{YTP} ~ Eccentric Severe 2mors

Or, "The Vent Honk Rink Strip" - wherein a gentleman talks about some of the possible ways one might conduct business in a fictional grocery store that isn't real and takes place in the video game Minecraft.
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DaThings2: / dathings2

[@DaThings]

there was supposed to be text on the screen at 0:13 but honestly it's funnier with just an ominous still of a guy smoking a cigarette

[@mackback319]

what was the text 👁️

[@CocoTheMii]

the world needs to know 👁️

[@myrajoyce783]

agree

[@lappy.486]

tell us what the text was supposed to be >:)))

[@skrub_king]

you gotta tell us man please

[@AmMilVer]

"If you suspect that any employee isn't working... shhh." one of the truest things ever pooped

[@jasonkeith2832]

Almost as poignant as the ending about shoplifting, as it pertains to nationwide chains.

[@Seydaschu]

Prevent some snitchuations.

[@bugjams]

Or you could just do your job. Shoplifting and not doing your job are not the epic "anti-capitalist rebellionz!!!!" acts you think they are. You're only serving to make the manager's job harder, which means hour cuts, higher prices, and a generally shittier experience for everyone shopping there. Most people who shop at big chains are unfortunately lower-class, and it's an extremely white and privileged take to think that shoplifting or slacking is doing anything to the big corporations. In reality you're only screwing over the underpaid workers who have to pick up your slack, and the lower-class families who shop there.

[@lxmesoda]

​@@Seydaschutrue tho

[@SilvaWolf.]

1:30

[@allthingstbv8278]

"remember: troll all salespeople and vendors. limit their access to the store's bathroom. it's your area. protect it."

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

This came up while I was reading it here, HONESTLY, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

[@favoritemustard3542]

@@FriskDrinksBrisk idk, but you do know you miss out on an extra joke or two by not turning on the captions, right? js! 👍

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

​@@favoritemustard3542 I know. I'm not a noob to the dathings fandom. Im just too digitally lazy.

[@RootedHat]

​@friskdrinksbrisk wait how is Undertale a game about you?

[@Sakhmeov]

@@FriskDrinksBrisk You're legitally dazy.

[@BlitztheDragon]

"Can I have a good day?" "No." "Okay." Sums up my day to day life.

[@AmMilVer]

this is your boss from the hoi4 mod - get back to work

[@LittleGenieBaby]

🤣🤣☠️

[@Sakhmeov]

This is why I used to play Total Anger Management Playcase a lot back in the day. It was the only thing that would help against all the incredibly discomfortable uncomfort of all my relatives checking me out.

[@cat_with_a_witch_hat]

Me too, bro, me too

[@SilvaWolf.]

3:21

[@terranova_ca]

"If it doesnt scan, dont ask anyone, just guess the price!" This is surreal corporatist humor at its finest. Team Profits 2: Higher Margins DLC

[@KyleBrownIsALoser]

*higher margins update

[@Fay7666]

A variation of this is actual Target policy. If it doesn't scan and they can't look it up (both in their system, as well as online) they can just assign it a price themselves based on similar products.

[@uhhhmaeve]

I do this all the time at my job lol

[@TheGreatsagegoku]

I happen to know for some reason, that as of a few years ago cashiers at safeway could apply a price correction to an item, which would bring the price down by as much as entered into the system. Over a certain dollar amount would require a managers authorizartion codes and badge scan, however there was no restriction on how manyvtimes this function could be applied to an indiviual item in a transaction and the maximum dollar amount allowable to discount without authorization wouldn't take long for a cashier to familiarize themselves with. And if one is fast with a touch display input and doesn't mind the repeated motion of running the same function several times, they could theoretically discount an entire grocery order down to a few cents. I happen to know it was once possible, if it was done, and if it still is possible...who can say.

[@Irrelevant402]

"If the customer jokes about it 'being free' you are allowed to punch them. The law is on your side."

