No contact was my lifesaver and the Lord of course.

I'm confused! What are Matthew's credentials? He wrote a book about how to get a guy and now he is an expert on psychology? I don't get it.

I realized that he was not able to understand the concept of apologizing when I tried to explain him that you apologize when you hurt someones feelings. He told me that he refuses to apologize because it was not his intention to hurt me so it made no sense to him to apologize. I gave him the example that a person would apologize to another person when they accidentally stepped on their foot. He insisted that those things were totally different from each other and could not be compared. Now I know that when you have to explain to someone how to behave respectfully you should reconsider that relationship 🙄

Wow! The ever-expanding Dr. Ramani!

The part about losing her mother and her exes response… I’ve heard these exact same words when I lost my brother. He came into the bathroom where I was on the floor, crying, and told me why are you crying? You never even saw him. tragic the things we have to go through.

I like talk to Rami here. I feel like she would look good with face screaming like a haircut long layers and keep her hair colored. She’s beautiful with the dark or all silver highlight silver

Note that healthy non-narcissistic people can do this kind of sorry-not-sorry apology too, if accused of something they didn’t do

Even NPDs experience a dark night of the soul but when they go into therapy they only hyper focus on the compliments given by the therapist😐

This case was a lie

Finally a true description of the silent treatment for me. Slaying me alive!

I’m my experience with innumerable narcissists, it’s family members who are beat down and tired that are the worst enablers. I’m a fighter. I don’t tire when it comes to manipulators taking advantage of others.

I have loadsa emotions and electricity can't I just give them some 😏😁if only.......🙄🤐🫣😍🙃😆😤😱🤠🙈😍🔥👀👀👀👀👀😴💪🏻❤️🥰✌🏻

Yeah. They push others into therapy. Lived it. It's why I cannot forgive her.

Watching this short after receiving a "sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, please forgive me" via a gif message ! To which I foolishly replied thank you 🙄 The response? "You're welcome" So grateful though for the reminder about the inauthentic narcissistic apology.

Tantrums are literally the first attempt which includes, silent treatment, smearing, gaslighting. They call their flying monkeys at the earliest. Then when that doesnt work, the lovebombing, gifting things which you dont need or needed years back! Suddenyl they become good to people from your side of the family who they didnt want to visit or meet! The smearing is so good because they look and talk so innocently and kindly.

I believe her. I believe her story. And I believe that "man in Vegas" was made up by Terry to help Ingrid feel validated. It doesn't change anything to the fact that I believe Ingrid story.

I am a long time member of Alcoholic Anonymous and many people in the program are in the cult of AA. The program is not supposed to be that and everything is a suggestion. However, there are some who do not practice the program as a cult. I am one of those people who do not practice the program in a cult-like fashion.

Another one is “what do you want me to say?”

Narcs don't apologize, and I have never heard them say " I am sorry you feel that way" they simply never use the word sorry in any context period.

They are never wrong. It's every one's else's fault. You are always the bad guy. No accountability for their actions and abuse. No one is immune from their sick mind. Not even their pets.

We just stayed silent as a kid with mum naughty step older brother awful walking on eggs shells is it gonna pipe up scare us etc cries 😢😢😢😢😢 not nice at all

I've been extremely close to breaking my silence. It's been over 2 months, with no contact. I've received info on her smear campaign accusing me of stalking and going to the police. I've heard nothing from the police but I'm so angry with the BS. It's dangerous. It's defamation of character and has the potential to ruin future relationships, I.e its documented with the police. If the new partner is also narcissistic and also lies to the police It's damaging. Evil horrid people

The ABSOLUTE WORST THING for a narcissist is total INDIFFERENCE.....( gets them EVERY TIME....!!!)😊

My ex used to like to " stir the pot".... He got " off" on it....😮

Make this clear, anyone who don't care about the consequences and repercussions, they can pull it through. But to a certain limit ans time frame. , Everything will be exposed end of the day.

Well said Dr Ramani I will be crusading with you After two divorces, following 25 years and 17 years of marriage, and many years of therapy and following such coaching sessions online, I am starting to understand what a red flag means and how I should have tried to react at that time, with no guarantee to have succeeded at that time, neither at 30, nor at 55, with years of medical practice behind me. Blaming people for having ignored red flags is an unfair source of guilt mongering. It is not sufficient to identify flags if we don’t learn how to deal with them. change them and maintain them. Running away is not the correct attitude. Life is not merely a matter of choice, recognising and selecting the right flag, but also of insight, communication and growth. My present taking is that successful family making and society building which are the true goals of dating, need a systematic mediation approach without waiting to meet irreversible situations. Providing such family support will definitely prove to be cost effective by reducing the wear and tear that is dislocating our sociétés.

