5 Non-Binary People Explain What “Non-Binary” Means To Them

[@rubyluisa1756]

your personality and fashion sense is not a gender

[@relp6238]

@Marcellin Muzaaya gender is identified by the sex chromosomes- XX or XY.

[@rubyluisa1756]

Marcellin Muzaaya gender is directly tied to your sex, brain & chromosomes, everything in your body is gendered down to your dna, hence why you can only be male or female

[@nataliehuang1420]

@@oliverbrantome1325 Gender has been proven to *NOT* be a social construct many times. Why don't you look at other sites beside Vox and WSJ.

[@maraimaski4762]

Oliver Brantome gender norms are social constructs not gender itself

[@kevinboone2178]

@Marcellin Muzaaya male/female/human being.

[@Quickstrike4521]

I’ve been googling non binary stuff for the past few hours and I am absolutely beyond confused. I’m looking it up because I DO want to make an attempt to understand other people and who they are but I’m more confused than before I started looking it up. I feel bad but at least I’m making a genuine effort and not just judging and degrading these people Edit: 356 replies later (trying to read all of them) didn’t help a lot :D. I feel I’m destined to just NOT get it. Sorry :(

[@구바-w6v]

same

[@bentitoartwork1270]

Im here to answer your questions!

[@bentitoartwork1270]

@@jameslweekes First of all being confused is normal and you are totally valid! mostly they them is used as a alternative pronoun to pronouns that are heavily gendered (he ,she). If you want to know for yourself well you can tell people to refer to you with they them :). How to use he/they she/they : simple you can use any of the two, combination pronouns can be both used and dont change much. Now if you are confused on how to ask someone just ask them nicely « hey! what pronouns do you use » and its that simple :) does this clear things up?

[@esthebanceballo7699]

I’m new to this also,I don’t anyone to feel disrespected.

[@jamieisnotokay3298]

Honestly, you don't have to understand. I feel that people think non-binary people are either man and woman or they aren't either, but that's just not true. While some are, non-binary identities are really diverse. I think the best way to understand is to completely dismantle your idea of gender. Gender is a spectrum, and everyone experiences it differently, even cis people. This is my best way of explaining it. I'm really happy that you even try to understand because ignorance causes hate, knowledge dismantles hate.

[@3StonePoker]

Play it safe..... just call everyone "mate".... you're welcome.

[@beetle7710]

But I live in a America

[@anxiety_disaster]

I've always liked the phrase dapper... but it's always used as a dapper man and I know I'm not a man. I just wanna be dapper them lol

[@Alex_itimia]

Or Pal

[@JJ-uq8xf]

Just call them all benders, its more the truth than mate.

[@orboobleck5366]

@@beetle7710 "Dude" will work in that case.

[@kristinayordanova365]

I personally feel that the more labels we use, the more we divide our society and create more distance from each other.

[@mafiagirl1648]

Let’s go touch some grass together

[@user-lb4fr2ly4b]

Yeah I get you. Why do we even need gender? Genuinely asking, not trying to invalidate anyone's gender. Just trying to understand its purpose.

[@studentstudent5044]

@@user-lb4fr2ly4b Cause we have two genders that we’re born as🤦🏼. And we need to recognize mens strengths and womens strengths and work together.

[@angelb3339]

@@user-lb4fr2ly4b becuz biologically we are men and woman that’s the two genders why try to make everything so easy and loving and the way we want it to like no it doesn’t work like that and it actually makes it a lot more complicated fR it s m’en and woman since the beginning why change that it’s weird just to think about it something wrong

[@windowseat4]

i disagree, i can see where you're coming from but these types of labels aren't the ones that are creating this division.

[@regankellymorris]

But fashion isn't the same thing as gender

[@spellsforfreedom8102]

Fashion has alot to do with gender expression

[@connoranderson3380]

It's a hint

[@fuzzbone]

THEY KNOW

[@Rager-xo9hy]

well said

[@fariasdossantosiuane4485]

@Lacey Kean it has a lot to do, but if they don't identifies as trans then they are not

[@AditiBose22]

Not being a masculine man or a feminine woman doesn't mean you are a new gender. There is no cookie cutter definition of what traits a man or woman should be like. It's called being yourself for a reason. Not being a stereotypical man or woman and saying that you are not a man because you like to wear dresses is just enforcing the stereotypes that you can't be a man and like dresses too.

[@graypetcoyle]

Ad B you can dress how you wish. But being trans and nonbinary has nothing to do with silly little things like what bit of cloth you put on in the morning. It’s much more than that. This video was a very basic 101 class. I found it to be oversimplified.

[@jade747]

@@graypetcoyle THANK YOU

[@deewooten98]

They never said that they’re not men because they chose to wear a dress. They’re non binary because they don’t feel like a man or a woman. For example, the way I dress doesn’t define my gender identity, because it’s an intrinsic knowledge i have of myself.

[@AditiBose22]

@@graypetcoyle i understand trans people because they have genuine gender dysphoria but I just don't understand the concept of non binary. Either way, if my comment comes of as offensive, tell me, I'll remove it. I am trying to understand more about nb people recently and I had forgot about this comment, because just because I don't understand them doesn't mean they are not legit.

[@graypetcoyle]

Ad B it’s fine, I appreciate that you’re trying to learn. And it really is a hard thing to describe. You can’t describe how it feels to be a man or a woman without resorting to stereotypes, and that’s true for nonbinary people as well. And since the experience is so different from person to person... well it makes it even harder. The best I can do is using a glass of colored water as a metaphor. So imagine you have an empty glass. Next to it is water with blue dye, and water with pink dye. You can fill it up with a reasonable amount of either pink or blue, you can mix it, you can only partially fill it, you can overfill it, you can leave it empty, etc. You can decorate the glass all you want or put the liquid in another cup, but the liquid stays the same. Just like how no matter what the person looks like or what they do with their body, they will always have the same internal sense of gender. This isn’t a scientific explanation, but honestly it’s late and I can’t be bothered to look up several reputable sources to support some claim. But hopefully this slightly artsy explanation does something for you? Idk

[@MariaLaSister]

Simply put and I quote Prince's lyrics: I'm not a woman I'm not a man I am something that you'll never understand. You just are and that should be enough.

[@PeaceGirl2318]

He didn't mean it in a "non-binary" way he was speaking from a place of spirituality. He was basically talking about God.

[@cjstar7623]

He was talking about GOD🤦

[@cjstar7623]

@Marioso?

[@Airdash5678]

I am curious to see how this would play out

[@lowqualitywaffle8765]

A M. But if gender isn’t the same as sex, then that would mean that, if you were to live a life without any “gender stereotypes”, that you would still be either man or woman, but just not act strictly masculine or feminine

[@Samuel115s]

Just cuz you don't aline with gender stereotypes and expectations for your sex, that dose not make you a different gender or sex.

[@loka-chan6695]

Like as a woman I can’t chop wood now cos That’s a man thing? Am I nonbinary cos I like sport, chop wood when I have to? I though we where in 2023 and not somewhere in 1800s😂😂

[@euso2008]

Being non-binary might defy gender stereotypes, but Defying gender stereotypes doesn't automatically make you non-binary

[@sknight8621]

it's extremely, extremely simple. If you do not identify primarily with either man or woman, you are non-binary... hence the term... non binary

[@city8742]

Main problem is "what is a woman" because as a male I can't know how it feels like to be a woman. If I can know then maybe I am a woman too, but I don't know. It is ok to be for example a gay, you can identify clearly what it is. But othe stuff it doesn'h have sense first of all because it's like diagnosing your helt problems using google search.

[@erzsebethyoung]

​@@city8742... Some people are BORN with a Hormonal Imbalance ... females have more male hormones then female and males have more feminine hormones than masculine ... It's not complicated really but it wasn't explained clearly when it should have been DECADES ago.

[@LordOwenTheThird]

Lord, give me the power to not look at the comments.

[@AthenaPOfficial]

Your comment gave me the strength to not scroll any farther. Seriously thank you haha

[@3handedpoker]

Have some fun!

[@daleval2182]

Lol

[@CannotBeVerified]

Thank you

[@cockroach5717]

@L Cuz u cant handle facts.

[@kibbybipps]

The non-binary people in this vid: "Why can't people just not associate fashion and personalities with genders?" Also them: "I don't dress like men or women, so therefore, I'm neither :))))))" Sidenote: I'm not saying non-binary people don't exist, just that fashion isn't what defines your gender. If you wanna identify as a guy, gal, neither, or even both then you do you!

[@iangarcia2412]

YES! I also think that. Bless u Isabelle haha

[@philip5168]

It’s a tough cookie. Clothing is gendered by society unfortunately, so for trans people (including binary trans and non binary trans), clothing can be very gender affirming or on the flip side for those who experience dysphoria, gender dysphoria inducing.

[@philip5168]

JW McCabe Nah.

[@jasperholm3083]

@JW McCabe If you see a dress that goes by she/her pronoun and has a vagina and a suit has a penis and uses he/him pronouns, maybe you should go fix that...

[@alexsarullo3753]

Fashion is a product of society. Gender binary is a product of society. Products of society are often found entangled with one another. They are trying to produce a fashion which is disentangled from the gender binary (but not of gender). They believe gender is performative, as Judith Butler suggests. This simply means that there should not necessarily be a goal to achieve femininity/masculinity in fashion. What they try to achieve is a composition of behavioural elements ie. Brightness, roundness, curvature, etc. to REFER to aspects of history/beauty/ideology of their creative choosing to compose a product of fashion. Although these references contain entangled fragments of binary gender, they are trying to purify as much of binary influence as possible. We unnecessarily associate the compositional elements (roundness, edginess, etc) with masculinity/femininity. Our perception is tied to binary values. Masculinity/femininity are adjectives, not nouns. We can describe things with them, but they are not things which have properties and features. Nothing relates/refers to masculinity/femininity as they are not things, rather, we prescribe what we observe with masculinity/femininity. A dress with sharp, edgy components is a good example of this. Objectively, it is a product of fashion. If we choose to assign a binary interpretation upon the dress, it becomes convoluted. The dress is typically seen as feminine. The edginess is typically seen as masculine. The binary would call the overall product a 'hodgepodge' of a gender dichotomy. It's both masculine and feminine, which the heteronormative society sees as taboo/strange/uncomfortable. However, it's simply a composition of creative elements, the designer of the dress attempted to compose it with aesthetic features relating to shape and reference to social aesthetics. The art was not created in a binary sandbox, so by interpreting it in a binary sense, you are not understanding the actual meaning the designer embedded the fashion with. They are doing their best to purify a domain (fashion) from the gender binary. If you decide to assign gender to the fashion, it does not imply the fashion is gendered.

[@jade747]

My only problem with this video is that they kinda display non-binary folks as people who simply wanna be different or unique or just dress non-gendered. That's really not what it's all about. I liked Feng's way of explaining what non-binary is. It has nothing to do with clothing, makeup or just expression. I loved Feng's explanation.

[@themoribundapathetic4530]

yeah exactly

[@themoribundapathetic4530]

i relate to the person who came out at 17 the most. im 17 rn.

[@pendragonluver]

@@trickyhuntress wait, theres more??

[@jade747]

@A M. male is when you born male or identify and transition to male. Female is when you are born female or identify and transition to female. Non-binary simply means that you identify as neither of the binary genders male and female. Non-binary people transition very differently, both socially and physically, as they adjust their body and name/pronouns to what fits them. This transition is not only about clothing, but about how a enby person feels the need to change

[@henrybarragan42]

Yass! Mental disorder 🤣 .. omg a world where people are starting to call babies theybies end of times we will be punished for allowing this to happen

[@AJLovesMC12]

I feel like a lot of them are using the terms “male” and “man” interchangeably, but correct me if I’m wrong…a (biological) male is a human-being born with male genitalia. You can’t choose your biological sex (male/female), but you can choose your gender identity (man/woman/non-binary). Personally, I don’t see why you’d need a different gender in order to express your individuality. I’ve always been a more feminine guy (probably cuz I’m gay lol), but I never hated being called a man. It’s so crazy how our current society places so much focus on how we “identify,” but why does it matter if we are called a “man” or “woman”? They are just words that describe two types of human: one with male genitalia and one with female genitalia. Yes, we tend to perceive men as masculine and women as feminine, but no one said you can’t be a man and present as more feminine and vice versa. I didn’t mean to write an essay, but that’s just how I feel when it comes to gender identity. Sorry if I offended anyone.😅

[@ItsWhatever736]

Good for you for living your life. I wish we wouldn't make things as complicated as we do now. Voices like yours need to be heard.

[@AllytheGumby]

i think the biggest problem is when you need to apologise for an opinion - the way society has made such a big thing out of just labelling things as either offensive or not is really problematic, so it makes almost anything hard to sort out, explain or question. i truly agree with all the things you've said, but i think that the reason most males/females who feel nonbinary make it a gender thing and feel the need to change their gender to further affirm or express their identity is probably just to clear up the fact that most people do associate specific qualities with a male, and specific qualities with a female. still, i do definitely think that there is too much of a focus on the idea of gender, and i think many attributes or personality traits are misassociated with gender.

