I don't know why but this playlist makes me want to cry my eyes out and laugh my lungs out at the same time

Don’t recommend channel, not interested 🖕🤞🤨❤️🩷😂💚💏👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🚽🚾🥥🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇻🇮🇮🇴🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🇨🇦🇸🇿🇫🇯🇧🇹🇻🇬🇧🇲🇱🇰🇵🇲🇵🇭🇰🇵🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🇮🇳🇨🇮🇧🇿🇨🇭🇸🇦🇹🇰🇹🇼

I exist? Then why you ignored me mom?… Why you ignored me friend?… Why you ignored me dad?… Why you ignored me cousin Im invisible? Why you touched me? Why you punched me? Why I can’t do anything? Why I’m always get yelled when I hate to be yelled?… You hate me? Im invisible?… I think I don’t exist… I…. I think I’m overthinking… LET ME REST :(…

lost in the blankets... hold my hand so we dont lose each other ever again and we can find a way out together

"What's the kindest way to say you took away my friend" not in a way that someone died, but someone who i was year long online friends with slowly growing distant from me cuz other people he knows

I like cute things and horror but this is the perfect mix

i don't care if i was happy while you were here. losing you hurt me more than anything else could on this earth.

In case no ones said it to you lately You deserved better, im sorry

When the trigger goes off and you're back to 2018 Christmas morning with your family in the living room.

when i was nine i got called a groomer. i didnt even say a single weird thing. if anything the other person kinda did because they asked for my home adress. It was terrible. it made me worse then i was. after a month or two after that i had things planned on what to do before i killed myself. but then after i reached out to them they responded. just that simple thing helped me.

A POEM, MADE FOR ALL THE BROKEN HEARTS THAT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PICK UP THE BROKEN PIECES OFF THE FLOOR, FOR ALL THE CHILDREN OUT THERE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THINGS I KNOW WE ALL WENT THROUGH, FOR THE PEOPLE CRYING, SCREAMING, HURTING, FOR MYSELF, FOR EVERYTHING I WENT THROUGH, for us. Oh mother, How I see you in me. Same Almond Eyes, Same Diamond Face Same fears. Same struggles. Both of us. Against the world, we'd say. Absolute replicas, people'd say I agree. We both learned to lie, to fall under a mask Bottling up until the soda can exploded. Oh Father, How do you look at me? How do you look at the same girl you would hurt, and smile? How do you hug her, kiss her, tell her she'll do great? When last night, you'd dragged her by her hair, kicking her into the garage, and locked the door? Oh how'd you not crumble, When you saw little me, crying, begging. How do you not pity me, When I flinched at the slight upturn of your voice? Oh teachers, How did you never see me struggling? Bright girl, you'd say. The A+ scatter my desks. People say to be proud. What is there to be proud of, When all I see is failure. You'd never noticed, when I'd cry in the bathroom? You'd never notice the scars trailing my legs in the locker rooms? You'd never notice my flinches, my panic attacks, my wanting to end it all. Oh reader, You read all of this Bittersweet feeling bubbling in your chest as you feel the memories broiling You wish for something You wish that'd you'd have that normal, amazing childhood. You watch those fathers with their little kids, playing baseball together You watch those mothers with their little kids, playing dress up You watch, always observing Never feeling enough We'd all cry Screaming, begging for something, something to dull the pain. something to take you away. When I look back, I wonder Mother, why'd you never step in? You saw what was happening. How did you never cry, hearing the little child I was, cry and scream. I love you. And I know you loved me too. I just know you loved him more. Father, I know about your childhood. I know you are as traumatized as I am. But why did you never decide to be the one who broke the cycle? Why did you do, all the unspeakable things, you did to me? And I'd listen. Listen to the excuses. Listen to the apologies. I never vented, no. For what is the good of being a good listener, if no one listens to me?

I love this playlist, it’s so well put together, please make another

I LOVE SIGUR ROS

The cloud castle is angel mickey and oswald's home 🥲

"YOU DO NOTHING FOR THIS FAMILY OH MY GOD?!??!" just a words.

“It’s just a girl harmonizing with a fan.” No. It’s me and my older cousin sitting in her basement crying together over the death of my best friend. Someone she never knew, and someone she would never get to meet.

