you mention it's distinct from "dependence", but there's nothing wrong with dependence to begin with. Our society fetishizes independence too much, nobody is really independent and interdependence has always been the way all humans live, not independence.

We & us? Speak for yourself. This is not how I experience autism. At all.

I am 66 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD late in life. I used to drive my mother mad because of hyperactivity, but in the presence of strangers, I used to become still. None of us were socialised because both parents worked, and I hardly saw my mother until the age of 6 when she got pregnant for the third and last time. Then she stopped working so my little sister didn't suffer the absence like my sister and I. I wanted to break out of isolation, so I thought I was learning to sicialise. But I used to go off line from time to time, especially if a pattern changed. I was generally a good student except during these strange off line periods when I became unable to learn anything and suddenly my grades would dive for apparently no reason at all. That made me feel scared. I also had periods getting oversensitive when I would suddenly develop sensitive skin or sense of smell. Then I was sent to boarding school where after a period of quick adjustment I became restless and finally escaped. My family never understood me and always thought that I was lying or pretending. That strange suspicious by my mother was picked up by my sister whom I really loved. Even though I did everything for her, she would never trust me. It has been a strange and confusing life. I started suffering from bouts of depression in my late teens until I had a severe breakdown after a surgery went wrong and I developed a bad infection that made me so weak that I used to break into sweat just standing up to open the door. It was a long time before I was diagnosed with borderline Asperger's and ADHD but even then my family didn't believe it because it had become a harmless habbit not trusting me for them while I kept asking for understanding. Before that I was given ECT because I had developed a resistant depression that again went wrong when I developed post anesthetic palpitation and the nurse forced me to have a very large dose of venleefaxine. When I called for a doctor no one came. So, I crawled out of the room and saw that the ward was empty and even the lights had been turned off. I couldn't move. So I collapsed in the corridor hoping someone would pass by. I tried to control my breathing and I don't know if that helped but after what seemed ages the palpitation stopped. I left the hospital. I was worried that it might return. So, I went to my mother's house. The next day I went to hospital and reported it. They took an ECG, and after examination, I was asked to leave the hospital. I went home and tried to call my doctor in hospital but was told that no such person worked there. So, I went to my GP, who told me that I had a heart murmur. At the time I didn't understand the significance and my GP said that I might need aortic valve replaced at some stage when I got old. I didn't realise that by older he meant within four years time when it got so bad that I had to have an open heart surgery. But that wasn't even half of it. In the end I paid to have a VNS implant when it first came out but it didn't help until I stopped taking Olanzapine that was prescribed for me that turned me into a zombie. My wife left me and I didn't seem to be able to stay with anyone and in the end I gave up. It was only then that I started reading everything that I managed to put all the strange events together and make sense of it but on the way I lost everything and everyone. My daughter is not interested, neither are my siblings. I have a dog that I am waiting for to die before I join him since he has been the only thing that I felt love from. 1:36

Thank you all!

In the general context of the debate about neurodiversity and depression, especially as someone who is considering suicide/euthanasia this is an important video. I've added this to my autism playlist. Thank you.

Excellent presentation. Thank you!

The music in this makes me anxious lol

Simon Baron-Cohen: ‘The treatment of autistic people is a scandal on the scale of infected blood’

Brilliant video, thank you so much!

Excellent summary of recent research into ARFID

This world does not understand us and what we go through. Just to slightly fit in. Police hate me. But I'm strong and good. I give kids toys and make them happy. I get old toys from opp shops and clean them and give them to kids. this helps me feel good. In a world where we just don't fit.

