You're Not Behind in Life, Society's Take on Success Is Just The Worst

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

What does SUCCESS mean to you?👇

[@Aashbard01]

My idea of success, at 19, is growing to the capable nurse that I want to be so that I can support my patients and being a dependable person for them and also for my family ❤❤

[@Aashbard01]

I do not meet everyone’s expectations of life because I got my license late last month and stumbled a lot in high school with failure. You do not have to meet societal expectations to live the life that you want. Just work hard towards what you love that brings you joy!! ❤❤ You’re amazing no matter what you’re going through!!🤗💕

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

@@Aashbard01 that sounds like an amazing definition of success for you!

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

@@krembryle aw, you seem like a sad human

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

Well I'm still alive so that's a long way towards success for me. Mid 40's, failed school, chronic illness at 20 (which is still have a bit of), very bad depression for years, diagnosed with dyslexia, ADHD and autism at 40, I've spent the last 6 years of my life rebuilding my sense of self and I've been slowly building my own very bespoke home for the last 10 years. The one big missing piece is someone to share life with, I've never been on a date. Looking at the hot mess that dating is now I'm not sure if I want to try. 😬

[@sheenadyrud7930]

This is exactly how I feel.. I'm 43 and I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up

[@Aashbard01]

I hope you find your calling! I hope you’re doing alright, mate

[@annied3276]

Same!!! I've been a nurse my whole life, and while I'm super grateful to have a good job, it's extremely high stress, and night shift doesn't help. Where I live, the cost of living is so insanely high that no matter how much I work, I can't seem to get ahead, nor find a dayshift position in a different, less-stressful area of nursing because all those jobs are saturated. My plan is to work two full-time night shift positions as long as I can and just suffer bad short term, so that I can get a home in another state and hopefully find a dayshift job. It's rough out there.

[@reallyhere1035]

Ditto! I have a well paying job in my area educational track, but for whatever reason it doesn’t feel fulfilling. I understand it’s a good problem to have, but at almost 39 I feel like time is just ticking away sometimes

[@felesamabilis]

I found my new fulfilling hobby - writing - with 45

[@Aashbard01]

@ I’m glad to hear that. All the best!

[@lalablotz7348]

Here’s one from an old lady. Why does everyone think you need to do or have all this stuff when you’re retired? There’s this trend for retired people that we are supposed to travel, have a second home, a boat, a camper, be part of a group, volunteer, and the worst one is get a part time job for whatever reason I haven’t figured out and the list goes on. We spent our lives working and go go going. Retirement is supposed to be whatever you want it to be so why are those of us who are perfectly happy staying home in the house we worked hard for looked down upon? If you want to do “all the things “ in retirement good for you, just make sure you are doing them because you want to and not because of the “expectation”. Ok rant over 😂 Blessings to all and have a great day 🩷

[@GreenPenguin82]

So I did many of these things by the time I hit 30 (graduated at 22, married at 25, bought a house at 26, dream job hit at 37) BUT I did them back in 2008/2009 when houses were actually affordable. I see the price of college these days and I can totally understand why everyone rents. It took me 10 years to pay off my college loans. I have cousins who are just hitting 30 and just now getting engaged and buying houses after living at home for years. I forget how old they are sometimes because their timeline isnt mine because life isn't as affordable when I was their age.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

this is true. It's definitely harder for us to get ahead nowadays.

[@amw3224]

god this video is so refreshing. i currently attend my local public university known for being an affordable commuter school. i’ve had the privilege of meeting people from all backgrounds, many of which have been older students returning to school to pursue their true passions or because their direction in life has otherwise changed. it’s given me so much faith and confidence that everyone’s journey is unique and success isn’t linear. love your perspective!

[@MarieHynesDuPisanie]

I am almost 40 and let me tell you something...most people my age that I know, that appear to "have it all" are either : 1) in an unhappy marriage, or 2) are in HUGE debt Or both !!!

[@winterain17]

@@MarieHynesDuPisanie I find that a lot of people who "have it all" did it without truly thinking about it because it's the supposed path to a perfect life. Then they hit a certain age where they're in a huge crisis because they truly don't know themselves and what they want out of life. They didn't take the time to discover what brings them joy out of this life. They're too caught up in the day to day list of chores and taking care of others to be able to even stop and reflect on this.