[@CampyBiscuit]

Why do you need to identify as gay? Why not just have sex with whoever you want? Why does there need to be a label? Maybe meditate on that for a bit and see if it changes how you feel about trans people.

[@AllytheGumby]

@@CampyBiscuit because some ppl feel like another gender regardless of their orientation and want to be treated as such. I do think that the 82 gender thing is ridiculous though. Why not just have male, female and other? Also if you’re referring to someone who just identifies as gay because of their orientation, usually that also goes hand in hand with identity and it also helps you find people with the same orientation.

[@jjQlLlLq]

I'm a masculine female and I DO hate being called a woman. But more specifically, because my society is religious & sexist and can't accept masculine women & feminine men. I really think that as long as the society is sexist and can't accept various self-expression that doesn't have to remark "but you're still a woman/man 😉" at the end with gendered expectations implications, as long as the binary are prescribed boxes that has gendered expectations on top of just being physically female/male, there will always be lost androgynes who can't fit the box and feel more belonging in the label "non-binary".

[@SummeRain783]

I feel these people focus on the gender stereotypes even more. Who said women can’t wear pants without still being a woman? Masculine and feminine is not the same as gender

[@makemyvideodotcom4423]

Exactly, call yourself whatever, go by whatever and wear whatever

[@donnaburns7873]

Exactly

[@snowflakeshatemelol352]

Non binary people are just like Bunyips Made up and not real 🤣😂😅😆

[@makemyvideodotcom4423]

@@snowflakeshatemelol352 Someone wants attention 🤣

[@snowflakeshatemelol352]

Only to spread her humour and laughter for the joy of all No one but no one is immune from being joked about

[@rishabhgokhale2433]

I completely respect their rights but I have no idea what’s going on here

[@jackcarpenters3759]

you have rights yourself. the right to identify them as you wish. don't let them dicatate what you see.

[@Alacatraba]

@@jackcarpenters3759 well you could do that but. It's so easy to make them happy just changing a few words or treating them as they want to be treated. To be respected it's always nice and some times makes your day.

[@cheio1238]

@@Alacatraba that's meant to be a choice

[@sabrit0n35]

they have no gender

[@tinahochstetler2189]

What's going on is they are ramrodding all other men and women into super rigid stereotypical boxes. And then saying, "Look at meeeeee!!!!!" because, like the rest of us, they don't fit with every gender stereotype. They think they've come up with something new, and they stuck a label on it.

[@ThriftShopTunes]

" Being non binary means I have the freedom to wake up and spike my hair and be punk" huh?? who doesn't have that freedom?? Im not trying to be rude I looked this up to understand what non binary is and im more confused. Im genuinely trying to learn.

[@bellothompson247]

as a non-binary person, i have no idea.

[@yvesvixxen]

I think they just meant being able to express themselves in ways that are typically gendered like people only associating certain hairstyles with either being male or female instead of with complete freedom.

[@nur2277]

As non-binary, I think of it as the belonging of somewhere in between. I am not a man, I don't fit into that. It's a feeling. To make it clearer, if I imagine myself being with some men for a day and I being one more of them it would be ok, but I am not like them, I don't feel like them. Same the other way around. I know everyone is different but I never felt like I fitted in neither of those categories. Even though I look typically "masculine" and use he/him pronouns in my mother tongue, I am still enby (non-binary). Gender assigned at birth, gender identity and gender expression are three different things. Each one of them is an spectrum and that is one of the many things that makes everyone different. Hope this isn't too long and helped somehow😅 It actually helped myself to expres it, so thank you❤

[@alexh6767]

@@nur2277 if non-binary people dress that isn't gender confirming rather a wide expression on how they feel, I understand that. What is unfortunate is that non-binary people call themselves transgender. You can't be both, to be trans you are binary transitioning to binary. What I can't understand is most of trans activism is shadowed by non-binary people and trans people are already a minority and it gets the world confused. Dear non-binary people. You are not trans, you just express differently to your sex. You don't have a male or female brain.

[@nur2277]

@@alexh6767 Trans and enby people are similar in many ways. We should help one another rather than feel the other is making us less important. I know it may confuse some people (heck my mother is confused!) but that doesn't mean we want to create that confusion. Some non-binary people call themselves trans*non-binary, because they overcome more or less the same struggles as trans people do. Such as changing the way they look, pronouns and some even start hormones, low dose or full dose. They might use the word trans because they also go through a transition. But I'm sure most non-binary people intentions are not to overshadow trans people. I believe I'm going through a transition too, but never would I want to make a trans person feel like I'm stealing their thunder. It's just my opinion.

[@bullsquid42]

To a degree, I relate to this. Even though I present male, "being a man" means nothing to me. It feels weird calling myself "cis", because that feels like an acknowledgment of a gender role I don't actually care about. But since nobody questions my gender, and I'm fine with male pronouns, it just hasn't been a struggle for me.

[@InfuzeDcyphR]

You're still CIS gendered. The classification is someone who identifies with the gender assigned at birth.

[@bullsquid42]

@@InfuzeDcyphR But it's hard to know what it means to "identify". Since I can't know how others feel, I can only speculate; But I have heard a lot of men talk about what "being a man" means to them. And to me it means nothing. But maybe a lack of conflict is enough.

[@karadecker8764]

It sounds like you may be agender, which is a subset of non-binary.

[@traceyclarke8222]

Don’t fix what ain’t broke. I can relate to these people in theory but have no idea why they need to announce how they feel somewhere in the middle. Most people are born male or female. Just because I’m not feminine doesn’t change that Im female. When I’m asked to be a bridesmaid and to put on a dress I don’t have a cry even if I would never normally wear one. I’ve also been asked to be best man before because my best mate is a guy. Most people assume I’m straight but I’m not. Doesn’t bother me and if I need to tell them I do for example if a guy asked me out I’ll tell them. I’m not sure why anyone needs to know your non binary… probably more need to know if gay straight bi etc anyway love to all no matter who you are.

[@bullsquid42]

@@traceyclarke8222 I agree 100%, and I'm grateful I'm in a place where I don't have to ever worry about my gender. I kinda hope in the future gender will no longer come with any expectations for anyone, and the need for these labels will disappear entirely. There's a million other things that are more important to know about someone.

[@saarkoene2761]

What I honesty don't get is this: One the one hand these groups of people emphasize that gender stereotypes should be discarded. That wearing a dress doesnt make you less masculine and that not wearing make-up doesnt make you less feminine etc. On the other hand they still use these stereotypes to say they dont belong to either gender. They say because they feel more male one day and more feminine the other, they do not belong to a gender. But look, this is a contradiction. You cant oppose these stereotypes and then use them as an argument to make your point. It just doesnt make sense. And besides, EVERYONE has fluctuating feelings about how feminine/masculine they feel. One day you in full disney-princess mode and the other you just wanna get your hands dirty. Its called being an individual... Am I missing something here? Please tell me if I do. Because I honestly dont get this.

[@arianas7866]

I think they just don't want to be assigned a gender because they feel like if you say you are a woman... then you should ALWAYS be feminine everyday (and vise versa for male). Idk I think they've got it in their heads that they are so different from everyone else..? I feel like this "feminine" and "masculine" attitude doesn't really exist as anymore in 2019 (in western young people anyways)but non-binary people feel the need go explain "we have no gender" even though females and males don't go around parading their levels of masculinity/femininity. I think i have confused myself now sorry🤦‍♀️😂

[@saarkoene2761]

Hahaha! I feel you XD

[@arianas7866]

@@saarkoene2761 🤷‍♀️x

[@grralms]

I don’t think you’re missing anything, I agree with you actually. There’s a big contradiction here and keeping up this whole thing is just harmful for women and men.

[@ivanignacio7209]

I think this is a complex subject and it's indeed very contradictory, because gender, even cis gender is very contradictory. Once you name this process can be very confusing and i see a lot of people changing their opinion about their own gender through time and that's ok, that's part of the process of drifting of a binary society, and the fact that people can feel entitled to name (or not) how they identify themselves and want to be treated.

[@ieatfrenchfries]

“One thousand years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me.”

[@wailandkarisma4279]

And they procreate by high fiving each other.

[@lowqualitywaffle8765]

Wailand Karisma God, their lips dont even touch.

[@laughter0260]

You mean snowflake wankers 🤪

[@atas2561]

Not all Non Binaries are like that you know

[@yosoypedofiloyosoypedofilo]

@@atas2561 are you one?

[@Drinkyoghurt]

Wait, so now that I understand these labels they make even less sense to me than they did before. I’m a guy, born with a pp, but I have behavior that’s not “traditional” male. I don’t know why doing some stuff or wearing some colors/clothing would have to be gender specific. According to these people I’d be non-binary but nah I’m just a guy who likes some stuff that’s traditionally seen as something for women only.

[@zaki6548]

Exactly. A man can like girly things and still be a man. And a girl can still like boys things and still be a girl

[@joshuakoshy500]

@@zaki6548 exactly brother, I dont understand all this fuss about Non-Binary, you just cant choose your gender based on how u feel, there are some things u just cant changed, so be who you are and if u thing u belong to the opposite gender then do some surgery, not confuse people with these labels nd shit then blame on us for not understanding who you are.

[@joshuaacosta5671]

Being Non Binary is different for every person. You don’t have to be this enigma of gender expression to be non binary. Being non binary is not about enjoying things that are outside of your expected gender role. Being non binary is simply identifying outside of the gender binary. It’s about the way you relate to the world and how you feel the most comfortable being perceived. That’s as simple as I can make it.

[@melancholic2002]

Exactly that....it's getting kinda ridiculous nowadays....not to mention super confusing.

[@joy4084]

Same here, I'm a girl, but sometimes I feel like I'm not enough feminine to be a woman, and not enough masculine to be a male, so I look at this to see if I fit but now I'm more confused.... I guess I'm just a girl lol

[@jasminesanchez5046]

Clothes and personality don’t determine your gender, it depends on how you feel.

[@SaltieEmil]

@Lego man Chromosomes determine your sex. Gender doesn't relate to chromosomes but do to sex.

[@abdianalysis6541]

non binary is bs if you aint male or female then wtf are you a pokemon?

[@artema.]

@@abdianalysis6541 even chromosomal sex isn't strictly male or female so why should gender be?

[@abdianalysis6541]

@@artema. yo listen this is the problem with today ppl make these bs names and add sexual at the end to make it a thing and they get backed up by the most bs scientist saying someshit like err yea thats totally real

[@artema.]

@@abdianalysis6541 you're confusing sexuality with gender now. when you go beyond middle school biology, like when you're studying medicine of biomedics like me, you learn about the different combinations sex chromosomes can take. sex chromosomes aren't only xx or xy. this is real science and can't be disproven.

[@aafris]

I have no clue what is happening here. None. But I wish everyone well.

[@STRcircaFKR]

❤

[@jackholy581]

@@EUSF76 Lol unless you identify as something other than human... in which case you're allowed and people must respect you as that

[@thesniper3350]

😂😂😂😂 on god

[@Jsuazzo]

Lmao

[@capitalTD]

Honestly, same.

[@nawi23]

you can always wear whatever you want, even if you are binary !!!

[@Sarahizkl]

@V S You realise if there's no such thing as binary then there cant be such a thing as non binary...

[@user-ws1bj4pu5r]

010101010100011110101

[@blobsej]

@V S There is.

[@buster3041]

What a shocker right? Crossdressers are a thing yet they get ignored.

[@johno4521]

You can identify as whatever you want, just don't expect me to join in your game.

[@norgegonzalez16]

This makes no sense

[@ew374]

True. Because it is. It makes no sense, because it’s non-sense.

[@belle326]

I think the fact that 99% of their choice of identity is directly related to their fashion sense says that society failed by falsy associating gender with appearance, and being intolerant towards anyone that may express interest and passion in the other gender's style and beauty concept. we've misgendered objects and trends, not people.

[@perctalk422]

@@Prombl we do they just said their experiences

[@hatredisvengeance5777]

Thanking

[@belle326]

@@Prombl How exactly? I watched this video because I DON'T have a bias, I love making my mind after listening to people carefully, and even in my comment I didn't judge them, but society as a whole. I really didn't assume anything, they were saying it pretty clearly imo. one of them literally said they are non-binary because they can wake up in the morning and spike their hair, which sounds kinda ridiculous to me. I didn't assume that, it was said. they were chosen to represent the non-binary in this video, and they all collectively represented it that way. also, I don't think its by chance that (almost) every non-binary person has a very unique unconventional fashion sense. this choice of identity is very clearly a way to avoid society's shitty expectations placed upon you by your gender. I get it, I just don't think its the right mentality against that.

[@cisstudent9796]

If a dress is designed for someone with B-C cup breasts. It's designed for a woman. If a man wears that dress he is just weirdo.

[@vicsound8207]

I definitely recommend you thinking about what it means to be oneself in a society of consumerism. There are many authors, from Foucault to Sossa Rojas (the first was french, the second is Spanish, I think? Not sure) that imply that there is no such thing as a subject prior to their attachments. What it means is: your environment is not a product of your personality, your personality is the product of your environment. In this case: you do not wear the clothes you do because you are you, you are you because of the clothes you were, these items make you who you are and take it to series or music you like, people you see, and stuff. Not trying to give you a history or society lesson, but I hope you can think something out of this.

