You Can Be Too Equanimous

[@studentofspacetime]

This is incredibly useful Doug. Thanks so much. I would add one point about the notion of “judgement”. I would say that there are roughly two levels of judgement one can hold: 1) Judging someone’s behavior, actions, performance. In this sense, constructive criticism may (under appropriate conditions, as pointed out in the video) help. 2) Fundamentally judging the person. This is the toxic one we’re always told to avoid. This is where you say “you messed up A & B & ..., therefore you are a bad/selfish/ .... person”. This one comes from a fundamental misapprehension of what a being is.

[@DougsDharma]

Oh absolutely so Andrés, great point!

[@4imagesmore]

I was never comfortable with Ñāṇavīra Thera's definition of upekkha as "indifference". This might work for secluded monastics, but the puthujjana is engaged in the world. Happy to hear that the Buddha teaches equanimity with regard to outcome (non-grasping), and not indifference with regard to being active in the world. Thank-you.

[@DougsDharma]

Right yes 4imagesmore, I think this is an important distinction to make!

[@bkhpanigha]

I think it's important to note that upekkha does not refer to being unreactive to one's environment, but rather to an attitude of detachment towards feeling (vedana) which is the opposite of our usual attitude, craving, thereby countering it; this is the indifference or equanimity the Buddha encouraged all the way. In some cases, the latter might manifest as the former, but they are not equal. Consequently, secluded monastics and laymen alike can equally well be puthujjanas yet appear to be "equanimous" because they act like rocks, but that by no means implies that they have truly cultivated upekkha. For that one needs true understanding.

[@elviejodelmar2795]

I give you Thich Nhat Hanh who opposed the war in Vietnam, seeing it rightly as evil and destructive. It is many times easier to clearly recognize wrong actions on a grand scale -- and oppose them -- than to deal on a one-to-one basis which too often can become seen as a personal attack.

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, it can be less personalized that way. Thanks Ed.

[@ethanhartleyhastings2256]

This channel has me back on the path, meditated almost every day this past month since discovering it. Working on cultivating awareness throughout my life, love the comparative philosophy in many of your videos, keep it up!

[@DougsDharma]

That's great to hear Ethan, thanks for letting me know! Be well and keep it up.

[@paulinewqi]

This lecture/ Dharma talk is very applicable to our daily lives, which is what I love about Buddhism Thanks for another great talk...

[@DougsDharma]

You're most welcome Pauline, thanks for the comment. 🙏

[@timgray950]

The stoic concept of equanimity is useful: It refers to a state of mind in which one is not disturbed by the passions., as distinguished from indifference.

[@DougsDharma]

Indeed so, it is in fact essentially identical to the Buddhist notion of equanimity. One can therefore see the examples in this video as reinforcing a correct understanding of equanimity as versus an incorrect one (indifference), depending on how one understands the examples.

[@templepanchgavya]

I was aiming to be the 3rd type of person and have made mistakes in the process. Cannot thank you enough for sharing this. Lots of metta.

[@DougsDharma]

You're very welcome, glad it helped! 🙏

[@MK2030KG]

"Worthy persons deserve to be called so because they are not carried away by the 8 winds: prosperity, decline, disgrace, honor, praise, censure, suffering, and pleasure. They are neither elated by prosperity not grieved by decline. The heavenly God's will surely protect one who is unbending before the right winds. " Nichiren Daishonin

[@DougsDharma]

“But, bhikkhus, (1) when an instructed noble disciple meets with gain, he reflects thus: ‘This gain that I have met is impermanent, suffering, and subject to change.’ He thus understands it as it really is. (2) When he meets with loss … (3) … fame … (4) … an.iv.159 disrepute … (5) … blame … (6) … praise … (7) … pleasure … (8) … pain, he reflects thus: ‘This pain that I have met is impermanent, suffering, and subject to change.’ He thus understands it as it really is." The Buddha. suttacentral.net/an8.6/en/bodhi

[@jaednhowlar2359]

Powerful stuff, this is a perfect follow up to the last video. Very well done.

