You Don't Think You Deserve It | Mel Robbins

[@twheeler1980]

"Trying to self improve in isolation." Broke my brain!!! Story of my life.

[@pseudopuppy160]

3yrs later.... I hope you’re doing well & have your village of positive supporters.

[@mrfaizasian7925]

going through it rn

[@quadgod77]

Oof me too

[@happysoul_97]

Damn, me right now

[@mstwelvedeadlycyns]

Truth for me!

[@EmpressofChrist]

The reason why you wont change is because you think you dont deserve it💞. I've felt that way for 29 yrs. It is so hard to believe in yourself and truly do it and commit to it

[@simplyredislandgirl]

True!😔

[@rol407]

But it's true. I don't deserve or capable of accepting and getting it

[@carmenstana6688]

True, I am 29 and I feel the same 😔

[@flyingtovenus]

Im I’m the same position. I hope you believe in yourself now ✨

[@shannonchambers9270]

We got this guys! Including me too! We're gonna lift our heads up and we're gonna be the kings and queens that God made us all to be💪I don't care who doesn't like it! I'm here for it!🎉people can talk and be jealous allllll they want to but it's okay bc God sits High and He looks low! Only He knows and sees what's going on!✨🙏💯We're Royalty, y'all💜🔥💪✨👍💅💯

[@leannakekai162]

As a survivor of emotional abuse, I am so grateful that Mel Robbins is sharing her wisdom on this topic. I know that so many people need to hear this.

[@hannahdavis7600]

Yes allow your brain to recover and you deserve to be happy and focused best wishes.

[@PatriciaSmith-r4k]

Exactly what I feel

[@bluecatblu76]

Oh my God! This is me! I never seem to finish anything I start. My mum always said to me growing up and when I wanted to do something “you’ll never do that” or “ I can’t see you ever doing that” Now I’m so scared of failure I don’t try. I don’t want to prove my mother right. 😞😞

[@Lysana7]

You only fail if you don´t try. And if you try, you may make mistakes, but you´ll never fail... it´s just in our heads that we fail... because even if some business idea doesn´t work out, you´ll have learned so much from that experience and especially the mistakes, that it won´t be a mistake at all... at least you will have tried and I´m sure you won´t regret it in 1 year, or 5, or 10. Best of luck to you :)

[@darshnarach8889]

I so feel the same... this vid helped me though its a stepping stone

[@Alejosales]

This exactly. So scared of failure that I don’t even try. I already failed in my head.

[@melodyxu4382]

I had a similar experience growing up. There is a saying that "those that say you can't are scared that you will". This is your life. You are the one responsible for it. I realized that every time I worried if I was going to disappoint my parents, I was chained to their expectations. In order to break free, I had to start making my own decisions regardless of their opinions. There will be times where people won't be happy with your decisions, but the important thing is figuring out what you want and not letting those people's opinions hold you back from your dreams and goals.

[@NQQ613]

I experienced the same thing except I went the other way. it made me not try and prove my parents point of not being able to do it. I was also discouraged from many things because of my personality they just didn't believe I could do it. I was painfully shy as a child and even my teachers discouraged me the one time I volunteered to get involved. I was really upset but I didn't realise until recently I was just constantly told by others what I could and could not do and as a result at the age of 29 I feel like I never "grew up", I never went through the phase of exploring things and discovering my likes/ dislikes and who I am as a person.

[@DPmusicForTheMind]

I don't think im not good enough, I just always think I could be doing more than im doing so I never feel like I deserve to be carefree/happy.

[@josephzuniga3928]

5:03 "I don't think there's anybody in your life but you that's saying it." like WOAH

[@amely6932]

She's telling the truth. A lot of it is our parents. Mine is or was.

[@ah-ss7he]

Unfortunately.

[@vincejauron2779]

You look like a adult. If you still live with your parents, get out. Then take responsibility of your own feelings. NOW!!!

[@megaselfie6334]

Same here, but it is time to change

[@politereminder6284]

Let's hope to do better with our kids, but let's not forget to honor them as parents or to take responsibility for our own future.

