You have to TEACH people how to FEEL about you: the essence of game

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When people first meet you, they look to you to teach them about how they should feel about you. This is because, it's actually fairly difficult for most people to make up their own minds: so they're going to need your help. This is your opportunity! The key to getting people to feel positively about you is to imagine that you are world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman. I'll explain what that means in this episode.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #confidence

[@psychacks]

When people first meet you, they look to you to teach them about how they should feel about you. This is because, it's actually fairly difficult for most people to make up their own minds: so they're going to need your help. This is your opportunity! The key to getting people to feel positively about you is to imagine that you are world's greatest vacuum cleaner salesman. I'll explain what that means in this episode. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #confidence

[@applesnicolle5144]

🎆🍁🍎🍊Hey Orion! Is today your BIRTHDAY??! You go Libra

[@jim-se5xc]

Empty the ashtray on her carpet and go to work.

[@tedwallace9828]

excellent video, couldn't have explained it better myself

[@armandsseimors1663]

There is a guy in the upper comment i made whos swindling people with a fake account of yours

[@josephfilm73]

There are some who will pick up on a seller's attitude. It has to be genuine belief, not BS.

[@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT]

Guys. If you trick someone into buying you don’t be surprised when you get tossed in the trash when they find out you aren’t what was promised. Focus on continually developing yourself to stay ahead of the market. The product will sell itself as long as it is visible in comparison to the competitors.

[@EE12CSVT]

💯

[@alejandrobonilla4130]

Agree!!

[@kobiyariyari5290]

100%

[@gabriellaluzpm]

100%. More than that, if you just show the results little talk is needed. My ex was an expert of selling himself, talking about himself, making promises he never intended to follow through. It doesn’t last. Become what you sell at least.

[@angelroseglow]

@@gabriellaluzpm Came here to say that. All this "market" advice is creepy. In fact this whole video is creepy. Men are marketable merchandise - not people? Hmm... Women don't know what they want? Men need to show us what we should want? It's like some men don't don't know how to NOT be misogynists. Haha, boy I have got news for men, I know what attracts me and no guy is gonna influence that. You are either a geniunly good person - with a healthy ego and humility, morals and integrity, educatedand and intelligent, emotionally intelligent and know how not take life so seriously - or you're not. It's a whole package. Women like me see through the marketing gimmicks. This isn't the old days anymore. We don't go for guys who look fancy or like a good "product". We want men who act like decent human beings and will respect us as such - for life! The rest is just personality and character. No man is gonna sell us something we don't want, period!

[@daktraveler56]

Act like a person worthy of respect and you will get it. Treat people the way you want to be treated. With respect.

[@Peaches-i2i]

Powerful cope

[@syressx9098]

@@Peaches-i2i You meant - amazing advice

[@SharperPenImageConsulting]

@@Peaches-i2i LOL the way I want to be treated is differently by different people, just as I treat others (since people aren't the same), but I know people love their "scripts."

[@hira1248]

Actually u can't treat everyone on how u wanna be treated, u treat someone how u wanna be treated to teach them how to treat u, but u should treat someone on how they wanna be treated coz everyone is different, and sometimes they just not so worth it to treat nice, if they treat u wrong, use mirroring effect so u can teach them 1 or 2 lessons. But ofc u should treat others with respect if they r nice to u. And never trust anyone, coz they will and they can to mess with u. Always be careful❤

[@daktraveler56]

@@hira1248 preach, sister ! FACTS.

[@mdhazeldine]

I've always found sales a struggle. As a customer, I have an inherent distrust of sales people because I know they're obviously not going to tell me about the products flaws, so I prefer to do my research, look at reviews, compare specs and get recommendations. So I feel like whenever I am trying to sell myself, whether it be in my business or with women, that they are thinking the same kind of things that I would be.

[@andersnielsen6044]

All this comes down to some trust-issues inside you.. You have to work on that.. ;)

[@mdhazeldine]

@@andersnielsen6044 I don't trust salespeople because they are motivated to make the most money possible, whether they tell the truth or lies, so a lot of them lie for personal financial gain. I wouldn't call that a "trust issue", I'd call that being a savvy consumer.

[@hasantylou7670]

what are you talking about? I also think like that. Many people think like that. I hate when they try to sell me stuff and i hate ads with a passion. I find it really hard to "sell" myself without mentioning my flaws cause its like going against my values@@andersnielsen6044

[@marshall886]

Salesmen sell you what you don't want...

[@hipsternihilist3928]

@@marshall886 only you made the decision to purchase; only you make the decision to stick around and listen to their spiel

[@umvemnyama]

I use to get more success socially when I cared about how people perceived me. Now that I don't, people are attracted to my mysteriousness (because I keep to myself), but they don't stick around for very long or don't even approach but just look at me a lot (girls are notorious at this). I think because of my closed off demeanour, I have communicated that I'm unavailable which leads to less people approaching or even engaging in contrast to when I was open and putting myself out there. I find that people even put up tough exteriors because I'm intimidating to them. I certainly see the value in putting yourself out there and presenting yourself in an ideal way but also authentic to you. I just don't think I have it in me to care if I'm accepted or desirable anymore. What matters now is that I connect rather than have a lot of options socially. This is especially true when it comes to dating. I guess the moral of my comment is that sometimes you mature in a way that teaches you that you don't actually like a lot of people and that's okay; so you don't have to "sell yourself". Living the way you want is enough to attract people and those who stay are those you should care about anyway.

[@edehalikaya6081]

That was lovely to read. I think we all get to this point in this life and it all feels so freeing.

[@markray2496]

Amen to this. I have found this way as well, it's so much easier.

