I can't understand why your beautiful and mindfilul contents don't have the real attention! Thanks a lot for sharing❤
@adversityrising5 күн бұрын
You are very welcome and thank you so much for your support of my channel/work!
@wellingtonsboots40745 күн бұрын
Thanks for this reminder.
@MerlepopFenna7 күн бұрын
Thank you, I have listened to a couple of your videos and I always feel you really have a deep understanding of what you are talking about. I always take away something. This time it’s the bring shame out in the open. I think I already did that sometimes but knowing it is actually helpful I will do it more often now! Thanks for you great content! ❤
@adversityrising6 күн бұрын
You are more than welcome -- I think finding other voices that can help us increase our insight and skillset is so important so I am grateful to know this has had a positive impact on you and your shame resilience journey.
@addictedtotemplates7 күн бұрын
I really agree with you, Kyria! I never thought of this before but we have limited resources and so make sure that we make most of it. I have little regret for it :)
@adversityrising7 күн бұрын
It's weird how sometimes a simple reframe of something we already "know" can help us see it differently. I still lose track of the idea a lot especially when my shame kicks up but I try to keep anchoring on the limits in what we have and w hat is important and I cant lose my time to the fears that I will disappoint other people when I know I am just trying to be a good person who also shows up for herself.
@CoachSteveJandS7 күн бұрын
They (anyone else I interact with)are not all mind readers who already know??;😮😮🎉 ❤😅
@adversityrising7 күн бұрын
But wow does our shame brain try and convince us otherwise. I try and remind myself of this regularly when I find I am not asserting myself or feeling like "how do they not know"
@Armstrong17817 күн бұрын
1:50 "Time and energy are our most coveted resources" wish my brain took it heart
@adversityrising7 күн бұрын
I have to tell myself this everyday and it can still get lost in translation. At least for me, the biggest factor fighting against it is my shame and this idea that I owe my time and energy to others as opposed to taking care of myself. I don't want to be perceived as mean or uncaring but in not showing up for myself I am both mean to myself and over time/inadvertantly to others because I end up resenting them for not setting the boundaries I needed in the first place.
@suekelly37448 күн бұрын
how do you make such nuanced concepts so easy & digestible- it’s a gift. Thanks ❤
@adversityrising7 күн бұрын
Thank you so much for your kind words!
@Armstrong178110 күн бұрын
Thanks It does put my WHOLE 'go and do everything at 100%' life in perspective We often forget what are fighting for
@adversityrising10 күн бұрын
It's such an important perspective shift that gives me more grace and compassion not just for others but myself too. My current goal is to learn to function at 80% until it becomes my new 100 because I have accepted that 100% as it stands in my brain now is unhealthy and all driven by shame.
@user-cc6cx6km4f13 күн бұрын
What if you have kids
@adversityrising13 күн бұрын
It's one of the hardest roles to take on when it comes to time. The reality is that whether we have kids or not, we all feel like our time is pulled in a million directions and there will never be enough time to feel like we can get everything done. That is not a bad thing. That is just a neutral fact. We are always having to make choices about how we show up, what we do and the way we live our lives. Kids are an added layer to that as we are in a position we feel like our time becomes someone else's. Its totally normal to feel the time pressure and the key is to not let our storyline be that we are constantly behind or that we don't have time for "X" or "Y". There will always be moments the reality is, time is a limited factor, we had to make a choice and there wasn't time enough to do it all. But we also can't let time be the excuse or avoidance strategy for doing the things we want and need to do for ourselves.
@SAWheelz1413 күн бұрын
I don't have time to watch this video
@suekelly374413 күн бұрын
So true yet so hard to admit to yourself-thanks!
@insight_juice20 күн бұрын
I'm so grateful I found this video. This is a video I will certainly be rewatching. Thank you for taking the time to create and post this video. ❤
@adversityrising20 күн бұрын
I am so glad you found something helpful in your journey! This is one of the hardest and yet most important principles and skills for shame resilience and even as a therapist with over 10 years of work into my own journey, I still have to come back time and time again to reecenter myself on this practice.
@amandajephson996427 күн бұрын
Thank you for this video. It was extremely clear and very helpful!
@adversityrising27 күн бұрын
Im so glad you found it helpful! This is something I have had to work very hard at keeping separate in my mind as a means of continuing to pen dialogue with others, come from a place of responding and not reacting or assuming and build connection rather than resentment.
