Everyone's lying about dice.

[@britesjd]

I am a statistician and i love this.

[@seanmcfadden3712]

My final subject for my Bachelor of Science degree is a statistics subject (Biology major, chemistry minor). My exam is next week.

[@thomaswhite2198]

@@seanmcfadden3712 good luck comrade

[@thecursed01]

HERETIC! DENIER OF THE TRUE NATURE! XD

[@AGrayPhantom]

@@seanmcfadden3712 Wishing you good "luck." 😉

[@lucasq.rodrigues]

@@thecursed01 he is the traitor dice lol

[@Selaranification]

I like that no matter what the correct choice is to buy the dice immediately.

[@ElvenAngel]

Because deep down, we're all dice goblins.

[@JimmyBonez]

@@ElvenAngel The clackety rocks make me happy...

[@TheLangenator]

@@JimmyBonez everyone loves the fancy math gems

[@masterpiece1817]

Hey, I used your profile picture for a graphic design class a year ago. I put it in a bed of leaves, and lefts the white background to create the illusion of winter

[@CriticalDice]

That is the only correct response

[@WrathOfMega]

When he started out with the blorp thing I almost believed this was sincere because it sounded like he could have actually been describing some kind of real manufacturing anomaly. And then he kept talking.

[@gryffehondor4236]

Thing is, "each side has a 5% of showing up" is only true if the dice is perfectly weighted and in pristine shape. Manufacturing flaws and / or wear & tear can load the dice toward certain sides, making the results not-so-random anymore. Personally, I use a dice rolling app' on my smartphone.

[@lowflyingdonut]

@@gryffehondor4236 If the die is not true (and no real die would be perfectly true even when new) then the probability is not 5% exactly for each side. But it's a very different thing to claim that what happened previously will effect future rolls, or that the die is effected by how to talk around it or how you feel or if the check is very important or not or if you've trained it properly. So it's still random in that sense, even if it's no longer true and is doing a garbage job of making all outcomes equally likely.

[@dddmemaybe]

There's the put your dice in a cup of water and salt test. You poke the dice to the bottom and do it like 20 times, imbalanced dice will somewhat obviously float up with a rotation back to the same area on the dice when tried a good number of times. A taller glass of salty water will do better as it has more time to readjust on it's way to the surface.

[@mindlessscientist3772]

Tbh, I feel like the blorp might be real? It totally sounds like something that could happen if it had difficulty rolling. I feel like he used the first real example to draw you in before it gets crazy

[@KittSpiken]

I can't imagine what you mean.

[@baphometsvomitcomet2350]

I like how every single variety of die came with the advice "buy this immediately" Dude knows their audience and is all about enabling their addictions

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

It actually took me a second viewing to catch that he advised buying all of them.

[@Dyneamaeus]

@FluxFlu Ah! But he did, as you can only know if it *IS* a traitor by buying it.

[@evah3136]

I love how all of the solutions end in "Buy the dice". No matter how different D&D players are, we're really just dice goblins at heart...

[@TheCandyManTeam]

I love how the advice for all the different personalities is “buy it”

[@nonomen6665]

I mean, look at which side of the counter he's standing on.

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi,i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@LittleSkullyScrub]

All DnD players have a crippling dice addiction.

[@TaiLysana]

Goblin brain says sparkly math rocks come home with me.

[@bluemaster75]

@@LittleSkullyScrub I know someone who doesn't play dnd but has... an amount of dice.

[@TheRealCeeJai]

Intellectually, I *know* this video is just sarcasm and leaning into the urban legends, but there's such conviction and logic, I still believe it.

[@darkcherry407]

That's exactly how you bullcrap your way through any situation

[@LocalMaple]

That’s because he led off with what types of bounce the dice can have. Which is true! If you know the likely roll based on your throw, that’s a die you can predict.

[@Obstreperous_Octopus]

Sometimes 18 charisma can be stronger than 20 intelligence.

[@weathermangohanssj4]

@@Obstreperous_Octopus but not a 20 wis.

[@DerpLvIAsian]

to be honest, resin dice can have tiny air bubbles in them, which can make them more likely to roll onto certain numbers. although, this likelyhood may for example only change the chance from 5% to like 5.3%, so it would take thousands of dice rolls to reliably find out what the actual chances are.

[@mcblaggart8565]

The prime factor affecting a die roll: The DM saying, "Don't worry, this is an easy check. Just don't roll a 1." If the DM says anything like that; stop the game. Perform an exorcism. Scrub your dice and the table with holy water.

