Your Life is NOT About Avoiding Pain

[@brucebaker111]

This is my withered hand. Most of my life, I’ve spent avoiding pain. It has taken different forms over the years: alcohol, pornography, food, Netflix, but the common thread has always been fear and isolation, first from God and then from others. Twenty five years ago, I hit rock bottom, came to sobriety, and found Jesus when my AA sponsor helped me get serious about grace, love, and salvation. We prayed and cried together, and I’ve been walking with Christ ever since. But now my struggle is with food. As a diabetic, I’m overeating, and my medical issues are getting worse.

[@BecomeNew]

Bruce, our heart aches as you share your personal withered hand story. Jesus walked with you in your darkest valleys and led you to mountain top successes. May you rest in the peace and comfort of his grace and merciful arms as he continues to walk with you on your journey. May your story nourish others and fill them with the light of God's love for us Rest and be blessed Bucky

[@terriwerning3477]

Bruce, may God give you exactly what you need today, moment by moment. You are so loved.

[@susanne4168]

One word encompasses all my brokenness and that is fear.

[@BecomeNew]

Oh Susanne, you are joined by so many, and yet fear's power diminishes when it is brought into the light and handed over to God. Be Strong and courages, - we appreciate you being with us Bucky

[@GUNDOGLIFE]

You are not alone in that pain! Let us lift each other up!

[@AllisonSilvertooth24]

My brokenness is control. I live like I know better than God how life should be for me and my family members. When I try to control situations, lifestyles and avoid inevitable pain I am lost. When I finally realize it’s not my job to orchestrate everything, including situations and behaviors of those I love… that is when I am at peace even in very difficult situations because I know and acknowledge His presence and have faith in God who loves me and my family more than I can fathom.

[@BecomeNew]

Allison thank you for sharing a beautiful and heart reaching story that so many of can resonate with your experience. Thank you for sharing and blessing the Become New Community Bucky

[@cathiemazeika2944]

Wow, so good. I have a few things that I need to bring into the Light. Thank you John for leading the way. Thankful for BecomeNew.

[@BecomeNew]

You are so welcome Cathie, we are deeply grateful you are with us on the Become New journey Bucky

[@nancyzykan8573]

What a powerful message and invitation!!

[@BecomeNew]

Thank you Nancy we are glad you enjoyed John's teaching - we appreciate you listening Bucky

[@nancyzykan8573]

We can’t find healing until we admit our brokenness.

[@BecomeNew]

Amen Nancy! Admitting our brokenness is a huge healing first step. Name it and bring it into the light Be Blessed Bucky

[@lynnrickert1]

my withered hand is fear, and thirst, leading to control, replacements/substitutes and weeping. God helps me get up every day and I fail every day, and yet he loves me and helps me love him and others. And I keep taking little steps and trusting him. So much prayer, interaction with God needed every single day and I don't participate in that relationship as much as I need to.

[@BecomeNew]

So beautifully said Lynn - thank you for sharing your tender story. Every day is our journey, "I can't, He Can, I think I'll let him" Be Blessed Bucky

[@chrisroberts9041]

My pain at the moment is the loss of relationship in my marriage because of my husbands dementia, and they new role of Carer which I’m constantly adjusting to. I’m also walking through the pain of finishing my career in a Christian school after 38 years and facing the loss of identity in relationship and purpose that can be implied with that. I’m seeking in both these areas to trust God and I can already see Hope and open doors ahead of me. His timing is perfect and even though I wouldn’t have chosen it this way I am seeking to trust him and I really appreciate your prayers and the support you offering this community.

[@BecomeNew]

Chris - thank you for sharing your tender heart and the journey God has you on and is with you every step of the day. We are grateful for you being part of our Become New Family - and as a family we are alway here to support your journey and pray for and with you. Bucky

[@pkirkland98]

I am so sorry. I am acquainted with this journey-this grief. I became a caregiver to my husband, bearing witness to his slow dementia and loss of relationship . My heart and prayers go out to you❤.

[@andreaholm6873]

Mine is fear of trusting.

[@BecomeNew]

Andre, fear of trusting - is a big one. One we need to continue to name and bring it to the light and give it to Jesus - daily. It isn't an easy assignment but a journey worth investing in. Thank you for sharing Bucky

[@teresastanfield4477]

Fear, anxiety, anger, grief, control

[@BecomeNew]

Teresa - it is good for the soul and healing process that you have named your withered hands. May you find peace and encouragement knowing that you are not alone on your journey. We appreciate you being on this journey with us. Bucky

[@elaineh1041]

Good morning ☀️, pain reminds me of what God’s says to Paul, “my grace is sufficient.” God’s mercies & grace has lifted me up time & time. His love is constant without conditions. 💝💕🍃

[@BecomeNew]

Elaine - so well said - a comforting "guide post" to walk through your day. Thank you for sharing Bucky

[@samuelpaulsen5380]

My withered hand...avoiding pain like the plague, avoiding discomfort like it's the enemy... avoiding truth when it feels too hard, when it's between me and another person--I avoid healthy confrontation, even when it's the right way forward. And I avoid hard choices when I'm unsure what to do. Like others here, that enemy 'Fear' creeps in when I'm not vigilant.

