you'd look better if you wore less makeup

[@exomake_mehorololo]

That statement has the same energy as "you should smile more! ". Go kick rocks I say!

[@shawnaripari]

OH MY GOD. YES. You instantly unlocked immediate frustration and core memories 😂

[@SimplyKatieWalks]

Same here! Or "you look tired"!!

[@alisonr819]

@@SimplyKatieWalks I actually know a man who feels the need to tell me quite frequently I shouldn't wear make-up. When I am not wearing make-up he tells me I look tired. It just seems like a form of control to me. (or attempted control at least)

[@monicagambino318]

Great video. I wear make up and I am over 50, I don’t plan to stop anytime soon. I never tell people anything about their appearance unless it is an honest compliment.

[@shawnaripari]

Love that you're doing you!

[@dinygoesglam]

There is this brazilian influencer I follow, she was once commenting about her mother. Someone said to her that her mom was very beautiful and she thought that was really odd cuz she never thought about her mom as "beautiful". She never considered her mom other than what she is, herself (I think she was saying being "beautiful" was sort of a measure point, like someone is beautiful, some are not, some are less). And she continued saying cuz to her, in her mind, the things that came to her mind when talking about her mother was her intelligence, her accomplishments, her life stories and experiences, her attitudes and presence within her family. She followed by saying she does think her mom is beautiful but she think many other things of her mom before considering her appearance. Since then, I have heavily observed my attitudes and stances on complimenting someone's appearance, specially if I dont know them or dont have any close interaction with them. I dont think saying someone "looks beautiful" is completely wrong but I watch myself who I am saying it to and when it is being said (also how often cuz I dont want them to believe they are how they look like. They are much more).

[@shawnaripari]

This is such a wonderful observation and I'm glad you shared it. I too agree that many of the comments given and received center around appearance. It's so nice to hear things that are about the good things people see in you!

[@wplants9793]

Somehow this reminds me of how many people want to make Britney Spears have a better more presentable Instagram. Like, just let the woman live. Let her be messy. She was a perfect Barbie doll for many years and extremely famous; if she wants to destroy her brand and ruin her legacy (it can’t be ruined, if you like pop then you know, her music will live on), who cares? Just makes me so mad, because the same people saying “free Britney” are also saying “can you please clean up your mascara, wash your hair and stop dancing in your underwear?”.

[@renysimone3312]

Britney is mentally ill & exploiting her on social media is unconscionable. She is exposing herself completely naked online, & is obviously ill, besides having children present in the home. She needs help, not enabling.

[@tinylittlebutstillalion4101]

Nobody has the right to tell anyone what they can or cannot wear. If you dont like it look away and if the person did not ask for your opiniun or advice then we should keep it to ourself.❤

[@shawnaripari]

Yes, i think this is a good strategy when it comes to apearance 💜

[@njpans]

Great video!! I am 50 and love to wear makeup…some days more, some days less. We wear it for ourselves not for others!!!

[@shawnaripari]

absolutely agree!

[@marachristian8726]

LOL, so true! When my daughter was here for a visit during COVID, we took her out to dinner at our local Fine Dining restaurant. She had been holed up in her apartment for months because of shut downs and was in a bad place, mentally. She got dressed up, including false eyelashes and "city clicker" outfit for dinner out in a small, rural town, full of retirees and Country Bumpkins--looking like a total Fish Out of Water! But, when one of the waitresses came over just to tell her, "I have to say, you look AMAZING!" she almost burst into tears because it made her feel "so seen"! We later had to explain to my husband that women don't actually put on makeup for men--we do it for other women to notice! (He still doesn't get it.)

[@pamelawolf313]

On occasion I do wear it for others. Like I know on a date night my husband goes bananas when I wear a bright red lipstick….so sometimes we probably all wear it for a reason bigger than ourself sometimes. (If you have a daughter that’s getting married, apparently our makeup becomes very important at that moment. lol 😂🤦🏼‍♀️😊) 😅 but I agree, wear it dont but for our reasons or our own self. Can’t make everyone else happy anyway.

[@YourGlamourous]

Agreed!

[@vvitch-mist20]

As a goth I get super annoyed when people act like we don't have jobs. How the hell do we pay to keep up this look? My tattoos together cost like almost three grand lol.

[@elisabetarvidsson8586]

I've had somewhat mild acne, but more so Ive struggled with picking my skin and causing acne outbreaks from that. The past year or so Ive started wearing foundation on a regular basis because Ive found that it stops me from picking SO MUCH! (And learning a lot from you about breaking bad habits and focusing on simply avoiding it) i've actually been able to change/break some of my picking habits. At the same time people tell me, oh but you don't need foundation, you're beautiful without it. Yes I know, but breakouts hurt, and if this helps me from picking, I'm going to use it!