[@alanepithet2931]

'So it's going to attempt to grapple you' is also the sign you need to shelter your dice and start praying.

[@zacharyperlee4179]

and sometimes, even that won't work

[@hefas842]

mine is "if you are proficiant in *insert skill* roll me a dice" or "give me a perception check"

[@abeestosruinsageneration3725]

Totally saying that.

[@soulsearcher9620]

@@hefas842 Roll Insight. That's mine. Any Insight check against a specific npc will always fail, my players never roll higher than 14 against him. We attribute it to the fact that he's a level 20 wizard sorcerer and he's manipulating the dice himself.

[@hiro4344]

I had a set of metal dice that never rolled well for me from day one. So I started asking my group if anyone was interested in buying them off me. No one would and for some reason for whatever I started playing with them again and they consistently rolled insanely high after that. Lesson, start asking people if they want to buy your dice, and the dice will be frightened into rolling well.

[@pigeon5935]

I love how the analysis starts of sounding reasonable and probable then descends into increasing madness.

[@Quantumironturtle]

And the comments are the same. They start with, "Ha ha great troll very funny," but swiftly turn into, "According to statistics and engineering dice personalities are in fact very real and can be determined in advance. Also you can throw them just so to get any number you want."

[@Shield_OW]

me: i dont need more dice goblin me: shiny rock make the click clack sound

[@xientau9028]

Shinies!!

[@godofzombi]

Dragon me: HOARD ALL THE DICE!

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi,i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@AntAnusWater]

You sound like a dice goblin trying to convince everyone in the party that you don’t have a problem during an intervention

[@merry_ryan]

The Charisma saving throw landed on a 16 at least. Probably a pretty good die.

[@artemiswolf4508]

Don’t forget “the comedians”, these dices don’t care about you or probability they will just consistently roll whatever’s funnier in each situation. You’ll get low rolls when trying to kill one kenku armed with a fly swatter and then a nat 20 when trying to seduce that kenku into sparing your life.

[@VaanOtacon]

My personal favorite Dice.

[@Sir_Bucket]

the only dice you need

[@FloydianHate]

"Everyone's lying about dice." Me, a credulous mark: "Neat, he's probably going to talk about injection molding and how the polishing process for pre-painted dice messes with the weight balan---oh."

[@Lol-zw8ks]

My thoughts exactly lmao

[@Terron7979]

I mean, someone (I forget where) did some math on this, and for a d20 to be meaningfully "weighted" it would have to be incredibly heavy and extremely noticeable, and even then, because there's so many sides, it would only really be weighted in one direction. Plus, since any good d20 has alternating numbers (the 20 is next to the 2, which is opposite the 19, which is next to the 1), this still wouldn't guarantee good rolls.

[@Lol-zw8ks]

@@Terron7979 well that’s referring to weighted in terms of giving a guaranteed outcome. When it comes to weighted as in making it heavy enough to reduce the amount of times the dice rolls it’s much different.

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@henriquereisjr6771]

that's it is the truth behind dice personalities.

[@kennethrapp1379]

This is the guy who sells Laura Bailey her dice.

[@robertabugelis3962]

This is exactly who I was picturing!!

[@josgha2917]

@@HighOctane01 If she has a superstition about buying dice from the same shop, then possibly

[@0Fyrebrand0]

I respect your goomba avatar!

[@overhaul2367]

This guy is either insane or an absolute fucking genius

[@YourIQDoesntMeanShitToMe]

Why not both?

[@ytivarg5371]

I had an artificer who had notoriously bad rolls all the time, like always, but I would roll a 20 when it came down to saving my life and only that. Missed almost every attack, failed almost every save, but wouldn't let me die. I call the die I used for him the masochist.

[@exquisitecorpse4917]

Random rolls turn into the story of the game. I had a paladin that NEVER succeeded in a one-on-one dual when I wanted to show off. Without fail, I dropped 1s and lost fights I statistically should have won. But every time I fought a one-on-one dual for serious, story-line stakes, I dropped 20s and took fights I statistically should have lost. Sure, you could invent some "humility" feat that gives you divine penalties for exhibition matches and divine bonuses for fighting for right....but it's a lot funnier when it happens by accident.

[@JulianSoyux]

A traitor die obviously

[@bluemaster75]

Isn't masochism more for self harm? Cause it's hurting you but not letting you die, which would be sadism, if I have my definitions in order.

