That’s how I feel about Outlander. I tried to watch it and had to stop which is a shame because I love the premise.

I just watched a video talking about why angel dust is the worst way to show a SA victim

I think Outlander is a good example of this even if I do like the show, I cannot sugarcoat how much it began to rely on this trope. The first and maybe second season was good because it's an unfortunate reality of the times and it's not played for a plot point, it shows how Claire and Jamie both are respectively affected. My one criticism is how Jamie's scene was so long and drawn out and it's shot almost like a love scene with the lighting, I even heard that they wanted Jamie's actor to shoot more of it and he didn't want to at all. Now the show is on it's 7th season and it has just gotten ridiculous. So far almost every member of the main cast has been SA'd and most of it has been because of the need for a plot point or cheap shock value. For example, the main villain does this to a young boy and is only used to get Jamie and the main villain to fight, after that it is never brought up again. It happens again to Jamie's teenage nephew as if him almost getting murdered wasn't enough, Jamie and Claire's daughter for some BS drama about who the father of her baby is, and more. Later in the series it happens again to Claire and is shown in great detail, which is so graphic I don't think I can describe, but the way Claire gets over it is done in such a corny way that it feels like a bad PSA. If you want to lean into dark and violent themes, why not focus more on the wars being fought? I'm sure you can create more drama or get characters to meet rather than inflicting one of your characters - usually women or children - with long lasting trauma that they get over after one conversation somehow.

Game of thrones take place in medieval europe and all those things were believed most the time

tbh i've been exposed to so many "free SA" scenes in tv shows and movies since a very young age, this most happening to women and it's mostly in horror/action movies that i've grown absolutely reluctant of those genres. I am very picky before watching anything new specially if it's a "heavy" show because I fear i'll find more SA's and sexual violence and it genuinely get's me sick and feeling deeply sad afterwards.

You are spot on. Like literally what was wrong with LOTR?

And there's plenty of other (non sexualized, non fetishized, etc) kinds of trauma that a character can be changed by and work to overcome. Drowning, fire, heights, endless other understandable fears that might be derived from traumatic experiences that a person could have to push through to do something plot relevant.

Have you seen Berserk?

1. Your hair is awesome! 2. Love the fairy lights, they give a cozy feel despite the somewhat heavy subject matter :3 3. I'm glad this vid got recommended to me, cause as I'm getting older and watching more adult shows nowadays (I'm 19), I've noticed these themes/tropes basically in every one I've seen. :/ I finished the new season of The Boys a few months back, with my parents actually! Overall we loved it and are excited for the next season, but man, episode 6? (iykyk) Tbh I laughed, but I was laughing out of disbelief and discomfort, I couldn't believe how far they took it-- I'm not really a puritan but geez I did not know you could put scenes like that on TV and get away with it 😭😭 Maybe I haven't watched enough TV. I teared up at Hughie breaking down with Annie, and was glad that his trauma was being addressed, but still... It didn't need to happen, it was way too drawn out, way too graphic, heartless even. Hughie's a mess but he has a heart of gold, idk why it has to be him out of all the characters. It's not even the first worst thing to happen to him, but I'd say it's definitely the most disgusting. And I don't even wanna get started on the mindfvck of him and the shapeshifter, he basically got violeted TWICE. I hope the writers will give him a break next season, or just... Not make him suffer in gratuitously perverse ways anymore? TLDR: adult TV shows should have less SA scenes and more scenes about petting a puppy, or touching grass.

The moment that Khal Drogo grape s Daenerys "Game of Thrones" lost me as a viewer. In general: If I want to see "realism" in the form of SA, I can read an Amnesty International report. I don't also need it in the media I consume for entertainment.

This isn’t really related but when I was in high school nearly every book we had to read had some form of SA in it (Speak, House on Mango Street, The Kite Runner, Catch 22) and it was highly triggering for me. So maybe this isn’t just a problem with gritty tv shows. Idk maybe I’m grasping at straws.