[@pookieadw]

Yeah, when I turned 30 I learned that I needed to know what I want or the world will try to sell me what they think I should want. I had the 'picture perfect' life. I had a successful and doting husband, a beautiful and healthy baby, lived in my dream house in my dream neighbourhood a good job, amazing closet, car etc. However, there were so many problems beneath the surface. Familial conflicts, emotional trauma's etc.After a brutal divorce and becoming a single mother, I've realized success to me is actually having a relationship with God and Jesus, emotional intelligence and stability, prioritizing my health, having strong relationships that I cherish, a career I am working hard at that I enjoy, and have hobbies outside of screens.

[@Aashbard01]

I’m so so sorry to hear about your divorce and becoming a single mother! You deserve so much better! I am fully aware of the fact that there is always something beneath the surface and you shouldn’t ever have to feel pressured to have the perfect life especially because of what you’ve been through 😢😢 I hope everything works out for you!!🥹🥹💕💕

[@pookieadw]

@@Aashbard01 Awww thank you so much. We are healing from the rubble and destruction. I have two amazing children and just bought a house for us. Things will be ok

[@Aashbard01]

@ You too!! 💕💕 So glad you’re back on your feet!

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

That is so hard. I am so sorry you had to experience all of that! I was raised by a single mother, and so I've seen first hand how hard that can be. You are a strong woman. At the same time, I am glad you pulled through by the grace of God and have found what it means to be successful for yourself! God bless!

[@davidchambers44]

I heard someone once say, "don't compare your average, everyday life to someone else's highlight reel." There is far more going on than meets the eye. That said, as far as marriage and children go, the "timeline" is far more strict than with career success. The worry isn't so much that you won't compare to others. It's more about wanting as much time as possible to actually make a life with your love, and having time to have children before you're too old. You're quite blessed to have met and married your husband relatively quickly.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

I definitely am blessed! You are right, there is definitely more going on than meets the eye!

[@kimpaspossible]

All I see is that the vast majority of people that seem "ahead" of me in life had it "easier" : parents with more money, or just a good relationship with parents that owned a cool house ; this meant that they could stay longer at their house and put money aside. I've been on my own since I'm 18 and I've got my shit together now (i'm 31) but I do not own a house, whilst many of my friends do - because I didn't start with the same means. And the difference will keep growing because when we'll come of age of inheritance, those friends with more means from the start will have even more means, and I won't.

[@ReturnToSenderz]

We also need to remember that everyone is starting from a different place, so even if the “standard” life plan appeals to you, your path to get there won’t look the same or be on the same timeline as anyone else’s.

[@ashleycoronado2801]

My husband and I lived with my in laws for the first 9 years of our marriage (and it wasn’t healthy because my MIL is a textbook narcissist). I graduated college at 26 and had our daughter right after. Now at 35 and 3 kids, we are still renting because it’s too dang expensive to buy a house. It’s not ideal, but it’s our journey and I love my life. I thank God every day for this beautiful life he’s blessed me with ❤

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

oh wow that is so hard!

[@timeistime121]

This was so perfect to me! At 25, I feel so much pressure from the outside to go faster- find a career, get married, move out and start a family etc. But I'm struggling so much to actually do any of that! The job market is stagnant, housing prices are extraordinary, grocery prices keep increasing and it's so so hard to be independent. It's discouraging and I keep wondering what is wrong with/what am I doing wrong in life? But I am successful in other areas of life, my relationships and hobbies.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

I feel this! At 30, my mom had a house, was married and had 2 kids. I am married, have no kids nor mentally/financially ready to have any, live with my in-laws and can sometimes feel inadequate. My sister is 3 years younger than me, owns her own business, rents a beautiful home, and travels to LA and meets celebrities and all that. It's hard not to compare sometimes! But everyone's journey is different.

[@natallymp]

I don't think there is an actual 'success' for any person. Success for me is a word that means 'you've done great, there's nothing else to do about it'. But life is going on and we always need to do more and more and more 'til the very end. So I prefer concentrating on what's going on right now and try to make it the best I can. And if I can't it's alright.

[@ARachelB]

I’m so glad I found your channel! You are so authentic and I love your videos! This is something I’ve been exploring over the last year or so. It’s great to hear someone talk about this.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Wow thank you so much! I am so glad you're here!

[@Arwenn-edits]

This. This video is everything. If I could share this with all the young adults getting started, I would. It is a message people need to hear. Because of societal pressure, many 20-somethings totally ruin their lives trying to complete a checklist that might not even apply to them. People are not made with a cookie cutter. And you are so right: God has a unique plan for each one of us. Society shouldn’t force us to all fit the same mold. Thank you so much for sharing this message! God bless and happy New Year! 💜

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much Arwen! God bless and happy new year!

