Quickie: Cats

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[@ptptptman]

why wasn’t Cool Cat consulted on this

[@stratojet8226]

Fool, cool cat is only in good movies!

[@banessuperbrutalmetalfunti2561]

Cool Cat would've saved this movie.

[@youngsmitty347]

Cool Cat Saves The Furries

[@kduhtdkzrt]

Becuase Cool Cat likes to Rock 'n' Roll. He doesn't do musicals.

[@helloworld14895]

Cool Cat is too groovy for this

[@ChristianRodriguez-hz2qb]

One rewrite and this could have been the best horror movie of the decade.

[@Joecbg100]

This was a horror film directed by Dr. Moreau.

[@i3want3cookie]

Im closer to believing these are demons than cats.

[@U.F.O]

This is some Fullmetal Alchemist chimera shit.

[@user-ry4zh4eq2b]

There's a horror movie called catpeople that looks kinda similar to this

[@sadface7457]

Horror musical adaptation would have been a good pivot.

[@ggurunadha]

The cgi reminds me of annoying orange.

[@elimidd6626]

Oh God you're right

[@NucleaRaptor]

NAILED IT 🤣🤣

[@joannzivalich-schutz1492]

Didn't that channel die years ago?

[@pixelkitten9502]

Except worse.

[@yentaiyaoihentai4407]

You remind me of the CGI.

[@milessalzer9063]

Everyone looks like a deep fake in this movie

[@ashsundry]

Miles Salzer hot take: Cats was just publicly released deep fakes practice by the gov

[@abigailshirley5360]

Okay but give the deep fakes a little bit more credit lmao

[@sobatmissqueen5558]

haha that is true... you are first to point that

[@IW-ow9cp]

That's an insult to deepfakes

[@martinez8034]

the worst

[@XxMeatShakexX]

My 60 year old parents were deathly convinced this movie was going to blow the theaters apart how huge it was going to be. Generational gaps amirite

[@whatislife1337]

Makes me think that whoever designed these monstrosities was probably about 60 as well

[@kcvail7409]

Nope. Not a generational thing. This has to be a broadway/show tunes/musical/??? thing.

[@ckopen7192]

when i saw "60" and "deathly" i started bracing for the worsr

[@erty80s]

It was a huge pile of shit

[@headphonic8]

I loved the Broadway show but knew this was going to be a failure. The reasons the Broadway show is good is NOT because of the plotline or ‘realistic’ costumes. It's for the acrobatic live dancing and song tunes. CGI destroys that appeal.

[@CCSABCD]

Why are the cats rat size

[@WTKB82]

Cristian Campos the rats in the film are incredibly tiny for some reason

[@sceerane8662]

dyslexia.

[@BlazingOwnager]

The size scaling issue is just the most nightmarish thing about this movie, and it's almost easy to miss with the foreground cats.

[@janecarrie9388]

Cristian Campos IKR

[@neuropiano]

In the original poetry that the musical is based off of, it says that jellicle cats are “rather small” I still don’t like it, though

[@casperadam6766]

I work at a movie theatre and there's only ever 5 people max in this movie at a time. furthermore every time I sneak in to watch a bit, I leave barely able to process what I witnessed

[@gurgy3]

It is literally just a long sequence of characters introducing themselves. The original musical is available on youtube. There is nothing to process.

[@klancemccocaine9567]

I also work at a movie theatre and ours is packed out a lot? It’s mainly older people it’s strange the generational gap

[@kirahviofficial5761]

EVERY TIME?????

[@casperadam6766]

@@kirahviofficial5761 yeah.

[@casperadam6766]

@@gurgy3 thanks

[@MissingSirius]

I just had to experience this monstrosity. My theater had: two people smoking weed. One girl watching something else on her phone. Someone yell out 'whyyy??'. And random bursts of laughter as the audience collectively lost its mind.

[@OckhamAsylum]

Bizarrely enough, it's the girl watching something else on her phone that baffles me the most. If you're going to experience a horrendous movie, why start watching random youtube videos or something while you're sitting in the theater? It's like putting The Room on only to then stare at snapchat for the entire runtime anyway.

[@edgyninja1910]

@@OckhamAsylum atleast the room is so bad its good

[@drifter402]

Smoking weed in the cinema?

[@Hopium500]

I can only imagine watching this film high.

[@MissingSirius]

@Pferd Schild Yeah, sure. It's all about them likes. Jesus. It was at a shitty theater that had no workers wandering around.

[@jeschoofs]

Reminder that jason derulo claimed his bulge was cgi’d out

[@TheCorrodedMan]

My man has a MAGNUM D O N G

[@Ramsey276one]

Like in that Superman movie???

[@PatricioVertiz]

Oh of course.

[@JotaC]

Like he has any to begin with

[@Golem33]

Literally everything was CGI’d out

[@duartevader2101]

This is even funnier if you are aware that Adum is a furry.

[@publicranger9648]

Adam’s a fucking furry. We’ve lost another one boys

[@Wintd1]

@@publicranger9648 What do you mean "lost", he's always been a furry lmao

[@jeltje50]

@@publicranger9648 lost to what?

[@SuperHornetA51]

Is that fucking Ralph in your pfp?

