My 33 yr. old son has been an alcoholic since he was 17; I dont see an end:( He cant hold a job, apartment, or girlfriend for more than a month. He doesn't live with me because I'm single in an elderly apartment...but worried he will show up! How can I prevent him from showing up? I'm to the point I cant even have him visit:/

What if u as a mom try this but yr addict husband doesn't abide cuz hes an addict himself?

Gosh h and I had no boundaries we let our drug addict son come home for past 10 yrs!! Even after jail rehab ect, its been 15 yrs now. We lost our home now h and I had to move to Sr Apt. And we had to move . Now son is homeless plz help

Good for you boys getting sober! God loves you. Get in a good church . God is the answer

Im hvg anxiety attacks over my 31yo son struggling with addiction!!!! It hurts!!!!!! Im a Mom who has done just that, look to see if my son is breathing, od 5 times in the Home. Now h and I moved son homeless and using. What to do now? Had son visiting does heroin in guest room,

Thank you for this...I am currently getting on Facebook to follow and would like to also start attending zoom meetings.

I’m the ex of a meth addict who’s whole family on his fathers side are addicts & his mother enables him by using meth with him. He follows her around like a gosling & they have this bizarre mother son enmeshment thing going on like they’re a couple. It is the strangest thing I have ever witnessed. She uses his schizo affective disorder as an excuse. I had to cut him loose. He was sober the first time we were together. A completely different person. The second time was a nightmare. He says he wants to leave with me & our friends but we shall see if he can part from his mother this summer…

You guys are in Fort Wayne?

Thank you So much for very helpful advice 🙏❤️

but if you don't have ins. there isn't much out there:/

Thank you so much for this validation. God bless you and all you love.

"If they're mad at you it's probably because you're trying to help them, if they are happy with you it's because you are enabling them" .... This! Wow!

My brother was released from prison after serving 10 years he went in an addicted and came out one. My mom passed a year before he was released and all she wanted was for him to do good. She asked me to please look after him if she ever passed. Mind you I’m his younger sister. Well long story short now he’s out in the street, the addiction took a toll on his mental health. He is a totally different person. All my siblings tell me that enough is enough but I feel so guilty idk how to deal with this. I feel like I let my mom down. I have spent hundreds of dollars on stuff to make him comfortable and he sold all of it. Today I drove him an hour in traffic to a home because his parole officer told him he needed to get treatment. He wasted my time had me bring him back to his hood because he refused to stay. His parole officer told me there is nothing he can do. Idk I’m so lost. I experienced an anxiety attack for the first time today and it really scared me. I think it’s time for me to cut ties, but how do I do that without carrying guilt. Especially if god forbid it he were to pass alone in the street. 😔

I learned the hard way my daughter and her husband on drugs and now I'm in the process of going to court to force treatment they have 4 kids together and he has 2 kids outside of my daughter. I refuse to live with drug addicts period I don't care who you are. I don't do drugs and I'm not gonna keep being subjected to addicts

What about giving them food? My son has access to our refrigerator in the garage area, so I leave sandwiches, yogurt and snacks for him. Is this enabling?

You cannot help someone who does not want help. Until the addict has had a spiritual awakening that opens the mind and heal the soul they will not stop.

I just found this video. I have this friend who has some problems with probably depression, alcohol, cigarettes and maybe even drugs (I know she did it before, but she didn't inform me if it happened again. She just said she wouldn't do it anymore since I seemed to care a lot). I care so much about her. I love her so much, and I feel so incapable of helping her. I can't help but cry every time I think about it. I'm so desperate to just take a fly, grab her hand and take her to therapy, but I know I shouldn't do it, and that it should come from her. I feel very selfish because she rejects most of my advice, but I can't endure watching her destroy herself anymore. She doesn't deserve being so blind and harming herself like that. She is not religious, but I pray for her. In some way, it calms me down. I just want her to recover, to seek help and to be truly happy, not just wait for it to happen if nothing goes wrong (I went through it before and it was like hell. You can't control how things go around you, only how you perceive it). Despite all of this, I find her an amazing person who's trapped in a situation she doesn't even acknowledge is harmful for her. I hope I can somehow influence her in a positive way, not force her or anything. I don't think she has many people attempting, so I'll try a hundred times harder! I know she is strong, I know her. I know she can do it. I hope all she needs is someone to support her and show her how much she matters. If anyone in a similar situation comes across this comment, know that you're not alone trying to support a loved one. You're absolutely brave and a caring soul. You deserve all the happiness just for trying your best for someone else. I pray that this person will also recover and become the best version of themselves as well. <3

Harm reduction never worked in Kensington Philladelphia and it will never work anywhere else. That's just a fact.