[@laurietrellue1795]

I can relate to this so much. I’m 38 and I still feel like I’m behind. Haven’t gotten married, no kids and I have debt. I think it’s the debt that gets me right now. Everyone else paid theirs off or paid off their house and I feel like I’m just not successful with that. I had to manage social media because I compare myself so much. It’s hard. I just limit it and I’ve unfollowed people I used to get jealous of sadly. I just want to focus on moving forward and not seeing what everyone else is doing.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Debt is so easily to accumulate, but harder to pay off now. I totally understand! You aren't alone!

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

I gave up on social media, I just look at youtube now. I'm mid 40's I have the house and debt free but no S.O. and it's hard for sure, people I went to school with are going to their kids weddings now. Wishing you all the best.

[@hi.anastasia]

it is one thing that is surprising me -i never told myself a “life plan”. like i never had strict expectations from myself “by 25 i will be this and that”, “i will be married by this age”, “i will have a house by this year”… but i do have an idea of what i do look forward and I’m trying to cultivate my patience and i did struggle with overwhelming comparison and high expectations from myself in my early 20s

[@je573]

Love how unapologetic you are about your faith! 🙌🥰

[@blainelocklair]

Good for you for sharing your faith in God. The world needs more people that have the courage to do so online.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much Blaine!

[@lunamothbumblebee]

I’m 33, and I have a severe mental illness. I’ve always wanted to help others, but that has been taken to the backburner, among many other passions. I love this video, and I’ve saved it to watch it again to help remind myself of what I’d like to do in life. We have a major problem where I’m from with homelessness. I’d love to work with others to help build a better community for those who are homeless. Thank you for sharing this video! You seem truly kind-hearted ❤

[@beacreates4370]

Thank you so much! I needed to hear this. I grew up with this dream of wanting to be a successful 3D modeler (for like Pixar or Dreamworks). But I graduated during COVID and couldn't find ANY job, let alone my dream job. I ended up pursuing my 'plan C' and I became a teacher. And now here I am at 26 years old, I don't have my 'dream career' figured out at all. I see so many of my friends who got lucky and found a job in the industry and they post about their dream jobs. And here I am feeling like a failure because I 'gave up' my dream to be able to support myself. So many of them are married, have a house, and just what seems like a dream life. Sure I have my 2 cats and a beautiful loving boyfriend (of 2 years), but it's hard not to feel jelous of the seemingly amazing lives that my friends get to live.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

I can understand this! Being a teacher is such an amazing accomplishment though and is such an important job!

[@bhsprinkle]

Type of video that I genuinely need. I knew that I didn't want the common path of family life. Don't want marriage or children. I did want college but it didn't happen. I'd still want to try again. Thought I'd have a career. Not even my first job yet at 27. It makes me feel sad because I need one to survive. I'm feeling unfulfilled. I'm confused as to what my purpose is. I'd love to have my own place to live because I live in an 8 person house and it's so stressful. Sometimes it's about how we feel or what we want rather than what societal standards are. Could care less what they're doing. Haven't in a few years. Used to compare. But now there's things I want for me.

[@bribri_04]

Thank you so much for Always being vulnerable and speaking/sharing the truth sent from God.♥️

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much!

[@Itgirl98-ct7zh]

I used to feel stress by this. I’m 26, everyone my age is married, has kids etc. I bought my first house at 24, sold it, moved and now I’m in my 2nd house. I’m blessed. I may not be married yet or have kids but I’m not going to rush just because I’m NOT doing the same thing other people my age are doing. 😂

[@carlaalmonte6788]

Susannah, thank you for uploading; I needed this. God's timing is perfect.

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much Carla!

[@wysteriafox2977]

Hey I love that you made this so much. This mindset of being behind or not enough is definitely a message from the enemy. To make us anxious and give up. But all goals are achieved one step at a time and on the right timeline.

[@wooooho_]

I used to beat myself up for not reaching certain goals. I was really overwhelmed by choosing my career or miserable about the fact that I am not even close to buy an apartment while being 27. After all, the clock was ticking. I ended up with severe depression and anxiety. A year later, still on medication and during therapy I can say I still feel lost. However, I've become more appreciative, kinder to myself and understood that sooner or later everything will turn out just fine - no matter how cliche that sounds :)

[@joelypowell2522]

Thank you for this video, it definitely helped give me a more chill viewpoint than I’ve been hearing from a lot of other places lately. I struggle a LOT with feeling behind financially because of things out of my control, so it’s really nice to hear a much kinder voice than my inner monologue talk through all of this. I’ve just found your channel and have been binge watching! Loving what I’m seeing :)

[@karinavazquez2560]

God Plans for our life its Unique" I LOVE THAT !!❤❤

[@ChelseaMugambi-yq9vi]

I love and adore your love for Christ 😊

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

thank you Chelsea!

