I LOVED this conversation. I think you knew I would Melissa. Yes we have Superpowers, these are gifts. We are Loved ❤️Thank Russell, I'd love to connect with you 💕 🙏🏽
@MindYourOwnKarmaАй бұрын
Thank you Donna. Our greatest strife can be transformed into our greatest strength! We go through tough times to open our eyes, grow and then help others on the journey.
@exit32podcastАй бұрын
U know u ask hell of good questions and u speak in a manner I just wanna keep listening 👂 I couldn’t leave a comment on the video because comments are off ps keep doing Good interviews and keep that positive energy
@MindYourOwnKarmaАй бұрын
Thanks for the feedback! And thanks for watching! I will check on the comments being turned off. :)
@donnamarie11332 ай бұрын
Fabulous, I loved sharing with you.Thank you Melissa ❤
@MindYourOwnKarma2 ай бұрын
You are ALWAYS a great guest! Thank you for this important interview!
@maryannscott55672 ай бұрын
It is disheartening to hear someone with so much experience and knowledge of relinquishment, adoption trauma and the child "welfare" system still choose to be part of the problem and take advantage of the supply sold by the adoption industry. Perhaps her lack of a thoughtful response to the question "why did YOU choose to adopt?" stems from her own unrecognized trauma of being raised with adopted siblings by parents who modeled "white savior" entitlement as a family norm. As a natural mother coerced to relinquish a child, this episode was a really hard listen.
@MindYourOwnKarma2 ай бұрын
I know some of these episodes can be tough to listen to so thank you for still listening and telling your opinion and truth as well. If we can identify where the breakdowns are in the system and society in general then maybe we can start striving for the changes that we want to see, and even that can be difficult when we all have such vast ideas on what that would look like due to our lived experiences.
@maryannscott55672 ай бұрын
@@MindYourOwnKarma The "system" is an industry based on demand and supply, with human beings being the commodity for sale.
@maryannscott55672 ай бұрын
@MindYourOwnKarma It's not that complicated if the "system" is recognized as an industry of demand and supply, with human beings being the product for sale.
@mirfir2 ай бұрын
Thank you! We, adoptees, have an unspoken siblinghood. ❤❤😊😊😊🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@mirfir2 ай бұрын
Part of healing process… most definitely!
@mirfir2 ай бұрын
Wow…😮😢💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽🙌🏾🫶🏽
@MindYourOwnKarma2 ай бұрын
Jim is a warrior for sure and continues to advocate and tell his story whenever and where ever he can.
@maryannscott55673 ай бұрын
Going through the trauma of losing a child to adoption deeply changes a woman forever, not in a good way. So the mother you find when you search will not be the mother she would have been if she'd kept and raised you.
@maryannscott55673 ай бұрын
Catholic Charities "helped" her mother "sort through" the unexpected pregnancy with only one certain outcome: relinquishment. CC also falsified her records with outright lies about her birth parents. This is not the exception but the rule in legal adoption.
@maryannscott55673 ай бұрын
This was great but has gross misinformation about "open" adoption. NOTHING is legally different for any party - the adoptee, the birth parents and adopters. Even if both birth and adoptive parents agree to some arrangement of continuing contact, it is not legally enforceable AND only 2%-5% of such agreements for continued contact are still in practice after the child is 5yo. Adoptive parents stop contact, disappear, etc. And there's nothing the birth family can do to reestablish contact. The child is still so young when contact is ended the adopters can tell them untruths about the birth parents and won't be questioned and the lies continue.
@MindYourOwnKarma3 ай бұрын
I have heard this from others first parents as well. I have an adoptive parent coming up on the show that also has an open adoption. Her daughter is still a toddler. She does talk about the contract some in the episode and it sounded like the visitation stipulations for the BM were all spelled out. IDK if things are changing in that regard or not.