[@TheCherryHomemaker]

Mine started with my dad, he was emotionally abusive which sent me into a chain of abusive relationships trying to find someone who would show me the love he never did and because of the things he always said I never thought I deserved better thankfully at 30 I finally realised I was, found someone who shows me everyday that I am worth it and it changed my whole life.

[@squreshi8413]

my mother always told me that ever since i was born, there was no blessing in her house. I constantly hear those words in my head decades later. everytime i get close to things finally working out in life- i massively self sabotage to keep myself in a state of failure. Ive pushed myself to take action before- but eventually fall back into the same pattern. Im going to watch this video everytime I start going this way- this video is a godsend!

[@boltoht]

This video spoke to me on a cellular level. Thank you for posting this.

[@melrobbins]

cellular! that's cool :) thanks for watching!

[@haryanvijatt2672]

@@melrobbins I was in a Abusive relationship for 5 years. It was emotional and mental abuse. 1.He was my childhood frnd ,we loved each other. 2.got committed after School when i was preparing for my Medical entrance exam. 3. I failed badly in exam coz i was too much distracted,he supported me....4. I tried again but could not make it....then He also started preparation for his job...5.then after he started ignoring me ,i got into depression and anxiety.... After getting job he finally said i am his friend only. I was shattered into pieces 😐....i was a brilliant student before and then after getting with him I become a failure and he became successful.. I also left him Now i have Self doubts, Regrets of wasting 5 precious years and my parents Money I feel ashamed and worthless.. But still trying to achieve my goals✌️

[@melissabaumann7704]

Self confidence begins with positive self talk! Thank you, Today, I take action!

[@lolarene210]

This makes perfect sense about my life. I wasn’t in a bad relationship, but I grew up with an alcoholic father and whenever he drank he would go on rants and lectures about my life and never felt good enough. I am almost 30 and I finally have come to these realizations about my thinking and past behaviors

[@rol407]

I'm almost 30 too. Feels I'm still nobody a child in grown man body was alone still feel alone will forever just asking God to take me soon how many decades of wasting on this earth

[@ruzicaremy6154]

@@rol407 i feel you, you are not alone. Find some people to support you! Best of luck!

[@ruzicaremy6154]

Same here, alcoholic father and narcissistic Mother. So much emotional abuse throughout growing up years..

[@rol407]

@@ruzicaremy6154 here alkoholic father and a woman beater brothers molesters school bullying other brother making me even more scared his way of helping me

[@PatriciaSmith-r4k]

Same here and three abusive relationships 💔

[@gailarmstrong7967]

I’m beginning to think you are psychic Mel. Once again you have talked about the exact thing I needed to hear this week. Although I don’t feel I was in any kind of abusive relationship at any time, I did live with parents who had high expectations of me, and I now know that my ‘thing’ is that I think I must have been a disappointment to them. They never told me that, it’s a story I made for myself and am still choosing to believe it. Thank you for bringing it to the fore this morning.

[@shootinblanks007]

Gail Armstrong I am in the same boat... As an adult I now understand why my dad was hard on me... unfortunately the residual effects of our difficulties linger in my adulthood... stay strong!!

[@StacyRocklein]

It's great you were able to get to the root of how that core belief was born! Try to work on forgiving yourself and forgiving them so you can move on and grow stronger :)

[@gailarmstrong7967]

Stacy Rocklein thank you! I have worked through the forgiving them phase, but now I think the disappointment is mine, and not theirs, I chose to shift it to them a long time ago. That’s where I’m stuck now. That’s what I need to work on. 😊

[@melrobbins]

So happy you had this moment of clarity. I promise your parents are not disappointed xo

[@SuperMusicalPassion1]

I have gone through this same thing

[@snirks8635]

True.. Mine was "You don't deserve to have anything that I don't have" I still struggle with it. I need physical evidence that I deserve it👐🏽

[@positivelight7906]

When I was at the gym today I did this high knee marching exercise while lifting weights above my head. While I was doing the exercise I kept envisioning the weights I was lifting above my head were my life goals. It was interesting that all of a sudden the weights felt precious and my goals felt more achievable. I mean if my goals were those weights than my goals were not that far away and were achievable. Afterall they were right there over my head and I was the one holding them. Thank you for your insightful and inspiring videos.