[@iamneverwrong1]

I’m 50 and marveling at your wisdom at such a tender age. I Wish I truly understood these concepts in my 20s ❤

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

aw thank you so much!

[@LaCroixsGirl]

Thank you, Susannah, this was needed. Hope to see more amazing content from you as well. God bless. :)

[@Kevin-po2dl]

Amen to this video! I’m 50 years young, I started drinking at age 15 up until I was 32 , looking for happiness and couldn’t find it, I believe I did it all when I was out there drinking back when I lived in N.Y. Though I was ok but I wasn’t, I was the walking dead, I moved to Vegas at 32 and heard and found the Lord and savior Jesus Christ! Yes in Vegas sin city 😂 and Jesus Christ released me from the bondage of alcohol and a lot more, I finally surrendered to the Lord Jesus Christ right before I turned 40 and my life has really changed, I still have problems, but I have the joy of the Lord Jesus Christ now, and I am able to march forward in this life, I’m working and I always have praise the Lord! But I don’t worry about all the things of this world anymore, it’s good to want things, but just make sure Jesus Christ is your number one! Susannah go learn how to figure skate you can do anything! I give all the glory to the Lord Jesus Christ for everything!!! Having his joy is everything!!! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ!!! ✝️❤️🙌🏻❤️✝️

[@passangsherpa7568]

Hallelujah!! Praise The LORD!!

[@s0me0ne1se]

Thank you, I’m from another country and my development was very slow because of socioeconomic issues, I had my first boyfriend when I was 26/27 years old (didn’t even had a platonic relationship when in high school which was so frustrating for me, being so shy) so I started very, very late in life. I also started a professional career at 27 because of the same economic issues. I feel I’m 18 years late to everything, I’m married now but don’t own anything and don’t have children, which I would like but now I’m almost menopausal and again, don’t have enough money to give them a fulfilling childhood. My hubby was laid out from job almost 5 years ago, he’s struggling to get a permanent position now and I had a cerebral thrombosis a couple of years ago so we’re starting all over again. I really feel left behind, all of our cousins and siblings have their own possessions and secure money. Just wanted to put this out there, thank you for your video.

[@makaylacerda8402]

Thank you for the quality content, I’m a massage therapist and I get to listen to your video during work ❤ God bless ya! ❤

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Glad you enjoy it! Thanks so much! God bless!💛

[@gabyferreira2887]

I was thinking that success meant getting married, having a good job, and having kids. This year, I saw many people my age getting married, and I thought I was behind them. But God showed me what true success is. It’s not about getting things in this world but doing what God wants. I need to put God first, and then the things will happen.

[@AKMArt-vj2vi]

I have been loving your content! Thank you for sharing your faith. God is so wonderful!! Ill never go back.💓

[@Faye786]

Thank you for posting this video, i really needed to see this today ❤❤❤

[@sleepyeepy]

Off topic: I love your glasses! On topic: I love your videos. God bless!

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much!

[@bo_camel]

This is all true, I’ve been realizing such myself over the past year. While I’ve been singing at least casually my whole life, I didn’t discover my true passion for music and worship until I was 18 and since then I’ve been working hard to be the best musician and worship leader that God can use. Now at 27, I thought I would have had so much more to show for my music and serving on worship teams, thought I’d be married and thought I’d finally be living somewhere other than where I grew up. Instead, I’m still working to be noticed as a musician, not married and living with my parents as I can’t afford anywhere else. I’ve been so at a loss as to how to get ahead and I talk about such in my debut EP “In This Unknown”coming out in a few weeks. I like what you said about being a late bloomer as I feel that describes me especially musically and it’s taken a toll in other areas of my life like wanting to get married. As a musician, I’ve always wanted to marry someone who’s also passionate about music but because I don’t even seem to be close to where I thought I’d be by now, over this past year I’ve said no to relationships with fellow singers who are more experienced than me at a younger age as I continue trying to figure out if I’m trying to be something I’m not as I don’t want to get jealous of them. Might sound crazy but right now I’m feeling that if I’m gonna marry a fellow musician like I always wanted to, I want her to be a fellow late bloomer so we can be at an even wavelength and work to figure out this crazy life together. It does give me a certain amount of comfort though to know that God holds my life in His hands and I’m right where He wants me and He knows better than I do who I want to marry. Now just to keep going. Sorry to ramble, but it is inspiring to just keep working at making each day better than the last. That’s what I shall do.