[@pie3432]

@@filmgeekstudios4393 You know, i've said something I really shouldn't have said. I took a moment to reflect myself as a human being, and realized in a moment of clarity, what I said was fucked up. Regardless or not if you take this apology sincerely is fine, it's the internet, you have no reason to trust my word. I'm more doing this for my own sake anyway, because I don't want to see myself become a toxic fuck on the internet. What I said was cold and harsh, and it seems when I started to get more active on social media, my original view was to be more positive. I've now noticed that after moments of agitation, and just seeing the tunnel viewed visions of people on the interwebs, or the trolls and the bait. I've become the thing I never wanted to be. So, i'm sorry. I wish you a happy Holiday. And while I don't agree with what you said at all, it's no better for me to say something that cold. Whether if what you said was sincere or not.

[@meowpower08]

It’s so bad it’s getting a patch. Like a video game. Cats is the fallout 76 of movies.

[@carlosdeleon7755]

I wish like in fallout 76 someone would hack my brain and steal all my memories from this wretched movie

[@666lupine666]

"Hai, I'm Patches, the other OTHER cat that knows magic for no reason!"

[@gsofficial]

That's a really good analogy for many, many reasons.

[@SeannyyBGood]

Shialaubeef people had high expectations before 76 came out tho. I don’t think anyone had high expectations for this shitstorm lmao

[@meowpower08]

Sme Nashty to be fair the stage musical was really successful so I bet some fans were mildly optimistic

[@ElisaDay_]

This movie is gonna be hilarious to come back to in 15 years that CGI is gonna age like... Well milk.

[@xandermcn]

In 15 years: Cats is so ahead of its time!

[@jimbomyboy9679]

It had already aged like milk when they decided to design the cats as monkey/feline hybrids the size of a mouse Q^Q

[@bethm5852]

Rentium the CGI isn’t the main problem. The character design is god awful.

[@thegamingmeowthtgm6152]

That’s not a fair comparison, At least milk tastes good before it spoils

[@crypticbeast1013]

Xander M behind*

[@catgod7924]

I like reading the critic reviews of this, for an example: "Coming out of the movie theatre I wasn't even sure what a real cat looks like"

[@caitlynroesch5715]

My favorite was one that called the movie "not only a horror, but an endurance test"

[@Ghost7065]

@@caitlynroesch5715 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's all hilarious.

[@NX74205]

My favorite one is that critic that turned into Dr. Manhattan with his review lol

[@disgruntledcashier503]

My favorite was "I'm not much of a cat person, but after this movie, I'm not sure I'm much of a movie person anymore either.

[@hatefulrat]

No one wanted this. Like there was no demand for a cats 2019 film. So it's just a waste of money in my eyes.

[@Not_Always]

Exactly. I have no idea why this was made

[@merkules6]

And it costed 95 million to make... Did 6,5 million on opening day. Ouch.

[@leonardusl5141]

Honestly, "no one asked for this" isn't a very good argument against anything. Some of the best films were things "nobody asked for".

[@danlorett2184]

Yeah but if they didn't make a Cats movie they might have to actually come up with something original.

[@ryanbarker5217]

@@leonardusl5141 you misunderstand the phrase. it applies to remakes/reboots, e.g. 'terminator: dark fate.' 'no one asked for this to be made' has the implication that it already has a version, usually existing in its ultimate form waiting to be bastardized.

[@belkxu]

This movie is a secret test: whoever can sit through it will be taken away by CIA to fight alien invaders

[@Dracorex13]

Oh fuck, I'm not ready to fight the aliens.

[@youraverageyoutubeuser8353]

LOL

[@skullcrusade3436]

It's good tho

[@Dracorex13]

@@skullcrusade3436 No it's not. The 1998 performance is on Dailymotion. Watch that instead. This version of Cats is garbage.

[@skullcrusade3436]

@@Dracorex13 If I liked this, I guess I'm in for a treat. Thanks for the suggestion.

[@finerz321]

My mum is taking my 21 year old sister to watch this tonight as her “Christmas Present”. God help them both.

[@8Oresamada8]

Finley Clark I would love to know what happened😂

[@the_inquisitive_inquisitor]

Where they're going not even God can save them

[@thanksforreading33]

How did they think of the movie?

[@dragonslayermasterornstein83]

Mate you have to tell us. We need to know

[@lukedoyle3002]

Merry Christmas! Have some cancer

[@sage-vb8ge]

if the film was cartoon animated rather than realistic, the reception would be so different and its a shame that there is a timeline where we get that rather than this over realistic nightmare

[@BirdieBirdieBirdie566]

aiden this was my thought if they had just animated the entire thing it would have been sooooo much better. And added more of a plot. Audiences have seen talking animal movies before. It’s not much of a stretch.

[@rachelfoster2872]

I saw some old concept art for an animated version of Cats, but the production got scrapped. Which is a shame, because the concepts looked great! They looked like actual (stylised) cats and would have looked wonderful animated!

[@Tacom4ster]

Speilberg was gonna make an animated movie on Cats

[@ThiccSumoWarDog]

We could still get it, just gotta wait for a studio that gives a damn to pick it up.

[@FlixDerpman]

While yes it would be less creepy, that wouldn’t fix the plot or tone or anything else. If you want a good animated musical about cats, watch cats don’t dance.

[@BlackBeWhite2k7]

It'd be some shame if this was the last movie Ian Mckellen was in before he died.

