Funny and clever

Mine were a blessing i didn't know i needed.

I'm half adopted (my step-mom adopted us) and it's so beautiful to have someone choose to love you like that ❤

Come to Norway please 😊

Since there have been rumours of an Oblivion Remaster from Bethesda, I wonder how the fan-made Skyblivion is going to fair against it.

Excelent

When my mom used to be teased for being adopted this is what she would say 😂😂 “my parents CHOSE to have me”

My life was saved by a very generous kidney donor. It's one of those rare donations where your contribution can make a real difference in someone's life. I think we should have an "opt out" system vs the "opt in" system we currently have. Donate!

Adopting is like shopping at a thrift store. The merchandise was donated but you still have to pay for it.

"see ya at Thanksgiving!" 👋

There needs to be a socially acceptable phrase where we can ask our people what they know about us. Might be weird to ask someone to describe you though lol

It’s dumb

I gained like 45 pounds on birth control and I haven’t been able to lose that weight for 7 years. Unfortunately I can’t stop taking it either or else I would literally have iron deficiency from how heavy my periods would be. I literally could go through one of those purple pads in 2 hours. Now it’s heaven I can stick with 1 tampon for 8 hours and be chillin.

Never heard of Jay Jurden, but need to find out more asap. He is hilarious!!!!

If you don't have trust issues now, you will later.

Taylor: You can't shake their hand; there's a no-touching policy. ;)

Ok that was witty as hell too. You are AMAZING! Thank god you get to do this for us.

I love every word you say, but I think that’s the wittiest thing you ever said. (But only us nerds got it. 😂)

No Philly dates 😢

Technically 100% of the adopted were an accident first. By the way, I'm adopted

It kind of like ends the game

"It's either cancer or the devil" PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF ANXIETY THANK YOU

My step mom was mom when she married my dad, I was 4, and my bio mom was NOT a mom, so 😭 I get it

What is the blocked out but I’m so confused 😭

Why was i thinking she'd say Micheal Jackson when she paused ? I watch too much Taylor

"a mood ring" KILLED ME

I was half expecting him to say nana, or Michael Jackson

😆

I was conceived biologically, but by god, I was not an accident!!! My parents (especially my mother) had craaaazy bad infertility issues. My dad has a low count, and my mom had PCOS and endometriosis. Plus she got ovarian cancer from contracting HPV from my dad (he was a serial cheater, but she stayed with him anyway). My mom did all kinds of fertility treatments and surgery for this stuff (plus they got rid of the cancer, thankfully). But my mom still had two miscarriages. I was the only fetus out of 3 pregnancies to survive. It was as if God was trying really hard to send the message that they were not meant to be parents. But by some stroke of luck, I came to exist. And even after all that effort, they were STILL crappy abusive parents!!! Make it make sense!!!

"... Kill God, right?" Someone's read Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials, lol 🤣👌🏿

well I mean......if you were put up for adoption you were a little bit of a "whoopsie".......But you were not a FUCKING ACCIDENT.......and that is all that matters 😊

My new principals name is Lisa

LMAOOOOO

This gives the same energy as a kid who doesn’t understand “grown up talk”😂

J

Oh my God no kid was that change.

My mom was hoping I was just a flu lmao

Reminds me of the tv show "Crazy Ex Girlfriend".

I would bring my mom to this

Toronto is sold out tf

- F Father because baller power play - M Son because actually some actual redeeming qualities as a person - K Holy Spirit because _privacy and space,_ dude

OMG seeing your show this Saturday in Toronto.....so, excited!!!!

When my dad was a kid, they had a neighbor who had a wife, who died in childbirth, then remarried and his second wife also died in childbirth. Both women gave him 12 children, so he had a grand total of 24 kids. My grandfather called him 'father of our country.'

My sister one of those kids,she can’t dance at all except tik tok dances

I love when those tweens be like, “I hate you!” My reply is always, “I hate me too!” 😂 They never know how to react.

I have done that with about my dead dad lol

I *know* I was an accident because my parents had been married all of a month and a half before a positive test. My mom was a waitress halfway across the country with no family near her; my dad was a private and they lived in a shitty studio apartment. I was NOT planned.

Women actually have a lower pain tolerance than men

Taylor is the current master of crowd work. Just phenomenal.

Pov: you take her shirt off but there's a fucking captcha strapped to her back