“You’re wasting your childbearing years!” | Childfree Tiktok Compilation

[@hannajean8204]

"Unconditional love" my ass. So many parents disown their kids if they follow a path they don't see fit.

[@godofdeath8785]

Facts. Its so horrible

[@felmargego2534]

EXACTLYYYYYY!!!!

[@yoyosworld2773]

But apparently when you say THATS selfish they get so OFFENDED 😮😂

[@smellydonut5088]

WELL SAID!

[@urlonglostcousin]

only time it's acceptable is when your weird ass kid wants to change its gender

[@celiashen5490]

"You'll be lonely when you get old." As an introvert, I'm totally looking forward to this.

[@JenniferRusso5]

Same. I love being alone.

[@TheEmpress185]

❤ sounds like bliss

[@ankundamwebembezi6358]

​@@TheEmpress185it's not I've experienced it and it's bad and I feel like am losing my mind and sanity

[@Shaz-gq7pv]

As a introvert with social anxiety I love been alone. People give me anxiety attacks the best thing was when I figured out how to make money selling online at home and no longer have to go out to a job and feel on the verge of mental breakdown because surrounded by people. I can order all my shopping I need online and have it delivered and I've a wonderful dog and am adding a new puppy next week.

[@celiashen5490]

@@Shaz-gq7pv A dog AND a new puppy? K9 kisses are the best!!

[@Metonymy1979]

Volunteered at old folks homes for over a decade. Having kids means nothing. Even the people that had good kids, barely got visits.The people that get the most visits and the most care are the ones that created great friend groups.

[@faefae2260]

When I worked there, it was considered rude to call it an "old folks home" It was assisted living

[@Metonymy1979]

@@faefae2260 I never actually say old folks home but I've noticed on here that often people think assisted living means more than just the elderly. So, to be more exact with people on here I refer to it as old folks home.

[@faefae2260]

@@Metonymy1979 I'm glad you don't say it outloud and I commented because I know people dig into the comment section before they actually watch the video. I now work in HR and it's silly (I know) but I've had to write people up for using terms such as "old folk home" Anyone reading this..don't do it

[@Metonymy1979]

@@faefae2260 Absolutely fair

[@CyclingMartialartswithMusic]

You are talking in a western persons point of view.

[@eyelovetheskyandthesea]

"You will die alone". Don't we all?

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

This! T f people think we would always have someone beside us when we dying!?

[@brunoqnzbk7891]

​@nurlindafsihotang49 Not only beside, but no one takes the trip WITH you unless it's a Plane or Car accident (God forbid).

[@sreyanandhini3944]

But there is a difference in death timing lol in car crash also everyone don't die at same time .. there are differences in sec . s lol

[@christins.1481]

My neighbor did and he has a daughter.

[@No-Pilled]

​@@christins.1481 it happens so often! My dad died alone at home, and we didn't find him his neighbor did. We aren't even sure if he died on that Tuesday night, Wednesday, or Thursday since he was last heard from Tuesday night and discovered on a Thursday night.

[@hr-hq8ji]

I’m so tired of hearing womens only worth is having kids. I’m so freaking over it

[@edp3202]

I'm a great aunt and babysitter.

[@SeraFina8808-ou6mb]

Same here!

[@apebass2215]

Where have you heard this?

[@edp3202]

@@IllObserveAndReport 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 Let it Go 🎶🎵🎶🎵

[@nailahdawkins]

Exactly! Community leader, advocate, volunteer, churchgoer, world traveler, blood donor, inventor, non-profit leader/founder, baby cuddler! So many things a woman (or anybody really) could be that have *nothing* to do with if they have a kid or not 💯.

[@childfreechick2980]

The woman who mentioned the "unconditional love" truly resonated with me. I have always wondered why parents say they've never experienced unconditional love until they had a kid. I have always felt that if you need to have a bio kid to experience real and pure love, then that is unfortunate af.

[@abeautifulcountry9353]

I agree. I remember when Madonna's ex Guy Ritchie said that the love he feels for his biological and adopted children is exactly the same, and there is absolutely no difference. Aunts and uncle's feel pure love for their niece's and nephews. And the devotion towards a much loved pet, some people would do anything for their dog or cat. Unconditional love is not exclusive to parents with biological children. And I'm a parent.

[@seabreeze4559]

they're sociopaths

[@seabreeze4559]

@@abeautifulcountry9353 all agape in the bible

[@childfreechick2980]

@@abeautifulcountry9353 absolutely!

[@adik2189]

But it is a true, it is one of chances to experience true unconditional love, and that pure form is experienced mostly only between parent and child. Do u know what means unconditional? That you will love the being and keep it around even if it wants to destroy your life. People mistake it for love for friends or partners, normally, you don’t stay and love a bad or toxic friend. But if your child is treating you bad/toxic in adulthood, you don’t just stop loving them…

[@veronicamaine3813]

60% of elderly folks in care facilities don’t get any visits - that’s a demographic that had a lot of kids and they are still alone. Have kids because you want them - no one should come into this world as some twisted loneliness insurance policy.

[@jinkx3665]

Agree but I'd go even further. Have kids not only because you want them, but because you are going to be a good parent the rest of your life and will put aside the life you want for your kids.

[@grenade8572]

My mom is a nurse in an facility for old folks. She always told my brother and I : "if I go in a facility when I'm older, don't visit me too often. LIVE YOUR LIFE. Parents must always be there for the children, not the children for their parents". 😊

[@nehalilisays]

When my grandma got Alzheimer's her children took turns and visited her in the care home almost every day - even when she didn't recognize them anymore and mostly talked gibberish. She still had her easy-going and warm-hearted temperament though. Some other residents were a lot grumpier and seemed jealous. You simply can't expect your children to be around if that's an unpleasant experience for them. So, working on your own happiness, self-esteem, relationships and communication skills is generally a good idea but especially before having children.

[@cassiejohnson9410]

Also if you do have kids and treated them shitty, don't expect them to visit. I am a good daughter to my nana and I know I'd be in line to help her if anything happened to her. My birthmother? When her shitty husband decides to put her in the home, I might visit whenever I get the feeling to. But I want her to feel the pain of wanting someone to love nad care for you so bad but them just not caring. She decided to remarry and stay with him, as she puts it "I made my bed now I have to lie in it" well I like to say "you made your made, refused to change the sheets, so lie in it." She constanly uses that saying as a deffence for why she's still married and it irks me. Life may seem bleak but there is always a chance for change. I am a prime example, I've been bullied my whole life by faimly members, I've suffered from mental health disorders and sevarl learning disablities and other disorders. I could have stayed in that house, I could have quit school after highschool, I could have offed my self, I could have given up in the sheets I had been given, but I didn't. And, even to this day I'm contuing to change the bed and the sheets. Its never too late until you decide to lay down and not get back up. Anywho have kids and don't excpect jack shit from them, espically if you were shitty.

[@cosmicreef5858]

thank you

[@amberrichards2778]

I'm 27. I couldn't raise a child. I'm a paranoid schizophrenic with Bi Polar disorder. I won't be ready at 35, I won't be ready at 45, I won't be ready when I'm well into menopause.

[@edp3202]

Proud of U. You took responsibility and I 👏 you. I did same thing.

[@cosmicreef5858]

100% understandable and thank you for being responsible

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

That's so smart of you to consider your mental health and how it may affect the child. So many people are passing on conditions to future generations (or creating new mental illnesses due to not taking care of their own mental health) without a care in the world.

[@silverdandylmao]

Same sentiment here. I have ADHD and these shitty genes will die with me. And if my siblings have kids with ADHD, I'll be the gold standard Auntie that will help them through it

[@sips.]

@@dot347lmao why would you say that 😭

[@gardnerhill9073]

When I was 25, the other admins in my office (who'd just finished spending a half-hour moaning about their kids and their useless husbands and how tired and broke they were) would smugly say "YOU'LL change your mind!" ... But when I was in my 40s those same women - now dealing with grandkids as well as kids living with them - said "You are so LUCKY." I turned 60 recently. No kids. Never. Regretted. It. And in fact nearly every day I find a good solid reason to mutter "Thank GOD I never had kids."

[@andreiamuhitu159]

I love seeing comments like this.

[@limitedtime5471]

I salute you! I find myself with gratitude every day to Younger Me who passed all the tests to remain childfree

[@Showgirlable]

I’m also child free and 60. Never regretted that decision! Me and hubby got married in our 40s . We had Pets that was The Best!

[@justathought5136]

​@@pluckyou humans have already fulfilled that assignment of being fruitful, we have enough people on the planet.

[@agirlyhasnoname]

​@Showgirl7able1963 Honestly YALL SOUND LIKE GOALS.

[@makaylaforbes6719]

I'm going on to 60, and I'm far from lonely even though I never had kids. People gotta stop assuming every child free person is incapable of socializing

[@toxihex876]

They talk as if they're going to provide a big, secure home for their children and grandchildren and then rush to throw their kids out of the house as soon as they're 18. And then "waaaah, why did my ungrateful kids leave me in a retirement home and never visit?".