[@joshuad24]

I’m getting here

[@erwangaillard1637]

Exactly what I ‘m going through right now thanks for putting the words

[@JohnADuerk]

Well put!

[@johnpatterson6448]

“You have no obligation to help her reject you”. Great line.

[@Dora-wc8be]

Once trust is broken with someone, it can never be regained. The sole reason is fear. The fear that will happen again restricts us from trusting others again. When someone breaks our trust many of us appear to be calm, but 'just appear' somewhere deep inside there is restlessness, the battle going on between heart and brain, and we let the brain overpower. Trust has to be earned, its not something you just do. Thanks.

[@rejectwokeness1314]

Great point. And if you're betrayed or lied to you shouldn't ever forgive this person because they'll continue to do it. Cos the fact they tried to undermine you once showed your value to him (ie low), if he treasure your relationship he won't do it to begin with. I've lost many "close friends" and even "family" throughout the years but I've not lost sleep over this because they have moved on from me before they betray me, it's already a dead relationship before the incident itself, except that I only know it after that.

[@prameshsahu1957]

If someone who isn’t meant for you,then why take into even the consideration? You still have to put your best foot ahead and present yourself with how you are and what you want ur future partner to see in urself…In your head you love the image and idea of the person that u created,but if turned out it’s not what it is!,then it’s unfortunate and a pity ..And you should be glad this happened and the truth is out OR should you have been happy if the fake and camouflaged version of ur partner was presented to you throughout and you would have never found the true nature or truth itself?

[@schroederluck7984]

Is it really fear? Or is it just a logical conclusion that it's best not to trust that person moving forward? Creating way too much emotional reaction out of a simple concept. I'm not afraid of being lied to again; I'm being wise by not putting myself in a position to be lied to by someone who has problems with the truth.

[@steelearmstrong9616]

@@schroederluck7984 everything we do is out of fear and love

[@Mannysantos035]

I love the way he articulated the idea of no good or bad just features. Reminds me of Socrates quote “All things are indifferent, good and evil exists only in the mind.”

[@andersnielsen6044]

Spot-on

[@harisdiz.5817]

How is stealing someone's property or life not indifferent? What you're saying is that if i see theft and murder as a good thing, it's fine.

[@misspriss2482]

Bullshit. If someone rapes and dismembers someone you love, I guarantee you will not see their actions this way.

[@whitneyrose9293]

They're saying it's all in your mind and about perspective Also, can be used as for non accountability though

[@exnihilonihilfit6316]

That's just saying value exists only in individual minds. There's no such thing as "floating" values. Values and without valueR. That's a point against what they call "intrinsicism" - the claim intrinsic values exist.

[@markrcca5329]

I did some of this when I came to the United States as a teenager from Eastern Europe. I read the book "How to win friends and influence people", which gave a lot of similar advice. Good book, I highly recommend it. It certainly helped a lot with basic communication with native-born Americans, but it didn't make me into some kind of social butterfly or pickup artist.. In the end, I'm still much more comfortable and successful interacting with people from the same region of the world as I am.

[@JohnM...]

That book is hugely based on ‘going out of your way to please people’ which is garbage advice. Be a doormat? No thanks.

[@talknight2]

@@JohnM... It's really not. It's all about how to make the other person feel good around you.

[@JohnM...]

@@talknight2 Personally I’m sick of doing that. I’m a reforming people pleaser, so that book just makes me heave a little bit. 😆

[@markrcca5329]

@@JohnM... that's just a matter of balance. the right amount of something can be good, but too much of that same thing can be bad.

[@applesnicolle5144]

🎆Mark - Agreed! One always feels better around ppl of similar National & cultural background… In fact, foreigners marrying Americans is not smart in most cases…

[@mikepaulus4766]

At 24 I walked into a Navy recruiting center. The recruiter offered to answer any questions I had, but said as little as possible. He knew that I was already over 90% sold on the Navy. He couldn't talk me into it, but he didn't need to, he could easily talk me out of it.

[@grinningchicken]

As a sales guy the customers 90% of the way take the most skill. Newbies do great with them because they don’t know enough to screw it up yet. 😂

[@sheezy2526]

They only need dumb ones for the forces, so they can go die for large cooperation's that govern everything. Maybe u looked too smart.

[@kjbrocky]

In one word: Confidence

[@Khan-rz8qi]

This is going to sound insane, but as a man you can only acquire the confidence for true game by accepting your inherent power over women with no shame and see yourself as superior. The twist here is that you must also treat women with love and understanding their mindsets and emotions. You can’t allow your brain become too misogynistic because it’s going to mess up the balance. At that stage spitting game to even 9s and 10s is gonna be light work because you’ll see yourself as inherently better than all women. Men only fall short with game because they view women as above themselves and as creatures that have to be constantly catered to. The Key is; Dominance, Understanding the female mind and body, while simultaneously showing them love and genuine appreciation. And remember, don’t let total misogyny overcloud your brain, because you won’t be able to authentically pull it off.💯💯

[@gintoki_sakata__]

It's weird isn't it 😂 And women legit wanna feel less than you but not acknowledge it That's why a dependable man whom she can't control is so attractive to her

[@hohuunguyen-4756]

How old are you?

[@poifish7442]

painfully true

[@ontheline3077]

another delusion

[@carlospita6442]

If it wasn’t for our sexual desire we literally would find women disgusting. No loyalty , hypergamy , briffaults law , monkey branching , hibristrofilia. How can you love this creatures??

[@grinningchicken]

Yes. As a sales guy this is all facts. Present your product confidently tell a story sell the sizzle not the steak overcome objections before them present themselves have confidence in the pricing and the close is easy.