If I didn’t have negative experiences with weed and alcohol, I might have been down a bad path. Although I do have pretty good self-control and hold pills in my room for days so that I would have them if I “need” them since I didn’t know if and when my friend would give me more. And psychedelics were almost always positive. The only reason I stopped doing those is because I felt guilty when took something during the day when my toddler was awake, I felt that I was letting the substance take me away from my daughter and it was a struggle the whole time between wanting to be present with my daughter and wanting to use the substance to dive into myself.

Situation: My partners brother is an addict. This brother has been living in my boyfriends house rent free, without any responsibility of paying bills tied to living in his house and he also is paying for his brother's internet for well over 5 years. This addict brother has a wife and 2 children at home. This addict brother has had children's aid (child protective services) called on him due to his cocaine addiction so he is having to go through the process of assessment and therapy with his father's presence once in a while. I've been dating my partner for almost a year now and he's been living at his parents place because he is letting his brother stay at his house to 'recover'. The problem is that the brother has vocalized that he will not quit doing drugs and after all this CA/CPS assessments are over with, he will go back to his old ways. I've been to countless Alanon meeting in the past from my own life and also have been an addict in the past and I see this as clear enabling behavior. I want to be able to 'move forward' with my life with my partner however I feel at the same time, my partner is holding his own life back with this enabling behavior. The grandparents are too old to have to raise young children that this brother has and I don't blame them for not wanting that responsibility. I want to support my partner however, I'm finding it difficult because we are supposed to move in together soon, into a home I just bought but how can he afford to pay me rent when his brother is living rent free in his and my partner is picking up his brothers slack..? I told him he might as well buy him the coke because by not helping his brother to be responsible, he will continue to allow his brother to use him. My partner doesn't want to see the kids be taken away but he needs to understand that out of his control... Any advice?

This is helping n me so much to encourage my daughter to go to pcp when she finishes her 30 day program. So glad I found your channel . Thank you

26.12 so true 💯

Can you be exposed to Fentanyl by meeting for coffee with a user of it?

My daughter ironically told me the truth once when I asked her how much she lies to me. She answered about 85% of the time.

What a story. God never stops leaving the 99 to come after the ONE who He loves and who needs Him the most. Thank you guys for another amazing testimony

No one is unreachable when you have God assisting you to reach out. My son used to claim to be atheist in high school which broke my heart. Planting seeds is IMPERATIVE and praying life and protection for them is so important!

Great points! Tough Love! If the addictive(s) end up in jail let 'them' stay in jail for a few weeks or as long as possible. And hopefully it's during their birthday or special holidays... Accept their calls from jail & tell 'them' you have no money for bail only advice & love to give to 'them.' And if 'they' hang on you while you're on the phone with 'them' while giving 'them' advice. Write them a letter about that Advice Is Free & what 'they' do with it is up to 'them"... Make copies of that letter & give this letter to 'them' over & over again until they decide to change for the good. If you can once 'they' are out of jail give them vitamin B1 for sure. They also need supplements for sleeping like magnesium & D3 (5k units) K2. Get them healthy with great soups & teas! Get them to go for walks, but time the walks & ask them how far they walked. And advice them to try to walk with a faster pace - things like this. Love them, but don't get them a car nor money. They have to work for these things.

glad I put on cc…kept getting hung up on why she named her child Lemon

These recovery facilities charge way too much money for their services. Most people can't even afford them. Plus they know full well that only a small percentage of addicts do not recover their first go around. I think when it comes right down to it, it's not about the drugs, it's about deeper issues that need resolving. I am a mom of a son who did not make it. It was so chaotic and hurtful to all involved. It's been 14 years but sometimes it feels like it just happened. I believe this is because so much is still a mystery. So many unanswered questions. I've just had to learn to live with what happened. I understand the dynamics, but it still brings me to my knees at times. Thank you for your channel. I imagine it's a light to many. It brought me back, but that's okay. My great love for my son is what remains.

Hello Thank you has a mother

My brother has been a “functioning” alcoholic for 20 years with an undiagnosed antisocial disorder. He’s never been sober in that time. He’s 44. And my parents have built a financial support system around him. Like, he rents an apartment my mom owns. So he doesn’t really have to worry about money. My mom is basically an enabler. Thoughts?