[@makaylaforbes6719]

@@toxihex876 the biggest thing I hear from people when they find out I never had kids is "Who's going to look after you when you're old?" I usually say "the same people who will look after you". The fact is, very few parents are taken in by their adult kids when they get old and need help. Most of those adult kids are busy working a couple jobs and barely have time for their own kids, add an elderly parent to the mix? Their cash is already gone just paying the housing and groceries, they gotta be creative to cover clothing and transportation, now to bring in mom and dad to look after them too they gotta find a bigger than they can afford house, plus money for the extra prescriptions and living expenses. Not gonna happen in this economy. Not to even mention when mom and dad go to the nursing home, they are forgotten until the kids get called about their passing

[@adriancomanescu4166]

So if you are not lonely, what are you doing here?😂😂

[@makaylaforbes6719]

@@adriancomanescu4166 I'm doing the same thing everyone else is ... commenting on a video I saw. Don't have to be lonely to watch videos. Maybe that's why YOU come to KZbin, but I come here for entertainment. No different than watching TV.

[@toxihex876]

@@adriancomanescu4166 are we to assume you're only here because you are lonely? This leads me to believe that you're probably using your real name as a yt username in hopes people will look you up on social media and add you. That's weird as fck. What does your comment even mean to suggest otherwise? I'm so confused.

[@naimamorgan6209]

I'm even starting to think that "marriage" is just a legal contract to promise to care for someone until they die. Now we can make arrangements for ourselves

[@ragingphoinix9144]

Girl yes. If you need that...'deep healing ' you got options. The fuck we need to commit to them for? Most are just looking for a mother anyway.

[@LukeSilver-fe7iv]

All that I've ever seen from relationships most of the time is people fighting and arguing

[@edp3202]

Yup. I'll die alone and I'm thrilled about that.

[@cosmicreef5858]

i do not want a traditional marriage

[@VioletaFlow]

Her mother disagree. Lol!!🐻@@apebass2215

[@mugglecatful]

Being parentified by my parents/sister was the real nail in the coffin. Having to get home from school and immediately take over responsibility for two infants/toddlers/children is a pale precursor to real parenting and I recognized that at a young age. I want no part of it.

[@misspriss2482]

Yep. That was me. I was the middle child and my mother had a special needs child when I was 11. My sister was almost 4 years older than me and was never home. My mother went back to school to get a teaching degree. So nights, weekends, summers, guess who took care of the baby? Feeding, diaper changing, bathing, potty training, all of it. I have zero desire to do it again. Ever.

[@starzzzy22]

I was just about to say "there's also the group of people who raised other peoples' kids when they were kids themselves and are now very skeptical on having their own kids". I feel like I've already raised three kids.

[@misspriss2482]

@@starzzzy22 I feel you. You've been there and done that.

[@solala1312]

same 😢 my parents were too busy getting high and going out somewhere. when they were short on their supply, everybody better hide or else... I did enough chores for an entire lifetime when I was 18 years old. hope you are doing better nowadays. sending love from a fellow survivor

[@valeriaswanne]

Eh, I had enough by the time I left home, but then decided "hey, what's one more of my own, eh?" I figure I already know how, so that's one learning curve tackled 😂 Best to you!

[@mmonroe259]

Countless times I see men out with their pregnant wife, staring longingly at other women.. it’s scary and sad all mixed in

[@roxycocksey]

That scenario is up there on my biggest fears list…. Ugh! It’s just horrible. I feel so bad for those poor women. Carrying that awful man’s hell spawn, putting their body through literal torture, only for them to look at other women and day dream about cheating or actually cheating. Im child free though so unless a horrible accident and a series of unfortunate events unfolds, I won’t ever have to worry about that fear coming true.

[@ilikepancakes2368]

@@roxycockseyI feel the same for men who are providing for an ungrateful woman meanwhile she is getting plowed by some other dude. As a man, the child free life is for me. I get to spend money on what I want and bang as many women as I want.

[@sandpiperr]

I worked in a children's clothing store when I was in my early 20s. I had a man flirt with me and ask for my phone number while his wife was on the other side of the store still shopping for their grandkids! Can you imagine that? Spending your life with a man, and give him children, and then when you're in your golden years and supposed to finally be able to enjoy your family and grandkids together, he's hitting on 23 year olds almost literally behind your back?

[@hanalala3164]

​@@ilikepancakes2368we didnt ask go to your mgtow page

[@lesliecartagena1292]

Men use women up and throw us away once there’s nothing left to take we’re disposable to them .

[@pastelmoon9118]

think those women who get angry and upset to women who is childfree is because they regret their choice, they want other women go through what they do " if I did it you better do it too" a bit immature... having kids is a choice. If you want them that is fine, if you dont then that is fine too. Just dont let yourself be pressured into something what you cant undo

[@abeautifulcountry9353]

I agree. As a parent I just don't understand the anger over others choosing to stay child free. Perhaps they had them young and resent their loss of freedom? Or had them for the wrong reasons. When I was 36 I didn't think I was going to have children and accepted it. I said to this guy, who had asked, that I can do other rewarding things in my life. He said smugly, NOTHING is more rewarding than having children. This is the same guy who only saw his son in two weekends a month... Let people live their lives how they want.

[@seabreeze4559]

busybodies are condemned by the bible

[@thatpoeticthug]

😂😂 you sound so confident saying that without any evidence

[@thatpoeticthug]

​@@abeautifulcountry9353 and you think he was not seeing his kid every day by choice or by the one-sided family court system

[@abeautifulcountry9353]

@@thatpoeticthug When their relationship ended, the mother of his child moved back to her home town 200 miles away. They continued being friends and had an arrangement both were happy with. He valued his freedom and always commented on the unhappy families with children around him. He also didn't want any more children. Hence the irony of his comment.

[@lucindabreeding]

Maybe I'm crazy, but I haven't noticed motherhood making women more "likable" to men. Exhibit A: Male politicians and single men's whole, entire dialog about single mothers.

[@canesugar911]

But they hate single mothers though

[@fakeituntilkingdomcome]

@@canesugar911 that’s what the comment is saying 😅 motherhood doesn’t inherently make men like a woman more

[@limitedtime5471]

It's almost like these men will hate women no matter what

[@seabreeze4559]

exactly, they're being busybodies but daring to pretend it's Biblical when the Bible says NOT to do that

[@seabreeze4559]

@@limitedtime5471 as an excuse to never live their OWN lives if they screw up their OWN life ALONE, there's nobody to blame shift to?

[@SkycometFallen]

The people who say “you won’t know true love until you have a child.” I can’t help but feel sorry for their partner. Imagine finding out your partner never loved you. 🙁

[@briolivia]

People act like adoption isn't an option if I decide i want children after my fertile years

[@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3]

honestly to me the whole thing just sounds like a nazi plot to further the white race. like why do you HAVE t create a new person from scratch? often people just say "well, you just have to! it's just not the same!" which to me sounds like the real answer is "there needs to be more white people" which is where the whole trad lifestyle comes from in the first place. but obviously most people aren't doing it maliciously and this mindset is far from exclusive to white people. that's just what I feel is going unsaid a lot of the time.

[@abduwalimuse7482]

literally thats what im saying

[@Reallifeintheblue]

Did anyone ever look back and take responsibility for this generation that doesn’t want to have kids? Maybe we had extremely messed up lives and maybe the world is super screwed up , and everything is too expensive. So why the hell would we want to bring kids into it? We are smart. Society changes for a reason.

[@an-qo6by]

PERIODUHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im sorry but i feel like those who think like this are smarter. Like we just know the full picture. we know what its like, to the best of our ability, what its like to be pregnant, all the things that can go wrong (things docs dont even tell u i wonder why hmmm), the permanent issues after u give birth, the mental health struggles, the pain, the unfortunate expctation as a woman while men just have different expectations it just IS that way... i am a very sensitive person who has a lot of mental health issues due to my parents. I love them so much they really did their best and they actually were great for the most part- but my mom is a hitghly sensitive person and she became all messed up due to the stress of taking care of kids. plus her pregnancy and birth was terrible., yet she still doesnt understand why i dont wanna go through that. I have the lowest pain tolerance ever, which i didnt ask for. I just dont want to go through it. I dont even desire kids like others. Since 6 or 7 felt this way. I wish men, especially women, didnt judge like this. I wonder how this world would be if it were men who had to carry the kid. Im so curious

[@Shay416]

Exactly. Millennials watched every lie society ever told be exposed. We know better, love ourselves and are doing our unborn kids a favour by NOT TO HAVING ANY.

[@Reallifeintheblue]

@@Shay416 thank you.

[@Reallifeintheblue]

@@SteveGoldberg-he5ur ummm. Nope. I've been around for 41 years and enjoy doing whatever the hell I want, when I want.

