I am so sad to hear that this happened to you, that is a huge loss for you. Those kind of scams also leave a person with an additional area of trauma with the explicit threats to harm you. I hope you are finding ways to care for yourselves and each other. I also hope you’ve been able to view a couple of the videos where I talk about the various tactics scammers use. There are SO many!

@@createlifepaths I will explore all your videos. Every morning I wake up to the challenge of mental health. I rely heavily on faith (God tested all His messengers) but I am grappling with every emotion you have mentioned. I am sure my husband does as well. We both responded with trust and panic to the scammers’ manipulations. What a balm to find you! Thank you.

@@juliasimpson774 You are very welcome!

I ran into a recent scam work from home qortechno online company, so it was almost as legit as the real company. The scam lasted 6 months and I lost almost $150k, I'm in so much pain and mad at myself for believing them that they would return all my money, all crypto and wire transfers, I'm so embarrassed and can't function right. I cashed out all my stocks and even took a 401k loan to pay them. It's very easy to fall for this kind of stuff. I thank God for having my normal job or I'd just lose my mind. Thank you for your inspiring videos.

I am sad to hear that a scam has had so much of a terrible impact on you. I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here on my channel and that they were helpful. It sounds like you have recently realized how deep that impact has been for you. One of my other videos is about searching for a counselor for yourself and along with that, I would recommend this: After screening for someone who is in your state (or near you) and takes your insurance, check their profile or website to see if they work with trauma. This is the most important mental health issue so it’s a “must have.” If you find someone who also works with betrayal, or grief, or both, those are the next most important. Then if possible interview at least three professionals to see if they seems like a good fit for you and that they seem to understand what you are going for. If you get any sense of judgement, that’s a deal breaker. If the person expresses that they aren’t sure they have the knowledge to be helpful this is a great sign actually. If it feels appropriate you can let them know that I consult with colleagues on this and have an online training that gives my colleagues the confidence to work with a person who was scammed. I’d be happy to talk about it if that helps. All my best to you!

I am so sad to hear that this has happened to you. It is an extremely difficult and distressing thing to happen and your description of what you are feeling shows that. I hope that you were able to watch more of my videos here, there are a lot about what it is like for people when a scam happens to them. Please take care of yourself, and I hope for all the best for you!

@@createlifepaths thank you very much. Now your videos a relief for me. That was a OLX scam. I was scammed arround 132 dollars.

Scams take so many forms and this is one that doesn’t have as much attention as other forms. It is still a crime, it is stealing, and yes it is very upsetting for many reasons including a sense of betrayal, the anger you feel, losing time and money, and so much more.

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you! I hope you were able to watch more of the videos here on my channel, and that they have helped you. Please remind yourself that you are not dumb and stupid; absolutely anyone can be scammed because scammers have a ton of skills in manipulation, lying, and in human behavior. They tailor scams very specifically and even have scripts that they follow in different kinds of scams. It is systematic, there’s a structure to how they perform and engage with people to steal from them. And it is stealing, it is a crime. A couple of the videos here give examples of how they use their evil skills and I especially hope those videos help you to know that it is not at all about being dumb. All my best to you :-)

The amount of money might seem insignificant to some but there is often so much more to it. As you mention, you live in a place where that IS a lot, and for students like you, you’re often in a position that it is even harder on you when this happens. And then there is the emotional part of it, which can be so distressing. I hope that you were able to watch more of the videos here on my channel and that they were helpful to you. All my best to you!

Bob, thank you so much for mentioning DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). It is an effective and freeing method to use when emotions get to be overwhelming. It has helped a lot of people. You can find books, videos, resources online that include worksheets, and also many counselors are trained in helping people use DBT to feel better. There are four areas in DBT that have both specific tools to use and all four areas complement each other as well; they are mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotion regulation. I’ve been trained in and use DBT often, even if I don’t specifically say it at the time. In fact, some of the self care and other healing things I mention in these videos incorporate some DBT. All my best to you!

