so much for following up! I'm glad conversion therapy wasn't what you meant. I want to address a couple of the points you made in your response: "I guess I was thinking that it would be more beneficial for a person to fully understand why they want to transition before they undergo it." >> I agree that ideally, people should fully understand why they want to transition medically before they do so. But 1) I think that it's possible to reach that understanding with or without therapy, and 2) I think that looking up information about medical transition helps enhance that understanding, because knowledge is power. "I think encouraging gender nonconformity is more beneficial for people than encouraging gender medicalization." >> I don't see gender nonconformity and medical transition as an either/or scenario. You can be gender nonconforming whether or not you medically transition, and you can medically transition regardless of how little or how much you conform to gender expectations. But like you mentioned previously, if you have a solid understanding of why you want to transition and what you want out of it, that will help inform whether/how you medically transition and how gender (non)conforming you want to be in your expression. I hope all of that is helpful! :)