Nighty nighty everyone!

i wish i didnt push everyone away when i clearly needed them

The quote “I’m trying to forget u but I’m also waiting for you to come back” it reminds me of when I try to forget someone from middle school but I can’t forget him

Sometimes, I wish I could go back. Only remembering the happy thing's and ignoring everything else that went so wrong. I may be happy at where I am now, but I feel as I am still stuck. Sitting on my bed when I was a kid hoping my father and mother would stop throwing things at each other, wishing the screaming, yelling, the redness on the wall to just stop, disappear almost. I think at night wondering what went so wrong. 'Stop pretending you don't know what went wrong.' I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things, I do know what went wrong, I know it all too well, but why do I have to stay in that house? On the same bed, staring at the wall spatted in blood. I don't want to think about that, I don't like that day, I don't like that house, I don't like my father, or his smile and I don't like how I used to look up at him and think, 'Wow, He's just like the hero's in the books!' He wasn't. I don't think he ever was. I hate thinking about the old house. But I love talking about it at the same time! When I would play tag with my siblings and cry if I got tagged and didn't want to play anymore, or when we catch our first eel at our lake. But once I think about the good things, I think about everything else. Thing's that haunt me. I was a child. I didn't deserve that. I needed my mother and father. Why was my sister the one holding me well I was crying wondering why there is red paint on the wall, why was my mother passed out on the floor, where was my father? Why?... I was too young to understand anything, too young to understand why my father would bring me into his room and touch me. Why do I have comfort of having hot showers that burn my skin? Why did it have to happen to me?... Did I do something wrong? Was he mad? Or... Was he just a bad person. Thinking about it now makes me sick, even a couple tears out of my eyes. The Human mind is such a beautiful thing. But why can something so beautiful have such unpleasant memories? ( GIDDY GOSH, I just needed to write somethings that usually don't come out of my mouth so I like to just write it instead :3 )

I've never told anyone these parts of me before but I figured hey why not in this random comment section I came across. This is REALLY long, I'm very sorry about that. TLDR; Might have been SA'd as a kid, idk. Mom hit me, dad hit me, done some hitting myself which makes me feel guilty but I feel I have improved, parents being bigoted, I'm also autistic and experiencing a burnout. I struggle to even place what happened as SA because we were both kids, he's even 2 months younger than me. I can't even remember what age I was when it happened. I keep telling myself that it was just childish curiosity, that it was just two kids exploring, that kids just do that, but I never wanted it, he locked the door and told me if I didn't that he'd frame me if I didn't let him do what he wanted. I didn't want to but I still agreed and let him. I didn't scream, I didn't start swinging, I didn't even make a peep. I knew that even if I tried to deny that his claims were true with proof on top of proof, that my parents would blame me, make me out to be the monster they always wanted me to be, to be that bad unruly kid they can't control, so I agreed. I remember the clothes I wore when it happened and I remember never wearing those same clothes again but I kept saying it was just cus they weren't comfortable or that they were itchy or something or other just so I wouldn't have to wear them. I still remember and feel the pangs of hurt more clearly at what my parents did than whatever this was but maybe that's because what my parents did is more recent. I don't know if this means I've moved on or if I'm just burying it still because it's not worth the words it would take to finally tell someone. My mom recently said she was scared of me and my dad agreed saying I look scary when I'm angry, as if to make out that I'm violent when arguing with them when the last time I may have landed a slap on my mom was probably when I was 4 years old and throwing a tantrum, still isn't a good excuse for that behaviour but since then I have never landed a hand on either of my parents. Last time I tried to hurt someone was probably my younger brother, when I was about 10 maybe younger. To know I slapped my little brother like that with intent to hurt, it's shitty. I've grown to see how disgusting it is and in response to that, I don't hit anyone anymore, it was a behaviour I didn't want to pick up but I did and I harmed my little brother with it but I'm also confident that I have made amends with him for it and improved on myself and today we are really close. I want to make excuses for myself but I know I don't deserve them but feel like I need them to still have my own hurt recognised. I try telling myself there is no such thing as a perfect victim but even that assumes I'm a victim of something I didn't deserve when I'm starting to believe I deserved all of what has happened to me. Unlike what I mostly see online, it was mostly my mom who hit me, my dad did occasionally slap my face but he was also mostly working. In some ways I want to excuse my moms behaviour because she had bad parents too, her mom used her as free labour and from what I've heard, she might have been SA'd when she was younger too. But the way she pinned me and hit me, the way she came for my throat with the intent to strangle me but stopped when she say there was someone to witness it, the way she told me that no one will come help me no matter how loudly I scream, the way she told my dad to stop crying when I came to them for help when I sh, saying that I did it for attention, the way she would back me into corners and intimidate me and berate me. I want explanations and I want accountability which she routinely denies. I feel guilty for not being able to move on. My parents are also painfully closed minded. I'm a trans man and after being out for 3 years now, my dad still deadnames me and hasn't changed my name in his contacts and still talks to others as if I'm a girl while I stand there with quite pitiful facial hair to be fair but still recognisably a man to anyone who sees me. When I came out, my mom the next day picked apart the way I said I'm trans. I remember her berating me in the car, telling me I said I "might" be trans so that must mean I "might" also not be trans. She did more research on detransitioning than anything else and started telling me not to do anything, not to take hormones, not to talk to doctors, not to change anything. I was also recently diagnosed with autism, I'm terrified that my parents will use it against me, something along the lines about how I'm too autistic to actually know what's right or wrong or that I'm delusional because I'm autistic and I actually am insane and live in a different reality, a reality that doesn't exist. After my experience with burnout and being diagnosed with autism, I'm completely lost as to whether or not I'm disabled. I feel abled, I used to be able to work, I have previously worked (at serious expense to myself but nonetheless, I have worked). I tried explaining this to my parents and my mom who is an sna, who thinks that taking care of autistic children for work means that she is an expert in autism now even though she doesn't even know any of the diagnostic criteria for it, said that "people who get diagnosed with autism don't just lie down and take it and do nothing with their lives" trying to basically say that I've given up on trying as hard as I have to and the fact that I'm autistic gives me no leeway and I'm still expected to meet those standards that I just feel I can never meet again. In my country, only 32% of autistic adults are actually employed in any type of work with only 16% working full time. It's hard not to feel doomed with those stats. My parents keep acting as if I somehow can do something that sets me apart from the rest of the stats, that I'm not like all those other autistic people somehow, that I'm an autistic person that can function well enough to them so what excuse do I really have.

