RIVETING! Get after it dude. Inspiring to see. Happy birthday!

Hi Ben! I also have a hard time with birthdays. I don't like all the attention you receive, the idea that today is supposed to be "all about you," and I often end up having a mini existential crisis when I think about my age. That said, something that helps me is instead of thinking of birthdays as celebrating myself, I like to think of them as a celebration of another year of things to be grateful for. I got a whole 365 days of experiences, good, bad, terrible, amazing, I got to spend time with my favourite people, and I was able to do the things I love. I stayed alive long enough to be able to listen to Hozier's new music, I had a great hair day yesterday, I get to see the people I love be happy! It's always the small things that are worth celebrating and that make life worth living. :)

Hey, first of all Happy Birthday! i hope you had an excellent time during that. Secondly i think what you are doing is great and you should keep doing it. I stumbled upon your channel in my recommendations and i really liked it. Hopefully i will be watching any future videos that you make and overall have a good time

Benjamin! Happy belated birthday!!!!! 🎂 I just finished reading your comment on my comment on your last video. I appreciate you, as always. I'm not trying to feed your ego, but since it's your birthday, I just gotta say... from what I have seen so far, you are a very thoughtful, well-mannered, kind young man, deserving of all the love and attention that he wants. One day, someone (who isn't halfway across the world) is going to see that you are a poet trapped inside the body of a f̶i̶n̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ lawyer guy, and you are going to adore them as much as they adore you. Until then, may the melancholy gods have mercy upon us. Looking forward to the next one.

ciao amico! nice reflections today as always, i think birthdays are just not meant to be for some of us, celebrating ourselves feels very awkward to me considering the reason ( not a success or stuff like that ) i really like to spend those days with mom and dad, not celebrating actually, but feeling cuddled ( with a nice lunch made by mom for example ), storing some good memories also getting a beer with friends is a part of it, but just like a day off from work/study ( turning off thoughts maybe ). it’s ok to feel melancholic, i’m not either satisfied with what i’ve achieved ( relationships/study ), but i always try to rationalise that feeling ( like you are doing too ) and if i feel like it’s fine to feel that way ( because maybe there is still a long way ahead or else ) i try not to get absorbed by it. anyway, buon compleanno amico, wish you the best 🍀

ok posted 1 minute ago i am definitely the first but going to watch the video later cause i am reading xD

Hi, Ben! Cutting 1000 calories a day? Couldn't be me. You're going to be one grumpy kid! I have been trying to formulate a comment ever since you posted your last video. I hear you. Sometimes you give and give and get nothing in return. I worked in healthcare (in the US) for five years, and the hardest part of the job was finding that balance of how far to push myself to help others. By the end of those five years, I had burned out so bad that I had started watching small KZbinrs named Ben to try and feel something. No but really, boundaries are important, especially for Bens with people-pleasing tendencies. If you give people the opportunity to take advantage of your kindness, then they will do it. You may be main character in your own story, but in other people's stories, you're just a supporting character. Communicating your needs or your boundaries can feel a bit needy sometimes, but... nobody can read your mind. So... how do you get people to recognize your worth? How do you get others to reciprocate? It's so hard. And this is especially difficult in school, because you are almost never going to be somebody's first priority. I think you just have to find the right people. Invest your time and energy into the people who are good at communication; people you value the most; people who you don't expect anything back from, because they already provide you with so much. And be careful not to spend time or energy that you don't have. Also, I like this video by Dr Orion Taraban. He suggests giving others "The Gift of your Absence." I think it's worth a listen. kzbin.info/www/bejne/roStlIeOlLqGhpo Hope it gets better for you, mate. Cheers.

great video man, you sure have inspired me to try something same..

need to show food preparations...

we need higher volume, i cannot hear the words clearly..

I love this it’s like a journals entry instant sub

Just wanted to let you know this is on my feed so you’re reaching people. It’s so sweet to start off a video with gratitude.

I only just found your channel Ben, but I'm really enjoying this project and these updates. Cheers!