@amandajephson996427 күн бұрын
@@adversityrising Yes! Exactly. Phew your video is helping me do the same in understanding misunderstandings!
@normavaldivieso331228 күн бұрын
You are so on point I love your videos, thank you so much for your help ❤ where are you ? Do you work as a Counselor /family therapist ?
@adversityrising28 күн бұрын
Thank you so much! I am so glad you find this resonating with you. One of my goals is to create accessible content via KZbin and my podcast, Untethering Shame, to support people in their shame-resilient work. I am a licensed therapist, but I work primarily in the coaching realm now focused on different program offerings and individual coaching, primarily in the online sector. Here is a link to my podcast if you want to check it out: open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=c57d8daa3bdd4cd2
@normavaldivieso331228 күн бұрын
@@adversityrising I will check it out! Thank you !
@lightinthedarkness694929 күн бұрын
True, we need to learn from it, forgive, move on, and commit to doing better. It's so hard for most of us.
@adversityrising28 күн бұрын
It is - it's like we think holding on to all of our "wrong doings" and missteps is the only ay to hold ourselves accountable or "be better" but all it does is keep us trapped in believing what our shame brain tells us and makes it hard to see that we can evolve and become stronger versions of ourselves.
@Tim_G_Bennett29 күн бұрын
I have to do it all or as much as I can anyway because there's no one to help, I'm in my mid 40's and have been alone all my adult life. Well that's it really.
@adversityrising26 күн бұрын
Gosh that sounds like a lot! I think the biggest thing when we think about not doing it all is being okay when you have to take a break or when you need to step away from a task, invitation or relationship because you just can't take everything on. You have been tasked with a lot being responsible for yourself in that capacity and there is likely baggage you carry and pressures you have internalized to be and do and act "X" which you are allowed to let go of. Keep taking each day a step at a time and remind yourself that it is okay to be exactly who you are without feeling like you have to do or be more to be worthy.
@wmd4029 күн бұрын
thanks ❤ that's actually helpful
@adversityrising29 күн бұрын
Glad it resonated with you!
@DimamoksitАй бұрын
I don't know what progress is, I don't want anything that exists here.
@Tengu2k10Ай бұрын
thanks, sincerely. this helped a lot.
@adversityrising28 күн бұрын
I'm so glad!
@davidkendal1361Ай бұрын
Negitive self talk...
@INDOMINIONАй бұрын
This was amazing. I am one of those all or nothing people. I'm learning to let go
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
Thank you! Ugh, me too. It's definitely gotten easier to challenge that thinking but my brain still really likes to try and take me there.
@INDOMINIONАй бұрын
@adversityrising We are passengers to the subconscious but we can grab the wheel sometimes ❤️
@ertza3011Ай бұрын
such a great video! having this pop up in my recommended feels like striking gold :))
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
I'm so glad you found it and hope this and other videos I have on here can be a support to you in your shame resilience journey!
@apekshaphadte4443Ай бұрын
👍
@LinuxBased_EskimoАй бұрын
Thanks for your videos! I'm recently started to deal with my bpd diagnosis. Looking for any suggestions to practice dbt. Please let me know if you have other videos .thx
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
That can be really hard and filled with a lot of different routes of insight building, emotional validation & processing and ultimately healing. I have a lot of different videos that can help you practice DBT skills for regulation but I think sometimes learning more about shame and the ways it can lead us to be reactive, where it comes from and the impact it has on how we view the world can be helpful. I would suggest starting with these videos: - kzbin.info/www/bejne/raWvaoRtmMtgrJI&t - kzbin.info/www/bejne/bZvLfWeoabWgi9U - kzbin.info/www/bejne/kIKVZqCLhMZnl9E You could also look at the full playlist "Addressing Shame" which includes these and other videos: kzbin.info/aero/PLOd-uDZRqnOEPo2RX5g0oPEVKUiWSrten
@jamiemahoney7766Ай бұрын
Excellent! I agree with everything you said and try my best to live by these words each day! I constantly strive for openness, honesty, and transparency! It truly is the way to rise through adversity and to reach wholeness through integration!!!! Major kudos!!!
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words and am grateful for people like you who are so committed to living a life that creates those impactful ripples.