[@shawnaripari]

I'm happy to hear you've found this tool/method that works for your life. Sorry to hear about the comments though

[@lorenabpv]

women aren't allowed ro be fun and playful with their aesthetic, just roll with a "you but better" vibe. and while i admire fun makeup, i'm not interested in doing it on myself, which is fine. however, i can't rationalize wearing makeup just to cover my "flaws" and look like i am natural. it's crazy to me that women have to present that way to be perceived as clean and professional. and i would never shame other women for this, but it's impossible to remove makeup from the notion of presentable that is unfair. why are we supposed to always adapt to this "natural" neutrality? i've been living by the adding philosophy for a couple of years: only wear makeup when it adds something, like glittery eyelids, never covering something i dislike atm such as redness or spots. this has been wonderful for my relationship with my skin lately. sorry for the rant, this video gave me ideas to ramble about

[@dinygoesglam]

to your point around the minute 1730, ma gosh, even the "most beautiful" women on this earth have bad days. I feel like we are always robbed of something, no matter what. If we wear makeup, to stop. If we dont, to start. If we are fat, to lose weight. If skinny, to gain a few pounds. Too tall. Too short. Too black. Too white. We are never enough in any way, shape or form. Is sad.

[@LizzylovesLobo]

this conversation got me thinking about trends, how “less makeup” never means less makeup, it just means “no makeup” makeup, which is whats trending now. i wasnt old enough to be wearing makeup in 2016, but i do see how it would have been normal to tell someone to wear makeup at that time because the trend was to look like u are wearing obviously a lot of makeup. but u are wearing the same amount of makeup in 2016 and 2024, only the finishes and effect are different. eye shadow and lipstick are “old lady makeup”, so it makes sense that older women have asked me why i dont wear makeup when i am!! its just intentionally meant to look “natural” on purpose

[@shawnaripari]

I think women can get both types of comments now. To wear less makeup or if they wore 'just a little' they'd look better. And you're right that different trends can move beauty ideals up or down the spectrum

[@Lysiefaithasmr]

Women’s bodies are always up for public discussion it seems, no matter what we do. When I was fat, people would always make rude comments or questions about my weight. Wearing a full face of makeup helped me feel more confident and like maybe that was one thing people wouldn’t pick apart about me.

[@shawnaripari]

I'm so sorry to hear that people made comments about your weight. I am, however, glad to hear that wearing makeup made you feel more confident. You're entirely right about women's bodies. That's the problem, people feel like women's bodies ARE up for discussion, criticism, and commentary.

[@veggierunner79]

Whoa I am 45 and fortunately I haven't heard this type of commentary about makeup being for younger women. If anything, I have heard the opposite (that makeup ages younger women). I guess we can't win!! I have personally always associated makeup wearing with being more 'put together'. I have always worn a lot of makeup (by most people's standards), and luckily have never heard much backlash about it.

[@shawnaripari]

I'm really happy that you haven't received negative comments. you're right though, I've heard this about younger women as well! Their skin is so young, they're so beautiful they don't need all that makeup.

[@_jo-jo_]

When it comes to giving someone your opinion or giving someone advice, I find it's best to only give them when you've been asked for them. Unsolicited advice or opinions are very rarely well received. On the other hand, compliments are different and, generally people are happy to get them. Although those that are not to do with weight etc are best, ie not have you lost weight you look great, use you're looking well or I love your outfit/necklace etc. Or I enjoy spending time with you, I feel good when I'm around you, not anxious, for example. Great video, thank you 😊

[@shawnaripari]

Yes, exactly! Advice/feedback best when solicited. And, we can also be kind when giving it too! Compliments are usually well received and I've really appreciated the increase (and growing interest really) of compliments not about appearance. I've spoken with folks about telling your loved ones you're proud of them. More people are intentionally doing this because of how little they were told that or how little they believe it's said. That one isn't totally in this context but so nice to hear 😊

[@mikelobrien]

Makeup, hairstyles, fragrance, clothes, accessories, etc. are all forms of self-expression. Depending on the culture you live in dictates what "acceptable boundaries" might be. If someone makes a suggestion or comment about your choices, it's usually more of a reflection on them than you. The only exception would be someone you're very close to pointing out something they think you might want to correct, like spinach in your teeth or your zipper is down. Perfection is emphasized only because marketers want to sell products.

[@shawnaripari]

This is well said and you bring up some excellent nuance

[@TheMichelleBooth]

LOVE THIS! Your videos are so well made and thought out! You put into words many of the thoughts I’ve had but I never knew how to articulate them.