[@FightsRightsAlways]

My best friend came out as non binary a couple of days ago and I came here trying to understand things. This video just made it 5x more confusing.

[@JohnWick-ob2cp]

Bro trust me. They don't even know what the hell they're talking abt

[@ShiruSama1]

It's a bad video. They might be non-binary, but what they are talking about is mainly gender non-conformity, which is a different thing that doesn't make you trans. Social gender dysphoria is what makes you trans, that is, feeling uncomfortable when being assigned a gender. Not as in "you should buy this thing because it's pink and you're a girl" but in simply being called "Miss"

[@JohnWick-ob2cp]

@@ShiruSama1 I don't understand. What does being non-binary even mean? It is even possible to feel neither masculine nor feminine?

[@jaya.d-gauthier1644]

Don’t. It’s fake and not LGBT. I love me a trip to Marshalls. No one has stopped me and said STAY ON YOUR SIDE. so idk how these people got lumped up with us when none of us know what the hell they’re talking about

[@ShiruSama1]

@@JohnWick-ob2cp It's possible and it happens. Gender identity is developed on our first years of life, 2-7 depending on the source. On those years, we _instinctively_ identify with one sex/gender - our dad's/brother's/male friend's one, or our mom's/sister's/female friend's one. Most times it is the same we've been physically born with, but sometimes is the opposite. And sometimes, it's neither. You simply internalise neither apply to you, and it's not about the gender roles "I don't understand why girls should do these things and boys these other things" but more like "I don't understand why I should be a boy or a girl". If you're a man and I tell you to call yourself a woman from today on, it will feel wrong even if you don't change your behaviour and hobbies. It will feel wrong when people call you Miss or tell you you should go to the female toilet - that profound feeling is (social) gender dysphoria. Binary trans people feel that towards their assigned gender. Non-binary people feel that towards both. There's a interview video on this by Anthony Padilla and I think they explain it a little bit better than the people in this video

[@John_Dusty]

I was looking for coding tutorials. I’m not upset just confused.

[@ecat4789]

Welcome

[@eggy2396]

the keyword was probably “binary” right?

[@kaajalmaharaj6802]

This made me laugh lmao

[@xandypunk7350]

LoL

[@toriless]

10010101

[@seaweedbrain4127]

i think these might have been the bullies in school who would call a girl a boy for not wearing make-up or a boy a girl for playing with barbies.

[@williamgibson4919]

For people who reject society's archetypes for masculinity and femininity, these people have a pretty stereotypical view of what it means to be a man or a woman.

[@billyb4790]

Exactly. It’s like saying “I reject racism” but then to go on to say “Im Japanese because I love sushi and taking lots of pictures” 🤦‍♂️

[@khunchanawzad5360]

Shut up

[@l4zrh4wk]

Precisely. They never grew out of that edgy teenage phase.

[@Leon-gr2oo]

They dont know what they talk. They and maybe even you will talk bs like these roles where made up by society and culture. But thats so disgusting stupid, that people believe this bs. Culture can have a little impact in a very complex way not to explain in one or two sentences, but men and women have their roles for like million years. Just because we are living really different than 30.000 years ago doesnt mean we are new biology

[@oddish4352]

That's why I don't quite understand the concept of non-binary... while male, I exhibit a number of female-associated affectations (collections, hobbies, etc). But it doesn't mean I don't consider myself male. I most assuredly do. There's a lovely book I read once, called "William's Doll", about a boy who wants (and ultimately receives) a doll to play with. William is not transgender, nor is he non-binary. He simply non-conforming.

[@Berlinerundso]

What I am wondering: If being non-binary means you cannot identify with being male/female, because of the societal norms of what it means to be male/female. Aren't you a part of confirming these social norms by fleeing to be non-binary instead of just changing the social norms and saying just because I am biologically male/female doesn't mean I'm this/that? If you categorise yourself, but say you hope the future will be less categorizing, then aren't you a part that it's moving backwards and people having an even tighter idea of gender-categories? I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means being Non-binary these days. I‘d like to hear proper philosophical talks about it. I mean well. I want to understand it and discuss without being disrespectful to anyone.

[@SouljaMan]

Exactly. Goes completely against what they’re saying. Low IQ

[@AlvaroYamagami]

I think it's that kind of stereotype that doesn't want to be identified as any other stereotype and thereby creates another stereotype instead

[@Berlinerundso]

@@SouljaMan I think it‘s a bit easy to just say „Low IQ“ or call people mean things. That‘s not the way to a real conversation about this imo.

[@SouljaMan]

@@Berlinerundso wasn’t trying to have a conversation with anyone. That was one comment.

[@SouljaMan]

@@Berlinerundso just cuz they want to wear something one day doesn’t mean they have to change genders cuz it fits into one stereotype. That’s sexist.

[@tdb1726]

I'm confused. Can't you be a biological man/woman and just wear/act however you want? I can still refer to you as he/she in conversation for simplicity and clarity but you can wear whatever you want and act however you want. You can be a literal man but not have to act like a conventional man according to traditional roles.

[@chaoswithfelix2376]

tdb1726 I know it’s confusing the way some of them explained it. There are many men and women who don’t follow societal gender roles but the difference is they feel comfortable identifying as man or female. Those who are non-binary or on the trans spectrum don’t feel comfortable with the pronouns of their biological sex.

[@chaoswithfelix2376]

Alaina Howard Does that mean you’re non-binary? I’m sorry for asking but I’m struggling with my gender identity and I don’t feel comfortable with the stereotypes expected for my gender either, however, I don’t know if that has to do with gender expression or?

[@AirFire18]

Don't confuse SEX and Gender as the same thing. Sex is biological, while gender is the identification of femininity and masculinity. When you fall in between, some identity as non-binary

[@quinnratliff8420]

@@AirFire18 YES.

[@MercurialMoon]

I think they didnt really explain it well but I can't explain it either bc im cis lol but i think... just try to imagine explain what does being a girl/boy mean to you to someone???? It would be pretty hard and I don't think anyone could explain it well... and obviously there's a difference between a girl and a boy other than just sex chromosomes and stereotypes... but we can't say exactly what it is... so I guess the same applies to non-binary people? I don't think being non-binary is just wearing both female and male clothes and things like that... they probably just couldn't really explain it well... gender is really confusing

[@indakut]

I identify as nothing I'm not even here

[@duravis0065]

a lot of them seem to be focusing on the external appearance of being non binary and trying to merge gender expression and gender identity into one, when that’s not really something you can do. identifying as non binary is something that’s done 100% internally. however you can choose to dress and express yourself however you want as a non binary person, just as you are allowed as a cis or trans person. keep in mind that nonbinary people aren’t just “girls with short hair” or “men wearing lipstick”. there is nowhere that says non binary people have to appear androgynous, nor must they conform to both feminine and masculine traits or neither at all. the point of identifying as non binary is because you don’t fit into those neatly-divided roles in the first place. at the end of the day, we identify with the labels that feel most comfortable to us, because we know our own minds better than anybody else. please keep your own mind open, as well. i think you’ll find things to be much clearer and overall optimistic, if you do.

[@yeoman2k1]

I still struggling to understand... I'm pleased you've pointed out the difference of gender expression... But because that's what I was going by to understand enbism... I'm kinda back at the start. Please help xx

[@Iris_2504]

@@yeoman2k1 1. gender doesnt determine what you have to look like ( thats just toxic society ppl should wear whatever they want ) 2. Nonbinary is not feeling as male and also not as female, you are neither 3. Just because someone is nonbinary doesn't mean they can't wear a dress for example :p 4. These people don't feel like a girl or a boy 5. just fyi you can be a guy adn wear dresses and still identify as male 6. Nonbinary people don't HAVE to look androgynous to BE nonbinary i hope i helped a little :P have a nice day!!!

[@yeoman2k1]

@@Iris_2504 not really! 😝

[@yeoman2k1]

@@Iris_2504 all just sounds like GNC. but it doesn't explaine NB and the difference

[@yeoman2k1]

@@Iris_2504 how would a person not feel either male or female?? I feel like I have female soul... But in a kinda mother earth in within me kinda way 💁‍♂️. But how do you feel non male or non female? Not using gender norms or expression or masculine or feminine traits. How do you define it?? X

[@maryriemer0225]

I had never heard of non-binary until today. Without trying to sound rude, I'm literally trying to understand all of this but I'm more confused. (edit 10-14-20) I would just like to thank everyone who gave me their time to explain what non binary means to them. We live in rough times and 2020 has been a year I will never forget. I hope and pray that 2021 will bring us all more enjoyment and comfort.

[@Nita-n4d]

They make this stuff up overnight....

[@adamrodriguez7553]

@@Nita-n4d Good comeback but next time try not liking your own comment 😅

[@Nita-n4d]

@@adamrodriguez7553 try kissing my ass.. stop seeking attention... thats the thing learn to like yourself !! Stop looking for the world's acceptance

[@adamrodriguez7553]

@@Nita-n4d Lol, you know tf you are saying? Non-binary people identify as that for their own acceptance(learning to like themselves) and not for others acceptance which clearly isn't coming from your 9 yo ass. Congrats you've just outplayed yourself

[@Nita-n4d]

@@adamrodriguez7553 your gay and trying to reach for some more ahit to cry over..gtfoh

[@doaasabila1202]

Imagine thinking you're so progressive but you still believe in old gender roles

[@GrilledCheese_Master]

I love your pfp

[@TheLittleColumbus]

Being progressive means you have empathy for those different than you but it doesnt mean you gotta believe everything they throw at u

[@misspandarific]

This!!! Exactly what i think as well, surely its more progressive to say im a woman who can wear and act how i like or im a man who can also act and dress how i like without being tied down to gender stereotypes. By saying im not a man cos i like a frilly shirt you are affirming the idea of gender stereotypes made up years ago. Bowie wore make up and never denied himself being a man, thats more progressive than a man wearing a dress saying he is not a man.

[@isaac-ck6jp]

@KStar wow, you really are dumb, you just contradicted yourself 🤐 also, to think there are more than 2 genders is insanity!

[@shashwattripathi2927]

but the concepts of masculinity and femininity are everywhere. they're hard to avoid, we cant pretend that they dont exist because they do affect us and our behaviour. ive seen it happen to me, and i had to do some self reflection to figure our where i got it from. these are just people whove chosen to reject both genders because they dont like either for themselves. it makes sense

[@_Sakidora_]

If it means different things to different people then it has no real meaning.

[@donnabendell7688]

Totally with you on this.

[@LukeFerg117]

Anyone else think these people are massively sexist? To think a man that wears make up cant therefore be a man, or a woman that likes beer and cars must be a bloke?? This is so stereotypical

[@KodaLeck]

They are yes yet they say they're just being different yah different in a dumb sexist way,grow up and think people of you go by people what next say oh I'm not human

[@doaasabila1202]

exactly, they think they're progressive but they're just regressive with extra steps

[@azusa004]

Let them be a person for God's sake why are you so criticizing?!

[@Xavier-kq9hp]

They want to be open minded but only think through stereotypes and gender roles its self contradicting

[@toriless]

Only real women drink beer. If she does not then move on.

[@wesley7846]

What I don’t understand is why you have to identify as non binary to fully express yourself

[@ChandraGunawan-p8w]

Same Question Tho

[@croutonic3324]

For me, I’m just uncomfortable when people refer to me by what they think is in my pants. I’d much rather be called a “they” than a he or a she... it’s just more comfortable.

[@croutonic3324]

@@burntburgies9801 lmao ok language expert "hey I wonder who lost this water bottle, let me put it in the lost-and-found for them" "omg what a cute baby! what's their name?" "who directed this movie? their dialogue is so funny!"

[@AL-eu8ro]

@@croutonic3324 when refferring to a group of people you also use they and them

[@croutonic3324]

@@burntburgies9801 lmao how is this so confusing for u

[@Ainator_]

They are literally explaining they are non confirming to gender roles and stereotypes

[@xorbyc8149]

That would mean that the majority of the population is non-binary

[@monikamatas9340]

Go off

[@badbanana5164]

@9ts6d 6d85z I think that's the point of the comment, and the reason the vast majority of people, that are not trans-haters (like me) that don't understand the need for pronouns outside of he and she. Most people have interest that are traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine, and that is fine. I for one want to try knitting, which is what society thinks is something grandmas do. That doesn't instantly make me a woman, even though it's a woman dominated hobby. You can still be a woman and love to watch football, a traditionally male dominated hobby. What I see in most of these trans/non-binary videos is that the same people advocating for us to get rid of gender norms are the same people that get gender reassignment surgeries and have their names and pronouns changed to conform to the gender they wish to appear as. This is the perfect example of the phrase "actions speak louder than words." They are saying one thing (Which in this case is getting rid of gender norms) and doing another (actively trying to present themselves as the opposite gender). Doing things like that makes you look foolish. It's like a person saying, I'm really strapped for cash, but you see them in Gucci. You want to feel bad for them, but they're actions make me not believe what's coming from their mouth.

[@xorbyc8149]

@@badbanana5164 that's actually what I meant, I'd only like to add that i think tak some people can be really non-binary but that would be aiming in not having any masculine or feminine sex traits, at least that's what I heard from someone ( btw I don't know if that sentence is correct, Im not a native English speaker) Regardless of that most of the people who call themselves non binaries are just wanting to make not sticking to gender norms their unique personality trait what's sort of offensive to trans and cis people.