[@cs188]

Eggxellent! Now I know how to bag the customers' remains in the event of them perishing. *wavey smile*

[@orlandowordsmith6208]

That's true! (Peter wavy face)

[@Jacorywoohoo]

We all learn something new!

[@DougSalad]

free screensavers!

[@Sakhmeov]

How convenient! Then all you have to do is put them in the back seat and press the little button, and eject them out onto the road.

[@lunameriweather7693]

👁️〰️👁️

[@jacobnichols2225]

This is a certified broken egg on the floor moment.

[@crusatyr1452]

Relatable

[@creativelibertiesweretaken3366]

I was a broken egg on the floor once

[@christopherwilliams9418]

That is less than honest... CLEARLY this type of situation is potato chips?

[@mizukittyakinyama]

@@creativelibertiesweretaken3366they locked me in a store

[@redpepper74]

@@mizukittyakinyamaa retail store

[@JackPoppy]

How you managed to create a Loss joke out of innocuous super market training videos, I will never understand. Genius. Bravo.

[@GabyGeorge1996]

What’s the time stamp?

[@JDAWG2111]

​@@GabyGeorge19965:56

[@nersharific813]

Brenius. Gavo.

[@toppersundquist]

This might be the only time Loss has ever been funny.

[@Sakhmeov]

@@nersharific813 Gene Yuss.

[@hansonel]

"Remember, we want to control you." Indeed, a broken egg dropped on the floor could cost the store over $16,000 in profit loss.

[@favoritemustard3542]

That 1¢ will always make it true... & funny.

[@hawkeye7246]

I don't know why, but the word "snitchuation" had me laughing more than it should've.😂

[@briangruenewald7536]

6:46

[@wilberforce95]

That loss joke hit me like a truck

[@micahnewman]

You know it was inevitable in a video about "stop loss"!

[@JigglesMcRibs]

Let us know how the reincarnation works out.

[@Jacorywoohoo]

@Wilberforce95 got hit by a truck, the loss? Human life LOL

[@SilvaWolf.]

5:55

[@theotherther1]

As an ex-Walmart employee, I laughed so hard at this. The struggle is real.

[@Jason0binladen]

Here's to being replaced by self checkout my guy

[@maidenless2765]

Remember, we want to be able to control you

[@RootedHat]

What do you do now?

[@eckitronix]

ex-Walmart, ex-Dollar Tree, needed a laugh

[@MattJay.]

@@Jason0binladenhe was already replaced, hence the “ex” part.

[@LupeCoded]

The "could you come back in half an hour" call back got me crying 🤣🤣🤣

[@Thatoneguy-uc9jq]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who remembered about the original one

[@ryuzakikun96]

An unexpected but most welcome sequel

[@Wotvr]

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

[@SonicBoone56]

Ikr

[@Sakhmeov]

An unequal but most sexted welcome

[@RobPryme]

Yai!

[@TheWorldMemeDatabase]

Next time I go to the grocery store, I'm gonna stand in the vegetable aisle looking deep in thought, and when someone asks me what I'm doing or if I need help, I'll say "sorry, I was rotating the peppers in my mind"

[@DUKE_of_RAMBLE]

It would be a crime against humanity if you do not record and upload it. (mostly so it, too, can be YTP-ified)

[@phosphor_goat]

The "Workin too hard can give you a Cadillaclaclaclac" cat is a beautiful touch.

[@SimonTonekham]

*You ought to know....."(sorry, I got too humourous in singing along)

[@DeeSchnutzinger-Mauph]

So glad to see other people appreciate Billy Joel!!!

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

​@@SimonTonekhamyou otta know!

[@SimonTonekham]

​@@FriskDrinksBriskYou can pay Uncle Sam with some pennies...

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

​@@SimonTonekhamis that money?

[@raidenvakarian9362]

"If you suspect that an employee isn't working, shh!" Words to live by!

[@SilvaWolf.]