[@animaiscool]

“Understand who your customers actually are and practice indifference to the opinions to those that aren’t in your client base” this is a great statement. Looking at myself as a business helps out a lot and gives me focus

[@thaboulevard8686]

Look at yourself as a man who desires women. It's not rocket science. Be yourself. Learn the art of conversation. Make her laugh. Listen to her. Ask her about her. Don't be a business, just be yourself. Freshly showered, dressed in a way you feel confident, and smelling good always helps. Women aren't scary, they are actually pretty fucking awesome. Though some do bite, but only if you're lucky 😉

[@loryjones7220]

​@@thaboulevard8686This is the BEST and healthiest comment I have ever read. ❤️ Thank you! Spread the word.

[@yzma6142]

A man’s energy tells me everything. It does NOT matter what he looks like. If the energy is off, I now listen.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Or he is just autistic/neuroatypical. This "energy" bs is completely hogwash, it's all about looks, money, status/preselection, and neuronormativity. Pressing your right buttons and giving the proper signals making you willing to submit.

[@11Garrett11]

If the energy is off you listen? What do you mean? Maybe that was a typo?

[@yzma6142]

listen to my intuition @@11Garrett11

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Amen

[@loryjones7220]

If the energy is off, I walk away. Why would you listen?

[@Robbyrool]

Older models can be less desirable to some people, who want new, but MORE desirable to others, who prefer classics. Often, newer products are not made as well, lower quality. They don’t make ‘em like they used to. Same is true of people. Don’t feel like being older is worse. Depends on the other person. Some prefer the wisdom and work you’ve done to improve your personality. They don’t want a millennial. Others do. Don’t worry about those ones.

[@ezycuberz4563]

Came to gain social dominance, ended up selling vacuum pumps

[@reedoburrito7456]

I read this comment befor i watched the video and was so confused lmao

[@ArgentPure]

That's funny! I sold vacuums for 11 years. I had a few people buy from me because their dog liked me. Apparently the pooch never liked salesmen.

[@alfonso8843]

Invaluabe information Dr. Taraban. People fail to see the message between the lines in your sales analogy but I found it extremely insightful. Trust in your product, trust in yourself and understand that not everyone is going to like you. Thanks!

[@seeking37]

I lived in my van throughout most of my twenties and never had trouble getting laid. It wasn’t even a particularly nice van.. the reason I had no issue was because how I framed it. I was clearly happy about my decision to live in this way and saw so many reasons as to why it was a good way to live and women were attracted to my passion for it and my disregard for other peoples opinions of it. Great summary Orian 👌

[@GoJojo-lv6zi]

Certain women. Orion's premise is based on the assumption that the woman in question only has a vague desire for what she wants, if that isn't the case, then his advice becomes irrelevant. The women who had vague desires may have been convinced to look past your van and still sleep with you because they likely did not know whether or not they truly wanted a relationship or who with. Some women may eventually say they want a relationship once they are sleeping with someone and aren't in one, because by experiencing what they don't want it becomes clear what they do want. The women, for example, who already knew they weren't going to sleep with someone they weren't in a serious relationship with, and a man that has lived alone for at least 2 years, and is saving towards buying a house, etc -- they weren't ever going to consider you and your van as a viable option for any kind of intimate relationship simply because you were passionate about it. Only someone without clarity or who also wanted to live in a van could be convinced. That could be a good thing -- you find your people that way.

[@davidlongson449]

@@seeking37 I can't agree with you more well said 👏 I'm 60 I also am living in a van by choice- women I meet get van life 💯 they love the idea of total freedom, the simpler life, the traveling, the stepping off of the treadmill of life the changes in scenery and activities. Waking up somewhere else, feeding your eyes something they have not seen before, setting your feet where they have not previously tread is all good for one's soul and perspective. It's not about getting away from myself (I like me), it's getting away from "the system". Trying to lead a simple life, with nobody telling me what to do or how to behave and live my life. Most people just temporarily change location, posting pictures of the things they were told to be amazed at. That ain’t traveling, that’s another form of conspicuous consumption (capitalism). Peace 🙏

[@marktapley7571]

If she’s initially attracted to you, not much selling is needed to get your foot in the door. If she’s not, then your sales pitch is most likely going to be an exercise in futility.,

[@EE12CSVT]

That's the part he leaves out

[@kerynl.sanchez9891]

It’s true. Just move along if that happens!

[@keylanoslokj1806]

​@@EE12CSVTmost red pillers do leave genetics out the convo cause it's bsd for their business

[@marte1376]

Yeah and women are attracted to healthy, good looking with good social skills men. Not just a random incel that believes he deserves something when in reality he has nothing and has a lot to work on himself

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@marte1376 noone gives a fuck what the useless gender wants pal. We can just pillage and conquer that shit any day like in the good ol times. Democracy is an experiment allowed BY MEN. And er could take it back anytime

[@steelearmstrong9616]

In my 40’s and really cannot be bothered playing these childish games and really don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I know to much about people to know that it isn’t worth it. Plus i wouldn’t be my authentic self by portraying someone I’m not. It takes to much energy and not worth the reward. The reward is not real, it’s fake. This is not living. You are merely existing to keep everyone happy. Once you revert back to your authentic self the reward is lost. Good luck with being fake

[@EE12CSVT]

Same here, and the point that Dr Orion doesn't make is that you've got to keep up that impressive sales tactic forever to keep her around. It's also not a purchase of a vacuum cleaner, it's the continued renting of one month after month for hopefully the rest of her life. Using his analogy, you have to keep doing this all day, every day until either you or she dies of old age, just to prevent her from deciding to rent another instead. You should be able to present your authentic you with the minimum effort and not do it to sell to people. In other words, you should be able to just exist happily, and if someone comes along who likes that, fine, without you then having to sell to her. This is what I found during my dating and casual affairs in the 90s. They came to me because they liked what they saw, and hung around because they liked it. What Dr Orion is saying only applies to women who are grossly delusional to their value.