[@VidelxSpopovich]

This is why I started making characters for whom i would have to roll attacks the least. Casters with a lot of dex save based attacks that do damage even on successful saves.

[@QuarionGalanodel]

Reminds me of a character I played in a 2d6 system a long time ago. I don't remember much except that most of the time he was pretty bad with his handgun but both of the two times I declared that I was going to shoot some thrown weapon out of the air I rolled box cars.

[@jonasp.1830]

"This sounds like astrology for ner..." "Pshhhhh just accept the truth."

[@levikarkiainen331]

Astrology is nonsense, we're talkin about dice, much more reliable realistic and true. So what are you going to trust? Silly stupid star signs or tried-and-true tested dice science?

[@jonasp.1830]

@@levikarkiainen331 Dice Science all the way! :D

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi,i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@hoodiesticks]

Me: "Zodiac signs are all fake, I can't believe people believe this stuff." Also me:

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@malcolmpul4409]

Laura Bailey needs to see this.

[@professorkappa9725]

Literally the first thing that popped in my head

[@JohnKellyDraws]

I imagine she performs all these checks each week

[@CLNCJD94]

Just have everyone send this to her on twitter

[@SCarney1]

No show this to Will Wheaton

[@conorwainwright3793]

I already sent this to her on twitter

[@tba3625]

I like that the advice for every die is "buy it"

[@koatam]

I work in a casino. You sound exactly like the meth users when they talk out which slot machines to play.

[@bigblue344]

He is a mad wizard.

[@jackalope2302]

@@bigblue344 that's what that old hippie panhandler at the corner store says about himself

[@TommZORG]

This is my favorite reply.

[@clownsforclowningaround]

@@bigblue344 some slot machine using meth users may be mad wizards, too

[@ngcastronerd4791]

This analysis is completely ridiculous. How can you expect to select a good die and ignore the moon cycle?

[@Bustermachine]

I like how this is a slow burn. The first few descriptions are actually things that, coming in blind, you might think 'yeah sure, manufacturing errors, no dice is perfectly balanced, etc . . . ' then they get steadily more crazy from there

[@villofarkas9688]

No its not all crazy talk. I own a traitor die and that thing is just pure EVIL.

[@elihenline6089]

I've been a gamer for 40+ years, and have rolled LOTS of dice. Traitor dice are real!

[@ZerFayt]

I am just baffled that some people in the comments are taking this seriously when it is supposed to be light-hearted fun! ... ... ... (They are onto us, hide your prodigy dies!)

[@topogigio7031]

Except Pandemic Posers are so lazy they literally use these videos instead of the actual rulebook

[@DandyGuy]

boys: astrology is bullshit also boys:

[@ImNotSupposedToBeHere2738]

Men*

[@dymphrpeeters8799]

@@ImNotSupposedToBeHere2738 men are just tall boys

[@peika8324]

We believe in RNGses

[@MinnowTF]

Makes more sense than astrology tbh

[@utelvescaro1998]

I love that the conclusion for every die type is to buy it

[@khristian625]

Got it. Buy Blorps for fudging. Buy diamonds in the rough for important saves. Buy fresh dice for training. Buy shy dice but roll their lows out early. Buy Low and Slow for DMing. Buy traitors so they can't hurt you. Buy Super Prodigies because they roll high but only when you believe they roll average. wait That's buying all of them. Sold.

[@imperialfist2304]

It’s like a techpriest speaking about machine spirits

[@thorgodinson3632]

There AREN'T dice spirits? God Emperor protect us! Where have they gone?!

[@godofzombi]

@@thorgodinson3632 Dice spirits are spirits of randomness! OF CHAOS! Beware the random number generators of chaos!

[@joeg5617]

I love how the advice, no matter how the die rolls, is to buy it.

[@weneedaladder8384]

I love how Zee's advice is universally "buy it". It doesn't matter how good it is, all dice create a story.

[@curiouscork6302]

also he works for a dice store.

[@joshmallin5117]

It took me the whole video to realise that he actually advocated buying just about every kind of die, just for different reasons.

[@michaelwinter742]

A coplayer has a die that always rolls low, unless she says “please please please.” Then it rolls a 20. Every. Time.

[@musingartisan]

I would like to add that you should always avoid buying fancy dice. They know they are beautiful, and will always get picked, so they don't try to get a good roll for you. The plain, boring dice however, they know that they have to work to get attention, and so will always roll better for you.

[@Oiami-.-]

But sometimes the fancy dice just have further personality traits. Like the dice that only work for magic, pacifistic moves or pure slaughter.