It’s a really nice video, and I hope you do well at your next exam!🫶🏻

this mindset of handling those things not coming your way is a very strong weapon, something that i’m developing thanks to uni and many obstacles in the way, and that i see in your person really glad to hear you’re having a great time! buona giornata amico 🍀

Jesus Christ loves you all

Hi, Ben! I'm glad to hear that you got to spend some time with your family. I've got a younger brother, too - I hope he doesn't end up like me, haha. Are you familiar with that Charli XCX song - "girl, so confusing"? When you said 7:25 "awkward kind of phase thing," I immediately thought of it. In the song, Charli explains her frustration with her relationship with another singer, Lorde; how she wishes to be friends, but the awkward space that she feels between them prevents her from doing so. And then Lorde responds to her in the remix with her own verse. I don't know that you'll ever get that remix verse from this girl that's on your mind. It sounds like her action of ignoring you at the door & not making eye contact is a way of communicating that she is not interested. Sorry, mate. If this is the case, then I assure you, happiness/peace will come with space and time. At 10:08 you say you want to be objective, but there are factors clouding your vision. Could those factors be... feelings and emotions? Feelings tend to be a bit of a blind-spot for lawyer-types, who prefer logic and objectivity. Not just other people's feelings, but your own feelings, too. Anyways, good luck with your competition!! You'll do great!!

hi ben, your italian buddy here! quick message: 1. i’m really appreciating hearing your thoughts about what you go through, it gives many points for reflection 2. i think that closure is a very personal perspective and you don’t need the other person to achieve it ( that’s what i understood over time but never got to do it myself properly, kind of hypocritical by me, but it is hard i guess haha ) anyway, best of luck with everything 🍀

hii i can help you to grow your you tube channel are you interstede

Hey Ben. I just wanted to thank you I've been going through a rough time recently but hearing about your day has actually been helping me through it, It feels like I'm sat down listening to a friend talk about their day and that's really comforting for me. Best wishes! :>

Are you irish?

Hey you look very good!!

Well done, Ben Back to work then!!!

Congrats on your win amico 🍀

Woah this is my first video. This series is wildly intimate. It feels as of though im reading a friend’s journal. Managing friends is hard. Especially once you finish your law studies. Also you are valid in feeling bitter about not having your birthday text answered. It would be one thing if the message was a meme or something trivial. But a birthday message is sacred. Nevertheless, I have a three strikes system. So if your friend doesn’t engage with you on two separate instances (ex two messages on different days, with significant time in between) then I suggest to do the right thing. Just kindly stop giving that person your time and grace. I always say, we never burn bridges, we walk away from them. Im 23 and just finished uni. There are friends who showed me love and kindness but just don’t care about me anymore. Every friendship has a purpose and an end. Just appreciate what was, grieve what has been lost and move on. On the note, of feeling, please never think that you feel too much. Open your heart. Yes people will let you down, even try to hurt you. But at the end to have felt something is better than to have felt nothing. If you are feeling overwhelmed, please share it with people. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Hi, Ben! Hope you had a good weekend, law school sounds tough! 4:07 Sorry to hear about your friend not responding to your birthday message. It's not unreasonable for you to feel bothered by that. But when you start thinking about how much time or effort that you afford or give to people, then it starts getting a bit transactional. For me, I don't like to think that any time spent or effort used on people "goes to waste." At the very least, it's a lesson learned. I was the type of person in university that made a birthday cake for all of my friends. And then when my own birthday came around... nobody did the same for me. Imagine this very sad kid on his twentieth birthday, making a cake for himself at 10pm. It's as ridiculous as it sounds. So, I deleted my birthday off of Facebook, and essentially deleted those expectations of others. Sure, less people would message me, but I started to appreciate more and more the people who did decide to take note of my birthday, because it meant that they really cared. So maybe next year, you won't spend as much time formulating a birthday message to that particular person, and that's ok. If you don't at least _try_ in a friendship/relationship, then you'll never know what might come of it. It's the _keeping score_ that is going to burn you out, because it's hard to keep up with _what you owe other people_ and _what other people owe you_ , and not everyone shares this transactional mindset in the first place. 6:29 You say, "I've got a very different idea of what a friend should be than most people might have." That's very understandable. Everyone has a different upbringing, a different history of friendships and relationships in general. If you spot value in a particular person and you really want to become closer with them, you should consider communicating those expectations with them. You'd be surprised to learn how far some people will stick out their neck for you. Cheers 🙂(P.S. I appreciate that you acknowledged me at the end of your video. But please don't feel the need to formulate a response to my comments! After all, I'm just an internet stranger. I know you're a busy guy.)