[@fredrikdippel3664]

You don't have to fake it. It's about the first impression where you should be the best version of yourself, not someone else.

[@tigreytigrey8537]

Uhhh it's called SELF IMPROVEMENT. lol. Why does it have to be faked?

[@iTammy]

Amen to that so much! 🙏🏼

[@iTammy]

@@tigreytigrey8537because it just is 🤷🏻‍♀️ We live in the Narcissist era, we first need to overcome them, if that even is possible! I am very happy by blocking the bad gutters out! I want to live, I can do that whit the best people, my family and a few friends! The more you let yourself in with strangers because you say that is good for me, the more I literally don’t wanna waste my time, I feel better not taking risks anymore! That makes me the happiest! No fake people anxiety’s anymore 🎉🎉 Haaaalelujaaaa 🙏🏼😎 I

[@TenaciousThunder1971]

You have no idea what your content is doing to me. Thank you for showing me I am a strong and powerful man, or so I can be one. Thank you Dr🙏🏿

[@rawcrazycomrade]

I love this! I've been practicing seeing myself in a better light so I don't help the customer find flaws in me

[@dan6442]

I have this vacuum cleaner. It's a great vacuum cleaner. It's a classic vac at 66 years of age! This vacuum cleaner is small and compact at 5'5", and very maneuverable. My vacuum is a self-start that requires minimal maintenance and is self-propelled. Did I mention that it is a "Classic", that comes with its own insurance. It is also a military issued model. Which means that it has been misused for years and keeps going. You should invest in this vacuum cleaner now, while the cost is low. 😆

[@Me-eb3wv]

Cute!

[@z0rak]

I love the McDonald's doesn't care bit. "there are tons of people that are critical of fast food, but they ain't buyin Big Macs" 👏👏👏 bravo sir

[@sontodosnarcos]

As someone from a South American country living in a Westerm European country, I can tell you that it is hard to be liked or accepted by the people from this country. Many will still look at you like some kind of weirdo they can never fully trust or figure out, no matter how nice, trustworthy or decent you are. It is a different culture with different mindsets, expectations, body language, shared rituals, etc., and we are and never will be on the same page. On the other hand, interacting with people from my same part of the world I immediately connect and feel respected and valued.

[@nickdobrov]

It's called xenophobia, and it's a human instinct.

[@ricomajestic]

What country?

[@diplomatamaravilhosa2813]

There will always have those who like weirdos

[@lilyromaineshank8649]

Another life-changing episode, thank you Orion! This is everything ❤

[@jlecampana]

Why is this everything for a woman? You don’t need any psychological tactic to win a man over other than show up and be pretty.

[@robindunkel9834]

I relate. Two years ago, and currently as well, I’ve had phases in which I carried myself more seriously, less looking for approval from others. This time was triggered by standing up to my best friend when I felt he acted unfairly towards me. In between I was (am at times) very insecure although it doesn’t really show - people told me I seem self-assured. Even so, I notice a difference of respect expressed towards me between those two modes which is incredible, the difference between a mediocre, unfulfilled and a hell yeah life. Someone feels this?

[@EE12CSVT]

Standing up to people, showing them you have a backbone and they can't use you just makes things worse IME as they ostracise you. Good luck trying to find anyone who doesn't use you either at a professional level or just friendship.

[@Crustee0]

I read in Models (by Mark Manson) that people attract alike people. And it stuck with me, and the longer i think the more it makes sense. If you are honest, you would want other people to also respond back with honesty, thus the social circle will be mostly people that are up to the "honest" standard. Thus its also believable if we change our behaviour to "look" self assured even though the inside might not be true, people that are looking for such thing in other people would also be indirectly attracted and might say we look like it.

[@Goaskval]

I’ve been selling myself on practicality and ideas such as--when it’s time to grow or just maintain inner peace. I’m also learning how to incorporate indifference for loftier outcomes (rather than sour grapes syndrome). Beyond basic needs and a few pleasures, I won’t over task myself into stress--Makes all the difference in being an “above average happy” person.

[@Turtleface869]

Compiling some knowledge here. I recently learned women don’t neurologically are incapable of making decisions without establishing a framework to make them. I used to use self deprecating humor to ease the tensions on first dates until I saw that most of them don’t get the joke, these are not unobvious things either, but it does seem mostly true that whatever it is that you tell a woman that you are is what she is going to believe. Second I learned dissolving a woman’s tension often times turns them off not on.

[@Turtleface869]

To add to this. I found what you get when you sooth a woman’s tension away is the line “ you seem like a really nice guy but I just don’t feel attracted”.

[@inconnu4961]

@@Turtleface869 Very astute observations. it seems like EVERYTHING we are told to do, is the opposite that works to 'attract' women. these things may work to keep them, but NOT to attract them.

[@brownsnob]

Underrated comment.

[@Turtleface869]

@@inconnu4961 attraction is primal retainment is spiritual

[@diplomatamaravilhosa2813]

Self deprecating jokes is a HUGE red flag.

[@m2pozad]

I'm so effing glad I've never needed to adopt this salesman's approach to companionship.

[@EE12CSVT]

It's conning the woman. It's an act you can never stop doing. I know an older guy who has this false persona with everyone and sells this fake personality, and that's how he found himself a new wife. I can't stand being around him.

[@DeltaScalper]

When you have 1000 customers and no one buys your vacuum because they want a 6ft 1mil vacuum that they can’t afford , you close the shop and live a happy life all by yourself .