Idk bout y'all, but the first song sounds like little pikmin to me "Meep murp!" Ahh song 🐙 Anyways, wish y'all best in the present, and future. Stay safe!!! ❤

I've never been physically hurt by my family. But I've been emotionally hurt more times than I can remember. They would say mean things to me just to say that it was my fault that they were the way they were. My parents say they love me, but they're just words that make me cry when I'm alone. They never can fully accept the fact I don't give a single fuck about what they believe in. I was 13 when I learned I was autistic and immediately, I hated myself for it. I still do some days. Why didn't they ever tell me? I can never figure that out. All I ever wanted was to be accepted for who I am. They never believe me when I say I need therapy. All they do is just sweep it under the rug. Fuck, I want to leave them but I don't have anywhere to go. Half my family is scattered across the country, and I don't even like some of them. I'll find a way to get free someday, just not today. If I ever have kids, I promise that I will never become like my family. I will know where to draw the line, but I will love them, flaws and all. I will be firm when the time calls for it, but I will understand why they're this way. I will need them to listen to me about the messed up shit, but I will let them be able to make the right choice. I can't always be there to keep them safe, but I will know they can protect themselves when they have to. Sorry about my little rant, but I needed somewhere I can speak without messing up with my stutter and mumble. But I intend to keep that promise.

why why why why why why why why why why why why why whyw hyw hw why why??? why????

My mama is a proud woman. Her pride is only thing she will have left. After the years of searing hot anger burning words of depression on our skin or throwing me at a metal couch... I remember how my back felt when it hit the frame. she pleaded and apologized trying to fix what she had done. Her words will fall empty into no ones ears once it's over. I remember the long days with no food. Long nights of anxiety. Her sins will crawl out of her body and set her ablaze but I'm more than happy to watch her cry when she sided with my rapist. I was robbed of my younger years form a mother who in her own words should have never been one. Maybe one day forgiveness will find it's way.... Not today.

Im so lost. Im only 13 and my step-dad keeps SA-ing me. I dont even know what to do about since he's supposedly a "Christian". My entire household is, but its like he's just using it as an excuse. Ive told him i didnt like the way he keeps touching me, but he keeps saying its because he "Loves me." I dont say anything to anybody else because if i did, it would absolutley destroy the entire family. He still acts all happy and caring. He still buys us stuff, but nobody sees what i have go go through with him. I have to put up with him because i dont want to see my mother go through another divorce. Its been a year since he started doing this. I cant keep going on like this.

I thought it was normal. I thought everyone's parents smoked and hated each other. I thought everyone's parents yelled at each other when they were five and it was the middle of the night and they were crying and they needed comfort. I thought everyone's dads forced them to do homework and ignored them crying. I thought everyone cried themselves to sleep at 6. I thought everyone's grandmothers were insane manipulative narcissists who hated being wrong. I THOUGHT BEING YELLED AT WAS NORMAL. I THOUGHT BEING SCARED TO SHOW ANY EMOTION WAS "NORMAL". I THOUGHT ANY SHIT I WENT THROUGH WAS "NORMAL".

oh no your not pure anymore but im only 10 no you arent wake up. wake up. its been years. she still hasnt gotten better. she still yells. oh no. why cant i be innocent?