[@badbanana5164]

@@xorbyc8149 Okay so we agree. Tone gets lost in translation, I guess. And I agree with your point about making it a personality trait, it seems like they don't have anything else to show which is why I don't like the loud representatives that have in the media. Also it's cool you know two languages.

[@nowaynottoday]

I don't identify with paying income taxes

[@blackpanther8724]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@bastetcat33]

you can reject the gender roles but rejecting the "gender" ? I don't understand..

[@Feisenbach]

@A.Z. It isn't.

[@marcosantos3381]

Delusion

[@AirFire18]

Its not rejection, its how you feel. So, here is the case. You can be non binary and be straight. So, a man could totally look and act gay and not be gay. why? Because he isn't locked into the male (masculinity) role. It embraces both masculine and feminity through his expression and ideas.

[@Feisenbach]

@@AirFire18 Yet he's still male. Why complicate something SO simple?

[@bastetcat33]

@@AirFire18 They can embrace both their femininity and masculinity through their expression and ideas while accepting their gender. Gender roles, feeling male or female is not just about feeling feminine or masculine. They can still be a female while being masculine. and Visa versa.

[@doubtingmustafa]

“As soon as I leave New York, people are calling me man.” The horror.

[@THE-NC2]

To them its torture, but to you its a joke.

[@lemontree6686]

@@THE-NC2 therapy and pills will solve the problem. It's not ours btw..

[@justbrowsingleavemealone1581]

123MRFRIENDZONED How are others supposed to know how these people identify? W

[@carnalea2424]

In England, we often call males - and females - 'mate.' As in, ' How are you, mate?'

[@mindofafangirl2224]

i thought they said "people are calling me ma'am"?

[@jjjjoo5692]

“I like to wear makeup so I’m not a man” it sounds just so sexist...

[@supersaiandemon]

@V S society made it sexist.

[@supersaiandemon]

A lot of men refuse to wear makeup because they do not want to seem gay. Trust me, society made it sexist, not the commenter.

[@jjjjoo5692]

@@supersaiandemon of course society made it sexist. I’m not blaming the commenter, I’m just saying it reflects on him/them

[@m_d1905]

Funny thing make up WAS a male thing in the past, just like high heels.

[@1232-e7b]

According to this logic, women aren’t real women unless they wear makeup

[@unfriendlyreminder5980]

Five narcissists explain what non-binary means to people who live in La La Land.

[@amphibiousanimations7721]

It’s more narcissistic to dismiss someone else’s lived experience and claim to know a person better than they do than it is to identify as non binary

[@goat2503]

I remember saying in 2010, I miss the 90s, now in 2023, I miss 2010. What happened to society? It’s a biological fact, your interests, your desires, your fashion sense, your demeanour and your disposition have absolutely no effect on your biology. There is no such thing as non binary, it’s a figment of imagination. I truly worry that there are clearly not enough real problems for these people so they overthink everything. But that’s what happens when you’re raised by a device instead of a human being.

[@MrMattMohler]

Sounds like, "just being you..." to me... You're not a woman, you're not a man, just be you and don't put so much pressure into what others are going to say. Just be you.

[@oats7924]

I love that message.

[@haagendazs77]

Exactly you don't have to create 10k gender to prove others peoples that your different, just be yourself... The way things go nowadays sound really weird to me.

[@MrMattMohler]

@@haagendazs77 It's not ment for us to make sense of it. I guess we are not cool enough...

[@starsasmirrors]

yes. they are being themselves by being non binary, whys it such a big deal? cis people are so ignorant lol

[@MrMattMohler]

@@starsasmirrors As a sis man, I'm offended! (Lol)...

[@simplystar3748]

Why are you putting a label on it just call it being yourself

[@jerribeary813]

EXACTLY!

[@kathrynevandette8306]

The terms male and female is just a way to differentiate the anatomy of the body . They don’t want to be in a box that tells them you are this so you must act ,feel ,look and wear this . But instead of just being free and saying I’m just going to be who I am , they put them self in another box of this is non binary and this is what it is . It’s sort of contradicting of not wanting to identify as anything . But I understand in this society we need those labels to find support and raise awareness so people feel they’re not alone. And that they are apart of the society and not just a outcast and could be excepted .

[@farawaydownsable]

Labels are so that we can find each other. My grandmother always use to say "There should be something in-between a man and a woman" but lived in a rural town and none of her kids or anyone knew what she meant by it. Now that we have a label and language and internet we can connect with one another and share experiences and realize we aren't alone in that. Labels keep people from being isolated. If the label you were given as "man" or "woman" has always fit you, then you can't know what it is to not have that sense of community around your gender. Why do we have Men's clubs and women's clubs and all these spaces for genders - why can't everyone just be themselves and hang out together? Because our experiences are different and sometimes it is nice to hang around and talk about that. Find me a man or a woman who has not ever labelled themselves as a man or a woman and identified strongly with that label? Why do you think non-binary people don't deserve to know their label and find the same sense of community?

[@cienmcqueen2999]

I'm happy you can be yourself! Being yourself is easier said than done though for some people. I tried, I really did try, to just be a cisgender woman but I had anxiety that poked at my looks. The moment I tried on nonbinary, my anxiety went away. Never have I fathomed that my anxiety was deeply rooted in my concept of gender.

[@stev6963]

1000% this

[@mrtjwitdabs6949]

okay i know this sounds crazy but hear me out. what if i told you that you can express yourself different ways while being one gender?

[@OneFinalAutumn]

They just feel the need to be different. Usually that's a phase people get over during their childhood. Gender is such a concrete identifier, it's not like sexuality, which can be a spectrum.

[@Rolan7196]

You mean that gender is a social construct that changes from decade to decade and between cultures? That's pretty cool. I guess it doesn't matter if I ignore the most common two modern fashions and do my own thing.

[@Laura-Yu]

@@Rolan7196 Woman = female human, man = male human, that itself doesn't change. But sure, outfits associate with man/woman changes

[@Rolan7196]

​@@Laura-Yu That's encouraging! And some modern outfits are very androgynous, right? So what I'm going to do is wear what I want to, and you can wear what you want to. It's really that simple- nothing in my genes or pants is any of your business, or vice versa. That's only important for people I'm dating. I'll also address you by whatever your name is because that's just basic respect for a stranger. I obviously don't expect that in return, but maybe I'm pessimistic!

[@seronimo__7735]

You can. Being nonbinary goes deeper than your clothes. Something this Tinder video failed to communicate. (Mother of God, why does the most popular video on being nonbinary have to be from a s**tty dating app?)

[@rach101]

This takes “If you can’t convince them, confuse them” to a whole new level. For someone who claims to have no gender, they know all about what male and female gender roles are while how they are free from all that.

[@dark-killer1744]

Since I now identify as nonexistent - I'm no longer paying my taxes.

[@jamelsimon1493]

😄😄

[@Necrodzentelmenel1]

I literally pissed my pants laughing at this hilarious and original joke.

[@nancywoodward3538]

Lol the hardway

[@kingrakim6351]

😂😂😂

[@alorimoreno6293]

FUCK LMAOOOOO

[@deedolce04]

As an enby, this video COMPLETELY got the definition of nonbinary wrong. Gender is NOT based on clothing. You can be masc or femme presenting and be nonbinary, and you can be GNC and still be a binary gender. Being nonbinary isn't just wearing funky clothing. It's about how you feel, not how you present.

[@noodlefishes]

Exactly!!

[@hajrah5535]

could you please explain then? what does it feel like?

[@deedolce04]

@@hajrah5535 Nonbinary just means that you aren't entirely male or female. For some nonbinary people, they may use clothing to express their gender, but their clothing does not define their gender. This video implies that dressing in a nonconforming way is the same thing as being nonbinary.

[@Bitholeous]

@@deedolce04 i don't think the video implied that tho

[@TrackerNeil]

@@deedolce04 Do you mean male or female in a biological sense, or man or woman in a social sense?

[@danielleon1396]

So it’s all about fashion? That’s what I got from this

[@Alacatraba]

Yeah... The video it's a little bit confusing but it's not about fashion at all. 🐌 It's about living with out male and female gender barriers.

[@julld8745]

what gender barriers? And if a girl who dressups like boy She is a tomboy.

[@MsDudette21]

lol pretty much. why is that nonbinary people dress as the opposite sex they are despite saying they are neither sex? it's so insanely stupid. we rly have grown adults saying they aren't male or female cuz they aren't all that masculine or feminine.

[@MsDudette21]

@@rat-wc7wj I didn't say they were. But dressing differently or having different personality traits doesnt mean you arent a gender. You're just a nontraditional male/female. Idk where Jessica came from

[@rat-wc7wj]

@@MsDudette21 sorry i replied to the wrong comment lol

[@kevino4372]

Had to laugh out loud when they said " heres where it gets complicated". Oh NOW it gets complicated?? 🤣🤣🤣...was mince from the beginning lol

[@bathwater3380]

Ah did we forget about personality not being the same as gender?

[@boyo3446]

Clearly. Since when did being feminine not make you a biological man? Or vice versa with a masculine woman? Have they forgotten tomboys and tomgirls exist? Or is that just a thing of the past now because it "invalidates" whatever odd "identity" they think they have.

[@erica892]

@@boyo3446 Non-binary people like transgender people experience some sort of dysphoria with their bodies, pronouns or names. It is all these situations where you spot in yourself something that bothers you, surprises you and confronts you with a truth, unsuspected or refused by your being. This is not just a matter of gender stereotype but rather; the way people feel more comfortable being called and perceived as the identity they see themselves.

[@boyo3446]

@@erica892 PHENOME NON What? How? Pronouns and names are social concepts, same with gender stereotypes. It is most certainly about gender stereotypes because if gender stereotypes didn't exist, you wouldn't have to worry about "not looking man or woman" and to look and "feel" more "non-binary". You say it's some sort of "dysphoria," which if said "dysphoria" were to exist, it'd be psychological. Not biological, like your gender (don't even get me started on "but gender and sex are different", they aren't, they are words that are synonymous to each other. Sex is an outdated term, and we now call it gender). Also, if they felt discomfort about their body, wouldn't that just be body dysmorphia? Anyway, I can get if you wanna be special and label yourself something unique, fine by me if that makes you comfortable. But to call yourself some sort of "non-binary" or "other gender"? What's the limits of "non-binary?" You can't just have an infinite amount of genders, that's ridiculous. You're begging for attention at this point.

[@lx_cube]

@@boyo3446 The majority of the non-binary community don't believe that they're "special snowflakes". Their emotions are genuine so I don't understand why you're talking down to them. Also your point about dysmorphia, the latter "dysphoria" as you said is comes from the person's mind. It brings them discomfort in their own body and the spectrum of this discomfort can vary. By just looking at someone, nothing looks wrong but the person feels wrong. Like the person's body doesn't match up with how it looks in their head. And I don't mean "oh yeah I should hit the gym" kind of vision of the person's body, but of the way it's constructed in terms of their assigned gender at birth.

[@allisontallantmcculley1047]

@Sacha Barbie gender is a social construct (that's coming from sociologists with PhDs and who have dedicated their lives to that field). Gender is the idea of how biological men and women should act and look. From a young age we are taught boys like blue, girls like pink, boys like action figures, girls like barbie dolls, boys have short hair, girls have long hair. Stuff like that. Gender is often determined by how society as a whole fews the two biological sexes. Gender and sex are different because sex is determined by chromosomes. Gender is a really difficult thing to understand especially once you get into transgender and gender nonbinary but the simplest definition is that it is a social construct. Hope that helps!

[@iDontCareAtAllllllll]

I never wake up in the morning and feel like a woman even though I am. I don’t even think about it, it doesnt cross my mind. I don’t feel a societal pressure to be a strict definition of female I don’t feel there is one in the west. I feel I can wear what I want and do my make up how I like. I don’t care that much about fashion. I wear and do whatever makes me feel like me not a woman. I still don’t understand non binary?? I feel they are putting all of these restrictions into the terms male and female.

[@AmazinglyAwkward]

I like this. People should, and many do as yourself, not care about how they express themselves, whether thats through speech, clothes, hairstyles whatever.

[@camiollivier1694]

They are putting restrictions on male and female. They think they're progressive but they're still basing about their personality on rigid gender stereotypes

[@incharak1927]

Same

[@calfeldman8553]

The idea is that gender is whatever you want it to be.

[@aleksandrzherman-smythe6264]

There really is no explanation for 'non-binary identity'. I try to read about it, watch videos like this, since I fundamentally don't understand it. Yet all these explanations are based on cosmetics, aesthetics and fashion. Pure surface-level, it's the ultimate consumerist philosophy, buy a new identity for every day of the week.