@La_Ru-yg8es3 ай бұрын
Because adopters are mentally ill. Instead of getting counseling or psych help for their infertility/baby obsession. Buying somebody else's baby won't cure their infertility, nor ameliorate their mental health condition. Anybody else with that level of entitlement and obsession would be considered a wackadoodle nutjob, maybe dangerous. But, *every single infertile* has scads of people around them saying, "Ohhhhh, but they'd make such a *wonderful* parent!' 😃😃 My child's kindergarten teacher taught their class at age five, "You get what you get, so don't have a fit." Also... please don't place adopters alongside adoptees and real mothers. There is such a power imbalance, it's unreal. The baby buyers, (child traffickers), have all the money, the power, the say so. Adoptees have 0 power; real mothers have coercion, lies, manipulation, lack of options, and pain. Afterwards, there is intractable grief. (Mine has morphed into righteous anger.) Adoption kilked my daughter, not directly and not quickly. It was a slow, lonely, painful death, at the hands of her biological father, the agency, and the social worker... and her twisted adopters. (Mentally ill wife, husband sent to anger management classes at least once.) We had over a decade of reunion, with fits and starts. Ugh! With the "triad" nonsense. Also, "birthmother" is a slur. Oh, and sociopath biodad, (threatened my life and our daughter's), went on to live a great life!! 😃😃😃👍🏻👍🏻 the only "problems" left in his wake were two ruined lives.
@donnacoyle26434 ай бұрын
I am 72 years old and I am an adoptee. I read your book a couple of weeks ago and loved it. This last summer I went on vacation to Louisiana so the location of your story was relatable to me. Thank you for sharing your story.
@donnamarie11334 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your powerful story Laura. This is such an important series Melissa 👍🏽. My birth mother had another baby less than 2 years after I was adopted. I had a good adoption but the wound was real, who knew ? Me my mother and I. Sadly my mother took her life before I met her. So.much loss shame and pain. Thank you for your wise advise. Thank God we have each other and are speaking out now❤️
@maryannscott55675 ай бұрын
What a heartbreaking story of neverending trauma. Adoption is trauma.
@sarajuanaict5 ай бұрын
I wonder if a PI can figure out ....or follow the money... Of how these judges are making money off of these bogus bs adoptions
@MindYourOwnKarma5 ай бұрын
It really leaves me scratching my head. How was Paul supposed to support the BM during her pregnancy when she wouldn't let him? He didn't even know he was the father! Then to place his daughter when it was clear he wanted his child if she indeed was his. But they go ahead and give her to a new family without confirming paternity first. The whole thing is crazy and scary.
@donnamarie11335 ай бұрын
Sadly I'm not shocked by this. In the UK and the secret family courts the judges are pushing through many unethical and immoral adoptions.. It's easier to see. They are breaking their own laws because they can whilst we don't understand the jurisdiction. Until we do, and can prove they are breaking them, they'll keep breaking them. They make far too much money to stop. But I do believe it's coming to an end. Thats a spiritual opinion that I'll share when we talk. The money in the UK gets transferred down a chain to different agencies and partners to fostering and then adootion. Im also not sure where the monies coming from if a direct adoption? It could be target driven because there's an agenda at play that creating more trauma. Adoption, broken families DV the list is endless and will only multiply obviously. It could be a very severe outcome if allowed to continue. I dont think it will. Sadly many lives will suffer like Eliza and Pauls in the meantime. Since the 70s when my birth mother was coerced, it seems they've mastered the process. A big issue is the narrative that there must be a reason why. All it takes is for the papers to highlight a child being killed by their parent and soon everyone will switch away from the birth parents plight. Truth is adoption and fostering are not interested in these children. They want adoptable children. And they have to lie to make it work. So many lies. Thankfully birth parents in the UK are grouping together and fighting this and starting to win cases with the European court and get their children back. We have to keep the faith. Keep doing what you're doing Paul, This won't stop until the veil is lifted. Thanks for another great interview Melissa 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
@maryannscott55675 ай бұрын
The reason everyone is fighting Paul so hard is because it would set a LEGAL PRECEDENT if he wins and the adoption industry would lose. They can shame and manipulate mothers into giving up their rights but if fathers stand up for the rights to their children, the industry will die.
@MindYourOwnKarma5 ай бұрын
Great point! Thank you!