SKULLIE BY THE SEA I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU MY BEST FRIEND COWORKER SHE IS A S.A. SURVIVORS THAT ADULT SHOW MAKE ME SOO VERY ANGRY 😠 SHE CRYING😢 IN PAIN TRAUMATIZE I HUGGING HER TO CALM HER DOWN THIS HAS TO STOP I'M JOINING MY BROTHER MARTIAL ART SCHOOLS NEXT YEAR TO PROTECT MYSELF I'M GOING TO FIGHT✊ FOR OUR RIGHTS FOR ALL THE REAL S.A. VICTIMS SURVIVORS IN THE WORLD.

As someone who grew up with Bollywood movies from the 80/90s - I *really* needed this video essay, majority of them had a seen of grape and just used it for almost normalisation (in my opinion) and entertainment value. I saw another video essay who talked about not only it doesn't add anything but also these scenes are often from the grapist point of view by hyper seggualising the female character about to be graped. So it matters, not only why, how it effects the character and how it's shown..

Then watch shows that dont have that

The assault scenes in Outlander towards like four characters in the show are too much. Content warnings should’ve been there for each. There was one for 1 episode but geez! And why have them at all???

I personally call this 'Coward of the County Syndrome.' If you ever listen to the song 'Coward of the County', its like a tour of everything you've complained about, to music, in four minutes. A horrible ass hult on a woman is used as motivation for her pacifist husband to finally be a MAYUN. By which I mean, leaving his stricken wife at home, going to the bar, and punching all the guys who did it really hard until they fall over, and then verbally s-ing his own d about it right after by basically bragging to his deceased father who made him promise to be none violent that sometimes you got to fight to be a MAYUN. Words almost fail me. And yes, its endemic because its a fet hish for an uncomfortable number of men, and one of a multitude of reasons why frankly, generally speaking, I don't trust em. Not unless I got a VERY good reason to override that distrust. And right now, the sum total of entirely 100% het ero s exual men I trust after nearly 40 years on this planet is... zero. And thankyou for mentioning Astarion. Newbon just rocked that role. He EARNED that award.

The same thing happens in anime and as a girl it really sucks. And it’s so fucked up because it’s almost NEVER taken seriously as it actually is

Adding rape scenes into stories that didn't have them is the worst.

One correction, not with the video, but with the last article being read; In that particular The Sopranos episode it wasn't Tony's need for revenge after Jennifer gets raped, it's about her need for revenge and whether she would tell Tony about it so he would track the guy down and rip him to shreds. It was about her moral quandary, not his. You could critize that episode for conveniently having this happen to Jennifer Melfi right when she was ready to transfer Tony over to another psychiatrist, but it wasn't done to motivate Tony. Smartly the show decides to never let him know what actually happened, in order to avoid that very issue.

There are ways to do it differently. In the Scottish drama "Shetland", the female detective is g*raped. You don't see it happening AT ALL, the focus is on the effect on her and those around her. Not surprisingly those episodes were written and directed by women. Another show I'm currently watching is Dutch drama "Ferry: The Series". It's about a drug dealer. One of his colleagues gets tortured and you see how it affects him and ruins their "deals" (as he's the "cook"). You also get flashbacks into his childhood as well. It dawned on me that you rarely see ANYONE dealing with the trauma of being tortured or hurt in drama People just get up out of hospital to catch the criminal or to get back in action.

New to the channel, appreciate the insight. Subscribing

Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with a TV show that’s more happy and whimsical is all I’m saying. I do see where you’re coming from though. Writers can get lazy when asked to make dark and mature stories. “Just add, 3,000 X the trauma and call it a day.” Attitude.

Listening to what it’s like for the actors being made to do these scenes is horrifying, I would argue both the male and female actors are being SAed in these instances. The male actors don’t wanna assault their coworkers and the female actors don’t want to be assaulted. But they’re both being forced to perform sexual acts to the point of breaking down for the sick pleasures of the perverts in charge, tell me that’s not assault.