[@Reallifeintheblue]

@@SteveGoldberg-he5ur enjoy your misery of never having a nap, no extra money, and just daily annoyance.

[@jenniferbates2811]

My son is 25, and he's going to be getting a vasectomy. I'm all for it because I love and respect my children. My job as a mom is education, empowerment, and encouragement.

[@lilycollegemythbusters5532]

I am jealous! I have been trying to talk my son into getting a vasectomy. Why not? Guys should freeze some sperm and close up shop!

[@jenniferbates2811]

@@FirstnameLastnames I'm trying to be both.

[@jenniferbates2811]

@lilycollegemythbusters5532 I understand that. Healthy men can get a vasectomy, then have it reversed if they decide they want kids.

[@lilycollegemythbusters5532]

@@jenniferbates2811 Exactly! It is so much easier for men to get birth control. I really do not understand why every man does not do it at 18 years of age.

[@KarenLovesColours]

You`re awesome!!

[@shandean8352]

My Mamaw had 14 kids, 10 that lived. She hated seeing pregnant women. She said if birth control had been available then she wouldn’t have had the lot of them. I had three boys that are now grown adults. They don’t have kids and I support them being child free. My eldest said he wouldn’t mind having one of him and his fiancé were financially stable, but she never wants to have a baby or raise a child. He said since she doesn’t want any then they’ll be content with a pet. I’m the proud mamaw of a granddoggy

[@seabreeze4559]

they shouldn't be getting married if he wants kids he won't want them less over time it's really important get them to attend pre-marital counselling about it, cheaper than divorce

[@shandean8352]

@@seabreeze4559 He loves her more than children that don’t exist. He respects the decisions she makes concerning her body. They’ve been together over 10 years. You don’t know what my eldest son wants because you don’t know him. I guess to some people it’s weird to hear about a man that loves and truly respects his partner. Also, they aren’t some teenagers with underdeveloped brains. They’re 29 and 30 years old. I trust their decisions over the judgement of an online stranger

[@desserteyes6978]

Your mother doesn’t even love their kids. Yes kids are hard work any mother not love their kids do not even love themselves

[@shandean8352]

@@desserteyes6978 Whose mother doesn’t love their kids? I’m an only child. I was loved. Do you mean my Mamaw? You must not be from the southern states in America or you’re from another country altogether. Mamaw is our word for grandmother. My Mamaw got married in 1935 at the age of 15 and had her first child that same year. Some of her kids she had at home with no medical professional present in rural Kentucky. She loved her kids, but their lives were far from easy. You will never understand the physical and mental trauma she went through until you lay down and have 14 kids (two sets of twins) vaginally, with no pain relief, some birthed at home with no doctor, starting at age 15. Normally, I would cuss out and belittle a person for being so fucking apathetic and judgmental. However, I have a feeling what Mamaw went through is too much for your mind to process. It’s hard to show empathy when your brain is unable to handle the all the facts

[@seabreeze4559]

@@shandean8352 he can leave her later and still have kids, you don't know how men think. If he changes his mind, he'll just leave her.

[@conquistadorrocket]

The changing mind thing is actually a really important point. I can say with certainty that it is very possible for someone to think they want kids, but really hate being a mom once the kid is alive. My mom is a great example of someone who believed that she needed to have a child because that's just what you do. But she was a terrible mother. She is great at other things, but her personality is just not fitted to the task and it never came naturally to her. She tried to hide it from me, but even at that age I could tell she hated it. We should be actually encouraging people who don't want kids to stay child free because the alternative causes a lot of suffering down the line. And the kid is going to bear the brunt of it.

[@gardnerhill9073]

My mom loved babies. Loved loved loved babies. She had no idea what to do with toddlers, little kids, older kids, tween kids, teenagers, or young adults. But boy did she love having babies. We really need to keep reminding people who keep saying "baby" instead of "human being" of the timeline involved in raising a person - and it's a cute li'l baby for less than a year.

[@reckonerwheel5336]

@@gardnerhill9073 Wow -- my cousin is the exact same way, I never heard of anyone else like her until reading your comment here. Same thing - absolutely adored her children when they were infants. Then now that each have grown into toddlers, she's become so neglectful that her partner can't leave the house for more than 5 hours at a time because she won't even FEED them. Her partner is with her out of sheer fear of being a single father (even though he basically is one now).

[@elle_l808l]

@@gardnerhill9073 i absolutely love your point. People neglect the fact that that is a whole human being you have to be responsible for, also that parenting doesn't stop after the child is 18 years. In my opinion you're a bad parent if you think you can stop parenting after 18 years. Sure the child gets more independent as they grew older but even at 64years and your child is 40years THEY ARE STILL YOUR CHILD and will mostly likely still need you for numerous things

[@truthhurts...6574]

​@@reckonerwheel5336 how many kids does your cousin have? And did her and the husband not realize that after the first child?

[@reckonerwheel5336]

@@truthhurts...6574 They have 3. The 2nd child was born when the first was still an infant, so he didn't know, and her view is that she loves babies, so why not make another one I'm not sure why the 3rd pregnancy happened, but for a long time, he believed my cousin was capable of change so he stood by her and their vision of a family.

[@narcissablackm]

Funny cause those people having kids in this modern broken society seem to me to be wasting a whole child's life, sadly...

[@sntanaa]

no wonder ur name is narcissa

[@EstherFavorr]

@@sntanaa 😂🤣🤣🤣

[@LrlTriCat]

​@@sntanaa 🤡🤡🤡

[@bhaminibhanot3028]

@@sntanaa narcissa black (now malfoy) is actually a harry potter character, might be a coincidence though

[@stefanisilva2493]

@@sntanaa yeah, cause people have children due to very altruistic reasons , right? 🤡

[@merissaj4518]

As a woman with only one child, I get "Oh you'll want another! Give it time." "You'll forget labour pains." "Don't you want to give your child a sibling?" My answer is a resounding "Nope!" to all those people. I love my kid. My husband and I made a conscious choice to have a child, but decided based on the state of the world and what we want for ourselves that one is the best choice for us. So, if you feel like commenting on someone's familial situation or their uterus, don't.

[@coryo2485]

Exactly! One and done for me. Biggest reason is this world but I just don't want more either. Same with my husband. Even with my one, we still do what we want, when we want.

[@lillierose5304]

Yeah you still have a lot of freedom and flexibility with just one. Travel has been a big part of life for my son and I (and our dog). I didn't want another until recently. There'll be a 13 year age gap between my kids. Each to their own! Do what's right for you 😊

[@misspriss2482]

@@lillierose5304 This. Why can't this be the sentiment? "Do you want kids? (Yes) or (No) Great! Do what's right for you!" instead of lecturing someone because they do or don't want/have kids.

[@lillierose5304]

@@misspriss2482 absolutely 😊

[@kanikagaral7637]

I have coworkers who say this. They say they feel bad they couldn't give their child a sibling. They can't even deal with one child. They r overwhelmed with one child and still think they should had another.

[@sk8ergrrl1]

“I didn’t know real love until I had my kids!” Me: Wow that’s kinda sad. So you didn’t give or receive love from your parents? Your siblings? Your grandparents? Your friends? Your significant other? Wow what a sad life… Also, by that logic, your kids don’t truly love you because apparently loving your parents isn’t “real love”, only loving your children is “real love”.

[@awg7068]

My family was a hot mess. Looked perfect on the outside, crazy as hell on the inside. I had my kids way later in life, after I did a lot of work on myself. We have the family life that kids *should* have, but at the same time, my cousin is happily child free, and I have been an outspoken advocate for her. Whatever you choose, it’s the right choice.

[@seabreeze4559]

they're sociopaths love is agape, for pets, friends etc

[@rothaarigestinchen]

To some degree, I can relate to that statement. After giving birth, the hormones kicked in and made me feel the most intense unconditional love for my child. Never experienced that kind of affection before.

[@KreeZafi]

Yup I feel kinda bad for them. I understand that especially post-partum mothers tend to get a very intense feeling of love because the body totally explodes with chemicals to make you feel that way (you know, to make sure offspring are taken care of for survival reasons) but to say you don't know real love until you have a kid is really tragic.

[@sk8ergrrl1]

@@rothaarigestinchen I get that, but there are lots of different types of love, so to define the love a parent feels for their child as “real love” is inaccurate and hurtful.

[@abvhrulz]

The question that I have often been asked is what if I regret not having children. And that is something I’ve thought about a lot before being sterilized. The conclusion I came to was that I’d rather have the thought of “I wish I had a child” then “damn, I’m a parent and I regret ever having them” imagine regretting making a whole new independent life that now has to live in this capitalist hellscape knowing/suspecting that their parent regrets them. I’ve lived and am living through that and I’d never do that to an innocent person.

[@nanadecarvalho7840]

Also if you regret you could foster/adopt children.