[@kathleenwarner4046]

Thank you for this Interesting and stimulating video. As someone who is always forming opinions and sometimes expressing them inappropriately, your frankness is refreshing and helpful.

[@ketameanii]

i always feel frustrated that i ΝEED to put makeup on to be professional…. it’s so annoying

[@miki410]

Loved everything you had to say. Thank you!

[@zarisundiata7744]

I’m glad you mentioned the beauty standards because one thing that really disturbs me is the nose contouring trend. That is a very specific aesthetic which is purely Eurocentric but people do it mindlessly or using the excuse of “bringing dimension” to the face. Never questioning why dimension takes the form of a smaller, straighter nose which is not the reality of how most people look. And when I search Google to see if anyone else has called out how problematic this is, it’s crickets. While I believe it’s one of the most mentally damaging aspects of ways to do makeup. Especially when it is downplayed as “bringing my nose back”. It totally blows my mind that this has not been criticized 😮

[@shawnaripari]

This is a really great point!! I've also not heard criticism of this or what facial features someone is trying to mimic and also what kind of faces and features are being aestheticized. Thank you so much for calling attention to this

[@jadedgal05]

People tend to prefer thinner, straighter noses, it’s considered to be more aesthetically pleasing…so is the “golden ratio” which very few of us measure up to, is that Eurocentric too?

[@zarisundiata7744]

@@jadedgal05 You should ask yourself the origin of that preference and you’ll find the answer. Also consider the origin and imposition of most beauty standards in the Western context, we know they don’t come from Africa, that is a contradiction since Africa is not Western culture, so be honest with yourself

[@bandanarathore]

I completely dislike any type of contouring. Man more and more steps.. 😅😅

[@ketameanii]

@@bandanarathoreyeah i hate contour like what’s wrong with my face lol. it’s also hard and like not worth it imo. only if i got an MUA for a special occasion would i let them do it lightly

[@Eddysig]

And i feel like when people say it they're also only talking about a handful of people they find attractive. Regardless of makeup or no makeup, you can choose to wear it (I'm a trans guy and sometimes i wear makeup) but just the idea that women have to be a certain way EVEN IF they are "natural". Like women are shamed for every natural element of their body and face and still get told they're wearing too much makeup or not ENOUGH makeup. Like women do things for themselves sometimes yanno? I just hate how back and forth and this and that women feel about themselves because of the world wanting to control them so badly.

[@ketameanii]

yeah it is extremely frustrating since like i don’t wear makeup to work honestly bc my job isn’t my passion rn and idk. but i hate feeling like im not as “professional” for just having my bare skin with sunscreen on at work lol?

[@aquamar1003]

I was told my makeup is more natural than „Kardashian’s“ while having literal stars drawn around my eyes and on my lips with a bright colourful base and a bit foundation/concealer. That was really very weird Anyways you’re right. Lots of comments „you don’t need makeup“ Um du you know me? Nope. Creepy as hell actually.

[@shawnaripari]

Lol the comment about your makeup is just weird and unnecessary! The stars sound fun though

[@carolg6598]

I don't wear makeup. I don't like how it feels on my face and I don't like having to clean it off every night or worrying about getting it touched up throughout the day. I also don't tell other people whether they should or shouldn't wear makeup.

[@mamajoysings]

I really love how you're talking about this issue. I have a long history with makeup which has ended with me in my mid forties mostly not wearing makeup at all. I love how you put it, if we have opinions about another persons face or body we should be keeping it to ourselves. I would go a step further and encourage some self introspection about our own motives in feeling the need to impact someone with our opinions. Everything we say and do is a gift to each other. Some gifts are steaming piles of crap. We should be examining what we are giving to others and interrogating our motives. That said, I have had many opinions on makeup over the years and I'm sure none of them matter. I used to be a hyper-consumer, I had a large horde and became a proper cosmetologist and makeup artist. I also worked at Ulta during my schooling which began to disillusion me with the over consumption I witnessed. Now, I wear it only when performing. I use cake mascara so that I don't have to replace it regularly since I only use it a few times a month.

[@gwenmph]

I don’t wear makeup. Not only can I not be bothered to do so, I don’t understand it much. But as much as I don’t understand makeup, people don’t understand my tattoos or piercings either. I don’t need to understand it. You do you boo! Live your life for you!