It’s kind of sad how many therapists won’t recognize this. Countless times I’ve been to therapy where the therapist could not/would not see that my mother was abusive to me. The problem is, when you’re a kid, you don’t know what to say. I was afraid of saying too much to the therapist in front of my mother for how things would play out later. It’s kind of ridiculous to me that as a therapist, when you see a teenager who has a bunch of mental health issues and says they don’t believe their mother cares about them, your instinct is to assume they are just being an angsty teen and not even consider that person is being abused. As a kid, I didn’t have the words to express how I was being treated, and the therapists I encountered certainly didn’t help me find my voice. And of course, since my mother took me to therapy, she was automatically seen as a good mother in their eyes. Therapy can be incredibly helpful to some people, but with a bad therapist, it can make a situation much worse. When you’re already being gaslit by your parent and then a therapist does the same, it is very damaging to the child.

File for divorce

How do i divorce with a narcissist that is on disability?

I’ve been consuming all your content, my problem is that I have gone no contact 3 times with my ex of 3 years (and on and off insecure 3 years story), and 2 out of 3 times I’m the one who broke the no contact because I felt such an unbearable feeling of loss and desperation. I would like a dedicated long video about this phenomenon and some practical things we can do to stay no contact and to get through the pain without reacting. I know there are a lot of us going through this. Thank you 🙏🏻

It's true what you say because I was a good person and that person changed me a lot that I no longer knew that I was recognized that that person has no limits to break hearts

real

"I'm sorry you feel that way" will NEVER come out of a true narcissist's mouth ! Cos a) they are not sorry about anything, b) they are not aware of other people's feelings & c) they don't care about anybody's feelings but their own...

He text another woman 67 years old could be his mother… good morning gorgeous and completely blended on me and has ghosted me for 40+ days. And now is saying that I’m horrible that I’m a horrible human in the community will tell you different that I am actually the opposite. I’m glad I’m going to therapy and my eyes are finally getting opened to a lot of things. Now he is my husband and he left me 11 months before our first year anniversary over this text that was my fault. 😢 I can’t believe this is real life? Now I’m seeing actually three therapist. They’re very uncomfortable with him, leaving without reassuring me that there is no affair. Instead, his exact think what you want, I didn’t cheat think what you want.

So true!!! I think in a 12 years that I’ve known him he’s really never apologized a real apology. It’s always been. I’m sorry you feel that way or that’s your thing.

He twisted my hand and when I shout and got angry, then he got angry and saud you don't get the joke?!

My wife has cptsd and ndp. She has said she wanted a divorce, but she has been doing no contact. What should I do to move forward with my life?.. we're also long-distance. She lives in Taiwan, and I am in Los Angeles.

Silent treatment used to drive me up the wall.now i do the same,and got used to it. This sometimes lasts for weeks or months on end.

They store information to use as ammo when they want to. Mine did the same

Narcissists are basically adult toddlers

At 47:05 into this video, Dr Ramani, you said something about still loving the narc one has gone no contact with shows one is still a person who has the capacity to love, and that one doesn’t want to lose this part of self. Dr Ramani, I DO NOT still love the narcissistic abuser who is my ex. He was emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive to me. I would like your answer on this question: If I no longer love the narc abuser ex, am I a person lacking ability to love??

I would respond with “ I appreciate you apologizing and taking responsibility but changed behavior trumps words” Even though they’re not taking responsibility you can use this to keep them accountable for the future if there is a future but also use these words to let them know down the line (behavior hasn’t changed, I’m out) then you did yourself of guilt. I remember feeling guilty for leaving situations because I would second guess myself if I was in the wrong.

I am DARVO proof now! Too smart and wised up thanks to channels like this so a big thank you.

Mine does that to me. I am the one who has to go for therapy and he shows the world that iam sick.

Oh wow- im learning but this is a new one

Her family have treated her so cruelly, that's so bad! Her younger sister saying that she would ruin things with her book. I felt for her so bad with that 😯

When you're working through things and those closest to you minimise or completely invalidate your experiences, that's for me worse than the original issue. They're then complicit in the abuse. Worse if they were there originally, it's a second denial! Or if it's the abuser themselves. It's a deeper opening of wounds, just when you're seeking solace. No matter what abuse they went through, I cannot understand or forgive that and it fractures the relationship irrevocably because it's the one time you're giving them the opportunity to be there for you a second time and they throw it in your face in favour of protecting themselves yet again ✌

They don't remember. Long term memory loss has a term

Cruelty leads the victims while the narcissist free to harm others.

I would try to step away, he would follow me.