I am so glad that you felt better after watching this video! I hope you were able to watch more of them on this channel and that they also helped. I hope you also are able to find some positive ways to care for yourself, all my best to you!

True, learn from it, don’t trust anyone again.

Trusting in other people and how scammers use this is a good example of how scammers take a person’s positive qualities and use them to cause harm. Trust builds connections and we are social beings - we survive and thrive in relationships and groups, but scammers have ways of building trust through lies and manipulation. After a crime like this happens it is difficult to find the way between keeping your ability to trust and also not offering trust when the person hasn’t earned it with us. Anyone can be scammed, and it sucks that we all have to be so on guard these days because the problem is so rampant!

@rahatahmed6188 it’s a balancing act to some extent, isn’t it? To survive and thrive in this world we still need to trust some people…but the balancing part of it is that we also have to carefully discern which people have earned it and which ones have not. It can be so difficult sometimes!

@@createlifepaths of course I didn’t mean to literally never trust anyone again. I meant that you must be skeptical of anyone who wishes to take money from you.

@@rahatahmed6188 I appreciate you clarifying that and also so you know, I was assuming you weren’t saying it literally. I have said things like that out of anger, disappointment, distress and more where I went to the absolute (using words like always, never, all, etc.) and didn’t mean it quite that harshly. It is more about the emotion in the moment than the actual words. When something is written, the emotion isn’t always clear, so I added a bit to what you said and now we’ve had several replies back and forth! This will help others to consider how they can repair their own ability to trust in others, thank you!

Thank you for commenting, sleep loss is definitely one of the top effects that happens after a scam, you end up ruminating about what happened, and the shame of it, and people often blame themselves. Please remind yourself that scammers are disgusting and ruthless criminals; this was done TO you, like another commenter recently added on one of these videos. I hope you are finding positive ways to care for yourself.

Oh no, I am so sad to hear this. The loss of money is awful and when I think about what this meant to you though, it makes me think that money can be replac but your time with your family can’t. I hope you have been able to make a plan, if you watched the rest of the videos I hope they helped, too. All my best to you!

I am glad to hear that you were able to escape and so many things you said are true! It is demoralizing and is done TO people. The victim-blaming makes it worse and I hope that my work makes a dent in that part. Thanks for commenting!

I am sad this happened to you! I hope the videos have helped and that you are doing better since this happened. All my best to you!

There are all kinds of scams and they are all awful, I hope that you have started to feel better and that these videos helped. All my best to you!

@@createlifepaths thank you. Every now and then I think about it but it has definitely been leaving me slowly. I learnt my lesson and I know that It’ll never happen again

I hope you recover that item, too! The emotional distress that is added on top of the financial loss is so awful. It’s one of the parts of a scam that people don’t often realize is happening. All my best to you!

Thanks!

I completely get that. For what it's worth, there is a teeny tiny chance that your crime matches up with others that have been reported, and it gives them enough information to pursue the scammers. I don't want to give any false hope here because that's already a small chance and it is even smaller that they recover any money at all. Also for what it's worth, all reports contribute to giving us more data about scammers and scams making it more possible to stop them. Or, it's a way to strengthen our ability to prevent others from having it happen to them. An exception is that if the crime happened through cryptocurrency and is within the last 24 hours or close to that, report it to your local law enforcement and ask them to get in touch with the Santa Clara DA's office, because they have a group that is good enough that there is a little better chance at tracking them down. It has to be pretty quick after it happened though. All my best to you!

I can tell you about two that I've heard positive feedback about. One of them is through AARP's Fraud Watch Network. They have many groups throughout each week so you can usually find one that fits your schedule. You can usually join up pretty quick, too The other is called Cybercrime Support Network. I have heard positive feedback about their groups too, but it takes longer to get into one. I think they only have one going at a time. It is very limited, and I'd say it is a good idea to be really cautious about Facebook groups - I've joined a few to see how they are and so far I've only found them crawling with money recovery scammers 🤮 One other note, there's no age or membership requirement with AARP, anyone can join.