@alexchatani6232Ай бұрын
So, when are you going to talk about homosexuality as a way we were created as sexual beings?
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
I'd love to hear more about your idea and what you want me to talk about on a future episode! So much of where the conversation goes is based on who the guest is and where their expertise and intersecting identities lie so when I know what people are looking for, I can absolutely seek out guests who are a good fit for the topic!
@BeautyNeedsAWitnessАй бұрын
❤❤
@sele8235Ай бұрын
Great video!
@CoachSteveJandSАй бұрын
"my trauma can beat up your trauma!!". Lol not a helpful mindset to hold....
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
No, def not but it is so easy to get stuck there when it feels like your identity becomes about your trauma. Your brain is just trying to find a way to have validity in the world and has lost sight of how hurtful it is to enmesh the self with the trauma because it feels like it is all that part of your brain knows.
@CoachSteveJandSАй бұрын
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it comes together soon for you 🙏🏼
@CoachSteveJandSАй бұрын
There's a good book from the 80s from Melody Beatty on this topic 🎉
@CoachSteveJandSАй бұрын
❤❤
@BeautyNeedsAWitnessАй бұрын
I've heard it said " what you fear you attract, and what you look at disappears" AKA " where focus goes, energy flows"
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
I love that way of putting it --> where your focus goes, energy flows. This is true for so much of our lives -- fear, shame, resentment...and why it is important we develop the notion that we have the power to change our focus. We can't always change our thoughts, but we can change our relationship with them.
@boldishАй бұрын
I'm barely halfway through the video but I feel your words piercing through me. I'm in my mid twenties and 10 months ago I felt a shift in my soul when I left an abusive work environment. I've been asking myself many questions and reflecting on the reasons why I've struggled to accept many situations in my life. I've struggled to accept growing up without a father. Struggled to accept my mother's absence nearly my entire pre-adult life. Not accepting my abandonment issues and the consequences that has had in my choices of relationships. I've clung onto relationships and friendships because I resisted accepting that the people involved didn't 'prioritize me' as I expected them to. Struggling to accept that I was rejected from a career I worked so hard for and made many sacrifices for. That I faced workplace harassment due to my gender and biases that I can't control. Falling into deep depression, suicidal thoughts and loss of meaning from feeling helpless. Now I seek to find acceptance and healing. Thank you ❤
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
What a powerful reflection! It is so hard to navigate all of those dynamics and the underplay of shame, loneliness and insecure attachment styles that come from all of those early dynamics in life. It sounds like a lot of the pain is tied into this belief at least part of your brain has that you are allowed or moreover, deserve to be treated like garbage even though there is a piece of you that can see you deserve better. It's an acceptance or a tolerance of what you assume is the best to hope for. And that is hard to break. We can tolerate being treated so poorly and even feel that sense of righteous anger but somehow get stuck there. It sounds like you are doing the work to get started in all of this. Remind yourself, change takes time. You are not broken and you will walk through this. You just have to take it 1% at a time. You might find some of the episodes on my podcast, Untethering Shame, helpful including the episode that is set to be released tomorrow on shame & healing our inner child. You can check out the podcast here: open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42?si=bc67ae6d8dca4d65
@huubdrumsАй бұрын
Thank you Kyira! Great video 😊
@sunset33533Ай бұрын
I had to learn to stop obsessing about being liked and validated. There were books like the one called 30 Days to Stop Obsessing by Harper Daniels, and the Tao Te Ching, which helped me a lot.
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing those resources. And what a powerful step to take. Making the shift from external to internal validation and approval is such an important part of the work albeit one of the most difficult things to take on.
@davidgadafАй бұрын
❤
@sanekabcАй бұрын
What do you mean when you say the thought is just a thought?
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
Great question -- thoughts and beliefs are two distinctly different concepts. Thoughts are just fleeting ideas or pieces of information. We can react emotionally to them, but they come and go and can be all over the place. We have on average 10's of thousands of thoughts in a day and they simply come and go. The other key piece is that we cannot control our thoughts. Beliefs on the other hand are thoughts we latch on to or that take root. They become tethered to our deeper thoughts, convictions and in turn, actions. You can have a thought you are stupid, dumb or less than and be upset by it but move on. But if you believe you are stupid, dumb, or less than, then it will have a much bigger impact on how you show up and live your life.