@donnamarie11335 ай бұрын
Fascinating story thank you for sharing David. I too had wonderful adopted parents. Your description of being in the fog during childhood resonates. Thank you Melissa for another great discussion ❤
@donnamarie11335 ай бұрын
Another great worthwhile discussion. I'm an adoptee and have wonderful adopted parents although have also felt broken with the connection or no connection with my bm. My bm is also passed and I've paternal half siblings born in the same year and have met two of my bio fathers wives from thev60s and 70s. So much to relate to here, I'm inspired with love to look more into my birth mothers life, and will get this book 📙 thanks Melissa and Edward ❤
@MindYourOwnKarma5 ай бұрын
It's so important to know we are not alone in our challenges being adoptees. You have so much to share Donna Marie. Thank you for commenting. :)
@edwarddigang32355 ай бұрын
Donna, I'm pleased that you found value in my conversation with Melissa. I wish you good luck with your continued search. This is a journey down a winding path. If there's anything I can do to provide you support or encouragement, please reach out.
@donnamarie11336 ай бұрын
I loved this interview, what a Wonderful outcome. As an adoptee I could relate to Barbara especially regarding shutting my feelings off. I'm so pleased you're covering their stories too. More birth mothers need recognition. I believe the system that's responsible for our barbaric adoption is trying to eradicate birth mothers.its working when you consider how I used to feel and how many adoptees feel about their birth mothers. It's like a Witch hunt whereby even the adoptees will bypass the primal wound to believe this one. I'm now in love with BM. It's taken 50 years to forgive and understand my story to then realise my bm had a very powerful story too. I'm sad I didn't get to sit close to her like vicky can but happy I can watch reunions like this. Thank you for this great heart felt discussion ❤️
@MindYourOwnKarma6 ай бұрын
Thank you Donna for so eloquently saying how I myself am feeling about birth mothers right now. Their story must be told too or it is an incomplete narrative. We can't fix what we don't examine and so many adoptees don't want and don't care about their BMs 'excuses' for why they did what they did. Resources are so lacking that there's literally little to no help for them to keep their babies. Especially mental and emotional help. Most can't afford that on their own. But we have millions of dollars to pay for babies in adoption? This MUST stop. If adoptees would just realize that helping the birth mother with her mental, emotional and physical needs might have changed their journey, then we are headed in the right direction.
@donnamarie11336 ай бұрын
Another great interview, this is definitely something I'd like try. I've been doing somatic breathwork but this sounds like it goes to where I've not allowed hypnosis to take me. This is on an adoptee thing, I now realise. I'll dm.you. This seems like something I'd like to do for me and for clients in the future. Can I do this online ? I do think I'M on my way nicely in the last year I see a completely different story with my bm and adopted mum. Now I see huge amounts of love, all wanting me to be loved, and yet I've not allowed myself to accept this for myself for 50 years!! Gina is great to listen to, great interview 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 thanks to both of you ❤️
@MindYourOwnKarma6 ай бұрын
Yes, it is online! It’s truly amazing and transformational.
@donnamarie11336 ай бұрын
Thank you Melissa for honouring birth mothers and their importance in our stories Forgiveness is what's setting me free. I'm now feeling closer than ever to my own bm even though she passed many years ago. Forgiveness for myself and my bm is what's healing me. ❤️
@MindYourOwnKarma6 ай бұрын
When I see a BM I think, there’s a story there. What is it? It’s so important that we go back to the beginning. Lack of support in so many areas. And literally no support post adoption. I can’t imagine the trauma and survival strategies that one would have to use to get through giving up your child. Heartbreaking. Heartbreaking! 💔
@donnamarie11336 ай бұрын
@@MindYourOwnKarma soon i would love to talk to you more about the forgiveness and truth around my bm's story. I could have spent my whole life unaware and yet I now realise it's been eating me up inside, she's my mother, we are connected even though she's no longer alive. Im amazed at how distant I've been from her for so many years ❤️
@MindYourOwnKarma6 ай бұрын
I would love that! Get in touch with me when you feel ready to share what you have discovered. I just feel a shift this year to tell these kinds of stories, so thank you for wanting to tell yours. @@donnamarie1133 💞
@maryannscott55677 ай бұрын
Her father's suicide is so tragic. My son lost to adoption was also a birth father who took his own life.
@MindYourOwnKarma6 ай бұрын
I am so sorry to hear that. It still amazes me that people think that adoption doesn't have detrimental consequences. The narrative is so strong and people want to believe the fairytale. Many don't want to hear the truth of what can happen. It's not the feel good story they want to hear.