I appreciate this pod cast. As a mother so heartbreaking. I am and have been taking care of her daughter. Everyday I am scared that the knock on my door will be the police saying she is gone. She has been to treatment at least 5 times. It’s been 3 years or maybe more. The not taking accountability for her actions makes me think she will never except help.

❤

Thank you guys for your transparency and concern for loved ones in the heat of the battle. I was battling my decision to separate and this confirmed I did what was right for me and helped strengthen my resolve.

I am so glad I found your channel. Thank you ❤

Everything they talked about is real. I love they look at things like I do. The answers & solutions have been laid out for us. There's so much research & evidence (cuz of addicts before us) that it's known what is needed in order to achieve recovery. I have 8½ mos, I'm still in a treatment program & I'm all in for the 1st time in 7 years. I'm making it a point to try EVERYTHING. I am active in AA, I participate in my treatment here, and I try every coping skill presented to me or found by me and I am coming in to a spiritual connection. I wish everyone here will find the way out of the hell we've been living.

I would like to reach out to

DON’T! You’ll exhaust yourself helping someone who doesn’t want help.

My life only changed when everyone stopped trying to help me and when I ended up at the homeless shelter.. how grateful I am for that experience, that God moment that gift of desperation

My dad a veteran, now 79 has been an addict for 20 years. Homeless for like 10. Ive recently thought about managing his pension, saving money to pay for rent since hes elderly but is that a good idea? Homelessness hasnt made him stop. If he were younger i would let him stay homeless but he's now an elderly man. Shouldn't I do something?

I really enjoyed this the best thing that ever happened to me was when my mom left me at the homeless shelter.. you should never get between an alcoholic and their bottom

My nephew, 30 years old, an addict for 10 years, got serious about recovery in the last 6 months. Hes been in and out of treatment centers. After 60 days they move him to sober living then he relapses. What does that mean? Don't know how to help him.

Do you have any resources or places you recommend in St Louis. Metro area. Any help is appreciated. I am an exhausted mom with a 34 year old daughter addicted to Meth.

I need help I can’t lose my son but I don’t know who he is anymore I just had to take his phone and tell him he can’t come back. The stuff that was supposed to help him get off pills is now his drug of choice

I had to sign my son into state custody so he could get into a long term residental facility so they can help him the way I cant. It was the hardest thing to do, but when you know they are going to kill themselves, and there is nothing you can do about it, any option I had I ran down the path. Our son is 16 and drinks heavily, w the percocets. Can anyone talk about when they dont think they have a problem, and when you try to get help or XYZ is going to have to happen. When your child blames you for them getting high, tells you , "you are a f'ing terrible mother to do this to your son" It breaks me to pieces trying to be strong enough to get him to the light at the other end. I am only human myself, but as his mother, If I have any way left, I will do it. Anything to save him. I will not enable him however, but going from setting the boundaries to sticking to them and having to put them in place. It is the absolute hardest thing to do.

It really help me stop blaming myself and it help me stop crying so😢much. Thank you your so much. For shearing. I really try so hard to get my son help but he doesn’t want help.. He even OD . In front of me. One time. And O.D. Orther times in the streets. It’s very painful. It hurts so much. As well as it affects me mentally as well as physically. I had to turn my back on him and close my door. And said no more. I lift it in Gods hands 🙌

Thank you so much for shearing. It really helps me as a 64 year old mother who been dealing with a 34 year old son who is addicted to drugs.

If you aren't an addict or alcoholic, you go to Alanon or Nar-Anon. You learn how to have boundaries and detach with love. Nobody "needs" to do "anything", including recover.

My sons addiction decisions has left him without any ID which does not allow him access to even taking a bus home or away from Harvey street the worst area for addicts in VancouverBC. I am heartbroken every time I think of him stranded and alone. I’m unable to help him because if I do his stepfather will divorce me because I’ve helped so much . Of course the help all went to drugs. This is the heart breaking cry of a mom who was able to have six months of sobriety from drug & alcohol for 6 months. I had my precious adult son back living in our lower level home. He left to see his children, relapsed and is now on the street and on Fentanyl which he tried and is hooked💔❤️‍🩹🥰🙏🙏🙏

Your sharing has been extremely healing ❤️‍🩹.. Keep up the great support.