[@kerynl.sanchez9891]

That works both ways, generally people are happier when they are by themselves, unless they were sold the idea that they needed to be with someone 🎉

[@BB-iy2mk]

Yes But please Take into account to be the best version of yourself + your target audience to be suitable for you! (No point selling your “vacuum” to someone who “affords” the 6ft one! Lower the price!;) - PS I work in marketing and lowering prices always increases sales

[@SharperPenImageConsulting]

I think average people are confused about what they can largely expect from average people and their average results🤷‍♀️

[@limeylemon1685]

@@BB-iy2mk yep, this. Men keep saying women only want the "expensive" vacuums but that's mostly because they only go for the types of women that want the expensive vacuums. There's plenty of women that want a cheaper one. But of course the men don't wanna lower the price so they end up with no sales. Aka lonely. Just look around when you're at a grocery store or whatever, usually the women are walking around with cheaper vacuums, not the 6ft 1mil ones.... I hope I'm using this metaphor correctly but I think you get the point lmao.

[@BB-iy2mk]

@@limeylemon1685 I get IT very well, they are So judgemental of women to be as beautiful as possible, But honestly being beautiful is actually expensive. What they see in porn they have no idea how much IT costs, the natural looking lash extensions, the fake tans, that shiny perfect hair etc. They actually think those women were born like that 😂

[@Johnson.O.Odiase]

I hope you're also a business coach because you've got the knowledge it takes to be one👍🏾

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

If you have to convince her and game her, she is not worth the headache. Self improve, be your best self, and let any willing buyers come. Be an employer and review / accept applications from women to come work for you. Don't be desperate. Set the frame and terms of the relationship. Take it or leave it attitude.

[@omega_tm851]

This isn't entirely true, if you keep self improving but are never putting in effort to be social things won't just come to you. You have to put in effort explicitly to get women. The younger you start doing this the better since opportunities dry up FAST

[@EE12CSVT]

Bingo. Finally, someone who gets it. This is what I used to do in the 90s when I had affairs or relationships/whatever. This is what women liked then, and I didn't sell myself like this. I've a few admirers these days who have told me that this is what they appreciate about me. I can't do anything about most of them, though.

[@rgj8044]

Now that is good advice!!!!

[@stefanisilva2493]

WAY better advice.

[@gecko197101]

Yes! You've got it. Her attraction to you is not hers or your choice. Game can rapidly seduce the gamer as well as the target of his attention - thru too much buy in. So, too much fake energy, rather than holding frame and being naturally curious, quickly becomes unsustainable. However, as I recall from past experience, having very attractive friends, an active sex-life and practicing talking to anyone random at anytime about anything, dramatically improves one's attractiveness to others and chances of meeting a real diamond.

[@thaboshikwambane]

5:58 So Alex Hormozi talks about this “flaws idea” too. Interestingly, he seems to have a healthy relationships and he’s great at sales and business and communication. I might be adding a bit of my interpretation but talks about how people should consider starting with their perceived flaws and finding people who think that those flaws are benefits. For example, a house hat’s down the road from a loud bar would be terrible for someone who wants peace and quiet but someone who loves drinking, and going out and bars - it’d be AWESOME. Find and identify the people who think that your intricacies are awesome. Love this

[@svst3767]

Only true for young or naive ones. I had plenty of (emotionally mature) women telling me to show them first hell (flaws , shortcomings etc) instead of my good sides. For men it also sets the bar low- any little improvement on his part later on is a big deal for her . Setting the bar too high (overly confident , assertive etc) in the beginning might give you some advantage with certain women initially but will backfire later one as no one can keep up with the first impression set in the beginning .

[@SplendidMisanthropy]

„You have to believe it to see it.“ This is GOLD!

[@lamaelcharif1523]

Very well said! When you believe in your product, you can bring buyers on board.

[@edwardyoutube]

You gotta boldly believe in yourself. You will not sell your product to everybody but you'll definitely sell it to somebody.

[@HellenMbewe-zf6ek]

Facts!

[@karriem5666]

Really good points!! The only problem is that, if she is fickle and shallow, another more persuasive salesmen will eventually come along and convince her to refund her original purchase for what he is offering. Remember, her window shopping tendencies have conditioned her to focus on what's missing.

[@publicalias8172]

Great analogy. Thank you for sharing sir! Edit; love the part about flaws as perception rather than fact. That's the first time I've thought about it like this, it really helps put things into perspective.

[@RupertMcGruber]

To me this part in real life is when you make quick-witted jokes to "invert" any doubts, jabs or critiques she might have on the spot, turning "bugs" into "features".

[@Eddy1A1]

Just thank you for presenting "the game" in a truthful way, that some of us can finally accept.

[@RafaelSantiagoBuenoArdila]

great video, thanks. Something that I'd add is that a great salesman always tries to sell even when in bad times or when the economy goes bad, he never seems weak, in need or vulnerable, when you see him he seems he's doing fine. When you stop trying to sell customers will notice it and won't buy your products, who would like to buy from a loser? nobody, right?

[@coleroyce]

Got to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to love you

[@bgbbff]

@@nothing67440LMFAO, you answered it “unsuccessful men don’t love themselves”

[@djsazon2200]

People keep grudges, and I do not know how to deal with grudges, judgment, jealousy, pettiness, anger, bitterness, and prejudice. The only way to deal with these irrational behaviors, the resolution, is to leave. They have to fix themselves and let it go at some point. It is something within which they need to improve. I have nothing to do with that-internal stuff. Negative energy is not part of me, and I can't go inside their psyche and look at what happened in the past to fix their present. It takes too much energy and time. Not interested. Only improve their life, moving forward to a better present + future. 🙏

[@lifeisagift.cherisheverymoment]

"You have to TEACH people how to FEEL about you: the essence of game" If you approach life as a game, your life is going to be a game to everyone you meet, and you will eventually lose, no matter how often you delude yourself into believing you are winning. If you have to "teach" everyone you meet how to "feel" about you, how they honestly feel about you will eventually be how they honestly feel about you and you will lose. People are not a product. Relationships are not pawns in a game. If you treat people this way, if you treat relationships this way, all you are doing is manipulating everyone in your life, and that will catch up with you, sooner or later. People are not customers. You are not a product. What a load of delusional hack. Believe you are an intelligent human being deserving of respect and you will be treated as an intelligent human being worthy of respect.