[@positivelight7906]

Maria Christina thank you for reminding me of what I experienced and what I wrote. It’s so amazing the positive effect we can have in each other’s lives. Peace Maria thanks

[@positivelight7906]

Maria Christina thank you. I know you have what it takes as well. Onward and upward! Peace and love to you

[@Feber2001]

Good visioning.

[@melodyxu4382]

Hi Mel, I really needed to listen to this. I went through extensive therapy to heal from a decade of emotional and physical abuse. In order to move forward with my life, I had to cut ties with toxic people. I realized that while I'm free from those people, I still deep down feel worthless a lot of the time because of the tapes that replay when I am not performing to my best of my abilities. Since I was a child, I was constantly told that I just didn't have the talent in math and science and was not good at anything. I used to believe those lies, but through therapy I finally understood how they deeply impeded my success. After some self reflection, I figured out that I want to get into digital marketing and want to learn more about apps. At first I dealt with a lot of self doubt. I thought, "nah I can't learn how to code. I was never good at math or science. It isn't realistic." However, I pushed through the fear and signed up for an online beginning coding class! In doing so, I showed myself that I believe I can learn this new skill! Thanks for all your videos. Your Ted X talk was really inspiring!

[@goat1401]

This literally brought tears...thank you Mel.

[@bethcourt9504]

Like Julia said in Pretty Women, the negative stuff is easier to believe.

[@Secretlyanothername]

Truth.

[@Michelle77Va]

Woman*

[@chaztikov]

finally i have a reason to watch pretty women

[@NotTodaySatan557]

omg this!! always have related to this line

[@paganbornspiritbear8249]

Sad but true.

[@beam8250]

Thank you, Mel. And to your guest in the audience for being vulnerable, and sharing her story to help others see themselves in her place. I've got some work to do! ❤️

[@eumolinalifestyle]

I haven’t even finished this video and you have no idea how much you are helping people... I’m so grateful I found this really changed my life...

[@dzana1198]

I am literally in tears, this resonates so much with me, and it is really helping me through a hard time right now. thank you.

[@user-xy4ff5yp7b]

Holy shit - 1 minute in and I already feel like she’s talking exactly about MY life!

[@debbiemckenna5]

My father was and is verbally abusive. I am almost 50yrs old and I still believe I don't deserve good things and sabatage jobs, relationships ect. I just today started a new job. I am soooo afraid I am going to do or say something or not going to do something. I started last Monday and so far I have been on time except 1x because I got lost. I know I need to be on time and do the paperwork. Thank you for your advice. I Do Deserve a job, a nice place to live and healthy relationships!!!!!!!😘

[@e.1766]

You sound like a really awesome person, wish I knew you so we could talk abt your job anxieties. I have that too, have sabotaged lots of stuff too. But also have walked from really toxic situations bc I loved myself Enough to do That anyway. But then seemed like whatever I left behind was fine, & I was the one who got hurt; stay or go. Don't know what to say abt That exactly, but I know that there must be a job/relationship/hobby I can do/enjoy/succeed at w/o feeling inadequate, so I keep at it. I'm sure your job is working out great, you might even find something you like Better Thru your current job. I hope we can train ourselves out of the negative programming; it's hard, but why Not us too?!? Why Not!! :)))

[@williamwagers1182]

I'm the master of self sabatoge.

[@rol407]

50? I'm so sorry. I myself just ask God to take me nothing changes and I don't want spend more decades in loneliness why put me on this earth to suffer. Someone more important could have taken my place instead me nobody here

[@montopssstudio6939]

I experience trauma from previous work, my current relationship and still unable to overcome, I always know what to do but unable to do it. I have a job that I dream of but feel don't deserve to have it. My life is ruined because of my self sabotage. I need an action, consistent in a week for me to break this pattern of negative mind. No one will come and push me, I have to parent my self.

[@tasyt1994]

I know how you feel. It took me several years to get over a bad workplace environment. But in that space of time I wasted with negative thinking, the others got on with their lives not even realising or caring I imagine what their actions did to me. In the end you only sabotage yourself by not moving on and pursuing your goals. I read somewhere, "No one cares about you". Obviously people do in your life but not to the extent you can to do what you need to do to make change happen. So it is up to you. Don't let others define your everyday goals.