[@TheJLH]

Same

[@ferninthehouse]

@@nanadecarvalho7840 yep I was going to say the same, hardly anyone talks about this tbh

[@KreeZafi]

@@nanadecarvalho7840 Exactly! Being childfree is a more reversible decision than becoming a parent. If you have a kid you're kinda screwed, but if you choose to be childfree and get sterilized you can still have children by other means IF you were to change your mind.

[@edp3202]

​@@nanadecarvalho7840or give $$ to children's organizations.

[@loneagnostic9163]

People makes it out to be just women not wanting kids , men don’t always want kids either, and they are more likely to regret and leave them especially if that kid has especial needs

[@seabreeze4559]

especially if the man is older, called paternal age studies

[@danicajvv]

Absolutely. My father left because he never wanted kids and because I was severely disabled. It's a huge risk for a mother - especially if she's sick and jobless to have children.

[@missfefeloves]

And this is actually the norm in society. Then they when the kids gets older and the mum has spent her entire life looking after them that’s when they come back for the grown up benefits

[@godofdeath8785]

Ye as guy i can say that almost all men don't really want kids after birth

[@godofdeath8785]

@@missfefeloves and I don't get why so many guys says like my mother made my father against me and that i wish i could spend more time with my father. When in reality fathers don't really care about these who they reproduced. Its really weird for me

[@scoodler]

The ones who try to sell the idea of having kids say it will make you happy, but none of them actually seem happy or fulfilled themselves. The parents that do seem to be enjoying their lives don't push it on others.

[@desserteyes6978]

Being a mother has it’s pros. But it’s not for the weak.

[@solomoon3083]

@@desserteyes6978 oh it isn’t for the weak? Lol. But it is for the narcissist tho! Read your comment back. Lol.

[@desserteyes6978]

@@solomoon3083 No I say that because. Weak people are narcissists. Strong people are humble enough to give their life away in order to care for their offsprings.

[@solomoon3083]

@@desserteyes6978 you are misguided. I hate to tell you. Having children is a form of narcissism. There is no other explanation for it, as humans. You could care less that this being had no say so as to whether thy desire existence. You and some other person fk, and then against one’s will, you are forced to exist. There is nothing more weak and selfish than bearing a human. “Parents” are Narcissists. Thus bearing children is a sign of weakness. “Humble.” Gtfo.

[@toxihex876]

@@desserteyes6978 Bro many narcissists are often strong as fuck. Narcissism happens after an enormous amount of abuse and trauma. If you read substantial, well researched papers about it (NOT from google searches and pop culture articles, not even those popular videos on youtube by psychologists) you'll know that the exhaustion of merely existing that a narcissist goes through on a daily basis would make you collapse and beg for your life to be over after just one day. I don't know about you, but if I knew that my mom had to give up many things her heart was set on to have me, I'd live with immense guilt and wish I was never born every day. That in of itself is extremely cruel and damaging for a child. A mom screaming "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE SACRIFICED TO HAVE YOU, BE GRATEFUL" is disgusting abuse. But what's worse is if the mom doesn't even scream it, what's worse is one day finding out your mom tanked your existence because she thought you should live. Giving one's life away for something is never healthy and it's never okay. If youo have to make such big sacrifices then you're doing something very wrong. You genuine repulse me, and the saddest part is I know several people who think exactly like you and are exactly as dumb as you. I genuinely hope you never get to scar kids with your unbelievable cruelty that you don't even realize. There's enough people like you, please be kind enough to not pass the trauma down.

[@Lsmerb]

I got sterilized last year at 25. Have felt much safer and more secure in my own skin ever since :)

[@elle_l808l]

I got a five-year contraceptive implant at 20, I'm 25 now and I'll be getting another 5year implant soon, then considering an endometrial ablation. I don't just want to avoid pregnancy 😅i hate periods and an endometrial ablation reduces period heaviness and can completely stop them so I've read. I got my first period at 9years old and I'm so done with them, I'm not bleeding every month till I'm like 55 or something

[@Enriquez2222]

I want one so bad, I’m 23 right now.

[@SUGAR_XYLER]

​@@Enriquez2222 the doctor made me wait until I was 24. I had it done in 1988 and it was the best decision I ever made. Proud to say I'm 58 and have never changed a diaper 😁

[@zoviqi2388]

Can i ask questions? to y'all ;-; I'm a 21 yrs old woman born in Southeast Asia. And there isn't much support system here.

[@zoviqi2388]

What country and which hospital and which doctor, and what is the cost? and i wanna ask more questions if y'all don't minf

[@darrellohare2573]

I don't want kids for a great number of reasons. But I can't have kids for once simple but big one: I hate sex. One of the worst things i've ever experienced honestly and definitely something I personally think is way overrated. That said, it is quite convenient for me that no sex=no kids and so is an all around win/win for me. 👍

[@LoneStreet]

Fellow ace here, totally get it

[@KARINA29534]

Same here. I am a virgin and I will never have kids. I enjoy my freedom.

[@elle_l808l]

I hate sex too. It raises my anxiety levels and I can't stand that

[@XMissGX]

Aro Ace's for the win 🥳

[@rosedalinevaletine6931]

Me too! I literally never want to have sex or do ivf or be pregnant or parent!

[@Tigerlily_Fresh]

I'm not willing to put my body through that is my reason.

[@nanadecarvalho7840]

Same

[@nekesamichelle1400]

It's just not worth it, and why people are always mad at what you won't do with your body shocks me

[@godofdeath8785]

Ye its should be really painful. I am guy but can imagine

[@stewarln52284]

I did a planned c section. Got a LOT of sh$& from nurses but I haven’t regretted it for a second.

[@tashawilliams8093]

💯

[@ashley_brown6106]

Kids grow up and leave. You'll end up lonely either way😂

[@kaybrown7733]

Facts! just ask the patients at any nursing home. Most have kids that never visit them. It's sad.

[@believeyoume-nj2mt]

Not true, just a blatant lie actually. Your children have children and these families always tend to blend together. You may still end up lonely, but being single leaves no room for the possibility of not being lonely in the end. (Now add a silly widdle laughing emoji here for further smug, self-righteousness)

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​@@believeyoume-nj2mtWho cares? There's a world full of people who can keep each other company. Whether people have children or not is none of your beeswax.

[@believeyoume-nj2mt]

@@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf Who cares? Apparently you do enough to comment. There's a world full of people who can keep each other company but who do this world of people tend to keep company with? Yup, you got it, first try, family. Whether people have children or not is none of your beeswax. Now begone, go feed your cats.

[@ElizabethGeiger-ye1sf]

​@@believeyoume-nj2mtOh, I'm married with three children, love nugget. Although we do have a cat. But this is a nice comment thread, I think I'll stay awhile. Just because I have kids doesn't mean I think being child free is a bad idea. I completely support the lifestyle. It's not for me, but it works great for other women. Because there's a whole world of people to interact with.

[@MinecraftIsLoveMinecraftIsLife]

I honestly just don’t want to go through pregnancy and childbirth. It changes a woman’s body. Plus it leaves mothers with stretch marks and weight gain. I’ve worked hard to get the body i want and i don’t want to give that up. Also i’m autistic and i *really* don’t like people touching me.

[@seabreeze4559]

pregnancy is awful for those of us with medical phobia

[@an-qo6by]

the thing is- there is so much more to it than that. there is truly 1000 of TERRIBLE intricate things that happen to a women during and after. PERMANENT physical and mental health issues. Things no one really knows about until they experience it. Doctors dont talk about it. No one warns women. Its truly evil. I wish God didnt make it this terrible for women. Then we are questioned if we dont want to go through it. its genuinely insane to me.

[@mirimariana]

​@@an-qo6bylike going blind, teeth falling out, hair falling out, bones getting broken 😢

[@an-qo6by]

@@mirimariana exactly. organs moving around, having to use diapers the rest of your life, having your hip joints move oiut of socket, having back pain, auto immune triggers that get triggered, mental health issues- hormones- its legit unforgiving to the woman. I wish God was a little less cruel but NOPE. its an insanely dangerous painful evil process in my eyes

[@Feliciatanktop]

There's also still a chance you can die during childbirth

[@KEOSHAANEILIA]

I don’t even believe in unconditional love. All love is conditional. People just say otherwise to sound good and nice. There is always something that a person or animal can do to lose your love. Extreme as it may have to be, there is always something. It’s called standards and boundaries. No love is unconditional. That’s bs.

[@Childfree334]

Exactly. My love will always be conditional.

[@KateeAngel]

There are people who truly unconditionally love someone. They are terrifying. They can forgive and excuse their kids even when those are serial killers. That is f-ed up.

[@celseac8107]

This comment is gold!

[@jenniferr9624]

I agree. Love is just an attachment to something that brings you pleasure.