[@edgara.4902]

This video was helpful to me on non binary people kzbin.info/www/bejne/anLZqol9otWhqpI

[@mryellow4633]

Yeah, a lot of it bothered me, but to each there own. My issue came from them saying non-binary meant they were not male or female, but your sex and your gender are two completely different things. To me, it would’ve been more accurate if they had said you are not either masculine or feminine, rather those concepts of masculinity and femininity are illusions societal pressures and you don’t have to conform

[@mocotojam6767]

I think is not emulating a gender, at all. They are saying that they don't identify with female nor male, that's it. The same way that in the attraction field, there are people are attracted to both genders or not attracted to none at all. I feel like they were explaining how they express themselves more than how they actually feel, that's why it seems like they are only talking fashion

[@skeletonsrcool4011]

Aline Coutinho yes! This really is just about expression, if you want more info on what it is to be non-binary, it would be better to look for stories of people and their experiences with dysphoria and (for those who can do/choose to do) medical transitioning, (yes enby people can and do medically transition). Being non-binary can include gender presentation, which does include clothes, or it doesn’t have to. Some enby people wear skirts and dresses. They are still non-binary because they still aren’t a woman. A non-binary person can wear a suit and tie because that still aren’t a man. I’d just say to look at other resources for those wanting to learn, this wasn’t the best video for education.

[@xz740]

It’s just narcissistic sexism.

[@kathleendiane9403]

binary code, code used in digital computers, based on a binary number system in which there are only two possible states, off and on, usually symbolized by 0 and 1. Whereas in a decimal system, which employs 10 digits, each digit position represents a power of 10 (100, 1,000, etc.), in a binary system each digit position represents a power of 2 (4, 8, 16, etc.). A binary code signal is a series of electrical pulses that represent numbers, characters, and operations to be performed. A device called a clock sends out regular pulses, and components such as transistors switch on (1) or off (0)

[@1dimtim]

so whats your point???

[@thetwistedchild]

I'm not non-binary I'm just binary code man. 😎😭😭😭💀💀/j

[@insektuo]

Underrated comment. For those who can read between the 1s and 0s

[@XavierAway]

None of them are non-binary, they just resent the expectations associated with their assumed gender

[@Alacatraba]

I think that is exactly what this is all about. Our society its divided in two main genders full of expectations, prejudices, and characteristics that we assigned to one, or both of that genders. Non binary is a gender in which this doesn't exist. Because you are not a men o a woman. You are simply you. And you are free of social gender barriers.

[@toxic1leven254]

@JohnnyRotten same i agree

[@f0x134]

Who are you to tell them what they are? These people know who they are and they know themselves, it’s not just about the clothes or expectations. It’s a lot deeper than that.

[@toxic1leven254]

@@f0x134 what u wrote was cringe

[@f0x134]

@@toxic1leven254 You gonna cry about it?💀💀

[@juanporta1134]

7:09 you say that we need to stop categorizing, but you do the same exact thing

[@TheHmd11]

These folks are stupid just dont waste ur time

[@falunnaomi8306]

Juan Pablo exactlyyyyy!

[@falunnaomi8306]

hirman 11 their so stupid🤦🏾‍♀️

[@ricardohendricks3939]

@@TheHmd11 well fucking said

[@Kornknealious]

Juan Pablo! exactly.

[@tl566]

I think life would be a lot easier if we all just greeted rooms of people with "avast ye scurvy lads" Edit: Before you get smart about the gendering of "lad", Google dictionary says that in ye olde British, lad can mean a stable worker *regardless of age or sex*. Something to consider before you start ruining a joke.

[@isaacclifford-jones612]

PLEASE-

[@rosebud6116]

But what if its formal

[@tl566]

@@rosebud6116 Then it's "Hark, those whom have contracted an antiquated, Victorian era sea farer's disease "

[@rosebud6116]

@@tl566 Yeahhhhh!!!!

[@Toinkity]

They'd be offended with the word "lad"

[@andrewade25]

Just curious as to why I’ve never seen a person who looks like Brock Lesnar describing himself as nonbinary?

[@Nickersons-Theme]

Although have you seen his daughter? She could nearly pass as a man 😂

[@andrewade25]

Very true.

[@OtherSideProduction1]

They’re…..they’re just describing having a personality. You can be a chick and still want a dude haircut and vice versa.

[@diidilara8475]

yep

[@chumbucket6989]

sure and you can also be nonbinary and want a dude haircut

[@dannyspoons]

as someone that is nonbinary (this can mean different things for different people but for me it means agender, which means i don't have a gender) i can see why you'd see it that way honestly. but trust me, that's not what the nonbinary experience is. it's not just about how you want to present yourself, although it may seem that way on the surface. like, i really like having what would be considered a "dude haircut" and presenting more androgynous, but that's not what makes me nonbinary. it's about WHO you are, not how you look. i truly don't feel connected to any gender identity, and believe me, i've tried to be. but that's just not who i am. i literally feel nothing when i think about what my gender is. it's just non-existent for me. what i'm trying to say is, it's not about personality. it's just about how someone connects or doesn't connect to the concept of gender, you know? i know i wrote a lot here, sorry about that haha. but that's the best way that i can explain it. (and i also wanted to note that it's totally not okay to completely understand everything. i totally get why this can be really confusing)

[@diidilara8475]

@@dannyspoons Yeah, but do you feel comfortable in your sex characteristics/your female/male body? or are you gender dysphoric? Because nothing other than eg a female body should make you "feel" like a woman, unless you have dysphoria, because that's something you can biologically measure and transitioning helps these people. Nothing makes me feel like a woman or should make me feel like a woman, I just am one because I have a female body lol. The rest is just connecting being a woman or man to some sort of imagery or roles, to a feeling, most don't fully suit. Gender in itself is a pretty sexist construct that only solidifies if you use it as reasoning instead of trying to abolish it, because if gender doesn't exist we can literally be or express ourselves how we want with no correlation to our bodies. The only thing making you a woman or man is just well, having a female/male body. And this shouldn't be considered transphobic, because the reason many transsexuals transition is literally because they want to adjust their body to a womans/men's body. A feeling of belonging to none of the woman or man imagery is quite literally a personality, unless you don't feel that your body with its characteristics belongs to you and wish to have a some sort of "sexless" body with no characteristics of each sex

[@dannyspoons]

@@diidilara8475 for me, it's less about how i see my body but how others see it. i personally like my body, but i've always felt uncomfortable with people using the pronouns i was born with or interpreting my gender wrong based on how i look. i never really understood why until i got older and learned more about what nonbinary means. i guess you can think of it this way; a cis person, let's say a cis woman for this example, knows that she's a woman just because that's what feels right. she likes being referred to as a woman and being perceived by others as a woman. and if someone perceived her as a man, then it obviously wouldn't feel right because she knows she's not a man. for me, i don't like being seen as a man or a woman. both of them don't feel right. it really has nothing to do with how you present on the outside, though. it may influence it, sure. but it's not your personality that makes you nonbinary. and i do agree that gender is a sexist construct, which is why i don't care to pick a gender if i feel that one doesn't apply to me. and i'm also not denying that i have a biological sex (i know you didn't accuse me of saying that, i'm just saying this to further explain something) everyone does. but i also acknowledge that biological sex and gender are different, one being reproductive parts and the other being your personal gender identity. about the abolishing gender thing, no one's trying to abolish gender. cis people and binary trans people have the right to be who they are because that's just the morally right thing. gender is still very real and important to a lot of people's identities. lol i don't care what other people's genders are. it's just not something that applies to me personally.

[@russoswerve7856]

I actually know even less about “binary” now than I did before I spent 7 minutes being open minded

[@rashadallen9299]

They all sound as confused as I am trying to understand it

[@seronimo__7735]

@@p.ccarbec6261 We're not confused. This video is just bad. Let me try to do what this video apparently couldn't and actually explain this s**t. Every nonbinary experience is different. But for me, look at this way. Imagine living in a small rural town (maybe in a different time period), and being the son of the only baker in town. Your father makes good money baking bread, and is training you to inherit his bakery. Baking is theoretically not a hard job, and you think it should be easy to learn. However, you just suck at it for some reason. Every time you try to make bread for customers, you burn it or mess it up in some way, and you constantly get scolded by customers. Your father might be supportive, and tell you to learn at your own pace. And you know that in the end, you're gonna inherit his bakery no matter how good or bad of a baker you are; and since it's the only bakery in town, people will always buy your bread. But you can't do it. You can't bear being scolded by customers, and feeling like you're bad at what you do. So one day, in your early 20s, you tell your father you're leaving. You can't stand working at the bakery any more, and he should just let someone else inherit it. You go off on your own. For a while, you wander around, and travel between towns. Eventually, you find a crappy job sweeping the floors in a rich person's house. You get underpaid and treated terribly. But you're good at it. You can sweep faster than anyone else could, and you find the work...satisfying. You don't like it, of course, but you feel like you can do the job well, unlike baking. You get praised by your employer from time to time--and though it isn't frequent, you know the days of feeling like a crap worker are over. Conditions at your sweeping job, again, are bad, but maybe they'll get better someday. Maybe your employer will grow more sympathetic, or maybe labor laws will be passed. Can't count on it, but it's possible; more than you could say when trying to become a good baker. That's what it's like to be nonbinary, at least for me. I didn't just dislike being a man. I was bad at it. I couldn't live up to any of the "masculine" gender expectations in this society. I couldn't be competitive, or tough, or dominant. I wasn't emotionally independent; I needed friends to constantly share emotions with and to share them with me. I wanted to be nurturing. I craved physical affection from platonic friends. There were minor things I got flack for as well, such as covering my mouth while eating (I just wanted to be polite). And don't even get me started on "toxic" masculinity. Like it or not, I've gotten so much hostility throughout my life for not having any kind of "manliness." And eventually, I couldn't f**king stand it any more. So I just quit. Being nonbinary is really crappy, but maybe conditions will be better in the future. It's not about fashion for me. I do enjoy wearing feminine clothing, but for me it's a way of telling society, "Hey, I'm not a man. I'm not living up to your stupid gender expectations." Same thing regarding the pronouns I use; it's a way people'll instantly know I'm not a guy. Being a man didn't work for me, and I want to be able to communicate to society that I'm no longer one. But wait, you may say. If everyone who can't live up to gender expectations just quits, won't it reinforce said gender expectations? I don't know. But getting rid of gender expectations will take generations either way, and until then it's unfair to ask those of us who can't live up to them to suffer through it.

[@megandzoesmom6573]

@@Revirantless I feel like they are just needing attention.. the whole "look at meeee I'm specialllll" sad really...

[@Bowl427]

Exactly , I’m gay and even I do NOT consider myself part of the ignorant ass lgbtq+. It’s a community that arises when people have too much public freedom and time on their hands with no real struggle. Infinite genders lookin ass. We NEED to identify you, you’re born with an identity, age sex species nationality. You CANT change that. Get over it. They’re real differences between sexes . Pronouns are incorporated in the english language to identity you according to sex because every human in the world shares either 1 out of 2 sexes so it’s much simpler. Identity is not your damn personality you don’t express yourself with identity 😂 you do that with sexuality and accessories or hobbies.

[@cloudambient]

@@Revirantless I actually bet in the past they were not confused. It's only until recently have they been influenced and confused by these new concepts.

[@Lexking22]

But you are quite literally categorizing yourself by identifying as these things... so I dont understand how you can tell people to stop categorizing. This is all so confusing to me.

[@marioluigi9599]

Omg just please stop being so prejudiced. It's not hard. If it's not a she and not a he, then what are they? That's right! A "they"! Now do you get it? It's people who just don't want to acknowledge the gender of their body. That's all. Not even that hard and "confusing"... Unless you purposefully wanna make it a problem

[@Lexking22]

@@marioluigi9599 they still categorize themselves by saying they are non-binary. Categories are inevitable. Human is a category, animal is a category.

[@marioluigi9599]

@@Lexking22 Yeah so what? Can you stop getting hung up about the technicalities of it? You can just think of it as a category then. A category of people who won't acknowledge their body's gender because they feel different in the brain and therefore choose to dress "odd"

[@Lexking22]

@@marioluigi9599 you obviously don’t understand and I’m not going to waste time explaining to you✌🏻

[@marioluigi9599]

@@Lexking22 You obviously understand everything because you know better. I kneel in deference before you greatness

[@xaylius85]

Why are we all co signing this bullshit man. Its like when a snobby child wants a toy she sees behind the glass and screaming, "buy me that toy now!!!!!" And the parents go "ok ok honey whatever you say" like we are the parents to these delusional people. We are just doing whatever it is they deem so because we dont want them bitching....but the parents who pick up that child and spank them or nose in the corner discipline are teaching the child, just because you want something to be or to happen, doesnt mean it will...and thats what these people need in some way. ..in a loving way. They dont need to be told theyre idiots or name calling but i cannot co sign this bullshit anymore man

[@Blue8spiral]

"As a nonbinary person I can wear any length shorts I want." Um what? Is there a law I'm unaware of that says you can't? Your problem is with fashion, not gender lol ffs this is a new level of dumb.

[@veetree850]

Kitura Khan fashion is part of gender expression you sket

[@StockyDude]

Momma Steven Fashion doesn’t express gender. It just expresses that the individual prefers a certain fashion. In the traditional language rules, gender was defined by genital anatomy at birth. You idiots are inventing new definitions and forcing the rest of us to accept those new definitions. Why trade a simple system for gender identification for a more complicated one? To cater to people’s feelings? Your human rights are not violated just because people don’t want to play gender musical chairs with you. Grow the hell up.