I'm an SA survivor myself! Thanks for raising my consciousness on this issue! As a cartoonist, I'm working on a "darker-and-edgier" superhero comic, set in a high-crime city, and never even thought of including rape scenes! So far, I've drawn an arson scene, police brutality and rioting in the '60s in my webcomic. I always thought Game of Thrones had way too much rape and sex work going on!

I blame GOT for starting the "trend" that everyone else picked up on. I'm surprised Outlander wasn't mentioned as a culprit as well. As for Mary's SA in Reign, I'm glad at least that they did show her trauma (whether realistic or not) in the show and it does change her as a character even if it's used as a plot point to further Francis' character. They show her not wanting to be touched, averse to the sound of breathing, and the way it affects her relationships with both Francis and Conde. That's just my two cents, though.

You know, it's fucked up that if censorship trends are believed that *talking* about sexual assault is less acceptable than showing it onscreen.

Yes this

There's a movie on Netflix called Luckiest Girl Alive (i think that's the name) and throughout the movie, it's shown in bits and pieces that the main character has a dark secret, and while i was halfway paying attention i honestly thought the secret was just that her friends committed a school sh**ting. Then the gang r*pe scene happens. And it just goes on and on and on. Why did that have to be shown? I hate it.

I feel like there's been a weird shift where people have decided the only way to engage with a character is aspirationally. I can't like a character and not approve of every single thing they do, I can't empathize with them and root for redemption without being accused of "giving a pass" for any wrongs they may have done or thought. Astarion is a wild case of this because unless you yourself are playing an evil character, his greatest crime until the ritual is having a bad attitude. After he's lived one of the most comically horrifying existences I could imagine for more than twice as long as the average human's entire lifespan. But if you show empathy for him, talk about how you understand his feelings and want him to do better, you'll get hounded by overly righteous weirdos and accused of being a terrible person. Or you'll get called shallow and told your engagement with the character is entirely the result of shallowly lusting for him--a particularly insulting sentiment for the storyline he has on his romance route. It's just baffling to me.

Finally! I hate these so-called gritty shows. Its BS imo. For ppl who had experienced SA its retruamatising. For those who love this kind of thing its sickening how they can 'dream' about this if they havent done it to another human being OR if they did, they get enjoyment out of it and can replay it to gross little heart's delight. Also, imo some of the writers or whoever wants it in a show/movie, i think thats their way of fantasising what they really want to do to ppl. I'm glad some writers, actors, etc are pushing back. I also feel this is used to normalise SA to younger generations to continue the this disgusting cycle

GoT is one of those shows that, in 30 years, will age like milk in the sun. It's revolting. And I don't get the realistic speech, THE SHOW IS ABOUT DRAGONS, WTF IS THE REALISTIC PART???

I FUCKING HATE GOT. It seems like a Lord of the Rings for horny dudes. And the series is made is SUCH A DISGUSTING WAY it doesn't even seen like a modern show, it seems like made in 70s. It revolts me even more that, when you talk about it to most men, they tend to brush it off, but ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE if there's male nudity or a male being raped in some scene. THEN it's horrible and unnecessary. Damn I hate this industry.

"Dark and gritty show? Add in sex! EVEN BETTER WHEN IT'S SA!" everyone else in the writer's room: 🧍‍♂️

I think there are two ways about this. I don't Nescessarily think that like traumatic things happening to somebody else to advance a characters story is wrong in itself but it's also necessary to deal with how the character themselves deals with their trauma. Especially, if they're supposed to be a main character like in game of thrones