[@FruityHachi]

@@KateeAngel that's not unconditional love, that's codependency, those parents have unhealthy attachment to their kids and would do anything not to lose them it's similar to how abused people stay in a relationship with their abusive partner and forgive and excuse their partner mistreating them

[@Nonsequitoria2010]

When I was in high school - before knowing I was a sex-repulsed ace - I would talk grandly about how I would homeschool my kids, and not vaccinate, and teach them to break gender norms, and some other stuff. I looked back on it recently and realized that the only reason I wanted to have children was to prove my own petty points with them. They were just pawns in my own game. My social and political opinions have changed quite a lot since then, but I don't trust myself to raise children into authentic people rather than casts of a mold I've always imagined. It's not fair to them, and they aren't even real. They'll never even exist, and I feel back for disrespecting the very idea of them. It's a complicated feeling, and an easy choice.

[@seabreeze4559]

yep the control freak god complex reason

[@JS-dv9ji]

I WISH my egg donor had been as insightful and honest as you are 👏

[@Nonsequitoria2010]

@sea breeze the truly crazy part is, I'm STILL a Christian! I just don't believe in a God who hates, anymore.

[@RedResevoir]

yess me too ive been trying to break down EVERY “selfish” reason ive had for having kids and your line about proving “petty” points is soo accurate lol. its not all, but i realised ahh finally ill have my own breed around me 😂 and then now im like wtf and ok if their like you and you take so long finding your tribe, imagine how alienating for them. why would i do that? of course we can have faith but seeeshhh having kids is also so selfish and people dont even realise it

[@roxycocksey]

Woah. You just blew my mind dude. I have the same hypothetical conversations with myself in my head, but the things I tell myself I’d teach my kids to be, are things that I just wish I could change about the people around me, society, myself, etc. I actually have never wanted kids my entire life I always knew, plus I have pretty severe Tokophobia 😬, and I always wondered why the hell I have these hypothetical scenarios in my head then? You just explained it perfectly. Thank you for helping me come to this realization! 💖

[@rowdybliss]

17:18 I had my tubes occluded at 38, and my (male) doctor put me through SO MUCH MORE GARBAGE than this young lady went through. She was able to get a sugery date three weeks from her one consult. I had to go for THREE consults and wait THREE MONTHS… and two of those consults, the doctor didn’t even examine me. It was basically just “Are you sure? Are you SURE? Are you SURE you’re SURE??” Just incredible.

[@ahappilydrunkpuppy8961]

That is why I dont even mess with make doctors. They make me sick, AND they are perverts too

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

Aside from there being national healthcare, doctors in Japan are so much easier. You just tell them what you want, they ask if you're sure and give you a pamphlet, you say, "Yeah, I'm sure," and they schedule the surgery.

[@LinuxUser00]

Yep, Capital recognizes that it needs you as a "breeding machine" to turn the wheel once more, hence the "morally responsible" doctor.

[@nurlindafsihotang49]

Try THAT in indonesia. I've been in 20 doctors, and even they asked i bring my parents. I am 42 y.o.😂😂

[@bloodmajesty414]

@@nurlindafsihotang49 Are you able to get a surgery or is it still a no even now? Cuz 20 doctors... yikes.

[@ericasheed]

People say "well, I can't imagine my life without my children", well I can tell you I can imagine my life without them that's why we don't want them lol. 🤣🤣

[@auemmjee]

I went to my nephew's baseball game recently. Also in attendance we're my sister-in-law and her mother. At one point her mother asked her what my niece's routine is when she gets in the car (my niece is 15 and learning to drive). She elaborated that by 'routine' she meant, where does my niece put her bags and etc. when she gets in the car. My SIL then went into a detailed response. That's when I realized these women have no lives outside of their children/grandchildren. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

[@TheJLH]

“A lot of you regret your children z& that’s why you get so offended seeing child[free] people live their life.” Been screaming it since 2009.

[@TopNotchCloe]

This is the real reason for a lot of people. My husband and I are child free and have no interest in becoming parents. We vacation when we want, and buy the things we like without fear of them being destroyed or broken.

[@desserteyes6978]

People who regret their kids don’t even love themselves.

[@TheJLH]

@@desserteyes6978 what does that even mean

[@desserteyes6978]

@@TheJLH Don’t even love yourself if you don’t love your own children. Your children are a piece of you.

[@SeanWinters]

I cannot believe how incorrect this is. When did you come up with this, recess? No one is jealous of your loneliness, we're pissed that you're taking resources and giving nothing back. Your childlessness is literally going to cause the destruction of the world, and by the time it happens you'll be dead, so you should face punishment now. You should lose voting rights for sure.

[@Provanity]

So grateful to be childfree. Some friends have confided in me about the regret of becoming a mother. You give up your freedom to do a full time job that never stops.

[@homeremedysanctuary]

And for free

[@toxihex876]

@@homeremedysanctuary You actually pay out your own pocket to do that job

[@homeremedysanctuary]

@@toxihex876 yeah. Hard pass for me

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

Many stay at home mothers don't have any retirement plan because they are taking care of the family, and she doesn't get pension, so she is poor and no one takes care of her

[@shelbymcdonnell182]

Having kids seems boring af. I’m 45 and can’t imagine having to deal with kids. I love having the freedom to do all the stuff I love. Life is a buffet, if these people get “bored” without kids then they themselves are the problem!

[@edp3202]

Yup!

[@cosmicreef5858]

naaw it is awesome for people who actually ready for it It is okay to not wanting kids either Just do not blame the wrong people

[@LadyAstarionAncunin]

Exactly. I have many friends, many hobbies, and learn many skills. I have a lot to do!

[@TK-cg5mh]

Anyone who thinks kids are some kind of insurance for bring taken care of when you're old or even loved unconditionally should work at a nursing/retirement home. Seniors have to pay for someone to take care of them while they complain about their children who rarely if ever visit,call or send mail. Im happily childfree but my job definitely solidified my reasons why.

[@jasonm7684]

No offence but thats short sighted as hell. Most old people dont end up in nursing homes for most their life. Usually they end up there when they are in a very bad state, like they dementia etc and require round the clock care. The problem with the way you think is that care is more than simply someone wiping your ass when you cant any longer. Care involves so many other things, day to day things, the hope of seeing your loved ones, etc. The truth is that although its not a guarantee that you will have someone who cares about you as you face the inevitable fall into health problems and immobility. Unfortunately, its the best chance we have. Its like saying, 'well im not getting married because its no garuntee they will love me anyways because love doesnt last'. Like sure, but its the best chance you have. Nothing in life is garunteed.

[@Yes-kc3dr]

guys that don’t want kids just automatically become 10x more attractive 😻✌️

[@trini2DBone134]

Fr

[@TheCuriousCat2009]

Yep

[@forgaming5640]

Stop the cap😂😂😂😂

[@forgaming5640]

Than died alone no was there to help you in your old time and died on your own bed and your pets just eating you like a dinner 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@trini2DBone134]

@@forgaming5640 first of all learn to spell 🤣 second, childfree women live the longest and happiest meanwhile yall bitter breeders have separation anxiety and can't seem to make connections with people at all. That is why yall are always so lonely and bitter in your old age and why your kids always end up leaving you 🤷‍♀️

[@PapiyoneVineland]

Well, I'm pregnant with my first child and the whole biological clock felt REAL AF to me. Honestly, I was starting to get desperate. The thing is: I know two guys who feel the exact same way. And: you go girls, I chose motherhood, you chose a child free existence, no man should ever feel entitled to tell us how we should spend our futures. God speed. 👌✌️

[@fi-train8961]

Happy for you!

[@shanamoens822]

This is how everybody should react to both things honestly. Nobody should be shamed for their choice to either have children or to not have them. Congratulations with your pregnancy btw : ) My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby too and I'm excited for them. Even if I don't want children of my own, I'm happy for those people that do want them.

[@SUGAR_XYLER]

​@@fi-train8961 why.....she's in for a lot of worries. Look at the world today....smh

[@not-even-german4892]

​@@SUGAR_XYLER don't judge

[@andreiamuhitu159]

Congratulations 😁

[@LadyUnicorn-pp1zh]

I'm 43 and grew up being conditioned to believe that to be a whole and complete woman I had to become a mother. I am child free and have felt the judgement from mothers as well as being ostracized, like there is something wrong with me. It makes me happy to see young women challenging the gender expectations and conditioning. Stay Strong!!

[@FireSilver25]

47 and child free here! We’re probably happier n healthier than most moms in the world.

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

I hope ppl dont do it for the sake of challenging or being "progressive" as a F u yo the patriarchy, because no one cares. But I understand if ppl don't want to get involved with men, or being a slave which it seems the motherhood is a lonely journey for most, marriage too unf for most women. I couldn't wait to become a wife & a mother & wanted to be nothing more than a stay at home mom. Unf the experience of men ruined any of that, and now I can't even imagine myself to want to have anything to do with that. I didn't know men didn't pull their weight to raising a child & helping with home to the extremes that the mother has to do family life completely on her own. I can't imagine the stress of that😢

[@attackpatterndelta8949]

​@@UniqueGeekFreakall men? Or just the shit one you chose?