1:30

[@arashi86]

"Don't be a snitch" and "Everyone should be able to eat". Real shit right there,

[@artoodiitoo]

Once I saw a man put a box of cookies in his jacket in a supermarket, but I didn´t get into a snitchuation

[@returnoftheredeye]

'Snitchin Impossible'@@artoodiitoo

[@dusklunistheumbreon]

If you see someone shoplifting, no you didn't

[@4orks976]

"bars: if you suspect a customer of shoplifting, do not take action; do not tell your manager for any reason. your manager will take it too far. the key point to remember is: don't become a snitch. any type of snitchuation affects your community negatively. we understand that many people are in financially detrimental types of situations. do them a favor and don't get involved. just let them steal from your store's enormous amount of extra profits; because after all, everyone should be able to eat - and that's common sense. well, take care and stay fresh." 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 man's spitting straight facts 😎

[@brightorangepants]

was not expecting "I was rotating the peppers in my mind" now I am too wOo

[@bachaddict]

woaw

[@ChargeQM]

At least they weren't bananas.

[@whitworth5s248]

"You have a nice package of meat." "Thanks" _looks down_ "You too." That look she makes, it's almost like the original was just begging for that joke to be made.

[@buns9022]

least transphobic grocery store attendant

[@CocoTheMii]

for some reason the 80s synth-heavy elevator music over the slowmo shot of a jar of pickles shattering on the floor absolutely SENT me

[@georgewernerjr9362]

Smooth move, ex-lax!

[@Ryan-zp4qo]

Glad to see Customer Refigeration Week getting a mention. Finally a time to refigerate my "customers" without being questioned by the improperating outsiders.

[@noisepuppet]

You can have your Las Vegas strip. Me, I'm hitting the Vent Honk Rink Strip.

[@abitofabitofabit4404]

I'll be hitting the New York strip (sealed, 2 count)

[@Sakhmeov]

This instructional video still lacks something though; It would be nice if we could look at the consumers' balls.

[@Pikacat98]

Great to see you alive and still kickin' it noisepuppet.: 3

[@Phoeeebs]

Don't get into any eggcidents out there.

[@noisepuppet]

@@Phoeeebs I'll just notify a mammoth and come back in half an hour

[@StevenOBrien]

There are no mistakes, just happy eggcidents.

[@abitofabitofabit4404]

*misteaks

[@Sakhmeov]

- Rob Boss

[@VSigma725]

"Never throw away any product, no matter how damaged it may look" was basically unofficial store policy when I worked at Kmart.

[@COSun25]

To me, that's unacceptable.

[@lucianite0]

I suppose stealing from customers WOULD end your shift. Great advice!

[@hadlii]

One of the funniest interactions I’ve ever seen 💀 “Have a nice day” “No” “Okay”

[@ClownWorldOrder]

he said "may i have a nice day"

[@haileyredrix3102]

as always ellie knocks it out the park especially with the post credit scene

[@tardwranglersinc7666]

communist

[@haileyredrix3102]

@@tardwranglersinc7666 true!

[@stardustpan]

@@tardwranglersinc7666 Heyyy me too :>

[@tardwranglersinc7666]

@@stardustpan Imagine being against freedom

[@stardustpan]

​@@tardwranglersinc7666 Right! Imagine being against the freedom of having like 4 days of the week free and instead working for like 5 days of the week for 8 hours to bring profits to your boss xD

[@TheRealBatabii]

That is the most creative loss edit I've ever seen lol

[@arlopullman4926]

'Broken or damage bibles will most likely be returned by a nun' is the kinda shit I subbed for. Love your work, dude.

[@bigbaby1345]

Petition to make the threequel called 3cc3ntric s3v3r3 tumors

[@FriskDrinksBrisk]

First signature right here. @friskdrinksbrisk

[@TheColorHopeIsBlue]

Second signature here. @TheColorHopeIsBlue

[@jummy0]

eccentric severe threemors

[@cardenassolisrodrigo2601]

Eggcentric Severed 2Mores*

[@SHRUGGiExyz]

Nothing gets my pickle jar dropped on the floor quite like dealing with a _snitchuation_ at work

[@unexpecteditem7919]

Holy shit I knew the Loss joke was coming, and it still got me

[@Ivanhoenn]

I know the mammoth joke is just a Sos joke in disguise, but I always get a big stupid grin when i hear them.