[@thefaulkness]

Ian mckellen is currently doing a one man show on the west end (that he just toured the country with) where he does Gandalf, Shakespeare and his cats bit and I'm super hoping the filmed version of that is released at some point

[@rosebyanyname]

Or Judi Dench - she’s half blind and 85.

[@argondrolf785]

he's got a thriller coming out where he plays an old man that marries women for their money and then kills them. Actually looks quite good.

[@pictureofacat9525]

@@argondrolf785 Name please?

[@kamikazejump5022]

@@pictureofacat9525 The Good Liar

[@Rathdrgnknight]

The appeal of the musical is the dance. The appeal of this movie is having a 2 hour fever dream.

[@headphonic8]

Exactly! The live, acrobatic dancing is what makes it impressive. Add in a bunch of shitty CGI and it destroys that

[@Marixpress2]

What about when Idris Elba’s character is suddenly not wearing his signature coat and looks totally naked? Castrated but naked.

[@personne980]

I literally hated that part oml

[@casperrabbit7254]

The worst part is the character is meant to be a ginger tabby, yet for some reason they made him ambiguously brown 🤣 My guess is to avoid a racism row but they went and cast a black dancer as Victoria so who the fuck knows

[@pyrrhusofepirus8491]

Former Things so this is what the Commandant is doing these days

[@nomukun1138]

They made his fur the color of his human-ass skin.

[@martinez8034]

the movie sucks

[@gustavol.0714]

"Cats is the worst thing to happen to Cats since Dogs" -Rotten Tomatoes reviewer

[@woolof9744]

Lol

[@KarmikCykle]

Someone could compile all the Cats reviews into a book and I'm convinced it could hit the NY Times best seller list. Some of those reviews are pure poetry.

[@metallic4888]

Is that a real quote? LMAO

[@madaggar9765]

People just don't understand, this movie is beyond innovative. It's the first movie to receive an opening weekend patch, to make the CGI less bad.

[@violetchan6402]

atleast the sonic movie team did it beforehand.

[@LostApotheosis]

Did that really happen?

[@madaggar9765]

@@LostApotheosis Yes, lots of articles on it. Here's a random one I plucked from google: slate.com/culture/2019/12/cats-tom-hooper-new-version-universal-updated-special-effects-cgi.html

[@monokoUwU]

@@violetchan6402 pretty much

[@foolishkiwi4546]

@@thepeaceofbread9905 Sarcasm.

[@kurtis9230]

Everyone: it's the furries fault Furries: it's everyone else's fault

[@the_inquisitive_inquisitor]

Everyone: we didn't ask for this

[@yourarchnemesis8453]

no one asked for this

[@poopoopeepee4827]

Who is everyone?

[@multilad816]

@@poopoopeepee4827 Anyone who knows this movie

[@God_Help_Me11]

@@poopoopeepee4827 I guess everyone besides furries...

[@dank_smirk2ndchannel200]

CATS poster: "Y O U W I L L B E L I E V E" Me: "Oh I believe alright… … I believe that hell is real now

[@thedude2361]

XD

[@ivangarcia3500]

Catastrophic

[@lovelyheiferdev]

Meow-calypse.

[@victorconway444]

Hiiiiss-deous

[@JediMasterBaiter]

Litter-ally purrgatory

[@PhyreI3ird]

:DDDD

[@louminouz]

GET OU T

[@Torus2112]

I'm willing to bet this isn't Adum's first quickie involving cats.

[@ghostuscoyote]

He should collab with Shane Dawson.

[@elchubacabra2840]

As mean as that is, it is really funny

[@overlookers]

Exhibit A: Scoot

[@lonewalkerproductions]

Lmao

[@AH-be6bu]

*FBI OPEN UP*

[@swankelly]

I tried to get my cat to sing a song about who he is. He just purred and put his paw on my cheek. Good enough for me.

[@computermash8542]

I tried to bring my cat and the movie theater attendants shot her on sight for fear the film would infect her and spread to the general populous. RIP fuzzy.

[@God_Help_Me11]

I don't have a cat

[@gabrieljordan8015]

I should make a donation to him just for making it through the whole movie.

[@genericname34]

there’s a scene in CATS where one cat says to another cat “what’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” and it was at that moment I knew God was dead

[@ianrocco8453]

God's not dead he resurrected Sonic from the grave and gave him a second chance.

[@Reub3]

Or rather. God heard that line and turned his back on all humanity. "you're on your own" God said.

[@klystron2010]

God is dead and we're raping the corpse.

[@koheletcalaforexclan6508]

Nay, god isn’t dead, he’s rethinking his life

[@jungtothehuimang]

There are so many cat puns in this movie I was wincing in pain by the end

[@alonkilci4352]

Still a scarier horror movie than Slenderman.

[@yooo4]

Anything is better than Slenderman movie.

[@HeilRay]

Horny slender man

[@Assassinboy8084fun]

Not saying much

[@emangenak4366]

@@yooo4 Even The Emoji Movie?

[@yooo4]

@@emangenak4366 That is like comparing breast cancer and testicle cancer.

[@KarmikCykle]

Cats is literally impossible to adapt to the silver screen, there's not plot TO adapt.

[@vanroyal244]

You could make a game show out of it tho.