[@Be4tric3]

It's so important the tone of the voice, the way you make empathy with people. Thank you!

[@smellylorenny]

This touched me so deeply, it was jarring to be told that my behaviour patterns and incessant failure to meet expectations of my own (currently for university studying for my career as a visual artist) is because I'm deeply affected by the way my mother perceives me and my successes. She is SO dismissive of my achievements, I got my art accepted into an overseas published artist collaborated book and she didn't even bat an eye. I constantly feel UNDERWHELMED by all of the things I DO achieve so why should I ever continue to try? Obviously my work is not making considerable waves because my own mum fails to see my potential... and she's one big reason I'm even doing art, she's exposed me to it my whole life. I was also in an emotionally abusive relationship for most of my teenage years (my first boyfriend from age 16-20) my whole personality now has been formed around that partner I had and we recently broke up, I feel so empty and worthless. He called me selfish and a horrible person because I told him I couldn't spend time with him if I had homework. I was so caught up in his opinion of me that i never even got my work done in the end and he'd waste all of my time by mentally ruining me. And now I'm living alone, both my mother and my ex are largely separate from my life, but those sentiments and feelings I am so used to continue to weigh me down, and I cannot exercise self control and to even tell myself I deserve the time spent to work. Thank you so much. Now I know that it's not just me. I know that it's because of my situation and I am experiencing time of deep healing and it's going to be a process to pull myself out of it.

[@pjp3158]

“(Don’t) try to change in isolation.” ~ Mel Robbins. 🙌🏻

[@nic3247]

I'm actually crying watching this because it's so true. I am literally just a year away from my dream job that I've worked damn hard for 8 years to get to and STILL 13 years out of a mainly emotionally abusive relationship I'm projecting on myself what he projected onto me. I thought I was over it. Clearly I still have some work to do on my self esteem! I love these videos so much. Thank you ❤

[@lauralaine8678]

Good advice! A decade of "Spinning in Place"

[@ZenWaveCinema]

Laura Laine me

[@cassiewho8803]

Same

[@damirapevec6203]

Yeah, and will continue to spin

[@ingainge3146]

At age of 44 i realize that all my life was based on insomnia and depression, panick attacks etc. I used to call this all as i am highly sensitive and emotional person and this is bullshit. I did not understand how to deal with my emotions, with the World. Now Mel Robins at this age is teaching me how to manage the life. I am single Mom now and feel like i am first class student at Mels Academy.

[@ericsantos8213]

Yes i feel guilt about myself and I feel I dont deserve things.

[@rol407]

Same I wish get some pills and sleep forever

[@oceanbreeze1873]

Thank you, Mel. I think for a long time I pushed away the idea of mental and emotional abuse. Particularly because it was a supervisor that was doing it and would do it in a weird way. He would create a narrative to point out that I couldn't do things based on how he thought he was better than me. This went on for 8 years. I mostly tried to keep my head down and just get my work done. But after all that time it exploded to the point were it was very clear that he never had any respect for me. Meantime, I respected him and I thought that because he was my supervisor that he knew better. I think it was mostly due to the work environment (scientific research and academia). I don't currently have a way to afford therapy. But it's videos like this that allow me to access resources to battle the self doubt and feeling of worthlessness that has been left residual of my experience. One of the things I regret the most is not standing up for myself and letting him bully me.

[@EQITOPIA]

THANK YOU SO MUCH Mel for this information. It hit's the nail right on the head for where I find myself time and time again. It was such a vague thing that I couldn't describe - and you've nailed it. By the sound of it, many people have this running in their lives. I am so excited about doing (yes, actually 'doing') this first thing tomorrow - and finding my steps forward out of the merry-go-round of monotony... and yes, from an abusive relationship that I found the strength to leave behind 25 years longer than I should have done. THANK YOU SO MUCH, AGAIN! :)

[@michy4400]

I never thought about it like this before. I need to let go of the past.

[@ShelleyG1014]

This is exactly why I’ve been stuck with not working out. Being told there is no progress for years was damaging and I’m ready to defeat that negative tape

[@cassiewho8803]

It’s like this message was a pure godsend that happen to be in my feed at the same time I decided to look... crazy.