[@Bobogoobo]

Lul! It's the mammoth!

[@MsAlexisPiazza]

A grin with a covert tooth

[@carlostanner5453]

4:12 "Remember, We want to be able to control you" - corporate. 😂

[@WolfysEyes]

Sometimes, you've just got to stop, bathe in the eggcident, and rotate the peppers in your mind. Another masterwork, Ellie. ♥

[@CalebTibster]

6:31 Based as usual, I see.

[@Paraster]

When I started working at a grocery store a couple years back, I couldn't get "Friend and Manager" out of my head whenever I heard someone calling for the front-end manager thanks to the previous EST video.

[@sectinger.]

the YTPs you make are the fucking funniest in existance. i am glad to be alive again.

[@AdeleEevee]

"Smooth moves, ex-lax" has the same energy as "stay fresh, cheese bags" and I love it

[@DUKE_of_RAMBLE]

It was the perfect 80s/90s meta for this video! 😂

[@Yammenkow]

Love the Ariel Needs Legs and Loss references and the important snitchuation PSA at the end.

[@AnomalousMats]

Imagine

[@Tanookicatoon]

I love how it gets unapologetically based at the end. XD

[@Pony-Potential]

Yeah. Where I live, the interest rate hykes are getting pretty bad. I absolutely get this mentality.

[@thatmadengineer_5552]

I don’t say “instant classic” often, but this glorious sequel is most certainly an instant classic. You never cease to amaze, DaThings.

[@matthewziegler5364]

"You dont wanna give the appearance that you are engaged" Good tips for going out on the town 😋

[@Introbulus]

The moral at the end here is honestly correct. You are not allowed to stop a shoplifter because it creates a liability to the store, so the supervisor will write you up for that. But if you tell the supervisor, they will write you up for failing to stop the shoplifting. So the only winning move is not to play.

[@noisepuppet]

Your only hope at that juncture would be if an unfortunate accident befell the store building. Yes, that would be a terrible shame. I see there's a sale on charcoal starter. Aisle 12.

[@holdingpattern245]

Unless there's something really wrong with the managers, they will want you to tell them about the shoplifting, and will not write you up for failing to stop it. In fact they might write you up if you try to stop it, or if you didn't tell them that you witnessed it. Although the situation is different if you are security personnel.

[@Armameteus]

It actually depends on store policy, which is contingent on the brand you work for/country you live in. From my experience, you're specifically trained for how to deal with suspected shop-lifters: 1. Do not directly confront the shop-lifter. This could cause the situation to escalate out of control, such as causing them to become violent or flee. 2. (a) Notify the nearest store manager either directly (if present nearby) or via the store's intercom system, or (b) notify plain-clothes security personnel (if present nearby) - at my store, they were known by name and they all wore a specific pair of branded sunglasses that you can't buy commercially to tip you off if you don't know them. 3. Maintain view of the shop-lifter at all times where possible, but do not approach. 4. If the shop-lifter attempts to interact with you for any reason, treat them normally as you would any other customer. If possible, use the opportunity to encourage them to speak to a manager and offer to call one on the intercom. 5. In the case of known shop-lifters, refer to any photos distributed by management, where applicable. Follow the same protocol as with suspected shop-lifters. I'd love to know what store you worked at that encouraged you to attempt to stop a shop-lifter yourself or you'd get a write-up. Rule 1 was Rule *1* for a reason, since it specifically states not to because they could get violent. Unless you're store security, you're not to engage.

[@tardwranglersinc7666]

It's better that you casually strike up a conversation, get their name, and then call the police after de-escalating. One less problem!