[@fiaTheFae]

furthermore, handmade dice and/or those from smaller creators might know that their chances of finding a home aren't as big as Company Dice, and might be especially grateful, and eager to please! On the other hand, they might expect that you're aware of such, and expect that you're only giving them attention out of pity, which they resent, and will roll however they damnwell please

[@hefas842]

I have two sets of beautiful eldersign dice that comes in amazing book-looking-boxes and they roll like shit unless i've been bleeding from a cut during that day... never buy dice connected to eldritch gods, they demand a sacrefice and mine choose blood.

[@origami_dream]

Wow, that's pretty misdicinistic. I don't like this idea of comodifying and objectifying dice based on their appearance like they're objects with no agency of their own.

[@johnbaker2910]

I know this is satire. But honestly I have two plain dice that seem to work better for me than my colorful, blended dice. So what are the odds of that sort of being true.

[@haha69funi28]

Reminds me of the guy in my party who says that you need a ton of dice to show the dice that roll low that they're replaceable.

[@mrmars4939]

I love how you told us to buy like literally every single dice you showcased

[@kevinfelton689]

How many carpenters do you know who only own 1 hammer. It's important to have a full tool belt.

[@pyrflie]

The only one of these I can confirm is the Diamond in the Rough. Mine is carrot puke orange complete with chunky flecks (seriously it's so ugly I can't believe someone made it), but I have never rolled anything on it that wasn't 15,16, or 19. We even salt water tested it and it passed. My table knows I'm worried when I pull that one out, hasn't failed a save in 11 years of play.

[@roetemeteor]

It knows. It's sentient. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's probably just to stand at this point.

[@w.watson9521]

"When I said 'Blame the dice.' I didn't mean 'Ascribe agency to the polyhedron.'"

[@patrickblakesley5153]

i have clinical schizophrenia and i cant tell if these are the ramblings of a madman or the commandments of a god

[@meaninglesscommenter8457]

(for those who actually are confused: dice can have bad weightings which can cause them to roll specific numbers more often. but since a bad weighting is usually not on a specific number, but on a part of the dice, it also has a high likelihood of also rolling the numbers around the much rolled number. d20s are almost always laid out in such a way that there are low numbers around high numbers and high numbers around low numbers, which means bad weightings are almost entirely equalised. thus, dice conspiracy has some reality, but not much actual effect)

[@someperson4249]

just gotta love how no matter the personality "Buy it IMMIDIATELY. "

[@AndrewChalk88]

Need shiny click clack rocks.

[@bluemaster75]

Did you see the side of the counter he was on?

[@SgtTeddybear66]

Me: "Oh, He's talking about how some dice are physically off balance because of production and statistically roll differently... ... Oh, Nevermind, This is satire."

[@Schlaym]

Satire? You don't play enough. This is a MAN who finally isn't afraid to say the TRUTH!

[@xxxromant]

i relate so hard xD

[@manoskalozimis674]

All I see is facts.

[@johnphillips5288]

thats the why, he gave the what

[@benderrodriguez6343]

How dare you scorn the sacred texts

[@feliciaamore1105]

I love how the conclusion of every one of these, is to buy the dice. XD

[@nekrosis4431]

Almost like he is the shopkeeper in a game shop...

[@jacobblanton5179]

@@nekrosis4431 "Roll insight on the shopkeeps honesty"

[@4everGemma]

I love that following this advice results in you buying all of the dice regardless of how they roll. As it should.

[@cizeek9748]

zee you forgot about the cheeser, the die that will roll fucking random shit every time, and in its inconsistency lies its consistency

[@roetemeteor]

It could be a one, it could be a 20. Who knows, all you know is it'll never roll what you need, but that makes it interesting.

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@spiddledonk1695]

@@b_a_5_k_i453 shut up dude, don't market yourself in a comment section you prick

[@novacorponline]

Dice do actually have personalities, scientifically speaking. The thing is, dice are not perfect. A tiny little bubble in the middle of the die; no real deliberate fault of the manufacturer usually, can bias the die towards certain rolls. And unfortunately, there usually isn't any way to check if there is a bubble without destroying the die. (unless it is large enough a bubble to affect the die's facing while floating in water) Different personalities are the result of the size of these bubbles, and where they are in relation to the numbers. If you have a die biased towards landing on a 20, you'll frequently see the three numbers directly touching the 20, and you will almost never see a 1 which is typically on the opposite side of the die. Unlike 6 sided dice which have a standardized face layout, different manufacturers sometimes make 20 sided dice with different faces. For example if you look up a 20 sided die, it's accompanying faces are commonly 2, 14, and 8. But you can also find 16, 19, and 13. A die that both has a bias towards 20 *and* has that less common layout would have a phenomenally high performance record, whereas the first layout would appear to be an average roller. With all these factors; many invisible or unnoticeable, it's little wonder people developed a superstition about dice personality. But... Ironically in this case, it's not actually wrong.