[@wesferrell7500]

Omg. This connected. My childhood, I do to myself what I felt others were doing to me as a kid. Holy shit

[@LivinGreat]

Realizing old, unhelpful patterns are great, right? Now, you can make a good change.

[@wild_cub_times]

This is the first time I can actually watch and listen to these videos, so I watch this one over and over again.

[@michaelbateson8636]

I don't think there is anyone else now who says your not worth it apart from you..... you know Mel, you're right xxx

[@no-vo9bm]

I get this so much... I started feeling like I don't deserve happiness when I started feeling like I don't deserve love from the person I loved... But I really liked that person so I told myself I know what I have to do to feel like I deserve love... And I need to start doing it now because next time I fall in love I want to be able to ask it from them... I wasn't trying at all for life. Wasting my time, burying my mind in shows and video games. I am not perfect but... I'm not "trying" for life, I'm "doing" for life. I'm putting myself through the process. And there's no trying because I don't intend to fail... I know now the effort will never stop. My goal is to start by making it into a habit. Waking up, working out, working... I have to play the game of life if I want to succeed. If I want the happiness this world has to offer me... I have to appreciate and respect it first, then work for it... I'm just coming out of a very life changing realisation... I spoke with myself and I'm feeling quite bitter at the moment... So I just felt like writing something down to remind myself the lesson I learnt at so many costs... I tend to break my limits until I feel the danger in order to make a decision... I'm such a slow learner and I fear it might be the death of me... But I'm here, willing to spend my life changing this... Good luck to anyone out there who might've read this.

[@meiong5206]

For anyone who is watching this..I highly recommend you read the book The courage to be diskliked. It’s life changing.

[@JackedJuggernaut]

Thank you for this Mel Robbins! I just had this phone call with a friend and know so many people who are crippled in their growth because of this. Game changer!!

[@Serenityecocraft]

So powerful! Hit me today in the nicest possible way. In tears. Revelation! Thank you.

[@aquamarine0023]

I got so emotional hearing this, this was extremely profound. Favorited this and need to listen to this over and over every day.

[@boyeesevilla]

I needed to hear this tonight! Thank you! Brilliant!! I found out EXACTLY why I have been procrastinating on things I feel are most important to me... the source came from two places: my stepdad who molested me for many years.. he told me all the time that i would never amount to anything because I procrastinate.. also, I am a Taurus and I heard all the time from astrology that Tauruses are the laziest sign of all... now, I have a NEW MANTRA. What I will start saying to myself is: I AM TIRELESSLY HARDWORKING!! And I will start taking action NOW ON THIS!! Thank you so much for helping me to see my blocks!!! Yaaaaaaayyy!!!

[@keamogetsemakoe6075]

This video just spoke directly to me!!! I lived with my dad, who had certain expectations for me. I felt worthless all the time, it seemed like I didn't do anything right for him. He used the word "weak" and he used to be disgusted by me all the time. I resorted to over eating and over sleeping and it resulted to weight gain. I am currently not living with him anymore, and I find myself frustrated, as I am trying to self improve and loss weight, but I always go back to over-eating every time I get a little stress. It is really hard.

[@jollycolours]

I hope things are getting better for you, the first step is awareness, you're now aware of your repetitive behaviour, then you can plan for a counter action. I've had something similar, I have a dad who's very demeaning in what he says, which made me feel that I was a failure and that I was undeserving. I went on taking mini action to change, back and forth and 10 years later I'm a much different person who now feels I'm good enough for all the good things I want, am also pursuing my dream life and career, with someone who loves me. Big hugs to you, it'll take some time for you to experience major change, but every single day, you'll be getting a wee bit better, and it'll all add up. 🤗🤗

[@Daniel-yh9dz]

I'm exactly the same as this person! I've been mentally abused since basically since birth by my toxic parents, I've had PTSD for 4 years, I've planed to move out for months but still haven't take much action yet. With the assistance of your video, I've just figured out that I was in a circle in the past few month. watch a beautiful movie/story, talk to someone on internet→feel happy, worthful and confident→got abused→feel sad, worthless and scared→watch... If I don't do anything, I'll never be able to have enough time to slowly build up enough confidence to move out, to get out of my comfort zone, and actually, if they abuse me even harder or something else goes wrong in this circle, I'll never getting out of here. If I want to make my life better, I need to do something, to leave right now, whether by moving out or kill myself, while I still have some courage, otherwise I'll be stuck in hell forever. I DESERVE TO NOT STUCK IN HELL, I DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE.