[@popupssuck00]

@@tardwranglersinc7666 actually it's best if you let them steal because massive corporations are not our friends

[@SoZettaSlow]

Incredibly powerful ending, append it to all grocery store training vids

[@Beeks81]

"If you see something, no you didn't."

[@LordFrobozz]

This brings back so many memories - this is from Super Fresh, owned by A&P. I worked as a cashier for A&P from 91 to 97 and had to watch these videos to train. I have SO MANY great stories about the shit we used to pull.

[@redpepper74]

Was it more like dropping pickle jars on the floor or rotating peppers in your mind?

[@jrac-gl3ku]

00:47 The dathings mammoth has returned from extinction!

[@VinylStomp]

"Mammoth" is the underrated brother to "Sus/sos/sauce"

[@tyalan7152]

0:03 And now, a moment with, "Exactly one egg on the floor." This has been, "Exactly one egg on the floor."

[@Rackballington]

"If you see any stray 25lb dogs, ask your man." 0:24

[@risingskyz]

I had a very emotional college move today and this is just what I needed to clear my mind! Thanks DaThings!

[@CocoTheMii]

if you try to seal three steaks you may cause an eggcident

[@TrashHeapCustodian]

I havent heard "Smooth move, Ex Lax" in years, never would have expected to hear it in a YTP ❤

[@Zenlore6499]

You have no idea how happy I am to see this! The first one is one of my favorite YTPs, and this is amazing!

[@lucrativedoor8385]

1:49 Damn that's the real ventor experience

[@ThisisTechie]

As a third-party vendor, I approve this message 😂

[@StBurkeINC]

My preferred intake method of leftist talking points 😍

[@theTeleforce]

I could've sworn the box of Kellogg's Kenmei Rice Bran, seen at 3:55, was a joke made with superimposed text... until the box moved.

[@rosieleaverton]

"May I have a nice day?" "No." "... Okay."

[@FriendlyKat]

Glad to see the Mammoth joke back! 1:33 "If you suspect that any employee isn't working.... Shh! You could cause an accident, possibly cause an incident, possibly cause an egg-cident, possibly causing your store thousands of eggs!"

[@EthanFilms]

a maAAamOTH 🤣🤣🤣 sends me into a fit Everytime.

[@Dimozia]

0:52 Missed the chance for a Frieza joke 😆

[@PxPtheBook]

This may be the only time I get to say this: Mewtwo:Cats::Frieza:Lizards Prove me wrong

[@thatonewolfguy]

5:55 YOU DIDN'T

[@TransistorBased]

I could not believe it the first time I saw it, that's one of the best jokes from any of these videos

[@Jared_Wignall]

“Before we go any further, let’s take a look to see exactly one broken egg on the floor.” Great way to begin the video. Great Poop man, keep up the great work!

[@Koko_Chan]

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, tysm for a sequel Ellie; i am not worthy of this treasure.

[@MisterMalleable]

Smooth move, X Lax at 4:49 killed me!

[@brandonbarrett4584]

"May I have a nice day?" "No." "Okay." Working retail in a nutshell.

[@DevilishMew]

I wasn't prepared for the realness of the post-credits scene

[@PunYT]

Okay, that build up to that Loss joke was nothing short of spectacular. I was sitting here, hearing the word "Loss" a number of times, thinking, "Is DaThings gonna make a Loss joke?" But then, you pulled it off in a way I didn't expect. Bravo.

[@Willpower-74205]

This actually makes a good bit more sense than the actual learning videos that I've watched over the many years I've worked in the grocery/retail industry. Closer to reality, as well! 😁

[@TheInvshika]

That’ll be my new, go-to apology for when I zone out: “I’m sorry, I was rotating the peppers in my mind.“

[@butterbee8193]

"Pricing is something" is probably my favorite line here lmao

[@completelypointlesstv]

The sequel I always wanted, I'm just sad there were no more paper towels

[@orlandowordsmith6208]

Paper taper taper towels

[@GalakStari]

You’re welcome to cry. I’d be happy to offer you a towel.