[@bandit_of_trash]

I stopped wearing makeup years ago (other than for formal events) because it makes me skin break out like crazy. Like, within an hour of putting in on my skin is already going crazy, this includes breaking out on the edges of my lips if I'm wearing lipstick. I've tried so many different products, but nothing agrees with my skin. I wish I could wear makeup and sometimes I watch makeup tutorials for fun - it's honestly an amazing art. That being said, people are entitled to wearing as much or as little makeup as they want to and people need to stfu

[@marachristian8726]

Generational differences! I am in my '50s and have always dated and married men my age or older. They preferred actually knowing who they were married to, instead of waking up with a stranger, ha ha.) I have always loved wearing makeup and taking good care of my skin, but I actually do that for MYSELF, not my husband (LOL, he is 67, with poor vision, and doesn't even notice when I get a new hair cut.) I was a single mom for 15 years, and I swear I only put on makeup to go out in public, so my kids wouldn't be embarrassed. I am borderline albino--invisible eyelashes, no eyebrows, pale lips, and blotchy skin from sun-sensitivity. I look "weirder" without makeup and get carved up by a dermatologist to remove skin cancer regularly. I use makeup to hide the scarring. My sister never wears makeup, keeps her hair cut short and easy to maintain because she is a health professional and athlete. (NOTE: That does not make her a Lesbian, but people have judged her as such.) My daughter embraced the whole Goth Look in high school and looks like a completely different person when she "fixes herself up" to go to work--as a CHEF in a blistering hot kitchen! I always know when she is in a depressed state when she does NOT put on makeup--that is the sign that tells me she is giving up on herself.

[@Elegeia1]

I like my face without makeup but still wear a minimal amount to work because I feel like I have to (just my internal voice, no-one at work has ever said anything and plenty of women there choose not to wear makeup). The rest of the time I’m bare-faced. Works for me and I’m happy. End of story ✌🏻

[@vvitch-mist20]

Me nor my grandmother wear make up. I wore the most when I had my eyeliner, and lipstick but dropped both post-covid. (I don't do eyes without lips, and if I'm wearing a mask why would I do my lips). My daughter expressed interest, but she's still little. I told her when she's 10 I'll take her to buy some makeup lol.

[@crownprincesslaya2]

8:24 also, from someone sexist “you won’t find a job with (XYZ beauty decision)” can also mean, underhandedly, “you won’t find a (‘woman’s job’, aka a) Husband”

[@GelaMarie83]

I have gotten so many comments from my parents over the years about looking better without makeup or looking better with my natural hair color. They also comment on my tattoos and nose ring. Like I appreciate your concern, but it's my body.

[@maru45382]

Agree! 💯 specially when most of us wear makeup because we enjoy it and nobody else should care our reason for that matters. Also some professions requires some adjustment but the person doing their makeup know that. Great topic! 😊

[@shawnaripari]

thanks for sharing your perspective Maru!

[@pamelawolf313]

Really, all people can do the same exact thing but with a diff motive. I may wear makeup bc I’m confident and I don’t care what people think about it while the next person may wear bc they lack confidence and they don’t feel good without it. But I’ve also met many women who say I don’t wear makeup bc I never had the confidence to learn how to apply it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ we all have our own reasons for doing everything in life and we should let other people have that same freedom. (Long winded way of saying I agree with you) haha 🤣

[@laurenandcats]

Interesting video. My experience: As a young child, I wore makeup as play. I put pink lip gloss in my hair and on my face to look like Jem from Jem & The Holograms - a cartoon. As a pre-teen/teen, I was insecure in my body. As a way to feel more confident, and to hopefully attract boys, I wore makeup. Later on in my late 20s/early 30s it became a way to be creative. To play again, now as an adult. Then the pandemic hit. I worked from home, no cameras. I stopped wearing makeup. I grew more comfortable in myself. I started to appreciate my face as it was as I rarely saw it that way. Now I wear makeup mostly on weekends or if I’m going out, again as a form of play and to present myself to the world as I want to be seen, not as they want me to look. I think there is some truth in natural beauty, actually not wearing makeup. That can be viewed as bold in our society. Perfect example: Pam Anderson. But, it can happen you gain confidence in that way too. Not just in how you can look to others but how you talk to and see yourself, “warts and all”. After that how you use makeup and clothing and perform your gender can change in profound ways. It’s not *the* way to get to that point, but it was my path.

[@setsunaIkusa]

Omg!! We should how a conversation,About the overconsumption about the #MetGala aswell😂

[@jadedgal05]

“Women over 40 shouldn’t wear makeup…” I’m over 40 and have worked in the beauty space for a LONG TIME. Some of the most beautiful women I know are over 40. It’s not about how much you can buy in makeup, it’s about the products you do use. Don’t search for the best of any product, someone else has likely already done that, just do your research and ask for samples, the girls at counter will give them to you. Also…there’s no such thing as too much blush, but there is such a thing as the right shade of it for you. ❤

[@savannawarcop1129]

I always get told after having each child... you look great you put on some weight and needed it you were too small before. This comment makes me feel horrible and i get it over n over.