[@Anyox17]

Exactly this!!!! I was shocked someone would actually put this out as advice…absolutely terrible. Diluting people and relationships to products and sales transactions, and making manipulating people into some kind of game…WOW. The part where he says “what if she figures out I’m full of shit?” and then goes on to say well then that’s HER problem…. 🤯 very troubling people actually think this way about the people and relationships in their life. This is the first video I’ve seen from this guy, and it’s also the last!

[@alicia_nicole]

This!!

[@XOChristianaNicole]

Every interaction is some form of manipulation - in one form or another. The intention of that manipulation is where it falls into an appropriate or inappropriate experience.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

People want their narcissistic ego stroked, to be placated, and to not have their main copes/life stories disturbed. If you keep those you do well. And some minimal push and pull effort to keep them interested

[@lifeisagift.cherisheverymoment]

@@keylanoslokj1806 and @XOChristianaNicole Well, as the Voting population of the Untied States of America is learning, some few people in the population are far more narcissistic and disturbing than others and far too many are far too willing to be manipulated by him or her and then it becomes a far more dangerous game. And I have never viewed any part of life as a game.

[@valk200]

I’ve been too undrestanding to people and I hate it, I’m too truthfull about my feelings it breaks my own self.

[@oo9276]

You can sell yourself without saying a word to women. Women love mystery, the unknown of a man. So when i meet a woman , i dont tell her how much i make, i dont tell her what i drive, i dont tell her what kind of house i live in. I stay humble. She slowly sees the way i dress, she see the car i pick her up in, she observes what i order and eat when we go out....My life is not extravagant but very comfortable. She sees my successi a little at a time.. keep her interested. She sees the kind of life i can provide.. BUt i decide that not her, women think bcuz their pretty they deserve that life. They leadw looks.... There's much more then looks that will get me to commit to them. That being said, obviously, you have to keep her interested w verbal judo also...

[@FixItAMIGO]

I really enjoy your series, you can indeed talk yourself up or down it does depend one. You can make people feel sunny inside or stressed out. This takes practice though 😊

[@ShivaShaktification]

There's coming a time very soon when women are going to have to learn game and sell themselves. It's always the person that needs something that needs to employ game

[@ffxiisucks]

No, simps are winning. It is what it is.

[@Vantitas]

It’s going to be quite hard when a good majority of them believe that there bodies are the only thing they should bring to the "table".

[@ffxiisucks]

@@Vantitas It's not even that, what they bring is the chance that you Might get their body on their terms. Might...

[@diplomatamaravilhosa2813]

Someone is feeling resentful towards women…

[@aprilwalterscheid]

I’ve always had to convince people to like me. Damn, there are women that don’t?

[@CelestialTrieye]

This hits different.

[@reyesaguilar4775]

Thank you very much! This is probably THE BEST speech I have ever heard about the topic. The vac cleaner metaphor is very good at getting the message through😊

[@mtlicq]

LoL Three-foot long rigid stainless steel pipe probably got her interest.

[@РодикБузину]

If you combine this channel practical wisdom , nlp and some pickup skills , you gotta be unstoppable… I keep quite cause I don’t need to much competition and I have a job to keep besides the dating game ). Wish you luck 🎉

[@edwardwallace1633]

I enjoyed this video because I was a Kirby salesman after I left the navy

[@themick6586]

That job sucked, didn't it.

[@edwardwallace1633]

@@themick6586 I love sales but wanted to start a family and needed health care. I learned about people in sales, more than working in power plants

[@Avoid_Low_Frequency]

Love this concept!!! As a woman I will begin to remind myself I am a product and my product is valuable!!!

[@uanip1341]

Easier said than done. It could take years to learn and integrate this lesson but once you do… 😱

[@siddhachate875]

Wow! I never thought how you could ignore people's critical perspective about yourself from a salesman's pov. Loved the analogy.

[@bloop6111]

A woman’s point of view on these for anyone who’s interested. I started watching not realizing it would be dating/pick up oriented, then decided to hear him out. There were some good points but a few of them made me physically cringe. The first, “she wouldnt be talking to you if there wasn’t some degree of interest.” (Somewhat) true, but that interest may not be in you as a partner. She may be looking for friends or, if you approached her, she may just be trying to socialize or even trying to avoid having a bad interaction by shutting you down. Sometimes women talk to people because they found common interests in things like hobbies or bands or shows. We really just enjoy the act of conversation without motives sometimes. Talking does not mean dating interest. He did say “interest with respect to the interaction” so I don’t think he was implying that any woman who talks to you is interested in dating you, but I could still see his message being misinterpreted. The second. If she doesn’t go straight to one particular product, she doesn’t yet know what she wants. Please remember that not everyone is actively looking for a partner. If you see a woman out in the wild who isnt hand in hand with a man, this doesn’t mean she is out seeking anyone. She may again just be trying to socialize and make friends. The idea of “she doesn’t yet know what she wants” is beyond horrendous. Most of us do very much so know what we want lol. But I like his ideas of presenting oneself in a positive way, not selling oneself short, “features, not flaws,” and if she’s not interested, move on, she wasn’t the right “customer” anyways.