Hi Ben, I'm Ben 🙂 I stumbled upon your channel a few days ago, and I can't pass up my namesake, so I've been listening. Your introspection is so great. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been happy with the way things are. If you're open to it, let me probe that wrinkly brain of yours. (If not, that's ok, you don't have to acknowledge.) I like how you said that _knowing your value_ can help with your people-pleasing tendencies. Sometimes, people-pleasing comes from trying to over-compensate for an insecurity that you might have. I think if you are able to pinpoint what your biggest _insecurities_ are, then this is the key to reworking your thoughts and behaviors. Think of an insecurity as a story that you might tell yourself. For example, my insecurities are: "I am unworthy. I do not belong. I am not enough." I might people-please by paying my friends' food bill to show my worth; by working extra hours to show that I belong to the team; by love-bombing and taking on extra chores to show my partner to show that I can be enough. The remedy is to spin the story: "I am worthy. I belong. I am enough." To go through your timeline and remind yourself of all the times that you were secure. It's like the job interview's STAR method. For example, "I am worthy of friendship because I was there for him during his breakup. I felt like I belonged at work when my boss congratulated me on my success. Whenever my partner and I do anything simple like take a walk down the street, I know that I am enough." Doesn't have to be narcissistic. Just re-wiring the bad thoughts into good ones. Hope this helps.

I understand where you're coming from. I once was part of a toxic friend group where conversations often revolved around everyone vying for attention, making it feel like a competition. This still affects how I act in social environment.

Awww, you are so cute. Like, I mean this in a genuine way, and I like the fact that you find the courage to talk so freely about your experiences and feelings.

It’s very nice to see you getting up compared to last videos! Hope you get to solve the situation with that good friend of yours, have a nice day man

Hi man, I don't really know how your videos got in my homepage but just wanted to say that you're doing a great job with these videos and share some support! Keep it up, things will get better if you endure (at least that's what I tell to myself when I fail exams ahah), greetings from Italy🇮🇹! little update after watching this one and previous video: you're actually helping someone out there, hope that helps!

Great video Ben. Keep it up, excited to see the project progress

Does it worry you that the people you know and are talking about will see this?

you are the type of person I would pass by on the street and think to myself, "Man, I wish I could be friends with him, he seems so sweet"

keep it up mate!!!!

Hi! Your more recent video just got recommended for me, far away here in Brazil! I’m in a daily journaling project also, but on paper, to help with self awareness and mental health! Very nice to see your process! Thank you for the inspiration and keep it up!!! 😊