[@humanityandme]

Definitely move out best life decision you can make and stay out... Support yourself with a job. You got this

[@hannahdavis7600]

Very best wishes and yes allow yourself to move on be focused happy and enjoying life.

[@Feber2001]

How are you doing now?

[@anthonysmith7934]

Oh my God! Mel this is so spot on with me! Thank you for your vulnerability and transparency oh God! I am tearing up

[@rosaluxish]

Wow, thank you Mel! I've just realized that there is a believe I have about myself, wich impacted and explanes every single relationship and 80% of the dicisions I did (or mostly didn't) make in the past ten years. It's unbelievable.

[@katara9]

Thank you so much. I've spent most of my life so far trying to understand why I don't move forward!

[@ezgi2606]

I just love her!!❤️❤️so smart and make it easier to put in action! Thank you soo much Mel!!🙏🏻❤️

[@dconeyart]

Mel this was incredible content that I surely needed to hear. It’s been extremely hard for me the last few weeks mentally and this hit it on the head. Thank you for the empowering content!

[@Divine_healing]

I grew up in an abusive home where I was told that I was stupid and unlovable it has crippled my life

[@RTL2L]

Ok, Jordan Peterson is my father figure, and now you, dear madam, is my mother figure. It was a very clear and true message. Thank you a lot!

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

I love this and I agree!

[@ali18398]

Thanx Mel exactly exactly what I needed to hear! I take it out on my 6 yrs old girl! Its sad I know and I improve things with her but then life happens and bam! Its a vicious cycle! But IAM GOING TO BREAK IT! I'LL KEEP WORKING! 💕

[@melrobbins]

you will break it if you keep working xo

[@soulywomen]

Nida, i do the same and then the guilt kicks in. The only way out of it is to kick our way out! Let's show our kids what a healthy and confident mom looks like!

[@kimberlycopple609]

Powerful and True! I LOVE Divine Timing!! I went though the same thing and last year I got a life/business coach and that has been a blessing so that I can "Get out of my head" and "Do the Action steps" to building my business! It FEELS GREAT!! Thank you for sharing!! HUGS!!

[@Vidadrainer]

Thank you so much for this. I already changed a lot but i struggle with keeping myself positive and i do 10 things that i never thought i will do but just because 1 of them perhaps didnt do that well i got demotivated... Also i abuse myself. No one is saying anything bad about me but myself and that reflects to others. It's incredible how difficult can become sometimes!! As i said thank you so much! Saludos desde Argentina! (Salutations from arg.)

[@toughsoftieyogi]

*Very* , *very* powerful message. Thank you for this, Mel. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for sharing your gift to the world. You are a blessing to everyone. *Thank you* .

[@bettyholl9382]

I have been spinning wheels for a week. Since I read your book. 54321 move! Isay! And sometimes I really get going. But the big stuff? My big goals? Im paralyzed. And not liking myself. And then there you go Mel. You really, really gave me that aha! I got it answer today. The abuse is over I won't stand for it. But boy can I be mean to myself. Youve given me the realization that I dont have to stand for that either. I feel so fricking relieved right this minute I just had to tell you. Thank you Mel!

[@juliepetri2484]

Omgosh!!! I don’t hear the TONE either! I can even be trying and thinking in my head that it is better and they look at me and say, really?, no.

[@Soundcloud765]

You are amazing! Thank you! Wish you all the best in your life!

[@nikitakorobkin205]

First comment ever. The advice I’ve been in need for so long... Now I understand that all the frustration and procrastination I’m experiencing is because I don’t trust myself. Really, I am starting to notice that in my head, I just can’t rely on myself. Really helpful. I’ll be taking overthinkingless action every day for 7 days. I think it’s really important to return the self-trust. It’s probably the most harmful problem I’m dealing with at the moment which causes all the other shit. Thanks again!

[@organicallyhannah]

Resonated 100%

[@StacyRocklein]

I agree!

[@alisa9676]

Please never leave this planet! You are so amazing!