This is my main area of inquiry; social and community connection & belonging. A very helpful discussion of. However a very significant variable is missing entirely here. That is what is known as 'Thin Slicing'. You simply cannot really understand how non-Autistic and Autistic connection (the issues about) without factoring in Thin Slicing. Which I think is a much more powerful variable than say the 'double empathy' problem. The problem is also not centrally a one way or bi-directional empathy problem. One can somewhat modify relational and social Empathy, but Thin Slicing is not centrally driven by a 'lack of empathy'. There is not enough research as yet as to exactly what it is about Autistic people that triggers Thin Slicing in a more negative direction for Autistic people. Also if we talk about 'Autistic or Autism acceptance' what progress can be made here if Thin Slicing is not accounted for? And currently it is seen as very hard to easily change. I have tried to get more talking about this with the people above, and in many places, were we might come together and discuss implicit bias (Thin Slicing) phenomena. But with not much luck as yet. I think this is because research into the Thin Slicing is not that strong yet, Especially how to, or if possible, how we can modify Thin Slicing in relation to Autistic people / the Autistic Community (effects on, and the negative impacts on Autistic people both personally, socially, in employment, etc.). Otherwise, this is a really good and important discussion, but one that needs way more a shared inquiry into. I would add it is true that the desire and motivation to 'connect and belong' regarding Autistic people is not significantly different than say how other 'same tribe' neurotypes seek out and are 'wired' for relational and pro-social connection and belonging. However this 'universal' assumption also needs further exploration about what factors and variables influence what motivates, and or inhibits, how Autistic people may (differently) seek connection and belonging with both non-autistic others, but also, just as critically, with and between Autistic people. For example, how much does the Thin Slicing factor express itself and influence Autistic to Autistic relatedness (outcomes of) and how well Autistic people may accept, bond, and seek a sense of belonginess with other autistic people. (There is no robust research on this latter point as yet).

I was diagnosed last week with autism, I have obviously ‘fallen through the cracks’ as it were. My first diagnosis of mental health conditions was depression at 14, and generalised anxiety disorder at 22. In talking therapy for depression when I was 14, the therapist asked me how I felt. All I could say was ‘I don’t know’ because I couldn’t identify emotions. She didn’t ask anything else, so I sat in silence for three sessions just staring at the table shrugging at her. I’ve had CBT three times for anxiety which is the only thing I’m offered on the NHS. Every time I have done it I have been asked to expose myself to things that cause my anxiety such as crowds, and loud noises (once was told to go and stand directly under the railway bridge by the therapist because I was afraid of going under it). I realised a lot later that these things never worked because they actually cause me discomfort and sometimes actual pain because they are sensory issues. All that time I was confusing sensory overload with panic attacks and I didn’t understand why forcing myself into those situations wasn’t helping because that was supposed to work and it’s not like I had any other options on the NHS either.

Current MH offers are no good for autistics CBT and mindfulness simply infantilising,blames, gaslights and distracts us I’m likely adhd but I’m autism diagnosed. Fact is we get bullied lifelong, scapegoated and disliked in the work place. I have worked and served. I was diagnosed aged 52 I’m 54 I cannot see myself working . The government welfare policy is to invalidate us, force us in wrong irregular zero hours contracts or work that isn’t suitable for my physical disabilities

Employment... Gig economy and disposableness and ultra competition and instability in job made me .... Yeah ...

This is how i see the world, but no autism idk

You got a subscriber

So mean that you would put her video over some of the words in that corner!

This was a really helpful video. I showed it to our primary teachers to better understand ADHD. It would be great to have something similar for Autism.

We have to ask: Who does suicide effect most - the person who committed the act or those who knew the person? When they are dead they are gone. We cant approach suicide from a preventative perspective only for the sake of their loved ones. This has to be entirely about the sufferer. Secondly - are we keeping them alive for being alives sake? Its hardly fair to drag out someones pain without any clear sight of them having a life worth pursuing. A life of cope and management of ones constant pain is not a life at all. Just putting in the breaths and heartbeats till ones end makes no sense. The conversation needs to start taking very hard turns as the moral case of sustaining a life for its own sake and nothing else is not going away and ones threshold for pain is finite.

Let me make it very clear. It's WOMEN who go through menopause. Not men or boys. I'm level 2 Austistic woman going through menopause and it ANGERS me that you're trying to bring "other genders" What OTHER gender that has menopause FFS!!! Call it for what it is FHS! If you have overies, and you're going through menopause, you are a WOMAN!