[@Necrocracy]

Momma Steven i like wearing long jeans, what does that make me? Pls tell me, i’m really confused and i’m so special.

[@kiranbernard7214]

Yes there is a law created by this society, calling everyone dumb on the internet doesn't make you look smarter, you say i love you to your mom with that mouth?

[@kiranbernard7214]

a nonbinary person with a male body may like to wear very short shorts and feminine makeup, but their parents can disapprove of the way they wear clothes, thus it's very hard for them to dress like how they want especially in this heteronormative society.

[@AlvaroYamagami]

I’m failing to understand this. I’ve talked to several people about this and none of them could explain it. If you don’t feel any sexual attraction to any sex then you’re basically asexual. If you’re male (for example) how do you know you don’t FEEL like a female if you haven’t ever been female? I’m genuinely trying to understand this but it just makes no sense. 09.01.22 edit: thanks for the replies everyone, i'm not trying to understand this anymore because it makes me feel like I'm degrading.

[@randomantguy24]

Typically feeling more feminine when one is assigned male at birth is tied to identifying more with traditional feminine characteristics and I suppose stereotypes is the right word, and can also come down to gender dysphoria. Often times they will feel as if they were born into the wrong body and feel a distinct disconnect with their birth sex. Truth be told, there is little of a concrete and objective answer that will satisfy all, best I can say is that gender is deeply subjective and determined solely by the individual and their experience and or expression of themselves and their perception of themselves.

[@AlvaroYamagami]

Hmm but isn’t that related to hormones? Feeling as if you’re born in the wrong body is basically being transexual I think. The impression I got is that being non-binary isn’t necessarily biology related unlike sexual orientation like gay/lesbian but that’s where I get confused because I don’t get how can you not feel like a female or male if it’s not biology related when these are literally biological sexes. Isn’t that more of a social psychology thing? If it is, how is it related to lgbtq then? Lgbtq is more about SEXUAL minorities, not psychological stereotypes right I kinda agree that the gender can be subjectively chosen but at the same time people can choose to be anything. This wouldn’t be an issue if there were no practical issues like public bathrooms, adoption, etc.

[@randomantguy24]

@@AlvaroYamagami I suppose we don't have any other species to compare being non binary with, but then again, we aren't exactly like many other species. We're what's classed as an intelligent species and one of the implications of such is that we often act and experience emotions, ideas, thoughts, abstracts etc that aren't typical within 99% of other taxa. For example most species don't build cars or vote in elections, but we do, which is in my opinion why we've come to the stage of expanding upon understanding and expression of gender identity. There are those among us who do not experience themselves as either male, or female, and that they perhaps don't wish to present themselves or act in gendered ways that would worsen the feeling of disconnect or spring connotations of masculinity or femininity. Non binary indentities to vary however and it is certainly difficult to box them all in, which I personally think is a great thing, as it shows a great progression in our understanding of gender. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that we don't have a lot of ground to try and compare non binary identities with nature and other species as we are such a unique species ourselves in many fundamental ways.

[@randomantguy24]

@@AlvaroYamagami non binary relates heavily to the LGBTQIA+ as both gender and sexuality are areas of life that have been heavily explored and questioned. As attraction to the same gender or multiple genders became more and more realised within the individual, so did the stigma and social implications and even impacts. The same trend was to be observed with those who identified as the opposite sex and who experienced gender dysphoria. And so as rights were and even are being debated and stripped away for both gender and sexuality, the two do certainly tie in under the umbrella of the LGBTQIA+

[@hannah5012]

​@@AlvaroYamagami it's literally just about how you percieve yourself and how you want to be percieved - that's the gap you're missing. So someone who is non-binary or genderqueer might not feel discontent when they look at their naked body in a mirror (i.e the biology of anatomy) but they might feel upset, invalidated or otherwise useless if they are percieved to look like a woman or a man by people in the world. This is because the way they are being perceived outwardly isn't mirroring the way they percieve themselves inwardly. They might also reject their physical anatomy if it doesn't line up with how they percieve themselves in the mind, but it's not strictly necerssary. If you picture yourself in your mind's eye, or a imagine a fake conversation you might have, then you can get a grasp on how you perceive yourself. Is this imagined version of you a man, a woman, both or neither? That's really where the distinction between binary and non-binary gender identity is. If we use the common phrase of "identity" (i.e "I identify as non-binary") then we're talking about how someone relates to a certain topic, opinion or issue, and how they see themselves reflected in the words, ideas or thoughts that they see. In this sense, a non-binary person identifies this way because they witness thoughts, theory, opinion & information about non-binary or otherwise gender non-conforming individual's lives and in turn, recognise that they relate to those experiences, are envious of them or in some other sense connects with the perspective being shared. I hope this helps!

[@felipevillanueva1309]

The problems that you have when you have no problems.

[@Strega4646]

I agree. These people probay come from rich families. They dont ha e problems. So, they create one.

[@kimkaragiannis848]

It seems like it is a strong focus on self, which is in bible prophecy. Scripture says people will be lovers of self.

[@abdoonyt9049]

LMFAO FINALLY

[@person-yu8cu]

When bot commenters are trying to pit society against minorities, yes there is a problem.

[@Moody3863]

Luxury beliefs.

[@milicavuksanovic4219]

It's obvious what gender these people are, but they are changing their gender identity thinking they are challenging the social construct of gender and the traditional roles and norms when in fact they are supporting these definitions by thinking that fashion, makeup and the way you dress is what defines a man or a woman. It's no wonder why there is a lot of confusion around this topic when you never get an intelligent explanation from non-binary people. You can be a woman and have a unique physical expression, strong masculine traits and be sexually attracted to men and womenand still be a woman. You can also be a feminine man and do makeup, it will not change your gender. You can create your own identity and become your authentic self without having to change your gender.

[@JoeDirtisawsome]

"non binary is freedom from that whole game" but you dont have to create a new gender identity to wear what you want. Are they saying that drag queens arent men?

[@quinnratliff8420]

Clothes arent what makes people nonbinary. That guy was weird. Weird vibes from him.

[@Me-uy8st]

@A M. ok, we get it, ur hard right, calm down

[@aurionnegaston246]

NON BINARY HAS BEEN A THING FOR YEARS LOOK IT UP

[@overmorrow3907]

@A M. It's their words and how they view themselves. That doesn't necessarily mean that they're trying to force you to use pronouns that make them feel comfortable, however.

[@honeyboo9902]

@A M. lets look at anatomy and biology here. people are born with either male or female genitalia right? WRONG. some people are intersex, meaning they are biologically not a male or female. if people can be anatomically not male or female then people can also be socially not male or female.

[@yomamapie5807]

When you hit random on create character

[@diaco3798]

lmaooooo

[@Gospelx3J]

lmaooo

[@justanordinaryguy._.7399]

You killed me there

[@aantontube]

lmaaaaooooo

[@Venus.Y]

Imao this is the only one I can relate

[@dollylove3430]

I grew up with Prince, David Bowie, Queen, Linda Perry, Joan Jett, Cyndi Lauper, Adam Ant, Mick Jagger, Grace Jones, Peaches etc. #NoLabelsJustCool I feel like this is a political construct to divide us even more.

[@johnathin0061892]

Exactly what it is. Divide everyone you can into a victim class. Then pander to victim classes for votes, wealth and power.

[@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax]

@@johnathin0061892 That's been happening from day dot. It isn't a new thing.

[@louiserichards5751]

Dolly Love I think you literally took the words from my mouth.what you’ve said makes more sense to me than anything I’ve read or hear . Thankyou . I think we should just be x

[@xbduf4gb]

Dolly Love Agree. And lesbians are very very good at political movements

[@chukwumachigbo6716]

Add Boy George

[@terrypage358]

Autism is now treated as a spectrum disorder and no matter where you fall on that spectrum, you are diagnosed autistic. Every different variation within that spectrum used to have many different names. Aspergers etc.. It became so difficult naming all the differences they decided to just stick to Autistic. It needs to go the same way with gender issues and just call these people gender confused. Most of them change their minds as they grow up anyway.

[@sebo9872]

I love when I hear “non-binary” people talking about the clothes they do or don’t wear….really underlines their point 🤣

[@Rolan7196]

I literally don't understand what you mean. I don't think they were trying to establish any sort of NB uniform, just talking about what feels right to them. Exploring their freedom from male/female-only outfits.

[@Johan590]

@@Rolan7196 I feel like a murderer respect me.

[@Rolan7196]

@@Johan590 How simple do you have to be to unironically parrot the one joke?

[@Johan590]

@@Rolan7196 get a grip don't be transphobic 🤡

[@Gonin049]

Does it hurt to try respecting people?

[@rvic11]

1:45 I disagree that men's and women's sections in clothing shops are dictating what people 'need' to wear. Businesses work by meeting the demands of the consumer. Most people would prefer the clothing traditionally associated with males and females to be in separate sections, purely for ease of navigation. You're free to buy and wear clothes from whichever section you like.

[@philip5168]

rvic11 People are socialized by their assigned gender to wear the “traditional” style of attire for that assigned gender. If gender norms didn’t exist, the demand for gendered/ “traditional” clothing would not exist.

[@alexh6767]

Right, as a trans man, I am very happy in men's clothes. It's only natural for women and men to dress differently

[@OscarBoscar889]

well i agree but when i go to walmart and the girsl sections pink glitter, well the boys i dark and plad theres a problem

[@haleytradescards]

Their definitions are correct, but non binary isnt all about fashion expression.

[@quinnratliff8420]

@A M. You are given a sex at birth. From the sex you receive your gender. Some people realize that they arent either gender, so they identify themselves as nonbinary. You arent nonbinary if you like to wear different clothes. Those are called transtrenders. If you want to see a good explanation of nonbinary in this video, listen to Feng.

[@Feisenbach]

@A M. It's about seeking attention.

[@protowalker]

@A M. The human body is made up of many interconnected parts and several of them can control gender. Sometimes the pituitary gland can be guided into incorrectly producing the wrong hormones, effectively giving you a male brain with a female body or vice versa. That's what being trans is. However, notice that I said there are many body parts that control gender. Sometimes they don't all line up. Sometimes they fluctuate. Nonbinaryness comes from these systems being staggered like that.

[@protowalker]

@A M. I will split this into multiple points: 1) My scientific evidence: www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-17563-z this article has empirical evidence from over 15 clinical studies. This is what I'm going to reference from this point on, and I would be glad to find you some other sources if this isn't enough; however, it is late and I am tired. The studies explain that there is a noticeable difference in grey matter volume ("The first of these studies... showed that the right putamen had a greater GMV in... ...pre-HRT TW than in CM. The second study demonstrated greater GMV in the temporo-parietal junction, the inferior frontal cortex and the insular cortex of the right hemisphere in the TW than in cisgender controls, as well as... volumetric differences of the putamen and the thalamus. The third showed lower regional GMV in the left angular gyrus and the inferior parietal lobule in the transgender group. The fourth study evaluated adolescents and noted lower volume of the cerebellum (bilaterally) and the hypothalamus in transgender girls than in cisgender boys.") In the above example, GMV means Grey Matter Volume, TW means trans women (as in Male-to-female) and CM means Cisgendered Men. Keep in mind that these studies were all conducted on *pre-hormone therapy* trans people, meaning they haven't taken any hormones, yet still have brains that appear more like a cis woman's than a cis man's. 2) This same articles cites a few more studies that argue in the direction of a non-binary way of looking at gender: "All MRI studies in this field to date have suggested that the sex/gender of the brain does not present such well-defined characteristics presented by the genitalia. A recent study showed that this distinction would only be possible if sex/gender differences in brain characteristics were highly dimorphic and if brains were inherently congruent with male or female sex/gender. Although this study noted differences in sex/gender and behaviour, the human brain has a variety of individual characteristics that may each be more masculine or feminine. Consequently, human brains cannot be classified into two distinct categories of 'male brain' versus 'female brain'." In other words, there is not one single "male" or "female" brain, there are groups of traits associated with both types of brain and it is possible to have a combination of them. 3)I would love to explain the definition of gender identity and the diagnostic criteria of gender dysphoria! In gestalt psychology, there are two main ways we process the world: top-down and bottom-up. In top-down processing, the brain takes what it already knows and uses it to assume what its senses are trying to tell it; in bottom-up processing, we take our senses in and only base our perceptions off of that, or at least primarily. The problem is that there's never a moment where we use *just* bottom-up or *just* top-down, we use both. In the context of gender identity and dysphoria, it means that our bottom-up processing looks at what its senses are telling it: "I feel like I am not a girl, I am a boy. I have the primary and secondary sex characteristics of a female human, but that doesn't feel right. Something is wrong." and top-down processing looks at what it's told: "I know from experience that boys wear jeans and t-shirts and they like 'manly' things like camping." Our brain combines these things to create our perception of the world; therefore, this person will feel discomfort about their inherent sexual characteristics and they will want to combat it with societal stereotypes about gender. 4) Hormones. This goes back to the sexual characteristics thing. The entire thing about gender dysphoria is that your body doesn't match your brain. For some people this makes them feel very uncomfortable, even ill or suicidal; the truth is, though, that you don't necessarily have to experience this dysphoria to have a 'mismatched' brain. Gender dysphoria is a mental condition that is only considered for a patient when it impacts their life in a meaningful way. If it doesn't, then some people don't let it bother them and go on with their lives; the problem is that it *does* bother the majority of trans people. Taking testosterone or estrogen makes your body begin to exhibit the secondary sexual characteristics of the other sex, which can greatly help with this feeling of dysphoria. It can make your body *start* to match your brain. If you have any other questions I'd love to answer them for you.