[@literallyglados]

@@vanroyal244 but you shouldnt

[@Grebnedlo]

That’s what makes it great

[@minimoth]

I grew up with cats, my dad had the musical on dvd and I watched it all the time. I loved it, and I still do. Even though it was pretty much about a cat cult I enjoyed it. The remake however, is hot garbage that takes itself way to seriously. It worked on a stage, there was a reason it ran as long as it did, but when it died it deserve to be left in its grave. There was no reason to remake it, no new audience wanted it, big yikes from me.

[@the_inquisitive_inquisitor]

@@minimoth oof I'm sorry for my shitty comment, I must have posted that drunk. I'm just gonna go ahead and delete that for ya

[@martinez8034]

this movie sucks

[@appalachiabrauchfrau]

I also loved the musical. My parents took me to see it, front row on Broadway. Later I went on to perform as Rumpleteazer for off Broadway productions. Decided to see the film as a past Cats performer and I was very, very put off lmao. Every Cats performer I've known jokes about spandex, legwarmer and armwarmer PTSD -- the fact that they would CHOOSE to implement the stage costuming in a movie boggles the mind. They could have been actual cats ffs! Also there's just no plot, it's a talent show to see who gets to be reincarnated, you cannot shove enough plot into a film version to justify its existence. Only theater kids and Broadway nutters really enjoy Cats to begin with. I know there was Cats Fever in the 90's where they'd give kids face paint and let them meet the cast, people would camp out for days to see it, some songs were in big parades, etc. but that was because of the Broadway-ness of it all. We expect more from film.

[@melofelo4484]

If you’re going to animate everything anyway, just make them normal f-ing cats.

[@Theyungcity23]

Meloetta Senpai this isn’t an animated movie. The costumes are cg...

[@audreyelizabeths]

@@Theyungcity23 so they technically still animated it, from my understanding

[@deardeer1469]

@@Theyungcity23 it's computer generated animation. The sets and objects are also CG so most of it is actually animated

[@Theyungcity23]

@@deardeer1469 That's not accurate at all.

[@taylorfaulk4750]

@@Theyungcity23 cg is animation...

[@Chris-ht9ug]

cat

[@popeyeman3563]

Ukiki cat

[@jonahspong9381]

Ukiki me when cat

[@floomdesk]

Yes?

[@danny1204]

cat

[@shawklan27]

*DOG*

[@goos4711]

Don't forget, they released a "day one patch."

[@pedrobona]

It's like the characters are "reverse furries"

[@Jaies_]

This movie would have been better if they literally consulted furries LMAO

[@MikeHunt-xj5xf]

@@jakespacepiratee3740 if that were true there'd have been more penis.

[@lil.alliegator]

@@MikeHunt-xj5xf You are joking right >.>

[@MikeHunt-xj5xf]

@@lil.alliegator Oh.... boobs too...

[@lavaqiex127]

​@MrFishbone111 If weebs touched this, here would be rape and loli underage girls like around toddler children so please no for god sake, i'm not even joking ! Just look at some random hentai sites, click on popularity and you will know what i mean.

[@luaruta64]

@@lavaqiex127 Sadly that true. This generation is really fucked up.

[@jayanths1221]

Still hard to believe they managed to get Judi Dench and Sir Ian McKellen for this movie. Blackmail is the only reasonable conclusion..

[@thecinematicmind]

Ian McKellen was one of the only good things about the film.

[@eliotmccann2589]

Judi Dench was originally slated to be in the original West End production, but she sustained an injury during rehearsals.

[@ThierryRocksTV]

To be fair Patrick Stewart played the talking shit in The Emoji Movie and his career is still fine

[@Humorless_Wokescold]

@@ThierryRocksTV I think Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart just like taking stupid gigs whenever they're not doing stage shows nowadays. Also to distract themselves from how insane UK politics have become.

[@tonysoprano200]

9k

[@callums1235]

I feel intense anxiety whenever I look at the characters in this movie.

[@hannatolander7910]

I'm sorry if someone already said this: The reason that there is no plot is that the musical is an adaptation of T S Eliots marvellous book of poetry - "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats". It's a surrealistic collection of light verse, in which there is no plot whatsoever. I always wondered why on Earth it was ever turned into a musical, but it was. I strongly recommend the book to any lover of cats and/or poetry.

[@blankpage9277]

I never knew Cats had a plot and thought it was just the poems adapted into songs.

[@headphonic8]

@Anna Dayton it’s fun because of the impressive dancing and well written songs. It’s better to enjoy it as a series of entertaining acrobatic live performances than thinking you’ll get invested in the plot

[@tapp1184]

The CG looks like my sleep paralysis demon hasn't fully rendered yet.

[@ruffusgoodman4137]

Does he sing like those atrocities? Seek out a priest immediately

[@revkun]

I believe this film is going for less of a musical drama and more for a test of human psychological endurance it’s very intelligent and I could see this being the next big horror franchise

[@gustavoboscardin9351]

Maybe it will be our era greatest tool of torture? Our equivalent to those inquisition torture tools?

[@motthebarber9869]

Looooooool there was 4 people when I watched it, and 2 people walked out half way 😂😂

[@Marixpress2]

The guy sitting near me was snoring loudly

[@katherinefotopoulos9244]

It was so bad. I would've walked out 20 mins in but I was seeing it with a friend and we stuck it out. Not worth it.

