yoonkook | ode to flames. [hyyh]

"why was it yoongi? i suddenly realised. it was yoongi who saved jungkook. the two had the same look in their eyes."
[/!\ hyyh the notes 1: spoilers /!\] it's mostly angst though so like,,, what's new.
•Watch in 1080p.•
"yoongi stood completely still and looked down at the bird. [...] his hand holding the lighter still hung in the air. he finally dropped his arm, sank down, and covered his head with both hands."
i mean - i could quote the entire book, and i could (i will) eventually make other videos about hyyh. it broke me and fixed me all at the same time.
i fvcking loved it to no end.
this video is a bit uncanny (familiar but new); i was planning on uploading it around may but uni won't let me live. so i changed the way i had wanted to do this and i guess this video could actually be divided in two independent parts. both are still obviously linked with each other and are part of this new mini series i have in mind (starting with my previous video, "dance of souls," and following this journey of soul mysteries that i have with another video that i didn't get the chance to start working on yet).
ode to flames had many other titles, going from "first love" (as an echo to my video "confession" and as a reference to beckett's first love + suga's song first love) to "ode to lost souls." i kinda wrote a poem about this but it's still a work in progress, and i'm not sure where to go with the third video yet, we'll see where time and space take me;
you thudes don't even know how long it's been since i've tried to make a video with an organ instrumental; fINALLY it's here and i am so proud of it. i hope you'll enjoy this chaos with me.
the soundscape is probably the most important part of this, going from the weigh of silence to destructive cacophony, it's been my favourite thing to work on, and i reckon it's an easy way to convey things that i couldn't really express with words and through the footage here.
'tainted youth;'
i haven't officially come out 'irl,' but i have been struggling with gender identity for years, and i am trying to accept myself more. the name that most of you here on youtube might know me as is now a deadname that i only use IRL because i'm only out on the internet; but now, my real name here is Nikan, so if you ever want to talk to me or about me, please use it (or just kiwiichann), with they/them pronouns.
there are pain and doubts and self-hatred in this video - and it's always been there, unconsciously, in most of the previous ones - but there's also so much more acceptance, i hope that you can accept it too. i hope that you can accept yourself, too.
happy pride month, stay hydrated ☼
"wait for me at the gates..?"
"...which ones?"
that flame in the eyes, is a reflection of the heart's soul.
#FanvidFeed #yoonkook #hyyh
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○Twitter: / spideysguk
○Tumblr: / winterxhope
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Fandoms: transcending spatio-temporalities (you're here you're here)
Music: end of the video (organic,,,!)
Colouring: mine
Program: Sony Vegas Pro 10
○Backup: / @kiwiichannkc5605
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Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

[@bluejaes94]

1:43 had my heart skipping a bit. first of all this is eargasm!!! second of all this is the proof that you can build a tension with the right images and sounds. i love it,,,,

[@KiwiiChann]

thank you so much claire, i'm so glad you loved it

[@ocarett]

yOUR MIND!!! THE SOUND EFFECTS WERE SO REALISTIC I ALMOST FORGOT IT WASNT PART OF THE ORIGINAL FOOTAGE (can i say asmr quALITY??) AND AAAAAA I LIVE FOR YOONKOOK THIS IS JUST THE VIDEO I NEEDED IN MY LIFE ?? the scenes were so nicely arranged and that kept me sOoO invested in the story omg this is genius, loved it ♥

[@KiwiiChann]

thank you so, so so much!!! your enthusiasm is contagious fdjsfkjhdsfh i'm so glad you loved it

[@chrissytinaa]

okay first of all: this is a masterpiece (deny it all u want but that's a FACT) can we just discuss the sound editing in this?? because holy shit the sheer TENSION you just created is insane. like?? (i really wish i could put my thoughts into words right nowh hHh hh) i can't even begin to imagine how long it took you to find all the right sfx and to layer them so smoothly but DAMN!!! YOU DID THAT!!!!! the whole thing seems like a dream almost.. ?? but my god the scenes you chose, the sfx you layered - everything builds to such a satisfying crescendo 19483209809/10 oh my god i'm in love with this

[@KiwiiChann]

fdjslkjfskdjf you have no idea how much this means to me, i could melt right now (and it wouldn't be because of the alarmingly increasing heat),,, thank you so so, so much!

[@chrissytinaa]

BRO B R O OH MY GOD???????????? im literally sitting here in awe rn pls wait while i collect myself

[@oneXdirectionXlove]

THAT WAS SO INTENSE??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY YOUR MIND IS SO FULL OF IMAGES AND SOUNDS AND IDEAS AND THEY WORK SO WELL TOGETHZR AND THE EDITING OF THE LAST SCENE WITH JUNGKOOK LIKE WHAT IT'S LIKE THEY'RE ABOUT TO CLASH I-

[@KiwiiChann]

to sum up: YES (and thank you

[@bpwinces]

Okay watching this at 2am is not the best idea, IT IS something I tell you! Your night owl will never change unfortunately xD And so won't my habit of clicking on your channel, fishing for new uploads. And hurrraaaahhh :D was so happy to see this. I can never say much as you already know but you YOU and your edits will always be my LIFE. Hope uni isn't killing you too much. Sending lots of love as always. Je t'aime beaucoup x

[@emmaflorentine]

Wait WHAAAAT? This is like a mini movie what the hell. They should hire you to edit their music videos FOR REAL?! And the music is so ambient? It’s kind of mesmerizing.... im shook. The editing is so on point and the colors+black and white switches aaahhhhh eyegasms all over. What the fuck why are you so GOOD€/€:€/€:€/&9;39483

[@silenaxx]

Ahh I'm a month late. I haven't watched many edits recently but I'm soooo glad I watched this one. Nikan, you're amazing. I've probably said this before but it hasn't changed. This... it's just a masterpiece. Not that all of your editing isn't. This made me think and feel various things. My first thought was this: This is beautiful. Not in a way you'd expect when you hear the word beautiful. But I think there is a lot of beauty in negative, "not nice" feelings too. Like it or not but there's still beauty. Beauty can be a lot of things. But what's the most beautiful thing about this: Even though the video is mostly dark, beauty is a positive word. Therefore the video is positive too. Excuse my weird logic. I really like this video and this is just one of my many thoughts and perspectives. I really appreciate the fact that you exist and are still editing. Thanks Nikan

[@Bgameworld]

I am first viewr