[@clara-nt9rx]

@@protowalker Thanks for the explanation. I havent read your article but it seems like your 2nd article contradicts your 1st. And it doesnt prove anything about being nonbinary, just that you cant categorize brains based on sex because of individual differnces. Most people agree that your sex doesnt determine your brain or personality (we had a feminism movement and everything, men can wear makeup) yet most people are comfortable being labeled based on sex even though theyre not a perfect model of the current norm of masculinity or femininity. Your 3rd point addresses body dysphoria which is something cis people dont feel but that seems to be again based on a binary idea of gender which is based on sex and is different from being nonbinary. So is it uncomfortable with your sex but not that umcomfortabme to be trans? Gender is just a bunch of norms and streotypes associated with sex. The only reason it exists is because of the sex and reproduction thing. Why is it so important to nonbinary people? Im still confused.

[@avivastudios2311]

"A lot of people think we're transitioning for some reason." Woah, what a crazy thought that is. (Sarcasm.)

[@note4note804]

Non-binary would be a lot easier to understand if they stopped telling people what they aren't and learned to focus on what they are. Saying, "I use men's and women's fashion to dictate my own appearance." works a heck of a lot better than, "Non-binary = freedom" or "I accept a wider range of experiences.". No one knows what you're talking about, and wrapping sexual attraction labels into it are making it way way worse.

[@note4note804]

@Infinite Signy No offense, but that could not be a less useful definition. Everyone has aspects of their personality that could be categorized as "masculine" and "feminine", and I don't even want to touch the problematic nature of defining emotions or emotional states as "masculine" or "feminine". It also just muddies the gender fluid definition even worse. Unless you have a concrete example of what that experience IS, you're far better off explaining it based on how it's expressed as opposed to, "Here's a conceptual contradiction, but you wouldn't get it."

[@sofiakahlo9450]

@@note4note804 The words "tough" and "delicate" are much better than "masculine" and "feminine". Would stop many people from questioning their 'gender' for not following the stereotypes made by society, and have them accept the fact that you have the freedom to do anything you want no matter your sex, and remove the need for having "gender identities".

[@DgardsGaming]

you explained it better then they did

[@Laura-Yu]

Eh, that doesn’t fix it considering how “women/men fashion” is subjective. And not only that woman is a female human and a man is a male human, you can’t magically identify out of that. Transgenderism has an actual scientific basis and these “nonbinaries” invalidate that

[@seronimo__7735]

I mean, "non-binary" literally means "not part of the binary" aka "not man or woman." That's the only definition there is. There are sub-identities that one can identify with--such as between a man and a woman, some of both, somewhere off the man-woman spectrum, or without a gender slot. But usually, it's hard to know what you *do* feel like, since nonbinary people are so few and far between and it's therefore hard to share experiences. So most non-binary people just know that they're not a man and not a woman. The experience is different for everyone, but for me it means "I don't know how to be a man, or how to be a woman." And you might say, "there's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to be a man or woman", but let's face it. In today's society, there absolutely is. If you're a man and you lack the performative toughness, dominant, competitive qualities defined as "masculine", you get called a "sissy" and "weak." This is changing gradually, but for now the easiest way to live in the current society (at least for me) is to just not live as a man.

[@Facket]

Who needs to non-binary when you can be a Minecraft pvp god?

[@bonkers2394]

why not both

[@rogue1234]

I love you

[@phoenix_quinn]

Who needs gender when you can be victorious in a 1v1

[@Kalaniritchie]

I’m more confused than I was before 😭

[@seronimo__7735]

Yeah, as a nonbinary person, this video sucks. I don't blame anyone who watched this and learned nothing. I'm sorry to all the interviewees in this video, but it wasn't informative at all. Every nonbinary experience is different. But for me, look at this way. Imagine living in a small rural town (maybe in a different time period), and being the son of the only baker in town. Your father makes good money baking bread, and is training you to inherit his bakery. Baking is theoretically not a hard job, and you think it should be easy to learn. However, you just suck at it for some reason. Every time you try to make bread for customers, you burn it or mess it up in some way, and you constantly get scolded by customers. Your father might be supportive, and tell you to learn at your own pace. And you know that in the end, you're gonna inherit his bakery no matter how good or bad of a baker you are; and since it's the only bakery in town, people will always buy your bread. But you can't do it. You can't bear being scolded by customers, and feeling like you're bad at what you do. So one day, in your early 20s, you tell your father you're leaving. You can't stand working at the bakery any more, and he should just let someone else inherit it. You go off on your own. For a while, you wander around, and travel between towns. Eventually, you find a crappy job sweeping the floors in a rich person's house. You get underpaid and treated terribly. But you're good at it. You can sweep faster than anyone else could, and you find the work...satisfying. You don't like it, of course, but you feel like you can do the job well, unlike baking. You get praised by your employer from time to time--and though it isn't frequent, you know the days of feeling like a crap worker are over. Conditions at your sweeping job, again, are bad, but maybe they'll get better someday. Maybe your employer will grow more sympathetic, or maybe labor laws will be passed. Can't count on it, but it's possible; more than you could say when trying to become a good baker. That's what it's like to be nonbinary, at least for me. I didn't just dislike being a man. I was bad at it. I couldn't live up to any of the "masculine" gender expectations in this society. I couldn't be competitive, or tough, or dominant. I wasn't emotionally independent; I needed friends to constantly share emotions with and to share them with me. I wanted to be nurturing. I craved physical affection from platonic friends. There were minor things I got flack for as well, such as covering my mouth while eating (I just wanted to be polite). And don't even get me started on "toxic" masculinity. Like it or not, I've gotten so much hostility throughout my life for not having any kind of "manliness." And eventually, I couldn't f**king stand it any more. So I just quit. Being nonbinary is really crappy, but maybe conditions will be better in the future. It's not about fashion for me. I do enjoy wearing feminine clothing, but for me it's a way of telling society, "Hey, I'm not a man. I'm not living up to your stupid gender expectations." Same thing regarding the pronouns I use; it's a way people'll instantly know I'm not a guy. Being a man didn't work for me, and I want to be able to communicate to society that I'm no longer one. But wait, you may say. If everyone who can't live up to gender expectations just quits, won't it reinforce said gender expectations? I don't know. But getting rid of gender expectations will take generations either way, and until then it's unfair to ask those of us who can't live up to them to suffer through it. (Yes, I know. I'm posting this comment everywhere. I'm just pissed at how non-informative this video is.)

[@Someoneisntthere]

Coming from a non binary person. Clothes don’t make people non binary, activities don’t make people non binary. Wear what you want and do what you want as long as it’s not hurting people. For me being non binary is more just hating being gendered it’s not about what clothes I wear or activities I do or like. Gender identity and gender expression are two different things

[@Torbintime]

"Confusion of the highest order" - African pastor

[@understorymainchannel8326]

The most transphobic person in the world goes by the name Pasta

[@emolingling101]

@@lucasricardofolco442 you are geh

[@geest0705]

LGBTQI Where’s the H?

[@yassir6561]

BOGOYA ?!

[@nmdin7016]

PEPE XULIAN OZIMA

[@asafupps]

I don’t get this, shouldn’t your identity be based on how you actually feel, not your fashion sense or personality? Dysphoria should be the only thing that makes someone want to change their gender identity. Isn’t it that simple?

[@richardmetcalfe920]

If what you feel is stifled by traditional expectations of gender based upon sex characteristics, then why should you not reject them and carve out an identity that both rejects, and plays with gender signifiers for your own comfort?

[@naliacolman5925]

They're going on about how they wanna wear girly and boyish clothes but just because you wear a pink dress doesn't mean your a girl their just colours and that's all they focused on I dont get it.

[@richardmetcalfe920]

@@naliacolman5925 No clothes don't make someone anything, they are just fabric. But fashion is a method for a person to communicate something about themselves and their internal identity.

[@asafupps]

Nalia Colman Yeah same, like crossdressing is a thing idk

[@naliacolman5925]

@@asafupps exactly and people aren't gonna make a huge deal if a guy paints his nails or something I'm not sure why they had to make an entire gender out of it

[@user55398]

this made me even more confused they are reallyyyyy close minded u don’t have to be a woman to wear make up and skirts etc... i thought y’all were wOkE💀 fashion, characteristics etc ARENT based on gender pls open ur eyes

[@johnvincent2788]

aye they are. being vain and picky about your appearance is a feminine trait. men arent supposed to give a fuck. thats why guys into fashion end up pure dandified closet jobs. ever see a butch fashion designer?

[@catchmeifyoucan1095]

They are so confused and they are trying to convince otherwise

[@4lkareth]

Your confusion makes more sense than this video. You got it right all along: these are just gender non-conforming people who have been intoxicated with a "gender identity" ideology which, indeed, reinforces gender stereotypes and is contradictory to LGB, women and even intersex rights and interests. You seem just about to realize it fully. I would advice you to google into the so-called "terf" internet and get curious about what radical feminists think on these issues. Ovarit and womenarehuman.com might be some fine places to start, even if they are more focused on trans issues than on nonbinary (warning though: women there are rightfully angry so you might find them offensive at first glance, but I can assure you it is really understandable once you consider their arguments in good faith). Have a nice day!

[@Zerenko]

yup. they don't realise how regressive and sexist their ideology is. totally brainwashed. it's really upsetting to hear that feminine man so deluded about being a feminine man.

[@nosananolife9268]

@@4lkareth lgbtq*

[@manta567]

No, I am not confused. Sorry, but they seem confused. They confuse appearance and behaviour with anatomy/sex.

[@UchihaDarkForce]

When your gender is more important to you than your personality

[@JaytheblueJ]

I’m all for ambiguous expression. None of it makes you a different gender though. Personality traits don’t change sex or gender. It’s odd so many people hop onto that narrative.

[@satyavinaver]

Gender is a social construct and is not tied to sex

[@Leon-gr2oo]

And i dont get why they are hopping on

[@Atleastihavemydog]

If they did I’d choose to change something else, like my height. Man I’d really stand out if I were 11 feet tall.

[@healingwisdom6727]

Exactly

[@smileyhappyface5864]

Actually, nobody is hopping on to this lol. Everyone is talking in the comment section about how this confuse people.

[@chrispysaid]

1:54 This is interesting because the more I seek to understand Non-Binary culture, the more endlessly performative it all seems. I don't say this to be cruel or bigoted, but rather because the observation and the language that is used by NB's, particularly in this video, simply don't match up.

[@supersaiandemon]

Watch tik tok non binary videos on KZbin. It clears things way better. I feel this video tries too hard to take itself seriously when it really doesn't have to.

[@b9y]

@@supersaiandemon TikTok? Oh piss off. It's just a warped ideology that's coercing kids to come out as NB rather than be themselves i.e, male and female in a wonderful spectrum. NB perpetuates gender stereotypes rather than breaks them apart.

[@sofiakahlo9450]

@@b9y Exactly. NB's use non-binary as a workaround for gender stereotypes for only themselves, it's really selfish. Instead of being against these stereotypes, they go along with them. "I didn't feel like a man because I like make-up", the most ignorant and sexist comment I heard on this video. Everyone should have the freedom to do what they want, no matter their sex, but NB's think that's not the case, that you can only have the freedom if you're non-binary.

[@Lorvina1]

Yes, it's a fabrication. It is also political, most of them are leftists. Funny thing is they think they are against capitalism. I just see it as a product. There are now products geared towards the nonbinary market.

[@Octopussyist]

In what way is that more performative than the way everybody else display their gender identity?

[@bbeeez]

No label is needed to have FIERCE FASHION. Look at Bowie y’all! He was bisexual and loved “womens” fashion but he needed no label of non binary to be himself. These people need more art and outlets to express.

[@fartexplosion4480]

Bowie still had the male body, male mannerisms and clothes tailored to fit his unsurgically modified to fit the conventionally attractive male look

[@shadetreader]

I'm a visual artist and I'm nonbinary. We can be both. Art is not simply a substitute for other types of personal expression.

[@kapstarkysocialpolitics7819]

non of them have explained anything. It is possible that they can still do all the things they described and be happy as their biological sex.

[@luxord2654]

I'm Non-binary AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) I think the only one thing you really need to know in order to understand people like us better is that being Non-binary/trans isn't actually about breaking gender norms or going against society for the sake of being "woke". It definitely INVOLVES going against social norms, but we don't break social norms because we WANT to. We dress up the way we do just so that we can feel SANE. As IN-sane as it looks. When Oprah Winfrey interviewed Elliot Page after he transitioned, he talked about having a full blown panic attack after simply being presented with 3 dresses to wear at an afterparty when he was already being forced to present as a woman for the majority of his career. He simply could not take it anymore and had a meltdown. When you have gender dysphoria that severe and you have to live with it for YEARS just to be successful, it can take a serious toll on your mental health. Presenting yourself in a way that feels more authentic to who you actually are (no matter how weird it looks) fixes all of that and gives you not JUST peace, but JOY. We all need that. Now granted, not every gender nonconforming person is going to have dysphoria as severe as Elliot Page. You said it yourself, It IS INDEED possible to dress up however we want and still be happy as our biological sex. That's pretty similar to my own case. I never felt like I needed to have surgery or hormones to feel more at peace being in my own body. But no matter how severe or mild our dysphoria is, we really do feel better when we express ourselves in a way that feels authentic to who we are as people, and that's going be different for everyone.