[@LalaisforGod2000]

This is a now word for me. A lot of times it’ll pass through my mind unexpectedly that I am not where I’m supposed to be because of my age and I know that’s not true. God has and knows the plans He has for me and He will get me to that place in due time. And God will take me through the trials that builds endurance, character, and the hope that I will need to Stewart over what He has given to me well. Through my walk with God I realized the things I asked for in the past I was no where near ready especially seeing how much i have grown since then I probably wouldn’t have had the tools needed to sustain such gift from God.

[@Cookinel]

Thank the Good Lord for your content. My timeline did not match any of my friends in my 20s, and still doesn’t but God gave us blessing beyond blessing. no, we can’t afford life, but we are happily married and that counts for so much for our children :) I don’t have a picture perfect instagram, but I have picture perfect moments I never post ❤

[@1opifex]

Great insight and message, thank you!

[@Jo-um3kb]

Growing up I always thought I’d get married and have kids. I think it was because that was what I grew up with and what you grow up expecting your life to be like. I’m now almost 45, I’m not married and don’t want kids, but I’ve been with my fella for almost 20 years. To me, that is being successful in a relationship. If you are happy in your life and with what you have, then you are successful. We need to stop comparing ourselves with what we see online cos it’s all faked anyway. Enjoy what you have and if you don’t like it then try something new and different if you can.

[@milaurisbatista7681]

Exactly girl ❤

[@taranjeetkaur2123]

I really love this video. The definition of success you shared is great, and I totally agree with you. I felt like this video was made just for me. Thank you so much for this video! ♥️

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much Taran!

[@nickisix2006]

Fantastic video as per usual. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family. 🎄🎄

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

Thank you so much! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

[@julesaye]

I absolutely love this video. Im a christian but I used to be an atheist for most of my life. I think you beautifully combined modern liberal faith (as my own) with social citique!

[@17ehg]

4:28 love it

[@SoulClinic-l8j]

This is very good, God richly bless you, too many people are in this situation. Well done.

[@tyronpouncey5985]

Hahahaha married by 23, is what I was told 😂😂😂 I’m approaching 31 still single like a Pringle . I’ve now learn that gods timing is the best

[@misseskooklyard825]

Great video, great message, thank you so much 😊

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

thank you!!

[@breaw3122]

Crazy that you said figure skating because that was literally what I was thinking before you’d even said it 🙃

[@starboiXI]

1329 success to me is knowing the fact why you came to this earth!!

[@nicolenevanwyk3922]

Hi, love your videos! Things in this world are just temporary. The only way you can truly find peace and happiness is through your identity in Christ. By putting Him first, everything else will automatically fall into place. Yes I also had a list and I was so frustrated with myself. God showed me to through away the list and I did. Best decision ever! Shalom ❤

[@Setapartbytheking]

If you’re a believer, don’t worry about the world. You were called out of it. Learn about the end times and the Sabbath.

[@onatamo2308]

OMG THANK GOD FOR YOU ! ♥️ success for me is to be in a relationship with jesus christ 🥰 and everything is then in place 😊

[@afiajazz3644]

Great video

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

thank you!

[@afiajazz3644]

@susannahfriesenofficial you're welcome 😊 🙏🏾 I hope you had a merry Christmas

[@michellemarie1197]

I only have one goal and thats to have my own property somewhere pretty to have my own off grid homestead or at least for it to have the ability to be off grid other than that i dont care about career i dont care about travel or have so many materialistic things i just want to play outside

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

that sounds amazing!

[@sohaibshoukat3542]

thanks for this may god bless you love from pakistan

[@michellemarie1197]

Also i LOVE your glasses where did you get them from?

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

I got them from my local glasses store!

[@thisIsTheDayTheLORDHasMade]

I like the movie ice princess. I would also like to learn figure skating. I can skate okayish

[@susannahfriesenofficial]

It's a great movie!

[@Volundur9567]

Unbridled capitalism and systemic inequality has made it almost impossible for most people to check off that list

[@YellowLittleDucky]

I know a couple who is struggling and contemplating divorce but on their Facebook account, they post happy pictures of them on vacation. They have a lot of unforgiveness not yet addressed which I think is a huge factor as to why they may be splitting but they vacation as an escape while thinking they don't have a lot of money. The good news? They are willing to fight for their marriage and have Jesus in their hearts.

[@SheanaJo]

💖

[@jennifergholar1860]

❤🙏

[@MorganeWelsh]

Success to me is when my husband finally accepts Jesus as his saviour

[@inekethomson7520]

God’s timeline does not follow society’s timeline.

[@passangsherpa7568]

❤