[@revkun]

My friend went and saw this stoned off his mind and I kid you not he came to my house crying from fear. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen

[@LiveForFuntasy]

The appeal of the Cats play is the singing and dancing, and has never been about any plot. It was adapted from a book of poems, which is why it's so baffling they tried to make a movie out of it. Much less a $100mil budget movie due to the unnecessary and detrimental CGI. Turns out that Amblimation was working on a cartoon version in the 90s, which could have possibly worked. At least in that, the characters wouldn't look like uncanny monstrosities.

[@benjaminedlind6781]

You say that like Pixar, who was the leading production company in bleeding edge CG animated films at the time, could somehow pull off humanized cats. The toys in Toy Story were objects with relatively advanced facial expressions, but lighting, fur textures, and anything organic or living looked like an monstrosity until the early 2000s. The only other film they'd done during that time was Bugs Life, which also wasn't much of a visual spectacle outside of the "Feature Length CG Animated Film" at the time gimmick. Maybe early to mid-2000s could've worked, but then you have to consider that a lot of CG movies were pretty heavily cringeworthy, so it's about as concerning.

[@TheBersergner]

@@benjaminedlind6781 pretty sure he means a 2d cartoon not 3d animation.

[@Theyungcity23]

They already did make a successful movie out of it.

[@dumpster_mcgee_96]

Why didn’t they just do what the broadway show did with the COSTUMES!!!!!!

[@amhk5918]

Right? I watched it yesterday and did a tour beforehand and and the costumes are amazing!!

[@johnny--guitar]

because then they wouldn't get the publicity of eldritch horror cats

[@chriscorben-green2640]

Because the studio went "Muh, people won't go to see it unless we CGI everything!"

[@PhyreI3ird]

@@johnny--guitar This movie's production is now officially a call of cthulhu plot if you ask me. Only cultists seeking to bring back the old ones would make something like this.

[@WildwoodClaire1]

I saw the stage version. It's excrement too and is only better because on stage I can actually SEE what all the dancers are doing.

[@HoliTalksAboutStuff]

i bet shane got off to this movie.

[@theblackbaron4119]

Something, something fucked a cat ...

[@brunobucciaratiswife]

A lot are gonna disagree with me but the actual play and the 1998 movie are amazing. The dancing, the costumes, the music, it really lit up my life. It feels like watching actual cats, not just... cursed shit. I actually feel like there’s a plot to the film, but you have to watch it a few times and you have to think in the perspective of both a cat and a theatre lover.

[@TheActualJeffery]

I agree. I kinda like the new movie, and really love the old movie, and the play. The new movie wasn’t THAT bad but uhhh.... it ruined it.

[@isaacvaldez8233]

Somehow I blame James Corden for this

[@poppers7317]

It can never be wrong to blame James Corden for anything.

[@butt317]

How is that guy even famous

[@squidincsquid]

@@butt317 because he likely gave head to get ahead.

[@roseh8958]

@@butt317 the UK is very baffled how he made it in America

[@ThreadBomb]

He can be good when he's a secondary character, but he shouldn't star in anything.

[@FoodUser]

I bet even furries hate this

[@jus1029ph]

Adam is an actual furry, so...

[@jUckponY]

Can confirm

[@FoodUser]

The character designs made all his fur stand up it seems

[@cosmic3004]

100% correct

[@SomeGuyArchivist]

am also a furry, will also confirm i hate this

[@DaMaster012]

YMS: "[Cats] is a nonsense musical with no real story that just drags on forever." *Sideways would like to know your location.* Also YMS: "Surprisingly, from what I can tell, they actually seemed to really care about the music." *SIDEWAYS HAS OBTAINED YOUR LOCATION. START RUNNING.*

[@thatmanrunning]

I genuinely have never laughed so hard in a cinema. The movie is insane.

[@captainnwalps6689]

Adam: watches a pirated bootleg version of rise of skywalker Also Adam: watches cats in the theater

[@finerz321]

Captain Nwalps iirc he was going to watch TROS in theatres, but something came up and he couldn’t make it

[@captainnwalps6689]

Finley Clark yeah yeah yeah I watched his review, idk how he can give a proper review when watching a shitty bootleg version but whatever, and you know his furry ass was going to see cats day 1 in theaters

[@liamjm9278]

@@captainnwalps6689 Whatever you say David Lynch.

[@yngbck]

wouldn't it make more sense to make it an animated movie, like a traditional 2d animated movie, kind of like old Disney musicals? the music talent is there, get some nice old-school visuals and i think it would make a movie that people would actually want to see, even if the plot is shit.

[@brondermody3409]

Spielberg actually planned that and had some nice concept art as well: www.cartoonbrew.com/feature-film/why-steven-spielbergs-hand-drawn-adaptation-of-cats-never-made-it-past-development-178296.html I can't imagine it would get a huge amount of money but it would've probably become a classic and earned a decent following and more money

[@Poke-Chann]

ew mayonnaise oh wow I really like this

[@Liz-mp5dq]

It could work even better as an animated web series with the different segments of so people wouldn't expect a big story unlike a movie.

[@brondermody3409]

@@Liz-mp5dq That sounds good! Also, a big issue with the songs was that they introduced each character, which was boring, so a web series could follow a different character each time with music tailored to the episode

[@gur262]

@@Liz-mp5dq or you would have to make a story about cats, which. Well. Can be almost anything I guess, each 20min episode revolving around one song.