[@shawnaripari]

I truly so sorry this has been your experience

[@mamajoysings]

I'm not sure there's any good way to comment to someone what you think about how they look, whether you see your comment as positive or negative, if you do not intimately know the person. It just doesn't seem proper to me. As someone who's weight has always fluctuated and who has gone from glam girl to middle-aged, bare-faced betty, I have received the gammit of comments and NONE of them made me feel seen or loved. Telling someone that how they look is appealing to you is just as loaded as telling them that how they look is unappealing. And neither are the other persons problem. I tend to think that the way a persons parents dare to speak to them about their own appearance or the appearance of others may have something to do with the permission that people give themselves to inflict their opinions on others. It's just not acceptable to me. I'm not here to be appealing. I'm here to be of service in a meaningful way.

[@-1lovethesea]

People are stupid. I remember when I was in my early twenties, way older people used to comment on my eyes shape. Ok what do you want to me do? God created me this way. Just don’t comment on any physical traits in the other person.

[@dinapawlow1622]

I am 70 years old. Today I will be alone at the cottage puttering around and having a nice day. I will wear my usual tinted sunscreen, blush, tinted lip balm, lip liner perfume and will arrange my hair. I am happy.

[@dinygoesglam]

one thing is very clear from non make up weares is, they have no idea that make up follows trends. Blush is up now. Not too long ago was contour. The next trend is currently in production right now and when it is out, they will complain about it too. Not only is none of their business but also, they dont get it and blame us for their lack of understanding (commenting on the reference you made about wearing "too much blush").

[@Melissa-sx9vh]

Yes! Another example is the dewy skin/glass skin trend, right now it's all you see on social medias but a few years ago it was matte everything.

[@bestlaidplans2024]

Most people put on makeup for themselves because they like it, not to please others. If you don't like it, then it's clearly not for you

[@shawnaripari]

you said it!

[@Hellswarmglow]

As per Indian societal guidelines, I'm actually quantifiably less of a woman because I don't wear makeup. It's the reason I'm single, and as we all know, someone who hasn't produced at least two children by the age of 40 is a failure at fulfilling their duty as a biological female. All of this could have been avoided had I just gotten a tube of MAC Ruby Woo.... 😢 /s obviously because internet.

[@ZZ-qy5mv]

It’s not about more or less makeup, really… It’s high contrast vs low contrast makeup. When people say it’s too much makeup, they really mean it’s too high contrast. That or your foundation doesn’t sit well on your skin.

[@isabellerininger6249]

Interesting! I would rather hear from a stranger that I’ve made a misstep in makeup application-like a person on the train telling me about a specific color that would go with my coloring better. I value the input. If I look like a clown, I want to know. Now, in the reverse, I would tell someone quietly if there was a misstep/they are free to ignore me obviously. But we should all look out for one another. Now I don’t support style critique at all. That’s none of my business-I just mean smeared mascara, or one eyelash is wonky or something is missing or blinding. If they intended to only do one eye and the other is naked, okey dokey-or maybe something went wrong and they got distracted. I accidentally wore different shoes, different earrings…. Etc. I’ve worn makeup my whole life, wouldn’t go outside without it… until about age 40 and I stopped caring. I was married with kids and it became a bother. I do still wear it for special events and when I’m in the mood, but no longer feel compelled to do so. And I realized I wanted my kids to see that it was OK not to. I didn’t want my daughter to feel compelled and my son to expect girls around him to do so. I want them to see that moms can camp, chop wood, not shower in the wilderness (lol) just like boys. That we are more than curling irons and lip gloss. Those things are fun and fancy but not necessary to life. And I think it has worked because they both don’t have that expectation on women and I’m grateful. 🥰 Since you asked… I disagree that gender isn’t real. My DNA is very real and can only be one of 2 biological options. Now, how people choose to portray themselves is a different matter. I’m seeing mainstream makeup companies like Cover Girl (etc) showing men wearing makeup in their ads. So, there must be a male market to sell to. I don’t think makeup is inherently female since stage makeup has existed forever and everyone uses it. These days we see it more in mainstream everyday life, so I think makeup being a construct for the male gaze might not be true anymore. Not all men who wear it are gay and not all women who do are straight, so the lines are blurred there. I think you’re right that it’s much more about the individual creating a look that bolsters their confidence. 👍

[@karenhaire5451]

Can we just say that not all makeup is good or appropriate or well-done? FACTS.

[@brittany16950]

*are you sure??*