[@OhioGalReads]

I don't agree with everything this guy says. However, this topic today is spot on!❤

[@genevievebonieux8156]

Thank you Orion! I laughed so heartily at your bit about turning „flaws“ into „features“! I felt your points to be so witty and funny that I will not hesitate to try your recipe with the next new person I meet. Should be educational and…maybe effective.

[@ATRTAP]

And there’s plenty of women who don’t want but need a vacuum that currently doesn’t work but might if they repair it at their cost!

[@forgottenfuryan]

Fiction

[@apacur]

Honestly---- The Vaccuum story was exhausting---- All you can do is be the best version of yourself that you can be in that moment---- How the world reacts to that is not my problem

[@WickerDuck]

Thanks!

[@OoOLithiumOoO]

Great video! The business analogy made it very easy to grasp!

[@capmidnite]

Attraction cannot be negotiated.

[@inconnu4961]

Then those women arent your potential customers. Like he said, dont worry about them!

[@Aldo-lq8fd]

I've noticed that a lot of this advice involves a considerable degree of mental gymnastics. I consider myself to be an honest person, and a lot of these mental gymnastics I would have considered to be lying, but then again, my results (admittedly, unsatisfactory) speak for themselves. Interesting perspectives.

[@LibraryOfUsefulThings]

Well observed. I've always thought of this as a sub-component of Charisma. I've never really thought of this as a specific practice, but you made me think differently about this. By the way I first learned about Charisma and impressing people with my friends as a kid. I only learned it much later in regards to women. In my 20s. I don't act differently in how I interact with women and men, other than Romance. But I also like the fact that you are not one of those modern men who negatively acts towards women because they are different. "It's a feature, not a flaw..." Well said. Shared...

[@Me-eb3wv]

5:27 Mans got a point. I remember watching this really short comedian (4 ft tall or 5’1) who not only owned his height, but he also joked around that if anything it’s a good thing, women should actually be getting excited for men his height and I guess it did work because the comment section did have women saying they would genuinely date him if given the chance, because he’s so funny and confident and he was (objectively) fairly handsome as well.

[@denniskramer5238]

I feel like actions speak much Louder than a fancy salesman approach. Followed with Honesty interlaced in integrity followed up with being fair while balanced with consistency. No one is perfect, however admitting when wrong but stating while standing up for what is right. Even if it means it might be offensive to someone who doesn’t have boundaries or self control or doesn’t understand integrity. Good people simply living are offensive to those individuals clearly out of control.

[@madscientistlife]

This guy is a genius

[@Маргарита-ц5ш]

we have a joke phrase in our language "this is not a bug, but a feature". Doctor Orion is a wonderful storyteller as always)))

[@forgottenfuryan]

Female customers file 80% of returns.

[@peaceonearth8693]

Which is this language that you write of? I must say the slogan did translate very well.

[@danteeightsix9069]

When are y'all coming out with The Elder Scrolls VI?

[@Маргарита-ц5ш]

Hello! the phrase I mentioned "not a bug, but a feature" (it's not a bug, it's designed that way) came from IT slang. since the words "bug" and "feature" are borrowed from English, their sound has remained unchanged) and my dear native language is Russian:) in general, I often turn to the help of a Yandex translator if something is unclear. it is much more convenient and more accurate than Google's.@@peaceonearth8693

[@oneoranota]

I kinda know that from experience, but I would also need to remind it to myself from time to time. Sometimes I feel like I'm not up to the task. But I might do things in the wrong order. Trying to convince people that I am not the right person. I should probably, instead, convince them that I am the right person. Let them decide if they want me. Then, worse comes to worse, I can still say no. Instead of engineering my own rejection.

[@RoRo-rs5tz]

*I am highly favoured, $60K every week! I can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church, God bless the World ❤️🇺🇸*

[@KuramaUchiha-id1ow]

Quite impressive but HOW!!? know it's possible, my colleague at work got her first investment return of 40K after two weeks and she quit the job, I would appreciate if you show me how to go about it..

[@RoRo-rs5tz]

Yeah, 230K monthly profits! thanks and God bless to Mrs Mary Margaret Schimweg trading services. God gave me a vision about her!!

[@babytruca02]

I've been hearing lots of good things about trading & investments with Mrs Mary Margaret Schimweg and how good she is and how she keeps changing lives of her clients from around the world...

[@amalmberg13]

I'm from UK and investment is a unique thing, I earned upto £270,000 and counting recently thanks to Mrs Mary Margaret Schimweg, but i think hobbies and socializing as the center of your life would make you feel happier than spending, and I'm saying this as someone who is currently retired. For example, my sister taught me how to crochet a scarf, and it has been making my days better. - Not sure if you were describing unhappiness from spending, or just that you need retirement advice. But I wish you well on your journey!!!

[@MDX-r2s]

I'm successful today thanks to Mrs Mary Margaret Schimweg

[@yelena3285]

Love this talk! You made my day, thank you!

[@leo78744]

When I was in sales all I needed was "3 yes's" and it was in the bag, I applied this in other things and was successful but bad habits can be picked up by this method.

[@MarilynHarding]

This was too cool! Spot on. Make a flaw a feature is the best advice.

[@XcallofdutyrulesX]

This is akin to something I have realized while being in close proximity to successful businessmen. They believe in their product/service almost to the point of being slightly delusional. I am inherently more analytic and I prefer to observe and adjust according to my findings. It sounds counter-intuitive, but this mode of being actually has not served me well with women or creative ventures as you might have presumed. It has led me to the postulation that it requires a small degree of delusion in order to be successful with both women and sales. Believe your own bullshit sometimes!