I think lumping SA with violence against women and then saying that can't be done is a bit flawed. Violence, in this case of brutal violence, happens mostly toward men so at best it is a meaningless thing to say. Another problem is that you say you're not for censorship but do try and direct others' writing. How is that not the same thing? It's like saying the US has freedom of speech but not freedom from consequence of that speech. Weirdly, people don't realize that with that thought process, North Korea could be considered as free as the US. But again, trying to dictate writing is censesorship. You also make the claim that it isn't necessary. That seems ridiculous to me. In most stories, it isn't necesesary? You may not like it, but the reasons you give, like aiding the development of male characters, makes it necessary to the story. You also tell others to do research before writing this. This research mostly requires an online connection which not all have. You also argue that many sets where SA scenes are filmed are bad, or at least that enough are, but you only show like 2 examples. You also seem to be of the mindset, correct me if I'm wrong, that men are mostly writing this type of content. The thing is, you only look toward hollywood. The only thing writers should have to do, or more specifically publishers, is put a warning scene that those types of scenes are happening in the book. Sort of like an epilepsy warning. Other than that, writing shouldn't be dictated by others with a bias. If that was the case, writing would stagnate. SA is like murder, in which it is used for different purposes other than the victims. People are ok with this when it comes to murder but try to buck back against it with SA. Ultimately, it is the same thing. And only shows wide scale hypocrisy because most murder in media is done to men, and no one really cares. It is just the same basic concept except with SA to women.

Didn't they also do that with in the tomb raider 2012 game?

Raping Sansa isn't even the worst thing they showed Ramsey do in the show. He tortured and mutilated Theon earlier, reducing him to a quivering, barely-person mess. I don't know why they even added the scene. It was so unnecessary. Edit: Then again, they showed Theon getting tortured and raped by those two women, so...

exactly this. and it’s in so many media's made by men and I hate it so much. Like example in the highly praised Manga Berserk, one scene especially, depicts it in a way you can’t even tell if its actually hentai it’s so shitty made!? Or this new anime show everyone is yapping about on netflix that has an exploitative imminent r-scene on a teenage girl right in the first episode like it’s nothing?? 😡🤬

Agree, agree, agree. I also think that even the badly done stories allow real conversations to be had that a community couldn't or wouldn't have had otherwise. It speaks to the collective mindset that needs to be brought up to speed, that what we've gotten so far is deemed "realistic". Perhaps what they mean is just "it happens" - the same way people say when it happens in real life. Often the first thing to facilitate necessary discussions is an irritant; I know I've had talks wind all the way around the topic with male family members and friends. I've left so many behind who are blind to feminine value. So at the least, I'm grateful to the terrible plot points for showing me things about people - because the characters may be fictional, but human reactions are real. Bad stories walk so good stories can run. I do hope to see good ones in the future, but even more so, I would love to see the discussions that come from all of them start to cause real generational changes.

❤

On a meta-level, I've noticed that whenever women complain about this there is always, without fail, that one guy who goes, "well men get sexually assaulted too!" And yes, men absolutely do get sexually assaulted too, but using that to talk over women who've been assaulted is a special kind of sleazy. Using one victim's trauma to talk over another victim is one of the worst things you can do to someone who has gone through one of the most degrading things a person can experience. It just comes across as playing oppression olympics. Another thing that bothers me is that while hypersexuality is a common and valid trauma response, I'm worried it's becoming the only kind of trauma response media is willing to depict nowadays. I had the opposite reaction when I was assaulted. I became extremely averse to physical contact altogether, but that's rarely shown in media. Media either ignores the fallout almost entirely or they go the hypersexual route. I guess trauma responses like mine aren't "exciting" enough to really be explored. That's my problem with characters like Angel Dust becoming more common. They only depict the hypersexual response to assault when that is not the only response people can have. The "sex worker who was assaulted in the past" is practically it's own cliche at this point because of how over-used it is. I think this comes down to voyeurism. Aversion to physical contact isn't as easy for writers to present in a fetishized way, so they usually ignore it. Responses like mine are usually written off as just being "prudish".