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

@@attackpatterndelta8949 i didn't choose them my friend they forced themselves upon me. If a person's experience unf is the same with men or boys since early childhood up to adult years it would be understandable that one puts 2 and 2 together wouldn't it. I would live for my beliefs or experiences to be countered with another view and im still waiting. Unf i dont care that much about outside forces any longer, i focus on my own path & will do my best to heal the traumas inflicted upon me by men and ppl, to remove the hate in my heart for others. Not one man have come to my defence or other ppl's or women's defense when they have been physically or verbally attacked, they just sat and watched, now how can i have respect gor anyone who has the physical strength and capabilitu to defend other ppl but don't? I learnt from early early age 5 years pld to fend for myself because no one will have your back. I've never been in a relationship because of how disgusting men are and force themselves against your own will. I wish i had never had to experience any of this that i could be taken care of by a loving kind husband, who takes care of his family. That they work as a team.

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

@@attackpatterndelta8949 if you are not a woman you will unf never have the capacity or comprehension to understand what women have to deal with and go through and you are one of the lucky ones to have had the experience of being a man and can do whatever you want to and get away with it, even being praised by other men what you have done with other women

[@quentinbarrentine5114]

It's far better to regret NOT having children, than it is to regret having them."

[@Rolling_Girl_falling_forever]

I dont understand why people feel the need to judge others for living a different lifestyle. How is someone choosing not to have kids going to negatively affect YOUR LIFE? We have so many bigger things to worry about in our society. For example: I'm atheist but I have zero issue with people practicing religion, as long as it isnt being used as an excuse to be discriminatory. Just because I disagree with it doesn't mean I have to go and make rude, offensive comments to those people.

[@graciekattan6618]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@shaeliyoh5761]

Exactly. It's crazy to me. My mom even asked me if I wanted kids and was talking about having grandbabies. And when I said I didn't want kids, she gives me a goofy look and makes the classic "you'll change your mind" response. And the funniest thing is that she openly admits to me that she's always been depressed (family issues) and apparently birthing me saved her. You'd think that's a sweet thing to think about, but that also just feels like that my whole existence on being on this earth is to make this woman happy. It's like you sure you love me or I'm just this crutch for you to stay on this earth?

[@godofdeath8785]

Bcs they regret their decisions. And bcs they conformists. So you should be like them or you gonna be outsider. Conformism is evil

[@MxrmGxrl4]

It’s funny cause this should be the easiest concept to understand, the concept of minding one’s business that is. But people will continue to feel compelled to put others down for not “following the trend”

[@diamondamani6358]

I hate feeling attached to someone whose whole existence depends on me. I love my sleep, I hate noise, I hate having to all be alert all the time because someone could drown in the swimming pool while am talking on phone and not paying attention to them, I just want freedom to just live without having to worry about all that and more. So yes childfree it is🌹

[@grenade8572]

Children are fine as long I can vring them back to their parents when they're getting anoying. 😂

[@boopdedoop3764]

My mom has explicitly forbidden me from caring for her in her old age😂 she says she'll just go to a home and if I want to, I can visit, no pressure. I will obviously care for her but not because I'm SUPPOSED to. Because I WANT to, I love her unconditionally. But I do appreciate that she doesn't have this expectation of me. it's nice not to be taken for granted.

[@grenade8572]

Do we have the same mom?😂 (Mine is a nurse in an old folks facility, so she knows exactly what she's talking about...)

[@Sageoftheforest7]

I've met a lot of these "family values" people who are super loud and would like to force everyone to have kids, and let me tell you I've yet to see one of them genuinely pay attention to their child and love it, and respect it. They treat them like commodities and I'm certain the reason they are so hateful is because they are deeply unhappy.

[@bloodmajesty414]

Those who love to preach about "family values" and are big on family gatherings tend to be toxic and so full of drama, it is hard to be around them. They feel threatened by those who can operate on their own and don't need a big group of people to fluff their ego.

[@manischkreativ8868]

10:59 - in the end it's always the daughter who takes care, no matter if she was the family's unfavourite child all her life.

[@ferd3007]

I hate people saying you HAVE TO because you HAVE TO, I've been abused my entire childhood and my little sisters were the same, people like to talk like having children it's an obligation but no one talks about raising them properly and it really messes you up listening every day how much someone hates you. If people can have the choice it's better to not to than feel you're forced to have them and then regret it, it's a WHOLE NEW LIFE you're talking about

[@cheyennemundy9681]

As a mom, back when I was a new mom, I got told to say goodbye to traveling and any other things I enjoy. And granted, yes, I have lost some parts of myself at the different stages of motherhood. I'm just getting back to reading. But I've never given up traveling. I make it a point to take my littles on adventures and show them the world. And I make it a point to give myself breaks and fill my cup. Planning on a spa day soon with a friend. But to all of the child free women out there, I support y'all. As a grown woman who has cut my own mother off because she took my teen years personally and ended up calling me a mistake to my face, I know not everyone is cut out for parenthood.

[@cheyennemundy9681]

I also hate that it's so hard for us as women to get sterilizations. I'm done having kids, not because I wouldn't love more, but I ended up more and more anemic (low iron in my blood) with each pregnancy. I want to go for sterilization, but even for me being nearly 30 and having had kids, it's been impossible to find a doctor who will give me a full hysterectomy. Only will remove my tubes. I want it all removed or none of it, though.

[@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3]

@@cheyennemundy9681 damn, that sucks. I hope you asked them why and got it on record, it might be something they could get in legal trouble for.

[@Calax93]

​@cheyennemundy9681 because a full hysterectomy would send you into menopause and removing your uterus creates a void inside of your body that organs can slip into. Hystorectomies are only for people with reproductive disorders that severely impact their life such as uncontrolled bleeding, cancer, fibroids etc. They can do partial hystorectomies like removing just the uterus and leaving the ovaries inside and even then it creates a lot of risk rather than just taking out the tubes

[@AdventureHusky]

Ya know with them taking away the option to get abortions in a lot of places, us women should be more encouraged now than ever to get IUD's, birth control and ties done. (Or whatever have you) Ya know since some Men like to think we owe them a kid no matter how it happened, lets just not give them the option in the first place.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Let's just all not have sex with any men anymore at all. Gross if they watch porn good bye

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

The father & mother if they agreed on having pre-matital sex without boundaries, they should also reap the reprecussions both together to take care of the baby, there's no need to do an abortion & it's not right, the baby is innocent, it did not have to be brought in, if ppl were responsible in the first place. Its not normal to kill babies, so dont make it seem as if it's something ok or good just because they suddenly became an inconvenience for you & the guy. Ppl should've just gotten married

[@happiness6746]

Your right I'm going to get one and best believe I'm not telling anyone i did it...some men are also slick with it...they will literally try to get us pregnant knowing very well we don't want them...gotta put myself first

[@scaredstiff7176]

@@UniqueGeekFreak Nobody says, "Oh, I'm going to purposefully have pre-marital sex without birth control or some kind of protection!" A lot of places don't even have sex-education because of religious nuts who think it's okay to withhold information from the people who need it most. I never got a sex-ed because of covid. I had to figure all that stuff out on my own because my parent's never talked about it either.

[@UniqueGeekFreak]

@@scaredstiff7176 no one talks about it unf, not during my time either , sooner or later ppl will learn or find out, too bad it doesn't come from our parents who can give it to us in a beautiful way, which it is the bonding between a couple. Most ppl understand that it takes a man & woman to create a child, whether you are religious or not, i dont think you can blame this on religion, when it's something culturally taboo or "bad" and something stupid ppl hushed/ or still hush about, the more we hide something the bigger deal it becomes. We can talk about pretty much everything it depends on the delivery & the professionalism, the delicacy behind it, it can be presented in a good way, & not too early either, but it's better that it comes from someone they know instead of having to watch nudity etc to find out, which is just addictive & dangerous representation of what reality is really like. I take it you are very young if you find out recently, i advise you to stay away from social media, hardly no good comes of it, & stay away from these types of vids, it's not facts or reality, just ppl's opinions ir experiences. Take care kiddo 🍀

[@winter_s_44]

Dude, 11:49 is perfect! You love being a parent so much and nothing you do or could have done is better or more important, then why doesn’t your “dream day” involve your children or parenting? Why does it involve not having responsibility and handing “the best things that ever happened to you” over to someone else? Lol. That is literally the most perfect thing I’ve heard re: parenthood vs childfree.

[@coolbreeze5683]

The 2nd woman who said she'd rather regret not having kids in the future than regret having kids makes a very good point! There are people who are very certain about what they want in life and if they want kids, more power to them. There are also people who definitely don't want them and more power to them if they decide on sterilization.

[@mizkomunikation9478]

Parenting is exhausting and expensive, and lots of new parents seem to want to martyr themselves and act as if they need to believe they didn’t make a horrible mistake by guilt-tripping child-free people.