[@andersnielsen6044]

If YOU don't - Noone else is going to..

[@EE12CSVT]

Less delusion, more telling a woman what you think she needs to hear, even if you know it's complete BS. Also known as lying and manipulating.

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@EE12CSVTNah.. It is called stimulation..

[@EE12CSVT]

@@andersnielsen6044 No, manipulation. I watch it all the time. I also used to do outreach PR and sales work at events for our company to build relationships with authors, publishers, politicians, and artists for the rest of the team and the CEO to then get to work with. I obviously didn't actively lie (I'd have been found out in an instant) but certainly I told them what I thought they wanted to hear, and used a little love bombing techniques, flattery, to get it done. I had an excellent teacher in a malignant narcissist at the time. But it was all fake. And I noticed that the other PR teams were similarly fake in how they conducted themselves and pretended to like the people they were impressing.

[@MrMatthewhg]

Elizabeth Holmes, for example. Astonishing how intelligent people are willing to believe that a person presenting themselves as highly confident is also competent simply on the basis that they want to believe it. I have heard that people WANT a fantasy to believe in, and are willing to to participate in it, so our society presents many opportunities for determined con artists to operate; but it is still deception.

[@JSCWIT]

It’s currently 6 a.m., and your video was what I needed to hear.

[@ytpah9823]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🗣️ In initial interactions, you teach people how to feel about you through non-verbals, tone, expression, and body language. 02:09 🤝 Assume interest and educate others about their needs and desires in interactions. 03:34 💼 Believing in your product is crucial for successful sales; your belief in it influences your communication. 06:05 🛒 Recast perceived product liabilities as assets to present it in the best possible light. 08:36 🤷‍♂️ Focus on your actual customers and practice indifference to non-buyers' opinions to succeed in your business. Made with HARPA AI

[@LaynoProd]

many business gems here thank you 💎🤯📝

[@jcejka2011]

Dr. Ryan… I was hooked by your title and introduction but I’m not connecting the dots on how vacuum cleaner sales helps me teach others how to feel about me I certainly feel a lot more confident about selling vacuums.

[@BiancaZathureczky]

Happy B-day Orion ! May you have an extra-ordinary year ahead, just as extra-ordinary as you and your videos ! God bless you ! ❤️🔟👏🤗🥂🎉

[@applesnicolle5144]

🎈🌸Really? It’s Orion’s Birthday? How do you know? He’s a Libra… hope he’s not politically leftist!! Yikes

[@palladin9479]

Laughed so hard at this awesome episode. Guys this is spot on, sounds crazy but is legitimately how value is communicated and received. It's also one of those areas where women dominate men in, most every women is born knowing how to do this while guys need to learn it.

[@briandonovan5687]

As the US leading Hot Tub salesman for 12 years. Yes sir thats exactly how its down 😊. My personal touch on that is i always find common ground, ppl love to buy from their tribe. As well as the recommendations ( introduce u ) to family n friends. Lots of things can come from that 😊

[@sy1ridere]

I’m Doctor “I ran the Taliban”

[@satyam168]

😂😂😂

[@saleonquiney8239]

Just amazing. Love your talks.

[@FookDatShid]

Your literally the ONLY youtuber I have seriously considered 'joining' ie paying. Your views resonate in every video and are exactly on par with another person I follow and greatly respect. May I ask how much your one to one consultations are as I'm at a bit of a crossroads and would love your input on some things.

[@BrotherMouzone.l]

"You have absolutely no obligation to help her reject you" 💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@carloc352]

Man, I loved the paragon with the vacuum cleaner. Spot on and absolutely funny. Thank you!

[@MrMatthewhg]

Selling yourself in that way would no doubt work for a succession of short term relationships, if that is what you want, and many do, of course. However, chameleons do not tend to hang on to other people for very long because soon enough real nature is exposed; maintaining a false persona is fine for people with severe personality disorders, but a lot of work and strain for the rest of us. But most of all, other people represent risk, as well as opportunity, especially if they come to think they have been had. Promiscuity messes people up, it hollows them out. Caution would be a better bet for most people these days - almost a reluctant agreement to proceed if faced with someone very obviously sold on you without much effort on your part. Then everybody knows what they are probably getting.

[@jamesalexander9130]

'Respect not be earned, Respect should be Given.'

[@theghoulash]

This is from How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is a book that offers even more great advice

[@Maryland_Kulak]

Yeah, none of this is going to work if you’re a loser. People will eventually figure out how smart you are, how rich you are and how competent you are. I’m so tired of the “fake it ‘til you make it” crowd. I live near Washington DC and everyone here is really good at this kind of bullshit. Too bad they’re not good at anything else.

[@EE12CSVT]

That's another reason I don't socialise. Nearly everyone else was faking it. The women who try it on with me also fake it.

[@sideman7117]

This video confirms to pure ignorance of my approach with girls when I was a teenager. I was a bit too “up front” with my perceived flaws-sort of a “you wouldn’t want to go out with me, would you? Now that you mention it, nope.

[@eclecticd9953]

This reminds me of a time one guy said I had no game. I mentioned this to another guy, and he said, “it seems like he wants you to manipulate him into liking you” why should I feel the need to do that? You either like someone or you don’t

[@andyfranks1575]

"She's looking for something to clean up around the house." Oh no, this analogy has taken a turn.

[@daviderickennedy2194]

You just described yourself and your over the top confidence manipulation tactic.

[@DavidDeeble]

I like the idea of comparing myself to a vacuum cleaner: we both suck.

[@themick6586]

A little self depreciating humor 😂.

[@inconnu4961]

LMAO

[@DuncanBuilds]

really do love your content my dude. keep doing it.