Thanks for making this video, and sharing what happened to you, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I could relate to what you were talking about someone with complex PTSD. I am just over eleven years of recovery from it, but what happened to me will never be forgotten, the wounds just become more dulled over time. I was hospitalised, put on heavy sleeping meds, became agoraphobic and could barely go outside for almost a year. I began to work before I was recovered and regularly went in on one hour of sleep, leading me to get multiple health issues. All of this is complex, messy, and definitely not sexy, and doesn't sound like too much fun, and not something writers would want to sensationalise for TV, and that's part of the problem. SA is never sexy, but somehow, creepy male writers want to make it so. As soon as I heard of GOT had tons of rape scenes, I refused to watch it, even though I loved fantasy. If you want to see the most accurate and devastating portrayal of PTSD from a real victim and incredible writer I have ever seen, I would watch "I May Destroy You" by Michaela Coel. But major trigger warning: do not watch unless you are in a good place and suggest having a person nearby if watching for support after. This did re-trigger me in some ways, but I had some kind of catharsis by watching it. Michaela Coel should have received many more awards for that work, but it was probably too real for people to stomach at the time.

THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO! And yes! it is an unsettling amount and nothing about the depiction is realistic.

"It made me stronger" I fucking HATE that line. No trauma did not make me stronger, it stole precious years of happiness from me, made me (often unnecessarily) careful and jumpy and made me put hundreds of hours and euros into healing from it, all of which I could have poured into actually developing skills and strength. The fuck you mean "It makes you stronger"?

I wish more people talked about this! I'm kinda aro/ace and I always thought that I was just adverse to SA scenes because I don't generally like sex scenes, but I've noticed that so many SA scenes either feel so unnecessary or worse, sexualized. Sometimes they're blatantly used as fanservice which is so gross. Then of course, they never show a great example of trauma and healing. :(

In outlander season 1 they did the sexual assulat on jaime well, it played into his relationship with claire and how helt about himself. It hurt claire and she did alot to help him feel safe ending with a sweet emotional scene. In another season a girl claire befriends is attacked amd assulated and it ruined a marriage she didnt want and it forced her to understand sex and what can happen because she was worried about that. She then was able to get closeure with her attacker being killed and his head dropped at her feet. And having a good life. Like it can be histrorical and be done well.

You’ve put it into words perfectly I’m so tired of seeing sa in shows for cheap drama

God, that Buffy scene. I hadn't seen the interview before, but it's already a scene I have to pretend isn't canon. And yeah, GoT has so much already, but spoilers about Sansa's made me stop watching immediately

SAY IT LOUDEEEEEEER!!!

Before I say anything, I want to clarify that I DO NOT think that the amount of SA in modern media is justified. I just wanted to respond to one specific point. In this case, I think that when people talk about “realism” in the media they consume, they’re talking about it less from a literal perspective and more from a character one. For any fictional series, to an extent you can tweak literal realism to an extent to serve your story (Game of Thrones and The Boys are prime examples of this). You can have fantastical elements and still have it make sense. However, for any fictional media to work from a character and thematic standpoint, you CANNOT sacrifice the realism of character (i.e. the way someone would realistically behave in a certain situation, the personality a character would have, motivations, internal struggles, etc.), otherwise it creates plot holes and character inconsistencies, and makes the media less thematically sound and resonates less with the audience. Game of Thrones, for example, is set in an incredibly violent world in pseudo-medieval times and currently engaged in a bloody power struggle. From a character perspective, you’d realistically observe a higher-than-normal number men who engage in or do not mind the sexual assault of women. From a character perspective, if you’re writing a gritty story, it be weird from a character perspective if men in a society in which men frequently have power over women *didn’t* think that they had the right to women’s bodies. The Boys, similarly, is set in a modern world in which corrupt superheroes are basically allowed to do whatever the fuck they want with no consequences. I mean, one of the characters literally is known for sexually harassing women. From a character perspective, it’s realistic that individuals with unchecked levels of power from both a physical and social standpoint would engage in terrible violations and crimes against people, including sexual assault, especially if in a society that still has exploitable systems and culture that allow or even encourages women to be treated like objects. So, yeah. People are moreso talking about character realism when they say that stuff, not literal realism. Again, I want to reiterate, this does not negate ANY of your points about how gratuitous it is or how it’s often mishandled in writing female characters. I just wanted to respond to the realism point, but to be fair I probably got something wrong here. Toodles!