[@roetemeteor]

There is a way to ensure that your guys don't have any bubbles. Buy a translucent guy. It's see-through, so you can clearly see if its solid or not. While it is true we won't have any creative patterns, it'll always roll consistently.

[@spiddledonk1695]

@@roetemeteor I'm not going to buy a translucent guy

[@antiday]

@LizzybellGaming they're a pokemon that only listens to their original trainer :'D

[@jackdunne6152]

Every possible d20: you should buy this immediately. ...says the guy behind the counter. I see what you're doing. Also, I'll take this blue one.

[@kyler3035]

oh god

[@redhunter9669]

I am a reasonable person. I understand basic statistics and logic. And I understand that mathematically all these dice have the same chances of rolling any number…HOWEVER THIS PURPLE ONE ROLLS HIGHER AND I REFUSE TO ELABORATE!!

[@christianp.7675]

No need. I can corroborate that purple dice just do better.

[@dymphrpeeters8799]

Correct. Purple dice do do better! And a more deep violet purple works better than magenta as well!

[@Bllue]

I like how the conclusion for each die is to buy it

[@goblingoose]

I love that his conclusion to each type of dice was to buy it anyways.

[@Grelhas_]

I actually watched the first minute of the video thinking this was serious

[@viwox123]

i still thought it is after halfway trought it

[@heathermorzinski3816]

it is

[@Peter-fq2rq]

I love how the necessary response to every die is to buy it immediately

[@duncanurquhart5278]

this video brought to you by the american dice farmer's council

[@entothechesnautknight1762]

I like how the first die was an actual non-superstisious die type that has actual mechanical identity that's actually measurable, and then we delve into insanity.

[@Vooman]

the fact that him saying the median was about 11 and not 10.5 annoyed me was the last bit of proof i needed that i need to get out of the house more

[@peppermintgal4302]

Well, tbf... 10.5 *is* "about 11." :D

[@sosyge4506]

@@peppermintgal4302 Yeah, but DnD rounds down 😔

[@andy4an]

yes! the video was almost perfectly accurate but for that!

[@sinnison23]

I learned only a few years ago that some dice are made in such a way that air bubbles get trapped inside the plastic as they're being molded, making them unbalanced. This is when you start getting dice that roll certain numbers frequently. You can check the balance on your dice by making a solution of water and salt until the die floats. Once it's buoyant enough to float, roll it with your finger. If it's unbalanced it will keep returning to the same numbers. Clear dice are easy to tell, since you can see any bubbles at a glance.

[@wer57lps60]

I learned water and sugar, but exact same concept

[@LithmusEarth]

I have also heard of this, and tried it once, but it didn't quite work out as intended.

[@davidh3332]

I have a d20, this beautiful flat black die with a dead goblin where the 1 is and two crossed swords for the 20. It has never, and I do mean never, rolled below a 15 for a single in-game check. It will consistently roll 7-13 whenever I am just messing around but, again, never below a 15 when it counts. I have rolled this dice at our games probably 1000 times by now. My DM made me perform a test to prove it wasn't a cheat die and when it passed he banned it from ever being used in critical moments anyways after it rolled *4* natural 20s in a row against Strahd. That's a 1 in 160,000 chance, and it was banned because it wasn't the first time it happened. To be fair, the first time it happened was for something completely inane and stupid so it didn't matter, but it's just the super prodigy of all super prodigies.

[@derianvandalsen]

Seems like your DM needs to read up on the Monte Carlo effect

[@CrizzyEyes]

Come back to me when you get three 1s in a row... on a d100

[@kyleserfass4455]

...and then everyone stood up and clapped for me!

[@robertdascoli949]

"The traitor will never give you a good roll except when it's totally useless" Wasting crits on worthless checks hurts more than anything else in the game.

[@webbowser8834]

useless crits are my favorite kind.

[@Dw7freak]

That's my experience with Roll20's digital dice. Got a nat20 on disadvantage on a worthless stealth check, but everything else that night was under 12.