[@BecomeNew]

Samuel we hear your heart and pray for you - you succinctly voiced your fears and we know that you are not alone. Stay with us on this journey and may we find peace and comfort for each other on the way. Thank you for sharing your heart. Bucky

[@richardhayter8458]

The lack of humility that shows up as self reliance or manifestations of self that continually defeat me through false dependencies and the fear surrounding those becoming public or exposed. When I finally share those and become accountable to another human being ( shining the light on them ) God reliance shows up and I realize I’m not alone that others have the same “secrets” and Gods merciful Grace begins to light new pathways of His Love to shine in and through me! It’s great to be imperfect with others and thereby with God🙏

[@BecomeNew]

Richard we are privileged that you share your withered hand story with us. God is indeed merciful and the seeds of healing begin when we bring what we are hiding in the dark into the light and name it before our gracious and merciful good God. Thank you for your story and may it bless others in our Become New family Blessings Bucky

[@saltedservant]

Thank you for this message, and your ministry!! Newly discovered but I've already been greatly helped and encouraged

[@BecomeNew]

I'm so glad you found us. May your time with us be helpful and blessed Bucky

[@GinoG253]

In Rabbi David Wolpe’s book, Making Loss Matter there is a great line that fits today’s reflection so well when it comes to admitting our weaknesses: “being known in a fallen state is worse than being unknown.” That is the struggle of living an authentic life.

[@BecomeNew]

Thanks Gino for sharing a truthful and beautiful quote from Rabbi Wolpe! Truly a remembrance of the struggle of living an authentic life. Thank you for sharing with the Become New Community Bucky

[@ritadove7910]

My pain overwhelms me, paralyzes me and I feel as if I’m free falling. Pain from grief, rejection and struggling to trust God in this pain journey instead of feeling abandoned by him and finding my full identity and significance in him alone seems an uphill trek.

[@BecomeNew]

Rita you are not alone in your journey. God sees you and feels your pain as he walks along side of you. May you never give up - as God will never give up on you. "The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit" Psalm 34:12 Stay with us on this journey of the fellowship of the withered hand - as we are a community who loves you Bucky

[@ewencameron4269]

So refreshing to hear some truth spoken in a country and a media where lies are the accepted currency

[@BecomeNew]

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement We are grateful you are part of our Become New Community Blessings Bucky

[@rayfowler9765]

Thanks, John, for today's immensely important lesson. When I look at my past and present, I see far too many episodes of brokenness. Too often, that brokenness is from not denying self and treating others badly... not caring. Yes, I grapple with it... daily. The times I feel moved by the spirit to extend a hand to someone are washed over by the pain of all those times I did not care enough to help. Most people I know would probably say I am a good person, but with my brokenness, I don't feel that way. I have to bring this to God and learn to keep it in the light. Wow! Reading about Bruce's suffering is inspiring. I'll go out on a limb and say Become New readers are praying for you. I am. I pray you forgive yourself and start healing... today... and for wisdom to move away from brokenness.

[@BecomeNew]

Thank you Ray for your beautiful testimony and sharing with the Become New family - to give hope and community with others. We lift up your words of encouragement as you continue to pray for you as well as you name and grapple daily with God's help and mercy. We are grateful for you Bucky

[@charmainneprinsloo5306]

Thank you John!

[@BecomeNew]

You are welcome Charmaine - thank you for sharing a part of your day with us Bucky

[@eXistenZ1980]

My withered hand…not letting people get to close so they cant hurt or disappoint me

[@BecomeNew]

It is good and often painful to name our withered hand - may you find peace in the journey knowing you are not alone. We will travel together, as we know, "I can, He can, I think I will let him" Bucky

[@Josmarrr]

This is my withered hand, that I am broken and have a fear of trusting people and committing to things wholeheartedly. It comes from deep fear and betrayal, I am learning how to step into the light and do things afraid. One question that I have been asking myself the past week is: "What am i avoiding?" and start from there

[@BecomeNew]

Asking "what am I avoiding" is such a strong and healthy start.....once identified you can name it and bring it into the light. Sharing it with Jesus and then with trusted brothers or sisters. There is a strange dynamic that pain bring to us that open us up to other people It is indeed a journey and we encourage you to be strong and may God reveal the root of your fear of trusting. Please stay with us on this journey as each of us is taking one step at a time with God at Become New. Buckyu

[@KathyHickey-mv3tr]

Tim forgot to shave!😂

[@BecomeNew]

Sssssshhhhh 😉

[@RobertaKC1]

or growing a beard...