[@5roundsrapid263]

Nice, a sequel to my favorite YTP, on my birthday! I worked in a store eerily like this, and really relate. I had a co-worker who looked just like 1:19 and he was into guys, too… 😂

[@AdrianHereToHelp]

This is hilarious. Now I kinda wanna see a DaThings Omega Mart YTP

[@user-hf3ot5xb5z]

Well that sure was a snitchuation! (This YTP was so frickin hilarious, DaThings you have knocked it out of the E park once again!)

[@ShadowSearcher31]

I just wanna say, these funny videos got me through a really tough time yesterday. The cat I grew up with passed near me and my sister and these helped me begin to feel a bit better.

[@DUKE_of_RAMBLE]

My condolences. ❤

[@pajamapantsjack5874]

80’s video manuals being made by time travelers so they can perfect ytp material for the future

[@Linda-]

that took an incredibly based turn at the end

[@CrashGordon94]

Based on trendy nonsense, specifically.

[@grac7791]

@@CrashGordon94 You're so right, capitalism IS trendy nonsense!

[@Vossst]

@@CrashGordon94 Definitely agree. If people can't afford food, they should just die. Simple.

[@SHRUGGiExyz]

Sooo true, having to "eat food" to "survive" is just a fad. All the kids will come crawling back to photosynthesis once they see my new Loss Prevention autoturrets

[@Linda-]

yeah having to eat and drink is trendy nonsense, sorry - i will go back into hibernation then@@CrashGordon94

[@BeeJayDeeEff]

This YTP feels like a spiritual sequel to Wow! It’s Made!; it feels nostalgic…

[@MediumHalf]

I kept expecting the pope to show up at the end just like in the Wow! it's Made series

[@3rdJan]

Holy shit the ending is incredibly based of this guy. Would love to see more store supervisors like him :3

[@spongeintheshoe]

Sadly, people like that don’t tend to get promoted.

[@lxmesoda]

​@@spongeintheshoebecause the companies they work at are full of greedy douchebags

[@MyVengenceEndsNow]

AHHHH THAT'S why I got fired...I didn't bag the customers remains with CARE 🤦‍♂️

[@millennialchicken]

i have learned retail and egg knowledge today thx DaThings

[@luvibugi]

oml i love these so much, never stop making them please! 01:18 got me :'D

[@Alex-gb2fx]

The original Eccentric Severe Tumors is one of my favorite videos of yours, very happy to see it getting a sequel :)

[@aaronpetersen3210]

3:08 the greatest return of all time

[@morganmcintosh3464]

Absolutely love the portmanteaus you do. I will do my best not to get involved in any snitchuation

[@pokemaniac333]

5:51 was that an Ariel Needs Legs reference? Amazing

[@Vertexnine]

Oh my God it's happening, this is my favorite franchise

[@NattyWheat]

Omg, a sequel to literally my favorite YTP of the modern era. Truly a blessed day

[@DukeCyrus]

I cannot believe you pulled off a loss joke. That was incredible.

[@shanesims892]

I missed it? Or miss the context

[@carltheshivan]

Thanks for the video, Dathings, and happy Customer Refrigeration Week, everybody!

[@sdesmtl]

*Refigeration*, of course.

[@eeveefan]

As someone who works the scanning department in a grocery store, "as vendors deliver shit" hits hard

[@maxshumylo1921]

"May I have a nice day?" "No" "Ok" 😆

[@abitofabitofabit4404]

Paper Taper Towns did not impress

[@bogwife7942]

"before we go any further, lets take a look to see exactly one broken egg on the floor." not even a minute in and that had me rolling

[@DatKooby]

Lol! It's the mammoth!

[@ScientistCat]

Always happy to see the mammoth make a comeback, even if it's a brief cameo.

[@SuperCaitball]

Idol companies be like: 4:56

[@Laxhoop]

**Reads title “Oh, my grandfather had those.”

[@tjenadonn6158]

"Exactly who the fuck is Steve Jobs?"