[@Notsoshady4891]

Make sure to let everyone know that wasted crit is a betrayal.

[@b_a_5_k_i453]

Hi,i just started a drawing channel I wouldn't mind your support.😁

[@BenTheoRowe]

It's subtle, but my favourite thing about this video is that no matter what the result, the advice is to buy it

[@JCupgrade]

Yeah it’s the best

[@godofzombi]

@@JCupgrade He is the shopkeeper after all.

[@dd_trotz185]

I love DnD superstitions and the way the community handles it 😂

[@LordTosti]

My favorite thing about this video is that all of his advice boils down to "buy it"

[@SizzleCorndog]

Finally someone bringing out the REAL science behind dice rolling

[@suicaedere7244]

I don't believe in dice personalities, that's silly. I believe in SURFACE personality! I usually try my dice in different surfaces to see in which ones they feel more confortable, and once checked I roll over that place trough the rest of the game.

[@godofzombi]

YES! Me too! And it works. You know it's not the dice, when you tell your buddy to roll his dice on the same spot and his rolls improve.

[@paladia_gorom1973]

My set are blood dice. They only care for maximum carnage. Rolling to hit? Expect high rolls. Rolling a save throw for a fireball? You will fail that roll.

[@itsajose]

So what you're saying is BUY ALL THE DICE. Got it message received.

[@lessonsinfailing]

Lol

[@conorwainwright3793]

Anyone who says dice don't have personalities is only lying to themselves

[@Qri0]

Shhh, don't let the prodigy die hear your babble talk

[@thelastcube.]

they should roll a deception check

[@ElectorCount]

"There are two kinds of Players: The ones who belive in dice magic - and the ones who pretend not to."

[@emptank]

When I said blame the dice I did not mean to literally assign agency to the polyhedron

[@jaimeparker2161]

I have that on a t-shirt

[@Rekishi12]

That's why you need a dice jail

[@jamesskinner4752]

My dm thought I bought rigged dice because all throughout character creation and the first day I kept rolling insanely lucky. He asked to roll them and got a three. When I got them back they went back to 16 and higher. These are my dice and no one else’s. 😆😎

[@rydergolde3169]

reverse-traitor? loyal dice? what's the terminology for this

[@eater_of_garbage_]

I haven't seen many people mentioning it, but my favourite part of the video is how his character is a game store worker, and his suggestion for all of them are to buy the dice

[@Spiderwilliam13]

I feel like I just watched a conspiracy theory video... but for dice. I love it.

[@viruslink6523]

If you couldn’t tell, this video is NOT a joke

[@mrquackadoodlemoo]

Normally i don't deeply believe these things but i made a halfhearted remark about how my fav dice had been rolling super high most of the night but made a dogshit roll when jokingly asked to roll by also jokingly calling it a traitor. Next day rolls around and the last 12 rolls have been below 9 and 2 of them have been nat 1's. I insulted my prodigy and it doesn't like me anymore. I think i fucked up.

[@subzeroab0]

The color of the dice is how my dice roll. Blue rolls high and low. It rolls 1-4 and 17- 20. Nothing else. Red is damage dice. They will roll high on damage done but only damage. They roll normal for skills and abilities. Green dice are middle of the road dice. 8-14 is their rolls. They wont betray you with nat 1s but wont assist you with nat 20s. Yellow dice are skill dice. They roll high on skill checks but low in combat. Purple dice has to be used on magic. If used for a matrial class or attack they will betray you and will kill that character. They wont stop until that character is dead.

[@joshhelmuth6060]

what about orange!!!!

[@AtelDrone44]

D&D players-"D&D is just a game to have fun with and assuming it is a cult or that we practice dark rituals is ridiculous and makes you look stupid, " Also D&D players-

[@godofzombi]

Y'all need RNGesus.

[@robertsides3626]

Once the music crept in I knew I was about to hear the ramblings of an insane person.

[@DaveButtons]

I see you’ve travelled this road before 😏

[@SageofStars]

Two questions. 1) What have you been smoking? 2) Can I have some?

[@TheLoramir]

Truth and experience, that’s what

[@HarryPotter-uv8yp]

Had to check my dice after I rolled 3 Natural 1’s in a row. Set it down in salt water, floated it, and observed how it would do. Turned out that YES. It WAS weighted to roll 1’s.

[@TaurusTheCrazyBull]

Seems like those Natural 1's weren't so Natural

[@felixjohnson3874]

Who even does that. What sick fuck of a product manager would intentionally go out of their way to just light a match to people's happiness like that?!