@maryannscott55677 ай бұрын
The abandonment issue is at the bottom of the loyalty to the adopters who lied to her most of her life about her most fundamental identity.
@maryannscott55677 ай бұрын
Maddening. All these stories of forsaken fathers who really wanted their child and mothers who are rejecting.
@MindYourOwnKarma6 ай бұрын
I am currently working on having a bio father that got his child adopted literally out from under him on the show. He's still fighting years later!
@maryannscott55677 ай бұрын
One of the most important interviews I've ever heard. I'm 67 and 1 year into reunion.
@MindYourOwnKarma7 ай бұрын
I can't agree more. So much education, validation and compassion. I loved this interview!!!
@maryannscott55677 ай бұрын
Wow. Just wow. What a special sharing. Thank you, Jacqueline ❤
@mellyhigg65068 ай бұрын
It was a great enlightening interview. Thank you for sharing. ❤
@MindYourOwnKarma8 ай бұрын
Thank your for listening!!
@maryannscott55678 ай бұрын
Thank you and take care, Melissa.
@kamisharobinson25978 ай бұрын
I love you GiGi❤
@maryannscott55678 ай бұрын
And remember before November is Adoptee Remembrance Day on October 30.
@dajacrippen96479 ай бұрын
Wow ! What a moving story. I love the way you captured her journey.
@MindYourOwnKarma8 ай бұрын
She tells it so well. I know it's going to help a lot of fellow adoptees.
@gigisturgis9 ай бұрын
Thank you so so much for allowing me to share my story… you are so amazing! It was very therapeutic! 😊❤
@MindYourOwnKarma8 ай бұрын
Thank YOU!!! You are so awesome!
@gigisturgis9 ай бұрын
🧡🧡🧡💫
@dorothylockwood94999 ай бұрын
I am so damn proud of my daughter. She is my love and my life
@maryannscott55679 ай бұрын
Looking forward to her book!❤
@MindYourOwnKarma9 ай бұрын
Me too!!
@MindYourOwnKarma9 ай бұрын
Me too!! Such a great vision.
@geromefrieler965110 ай бұрын
*promo sm* 😳
@crystalnigmatjonova10 ай бұрын
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one!!!
@MindYourOwnKarma10 ай бұрын
Nope, you're not alone!
@MindYourOwnKarma10 ай бұрын
I'm so glad this helped you! I hope that you got some validation.
@donnamarie1133 Жыл бұрын
Great interview Melissa and Regina.. I agree it's great to hear a positive Réunion story. Also fascinating to hear about this work. This sound similar to NLP.s parts integration but with more depth. I love that this is getting to the root cause and that you now believe the primal wound can be healed Melissa, this is MASSIVE for our adoption community. Love what you do. Thank you my friend ❤️
@MindYourOwnKarma Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your support Donna! Yes, it is part parts work. It integrates the best of many modalities to get to the root cause quickly, easily and efficiently. It's truly amazing if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am starting to facilitate adoptees and a adoptive mother now in hopes to give hope to the entire constellation. We all need healing. My compassion for the adoptive communities is massive, and I just want to help in anyway I can. 💕
@itsPanTatesnotPancakes-gp1jf Жыл бұрын
I think your wrong. I think somewhere along the way someone tricked you into thinking you couldn't possibly have a child ......when you did.
@dawndunlap6675 Жыл бұрын
Love this
@MindYourOwnKarma Жыл бұрын
It’s was such a great interview!
@donnamarie1133 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant interview, what a powerful story. Thank you Emma for the reminder to grieve ❤️🙏🏽 Fabulous Melissa👋🏽👋🏽
@MindYourOwnKarma Жыл бұрын
I can't wait to read her second book and have her back on the show. She is amazing!
@healingadoptees Жыл бұрын
Thank you Melissa, Wow watching back is as powerful as the experience itself. This is such an important discussion. I love our vulnerability and courage to share. Its wonderful ❤️ I'm looking forward to seeing and being a part of more 🙏🏽
@MindYourOwnKarma Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for participating! We are all doing important work here in this space. We must keep going to educate the world!
@MindYourOwnKarma Жыл бұрын
We are all in this together! Thank you for always willing to be vulnerable and sharing your experience