[@JasonRoggasch]

Sounds like its a real CATastrophe

[@the_inquisitive_inquisitor]

I heard it was PAWful

[@herosam1390]

All of you have a special place in hell

[@mitchfletcher2386]

@@herosam1390 Are you feline any better meow?

[@Sir_Squirrelington_III]

These puns are PURRfect

[@stinkerpops]

“The music was the one aspect of this movie that wasn’t horrendous” Oh, Adum, if only you understood…

[@kadenp4130]

It would look so much better if the whole movie was animated and the characters looked like the aristocats

[@dorianager3594]

Exactly! It would have been so much better

[@PatricioVertiz]

I'm sure Adam would've prefered "Horses" amirite.

[@Blckk89]

Or "Cool Cat"s.

[@geoleo965]

It's Adum, bud.

[@juancosta7162]

I know I would've preferred big flaccid horsecocks flopping around instead of cat tails

[@lipid9119]

@@juancosta7162 Stop, my penis can only get so erect.

[@fecal_position6412]

Happy hands 👐

[@Yellowshirtmann]

Idk why everyone's complaining, I for one love scary movies so I'll definitely be looking forward to this movie.

[@commonsense8069]

The original stage musical has a certain quirkiness to it that makes it enjoyable. This CGI adaptation is just creepy

[@FieryRedmond]

Has Adam ever given a film a 1/10

[@evangibson2438]

Yes

[@gabiciupitu2461]

ye , Detective Picaku

[@richdezerga4519]

this year he gave that to glass, ma, and Aladin. He might have given that to other movies but I don't remember

[@phish9064]

Also Best F(r)iends, Slenderman, and a Wrinkle in Time

[@riddypr]

Glass, Aladdin (2019), Ma and A Wrinkle in Time.

[@kalinroar3366]

My understanding is the cats are auditioning one by one to get reborn or something of the kind. That's literally the whole plot from what I gather.

[@Soapcookies]

That's about it!

[@TheCorrodedMan]

Soapcookies A movie about a bunch of cats singing songs about how they want to die?

[@Soapcookies]

@@TheCorrodedMan yeah that's literally it.

[@elimidd6626]

As a person who listened to the CD a lot as a kid, yep, that's pretty much it

[@katelynbauer6184]

I think the only "action plot" (at least in the actual Play) was when Macavity like, stole Old Deuteronomy

[@deadpanjohnny2081]

Cats: The movie to watch with your eyes closed but ears open

[@sirtalkalotdoolittle]

No Cool Cat cameo? For shame!

[@yomanz1993]

Let’s get this right: Rum Tum is the cat that FUCKS

[@BigWheel.]

Dick tator

[@themightysomeone9604]

That's Jason Derulo right?

[@stares_mthrfckrly]

I feel like the Idris Elba cat fucks more than Jason Derulo's cat lol

[@charliebirnie8052]

Rum tum tugger is the cat that FUCKS mr Mistofolees. Anyone can fight me on this. Rum tum tugger and mr Mistofolees are lovers.

[@ijustpostedth1s724]

It's a Silicon Valley Reference. I get it.

[@CassieCollision]

Jesus Christ, looking at this movie makes me want to vomit.

[@garyoakham9723]

How hard is it to get some cute girls and give them cat ears. It’s not that hard Hollywood. Just copy nekopara

[@CassieCollision]

@@garyoakham9723 What makes this production even more tragic is the fact that there was going to be an animated Cats movie by Steven Spielberg in the 90's where the cats actually look like, well, _cats_. Seeing the concept art is just depressing. www.cartoonbrew.com/feature-film/why-steven-spielbergs-hand-drawn-adaptation-of-cats-never-made-it-past-development-178296.html

[@ShakespearsCyst]

"It is a nonsense musical with no real story that just drags on forever." And yet I love it lol

[@SunnyLovetts]

L.A. Hauer only white women liked this movie for some reason

[@ShakespearsCyst]

@@SunnyLovetts It must be our catnip 😺

[@xandermcn]

It's a bit of a shock to find out that I'm a white woman.

[@izzyfernandes6862]

it absolutely has a story... cats being reborn and the process thereof

[@MomoKunDaYo]

Why are all plays so gay. This is about cats having sex? I dont get it... My ex dragged me through these, and damn they are boring, its like watching a movie but removing all the magic and effects and leaving a boring story.. And theres always a black guy with aids lol.

[@rainycloud10]

Everybody's talking about the cats looking horrifying but nobody's talking about the cockroaches. Them cockroaches were the real stuff of nightmares.

[@TKinfinity01]

Bill Murray should have reprised his role as Garfield in this.

[@nomemeshere4807]

The only person/ character that could've saved this adaptation

[@jayarby8494]

Budget: $95 million Opening weekend: $6.5 million Oof

[@Iffy350]

I know which studio Disney will be acquiring next.

[@mji245]

*Minecraft Noises:* *OH* *OH* *OH*

[@Not_Always]

they had to be aware that no one wanted to see this movie

[@tonysoprano200]

Oo

[@ImperatorZor]

Let's do a full fursuit version of Cats: the Musical!

[@highjumpstudios2384]

YES

[@charliebirnie8052]

The musical isn’t about the story. Just because it has a different structure doesn’t mean it sucks. Cats is about the music the poetry and the dancing. It’s super fun with a strong emotional core.

