Ok yeah. I cried.

Я волна - это ещё отсылка к старому клубному треку, в котором это была почти единственная реплика, но её теперь знают все

I saw you reblog this! I was at work so i didnt have time to really look into it. I though it had been done with intent and was just another bad event of our history... Im so much happier to know it was an accident! I guess you gotta know it was the oldest somehow right? To be fair, even if the oldest tree NOW dies, it wont stop the old one still alive from someday breaking that score! Provided we dont ruin it first.... also wait isnt there also that aspen tree colony thing thats like all supposedly 1 tree? Does that count as anything?

I miss Tumblr, a bit. I left when I was young, and stupid and arrogant - apparently I hurt people, though I don't remember anything from back then. I do remember how immensely creative everyone was though.

i consider this a succes. gonna get worse from now on!

in my defense, i am a silly goose

LOVED THE HUMOUR & NEW INFO!!! XXXXX

Enemies to lukewarm acquaintances.

There actually is a trope on TVTropes called Schrödinger's Gun, but it’s not the one described in this video. Schrödinger's Gun is when the consequences of something that occurs in a game aren’t determined until the player reacts to it. Example: Nanako in Persona 4 gets injured and falls into a coma. If you kill the guy who accidentally hurt her, she dies. If you don’t, she lives. There is no reason why those two events should be connected. Therefore, it’s an example of Schrödinger's Gun.

never mind on the neil gaiman bit 😬

Grissini looks like those hard sticks you get with cheese in those little tiny packages or they're also in garditos or some other mixed bags like Chex mix. If that's what those are then those are actually pretty good. Wouldn't mind if they sold those in bags by themselves so I didn't have to buy pretzel sticks all the time because sometimes I don't want pretzel flavor.

as a note, Vampires did not originate as allegories for sexuality, even in film. That's a lot more recent in the grand scheme of things. Vampires have their roots in death and disease, as well as those in positions of power. Depending on the story, vampires are these things that die during the day but resurrect at night and a single bite can turn you into one, and make you want to spread that as well. With a focus on power, vampires are more discerning about spreading their condition, using it as a means to exert control over others by turning them or those close to them. Vampires have always been very closely associated with zombies

There is an 80s SF novel kind of like this, a bit. 'Genesis Quest' by David Moffitt. Aluens receive genetic information in a transmission (like 'Species') and grow humans and an array of needed species to feed them. They raise them to live among them, but a group turn to terrorism to demand a separate world for humans.

The only time I really answer the phone is while I am at work. So on the rare cases I do get a call on my cell, I answer it like I do at work, "Hello, you've reached [BUSINESS NAME], this is BurntSquirrel, how may I help you?" I've missed important calls this way...

I AM annoying. And it's everyone else's problem. I love me. Unapologetically me. Me without remorse.

Once, I was writing an erotica for someone who had requested it, which involved a typical male/female pairing. The man was a conman, so I wrote in a secondary plotline about the conman having a rivalry with a police officer who harasses the conman because the officer knows he's a conman, but can't arrest him because there's no actual evidence. In the middle of the story, the conman is having a date at a very expensive restaurant with the female lead, and the officer happens to be there too, also on a date with a different woman. The women go to the bathroom, so the officer walks over to the conman's table and the two essentially have a conversation where they are insulting and shit-talking each other, but doing so with a facade of politeness since they're in a fancy restaurant and don't want to start a scene. The whole thing was written on the basis of the two absolutely hating each other. When I showed the draft to the requester, they had a response along the lines of, "wow, I really like the dynamic between [conman] and [officer], you think they could be boyfriends later on?" I felt flabbergasted. XD

fun fact: the reason the word grotesque (cave-like) came to mean ugly or disgusting is because when people found ancient roman buildings built into caves, they were made uncomfortable by the fact that the area was clearly meant to be populated but was empty. in conclusion: liminal spaces have been a thing for ages source: i made it up

of course the oldest tree is still around, because when some pillock hacks it down then there's a new oldest tree

Man, imagine what the poor man must've went through. Like, he dedicated his life to studying trees, and then accidentally, by sheer coincidence, cuts down this one tree, only to find out it was, unbeknownst to him or anyone else, an ancient relic that people in his profession would probably come from all over the world just for a chance to see it. It's like an archeologist at a dig site in California accidentally digs into and cuts a wire to some supervillain's hidden device and causes it to blow up Stonehenge.

I knew the mango was coming the second time but it still slapped as a punchline

And let's be honest, half of the humans performing these escapes would literally be doing it for the sole purpose of messing with the aliens. I have no doubt that aliens would drastically underestimate how powerful of motivators boredom and pettiness are to humans.

This comic is made using AI. Antithetical to the comic's message to use the very thing that would cause our world to become how it is in said comic. "Save the trees!" chants a choir of activists and their thousands of picket signs.

is the twitter rebrand supposed to be the revenge dress™?

New cult idea protecting a tree from being cut down until the sun explodes

With my luck, Aphrodite would pair me with a lesbian. I'd pick Athena. Sword and armor? That's fucking awesome.

Exchanging names with the fae is seen as marriage in most versions of the folk lore

It depends. If they provide me with my preferred diet, a mate, tailored the environment to me, and gave me access to the internet I'd probably stay in an alien zoo. It beats working a minimum wage job to earn rent so you can survive being poor for another month, plus their super advanced alien computers could probably run heavily modded Skyrim and heavily modded minecraft at 60 fps, thats a dream come true.

While I appreciate that the scientists are very smart and probably really great guys, they are simply wrong. All of those things are exactly what they say they are (except the mountain chicken, but he's committing identity fraud and I respect the anarchy).

You know what I just realised about Jingo? It ends like a monty python sketch. "No, it's no good. The war has become too silly now, you're all under arrest" - the flying Duke of Ankh

Torto mean crooked, dented 😂

That story when hard

just because you cut a tree down doesn't mean it's dead, the stump would sprout again

Atlas Shrugged probably covers this and you assume I wasn't meant to be a dictator.

panda ants are wasps

the aliens giving me a computer and wifi access and watching as i never try to escape again: how come this didnt work with the other humans

Noooooo, Pancake. I have known you for only a few minutes, and I am crying 😢

The Mickey Mouse quote is an appeal to hypocrisy that ignores all other alternatives as being less real than the worthless chemicals and existing as hypotheticals

You know that “human captive plays insane tricks on captors to topple their entire civilization” is literally the plot of golden-age scifi “Next of kin” by Eric Frank Russell ?

I heard this, I thought from context it was near me and I think just heard it was one of the oldest, but omg yeah... Poor dude

2:35 so… nazi scientists?

the last trope described literally happens in phineas and ferb does it not??

Look up The Senator. It was a bald cyprus tree older than Jesus that was burned in 2012 by a woman who lit a fire to get a good look at the meth she was about to smoke. This happened in Florida if the meth didn't make that clear enough.

I feel real bad for that guy. It wasn't his fault. Accidents happen. Sometimes the consequences are worse than we could have foreseen.

They should name that tree's stump Epimetheus in memory of that mistake. (Prometheus means "forethought." Epimetheus means "afterthought.")

That's like in St Augastine where we had a Magnolia over 2000 years old that was a historical landmark and tourist attraction and then some drunk guy burned it down.