[@byggepladen]

We had a traitor dice college that would roll unstatisticallly often against you, we even used it to get the first years drunk, they just had call high or low and the dice would do the oppisit. In the end we burried it in the forest like it was jumangi

[@chriscunningham6401]

The best part was, no matter what kind of die it was, the advice was to buy it haha

[@demonicbunny3po]

Well, we are dice goblins.

[@dylanehooverlibrarian7026]

Well done! You have truly passed the Dungeon Master's test!

[@Styxer1008]

I'll just stick with buying the ones that taste the best, thanks.

[@sosyge4506]

Ah. A man of action?

[@cheeselord3655]

@@sosyge4506 a man of culture.

[@roetemeteor]

Remember, if a dice tastes like strawberries, it's a keeper.

[@tino258852258852]

-The more dice you roll, the closest to the avarage result it will be- *The more dice you buy, the more traitors you have in your bag*

[@cannedcream]

I would call these the ravings of a madman if I didn't know them to be true.

[@theglem4]

It took me a minute to get that this was a joke, especially because the blorp sounds like it could really be a thing.

[@jackalope2302]

I know right

[@cheshirethehatter3213]

Bruh, I'll just buy the shiniest math rocks, because my kobold brain demands it.

[@tanall5959]

'Shiny' is the only acceptable reason to buy anything that isn't food. And sometimes applies to that which is food.

[@milab2055]

The fact that you call them math rocks is amazing. I have to call them that now too

[@emerybrown6145]

@@milab2055 "math rocks" sounds like a drug... its perfect

[@krazykid724]

So, all of my dice are traitors. My average on the d20 is a 6, and last session, I rolled 10 nat 1's and 2 numbers above 10

[@cassandra2860]

Roll it underwater. If you get the same number nine times out of ten, good job! You got a loaded die.

[@joshualee2458]

It's true, all dice are actually mimics. Nobody truly manufactures a die, they are bred on highly unethical dice farms.

[@jackalope2302]

That's it, I'm gonna grow some organic dice with only natural fertilizer right next to that oregano in that flowerpot

[@godofzombi]

+5 like.

[@Luigi1010]

we have a traitor, I won it in a competition. After my character got capture, tortured and thrown in jail as a result of Five 1s in a row my group each took turns rolling the dice. Everyone rolled the dice 3 times and all at least got a 1 once, but no one rolled higher than a 7. As a result my DM at the time made a box to hold the dice with curse marks all over the box and the curse dice was born. From that point on whenever one of us rolled a 1 we had to use the curse dice for a few rolls. Everyone in my group is afraid of that dice.

[@singletona082]

Ok that is a tually a fun way to use the traitor dice. Bring it out after crit failure. And them yu have to use it for a time.

[@BIGhappyG33]

He really is the guy behind the counter. Almost every type of die results in “buy it immediately” XD

[@kingzecromatic]

I love how the answer to everything is just to buy it.

[@jevanking4768]

Pretty dice know they’ll get picked Ugly dice earn their place

[@patrickdees5256]

Which separates the Chad dice from the virgin dice.

[@antiday]

Just like real people, in real life!

[@NerdAlert42]

I bought a set for a friend and they hate my guts 😭 He was dm and uh- I literally took 50% of crits for the entire campaign It got to the point where if something was targeting me, he'd roll them in the open to prove he wasn't messing with us There were a lot of tears, some from laughter, some from stress, and some out of sympathy 😔 There was a LOT of screaming that campaign

[@GigachadVTuberEnjoyer]

wtf, I keep getting results all over the place during my test roles. it's like I'm getting completely random results?!

[@nibbleslerry6722]

Then you have a wild card it lives by no ideals

[@Jay-pj5tg]

Chaotic neutral

[@JKStudios25678283]

"The only way to take care of a traitor, is to lock it in a box somewhere in your attic" Why does that sound like some mob boss stuff

[@animekittycat95]

I’m just so impressed by the animation expressions

[@mt_freeze9369]

the traitor dice are a real pain: in 4 sesons the only time I rolled a Nat20 was on an intimidation check when I told a party member to”STOP...BEING..RAT!”

[@tyrannosaur219]

Do I honestly believe this? No. Am I still going to do this stuff because it’s fun? Hell yes!