[@mastermarkus5307]

Cats is less ridiculous than Starlight Express but its still pretty bad for the reasons you mentioned. I have found it entertaining to watch on stage in the past, and I like the stage costumes, but even the music isn't particularly great as far as musicals go (it's a mixed bag, but I always hated the whiny synth leitmotif). It doesn't have a story because it was based on a collection of poems. But you can HAVE a book of poems without a plot! Musicals by their nature SHOULD have a plot and I have no idea why this musical is so popular and lucrative for Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[@preettyE]

I guess people just like cats

[@CrazyPangolinLady]

When I initially saw a clip of Starlight Express I thought it was about robots, and was pretty excited. Imagine my disappointment when I found out it was really about *trains*

[@vinnythewebsurfer]

It may not have a plot whatsoever but I’ll be damn if I’m not entertained by what I’ve seen from the musical movie 20 years ago. The sub text involving rum tum tights and Mr Mistofolees was very amusing

[@lytra_]

Master Markus ngl id say there is a plot. Legit a group of cats trying to prove why they should be the one who ascends; with the side story of Old D being kidnapped.

[@linwong1494]

I feel like its much more of a less conventional way of story telling. Like the subplots of Grisbelle's past and her resurrection, Old Deuteronomy's relation to all the cats, Macavity etc... Definitely would say though that CATS was bound to fail as a movie. With a musical I believe it's much easier to get away with an unconventional and disjointed story whereas in movie format it doesn't translate well since you're expecting a story you can follow since what you see is strictly controlled, whereas in a musical setting you can actually follow a specific cat on stage and see how express their character without words. For me the fun was also putting two and two together through the acting and song to figure out the relationships between the cats. Also I think a lot of it is a time thing, where this oddly put together musical had a novelty of 1. cats being the main characters 2.the songs are pretty catchy to me at least 3.just the spectacle bizarreness of it all making it fascinating 4. gotta credit the dancers and singers, im sure theres much better out there nowadays, but it's nothing to scoff at for the time CATS was put to stage. Now it's been like a decade and the novelty has worn off, theres little you can build upon to make it great.

[@YellowTwerker]

Ok but are you also going to watch the patched version

[@onslaught147]

Now we have to wait for our movies to get patched, smh... Pretty soon you'll see a "don't pre-order movies" movement starting.

[@lovelyheiferdev]

@@onslaught147 fuck the studios with that bullcrap tbh

[@Iffy350]

Day three patch. They should’ve consulted a triple A video game company on how to release patches.

[@MrDrCthulhu]

We are living in a dark future. Can't wait to buy the 3-year Season Pass for the next Star Wars trilogy!

[@Iffy350]

MrDrCthulhu Too late. It will require the Disney+ Premium Pack.

[@missystephenson8806]

literal furries could make a better movie than this.

[@gagne6928]

Shut up furry is dumb stupid weird i hate

[@creepyscrawly113]

Furries are just regular ass really creative people. I don’t get this whole mindset about “ even furries” could do this like fuck off.

[@jimbomyboy9679]

yeah cuz we draw animals as ANIMALS, just standing on 2 legs. If they'd been worried about the dance numbers because 4-legged cats don't dance, they could've just made them anthro ( -_-)

[@drifter402]

No they couldnt

[@missystephenson8806]

@@jimbomyboy9679 ik, i'm a furry

[@rockinthecazbah4]

"7 people in the theater opening night" That's hilarious.

[@caseyaulbach7693]

Another 10/10? Two in one year!

[@tj_6964]

Honestly this strikes me as a movie that’ll have cult status around it as one of those “entertainingly bad” movies like Showgirls or The Room.

[@InfernoScorpion14]

I highly doubt this movie has a "Everybody got aids and shit" line worth preserving.

[@tj_6964]

Negi Springfield You could be right, but only time will tell.

[@thefaulkness]

@@InfernoScorpion14 they say that in cats?!

[@lfsuassuna]

Saw a tweet saying that this film surpassed "so bad it's good" and has become so bad it's eldritch

[@fawnieee]

@@thefaulkness no, it's from the film, show girls.

[@dingbing1539]

I love how if there were furries on staff, the movie would IMPROVE.

[@caleb0keefe14]

If you think about it we would all be sphinxes in this movie

[@helpimarock66]

I actually saw the musical on stage when I was a kid something like 15 years ago, and the lack of plot was something that bothered me even back then (Adum isn’t exaggerating, each character sequentially introduces themselves throughout the play and that’s it, no other plot).. So when I first saw the trailer for the movie I was thinking that they would have to make up some kind of narrative or plot for the film or at the very least make one of the many characters a lead protagonist and give them some kind of an arc. I didn’t think they’d actually adapt the play as it was, because there’s no story to follow, it’s just musical sequences (which is fine for a stage production, but very rarely works for a movie, a famous exception being Disney’s “Fantasia”). Out of all the broadway musicals to adapt into a movie, they couldn’t have made a worse choice- it doesn’t translate at all. What idiot in Hollywood thought this had any kind of potential?

[@jaketaf98]

As bad as this sounds, I kinda hope that this movie flops at the box office so studios understand that absolutely nobody ever wants anything like this again.

[@Joecbg100]

It bombed in the States and Universal is sending a REVISED VERSION out next week, it'll be like EA offering new patches or something.

[@cannibalbunnygirl]

so even movies are getting day one patches now?