[@WhatsCookingTime]

Mel Robbins I've watched lots of motivational videos in my life and I've had some success. but to have you explain the reasoning behind everything really clarifies it and is helping me put myself back together. Thank you so much ❤️

[@melendrezc]

This made me cry 😭 Thank you !!

[@shaniecegullison]

Same thank you

[@bowie1dog]

This was spot on for me! Love your 5 second rule audiobook. I listen to it everyday!

[@janetspiteri5043]

You're awesome Mel thanks for the straight to the point no B.S. and no pretending. ❤

[@krystenme6841]

It really does relate a lot. To me it was all the “ what a disappointment ! I thought she was so intelligent but it was just a random happening” and being bullied cause I liked reading at school. Plus all the you will never be able to do that, I really don’t see you doing that, you don’t even know what it takes. All the pressure from the you could be doing more, lead to a constant fear of disappointing people and self sabotage, cause if people stop expecting so much from you then you won’t risk disappointing them.

[@SkitterNSnicklez]

I like that she pointed out not to improve in isolation because it's exactly what I'm trying to do, but I would like to hear more about how I can improve myself with others helping me? Like, how do I open myself up to changing in front of people? I guess I'm so afraid to make mistakes along the way in a public manner to where I try to hide my self improvement until I feel like I've improved enough to show it, but it is certainly harder that way. I guess for me I was told who I am by my father for so long that it's hard to be my own person.

[@dorindab3135]

Oh my God! This is so incredibly spot on! Love the Russian language example. It hit home. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!👍❤

[@charlenelaguer7072]

Wow! this was super helpful and right on target for what I'm going through in my work and personal life story as well. Thanks so much Mel!!! As always, you're awesome!!!

[@monicanomvuyo]

Mel you just spoke to me directly...I have someone in my life I can't get away from that speaks down to me so much that it has become my inner voice. Please make a video specifically on the topic of emotional abuse and it's effect on a person and how to move away from it.

[@ht7cs]

Not always the WORDS people have said, but the way they treat you, like you can't do anything right or you don't have anything worthwhile to contribute. There are many ways to make a child (or adult) feel small. Even a well-meaning parent can screw with a kid's head by pressing too hard or by not letting them accomplish things for themselves. I wish I could take back about 5000 impatient "Here, just let me do it"'s.

[@TheLDRdiaries]

I’m so glad I found you Mel. Really sound advice. Hope you’re well in these times

[@jennifergreathousewellness]

Thank you for doing what you do to help others (me) see the why and learn awareness.

[@philmorrison6898]

Thank You! When the student is ready, a teacher will appear! Just what the doctor ordered! Thank You again!!!

[@JenFarrer]

This was exactly what I needed to hear ❣️ I’ve had a similar experience to the woman you were speaking with & it is ingrained in my head & when you said the thing about spinning it was 100% right! Thank you for sharing this!

[@evelinboerner2160]

Such a clear and condensed message without the emotional blah-blah. This really came to me at a right time after I've tried so many things and her words really hit me head on. Thank you for this truly self-empowering message and emphasizing the power of choice and personal responsibility.

[@dannetterayburn8903]

LOVE THIS! I did not realize until I listened to this of my self doubt! I know how it started and how it keeps happening. I am always sorry and I shouldn't be. Thank you so much.. You make me think of new ways to do and say things and this is amazing! I guess I can say you have become a mentor for me... Much needed

[@kimreid1781]

Thank you for being you and delivering the messages you were made to share. Saved my life today.

[@ShSh-jp9nd]

This took me out of a really dark place Thank you sooo muuuch❤️

[@meghass]

Hello Ma'am. The minute you started asking the questions it just hit me so hard i could not stop crying for the whole video. When i think about my past i always end of thinking that its again my mistake that i am not able to move past it because the only way i used to see out is trying to forget it. But the solution you mentioned in the video i have this feel that it will help. I will start to do it. I am not sure how will i start or if at all i will be able to complete but i will start and give my best. Thanks a LOt Thanks

[@johnsayre2038]

Well, never thought I would say this, but I may just want to watch a daytime t.v. show now. This lady drops hard-earned wisdom.

[@chocolatcats]

for all your videos...thank you for helping me choose MY OWN LIFE.