Really helpful video as I am out now seeking therapy for social anxiety while dealing with autism. In the past nothing has helped at all and I have specifically noted CBT in particular has only hurt me more. They seem to tell me my reality isn't real. For example, I know unfortunately that adults do still get bullied, sometimes by total strangers, sometimes by family or coworkers or people you'd have thought were friends. It's just a lot to navigate being told it's not real while it's your experience.

This video is underrated

Here's a comment I wrote about this topic under another channel's video. I had a relationship with a person who didnt realise he was autistic. I have a hatred of lying, so it was quite devastating to find out he was not what he had pretended to be. I learned what masking was through him. Unfortunately, I would call masking lying, dishonesty, deceitfulness and a lack of integrity. The word disingenuous just popped into my head, as you said how you want to be more authentic in future. So no, its not a good thing at all. Whom I thought was my soulmate, who thought just like I did, turned out to be a fake. A fraud. Now I cant trust anything he says. I have to remind myself that what I see outwardly and what he says may actually be the opposite of whats actually going on inside his head. Its a shattering thing.

every time I see a video like this, I start to tear up, because I recently found out why I see the world different than most people

Thank you immensely for this deep dive

My son is a teenager and he can’t talk this video is very touching

I'm not sure how this is dramatically different from the rest of the human condition. We know that people who feel they are unable to be themselves suffer for it, whether it's due to autism or other 'less socially desirable' characteristics. I would imagine most women, ethnic minorities, LGBT etc., people with trauma histories, people of lower socio-economic status and more are engaging in 'masking' in particular environments for their safety, to protect social status or to secure resources. I'm sorry but I do not follow how this is magically more unique of an experience because it also happens to Autistic people. I'm getting a little fed up with this research trend of adding Autism (and now other NDCs) in front of well-known emotional and behavioural phenomena and pretending that it's new or significantly different - it's distracting and divisive.

After 20 secounds i have to take a break ...

Thats anxiety not autism :/

I would be willing to participate in research. I am autistic and peri-menopause symptoms have ruined the last 2 years of my life.

❤❤

I found this while looking for sensory processing disorder and menopause.

thank you for sharing

Useful. Mental health services can often not work for Autistic people. For example, depression in Autistic people may be the end symptom of terrible discrimination, severe loneliness, adverse childhood experiences and other trauma states including Alexithymia. Psychotherapists and many other allied health care professions have not undertaken any serious Autism training suitable for their role and of course accessible and acceptable (and hop0efully useful) for Autistic Community members. Also you need more resilient communities and connected community, rather than just treating individuals who experience (as an end result of) community neglect and marginality. Finally the idea of 'adapting' therapies to 'better suit' Autistic people (that approach) has a poor evidence base. Also so called sensory sensitivities are not core to Autism. In fact sensory disturbances are a separate condition. Unless you realize this you just conclude that sensory issues are part of Autism when they are not.

2:34 this guy sounds like salad fingers lol

Great point about cbt feeling like aba

Yes

😮

I was so excited to hear Fern Brady voice! I’m learning to manage my anxiety and autism

Stuff not available in the US.

mental heath service wont help me at all, there is no where left to try and no one to talk to.

Fern! ❤

Sorry, but what was that popping sound at the beginning if your video? It was very loud and disturbing. Could you please remove it from the video? I think a lot of people sensitive to sounds would be grateful for that.

Yesterday I was at a Five Below with my dad and my sister looking for a birthday present. The music was too loud and between that, the bright lighting, too many things in the store in general and different conversations, I ended up having a sensory overload so, yeah, just wanted to share. Have a great day:afternoon/night!

1.2k like. Very nice video I don't have autism but I struggle with social anxiety and its nice to hear it being explained properly.

Really good, but a bit short imo

Autism is often overlooked in females, especially with ptsd /c-ptsd. Wrongly labeled as personality disordered and retraumatized in therapeutic relationships, labeled as 'overly sensitive', 'projection' etc. Research on how many undiagnosed neurodivergents are among traumatized adults is needed, as well as education of so-called professionals who still think autistics never have theory or mind or empathy or always are alexithymic etc.