[@DougsDharma]

Thank you kindly!

[@mpilarb]

A enlightening talk, thanks a lot. Just what I needed to learn at this moment.

[@DougsDharma]

You're very welcome Pilar!

[@TheJosephHammond]

Thank You for all Your Hard Work! I am seeing clear Strengthening of my practice through your videos. Deeply Grateful. :)

[@DougsDharma]

That's great news TJH! Thanks for letting us know, and keep it up!

[@xiaomaozen]

I admire Analayo for his analysis. Equanimity must not be misunderstood as indifference. It must also be seen in the context of and infused with the other 3 brahmaviharas: metta, compassion, sympathetic joy. In the first part of his book _Compassion and Emptiness in Early Buddhist Meditation_ from 2015, there's a very elaborate practice-oriented analysis about this subject. Highly recommended. As everything by him... 😂 🐱🙏

[@DougsDharma]

Yes indeed! 😄

[@stephenrizzo]

This may be my favorite of your videos to date. It really drives home the need to be realistic and practical in regard to being “judgmental” or “critical”. There is a time for every purpose under heaven.

[@DougsDharma]

Exactly so! 🙏

[@georgecolombo]

Here an amusing aside: I clicked on this video enthusiastically because my brain somehow perceived the title as, “You, too, can be equanimous.” Needless to say, I had to recalibrate my expectations.

[@DougsDharma]

😄 Well I hope it lived up to those recalibrated expectations!

[@aliciamontero7061]

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu. Well said, well said, well said.

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks Alicia. 🙏

[@markbrad123]

Operant conditioning (sometimes referred to as instrumental conditioning) is a method of learning that occurs through rewards and punishments for behavior. Through operant conditioning, an association is made between a behavior and a consequence for that behavior.

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks optizap.

[@CocoaBeachLiving]

I'm am the fourth type of person.. Context is the key to this. I have been critized by others for being this way. That is perfectly fine. Thank you, I'm on the right track 👍😊

[@DougsDharma]

Yes, me too Bill. Though the hardest is really doing it with a mind of kindness.

[@anniechua8985]

🙏🙏🙏 thanks for the talk!

[@DougsDharma]

My pleasure Annie, thanks for the comment! 🙂

[@melvindwightruddell9118]

I would like to add to your comment that criticism needs to be in the right context and right time. You sort of touched on right tone, but I would add that right tone can be expressed specifically with the right volume. If you criticize with a raised voice or in a condencending tone, it can be counterproductive because it causes defensiveness on the part of the receiver of criticism. Another specific expression of right criticism is the number of rounds of argument. If criticism keeps going back and forth multiple times, the argument can get heated. I try to just have one statement of criticism and then shut my mouth. There could be a second round if it is necessary to clarify what you said in the first round. But any more than that is an indication the receiver has stopped listening and any more words would be counterproductive would lead to more heat than light.

[@DougsDharma]

Right!

[@Socrates...]

Sometimes silence speaks loudest

[@DougsDharma]

Indeed it can Socrates. Unfortunately it'd be hard to get viewers for the video so I have to talk! 😄

[@Giantcrabz]

the last year has made that very clear to me

[@lazarbogicevic6304]

Hey Doug I wonder if you already did a Video about the similarities and differences between Schopenhauers Philosophie and Buddhism?If not it could also be an interesting Topic. Love your Channel keep going with the good Work. 👍

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks Iazar. I haven't discussed Schopenhauer on this channel mostly because I don't know much about him! 😄

[@Valkanry]

wow! great talk!!

[@DougsDharma]

Thanks Nicole! Glad you found it useful.

[@y0k0z00na]

I've noticed how the Buddha used truth tables quite a bit, e.g. the 4 individuals the Buddha asked the monastic about.

[@DougsDharma]

Certainly it can be understood that way; the Buddha was very analytical.

[@Hermit_mouse]

I can't help but wonder if this can be applied outside the context of monks.

[@robertcalamusso4218]

Who are “ They” to criticize?