@MyLifeAsBrandonАй бұрын
“We are not the central character in everyone else’s story.” I can’t explain how hard that hit me and sent me into tears. Radical acceptance is something I have STRUGGLED with do so long now being bipolar. I want to scream and shout at times but how does that help me when there are situations out of my control. My boyfriend broke up with me and has no contact. How do I control that? How do I sit there and truly understand the fact he may never come back? I hold onto hope on every single situation because I wish I could control every situation to work out for the better. 😢 God I need a DBT therapist because this whole video just… tore me apart. 💔
@adversityrisingАй бұрын
It sounds like this was a heavy experience for you to sit and really reflect with this video. AND it sounds like that reflection was really powerful for you to begin to think about next steps in terms of your work. It is never easy to realize how much of our suffering, wants and even success is out of our control especially when we haven't had the opportunity to really root within ourselves in a meaningful way. It says so much you are allowing yourself to reflect on this and begin to see where those lines of healing and internal boundaries need space to be processed and to develop. Keep taking in the information in bite sized chunk and allow yourself to sit in and reflect on what is coming up for you in each moment. And then find someone you trust to help take you from this state of awareness and reflection to healing.
@coachjimmy25482 ай бұрын
What if your loved ones have a problem and you so badly want to change their situation.am supposed to just sit back and watch them struggling.i feel like even if I'll be ok,I won't be
@adversityrising2 ай бұрын
That's one of the hardest things in the world - to see your loved ones hurting or stuck and not being able to get them out. We just want what's best. And, one of the hardest realities is that we can never be the hardest working person for someone else's life. They have to be. Sometimes they can't do what we want them to do. Sometimes they don't want to. Our job is to then decide if we can love them as they are and then set boundaries for how we show up to and around them and the relationship. I made a couple of videos about this awhile back because it is something I struggle with even still: - kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKasgaGmga1lq9E&t - kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGGUp3l_a5WpgNE
@katherinerademacher-vc8js2 ай бұрын
Thank you for your guidance. I've been struggling with the "I'm fine " at work. When all o want to do is hide away and cry, scream and sleep ot off.
@adversityrising2 ай бұрын
I can completely understand that feeling. I wonder what it would be like to let yourself not be fine. Even just to say, "I'm having a hard week" or "I'm exhausted" if nothing else. Giving yourself permission just to own that will also help you not feel like you have to pretend all of the time both at work and when you leave.
@MikeHarper-kq6ce2 ай бұрын
Making space for negative emotions
@ThokoBrown2 ай бұрын
Thank you
@satriani197512 ай бұрын
trying to accept my post divorce state.and the possible reasons why my wife left me for being inadequate for her.. accepting my imperfect body and personality that is my inadequate penis size ( 5 inches), my social awkwardness, introverted personality type, artistic , idealist way of thinking. and ultimately the fact that we were not compatible. how do you accept all this?
@joebond545Ай бұрын
First accept every single one of those flaws right now, and then choose the ones that u think u could potentially change in the future, such as body, or some bad personality traits, and then work towards changing them, maybe u succeed, maybe u fail, but at least u can say you tried and that's a way better outcome than being on ur death bed living with the regret of not trying but also all that pointless stress that just multiplied your problem. l'm also artistic thinking and socially awkward as well as introverted, with a average Penis but these are things we cannot change, this is simply who we are and there are a billion people who have a smaller one than us, and there are a billion who have a bigger one than us, all we can do is be the best versions of ourselves by changing what Is possible and accepting what is not
@rickandrygel9133 ай бұрын
It used to be a religious principle to take a break once every seven days
@chrisburp3 ай бұрын
Thank you. Going to do this when the spiral comes
@bluechandelier3 ай бұрын
Is there a way to turn off the background music? I can’t focus with it looping in the back. 😢 HSP struggles.
@adversityrising3 ай бұрын
Unfortunately not. You can see in other videos I did soon after that we decided not to have music throughout which has helped a lot - hindsight, huh? I do have a podcast though and I recorded this same content there so you can here it just as audio if you'd like: open.spotify.com/episode/2vyAcek3ulUUxa6bdTBFV7?si=e35f542499bd415d
@CompassPsychotherapy3 ай бұрын
I am in awe of your presentation skills. Love your messages/videos.