It still hurts and is hard to get over, isn't it? There is betrayal and loss in a situation like that. I hope this video and some of the others are helpful to you!

Yes we can, please email me at [email protected]

I am so sad to hear that this happened to you. You will be able to get over this and I know that when it has just happened it feels like you will never feel better. I hope you watched all the videos, and there are others on my channel here that aren't in this playlist. All my best to you!

There were a few comments from a money recovery scammer on your comment until this morning. I just reported the profile and deleted the comments. Yesterday I created another money recovery scam video that I plan to add to the end of all the other scam related videos.

It sounds like scammers are taking advantage of positive qualities you have such as being kind, generous, or giving people the benefit of the doubt. To put up defenses for yourself, you may need to go against those values at times. Does this fit? I'd be happy to talk with you more about this, and you can reach out to me at [email protected].

Thank you for taking the time to say this here! It's so important to remind yourself that you can overcome this. :-)

@@createlifepaths I did. Thank you. Good sharing.

That is a great question and I would be so grateful to see public service announcements about this!

I talk about hindsight bias frequently, because it gives a person a false sense of how they would have known it was a scam at the time, but, they were NOT THERE. Scammers have a systematic way of manipulating people and they scare you, they pose as an authority figure. These things are not as obvious in the moment. Please don't take all this blame on yourself, scammers are criminals and it was stealing. All my best to you!

Unfortunately you are so right that people judge and it can be difficult to get support. You may get some ideas on how to ask for support with this handout that I created for the BBB (link below). Hopefully that helps you to ask your financial institution for help as well to do what is needed to correct your account. All my best to you :-) scamsurvivaltoolkit.bbbmarketplacetrust.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/US-asking-for-help-after-scam.pdf

Oh yes, it sure is awful. And we go through all sorts of thoughts while we try to make sense of what happened. I hope you were able to watch more of the videos and that they are helpful. All my best to you!

@@createlifepaths thank you so much! I’m doing a lot better now.

@@rahatahmed6188 I am so glad to hear this!

@@createlifepaths thanks for the videos. They are really helpful. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out!

Yes, unfortunately there are way too many people who victim blame and feel like they are superior and this would never happen to them. This can happen to ANYone. If you ask someone for support, please carefully choose this person. 1) here is a link to a toolkit that I helped build: scamsurvivaltoolkit.bbbmarketplacetrust.org/my-mental-or-emotional-health-was-impacted-2/ and 2) on that site I just linked, you can find a one-page handout to guide you in choosing someone to support you. You can get to that directly at this link: scamsurvivaltoolkit.bbbmarketplacetrust.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/US-asking-for-help-after-scam.pdf I hope that handout is a good place to start, if you are considering asking someone for help and support. All my best to you, Cathy

@CosmicNomadTarot I wish I had seen this comment sooner, please reach out to a local emergency care center or (in the US) call 988 for crisis assistance. Please take care of yourself, and remind yourself that this is not all of who you are, and that you will not feel this terrible forever. All my best to you, Cathy

I also saw your other comments and I'll add this here, too, that if you are in crisis please call 988 (in the United States) or go to a local emergency care center. This is an awful thing to happen and I hope you find a way to take care of yourself very well, and start to feel at least a little better soon. All my best to you, Cathy

I am glad you found my videos and that they were helpful to you. A scam is a horrible experience, and when it is a romance scam, there is a huge amount of betrayal that happens too! I hope you find ways to take care of yourself and that you found the other videos in the series helpful too. All my best to you!

All my best to you!

I hope you continued watching the videos and found something helpful to you here. I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you! Please take care of yourself, all my best, Cathy

You have been through a lot, and to add a scam, too, just seems so horribly unjust! I hope you found something useful to you in my videos here. Please take care.

Please don't give up