[@pinkturtle2016]

my parents are the sole reason why I don't want to have any kids. The way they treated me and caused me trauma is messed up and I want no potential future kids of mine to go through the same shit.

[@tc-tm1my]

I see childless uncles and aunts treat kids better than their parents

[@darlenegoodwin]

Love the childfree compilation. There should be more of these. A hysterectomy at 41 ended it for me after my fibroids grew back. Kids were an afterthought.

[@edp3202]

👏🙌👏🙌🎉😅

[@ottymatir7143]

My mother always says to me “one kid is not enoug, and two kids is too many” because of this economy and they way the world is right now. I’m currently a student so no fucking way in hell am I ever thinking about having kids, but still, I constantly see people who have them “”””by mistake””””, people who think having them is gonna fix their relationship, people who just think that having them is the next necessary step for a couple, and people who really really long for a child of their own, and i don’t really see myself in any of those categories. My mother also had to have several abortions because she couldn’t afford to have other kids since she already had me and I don’t really wanna put myself AND my child through that.

[@seabreeze4559]

wow her guilt tripping you about that is emotional abuse

[@velvethunder]

let's not lie. ADOPTING IS AN OPTION!! if you tie your tubes and regret it you actually can become a parent

[@KreeZafi]

People having kids to be taken care of when they're old are SO grossly selfish! I can't believe they unabashedly admit to breeding their own servants, that's genuinely horrific. And as many point out, it often doesn't even work out that way! Now I do hope to never need to be taken care of in my old age (if I become too incapacitated I'll just yeet myself) but if I need some minor help then guess what? I can pay for those services with all the money I'm saving by not having kids! That IS guaranteed to work, and I don't have to sacrifice ~20 years of my life to get it, I can live freely and then have guaranteed help if I need it.

[@crystlelakefarm1254]

9:00 Dude, my mom has been a semi truck driver on and off for the past 42 years and can back up the truck plus a 50+ ft trailer a lot better than a lot of the male drivers (most of them younger, some older), even in the ice and snow. In between all of that, she was a school bus driver for a few years and backed school busses up a lot better, too and never once messed up in either vehicle. She also backs up her pickup really well. A lot of people, including men, can't even drive their cars safely on the road and cause/get into accidents frequently. So yes, sometimes women can do things better than men, but it depends on the individual. However, to get back on topic, people are pathetic for bullying cf people

[@TheCuriousCat2009]

Damn. Your mom is a great driver.

[@2KREDK]

yeah and what’s ironic is that a good portion of bus drivers are female

[@magnarcreed3801]

The most wild thing to me is in our early evolution and smaller tribal groups CF were super important, just like grandparents were. They were full bodied adults without their own offspring that could contribute and provide an extra set of eyes and pair of hands that would be more difficult if they had their own. Same thing with people that are naturally nocturnal. Better to watch for predators and other threats while the rest sleep.

[@escribopapelitos]

This is what I'm thinking as well. Humanity needs variety to thrive. If we all pick the same path, have the same diseases, the same dominant hand, guess what - we lose.

[@marlyd]

I read that might also be why a part of the population is hypersensitive: when some people are naturally hyper vigilant because of how they're bodies respond to the outside world, you have a few people who will notice danger or changing weather much sooner and make sure the tribe van prepare for that or get out of that particular place.

[@loryndabenson2118]

Exactly. Child free people are just as important and necessary as people who want children. I say this as someone who is also nocturnal and works night shift lol.

[@KreeZafi]

Not quite the same thing but this is also a major hypothesis for why homosexuality exists! In tons of species we observe a consistent minority population of homosexual individuals, and this is thought to be a survival advantage - particularly in social species - for exactly the reasons you describe, because having a handful of non-reproducing adults to help care for the tribe's children improved their survival rate.

[@Childfree334]

As a childfree woman I find this highly insulting. I am not helping other people with their kids just because I am childfree. I am living for ME!!!

[@bunnybeetle1304]

Well if your only escape from loneliness is having kids, you might want to look into your relationship with your husband and friends.

[@kaylaglenn7631]

It’s so funny how our family members ask all these questions about why we don’t want/have kids, then with the same breathe complain about those kids that we should be having. SMH I’m good. I love kids, I work with kids but it’s an amazing feeling going home without them.

[@sonofhibbs4425]

A lot of childless bashing from those who have kids is envy. They can’t stand it that they hardly have time or energy for themselves. They cope by putting down another who has what they do not. It’s the only way they can make themselves feel better about working so hard by denigrating someone who chose not to have them.

[@seabreeze4559]

blame shifting and the guys can have more kids with their wife? like.... random women are not their wife, they didn't sign up for his nagging

[@Rainjojo]

I plan to get sterilized one of these days, however, there’s no doubt I’ll face a few complications with the way doctors try to convince me that I’ll “change my mind” 1) why bring kids in a finite planet that has 8 billion people and counting? Quality of life> quantity of life 2) my severe trauma has no room for parenthood 3) I love creating, playing video games, watching anime, writing, reading, and hope to even travel 4) I want to be a mortician and want to publish books 5) I plan to remain childfree and marriage free 6) my body my life my choice

[@OffWithTheMasks]

My parents dislike us deeply. Have said so multiple times. It's hard being a daughter/son/offspring too. Nobody asked to be here.

[@chenelagerwall409]

My 3 top reasons: 1) i cant live with myself knowing theyll grow up in this society. 2) financially i am not ready . 3) im not emotionally and mentally ready and i have not required the wisdom to lead and grow another human being yet

[@OneInAMillion31]

I'm a mother of 2, love them both with my whole heart and cry often on how I feel like im going to miss all the little moments. Being a mom was the right choice for me. It enriches my life. However, it doesn't work that way for everyone. I think there are two problems that plague this childfree "argument" 1. People think their choices make them better than others. This falls on both sides 2. Sometimes the reasons people give to be childfree *which the only reason needed is for them to just not want kids, that is valid enough and should be accepted* (but and I want to emphasize this....some of yall will whip out the "kids are awful/spoiled brats ect ect...." that's true for some kids sure but plenty of adults act worse but we deal with their tyranny everyday in public and online. Lots of people including plenty of parents treat children 1000% worse than grown adults and expect children to be more well behaved and emotionally regulated by themselves, than most adults. Like the logic isn't there, kids learn from us, they've been here so much less time but society expects them to be the role models of society but our adult population can't even order a coffee most days without having a mental breakdown. Get it together.

[@beautifau]

Facts.

[@MagdalenaH]

brilliantly put.

[@sharvacious19]

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

[@joanmatchett8100]

Wait until your a grandmother, you relive all those lovely time's again. They want to come over for sleepovers, you get all the big hugs when they see you, and you can still go out shopping for toy's and clothes for them .

[@seemenow8603]

FACTS!!!!

[@felixthecat2786]

I see a lot of "you're going to be all alone if you don't have kids." I'm totally happy being alone. I'm an introvert and savor my quiet time. Am I the only person who isn't having kids to avoid being alone?

[@alienchexfiend]

Wow. That tumbleweed comment was completely disgusting. What an awful way to talk about another human being.

[@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3]

and if someone said to them "your penis is dry and shriveled and your balls are like sad plastic bags, drained and devoid of life!" you know they'd have an issue.

[@Reed5016]

That’s why I call him F*cker Carlson

[@deeporter7369]

Love the title " You're wasting your childbearing years." And yes,...Indeed I DID ! I came of age in the 70's with the best rock music, a bit of dabbling in illicit substances, lived in a communal house with my rock musician boyfriend and other band members. Travelled around to great concerts and parties. It was the Peace, Love & Rock 'n Roll era and it was a blast. Living a nomadic lifestyle was not condusive to even thinking about having kids. And at the time I was anti-marrage. Maturity started kicking in and working was a priority. Met and married in my mid-thirties....bio-clock still wasn't ticking so got my tubes tied. Now I am 68, happy, healthy and not an iota of regret. I am loving life with my husband in our cabin in the woods. I wouldn't change a thing.

[@HandofHolmes]

I’m here for this movement if child-free individuals. No one should feel forced or pressured to be a parent or to endure pregnancy. Having a kid is a whole unpaid career!

[@kayemendi4501]

I truly enjoy being a mom. I will say I probably like it so much because I have three of the best children and my husband has always been a huge help with our kids from the day they were born. I also have a huge village of people who always want my children so my husband and I get lots of breaks. Even with my near perfect situation, being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever done. I don’t blame any woman who chooses NOT to ever have children.

[@neeneek.369]

My mom had 5 kids and she will faster die alone. Though a couple of us may attend the funeral after. She was one of those people who SHOULD NOT have had children. Maybe society made her feel like she would be less a woman if she didn’t. But she was a horrible absent emotionally abusive mother with 5 adult children who avoid her by all means. She doesn’t even get to hang out with the grandchildren. Soooo…

[@marigoldbeam5475]

What a sad story.