I relate to so many of your thoughts man, thanks for making this

thanks for sharing<3

I have no idea why the KZbin algorithm recommended this video to me today. Here’s my comment, expressed with deepest sincerity: 1. At your age (being a student), yes, a number of these meetings will be transactional as you establish yourself. Continue to attend these meetings and master the art of active listening while you become a recognized and interesting student. You’ll pick up a great amount of knowledge, but you’ll also pick up tidbits of personal information, such as a person’s preference of Italian cuisine, another’s favorite football team, or another’s passion for gardening. People enjoy talking about themselves regarding what brings joy to their life. Learn just a little bit about these different subjects, ask simple questions of them: “Were you able to solve that aphid problem in your garden?”, or “I understand you’re a fan of Italian cuisine; could you recommend an easy dish to cook, along with a paired wine that fits with a student’s budget?”, or “I was able to catch a view of the end of the last game; wasn’t that an exciting ending?” People are touched when others remember their interests, but what they’ll remember most about you is how wonderful you made them feel. 2. While at the meeting, it would have taken you but a moment to step aside, text your female friend, who you’d been looking forward to meeting at the library, and informing her there was a possibility that you might be about 10 minutes later (or whatever it was, as you said you were running late) than you had planned. At the time of this video, do you even know if she had arrived, waited a few minutes, and left, thinking you’d stood her up? Rather than get all bothered about it, and think of the time/cost in making time to see her - and now turning it into a transactional episode (“I gave up time and I gave up money to be there.”) - it would have been better to text her from the library, explaining that you’d run late and apologize for your delay in arriving. You shoulder some of the burden, and put the ball in her court to explain her absence. This could all be a misunderstanding; however, this might be her way of rethinking things, and taking a step backwards (even just momentarily) into the strictly ‘friend zone’ while she analyzes her or your intent. PLEASE don’t approach her with any version of your thoughts/speech from 6:46 to 8:06, as it’s guaranteed to destroy any bit of a budding relationship. Clearly, you want a relationship. Healthy relationships involve two partners who are often progressing at different rates, with different needs. Again, work at perfecting the art of active listening, always striving to be a better version of yourself. 3. Dinner. Dude! You made dinner early, and then informed your roommates that the food was prepared? They arrived home to a meal that had been sitting for how long to cool off? Do they even enjoy that type of cuisine? Be grateful that the kitchen was cleaned, and the food was put away to enjoy for another meal. If you each have assigned meal preparation/cooking nights, and you’ve got a meeting that prevents you from cooking dinner for everyone at a predetermined group ‘dinner time’, then communicate ahead of time, asking if someone would trade their meal cooking turn with yours. They might have all groaned about arriving home to a meal that they couldn’t fully enjoy, so they stopped for a quick bite on the way home. Take a moment to be grateful that they cleaned up and stored the food in the fridge, rather than throw it out. You perseverate on your personal “time and cost” to your detriment. 4. Remaining at the flat with your roommates. The economics and location appear to be working for you…..again, in a transactional way. Your three female roommates obviously have developed a friendship that doesn’t include you. This happens, even if all the roommates are males. You seem to yearn for recognition, perhaps more of a ‘comrade’ relationship. If you want this, then you must work at communicating more effectively, such as asking about meal preferences/spice levels, offering to wash up their dishes, perhaps sharing a bottle of wine a colleague mentioned at the meeting of the British High Commission you’d attended the prior week. Show some interest in their studies, their work, etc. You can do this without getting caught up in any personal relationship drama they may be going through by establishing some healthy boundaries. Remember, YOU may want to stay, but THEY may collectively approach you about moving on. This might be your wake-up call. @14:15, you say, “I’m willing to forgive, as long as they show me that they’re willing to take steps to mitigate the same event happening again.” What? They may be completely unaware that any transgression has taken place. Do you even know that ‘library stand-up gal” didn’t have a personal emergency that prevented her from meeting you? Your roommates may be unaware that your feelings are hurt because they didn’t eat the meal you prepared for them. How can any of these people mitigate what they are unaware of? @ 14:28, you state “I’ll be kind, but I won’t be nice. I’ll be understanding and empathetic, but I won’t let them walk over me.” That’s why it’s important to set healthy, realistic boundaries. By the way, it is possible to be kind AND nice, while being understanding and empathetic, and standing within your respectful boundaries - as well as honoring the boundaries of others. Please lower your expectations a bit, as people of varying ages, talents and intellect cannot all be held to the same level. You’ll be absolutely delighted when others exceed your expectations. This comes from someone who has lived at least 40 years longer than you have. While holding yourself to high standard, always stay open to the unexpected, unpredictable joys of life.

i just found day 21 so will be watching them all !!

this is a really cool idea !! also calling it a project is so beautiful because it takes away the pressure to change and makes it more of a challenge. Something that can be paused and come back to. I relate to a lot of what you said in this video so thankyou :)

keep making videos, soon you will become popular

new legend