[@alexanderwoolverton2813]

That's not bad at all, that's just capitalism

[@jojothebard6687]

JosephDiEgidioIII why though? That is quite possibly the most nonsensical decision I’ve seen a studio make. This movie is doomed to begin with. Making a few tweaks with the visuals is like polishing a turd. It’s still shit.

[@skechij5856]

The Bard We all know that people will eat shit and pay for the opportunity.

[@bloodrunsclear]

This whole musical is a bunch of completely unrelated poems stapled together: no kidding it has no plot

[@danibrent3068]

Honestly, you're better off just listening to the soundtrack instead. The music is fun, and you won't have ungodly monstrosities torturing you on top of it

[@TonicSpirits]

Supposedly, using CGI over makeup was in part to convince the big stars to take the roles because they wouldn't have to sit through hours of makeup and wear uncomfortable costumes during shooting. Doesn't mean it doesn't look horrid.

[@welldonesteak_with_water]

they could have made the CG look like the makeup of the stage play instead of doing these abominations for some reasons.

[@ArminFalcon]

Lmao wth people hate this movie it scared me heavy like a horror movie should.

[@thecinematicmind]

*Accurate*

[@VVVU2x]

No joke, that moonlight dance scene looked like some shit from Suspiria.

[@dildofaggins1203]

Cats: The movie for furries that even furries hated Sonic the Hedgehog unavailable for comment

[@paintedtrillium3900]

For me the entertainment of the musical Cats comes from the amazing dancing and singing live on stage, which goes completely out the window when you add CGI and celebrities

[@marysmusicals1677]

Literally no one, not even people who really like the cats stage show, asked for this movie. I mean, isn’t there already even a recording of the staged production available for purchase anyways?

[@rosenrot234]

I would have been way more invested in a current recording of the show. The last recorded version for television was in 98.

[@FablesTold]

I had a vhs of the musical when I was a kid that I rewatched til it broke. I have a well worn copy of it on DVD. I did not want a CGI'd movie. I was concerned when I heard they were making it. Then I saw the trailer, and was horrified. Definitely should have just done another recording of the stage play.

[@marysmusicals1677]

rosenrot234 yeah I’d personally be fully onboard with a new recording of the revival cast

[@cptswaggermuffins2887]

Adam: This is the ugliest movie i have ever seen in my entire life. Ratatoing: *introduces itself in song and dance*

[@AnnoyingMystery]

vincent feng even ratatoing is better than this. cats had the budget and talent to do something decent, but they chose t h i s

[@mosleythehoesley]

My mom took my sisters to see it and she came back saying it was great. I don’t feel safe...

[@oneinathousand2156]

Judi Dench lifting her kitty leg is going to haunt my dreams.

[@nissenilsson9158]

Best horror movie of the decade

[@sucons4254]

I was in a stage production of cats so I CAN TELL YOU THE PLOT v Cats have 9 lives. To decide who gets to move on to the next life, all cats meet once a year where their leader makes this decision. The songs introduce each cat because they're trying to convince you to pick them. BOOM

[@thecinematicmind]

and hilariously the film has less of a plot than the musical did.

[@odoridori]

They all want to fucking die?

[@AnnoyingMystery]

name name they dont want to die like,,,, right on the spot. they want to just have the promise that theyre gonna get to go to another life whenever they DO die. if one of the kittens was chosen, they wouldnt have just fucking murdered the poor thing right there on the spot, im sure they would have waited until the cat died naturally. grizabella only died during the ending because she was already old and sick.

[@Theyungcity23]

The Cinematic Mind in what way. They literally added plot elements and a protagonist into the film. Please explain how that is less plot and narrative than the musical.

[@appalachiabrauchfrau]

@@AnnoyingMystery old comment but as a performer OP should have made the death part more clear. They ascend to the heaviside layer, they don't pass on physically. They're spirited away, given new premise/form and are brought back to live a new life.

[@AkiDave]

I wanted to scream when we saw Idris Elba take off his coat

[@darrenmack1813]

AkiDave the

[@AkiDave]

Darren Mack huh

[@jungtothehuimang]

You could see his belly button even with CGI I fucking yelled out loud in the theater at the part I couldn't hold my laughter I absolutely fucking lost it

[@tonytheegghaintz9572]

I love how Adam still puts "quickie" in the title of these videos as if he still even makes full length reviews anymore.

[@the_inquisitive_inquisitor]

Full length, what are you talking about? A full length review should be at least 20-30 minutes long.

[@tonytheegghaintz9572]

@@the_inquisitive_inquisitor i agree. And he's uploaded like maybe 2 of those in 3 years

[@headsgrowback1]

Didn't you mean "it drags on FURR ever"

[@cannibalbunnygirl]

That was an important claws in the contract

[@KhayJayArt]

GET OUT

[@headsgrowback1]

@@KhayJayArt calm down, I'm just kitten around.

[@Kiwi_boii]

The characters/cats in the movie look more like mice because everything is up sized and they shrank Where in the live stage production everything looks perfect

[@brasteen1]

"And nothing of value was lost."

[@carolinefake9920]

I’m a HUGE fan of the musical, but I am not excited to see this.

[@xandermcn]

Don't let other people ruin it for you. It's so bizarre you are gonna love it 😂

[@charliebirnie8052]

Xander M I love the musical but I didn’t love the movie. Everything in the movie was just not as good as it is in the stage show. Except for Skimbleshanks. That song was done so well in the movie