[@SpiritualChocoholics]

Excellent advice

[@WhitfordPR]

This is so incredibly powerful and profound. This hits home so deeply

[@mikiram6288]

Thanks Mel! You´re so powerful together and you spread it so lovingly and effectively! You kick ass! keep it up and thanks again for helping us so much!

[@jorgeescamilla5422]

Thank You Mel. You have no idea how much you've helped me overcome one of my many personal issues.

[@thorboy666]

Love you ma'am. You may have saved my life. Thank you.

[@alternativestate4237]

Thank you, Mel. This session could have been me. You've got me thinking!

[@lisaw6219]

I had so many "ah ha" moments during this... Love this woman!

[@staciaphillips7088]

This is so good! Wise teacher.

[@BrightenSouls]

Exactly what I needed to hear, right now. Thank you Mel.

[@mamaspage1643]

I feel like idnt deserves success, as u explained it i started.crying because abused by my father.i got a though childhood,my Other passed when i was a baby my whole life was hard.got to go hide in a corner dnt want my kids to see me crying like that.i luv ur channel

[@ketsune23]

I just found this channel yesterday suggested by KZbin after watching a video from Jim Kwik and I'm so glad that it exists. I watched your TEdtalk some couple of months ago but I didn't know you owned a channel. Subscribed and keep on the excellent work it is helping me to change things.

[@Empress_Dominique]

I'm glad I found this. Thank you very much.

[@keekeedavis3521]

Here it is! I found the session here- that deeply resonates with me. From birth to 44 now I’ve had almost constant verbal/mental/emotional abuse and although i am Very empathic and I love-love and I constantly tried all my life and have broken countless chains and habits and I so love business and entrepreneurship ALL my life BUT i am negative, I can not stop this cycle at least for very long. This video hit home Mel BUT my problem is the consistency. I am also ADD (after being misdiagnosed the last 16 years I was finally correctly diagnosed with ADD 4 years ago) and I take medications but becoming “sleepy” or over-focusing on other time wasters like social media or the phone in general and so on has consumed most of my time and then I beat myself up for it. I’m trying to run my newest (home) business and it’s become a pretty good hit for several around my areas BUT I’m killing it too, as usual. So I’m just down and throwing my hands up and sulking or ignoring the obvious to do list and IT HURTS! 😞

[@keekeedavis3521]

I’m well aware of self-sabotage. Hell I thought I made up that term myself actually lol. And the only thing I am consistent with is being inconsistent. And I DO for some odd reason think I don’t deserve to be successful or sincerely happy and so on. It sucks!! I feel like I am ALL the puzzle pieces together but...they are all still in the box

[@sebastienbeaudal]

@@keekeedavis3521 I am currently sitting in my car, in a neighborhood where I just dropped my partner since we are door to door salesmen. As of today I have not been able to sell anything for the last three months. My mother has been financially assisting me for the last few months, fortunately enough, however it's also a double-edged sword since she also becomes involved in my life affairs and I'm 29 years old. I should be able to provide for myself if my education was successful, yet here I am, on february 2nd, completely paralyzed by fear of knocking on doors because I feel like I don't even deserve to succeed right now. I feel like my dreams and ambitions are so out of reach that I can't even bring myself together and do what I've been constantly doing for the last 8 months. Why am I so scared to fail when I don't even have anything to lose anymore? I feel so stupid right now through what I'm going through I can't even bring myself to call my mentor which has been coaching us for the last 8 months. I know I need to act but the mere idea of knocking on a door right now is overwhelming.

[@sebastienbeaudal]

@@keekeedavis3521 I'm replying to you because I literally feel like the second part of your message; like I have every pieces to accomplish myself and yet I can't bring them together out of guilt over the fact I don't even deserve to succeed. I know success is not something one pursues, it's something we become, and I know it's because I don't consider myself worthy enough and only action will solve this, but it scares me shitless. I'm so self aware of my self-sabotage and yet for some reason I don't want to break the cycle it's driving me crazy

[@unknownpersonal7591]

You really struck a nerve with something I've been struggling with most of my life. Food for thought..

[@tonymatthews8095]

Thanks for just being you

[@anthonyholley2796]

Excellent teaching and advice!