[@WhatAudryEats]

I appreciate child free people so much because not everyone can handle being a parent. It’s freaking tough to take care of children. & I rather someone say they’re gonna be child free than to see people having kids just because and then mistreating those kids

[@badlie4858]

it's still bonkers to me that some people really can't wrap up the fact that not everybody in this world like kids and want to have some of their own. them being confident that having kids is a sign of maturity while they act like THAT really tells everything you need to know.

[@veronica5lmaa]

I have two childfree uncles and I love them more than I love my father

[@IAmJeka]

This makes me so sad because it wasn’t like this before. Having kids was no a luxury or as expensive and idk. But my parents who have been really broke said that it really was not us the cause of it at all if not just life but other than having to feed us it wasn’t that expensive

[@joanmatchett8100]

We weren't well off , but my Mum made a comfortable home, we were well fed , and we had a good childhood , sometimes people put more emphasis on possessions , l find that really sad to be honest.

[@gardnerhill9073]

These days, we don't need to have a lot of kids as Pa's unpaid farmhands (boys) and Mommy's unpaid housemaids (girls). And it's expected to treat girls as equal members of the family now and not just Mommy's serfs. My parents (early 50s) had originally planned to halve their college budget by only sending the BOYS off to college - cause why waste education on future housewives and mommies, right? Also? It's a lot SAFER to have fewer kids these days. Between vaccinations, car seats, anti-smoking ads, and rubber gaskets on fridges instead of vault locks, you're a lot less likely to lose 1-2 kids before puberty.

[@MotivatedSista]

My grandparents were born in the 1920s and were poor. Even when things were less expensive it was still hard, even before the Great Depression.

[@joanmatchett8100]

@@gardnerhill9073 My parents had us because they wanted children, we didn't live on a farm , the only thing I did in the way of housework when l lived at home was help polish , because I loved doing it , l still love doing it in my own home, it's so satisfying to see things shine.

[@grogsmashrock7240]

@@joanmatchett8100 when you were a child inflation was not as bad and people should not live with only bare essentials as punishment for having kids

[@liga.triibe]

My top 3 reasons why I don't want kids: I want to spend my money on ME I like quiet and tidy space I like freedom

[@writingriver7992]

What the first girl said hit hard. I've been going through that with my closest friend when she had her first baby. I was her maid of honor and we shared so much. We were there for each other through very difficult parts of our lives. Ever since she was 7 months pregnant, she completely shut me out. She has been a very obsessed mother since the baby was born and basically ghosted everyone around her. I haven't seen her in almost a year and we live 45 minutes apart. 😢

[@conflictpersona8]

She's probably overwhelmed 😔 maybe thinks you won't want to hang with her and the kid. I hope she's doing ok it sounds really isolating

[@koshilinx8703]

What happens when the kids grow up? Then what? People say that you'll be lonely if you don't have kids but they're gonna leave to live their own lives anyway so the argument itself doesn't even make sense The shame women get for wanting to be child free is bizarre

[@natalia_00123]

"You're wasting your child bearing years" How is that any of your business?

[@txlyons2937]

Childfree bachelor, 42. I've been living alone for almost half my life, and I love my peace & quiet. I have no incentive or obligation to marry, and I absolutely do not want children.

[@RavenG77]

My ex was abusive and wouldn’t put a child through that (also told I was going to do everything) I babysat a lot as a teen so I raised children already (including kids with disabilities) I told my mom when I was 7 I didn’t want children (my father was abusive). I love my husband, I love my cats and I want to travel. I spend most of my childhood alone and taking care of my self, I grew up way to fast and didn’t have a childhood. I was abused emotionally, verbally, mentally abused most of my life. I have bipolar, bpd, ptsd, depression and severe anxiety. Children cannot fix me and nor should they have that job. I’m 42 in the best shape of my life, lost 60 to 80 pounds, married to my best friend. I love children but I do not want them.

[@Juhsentuh]

7:09 was priceless 😂 “ don’t do it”..

[@beautyforashes1948]

🫣⚰️😂🤣🤭♥️

[@hannahp.fletcher9969]

The girl who said that she had more fun at soft play than the kids did lmao. Yes I will be THAT aunt

[@GopherCakeStuff]

Yes the woman about the love for her pets and children. It should be the same love. Animals need you just like a child does. You have to help them and keep them properly fed and healthy and not neglect them. I find people weird who say the love is different.

[@Princess-rz5hn]

What's the purpose of having biological children if you even don't know the purpose of your life? We can always adopt or help abandoned children.

[@aloevera5600]

This is like one of the rare decisions you can't take back. You can get divorced, you can remove a tattoo, you can't unhave a child And people think women should be pressured into it???

[@maeum_maeum]

I have a cat , so she is my fur baby . But im a child free person and these are my reasons : 1-my physical health is not so good so having kids will most likely make it much much worse 2- im mentally unhealthy , i can barely keep myself alive . I know that if i were to have a kid rn . I will do everything i can to give them the best things . But i just know that my best isnt even near what any child deserves . 3-cant afford it anyway. My cat doesnt cost an arm and a leg . And she isnt so dependant on me . And i love her

[@VeridianBlues]

@13:00 That lady said exactly what I think and don't want to say to people who keep telling me I don't know what the real love is. Imagine being that immersed into yourself, such a narcissist and self-indulgent, that you know what the other person feels and that their love and happiness is not "good enough" like yours is. Nah, when you feel the love, you feel it. When you're happy, you are. No child will change your narcissism.

[@vanessacallahan3515]

I have kids and I’m 68 and I’m still lonely. They’re lives are too busy for me.

[@asya2792]

''Enjoy your cats'' - Thank you. That's what I am planning to do. Now; If you can, leave me alone and face with yourself in the mirror if you have enough courage. Leave us alone.

[@TravellerZasha]

Personally i'd want to eventually raise a kid. I'd want to adopt a kid because there's so many that deserve to have a loving parent. I want to love a child in the way I never was although i'm not ready for it yet. However I support childfree people and having that option. There's so many benefits to it. Both are a huge decision so take your time in it and trust the one you make

[@tessy28]

Too many old men looking for end of life healthcare or nurses in relatives they abandoned. Gross

[@MxrmGxrl4]

I absolutely support people adopting. The growing number of children growing up without either of their birth parents is a prime example of why proper need to seriously think about what parenthood entails before making that choice. I also like the idea because to some extent the children also has a say in whether or not they want to be adopted by this adult and make them a parent

[@Calax93]

Adoption is actually morally not good as most children in the system are meant to reunite with their birth parents and adoption waiting lists are long

[@MxrmGxrl4]

@@Calax93 Tbf, in a perfect world all children would be raised by their bio parents. However, multiple factors will disrupt that, such as death of both parents, parents not wanting the child, being unfit parents, or being a genuine danger to the child. Yes, even in these cases there are alternatives that would allow the children to avoid entering the system, but the fact of the matter is that these things happen and will continue to happen. In that case, adults need to be given better education on what to expect when they have a child, as well as sex education that’s actually impactful. However, in the meantime it should be a priority for the child that have been born to place them with parents who can actually offer them love and support. I personally don’t see the moral issue in this, especially when you take into consideration that children, living with their biological parents, are being abused in their homes

[@Reed5016]

@@Calax93I’ve had many friends who’ve been adopted. Let me tell you, they are some of the kindest, most loving people I’ve ever met. So are their parents. And guess what? Almost all of them have told me that they were so lucky to be raised by loving parents who wanted them and gave them so much care. None of them have reunited with their birth family, and most of them never tried to look for their birth family.

[@YASMINOGBU]

I love that the encouragement isn't on women being good mothers, not having kids if you haven't found the right person ( because a single parent home isn't good for anyone) but JUST HAVE KIDS! LOL

[@blktauna]

LOL in 1978 I was a teenager and I wholly remember this article. I laughed then and I laugh now. Crusty old man was sending out the first cries that current boys are crying. Every Gyno I had refused me sterilisation with the change your mind bs. Guess what I never changed my mind. Keep at it ladies, in the long haul we win.

[@pippy52]

You generally fall deeper into poverty once you have children. But I don't regret my kids at all. In the end, my children brought me wealth.

[@passivelyasking4825]

Giving birth to someone against their will and forcing existence on them without their consent is actually kinda messed up if you think about it.....philosophically its something to think on.

[@solomoon3083]

Girl. I have this deep philosophical thought replay in my mind every single day. Especially when I think about animals. It’s like there is this system in place that is like an invisible prison.

[@passivelyasking4825]

@@solomoon3083 Existence is kinda like being buckled into a roller coaster without your consent and taken for a ride that always ends with you dying. Super fun.

[@CinnamonSugar202]

This is how I feel, didn’t want to be here stilll don’t want to

[@passivelyasking4825]

@keilo764 Thats heavy hun. Im sorry you feel that way.

[@kiaharper7172]

😂😂😂😂 wth