Waring:mentions of sh I've been clean for nearly 1 year im proud of myself.

my dad would sexually harass my sister. i wasn’t aware of it until she told me one day. suddenly everything made so much sense. i dreaded talking to my dad. i’d feel fear. the day she told me about the stuff he would do to her, was the day that i realized that the things that he would tell me were not okay. we share the same mom but not dad. when she looks at me, does she see him? when she sees my eyes and dark hair, does she see him? when she hears my laugh, does she hear him? does she desperately try to love me, yet always see him in the back of her mind? i’ve always been treated differently by her. all the rage i used to feel towards her, i feel it about me now. i am a constant reminder of her pain. i cannot blame her. my mom only had me because my sister begged her. does she regret it? i see the way it affects her. i feel as if i am the child of a monster. if i am the child of someone who shouldn’t exist, does that mean that i shouldn’t either? we both told our mom about his behavior. she said that it never happened. i feel as if i don’t know who i am. i don’t want my sister to look at me. i don’t want her to see all the resemblances between me and him. i am disgusting.

“I was so young” I am a person who was sexually abused as a child by a family member and I was sexually harassed multiple times in high school, when I was in elementary school I was bullied and abandoned, I am currently dealing with my self-harm, I am sorry if my English is not very good, I am from Mexico and I speak Spanish, I am sorry, I just wanted to vent a little, because I have not done so in years.

"I was so young" literally i was so but so young when my uncles started to abuse me sexuality. I was 5 years old and they stopped when i had 10 lit 5 years of sexual abuse from my familiars im just asking why tehy needed to do that... Bro i was just a child, that thing make me so... It hurt me but i try to ignore it... I just cant forget that momment of suffer when they...

I'm so young, why am i doing this?

When I was five years old my parents would fight one time my mom was in a argument with my dad I was right next to her then she pulled out a knife(she didn't hurt anyone with it at all btw) I ran upstairs and cry'd in my parents bedroom.she tricked me into thinking my dad was a bad person(they were both bad) then one day my dad got an restraining order against her and the cops took her she's still alive I just don't know were she is it's a giant world she has a Facebook account victimizing herself when she was in the wrong we all tried to help her but she would not text us if she here's anything about rehab I haven't seen her in six years im turing eleven in march I can't even remember what she looks like I miss her but I'm happy she left she was tearing my family apart and my dad couldn't bear it anymore...

all this sexual abuse is making me uncomfortable so i dont really wanna watch anymore

I want to be a little girl again, before everything, before those strange fairy tale monsters came and took away my innocence. I want to feel good about my body again but it's already broken, too broken to be repaired. But I can't, I'm trapped in those memories, where everything stopped being innocent, where everything became scary, where I didn't feel safe even in my own home Where everything became sexual, disgustingly sexual, hated how I work now, how my mind works On my small shoulders, too fragile for such a large and heavy burden as that trauma, it is killing me, it is crushing me. I want to go back to Neverland and stay there, Eternally innocent

Yes, I was too young for that, it was just going to be a time between two family members and a friend, what could go wrong... Everything went horribly. 0 It's painful to see how the people who were supposed to protect you not only failed you, but they were also the ones who hurt you, And apparently now, even though they are with you, they have a clear conscience, with no remorse in their mind for what they did. I knew the carnal and the disgusting before the gentle, sweet and good love that is so much written about I just want to stay in my bed, alone and quiet, without bad men wanting me for my body, Without fear, just me, my blankets and stuffed animals

the fact that i was talking to one of my friends about our family friends who were our age and i mentioned he had a crush on me as a kid and she was like “at least YOU weren’t locked in a room with him for an hour i thought he was gonna 🍇 me” and all i could think about was what my family friend did to me less than a month before, people this is a reminder! don’t say things like “at least you didn’t…” because they might have and just because you have trauma even if it’s worse it doesn’t matter because it’s not battle of who’s was worse if they open up to you about it never say that! you don’t always know what people are going through so please be understanding of everything

the worst part about being trans is slowly loosing your memories

you were supposed to be my boyfriend, you promised to love me, you promised to take care of me, you promised that no one else would ever touch me again....