[@mistysmith2378]

My withered hand is my inability to trust. I used to be able to trust God, until people at the church I attended told me that God didn't speak that way. My childhood was very unstable and God was the only stability I knew. Now everything feels dangerous and unstable. I try each day, but it feels like the sliver of glass in the boy's heart in the story The Snow Queen. I can't remove it. No matter how good God is to me, I just can't trust Him or anyone else. This morning, my husky escaped from my backyard and fear griped my heart. A friend I was talking to reminded me "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding and He will make your path straight. (Proverbs 3:56) Minutes later, while I was wandering around looking and calling for her. I turned around and I saw her in a neighbor's yard coming toward me. Even after that, and many other instances, I am still afraid to trust Him.

[@BecomeNew]

Misty we are deeply grateful for you and sharing your personal withered hand story. We know you know we serve a great and good God - and yet your heart is stuck. I pray you continue to journey with us and let the withered hand stories wash over you - that you may have hope and rest in Proverbs 3:56 promise. Stay with us as we will continue to be here praying for you and cheering you on to God's merciful and trusting arms Bucky

[@Mhj96813]

I'm not sure what it means to stretch out my withered hand! To I just tell everyone about it in every setting? Just some? How much is enough?

[@lvshope]

For me, The Lord first and foremost and a few trusted friends after that. Praying for God’s guidance on this journey.

[@BecomeNew]

To stretch out your withered hand - is to name your brokenness and bring it into the light. Name your pain and bring it into the light before God and others. Bring it to God and instead of avoiding it, denying it, name it and then begin to share it and bring it into the light with other people you trust. You can reach out to your small group or if you participate in a community of recovery grief, addition, divorce, etc. - and appropriately share it with a group you trust and feel safe in sharing what you have kept in the darkness. May you be guided by God's leading Bucky

[@Mhj96813]

⁠@@BecomeNewI was temporarily confused by your post. The last line said "may you be guided by Gods leading Bucky". I was wondering what or who is Gods leading Bucky. Then it dawned on me. In fact that is related to my withered hand where I am so adverse to being wrong and people thinking I'm stupid. Well I was wrong. And I think it was funny. And if you think I'm stupid. That's ok.

[@jonnyw82]

I fear death, i feat that God doesn’t really love me and that i am perpetually disappointing Him.

[@BecomeNew]

Jonny may you comfort your fears and bring them into the light remembering, "neither height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate is for the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:39 We are with you Bucky

[@tracykamemoto4602]

Fear.😢🙏

[@BecomeNew]

Tracy you are not alone - please hold on to the truth, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 4:10

[@annettekirk6119]

I don't know what name of one particular pain is. Prayers for revelation. A name would be helpful.

[@BecomeNew]

Annette , continue to seek and lay your "unnamed pain" before God asking him to reveal what he sees. It is good your recognize that "it" exists and is hiding within you - help it find an exit door leading to God and as God's light shines on "it" may the grace of God's healing begin laying roots. Blessings Bucky

[@traceyyeo5647]

My withered hand is hiding from my own feelings my own family. My ex and my 2 sons for 7 years. Im scared of feeling. I serve on differnt areas of church. Im scared cause i cant face my own reality. I love to pray for everyone i hide in serving. Does God know im a fraud? Does he realise that i really hurt amd i dont know what to do please help me God face my own reality help me to show them love. I seem to love all my beautiful church family. Is that becasue its not real or cause it means i hide rom my own pain. Abba father please help me

[@BecomeNew]

Tracey we hear your pain and prayers to the merciful God we love and serve. God sees you - and loves you deeply. God hears and knows your pain and wants to comfort you. When you are able to name your pain and bring it into the light - there hope begins to release the stranglehold - the hidden feelings have on you. May you find strength in laying your feelings down at Jesus feet - and may there be a safe place of community you can share your real self with a few trusted friends, perhaps your church offers recovery group support or your small group. Please know you don't have to journey alone - we want you to stay with us a Become New and we will find strength and healing together. Bucky

[@daniellemeadows8291]

❤

[@BecomeNew]

Good Morning Danielle we are SO GLAD to see you joining us today Be Blessed Bucky

[@RoseExieDavis]

procrastination

[@RoseExieDavis]

....procrastination