[@MrMindCloud]

It’s all fun and satirical until you realize it’s completely true

[@Jay-rb5pg]

As a DM this shit is why we always have that one player that complains about their rolls and it infuriates me. Just buy fancy metal dice because everyone knows the rolls are proportionatly related to how much you spend on the dice, expensive dice just roll better.

[@wraithreaper22]

Tell that to my friend who rolls shit consistently with metal dice

[@markselorio5837]

Diamond dealer: Need something for the Mrs? Me: :|

[@river7874]

You sound like a shit DM if that infuriates you.

[@mal2ksc]

Technically true -- heavier (usually metal) dice are more likely to actually _roll_ when they hit a surface rather than slide or bounce, unless that surface is too hard. A mouse pad is a good level of bounciness, if you don't want to carry an actual dice rolling tray around.

[@unknownyoutuber2007]

I HAVE MAJOR INSIGHT HERE --- PLEASE READ *contains minor edits and corrections :)* I work in the plastics industry. Allow me to explain to you why the 5% roll is a myth! Die are made through a process known as plastic injection*. What this means is an aluminum mold pair (in this case, two female molds) are locked together and a filament rod is heated up and pushed into a cavity-well. The filament is the color and type of plastic you're die will become. - *you may hear another term, injection molding. These are one-in-the-same. The industry that works with shaping plastic is known as Thermoforming, where I've been for 9 years. There are many ways to form plastic, but the biggest are sheet-forming, plastic injection (injection molding) and blow molding (how water bottles are made). The filament (rod of plastic, like a 3D printer) is not molten, but it is heated enough such that it is malleable, like toothpaste. In order to process the speed of creation (parts per hour), the mold is rapidly cooled and the die are released. Several, maybe 20+, are made at a time and interconnected through a webbing, not unlike model airplane sets and Warhammer 40k sets. That's also plastic injection, by the way. Due to the process mandating speed, the die are unable to cool evenly. As one section cools faster than another, the plastic internally heats up and pulls aside*, causing a cavity to form. These "air pockets" change the density of the die, off-setting it, and thus weighting it. The location of the void corresponds to the opposite side of your die that has a "favorable" face. For example, if you keep rolling a 4, you have a void just beneath it and on the opposite side of the die, it's heavier, pulling downward during the roll. - *Lets discuss what I mean by "pulls aside". What happens is this: The outer surface of the die is in contact with the aluminum mold, which is being rapidly cooled off. This means that the outside of the die is the first part to cool and harden, with the inside still soft and hot. Gravity will cause the hotter plastic to sink, and this sinking causes the voids mentioned above. Now there are FOUR types of die in total. - Solid matte (just discussed) - Marbled (two plastics or one plastic with dyes added to give a waving / painted pattern) - Speckled (multiple plastics added) - Clear / _Translucent_ Marbled and Matte are the same in terms of void creation and cooling. Functionally, they are identical. Speckled are the WORST to buy. Those specks and clumps you see on the outside? Yeah, they exist on the inside, too. This process happens when multiple polymers are added, each with different densities and heating requirements. None are fully heated, such that they remain separated. These will be weighted, absolutely. Clear are THE BEST to roll because in order to ensure quality, they are heated up hotter than matte and are cooled for longer, so that "noticeable" voids do not occur. This means the clear die have most "fair" rolls, because they are not accidentally weighted to any one side. Basically, clear / translucent die are always the most "fair".

[@loganreads90]

No way.

[@rosemarykitten7686]

You, my friend, are the best. Thank you.

[@valerielusa8000]

opaque is the opposite of clear? did you mean something else?

[@cork1576]

This all sounds like pseudo-science. You didn't once address dice personality. Please watch the video again and stick to the facts.

[@thewingedporpoise]

This is a really cool thing to know

[@ratking1330]

I had a player once that sanded down the edges around all numbers that weren't above 15 and when I found out I honestly was just impressed. It was really hard to tell because it was just an unpainted d20 so you can't really make out the features well, it would roll then make a hard stop on a good number. And thats why he isn't allowed to use his own dice anymore

[@xselinisx]

Oh, interesting.*adds note to file dice edges down*

[@SmilesEdgeworth]

Damn that's hilarious, reminds me when people were caught cheating in card tournaments for slightly shaving off the edges of cards in their deck so when they were shuffled, they could sneakily out all their good cards on the top of their decks.

[@cristiaolson7327]

You forgot to mention the importance of dice storage. Especially good dice need to be stabled in velour lined boxes or individual dice-set fabric bags, not stored with the riffraff dice in a big sack where they might learn bad habits.