I was groomed and non of my friend group saw nothing wrong with it.. :(

18:11- "Im trying to forget you, but i'm also waiting for you to come back" My grandma died this pass year and my other realitives are dying as well, I didnt have that super strong bond with any of my grandmas like living with them or anything but I still talked with one of my grandmas often on marco polo (app) and she once said that i was really the only one that would litsen to her or let her talk and somtimes this day shes somewhere out there in colerado struggling with some sort of bad cancer and somtimes i like to go back and re watch the videos she sent me. Let her be in your prayers she really matters to me.🙏💓

Tw here, SA and emotional abuse mentions. Sorry for the vent, lol . . . . I was severly SA'd by my best friend two years ago. On my birthday. I trusted him so much, and I loved him SO MUCH to the point of me willing to stay friends with him after he had cheated on me, and left me for some other guy. His excuse was that he was bisexual, and that I need to learn he can love someone other than me. After coming out about what he did to me that night to my friend group, it was the last time I would see them treat me and my sister like human beings. We were harrased and ailienated up until late 2023. They planned to unalive me and to drive me into insanity. Why? Well, I never knew. I think it was because they so badly wanted to belive that he was inocent, and that I was lying about being rp3d. Hell, the only reason I told anyone was to stop from more victims from being created. It didn't work. None of it did. Im sorry B, K, and G. I couldn't save you. And all my parents cared about was if I was purposfullly not taking my meds. It was an excuse for them to tell me I was overreacting to things. They still do it to this day. I hate how everyone else got an amazing childhood in my friend group. Instead, I was SA'd over and over again, harrassed, bullied, had terrible, emotionally abusive parents, ect. Why am I rethinking things again? I was sexually harrassed yesterday in class. I was flashed and showed NSFW shit on their phones in algebra. I hate those boys. I hate how this is who I am now. I miss my friends. I miss who I was. I miss my childhood wonder.

"everything was okay, everything was going fine. why couldnt you just stay?" that hit so hard considering my past...

I haven't been SA'd, but my mom has abused me a lot emotionally. My skin still feels like it crawls though and I want to scratch it off because when I came out to her as bisexual she would not stop touching my arms or making me sit in her lap. She said that being queer was worse than taking drugs and asked me if I was attracted to her. The past month, I stopped taking one of my meds on accident and started having anxiety attacks every day about her and/or school and fell into a depressive mess that I haven't been in years. I'm AFAB and after that, my mom insisted on helping me when I need new bras. I hate feeling awful when she looks at me. She's not trying to hurt me on purpose when she looks at me. But she also calls me fat. My personality ugly.

i couldn't help you im sorry i know its not my fault. it still feels like it is you're doing better now but im not and shes not please come back please.

I for no reason started sobbing when the “every dog has its day” was on

I was innocent until I watched p*rn and got abused by my dad and got bullied, saw the real world. I used to love the smell of play do and crayons, I put macaroni and cheese on my fork, I was silly, I recorded my dancing and singing, I was sweet, pure, kind, but I’m scared to make friends again, I’m attached to boys my age but scared of men. I have weird perverted thoughts I Cant get rid of, I was pure and beautiful but now I’m dirty and ugly. I wanna relate to others, while being myself, and help others. Some part of me is still beautiful on the inside with my compassionate empathetic heart, but my mind is not so clean. I feel crazy, I am disgusted by what I see in the mirror everyday. I don’t feel like Gods child so I left him forever, he loves me and I’m bad to him. I Cant repent the right way because I only feel bad for what I did, but did not stop sinning. So I love the sin, not God. Help me.

i wish i could revert time. I wish i was asleep instead of staying awake. I wish I could just skip that part of my life and continue as if nothing happened. I wish there was a void that could have sucked me in. I wish nothing bad happened. But it happened. I'm sitting here, writing this comment, remembering everything that happened at that day. When I was 5. It still haunts me to this day, the day I was exposed to everything, that day I couldn't stop thinking about it. It felt like someone snatched the part of my brain consisting of innocence, the part of the brain that i lack of now. My friends think i am weird, but i never told them anything. Everyone is oblivious of what my brain is made up of. It may be a weird or a subject that doesn't matter, but after I saw a video of it that was playing on the tv by accident at 2AM, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I felt dirty, disgusting and terrible for thinking about it. But now, I can't stop. It's like something in my mind still tells me it is ok, but it's trying so hard with no result. I just want to feel normal again, like I never knew, I just want to feel like a careless child again, but it's too late. I guess I grew up too fast. (i wanted to share my thoughts and my feelings on this certain subject, rn i'm trying not to cry but knowing that people also deal with something like this led me to share this, just to tell people they're not alone).

i try to tell myself it wasn’t that bad but it doesn’t work. i just don’t know how to actually accept it, i don’t want to be a victim.