[@luxord2654]

@@stanbrule9357 Oof. Sorry to hear that from you. Hope you're able to do better later on in life.

[@stevenbaker7025]

Yeah see this psychological not physiological. Gender and Sex are two different aspects of the human experience. Words have definitions, go and learn some new ones 🤡

[@isabellaquinn8041]

Because they themselves are still confused. I've even watched a lot of KZbin videos with adults who transgender as children and they speak about what a huge mistake it was and how upset they are. That their parents allowed them to do that, and they wished that they would be their original gender now as adults. It's really sad. I think there's just a lot of confusion. I mean, are any of us still the same person we were when we were 13 no hopefully not we all evolve every single day. Kid's nowadays they focus on the wrong things they confuse themselves. I have a friend who claims he's non binary. And then he says I love it when my mom calls me her favorite daughter. He's a Gay man! It's like o.k. Yeah, you make sense🤦‍♀️

[@drewharris7785]

Yeah this seems to be all about gender expression: I was assigned male but I want to wear lipstick, so I'm gonna call myself nonbinary. That's not how it works.

[@spiritualityjuice]

That's exactly how it works

[@mericagoat8178]

@A M. ha....no response they don't even know how it works

[@littlesailor1533]

@@spiritualityjuice Every real non binary person will tell you that that's not how it works.

[@sugariedreams2707]

@A M. It works with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria affects the way you perceive your body, not your interests specifically. If you transition, your interests might be related to one gender and you might want to disassociate as much as possible. But that doesn't prove nor mean that your interests were socially constructed to one genders' favor and you don't fit that spectrum anymore. This is speaking generally and on a little of my knowledge of gender dysphoria.

[@sugariedreams2707]

@A M. I guess what separates them is the feeling of discomfort or distress. If you just don't associate with your gender but aren't in distress, you aren't dysphoric. Even then, people can claim to be whatever because of this 'gender identity' mess. Being transgender doesn't have anything to do with being dysphoric anyway. Back to the question. I don't know if being non-binary has anything to do with transitioning or is just specifically based on your feelings. But gender is a synonym with sex so I just don't think being Non-binary works at all.

[@addy330]

It seems like these people just want more freedom of expression in the areas of fashion. They seem confused.

[@elenaromeroo]

i know! this shouldn’t be a gender or whatever. it should be that you have your own personality or a different way you want to dress.

[@starrynight1165]

If youll try to hear me out, i hope this clarifies it a bit. Gender and sex are different. Sex is purly biological but gender is more of a social category. Most of the time, these fit with sex, but it doesnt need to. For example, a male is a biological term while a man is a social term. Theres nothing biological that makes males wear suits or whatever, its the social construct that says that. In simpler terms, gender is a social construct merely based off biology. Im not too great with words though so if youre still confused, search up something like 'debate with truscum xandrothal' the debate is long but it explains what im trying to say here a lot more clearly.

[@addy330]

@@starrynight1165 I already know this. Yes, there are two genders: biological sex and social construct and the people in this video are getting the two mixed up thinking they can dress how they want to (which they can), but that has nothing to do w/ their biological sex, so how does their fashion sense make them "non-binary" in terms of their gender (biological sex)?

[@Hope-si1kb]

@@elenaromeroo Exactly. And people wanna say that gender and sex are different... Like that's literally something people made up recently

[@greg5892]

Hope except no it is not.

[@JosephJackson-yo5te]

I don’t get it when they say I feel like a woman or I feel like a man because there isn’t a feeling for any of them

[@helenalovelock1030]

Yea there is. Sometimes I feel feminine and sometimes masculine

[@JuniperGal-ek2pu]

@@helenalovelock1030 feminine doesn’t equal woman and neither does masculine equal man though. They can just say they feel feminine or masculine because those are actual ideas. Woman and man are biological and physical, not psychological/social ideas that you can cherry pick to identify with.

[@westzen6276]

a personality trait isn't a gender

[@voidparx]

But non binary is

[@kenfern2259]

@@voidparx I wonder if dolphins can be non binary.

[@kenfern2259]

@@voidparx bruh you're not serious are you?

[@buildersoflegends7106]

Facts and logic.

[@buildersoflegends7106]

@@voidparx No. Masculinity and femininity are social constructs.

[@therealcomment5622]

Just imagine if birds, animals and fishes could speak.

[@blackwidow3734]

What do you mean??

[@raymond6559]

Thank you Alex very cool

[@p.t.d.505]

I’m sure if they could speak, they would have more intelligent things to say than these idiots. It wouldn’t be all about fashion for starters.

[@blackwidow3734]

@@p.t.d.505 I 100% agree with you. I am myself transexual and I hate these genderfluid people. If they want to dress like different gender they can just do it and don't care about anyone. But no, they have to start a whole new gender just to do watever they want. And everyone must call them They.

[@erica892]

@@blackwidow3734 they don't feel comfortable with their biologicals sexes and their pronouns . ENBYPHOBIC !

[@huyenle7242]

I think "non-binary" means always trying to answer the questions "What makes you a man/ woman?"; "What is feminity and masculinity?". Aren't the labels all social constructs? Aren't we all non-binary?

[@PSL416]

Sexual organs are ways that science identifies genders

[@luilo7848]

Just imagine you go missing, what will the police understand if your parents describe you as '' non binary ''

[@gi3119]

Most of this comment section seems to have ignored the philosophy, and a lot of people seem fixated on the changing clothes. There’s also the using of inaccurate terms/using terms interchangeably which I think is super confusing people, because a lot of these basic premises I’ve read are wrong. I think the core of the confusion relates to people not understanding how/why gender norms/expectations are a social construct, along with gender itself. Personally after watching the video, I guess I can feel valid identifying as Non-binary because it’s been a developing idea in my mind for the past few years. For all my life, I’ve identified as a cisgender man or for the laymen, “a normal guy.” ⭐️I’d like to share my experience and understanding of this so maybe all y’all who are confused can understand too.⭐️ I feels like we have to be careful with our terms here because this is the part that people get confused at. Cisgender means identifying with the gender normative to your sex. There exist the two binary sexes (male and female) and a range of intersex sexes and chromosomal configurations, just called “intersex.” Biological sex is a consequence of evolution on Earth. There ALSO exists a binary gender system. Man and woman. I want you to think of gender as a role/act. A way of behaving subconsciously. The typical trend for most of humanity has been humans born biologically male to identity with being a “boy/man” and humans born biologically female to identify with being a “girl/woman.” If you’re confused, ask yourself, “what is masculinity?” And “what is femininity?” They’re really just recurring behaviors seen in society, traced all the way back to the first human tribes. Gender is a result of groups of people/societies, which IS also a result of evolution since binary gender is simply an expression of binary sex (ex: “men are providers and leaders of the family” (like many mammals) or “women are the caretakers and followers in the family”(like many mammals). Being a man or a woman comes from tradition. Different cultures have different conscious and subconscious expectations for their male and female parts, and thus you have binary gender: the expression of that. Man and Woman. Gender is a social construct because a two year old being told biological/male-he is a boy/little-man, the tot doesn’t really have a choice in questioning does he? Ans how could he question it when it’s reinforced everywhere he goes in the form of norms and expectations. These are the expectations/norms/behaviors men and women expect from themselves and from the opposite sex. The specific examples vary form culture to culture and generation to generation but the think of it as the still- existing, old school, conservative philosophy where the problems don’t come from what you should do, but more so form what you SHOULDN’T do. Artificial limitations and privileges. “Girls should be well behaved; boys are expected to act out” (why are more passes being given to boys for bad behavior, but some people act like we’re still in the 17th century enforcing “lady-like behavior”) “Assertive women are unfeminine and are "bossy," "bitches”” (but in men, assertion is usually a desired quality) “Women are expected to cover up because it’s distracting to men” (which puts the responsibility on the women, rather than men for their own behavior) “Boys shouldn’t wear dresses.” (Cause it’s “gay”? Who cares, unless you’re bothered by a deviation in your worldview) “Boys shouldn’t play with dolls.” (Cause it’s feminine? Who cares? Nurturing can make boys more empathetic) “Men are too impersonal and not emotionally apt to take on tasks "better done by women"” (cause they have to “be a man” and “not show weakness”) Those are just six examples but we experience the social construct in different places: - “men’s” clothes vs “woman’s” clothes in stores (not male and female clothes) - Advertising and branding to men and woman (it’s a meme at this point lol) - “Boy toys” and “girl toys” at McDonalds - Movies involving a battle of the sexes or a joining of them We grow up with all of this, so it’s normal to us. We have a general idea of what “women” and more like and what “men” are like. Now this isn’t to say that girls can’t do motocross and boys can’t do ballet. I’m actually a glad few commenters have pointed that out. And no, it doesn’t mean that girl or boy is non-binary. That’s the case because they choose to keep that identity, while expanding past the stereotypes and social norms associated with their gender. This is proof that society is starting to notice that gender is a construct and that the boxes that we categorize our male and female counterparts in are not fixed in tradition. The LBGTQ+ movement (at its core) is an acknowledgment of the social construct that is gender and letting people be whoever they really are in life and not feel ashamed for being different or not going with flow their society expects from them. ⭐️This is why gender is on a spectrum and there can be infinite genders. To be non binary means not playing the game of life with two options. Binary gender gives just two roles/ways of behaving that have been reused by every culture since humanity began. Many people share the same philosophy of how they want to present themselves to the world, and man and woman are viable experiences and many people are ok with that. That’s perfectly fine. However, while I believe in the science of biological classification, I also believe in accepting people’s experiences and self image. If the pieces don’t fit, you don’t have to play with them. Hope that clear it up?

[@MsHellfinger99]

Thank you! For writing this and for being who you are ❤

[@ironheadmafia]

How do they order clothes online without being triggered?

[@lisalegato0109]

Good question

[@KingskidAsh]

😭😭😭😭 head ass how do y’all live life without being fucking triggered every second of life. Oh right ya don’t.

[@puckbryn3583]

it’s generally pretty easy until I look at my bank statement

[@CaptainCJ97]

LMFAO

[@camiollivier1694]

🤣

[@askskskw291]

I still don’t get it Can’t u still be and dress however u want without the hassle of the whole pronoun situation? I feel like some things in life such as pronouns were created to just exist yk I don’t think pronouns were ever meant to be taken so seriously. Ik many girls that don’t fit into these gender norms and dress like “guys” and never wear dresses and makeup and whatnot and love football but still want to identify as women. So I don’t understand what the difference is between these girls ik and the people in the video apart from from the fact that the ppl in this video are taking pronouns way too seriously than they should be. Forgive me but I dont think I’ll ever get it.

[@gamerinatrance3618]

How you present yourself doesn't dictate whether you are non-binary. Otherwise we'd be calling drag-queens and cross-dressers non-binary. Non-binary is how one perceives themselves internally.

[@andrefrsmatias]

It's about how you feel and how you want to present yourself and be perceived by the world. You don't need to get it, just respect it. Being a girl that presents more masculine or a boy that presents more feminine doesn't have to be associated in any way with your internal gender identity, it's about internal experience and the expression of that experience, the external will just be a result of that.

[@damon79]

Yes you can do whatevee you want. These are just confused, unoriginal, attention seeking kids looking for attention, that have never heard about David Bowie. Yes it's fashionable and it will fade away. Like every fad. It was the androgonous fashion in the 80s that kicked it off. Real people that identify as themselves don't need a label. Nor do they look for attention. Real people (not these non binary posers) do what they want, dress how they want and live like they want. Some people call them eccentrics. Others call them free. No one calls them non binary. That's just a sub culture for kids that want to fit in and belong to something.

[@Lorvina1]

@@damon79 They will say that David Bowie was trans or nonbinary :))

[@tinaa140]

@@gamerinatrance3618 isn’t that just being trans?

[@MegaBleedman]

"I'm not male, I'm not female" and yet you're wearing females clothes. These people make no sense.

[@solio.]

You can wear whatever you want, you don't have to be a female to wear feminine clothes

[@MegaBleedman]

@@solio. Yes anyone can wear feminine clothes but the reason they'd wanna wear feminine clothes is cuz they wanna feel female or at least be one. That's why it's called "feminine".

[@solio.]

@@MegaBleedman i get what you are trying to say but wanting to feel feminine doesn't mean you want to be a female

[@MegaBleedman]

@@solio. So it's basically crossdressing.

[@JacobMatthew8]

@@MegaBleedman it’s basically called being a weirdo

[@suvkat]

How does being a male or female prevent you expressing your individuality? Nothing..This is why it is so hard for me to get these people and their mindset. Especially when they try to pressure us to play along